#also drawing her w/o glasses is so weird i keep thinking she's a different person

[vamprnce]

also here's some extra Nel outfits, I finally got to draw them out ahh I'm still thinking abt a symbiote suit bc I haven't figured out a design yet

[peremadeleine]

The Empathetic Dog Thief, Episode 1

Alternative titles: “Will: Deer Hunter and Dog Dad,” “Crimes Against Costuming,” “What Year Is It: A Crime Drama”

Armed with a gin & tonic and one sleepy cat, I finally gave the NBC show another shot.

I didn’t know Will had a superpower. Cool...?

How come he’s play-acting the murderer, though? Just because he can think like a killer doesn’t mean he needs to be reenacting it himself. That’s just confusing for the audience?? The way they did it in the Red Dragon movie was still effective without coming off as “aw, Will’s playing serial killer”

“This is my design” what

Plaid shirt and striped tie, truly a costuming sin. I didn’t love Will’s “modern wild west” costume vibes in Red Dragon, but it was better than this.

Don’t pretend that Jack and Will don’t know each other. Hate that.

Do look forward to hearing how many different ways people can pronounce “Graham” though.

Oh boy, why does Crawford push Will’s glasses up on his face while murmuring “hey” softly like a lover?? They’re strangers. That was mighty uncomfortable.

is he just assuming Will is on the spectrum? Right after they met???

and then Will confirms, but wait, he just has an “active imagination”?

STAY IN YOUR LANE

at least in canon Crawford doesn’t take advantage of people on the gd spectrum, and he spins it as being for the good of the victims. jfc.

“based on the characters by Thomas Harris”

Of course all the victims in the first episode are going to be women

“it’s not about all of these girls, it’s about one of them”--seven minutes in and they’re already ripping off Silence.

“he’s like Willy Wonka. every girl he takes is a candy bar.” no. nO.

“I mean, I would. Wouldn’t you?” no Will, Crawford’s a douchebag, not a murderous psychopath.

8 minutes in, me: WHERE’S THE TITLE CHARACTER THIS IS B O R I N G

“Why is it now a crime scene?” Because Will says so and he’s his own forensic team, apparently. Next question.

Also apparently he only owns red plaid-print shirts. Huh.

Lol Will has empathy for everyone but a grieving father confronted with his daughter’s dead body???

I don’t like the way Crawford is speaking to Will one bit. It’s supposed to be sensitive, but it comes off as condescending and mollycoddling. Ew. That is SO not Jack Crawford.

"You wrote the standard monograph on time of death by insect activity"?!?

so Will IS his own forensic team. Weird flex, but okay.

Antler velvet. Christ, HERE WE GO.

“You not real FBI?” Rip-off of Silence #2!

“You unstable?” Stop coming at Will, Jesus!

Will is a serial dognapper. SIX DOGS. Maybe, maybe, people in this neighborhood are missing their gd dogs, you monster.

none of them are even UGLY dogs

Will’s also drinking tho. One point for Gryffindor.

Oh, another plaid shirt. At least this one’s got a nice pattern. And isn’t red.

The bathroom is painted red, tho. What is it with Fuller and red walls?

Hugh Dancy’s American accent slips when he tries to like...emote. Yikes.

Strangulation is neither quick nor merciful.

A forensic specialist who wears her long-ass dark hair loose down her back and shoulders in the lab should be FIRED.

Implied “we covet what we see every day” scene: Silence Rip-Off #3

nineteen minutes in, me: W H E R E  I S  H A N N I B A L this is false marketing

Okay, I actually kind of like the “okay, I can cover him 80%” scene. Crawford’s real good at fucking up people’s lives in order to save lives.

twenty-one minutes in, me: HANNIBAL’S HERE THANK CHRIST

will probably regret this thought later

it’s okay, Hans. I, too, hate the career choices that have led me to this point.

the fact that he has tissues by HIS chair in his office is fuckin’ hilarious, what a douche, I love him

same, tho

The costumes and sets and cars are all screaming 70s/80s. But smartphones!

I’m watching this pretty late so my volume is a bit low and I cannot understand 70% of Hannibal’s dialogue, uh oh

Hannibal is supposed to be short so I don’t think this little “oh Crawford confused the short weepy patient with Hannibal” bit is that cute...I’ve always felt like Mads was poorly cast for that reason, among others. Oh well.

I take it all back:

HIS FACE

“No secretary?” “She was predisposed to romantic whims.” Not sure whether I like this line because Hannibal’s the one acting on whimsy or if it makes me cringe because of the way they’re dismissing Hannibal’s former secretary. Hmm.

“Are these yours, doctor?” a) Duh and b) Silence Rip-Off #4

Why the fuck does Crawford think he can just examine Hannibal’s papers? Like?????????

no wonder he hates your rude ass, Jack

HANNIBAL WHY IS WOUND MAN LYING ON YOUR DESK YOU PRECIOUS IDIOT

“Very interesting, even for a layman” Wow, unexpected Red Dragon rip-off (by the Red Dragon adaptation) #1

this whole scene is made of cringe HELP

why is Hannibal dressed in his Easter Sunday suit

Tattlecrimes.com. I’M SPEECHLESS at the stupidity of that.

tabloids are, in fact, still a thing in the Year of Our Lord 2013

No way is Hannibal fucking Lecter going to drink the swill that probably is Jack Crawford’s coffee, as if.

“Not fond of eye contact, are you?” Yes, Hannibal is the only character who should be canonically coming at anyone like this. (But also poor Will.)

But Will, at least look in his direction while he’s talking to you? I also don’t love eye contact...it’s rude not to even look at a person, though.

Hannibal finally used a contraction! He’s human after all. (This is a common Fanfic-Writing-of-Hannibal problem. I used to have it, too. You think to emulate him you have to write lofty, staid dialogue. But we’re talking about Hannibal the Punmaster General here.)

“This cannibal you have him getting to know” I’m sorry, who said anything about cannibals???

Stop incriminating yourself Hannibal honestly

Wait, is the implication that the victim whose lungs were taken is Hannibal’s? I hope not, because what would he be doing in Minnesota, and since when did Hannibal cut people up alive (Krendler notwithstanding--he’s a special case), especially women????? He’s a Monster(TM), but not a fucking sadist.

Will’s wardrobe also contains gingham!

no really, when did they determine that the serial killer was a cannibal?? did I sleep through that part?

“have Dr. Lecter draw up a psychological profile” bitch, please. Dr. Lecter doesn’t work for Crawford.

I don’t like hearing/watching people eat, especially in quiet moments. That’s going to become a problem in this show, isn’t it?

Will’s dream dear is fucking awful CGI. Wow.

That brown blazer--Hannibal would never.

EVERYTHING about Hannibal that should be black--his clothes and his hair--is brown here. It’s...weird.

to quote @random-emerald-thoughts​, “my homocidal boy aint about that tawny bullshit”

Hannibal Lecter: food snob--that’s canon. 

Don’t like this dialogue, though. And Hannibal bringing anyone he just met food in glorified Tupperware rings very false.

“Uncle Jack” what the fuck

Wow, Fuller jumped directly into the teacup thing right from the start. Yikes. He clearly didn’t understand it. (Clarice isn’t the teacup, bro. The teacup represents time, and disorder, and will it ever be reversed?)

Lots of weird metaphors in this episode overall, though none as bad as the Willy Wonka thing.

Why is Hannibal in Minnesota? Is he a crime-scene investigator now? Is he on the FBI payroll? Doesn’t he have patients with appointments to keep? Social obligations? I HAVE QUESTIONS.

He’s not a priss or a germaphobe. DISLIKE.

Do like the phone call. Just fuckin’ carelessly with people’s lives for the fun of it, that’s our Hannibal.

FBI? Are you FBI, Will?

He shouldn’t have been issued that sidearm if he can’t hold it steady.

One shot would have been plenty. Maybe two. Jfc, the reason Clarice shot Gumb so many times was because he was going to shoot her. Hobbs had a knife, which he dropped, and he was incapacitated by the first/second shot. Silence Rip-Off #5

How the fuck is he still alive and talking?! Will plugged him about eight times!

Call the police, Hannibal, or the ambulance, or take off your jacket and provide first aid to this girl. You’re a doctor!

It really is like he wants to be arrested or something.

And then he gets to ride in the ambulance?? Just Because?

Overall, it was...not very good, imo, poorly paced, very poorly written, with acting that jumped wildly from “very good” to “awful,” sometimes from the same actors. Intense cringe throughout a lot of the script. Ripped off Silence of the Lambs, a superior movie about many of the same characters, way too many times. Will is boring and I don’t care about him, but then I also don’t care about canon Will. And I still think Mads Mikkelsen was poorly cast as Hannibal...the costumes aren’t doing him any favors, either. We’ll see if he can bring me around.

Some moments of genuine humor that I appreciated, though, and some nods to the canon that I grudgingly appreciated, too, including Hannibal being a dick and Jack Crawford fucking up people’s lives.

Hopefully if you made it this far into my observations you got a kick out of them. I probably won’t go into this much detail for every episode, but I do intend to try to watch at least all of Season 1.

Painful as it might be.

[maribelsawyer]

- ̗̀ * ( ella purnell + cisfemale + she/her ) have you seen ( maribel sawyer ) walking around campus ? they are a ( nineteen ) year old, studying ( journalism ). we hear they are in ( delta gamma chi ), and can be ( benevolent & impressionable ), maybe it’s because they are a ( gemini ). they sort of remind us of ( scraped knees , magnifying glasses , vintage oxfords ), maybe we can find out more ! *  ̖́-  + newspaper writer

god okay looks like i’ve fallen in love w ella purnell and i want to b her. anyways maribel is my newest baby n im sorta making her up as i go so pls bare w me lmao

TW: eating disorder mentions, subtle abuse?

{she is not currently in that mindset ^}

gen. info

full name: maribel ottoline sawyer

nickname(s): mari, bell, lottie b/c middle name, etc. etc. just sawyer sometimes idk

b.o.d. - june 1st, 19 yrs old

label(s): the marionette, the demure, the prevaricator, etc. etc.

height: like 5′3″ prolly tbh

hometown: duluth, minnesota

sexuality: shit she don’t know

bio. info

her dad’s in the air force, her mom’s published three diet cookbooks and two different DVDs--maribel is the only middle child

one of those conservative, all american families, they were strict and definitely made it known that they were parents and not friends by any means

9pm curfew, not leaving the dining room until all ur food is gone, grounded if ur grades were below their expectations, etc. etc. 

her older sister can evoke emotions in others thru her acting like no other. has taken the hearts (and leads) of all her acting directors since childhood. her voice is broadway material.

and her older brother? has been the best linebacker on any high school team he’s joined; hopes to make it to the big leagues. but if he doesn’t? he’s been taking college-level classes since he was a sophomore.

and...maribel?

maribel is...just, maribel.

for the longest time, there was nothing special about maribel

she couldn’t sing, or dance, or compose words in pretty prose

her grades were only satisfactory after hrs n hrs of studying everyday

homegirl can’t even cook w/o smth exploding

in short, maribel has never been good at anything. can’t draw within the lines, can’t follow the line, opens her mouth at the wrong time. etc. etc. shit? rough.

ANYWAYS

her family moves around a lot b/c of her dad, so she’s never really been in one place long enough to really prove herself? always been the quiet girl in class while her siblings brought home gold stars everyday

the kinda girl others would sorta push around n bully a lil bit bc she would never know what to say; prolly just cried a lot tbh

grew up w a lot of insecurities b/c of this

definitely doesnt help that her mother is obsessed w beauty n fitness n like

their mother p much forced her lifestyle onto her children, mari has a rough relationship w food b/c of it

ANYWAYS part 2

grew up always in the shadows of her siblings and their accomplishments, and spent a lot of her time tryn find something to be good at just so somebody could give her a stamp of approval

was always the ~wannabe~, the girl who would just endlessly suck up to the most popular girl she could find and try to mimic her to the best of mari’s abilities, just so she could survive her school experience

by the time mari was a freshmen in high school, her parents had divorced and she finally thought she could have a normal school experience and make something for herself

obv not. her mother shipped her off to a boarding school in nevada and that was it; her sister had already graduated and her brother was still in middle school.

it was finally just mari.

of course like she tried to suck up to others but it wasn’t really helpful, everybody was a lil too boujie for her and she always froze up when she tried to speak to the ~popular kids~

they only rly spoke to her b/c she’s got this knack for forging shit, like i dont think she even has her own handwriting; she always copies other people’S b/c she’s just. so used to tryn to mimic others n be them as much as possible

around this time she found herself fucking around in her computer class more often than not; it’d been the only elective left b/c she arrived in the middle of the year

but she surprisingly enjoyed it, like, a lot

her parents never really allowed much computer use b/c like. rots ur brain or whatever.

got into programming, but when she found out that u could ? hack shit ? kinda peaked her interest.

her shift into programming to hacking was subtle but before she knew it, she was fucking around on websites for the fun of it. never anything severe

computers became her friends, y’know

that was until her sophomore year and there was another loser fucking around on the computers during lunchtime

and like...they just started kinda talking, y’know? became friends, prolly mari’s first legitimate friend in...forever, really

the kid was kinda weird but she didn’t mind b/c fuck, mari couldn’t be picky n she didn’t mind weird

like...they were obsessed w conspiracies n mysteries n shit

it started to rub off on mari too, b/c homegirl is an idiot but. an observant idiot.

so she started getting reeeally into mysteries and shit. started acting like a mini investigator w/ her pal; solving stupid things like ‘who wrote ‘mindy is a whore’ in the bathroom stall’ and ‘does mr. roberts have a secret obsession w kpop’

no mindy is not a whore it was slander

yes mr. roberts is into kpop

ANYWAYS part 3

so they were these nancy drew, scooby doo, veronica mars knock off duo

by junior yr her partner started getting into like. drinking and minor drugs and other things that the other boarding school kids were smuggling in, y’know. 

this meant that mari was getting into that shit too, y’know. cant stay innocent forever.

became a lil bit of a pothead lmao

so like now theyre just stoners who go around solving shit and prolly also stirring shit up for the hell of it

so like . . . . . one night they were doin’ their thing, right? and her partner brings up this...completely wild idea

they live in nevada. y’kno what else is in nevada?

area 51

these fucking idiots want to go break into this fucking. air force base. to find area 51.

guess what they did?

they attempted to break into the air force base. like. of course they tried.

they failed like, super miserably, got arrested for trespassing and had to be bailed out of the county jail by their parents

her dad almost lost his job so he was mcfuckin PISSED esp once they figured out she was high as shit

her partner? disappeared. nobody knows where they went.

mari was moved from the boarding school to a public school closer to where her mother could, begrudgingly, keep an eye on her

kinda spent the rest of her high school career p miserable, she gave up on her whole ~detective~ thing and resorted to making fake IDs for her fellow high schoolers

was drug-tested like every week or so, too

around this time her mental health and relationship w food got worse, she barely made it to graduation. took a gap year to recover, worked a buncha jobs but usually gets fired from them b/c she’s really fucking bad like most things besides her two (2) unconventional talents that are decidedly useless

came to ucla b/c her mother p much made her, her mother’s a legacy and that’s about the only reason why she got into delta gamma chi

doesn’t want ppl to know she was a loser and also like . fucked up her dad’s life a lil, b/c it was def a thing that made the news and the only reason why her name wasn’t in the articles was b/c she was a minor at the time

so she like...lies abt her childhood a lot

tells a lotta lil white lies b/c she just. doesn’t wanna b her

uuuhh wanted to do computer science bc she loves it but her parents were both like ‘lmao we’re not paying for shit if u do that’ bc they don’t think it’s very ~ladylike~ n they still want her to like. just be submissive and obedient n shit.

so she took up journalism b/c neither her parents think it’s like a real career and they just want her to find a husband n get married n settle down n stop being troublesome

fun fact: she has a scholarship for being lefthanded so that pays for Some of it esp b/c she’s an out of state student

still struggles a lil bit w food but she’s like. doing a lot better. goes to group therapy, probably

uuuh that’s it for now i think ??

OH SIKE !! she’s a writer for the newspaper and writes ADVICE columns on various topics b/c she’s good at offering advice but only when she can sit down n think abt it lmao

^^she goes by an alias b/c she just. doesnt want ppl to know its her idk she thinks its embarrassing

other than that she’s probably like ... doing campus tech support b/c that’s her current job but who knows how long that’ll last lmao

knowing her she’s going to accidentally switch into her phone sex voice (another, old job she doesn’t do anymore) n get fired for tryn seduce a man with ‘did u try turning it on and off again?’

OKAY i think that’s all lmao

personality

mari is just. awkward, man

i mean like...she’s sorta bad at talking to others a lot of the time??

like ppl r kinda like ‘how tf r u a delta gamma chi girl’ n she’s just like i mean u  h h h h 

prolly stutters a lil bit b/c she’s usually rly anxious

but she’s v v nice, like, she tries her hardest to be a good friend n everything

but she also kinda switches her personality to appeal to whoever she’s talking too ?? like she wants to be. likable. she’s not real w/ others v v often

if ur boujie yeah she’ll pretend to be boujie too

she prolly still sells fake IDs to high schoolers n some of her college peers, she has one herself n hasn’t gotten caught yet sooo

always fidgets like she can’t rly sit still often b/c she’s so nervous

is a lil bit of a stoner but i feel like u can’t ever tell tbh

a lil shy n hesitant at first i’d imagine, or maybe just always lmao

has a bit more of a personality once she sucks it up n gets closer to u but she’s always v v cautious abt befriending ppl just b/c she’s had a bad time w bullies n her one friend in life disappeared so like...bummer, y’kno?

can never say no. like, i dont think it’s in her vocabulary. she’s a yes gal.

will p much do anything u ask of her b/c she’s constantly seeking approval

can ramble a bit when she’s nervous which is always but she also apologizes like a lot.

squeaks like a mouse

present at parties but it’s always kinda like. who r u. n she has to remind everybody that she’s a sorority gal too

considers herself v v forgettable, like, just v unimportant

like she’s just rly insecure

still does computer shit n is still rly good at it but she hasn’t done anything srs w/ it so it’s just wasted potential

going to use her journalism degree to do investigative journalism and maybe escape her parents, eventually

she just. bends easily to other’s wills, y’know? she’s hashtag soft

even tho she’s like. shy n awkward n shit it doesn’t take a lot for her to like, laugh, or smile

like she tries rly hard to appear happy n an optimist n just like. unfettered

a lil plain jane we stan

i cant think of anything else but she’s. she’s a good kid

OH she’s rly good w numbers n math but like that’s abt it. she’s a whole dumbass on everything else sometimes

is bad w talking n giving advice like in person but like ?? in her column or ovr text or smth ? she’s good. she’s concise.

is a good team player/good w/ projects/etc. etc.

OH OKAY YEAH

she’s rly observant n b/c she’s a lil bit of a compulsive liar she can usually tell when ppl arent honest

depending on how close y’all r she’ll prolly crack down on ur bullshit

but she’s also timid so like who knows tbh

this isn’t a personality trait but she wears like medium hoop earrings all the time n it’s cute ok bye

OK OK LAST THING

she’s so. fucking. clumsy. she will bump into everything. she’ll bump into the air. fuck, she prolly falls over just standing straight. usually has bruises n scratches from just being a clumsy idiot

like she can b a lil ditzy y’know ?? doesn’t have much common sense, sometimes, n can b naive but idk it’s all rly dependent on her n who she’s w n just. how i end up playing her lmao

lovs vintage. is cute.

wanted connections

her roommate uwu

ppl she’s interacted w/ during her childhood !! she’s moved around a lot so like . . . . they could kno each other

mmm sorority sisters

um gimme a ride or die or like a best friend or smth PLS she needs more friends

just more friends in general. she’s awkward but she needs ‘em

?? a one night stand ?? she’s not really . . . known for hooking up w/ ppl but i think an accidental occurrence would b fun!

idk somebody for her to just. crush on from afar. prolly stutters whenever they come near or talk to her or smth

^^i mean like an unrequited crush

SOMEBODY USE HER ! RUIN HER !

FRIENDS OR FUCKING OR WHATEVER

fake friends too! use her for her ~kewl skillz~

bad influence

let her b a good influence

some kinda...skinny love idk what that means. a will they wont they. smth cute. smth pure

it’d be wild if her partner just popped up outta the blue like that b/c mari 100% thinks they were like killed by the government

ppl she gets high w n talk abt conspiracies w/ tbh

ppl she gives or has given advice to w her column pieces ! love it

idk partners in a class

enemies or smth. i want conflict.

a tutor for her dumbass

but also anybody who needs help in math? she can tutor u

idk like this we can work a lil smth smth out

i give u one penny, if u plot w me. pls. i am poor.

[faveanimeships]

hi!! i saw your thing about sending you ship requests, so here's mine! i'm 5' 4", korean, and i have shoulder-length dark hair. i wear circle glasses, and i have a terrible prescription. i love to read, listen to classical music, and i'm a foodie! i eat when i'm sad. i'm blunt and direct, along with rather reserved, and i have a hard time letting people get close to me. but, once i do, i love and care for them to no end!!!! i like to dress comfortably (ex. leggings and sweatshirt).

i’m so sorry i just read your rules for your ships and i sent in the description about the korean girl w circle glasses please forgive me … this is for haikyuu, i am infp-t, ravenclaw, and i am bisexual (i use she/her pronouns). i’m so sorry for not reading the rules before!!

Henlo okay so im sorry this was super late I have no excuse to give bcs I procrastinate so much anyways youre super cute yeet plz don’t apologise hahahahha I totes relate sad eat, angry eat, happy eat, depressed eat and stress eat yeet omG CLASSICAL MUSIC WATAFAK I IIIIIII REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE CHOPIN MY FAVE IS HIS NOCTURNE OP.9 NO.2 OR FANTAISIE IMPROMPTU (I know like theyre so different idk im super bipolar aahahah) WHOS YOUR FAVE !!!! l also like Mozart and some Vivaldi hahahaha dw I also wear prescription and its getting worse everyday yeet I should stop looking at screens

Ps we are super similar like im an INFJ

Anyways lets get to your ships

I SHIP YOU WITH Tooru Oikawa !!

You are reserved, shy, blunt, comfortable, open minded and prefer to trust your gut feeling; you’re also thirsty for knowledge and love to learn. Your ability to have an open mind will only lead you to pursue new interests and new genres. When you’re looking for a partner you would probably look for someone accepting or equally open-minded, and probably someone empathetic. I’m not sure bur your reserved personality may bring you lots of outgoing friends, and maybe when you’re looking for a partner, you’d be the listener in the relationship. You’d be great at giving empathetic advices, especially emotional ones since you know, you’d get a feeling of what and what not to say, which IMO is amazing. Looking at your description, you’d be the calm person in the relationship due to your reserved and caring nature, and so you’d probably prefer a louder partner?

Oikawa is flirty, childish, smug, intelligent, slightly ambitious and cunning. But at the same time, he doesn’t have much self-confidence and is quick to defend himself if he thinks he will get hurt. He’s also a very careless person, as Iwa-chan mentioned, he’d push himself to practice because of he felt as if he was inferior to tobio or ushiwaka. THEREFORE I ship you with him, both of you can form a very strong bond. Oikawa hates relying on people but if you successfully assure him that he can always come to you when he’s feeling under the weather, he would try to rely on you and thus, a supportive relationship is born!!!! I feel like due to your calm and empathetic nature, you can soothe poor Tooru, give him great advice when he’s pushing himself too hard/ feeling inferior. You’d be his ‘rock’ and stabilise him. You’d pull him out if he’s stressed out or overthinking, or even stop him from making childish or rash decisions that he will come to regret later. Of course, Oikawa is still stubborn to a degree, hence you will improve your reasoning skills, and he will eventually come to understand that it’s because you love and care for him and that’s why you’re stopping him from making regretful decisions. (To add on to this: you’re blunt but and you won’t sugar coat words, but Tooru needs to listen to the truth behind his actions, so your blunt and direct way of speaking would be very beneficial to him) You’re caring so you’d try to understand him and then help him out. You’d be am amazing listener.

ALSO Oikawa loves to talk about his day, and you’d probably love to listen to him talk, he loves cuddling and stroking your hair, he’s a big fan of PDA and he would always try to make time for you but volleyball, sadly is his priority. It would be great if you supported him wholeheartedly and encouraged him. Obviously, Oikawa loves to spoil and care for you!! He’s very observant and he knows how to utilise everyone’s skillset and talents, and obviously, he would keep a close eye on you and would probably suggest that you try new things/ comment on how he thinks you’re particularly good at something.  He would also recommend that you try new things if he thinks you are suitable for it, for example, he may think you have great flexibility and will suggest you take up a sport that will improve your flexibility and also potentially become something you enjoy. He’s also great at encouraging you and will definitely eat with you when you’re sad, he would probably bring you to his favourite ramen place and say that he’s buying you food instead, hoping to see you smile uwu

Anyways Oikawa is also really smart (class 6!!!!!), both of you can study together and become the unbeatable smart couple (yeet), revision sessions include weird puns yall make up from the revision material, helping each other out with tricky questions or solving tricky questions together. Tooru is a fun partner and he would be amazing to be around. When you’re stressed out he’d suggest yall take a break and give you an amazing massage.

Things he likes:

1.     Cuddling

2.     You TALKING!!!

3.     PDA PDA

4.     Cute pecks

5.     You coming to his games and cheering him on

6.     Mutual trust

7.     Meeting each other despite your hectic schedules (even for 5 minutes)

8.     Meeting at least once a week

9.     Spending time with you

10.  Eating milk bread with you

(A/N: IDK WHY BUT I FEEL LIKE you and iwachan are probs siblings with very similar personalities yeet ???)

I also ship you with (under the cut)!!!

Issei Matsukawa

Matssun looks intimidating but he’s really just an idiot + funny person!! He would be a big tease, will initiate PDA but will get really bashful when you try to do it. Matssun is funny and will always pull pranks on you with Makki, and you could turn into a prankster yourself (heh) Although Matssun isn’t big fan of reading or classical music and it shows, maybe it’s good to date your polar opposite (he’d be a Gryffindor) he’s not loud but he can be if he wants. Occasionally you may find him being loud around you (he likes attention from his S/O) but you will grow to love that side of him! Matssun usually shows that he cares by joking around (he just wants you to smile) but he’s quite the observant one so he wouldn’t go too far with his jokes. He’s very clear about boundaries. Matssun is generally a very good natured and fun person to be around, he’s great at supporting people, he knows how to pull your confidence levels up, and will give amazing advice. He’s also amazing at encouragement (although he shows it in his own unique way). Plus, he’s also very good at dealing with blunt comments so he won’t be offended easily, would probably know how to talk back when you offer him a blunt statement. He’s also very keen on eating, he loves to eat, so he’s always down for some good food! At some point, he will probably attempt to cook for you, but yea I’ll leave that up to your imagination.

ALSO Matssun also appreciates the fact that you love to dress comfortably, so he wouldn’t need to worry about you not dressing warm and catching a cold during winter, he can be a worrywart at times, so he loves it when you dress comfortably ++ he loves your style!!!!! ALSO you’re quiet and reserved, Matssun is chill and laid back, so I would say it’s a pretty calm and laid back relationship!

Matssun would absolutely love it if you would attend his volleyball matches and support him, Oikawa has too many fangirls, he would love it if you waved at him = he would be super energised hahahaha

Yukie Shirofuku

Yukie is an amazing person tbh she’s super underrated, this queen can eat 4 onigiris at the same time yeet anyways, Yukie is a polite, mature and laid back person, she’s also great at studying and probably likes books?? Both of you can geek out together and discuss about different books ++ she also likes napping but like imagine this you reading while she naps next to you TUT so cute besides She would probably be interested in classical music if you introduced it to her, if you told her about your favourite pieces, she would add it to her usual playlist if it fits her mood  uwu also she would also be down for concerts, and would defs love it if you asked her to go with you!!! ALSO YUKIE IS A BIG PHAT FOODIE. You would go on dates to different restaurants/ cafes to eat, pig out together and watch a movie, café hopping dates, its just too cute!!! She would also make cute lunch boxes for you when you’re sad because she loves you and wants you to be happy!!

Yukie is also a very supportive person (I mean she has to deal with bokuto’s emo mood)  and would provide amazing encouragement!! I think she’d be okay with your bluntness, she’s not a sensitive person and knows how to react when you’re blunt with her!!!

Yachi Hitoka

-       Awkward mess

-       Teeny bit sensitive, but appreciates your bluntness bcs sometimes blunt is what she needs (like hinata haha)

-       Super fun to be around, would draw you

-       Artsy movie dates

-       Café dates !!!

-       Great listener, doesn’t really know what to say but will always give you a hug

-       Supportive baby, loves to hold your hand when you’re alone

Thank you for your patience !! hope you like it !!!

[adisgracetomyrace-blog]

The Haven- Part 8

Dew awoke to the sound of tweets and caws from birds, and her eyes widened at the sight of a huge, multicolored black raptor’s face only inches from hers.

“G-Gah!”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s just Finny.” Ash said, who Dew now realized was carrying her.

“Y-YOU HAVE A BIRD-” “Shh! Quiet, technically I’m not supposed to be here!” hissed Ash. “But yes, I do. This is Finnegan. I think I heard Lady Red call him a grackle. I have no idea what a grackle is but in my opinion that’s a stupid name for a bird that has shiny feathers-” she said, rubbing the avian’s neck and head as if it were a harmless creature.

“W-why’re we here....?” Dew muttered as a sparrow hopped up and tried to tug at Dew’s sleeve.

“To bust Finny outta here. Oh, and to get him used to you. But you should be fine, he’s dealt with people shorter than me before.” Ash responded, putting Dew on Finnegan’s back. “Just don’t pull too hard on his feathers.”

“W-w-w-wait you ride him, what kind of a borrower are you, we don’t ride birds!” Dew squeaked, hugging onto Finnegan’s neck as Ash brought out her huge x-acto blade and began cutting at the yarn keeping Finny tied to the walls of the area.

“Well, I am what my parents would call, a disgrace to my race. I don’t live in a cult or under the floorboards of some dumb human, I travel freely with Finny and go wherever.” Ash explained, pulling the yarn off as Finnegan trilled in delight. “And I also don’t kill people like the assholes running this place.”

With that, Ash climbed onto Finnegan, and was about to motion for Finnegan to take off before Dew said, “Wait... they’ll catch us too easy.”

“What?”

“If they see anything flying in the sky they’ll be super panicked and everyone will be out for us, but.... if we set free the rest of the sparrows and have several birds flying throughout the Haven.....”

Ash and Dew silently looked around, before Ash climbed off of Finnegan and brought out her x-acto blade.

“Don’t kill either of them- Bring them both back alive to me.” Lady Red hissed. “I want to make sure that damned little brat suffers and I will personally make sure she does!”

“Okay, but what about Ash, then?” Flicker inquired.

“Bring her to me as well, and I’ll teach her some manners or two about who’s in charge. Besides, she’s just my type, I don’t want to kill her. Just instill terror into her and abuse her a bit.” she explained casually.

It was then Clawface poked his head through the curtains. “Lady Red, please don’t be mad at me.”

“Oh I swear on all that is holy if Geoffrey’s back to complain about the Ash incident again-”

“No, no, it’s not Geoffrey. ...It’s worse.” Clawface said, before exiting as quickly as possible before Lady Red could take out her anger on him once she looks outside the window.

“What do you mean by that?” Lady Red snarled, about to follow him until she heard several bird calls from her window. “What on earth...?”

As she approached the window, Flicker took the opportunity to slink out and retreat to hide with Clawface. He was halfway down the stairs before he heard Lady Red shriek and pull her chandelier made of glass beads onto the floor in anger.

“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!” she roared, knocking several trinkets over as Flicker quickened his pace to the safety spot behind the stairs made of boxes. “GUARDS!!!”

“So, do you know a way outta here?”

“Wh- no! If I did, my parents and I would’ve escaped, alive, and unharmed ages ago! Now they’re just burnt corpses in an alleyway and-”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

The two were silent for a moment, looking down upon the city made of boxes and cans and empty guitars and other items now erupting into chaos just because of a few sparrows rampaging around town.

...Okay, they might’ve released more than a few sparrows.

Dew and Ash might’ve set about 20 sparrows free before they lost count.

“I think if we go to Lady Red’s place, we might find the exit.” Dew suddenly said.

“What? Are you insane?”

“She and her guards are probably out looking for you and dealing with sparrows, they won’t expect us there.”

“.....You might be right about that....” Ash muttered.

“Besides, if we break in, we could snoop around to find any maps and whatnot.”

“....Ugh, fine.” hissed Ash, nudging Finnegan with her right foot to cue him to fly to the right.

Once they arrived, Finnegan forced his way through the open window carved out from the wooden box Lady Red’s main office was set up in, and Ash and Dew hopped off to start tearing apart the room in search of items.

“What’re we looking for, exactly?” Ash asked, tossing out some beads and clothing.

“Some maps or blueprints.” Dew responded, scanning through Lady Red’s papers at her desk.

“Okay, uh... what do those look like?”

“..You don’t know what a map is?!” Dew gasped, peering up from the desk’s edge.

“I know how to kill a mouse in 5 different ways without hurting myself, do you think I can afford to know what a map is when I literally live outside?!”

“Ugh- listen, it has pictures on it! Pictures and words!” Dew hissed, diving back down to pull out papers.

“I have no idea what a picture is-”

“ASH!”

Suddenly, Dew heard footsteps and the sound of a curtain being drawn back. “Lady Re- OH MY GOODNESS!” a female voice exclaimed.

Dew peered up and Ash glanced over her shoulder to see a female servant staring in horror at the sight of the overweight, now wanted rebel, the dirty and pale child, both rummaging through her boss’ stuff, and an over sized black sparrow with piercing yellow eyes staring straight at her.

“G-Guards! Guards!” she cried, fleeing the room.

“Hey hey hey HEY!” Ash snarled, running after the lady and tackling her.

“....It’s probably better this way.” Dew muttered, going back to glancing at papers for maps that her mother could’ve written. Her eyes widened as she pulled back another one of Lady Red’s weird drawings of Clawface and Flicker without clothes on, and she found herself staring at the map. “Oh my gosh- O-oh my gosh! Ash! Ash!” she exclaimed, clambering onto the desk and jumping off of it.

“I found it, I found the map!” Dew said as she walked in on Ash raising the woman above her head. “I- ....What are you doing.”

“....Throw her into the water down below.” Ash responded.

“What?”

“Hey, it won’t kill her! It’s just water!”

Dew rushed over to the edge, and gasped as the lower levels were filled with rising water. “O-oh my gosh, no...! We started a flood!”

“What?”

“The lower ranking guards maintain the water levels to make sure the Haven doesn’t flood! But with the guards dealing with the sparrows and trying to find you..!”

Ash’s eyes widened as she realized the severity of the situation. “...O-Oh fuck.”

“We have to get out of here!” she exclaimed, pointing back to Finnegan in Lady Red’s office.

“Okay, okay, I’m on it!” Ash exclaimed, before throwing the servant into the water and running behind Dew.

As she did, she heard the sound of footsteps pounding behind her, and she shrieked as she saw Clawface and Flicker rushing towards her.

“Fuck!” she yelped as Clawface grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to the ground. Meanwhile, Flicker leaped over Ash to deal with Dew and Finnegan.

“C’mon, Ash, we got-” Dew broke off with a gasp as she saw Flicker enter the room, with Clawface and Ash wrestling behind him.

“Hello, little child.....” Flicker wheezed, Dew trembling and backing away into the wall. Finnegan cawed and charged at him with his talons, knocking Flicker down, but Flicker drew out a knife and began to slash into the dark colored bird. Drops of blood splattered onto the wood, and Finnegan backed away, screeching in pain with his head held down.

Dew realized what had happened once she saw the blood pooling around Finnegan’s lowered head. Flicker had gotten Finnegan in the eye.

“Oh, how it’s always little childish bastards like you who cause such a mess...” Flicker snarled, pulling out a match from his belt. “Lady Red told me to keep you alive, but honestly.... She won’t torture you enough. She’s never heard the screams of a borrower or a human burning alive as their body’s consumed by the flames...” And with that, he struck the match.

“No, no no no no no, no, please...!” Dew whimpered, backed away into a corner now.

“Let’s see where to start the fire.... How about your pretty hair?” he snarled, grabbing her and yanking her closer to him. “After all, a dirty little street child has more flammable hair than a human child.... That’d be a great place to start. It’ll spread from your hair, to your face, to the rest of your body....”

Dew was sobbing uncontrollably as Flicker lowered the match closer and closer to her, feeling the heat of the gently bobbing flame increase. Then, suddenly, she heard the sound of talons clicking on wood behind her, and Flicker cried out in pain as Finnegan charged beak-first into him.

Flicker released his grip, and Dew pulled back, noticing he had dropped the match and the fire was starting in the corner Dew had previously been in. The fire, like a snake, slowly began to spread and slither about the walls and objects of the room. Dew, bathed in the flame’s glorious light, crawled away from it, and stared in concern as Finnegan remained by the fire, still bleeding heavily from his right eye. Until she noticed Finnegan had his foot pinned down on Flicker, refusing to let him up.

He was waiting for him to be consumed by the fire.

The air was filled with blood curdling screams as the flames reached Flicker’s body, and Finnegan backed away, knocking a rather heavy box onto Flicker to keep him held down. With that, he turned to look at Dew with his left eye, and ushered her out of the room, nudging the trembling child with his beak.

Once there, they had noticed Ash and Clawface still wrestling on the ground. Except Ash was on the bottom and she appeared to be holding Clawface’s knife away, which was inches from Ash’s face.

Finnegan charged forward and grabbed Clawface by the arm, ripping him off of Ash with extreme strength neither Dew nor Ash could imagine a bird could possess. Clawface was flung off of the edge, and fell onto one of the levels far down, down below not yet flooded. Ash hesitantly crawled to the edge and peered down to see if he was going to spring back up to try to kill her.

Then, the railing holding him up (composed of string, mind you) broke underneath his weight, and he fell face-down into the water with the servant still helplessly wading in the water. She tried to sit him up, until she felt his pulse, and she shrieked.

Clawface was dead.

Now, with the sounds of shrieking from down below and Flicker dying in their ears, Ash grabbed Dew and placed her on Finnegan’s back, followed by Ash. “W-we’ve got to get out of here...”

“I have the map,” Dew responded, showing Ash the now crumpled wad of paper.

“G-good.... C’mon Finny, let’s fly.” Ash whispered, stroking the grackle’s feathers. The bird approached to a balcony, and was about to take off until a guard from below shot at him, making Finnegan screech in pain again as he was hit in the wing.

“Back up, back up!” Ash hissed, as they re-entered the safety of the building. “Shit, okay okay okay, new plan, new plan, we’re just gonna... keep going up.” Ash responded, jumping off and leading Finnegan up to the higher levels, to avoid the fire, the smoke, the rising water, and the shrieks of that servant.

[ifdragonscouldtalk]

What happens when reioka and I talk

reioka: For real?! Tony's tiny, not person sized?! ifdragonscouldtalk: No XD hes person sized in the fic But it would make it funny Imagine bruce trying to find a needle small enough to get a blood sample reioka: I mean... ask a bird vet probably ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony hanging off Steve's pinky finger by his tail reioka: The idea is very adorable, if impracticle ifdragonscouldtalk: Bucky has a cat. The cat likes little tony. Tony does NOT LIKE the cat reioka: Awww. Wait like like "dinner" or like like "person!" ifdragonscouldtalk: We dont know. Tony screams when Cat gets within 3 feet. Steve keeps Cat out of the room now. reioka: Aw poor kitty lol Poor Tony "It's big! It's get sharps everywhere! EVERYTHING IS SHARP!" ifdragonscouldtalk: Bruce puts a filter in the tank. Tony doesnt like the filter. It swirls the water around and blows him away. Tony launches a war with the filter. Bruce is Not Happy. reioka: Smol Tony building tools with the rocks at the bottom of the tank, sacrificing one of his pieces of seaweed to tie them all together to fling into the filter and cause it to jam ifdragonscouldtalk: Hes smug af cuz he clearly Won until he sees Bruce's face o h s h i t reioka: Lmao does he even understand WHY he needs a filter Does he want to swim in his own excrement ifdragonscouldtalk: He lived in the ocean before reioka All he knows is before the waters were still and now they are Not He probably doesnt notice XD reioka: Lmao the waters were never still you water horse you were just too far down to notice

ifdragonscouldtalk: But ok tony getting so excited he flails around in the water and winds up tangled in seaweed He does Not Appreciate pepper taking a picture reioka: "Pepper I am suffering. This is abuse. I'm going to die here." "You are not going to die you dumb seahorse I won't let you." "*choking sound*" "...Are you crying--" Tony ducks further into the seaweed and mumbles no ifdragonscouldtalk: Bucky and steve storming in from opposite doors shouting whO MADE HIM CRY WHY "I'm not crying!" reioka: Lmao just the idea of them trying to threaten Pepper tho Like... what a death wish ifdragonscouldtalk: Im sobbing imagine some intern giving tony little barbie tools and shit and he gets so frustrated because "I know these are fake! They're plastic!" reioka: He lets go and they float to the top of the tank and he is at the bottom just glaring up at them like... "You've all betrayed me. I know they're plastic and I hate you." ifdragonscouldtalk: Im a g ine someone buying Real Seahorses and putting them in the tank and tony is so territorial and ends up actually just wrestling a bunch of them reioka: I just snorted water out my nose omg "MY tank. MINE. GET OUT." ifdragonscouldtalk: And the actual seahorses are just so curious about this Strange Seahorse They think hes just trying to bump bellies until he grabs ones snout and then theyre Angery reioka: OH NO What does an angry seahorse do [ifdragonscouldtalk sends a screenshot of seahorses fighting with their tails] ifdragonscouldtalk: Seahorses punch Tony with their tails. Tony wails. Theyre meanies. reioka: Wtf Tony you've got actual fists HIT 'EM BACK ALSO A TAIL What a whiny baby I love him ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony eventually emerges victorious They find them the next morning with the others cowering in the corner and the water very slightly pink Bruce is Not Happy reioka: Just name the entire series Bruce is Not Happy because that will probably always be his reaction to everything. ifdragonscouldtalk: Series starts Bucky -- hey yo stevie look at this weird fuckin fish i found Steve -- screams reioka: *snort* Everyone debates on whether or not he's technically a fish and he's just sitting there like "I'm a seahorse" but are you a FISH? "A seahorse." ifdragonscouldtalk: "What is your species" "Awesome" reioka: "What do you call yourselves?" "Our names? I'm Tony, in case you've forgotten." "No, I mean, as a group?" "A family? *gasp* Do you guys not have families, is that why you don't know?" An intern is crying in the background from the effort it takes not to laugh because Tony looks honestly distraught that they've never heard of a family. ifdragonscouldtalk: Oh my g od Good reioka: Finally "Tony. Tony. Are you a fish?" "I'm a seahorse." "Seahorses are fish." "Then I gotta be a fish." Bruce screams in frustration in the background. They've been at this for hours. God damn it. ifdragonscouldtalk: Shoulda just googled it Tony compliments Bruce's singing because he's a gentleman But secretly wtf sort of singing is that reioka: LMAO if the real seahorses are still in the tank, just whispering to them "Did you hear that? Do they draw mates with that? Horrifying." ifdragonscouldtalk: The seahorses just look at him Bruce screams again reioka: Bonus if Betty is there for some reason and comes to see what happened and Tony gasps. "It worked!" ifdragonscouldtalk: Im crYING Whenever pep walks in the room now tony screams reioka: Bonus points: Pepper knows why and one time she screams back and Tony ducks back under the water, covering his blushing face. God I wish I could draw Just seahorse Tony covering his face and Pepper laughing good-naturedly in the background ifdragonscouldtalk: Bucky and Steve spend the whole day trying to figure out why tony keeps blushing and why hes making a "mating hut" reioka: HAHAHA I wonder if Pepper feels bad for "leading him on" because come on, they don't--even have compatible parts, not even talking about the size difference ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony scoffs and says he knows and he was only joking and then literally just turns around and starts crying. Shes still standing there. TONY. reioka: TONY THE ENTIRE TANK IS SEE-THROUGH Aw now I feel really bad for him haha ifdragonscouldtalk: He'll be fiiiiiiine, natasha challenges pep to a fight on his behalf The fight pretty much entails nat biting and kicking peps hand with her tail, but w/e tony loves it reioka: "I will protect Tony's honor," Natasha tells everyone and then BITE BITE BITE Pepper pretends it hurts more than it does tbh Natasha beating the shit out of Pepper's hand Pepper wrapping it in bandages longer than strictly necessary because every time Natasha sees it she puffs up proudly and Tony looks pleased ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony still kisses all the band aids tho Cuz hes a whiny sweetheart reioka: Aw Natasha grudgingly tells Pepper she was a worthy opponent and Pepper glows for hours. ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony starts screaming at steve ans bucky instead reioka: One time when the humans go out for drinks Pepper gets sloppy drunk and cries and the others are like "What's wrong" and she's just like "God I just love these stupid fish so much" YEEE Are they smart enough to scream back or do they just get nervous because they think they've done something wrong ifdragonscouldtalk: Oh my God pep I bet bucky screams back just for the heck of it and steve shrieks cuz hes startled but tones takes it for a scream. Tony glows "I got /two/ human mates nat" She screams at hill just because she likes a challenge and human women are Cute reioka: Natasha is daunted but if they hurt Tony she's gonna fight 'em anyway lol Lmao does Hill scream back OH Hill doesn't scream back but Natasha's just like "aw yisssss motha fuckin challenge" Tony supports Natasha's endeavors even when he thinks she's out of her mind ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony is a Good Bro Tonys new mating house tho Its glorious Nat helps him with it Bruces like "what are you doing" and tonys like "showing off for my mates" "Who?" "Bucky and Steve. They didn't say?" Bruce is Not Happy reioka: It's a good thing Bruce doesn't have Hulk powers because I assume literally everything we've said so far would make him turn into the jolly green giant. ifdragonscouldtalk: "You guys cant fuck the seahorse. It is physically impossible to fuck the seahorse." Steve actually chokes ifdragonscouldtalk: Real question: is clint a seahorse or a human Because i can see him accidentally almost killing Tony and Nat on a weekly basis and them loving it but i can also see him convincing Tony to do stupid shit with him like rock their tank off the table Bruce comes in and screams so loudly and tony looks at clint and goes "wow he really loves you" reioka: On one hand: "You wanna try coffee?" *pours coffee directly into tank. Everyone hates him. Tony and Natasha have not stopped vibrating for hours. They could have died. "MORE COFFEE! MORE COFFEE!" they chant, banging on the glass. Everyone HATES him. On the other hand: "That box they brought in looks interesting do you think you can throw me at it." Tony puts his engineering cap on and Bruce walks in just in time to watch Clint fly out of the tank, screaming, and lands on a pizza box with a splat. ifdragonscouldtalk: Im vibrating desperately as i try not to laugh Clint: puts an entire bar of chocolate in the tank, its gone in two hours, Tony and Nat are simultaneously in immense pain and doing theur best to tear the tank apart Or Clint: challenges natasha to a fight and sends everyone running when he screams because "SHE WAS GONNA RIP MY TAIL OFF" reioka: Lmao beautiful "She wouldn't have ripped your tail off," Tony tells him soothingly as Natasha gives Tony her best wtf face and mouths "yeah I would." ifdragonscouldtalk: Either way bruce screams and tony thinks theyre mates. reioka: Tony, whispering: Bruce must really like you, he screams an awful lot. Clint, thoughtful: ...We could make it work. Natasha: I dunno he screams at a lot of people? Maybe he's not monogamous. Bruce: *notices all three of them staring intensely and is somewhat uncomfortable* ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony: maybe he's what the humans call a player! Clint and Nat: *gasp* Bruce: why tf are they glaring at me what are they planning now ifdragonscouldtalk: Imagine someone trying to explain to them that screaming =/= mating reioka: Tony: It worked for me??? In both cases??? Pepper's just not ready for children but I am and I understand that. Pepper: *spews coffee* Tony: But Bucky and Steve like me! :D Natasha: *smug* Maria likes me. *everyone turns to look at Hill* Hill: ...I have paperwork to do. ifdragonscouldtalk: Bucky and Steve nearly have a heart attack when bruce askes when they were planning to tell him about the children reioka: Steve: Tony, we... can't have children. Tony: D: you... you don't want children with me? Bucky: That's not it! We, uh... we're physically incapable of. Conceiving. With you. Tony: ...WELL. You can't help that you're barren. Steve and Bucky: *bug-eyed* Tony: Maybe I could talk to Natasha. The fry wouldn't be your biologically but it's the love that matters. Bruce finds Steve and Bucky crying later and he doesn't want to ask but he does anyway. "It's the love that matters," Steve sobs, and Bucky adds, "That's so beautiful, holy shit." ifdragonscouldtalk: Oh my g od If they did have children only one ends up having a normal name because bucky and steve are never quick enough to imprint on the fry reioka: Lmao LOL THE PREGNANCY Steve: So how many kids are we lookin' at, Bruce? Bruce: At least two dozen. Bucky: *faints* Bruce: Probably more. Steve: ...Can I afford that many children Bruce: GET OUT OF MY LAB. ifdragonscouldtalk: OH MY VGOD Pepper buys another bigger tank Clint and Nat start hissing at anyone who tries to touch tones except his mates reioka: Aw, little tiny ultrasound on Tony's belly! Bruce endures Clint and Natasha's biting with aplomb. ifdragonscouldtalk: Steve and Bucky both pass out minutes into the labor and continue to pass out every time they wake up till its over By the time they wake up the last time theyre already named - dummy, you, cutie, friday, toast, stan Nat names one Hill and Hill is her Best Niece reioka: Lmao "Why Toast" "Why not Toast? Do you not like it? Well it's too late her name is Toast." ifdragonscouldtalk: Steve and Bucky are crying. The seahorses think it's joy. Pep and Bruce are just patting their shoulders. Pepper thinks they shouldve seen it coming Clint names one Hawk just to piss ppl off reioka: Lmao Tony introducing all the fry to Steve and Bucky, "Children, these are your fathers. Steve, Bucky, this is" long list of names. They're never going to remember them all, they're terrible parents. Eventually Tony orders his children to tell them who they're speaking to because when they misbehave he wants to yell at the right one. "That's fair," the fry agree, and then start doing it for everyone except Pepper and Hill. reioka: Pepper: Isn't it... kinda cruel? Natasha: I heard a seahorse gave birth to fifty kids once. Some of them drift away because they're idiots that won't listen. One time my mom called me every name but mine. ifdragonscouldtalk: Imagine how much Trouble clint gets them into reioka: Clint: Do you think with all these seahorses we could tip the tank Tony: Do not tip the tank. Clint: I bet we could. Natasha: Do NOT Fry: *cheerfully* TIP THE TANK! TIP THE TANK! Tony: STEEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE CATCH THE TAAAAAAAAAAANK ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony and Natasha actually screeching Bucky and Steve catch the tank but tony is sobbing and panicking because his cHILDREN ARE GOING TO DIE LIKE IDIOTS reioka: Steve: *angry* DON'T DO THAT TO YOUR MOTHER. Bucky: Steve, you shouldn't yell at the kids. CLINT YOU LITTLE SHIT. Tony: *sobbing, gathering the fry to him frantically* Fry: *feel terrible* ifdragonscouldtalk: Imagine them all going to the beach and all of them are hanging off Buckys hair and Steve is makin sure none of them drift away Tony is actually screeching in joy because a c t u a l s a n d Toast would prefer to be near Steve so she hangs on to his drawstring of his swimsuit Nat teaches Hill how to train and ride hermit crabs reioka: Tony: *cries* Look at my beautiful family. Bucky: Aw, doll. :) You don't have to-- Tony: MY FAMILY KICKS EVERY OTHER FAMILY'S ASS. Bucky: ...Doll. Steve: *laughs, chokes on sea water* ifdragonscouldtalk: Clint.... Challenges a blue crab,, to a fight Bruce has to save him reioka: Okay so hear me out -- Bruce and Betty are together but Clint just kind of gets inserted into their relationship because "I'm pretty sure he's lowkey trying to die" Bruce says and then Betty has a baby and Clint was like "Holy shit this thing is huge. I love her. She's mine now." Betty's amused. Bruce just sighs. ifdragonscouldtalk: G O O D Clint trying to get the baby to challege a crab to a fight reioka: Baby sitting on it and crushing it with her diaper. Clint: ...That works. Bruce: Stop trying to get our child to fight everything bigger than you, Clint! Clint: *starts crying* Bruce: Oh God what did I do Betty: *snorting, trying to get the crab to let go of the baby's diaper* You called her 'our' baby and he's included in the 'our' and he's happy you idiot. Bruce: Oh ifdragonscouldtalk: Natasha rides past on a hermit crab and clint starts blabbering to her and shes just like yeah? Can YOUR kid race hermit crabs Clint looks at Bruce and Betty. Bruce: No, our kid cannot- Betty: if you can find one big enough Bruce: BeTTY reioka: Betty: Oh my God Bruce he's never going to find a crab big enough. Bruce: I don't believe that. I believe he could find one. He regularly gets himself thrown out of the tank to steal my pizza. Betty: He's so tiny how much could he eat? Bruce: *stony silence* Betty: D: ifdragonscouldtalk: Ok but Bucky with seahorses just hanging onto his hair. Theyre everywhere. He looks like a seahorse tree. reioka: Pepper takes lots of pictures. Bucky loves them. He'd thought about cutting his hair at one point but now that he has become the seahorse tree he vows to only have it trimmed. ifdragonscouldtalk: A horseshoe crab scares one of the kids and Tony's just like im gONNA FITE IT and Steve is like nO reioka: Tony manages to knock it upside down but it's so distressed by it that he gets Steve to turn it back over and it scuttles away in the opposite direction ifdragonscouldtalk: Ok but also Clint and Tony and Natasha forcing pep to help them set up a 'human date' for Nat and Hill because yes reioka: Clint and Tony vibrating when they see Hill coming back with Natasha, ready to interrogate her on whether the date went well, but then Hill leans down and presses a kiss to Natasha's cheek (Well, her entire side of her head, but they intention is still there) and they squeal and then slap at each other to shut up because NATASHA IS BLUSHING OH MY KRILL ifdragonscouldtalk: G O O D Natasha is smug like "She's definitely my mate. She just hasn't done the ritual yet." Hill going to Coulson like "a fish is courting me" reioka: Coulson: Stranger things have happened. Hill: Not to ME ifdragonscouldtalk: Wwheezesx justin hammer,,, stealing them reioka: NOOOOO Can you imagine Tony, Natasha, and Clint trying to protect all the fry Trying so hard, but they all get taken anyway, and they know they couldn't really do anything against a human but they feel like they SHOULD HAVE ifdragonscouldtalk: Can you imagine,, tony breaking down,,, and justin trying to get them to breed. Cuz m e r m a i ds. And tony just telling him that if he touched the kids his mates would kill him reioka: Justin would probably curse himself for missing two seahorses But NAY TWO SUPER SOLDIERS ifdragonscouldtalk: ScReech can u imagine justin putting a little glowy tracking device in tonys chest reioka: Honestly I'm just imagining them all being so scared that their tails clutch at each other until they're just a big ball of trembling, teary seahorses WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT I love it ifdragonscouldtalk: When they finally do come it's actually Maria who gets there first and she scoops up hill and nat and holds them desperately Just nuzzling them Bruce finds clint actually sobbing Steve and bucky beat justin mostly dead reioka: GOOD He deserves it ifdragonscouldtalk: Tony clings to steves fingers and cries while bucky gets the kids reioka: Steve presses desperate kisses all over Tony's body but his lips glance over whether the tracker is and Tony wails in pain and Steve is horrified because oh God what did Hammer DO Bruce physically stops Steve from walking over and crushing Hammer's skull under his boot because he needs to know everything Hammer did