#also doesn't help when my other fandoms are all quiet/on hiatus currently so there's no escape lol

[jakeperalta]

I literally think being in the taylor fandom is making me a worse person like I am so not a hater at heart and yet I just get so irritated by the fandom that it makes me feel like the most negative bitter person :/

[bellaxgiornata]

As is no surprise, this was a long winded answer to your questions so I'm just going to put everything below the cut!!

It's totally normal to be critical about your writing, honestly. I've also always been told that's a good thing, too, because you're able to recognize where you can make improvements and grow the more you practice with your writing because you can point out "problem areas." I don't think I've ever written a fic where I don't nitpick a word choice or the way a sentence is structured or what feels like a bad transition to me. That's actually why I hate editing--because I hate rereading my own words over and over and struggling to make it sound better😆 Many times I feel like things don't flow when I write, too. But that's the beauty of drafts, you can just get whatever you can written out and come back and edit it later. Sometimes you might need to scrap an entire section, which is painful because it feels like you wasted time, but it's sometimes the right thing to do.

As for imposter syndrome...I don't think that ever goes away. I always feel it, I know other fic writers that feel it, and I've heard professional published writers say they feel it. I think it's just part of creating art (or just being human). But seeing people genuinely enjoy your work is what helps to quiet that part of your brain so you can keep doing it! But don't worry, I still feel it all the time so you wouldn't be alone!

As for writing as a married mom....I've definitely had less and less time lately 😅 As for where I write, I currently have an office that is quickly becoming a nursery and then my PC will soon be in my husband's office and we'll have to share. So then I either use a laptop or my phone (I write a lot on my phone) or a tablet with a keyboard for some peace and quiet wherever I can get it.

As for time, I'm a stay at home mom, so I used to get some morning time and time when my son napped every afternoon basically guaranteed to write. Then some evenings during the week I occasionally wrote before bed if a scene was stuck in my head. But I think around last August my son dropped naps completely and that significantly cut back my free time. Becoming pregnant has also made me way too tired to write in the evenings before bed so I don't do that either now. And obviously I'm having a baby in just over a month at this point, which is going to put me on a writing hiatus for a little bit (hence me stockpiling rough drafts right now so I can hopefully still release things here and there), but my toddler will be starting preschool at the end of August and going Mon-Fri for two and a half hours which I'm hoping will give me free time to occasionally write again...assuming I don't have a colicky baby or one who refuses to ever nap 😅😅😅 Then eventually my son will be in school full time the following year and it'll just be me and a 1 year old at home during the day who will hopefully nap and give me that weekday free time back.

I'm also fortunate that my parents and my husband's parents are all retired and live like five minutes from us so we can get outside help with childcare. My MIL is amazing and always takes my son Fridays and Sundays for most of the day. Which lets the husband and I get things done around the house or have date days or focus on our hobbies. I'm aware that we're very, very fortunate for that because it's not common for parents to get that kind of free time. But my MIL is amazing and she's great with my son who we've thought had ADHD for a long time now (he's too young to officially diagnose) and may have sensory processing issues that we've been spending a lot of time working on him with and taking him to multiple therapists for over the past few months--so fanfic is my mental escape from a lot of stress while he has fun with grandma.

My husband knows I write fanfic and he knows what fandoms I write in and that I like romance, but he doesn't specifically know I write smut for y'all 😆 Though, in all honesty, I know he wouldn't give two shits that I do (and I wouldn't be surprised if he already figured as much). He'd probably be encouraging me to let him read it if anything, but I'm just too bashful to be like 'hey, here's some porn I wrote babe' 🤣 He's always been very supportive of my writing though. In your situation, it's totally up to you how you approach that if you want to write smut! I personally see nothing wrong with it, it's no different than writing a published erotica novel you'd find at a bookstore. Even a fictionalized romance character you make up in your mind for an original story is probably fashioned after some real life celebrity or something in your head anyway. But that's just my take and my hubs and I are very comfortable in our relationship, so my little fictional slutty men wouldn't bother him 😆 But also, your husband doesn't need to read your fanfic either, right? You could be writing any type of fanfic, honestly.

Do you have any tips for people who really enjoy writing fanfiction but struggle to actually get themselves to write it? Like I love writing specific scenarios in my head (mainly because that’s what I really want to read but no one else has written that yet) but I struggle to actually just get the motivation to do it, so my ideas just stay in my brain as a “I want to write this” and then the interest dies off and it never gets written.

I completely understand this feeling so much. Before I started writing in the Daredevil fandom I often just daydreamed in-depth scenarios in my head. I usually wanted to write them into stories but then I just...never did it. Even though I have been writing different fanfics in different fandoms for a really long time, I more often than not just created up scenarios that lived in my head and then that was it because I never wrote them down. So nothing ever came of them and I was never able to share them with anyone. I could have written so many more things if I'd just sat down and tried.

(As always, I'm long winded so more below the cut 😅)

In all honesty when this happens, I think the best thing to do is just that. Just sit down in front of a blank document and free write whatever comes to you. Take the pressure off of yourself first and foremost, though--you don't have to share whatever comes out with anyone. Don't tell yourself that it has to be good, either. Have literally zero expectations for whatever ends up on the page. More often than not, that really helps the words start to flow. When you sit there and nitpick how you're starting a sentence or a scene or a word choice, that's when you start second guessing everything and that can often lead to thoughts like "I can't do this" or "no one will read this" or the classic "I suck at this" (which I still hear in my head some days). Ignore all that bullshit and just focus on whatever it is that's in your head--a conversation between some characters, maybe an entire scene you've had playing out in your mind, a fight scene, or whatever it is that you're currently excited about. Just sit down and try to get it out with no expectations. Because you can absolutely always come back to it and edit it up how you want after the fact and make it into a story or a one shot or whatever if you want, but the hardest part is just getting something out on a page.

But truthfully, the only way to write something is to make yourself sit down and do it. I don't know of any other tips to give besides that. Sure, you can make a playlist or a mood board for the vibe of a story or a character. You can make outlines of what you're seeing in your head that'll give you bullet points of what you picture happening. But really you just have to get excited enough about whatever it is that's on your mind and write it. And I think that's part of the beauty of writing fanfic when you do share it and people interact with it. The commentary and interaction from readers is what helps keep the excitement for a story alive for the writer, which then gives us that necessary motivation to keep coming back to work on a story. Because any writer will tell you that sitting down and getting the words out is hard. Some days it sucks and you have to slog through it to keep going, but that's just a part of the process. Over time it becomes a habit, though.

Hopefully any of that somewhat helped, but unfortunately there isn't some magic answer to make it easier to get started. Having other writers to talk to about your ideas really helps, too. Or just someone to talk with/at about whatever is on your mind. Breaking an entire fic idea into chunks chapter by chapter helps if you're making a big story, but just picking a starting point and writing it is your best bet. I actually first wrote the entirety of Marci and Fog's wedding for FFTD and then worked my way backwards afterwards to start that huge ass series. It all started with those two installments and the idea/scene in my head that I didn't get to until "The Breaking Point" far later. So you can absolutely just start with an idea and expand on it. But unfortunately, you kind of just have to force yourself to start somewhere 😅