#also do u have a hickey bc i swear it looked like it in another snap
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safetycar-restart · 2 years ago
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LAST ASK I SWEAR but lando sitting on your lap ☺️ he would be afraid at first be he thinks he's heavy but when u comfort him and bring him to your lap he can't help but make it his favorite place to sit down anytime anywhere and every place tbh, it get to the point when u don't need 2 chairs anymore. with him on your lap u get the perfect opportunity to kiss his neck and feel his thighs, not only that but also holding him down as he squirms as u do all of that but what I'm thinking actually is making him ride u in this position as you're fucking in front of a mirror so he can see how good he looks when he's fucked out and you're making love, he feels like it's such a dirty thing and he does feel dirty and naughty and he loves it so much he wants to be in the moment forever, he can see your strap barely leaving his ass as he rides u but also he can see you leaving big hickies on his neck and also your hand sneaking around his torso to play with his nipples with your other hand feels up the slight bulge on his stomach and he can also see the saliva dripping down his open mouth as he fails to mutter any actual words, just fragments and broken noises and he's basically out of himself tbh he's feeling so good feeling so nice it feels like such an intimate moment he puts his hand on yours that's feeling the bulge and holds your hand he sees u leaving tiny kisses around his ear and jaw, saying "you're doing so well u can cum anytime u want baby" and that's it for him, he releases as he stills in your lap and relaxes against your chest after he's done and he's trying to breath normally again, you're still leaving tiny kisses on his jaw and holding on to his hand and he can't help but feel so happy he has u. u guys stay in that position for a while bc he loves the intimacy the position brings out even with the activities 2 were doing previously on the same spot, he also loves feeling u inside of him outside of the sexy hours tbh but that's something for another day just like how he also loves when he's wearing panties and u bend him over to fuck him and you don't take them out and instead just push them to the side and then when you're done u snap the panties back into place against his oversensitive hole 😁
(This one is a bit hectic cuz I was a bit drunk when I wrote it but cba to fix it sorry )
-🌸
Oh god I love this so much. There's so much to unpack here and all of it is so fucking good I love it.
So firstly, Lando sitting on your lap? Incredible.
Personally I think Lando would ADORE dating someone who is a little taller than him? That way it's so easy to just curl in your lap. He sits in positions that you can't imagine are comfortable, one leg curled up and the other over your hip or his legs crossed so weirdly. You have no idea how he manages to curl himself up in all these odd positions, but he loves it. As long as he's on your lap, he's happy.
(He's a cat. You have a cat for a boyfriend.)
If you're around others, then you just let Lando curl up however he wants to, holding him so that he doesn't fall off. But if you're alone with him? Then your hands are groping him, sliding under his shirt, cupping his dick, twisting his nipples. And he always gets so hard so quickly from that, squirming and whining in your lap.
So making him ride you like that is perfect. He loves it so fucking much. AND with a mirror? Poor lando's mind would be melting.
His job is to ride your strap and watch himself in the mirror. But you're doing everything to make his job so much harder. You stroke his cock and twist his nipples and suck hickeys into his neck.
Every time he gets a steady rhythm, you squeeze his cock until his thighs start shaking and he can't continue bouncing. And watching himself in the mirror just makes it so much worse.
I also think Lando loves to be called slutty? He loves when you call him out for it, when you make him repeat your works back to him, make him tell you that he's a little slut, that he can't stop bouncing on your strap, that he always wants to be full.
Eventually thighs give in and you have to hold out your hands for him to use as leverage. There's a moment of calm in his horny haze, holding onto your hands and trying to catch his breath, watching what a pretty picture you two make in the mirror.
You were going to push him even longer, but he looks so good like that, his cock bright red and leaking. You just have to give him permission then.
He moans when you say the words, finding the energy to bounce a little more because he needs to cum now. He's so desperate.
Lando likes to keep the strap inside of him for a little bit after he cums, doesn't like to feel empty while he comes down from his high, so after he cums he just settles further into your lap, leaning back into your chest.
You press soft kisses to his neck and cheeks, praising him for doing so well and reassuring him that you're very happy with him.
And then he'll want a little plug once you've cleaned him up.
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fishfarmfrankie · 4 years ago
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Where the mha boys leave their hickeys/lovebites on you
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Warnings: kinda spicy, implied nsfw, also swearing I swear a lot.
Boys: Todoroki, Midoriya, Bakugou, Kirishima, Denki, Sero, Shinso
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Todoroki Shoto
-cutie lil baby he’s down for anything if its with you ❤
- But Shoto is an inexperienced boy and has no idea what he should be doing, so you’d have to be the one to prompt him into giving you hickeys.
-He gives them to you on your chest like the cutie he is. 
-He choses that area because he understands the importance of hiding hickeys and how they can be embarrassing. 
-Even though he doesn’t really understand why.
-That’s why if people did see them on you, he wouldn’t even flinch.
-He would not be embarrassed at all and just pin all the blame on you, causing you to be embarrassed instead.
-”Y/n are those hickeys on your chest?”
Todoroki- “Y/n asked for it, so I gave them some.” 
-He would just fuckin shrug as he says that, continuing to slurp on his soba.
-CEO of not giving a shit
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Midoriya Izuku
-baby
-very shy uwu
-doesn’t know how to do it at first so his dumbass would probably like do his first one on your fuckin wrist lmao
-people would think you did it yourself, when you say it was izuku fuckin no one believes you
“Y/n what happened to you wrist? It looks bruised.”
Y/n- “Oh it’s actually a hickey Izuku gave me.”
everyone in a two metre vicinity- “😐”
Y/n- “I’m serious!”
“Yeah right. It’s on your wrist you obviously gave it to yourself. deku is too innocent to do something like that, right deku?”
Izuku- *Dying of embarrassment*
Y/n- “GUYS I’M NOT LYING FFS HE’S A KINKY LIL SHIT I SWEAR TO GO-”
-after he gets more comfortable he’ll probably move to doing them on your collar bone :)
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Bakugou Katsuki
-whore. 
-He just leaves them every-fuckin-where
-mans doesn’t leave hickeys highkey just fuckin takes a bite out of you. 
-he feral but wbk💃✨
-you better be a masochist because he is not gentle in the slightest
-he mostly leaves bites on either the back of your neck, shoulders or all over your legs.
-Not even on your upper legs like he will just fuckin bite your calves while doing ✨it✨ like bruh he ain’t subtle at all.
-people are too scared to bring up the marks in front of him because he will just go off
-”H-hey Y/n, what’s that on your-”
Bakubabe- “WEAK ASS FUCKSTICK EXTRA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKIN’ AT?!? I’LL BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA YOU IF YOU DARE STARE IN THEIR DIRECTION YOU GOT THAT?!”
-”s-sorry T-T”
-and trust me that shit stays there for weeks. Yet no one will say a single fuckin word ever.
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Kirishima Ejirou
-sweetie pie, but similarly to Katsuki, Kiri bites.
- He is really self conscious of his teeth and usually tries to avoid even grazing you with them but he’s a passionate lover so once he’s riled up he’s absent mindedly biting you all over.
-mostly your inner thighs. Kirishima is a thigh guy.
-no one really notices the marks unless you wear short shorts, even then they’re pretty well hidden.
-If someone did point it out you bet Kirishima would feel embarrassed as hell.
-Not really for himself but more for you. Like he’s very much a gentleman and is the type to feel guilty for making people sexualise you or even think about you in a sexual context, knowing that it would be partly his fault.
-He’d probably just tell whoever it was that pointed it out to just drop it.
“U-uhm, Y/n, are t-those teeth marks on your inner thigh?”
Y/n- “Uhhhhhhhhhyeah?”
“W-wha-”
Kirishima- “Hey man don’t worry about. Let’s just get some lunch I was thinking-”
-Thanks for the save bb kiri is as dependable as ever 😌
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Denki Kaminari
-he’s a cumslut whore. I do not take criticisms on that.
-Denki is sexual down to his core. But his favourite thing would be going down on you.
-mostly a tits/nips kinda guy, but he loves ass a whole lot too.
-Two words, Ass bites.
-Fuckin bite marks, hickeys, general bruises all on your fuckin ass. Literally on your  a s s.
-I apologize to anyone who wears booty shorts a lot bc sweetie you’re going to get an ear-full from everyone when they see how ravaged your ass is.
-But Denki being the asswipe that he is will actively go out of his way to show everyone and anyone what he did to your ass.
- He’s like “Yeah, we’re freaky like that. Do that on the daily. Bet you virgins could never evenAHHH-”
-That’s when you knock him out.
-I know it doesn’t seem like it but I like Denki I swear
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Sero Hanta
-Also a gentleman (to an extent😜)
-He’s a romantic, is always spending time with you and is so grateful you’re in his life :,)
-Therefore- Stomach hickeys.
-Not really on your stomach but like near and around your V-line/hips. In that general area.
-Mans just wants you to feel good in your body, praise kink 110%. 
-It is very rare people will find these hickeys unless you’re wearing a super lowcut pair of pants.
- They’ll just stop and be like 😳
Y/n- “ What?”
Sero- “Uhm, baby our love sessions are showing.”
Y/n- “😶our wha- 👀. 😳😳😳😳😳😳”
-awkward silence but you two kinda just laugh it off while everyone else is hella surprised the two of you would partake in such- acts of affection.
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Shinso Hitoshi
-freaky.
-anyway. Neck kisses. 
-Except they’re not kisses they’re bites
-He likes to be in control and the easiest and most accessible way for him to get you heated is on the ticklish spot of your neck.
-Another thing about him is he kind of likes showing off those neckbites, like he is no where near like Denki where he actively brags but he is not shy to force you to tie you hair up so everyone can see them. 
-or he’ll just randomly trace his fingers along the indents of his teeth marks at random points in time.
-He takes pride in that shit bro that’s a huge ego boost.
-someone points that out? Shinso holds a shit eating grin.
“Um, Y/n, It looks like there’s something on your neck.”
-Shinso won’t even say anything he’ll just stare, grinning at you expectantly. Waiting to hear what excuse you’ll come up with now.
“Oh yeah, that’s just- training. We were doing training and-”
Shinso- “Oh? So I’m just training to you now?”
-Yeah Shinso would love making you as embarrassed as he possibly could.
-That purple minion lookin’ ass fuckface
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ginnyweasely · 4 years ago
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SUCK PT.2 [DRACO X READER]
pairing: draco malfoy x reader (fem!)
warnings: swearing, smut!!!!!!, nsfw stuff, SMUTTY SMUT!!, degrading kink!!!!!!, if u squint your eyes enough a choking kink, kinky sht overall!!!, also aftercare if you squint ur eyes enough
summary: reader gets bored in class and decides to have some fun with her boyfriend draco by teasing him
word count: 1.2k+
PART 1 HERE!
A/N: ok so i didn’t proofread this bc i dont proofread smut omg so if there are any mistakes pls spare me!! also tbh u don’t have to read pt.1 of this but if you’re in the need for some smut go for it!! this is pretty straightforward omg hope yall enjoy!! btw that picture is the reason why I AM THE WAY I AM IT RUINED ME PLS I AM A H*LE
MASTERLIST /  SEND REQUEST/ASKS HERE  /  TAGLIST 
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You slowly got up as you slowly did your blouse, Draco was watching you still hungrily, 
“What are you doing, princess?” He asked softly as your attention shifted from the blouse to Draco, looking at him confused.
“You’re so good, princess, so pretty...” He murmured softly as he got closer to you, causing a bright color of red to rise to your cheeks.
“But you didn’t think I was done with you now, princess, did you?” Your breath caught up in your throat at his words, as you could almost feel yourself throbbing as Draco smirked, hungrily attacking your lips again, as he was now determined to make you cum.
You didn’t have any time to respond as Draco’s hands slipped into your panties under your skirt, rubbing over it softly, a simple whimper escaped your lips just as he did so, as Draco smirked into the kiss.
He broke the kiss abruptly as you stood there in shock, watching him as he quickly slid down your panties, getting rid of them quickly, his hands dropped down to your pussy, now rubbing it softly, drawing slow circles, as another moan escaped your lips.
Draco looked up at you, you were almost falling apart with just his finger tracing over your pussy, “Draco.. someone.. could hear...” You managed to get out between your whimpers as Draco groaned, letting go of the touch as a frustrated sigh escaped your lips, trying to comprehend why he had stopped.
Draco quickly grabbed his wand, “Muffliato!” He casted a silencing curse to the bathroom and as soon as he successfully casted the spell, he dropped his wand and immediately went by your side, pinning you against the wall harshly once again as a soft gasp escaped your lips.
Draco’s hands trailed over to your pussy again, rubbing it more in a way of teasing you, as whimpers left your mouth once again, he slowly slid a finger inside of you as a low groan escaped his mouth, “So fucking wet, Princess...” He murmured, “All for me?” He asked lowly as his eyes bored into yours.
You nodded in between your moans as his mouth immediately trailed to your neck, placing sloppy kisses, “Use your words, slut.” He demanded harshly as another finger slid inside of you making you whimper louder, “Y... yes... all for you.. Draco...” You tried to form a sentence between your moans, but it seemed to be enough for Draco.
His hands were slipping in and out of you quickly, and you were so desperate that your soft whimpers had turned into moans and Draco knew if he kept going you would cum all over his fingers, so he slid his fingers out abruptly, as your moans stopped immediately, you cried at the loss of touch as you looked up at him dumbfounded.
“I was just about to-“ You tried to protest but once again Draco’s harsh lips met yours, shutting you up immediately, his tongue swirled inside your mouth, making you wet all over again.
“Good girls, get to cum, Y/N...” He replied harshly as his hands slowly found their way over to your neck, squeezing it ever so to your liking, “And you have been a filthy little slut...” He tutted as his hands squeezed your neck harder, and you could feel your thighs dampening, “Do you want my cock, slut?” He nearly hissed against your face as you nodded eagerly.
“Yes, Draco... please... I want your cock inside me...” You replied eagerly as a smirk curled up in Draco’s face.
“Since you asked so politely...” He replied slowly  and his hands slowly travelled along your legs, grabbing onto them as one of his hands cupped your arse harshly, a low whimper came again from your mouth as he slapped your arse roughly.
Without a warning, he thrusted his now hardened cock inside of you, filling you up nicely. You let out another loud moan at the feeling as your hands immediately went to Draco’s back, your fingernails dugging into his skin. 
Your eyes squeezed shut as he was still trying to adjust his length into your pussy, “You’re so fucking tight, Princess...” He groaned as he could feel you clench around him.
“You want me to fuck you, slut?” He asked once again as he stood still inside of you, you bit your lip slowly as you nodded, your eyes still squeezed shut from the pleasure, “Yes.. please.. please Draco... fuck me.. fuck me-“ Your words were interrupted with a moan as Draco thrusted further into you, you let out a guttural moan.
His length was slowly slipping in and out of you as the room was filled with both of your throaty groans, Draco’s hair laid messily on his forehead as his eyes were watching over you, “Look at me.” He demanded roughly as you obliged, staring into his eyes as pretty little moans escaped your lips still.
“So gorgeous...” He murmured as his movements were becoming quicker and more rough as his head slowly draped down towards her neck in pleasure, you were crying out in pleasure, “Fuck...” You cursed as Draco started to place sloppy kisses onto her neck once again, this time he sucked into your skin in order to leave hickeys, as more pleasured moans escaped from your now red lips. 
“You’re so fucking good, princess...” Draco growled as he regained his pace, thrusting in deeper, “Such a slut for me, aren’t you?” He hissed against your ear, his hot breath against your skin was sending shivers down your spine as he was filling you up. 
“Draco.. I’m going to cum...” You cried out barely between your throaty moans as your nails were dugging deep into Draco’s back as Draco thrusted his length into you harder and deeper this time.
“Cum for me, Y/N! Cum all over my cock, coat my cock with your cum, you filthy little slut.” He hissed against your ear again as your pussy was throbbing, your orgasm was pulsating inside of you. 
You let out another guttural moan as your walls clenched and your legs shuddered around him, as you finally released and your eyes squeezed shut at the feeling, this had sent Draco over the edge as he felt you clench deep inside of him, and with few more thrusts he came straight after you. 
Draco cried out euphorically as you could feel a warmness fill you up inside, Draco’s jet of hot cum squirted deep inside of your pussy, over and over ejaculating explosively inside of you as the feeling made you whine out for the last time. 
He pulled out slowly after a while as he put you down gently, a smile playing onto his face as he slowly started to dress himself, and tossed your panties over to you. 
“How was that?” He asked cockily as you both were getting dressed as a giggle escaped your lips, “Amazing.” You let out softly as you were still trying to even your breathing. 
“You okay?” He asked a bit worried as you  raised your eyebrows confusedly, “Yeah, why?” You answered simply as Draco just shrugged his shoulders. 
“I thought maybe that was like over the top or something...” He murmured as you shook your head quickly, “No! It was just what I wanted! Perfect!” You reassured him quickly as his worries washed away with a smile, and you gave him a quick peck on his lips. 
“Come on, let’s get you to bed, you must be tired.” Draco slowly murmured smirking as you both had finished dressing up, he wrapped his arms securely around your waist as he placed a soft kiss on your forehead, helping you walk to the dorms slowly.
taglist: @dracosathenaeum  @fuckingdraco  @dreaming-about-fanfictions  @slytherinwh0re @sincerelymalfoy @mischiefisbeingmanaged @minsuuwu @capkatie  @beiahadid​  @dracosbaibe​ @cherie-draco​
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soulwillower · 4 years ago
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pleaser • eddie kaspbrak
(punk!eddie kaspbrak x reader smut)  
[title is from pleaser by wallows]
requested: hii i hope u did gr8 on ur finals! can i request an eddie smut where he takes control bc he got jealous of something that richie said about the reader? thank you!    +     punk eddie smut?? maybe jealous?    +    can you write a smumt fic where richie teases the reader and punk eddie gets insecure/jealous abt it? 
warnings: swearing, smut, PUNK EDDIE my fav!!!,  kinda dom eddie, hes soft tho ofc, a teensy bit of dirty talking, jealous eddie, a little possessive ig, unedited as fuck!
[losers + reader are 18+.]
these requests are SO OLD IM SO SORRY UGH, also not sure how i feel abt the smut part so i may do some edits later
2.4k words
"eddie, can you please get me some water?" you call loudly into the kitchen. the losers were all at richie's house for a movie night, piled on the couch and floor with blankets, you sitting and waiting for your boyfriend to come reclaim his spot next to you. it was a nice tradition that you all held, it made you guys comfortable to have that kind of routine stability in your hectic lives.
"you like bossing your boy around, huh? doesn't ever get tiring, y/n?" richie asks, making you roll your eyes lightly. 
"he takes care of me." you mutter with a shrug, still engrossed with what mike was doing with rubber bands, flipping them up and catching them. it's cold in the basement room, making you shiver beneath eddie's navy blue sweater that you'd borrowed.
richie chuckles a bit and you send him a look - his eyes are joking but you still squint as he opens his mouth again. "well i could take real good care of you, y/n." he winks at you. 
you lift a brow, "whatever, rich."
"just saying," richie jests even further, "if you need someone to... y’know, take control, i got you."
"beep beep, richie." stan mutters as you flip him off. he holds his hands up in surrender as he, ben, mike and stan chuckle, richie turning his attention to mike’s rubber bands. you and bev share a look as you roll your eyes with a smile, knowing that richie was completely joking.
as they come back in, bill hands you the glass of water that you'd asked for as he and eddie spread out the snacks. afterwards, eddie sits down next to you, huffing lightly and making you look at him. he smiles at you toothlessly, pushing his bleached hair back as his rings glint in the light of the tv.
you notice that his smile looks fake, but when you ask him what's wrong he just shakes his head, telling you to leave it. you frown, a hollow feeling in your chest for the rest of the movie, even as eddie's hand, complete with rings and chipped nail polish - falls gently on your thigh.
after, you’re giving eddie a ride home. it's slightly tense over the music that plays through your stereo, eddie staring out the window with scuffed vans kicked up on your dash. 
you're itching to ask him what's wrong, but every time you try to bring it up, you look at his furrowed brows as he stares out the window and hums along to heaven knows im miserable now and you chicken out.
so instead, as  you near the turn that you’d make to eddie’s, you clear your throat. "eddie, do you- do you want to come back to mine?" you ask him, giving him your best innocent grin. he just shrugs, barely looking over before nodding in a reserved manner. "sure."
you have an almost sick feeling in your stomach because of course eddie’s mad at what richie had said earlier - who wouldn’t be? and it’s not like you outright just told richie to stop. you weren’t sure if he’d heard earlier, but you’re pretty sure now.
you get eddie into your house and up to your room quickly, slipping past your sleeping family. 
you sigh as you shut your door and barely flip on the lamp near your bed before he kisses you heatedly, taking you aback slightly. 
"eager, are we?" you say breathlessly as you slide onto your normal spot on his lap, kissing him deeply. he kisses you harshly after your words, his hands pawing at your hips. your hands roam around him, gripping the collars of his striped shirt, toying with the chains that hung above the buttons.
his hands fall to your hips and as you pull away, he's biting his lip. "alright. what's going on, eddie?" you ask softly, recognizing his conflicted look as you set your hands on his rosy cheeks. 
he peers up at you with doe eyes and you softly brush a few way blonde strands from his forehead. "nothing, but-" he shuts his mouth, looking frustrated, dark brows furrowed. you wait patiently for him, but you don't stop from moving your hips slightly against his groin to feel him against you. his hand falls to grip your hip and you look to him again as he squeezes your hips.
"richie was being a dick." eddie says, staring up at you with a small blush. your eyebrows raise in shock. "which time?" you ask sarcastically and when he doesn't laugh with you, you tilt your head.
"he said i can't please you." he states and the air becomes thick with tension. you start, “well that’s definitely not how richie phrased it, eddie, of course he wasn-"
eddie shakes his head, cutting off what you were going to say, "you're not his. he doesn't get to say that shit. i can take control sometimes." he says stubbornly. you nod. "yeah, eddie, but you don't have to if you don't want to-"
"let me. let me make you feel good." he mutters then, looking pissed as his hands stay splayed around your thighs and it’s more hot than you think it should be. you let out a shuddering breath as you nod, "okay, baby."
he then nudges you back onto the mattress and pressing against you, eliciting a small gasp from you. your hands immediately card through his hair as he kisses you hotly again, sliding between your hips and slotting his against yours.
and then he grinds down on you, rolling his hips and making you shudder, the feeling of his hard cock pressing on your core making you sigh with need. he's never been this dominant before and you get butterflies as he presses against you again. he's kissing your neck softly, occasionally nipping and sucking on your soft skin and making you gasp in pleasure as he grinds down more solidly.
"fuck," you can't help but whimper, "eddie, that feels so good." his face turns red but there's a smirk on his lips as he thrusts forward again, mouthing down your chest before peeling off your top.
he sits up, taking his own long sleeve off and you can't help but stare, his pale bare skin almost making you blush. you watch closely as his fingers trail over your bra delicately and move to your back, undoing the clasp and watching with lust hidden eyes as the material falls from your skin. the cold air of your room hits you and goose bumps cover your bare skin, making eddie groan.
“fuck, baby. you’re so pretty.” he says, licking his lips. you sigh almost silently, feeling wetness pool in your underwear from the way he looks and his words. you need him so bad. 
you look at him staring down at your body, puffy lips parted in bliss and eyes lidded in lust, silver chains dangling from his neck against his pale skin, his collarbones splattered with a few fading hickeys from when eddie'd brought you to the skate park with him the other night and you'd made out in his car. he's so perfect that the sight alone makes all the breath leaves your lungs.
then he's leaning down slowly, catching one of your nipples between his lips and flattening his tongue before flicking it lightly, his fingers pinching your other one softly. 
you whimper at the feeling and you can't help the gasp that leaves your mouth as eddie's hand then sneaks down, fingers rubbing against your folds through your pants. "please, eddie." you beg, bucking up into his hand and making him pull off of your chest with a smirk.
he says nothing as he drags your pants and underwear down your thighs, the metal of his rings making you shiver again. you're bare under him and he gently spreads your thighs, one hand holding your thigh, the other sliding slowly down your stomach. 
you feel yourself get wetter every moment that you stare at him - and then his thumb is swirling in your heat, making you keen lowly, moving your hips up to meet his hand. he's never acted like this, and it's new and shocking to you as he presses one finger into you suddenly, pumping immediately and his body lowering to catch your lips with his own.
he curls his finger as he pumps into you at a fast pace, his chains dangling down and tickling the skin in between your breasts in the most delicious way. the coolness of the thin necklaces dragging against your skin makes you shiver. "another." you whimper and eddie hums, pulling his head back. 
"what do you say?" he says quietly, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips as he drags his finger out of you and you feel two press against your entrance. 
you whimper, hips bucking against them in need, is he going to make you beg? why is that so hot? 
"please, eddie." you say, your stomach filled with shock that eddie could be like this. he nods with a smirk as he pushes two fingers into you, making you arch your back as pleasure courses through your body. he pumps into you, curling his fingers as he does and you whimper into his mouth, hands snaking up into his fluffy hair. 
his thumb rubs light circles on your clit, making you bite back a scream as he continues to thrust his fingers into you, your hands moving to rake down his bare back and making him hiss quietly. 
"eddie, please, i need to feel you." you say, very close to begging on your knees. he smirks lightly, standing up to pull off his cuffed black pants and hopping on one leg slightly. 
immediately as he’s upright, your hand palms his hard cock from outside his boxers and he lets out a hushed groan, head tilting back. you almost pull him out and take him into your mouth, but hes pushing you to lay back down, pulling off his boxers and climbing on top of you again.
he lines up against your entrance and stares at you, cheeks pink. you bite your lip, tugging him by one of his thin silver chains down so he's flush against you, and you kiss him sloppily, slowly sliding your hips against his tip to relieve your desperation. 
"you ready?" he mutters breathlessly as he pulls away and you nod quickly, hands falling onto his shoulders as he slowly pushes into you. you let out a strangled noise as he slides into you, stretching you out perfectly and making you smile in pleasure. 
"shit." he mutters into your neck before he starts to move his hips at a quicker pace than usual, making you gasp out and grip the sheets with one hand.
his hips start to snap and you bite his neck as waves of satisfaction course through your body. "eddie, i-" you cut yourself off as you let out a groan, almost overwhelmed by the pleasure filling your veins and making your legs shake. 
"you're mine." he mutters as he thrusts into you in a quick pace, your legs wrapped around his waist. “not his.” 
his words and the feeling of him filling you and stretching you perfectly makes you let out a strangled, "yeah, eddie - fuck - 'm yours." your words makes him thrust even harder, hitting a spot in you that gives you that familiar coil feeling and you emit a loud moan. 
his hand quickly covers your mouth and he leans into your ear, "baby, we have to be quiet. your family could wake up and hear." and then he kisses the skin under your ear as he fucks into you.
you can't help it as your eyes roll back in pleasure from his words and you screw them shut, the feeling of eddie hitting deep into you making you twitch and clench around him. he lets out a small moan of your name and grips your thighs as he hikes you up slightly. 
the deeper angle as he lifts you slightly has you moaning against his hand, eyes finding his wide honey ones. "fuck - you close, baby?" he asks and you can tell he's trying not to cum first. you nod as he fucks into you and your eyes scrunch shut in pleasure again when his other hand sneaks between you to toy with your clit. 
you can't stop the whines that leave your mouth as his hand leaves your lips, lowering to palm one of your breasts as he kisses you harshly.
as his hips slam into you and make your back arch in pleasure, he moves his head lower to suck marks on your neck. your body shakes as he thrusts deeply into you and you whimper his name as you hit your high suddenly, your breathing coming out in ragged gasps. you clench and spasm around him, whimpering his name every few seconds as he follows closely behind you and suddenly eddie fills every sense, his quiet groans and mutters following his own peak. 
for a few seconds, he hovers above you, stilling his hips as you both catch your breath, before he collapses next to you with a deep exhale.
you stare up at the ceiling in awe. "eddie, that was... unexpected." you say, exhausted. he rolls over, his hand wrapping around your middle and nuzzling his head into the crook of your shoulder, his bare skin against yours relaxing you. "sorry, y/n/n. richie made me mad."
you shake your head, kissing the crown of eddie's head and smelling his coconut shampoo. his hand traces your stomach, the word in an inky stick n poke scribbled on his hand making you chuckle. chaotic, that was one word for it. 
"it's okay, my love. and you don't have anything to worry about, you know." you reassure him. 
 he leans to catch your lips with his softly before pulling back with a blushy grin, "yeah, because he’s a fucking dumb ass. and that was pretty fun, anyways."
239 notes · View notes
marvxlousqueen · 5 years ago
Text
Warren Worthington- My Girl
requested by anon: (I swear you’re a master of Warren smut 🙏 never thought I’d even consider facefucking in my life but I fucking loved what you did there 👏👏👏) ANYWAY. How about jealous/angry Warren smut? - if writing it doesn’t bore you too much 😁 all the love!!
word count: 2.1 K 
warnings: smut, cussing, unprotected sex lmao i’m too lazy to write in condoms
A/N: not sure how i feel abt this bc i feel like warren was all over the place but whatevs, anyways thanks for requesting! also i returned to my fav thing of having jean and scott fuck in the name of the plot so enjoy folks :) 
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“Jean!! Open the fucking door!!” 
(Y/n) hand pounded on the door to her and Jean’s dorm. 
She heard Jean rustle around, “Go away! I’m busy!”
(Y/n) rolled her eyes, “Doing what? Let me in!”
“Doing me!” 
“Shut up, Scott!”
A loud crash came from inside the room, where (Y/n) can only assume Jean pushed Scott off her bed. 
“Ew! Jean-”
Suddenly the door opened to reveal Jean in just one of Scott’s t-shirts. 
“Can you please just give us like two hours?”
“Two hours? No! I need to shower before lunch. I’m all gross from training.” 
Jean shut the door, clicking the lock.
“Sucks. Shower somewhere else.”
(Y/n) pounded on the door one last time. “Fuck you, Jean! And fuck you, Scott!!”
Giving up her protest, (Y/n) made her way out of the girls hallway, heading towards another friend’s room. As she went through the boys hallway, she noticed how dirty she actually was from training. Grass stains on her arms and legs, a few twigs in her hair, and dirt under her nails. 
Every Thursday was mandatory outdoor tactical training with Raven. These mandatory lessons were done in smaller groups in hopes of focusing more on each individual’s hand to hand combat and reflexes, but lately, even with the small class (Y/n) had been distracted. 
Warren -fucking- Worthington. And no ‘fucking’ isn’t his middle name, but it is what (Y/n) tends to think every time she looks at him. Somehow he had everything she wanted.
Rockin’ bod, awesome mutation, the cutest personality- everything. One issue, he never seemed to be able to make it through one conversation with her. He’d always make up excuses and run off somewhere.
I’m not that bad, she thought to herself.
(Y/n) reached Warren’s door. Well- Peter and Warren’s door. She would never be bold enough to show up unannounced if Peter didn’t live there as well. (Y/n) knocked on the door. 
“Pete?”
The door swung open, revealing her silver-haired friend. 
“Hey! Finally came to visit me, did you?”
She stepped inside, kicking off her tennis shoes before taking a seat on the hardwood floors. 
“Ew- you look rough. Raven really put you through the wringer, huh?”
(Y/n) nodded, leaning her back against the wall. 
“It was a lot today, more than usual it felt like. And it was so humid- ugh. Can I use your shower?”
“Why do you-”
Peter stopped talking, instead turning around to see look where Warren had entered. “Hey, bro.”
Warren gave him a nod, busy digging his water bottle out of his gym bag. 
How does he not look completely awful after training? What the fuck?
“But no, why do you need to use our shower?”
“Jean and Scott are um, fooling around in our room. I’m not allowed in for two fucking hours so I really need to shower because I just feel disgusting. And I’m starving but I don’t want to eat until I’m clean.”
Peter nodded, sitting back on his bed, “Yeah, sure. I don’t care.” He looked to Warren on the other side of the room. “Are you going to shower right now or can she?”
He looked up like a deer in the headlights, “S-she can.”
Peter turned back to (Y/n), gesturing to the bathroom. “All yours. There’s extra towels under the sink.”
(Y/n) jumped up, rushing to the bathroom, desperate to scrub herself down. 
“You good, man?”
Warren’s head shot up, “huh? Yeah, I’m good.”
Peter nodded slowly, “Okay, you just got all weird around her. I could’ve told her no about the shower if you didn’t want her to use it.”
Warren shook his head, “No- I’m fine, just tired.”
(Y/n) must’ve been scrubbing away the dirt and grass for 15 minutes before she finally turned off the hot water. She grabbed her towel, trying off and squeezing water out of her hair. Looking around the bathroom, she realized she had no clean clothes.
(Y/n) peaked her head out the bathroom door before stepping out.
“Hey, Peter, can I borrow some clothes or something. Mine are gross and I’m still locked out of my room. Plus I don’t want to walk down the hallway like this.”
She motioned to her short towel and dripping hair. Warren finally looked up, jaw dropping, throat going dry.
Fuck, he thought, she’s- she’s so pretty, fuck. 
Peter climbed off his bed, walking over to his dresser to dig out some clothes.
“I think you should stick with that outfit. You look hot in a towel. And trust me if you walk down the guy’s hallway like that you’ll get a lot of attention.”
“Hm,” she pondered, “maybe I should, finally get me a boyfriend.”
Peter handed her a pair of boxer shorts and a t-shirt that was a little too big for her. 
“So the boyfriend position is open? Are there applications or-”
“Oh shut it!” (Y/n) shoved Peter’s shoulder, making him laugh.
Warren could feel his ears burning and his face heat up.
I can’t even be jealous when I’m too much of a pussy to ask her out. But god- if she dates Peter and is in here all the time with him, I might actually have to move. 
Warren shook his head, trying to snap himself out of his thoughts. When he looked up, (Y/n) was heading back into the bathroom. 
“Wait! I’ve got to pee!” Peter jumped in front of her, closing the bathroom door.
“Peter! I need to change. Get out!” 
“Just change out there- and quickly please, you’re getting water all over the floor.”
(Y/n) scoffed before looking down and seeing how much water her hair had dripped onto the floor. 
She turned to Warren, “Do you mind if I change out here? Like if you just turn around..”
Warren’s face flushed as he processed her words. “U-uh, um, y-yeah. Y-you’re good.” He turned to face the wall, hands over his eyes. 
(Y/n) started to change quickly, not wanting Peter to come out and see. Warren heard her towel drop. 
Don’t do it, don’t do it. Don’t. Do. It.
Warren couldn’t control himself. He turned slowly to look over his shoulder. Warren took a deep breath as he took in her entire backside. She was pulling up Peter’s boxers when he finally looked away.
Warren’s throat tightened when he realized (Y/n) was wearing all of Peter’s clothes.
You should’ve offered her your clothes, dipshit! Now she’s all snuggled up in Peter’s fucking underwear- oh god. 
Warren slapped his hands over his eyes again as he faced the wall, letting out a sigh. 
“Okay, I’m done. You can turn around now,” she banged on the bathroom door, “Peter, you can come out now.”
Warren turned around, seeing Peter pulling at the big shirt (Y/N) was wearing. 
“It looks nice on you. If I was your boyfriend, I could lend you a lot of my clothes. And.. if I was your boyfriend I could lend you a hand in taking them off too.”
She rolled her eyes, “Fuck off, Maximoff. I’m not interested.”
“What- why not? I’m cool.”
“Someone- someone else has got my eye recently.” 
(Y/n) shot a glance at Warren, meeting his eyes before they both turned away quickly.
“The fuck does that mean?” they both thought to themselves. 
Peter laughed, “Oh come on- we could have a lot of fun, if you know what I mean.” He raised his eyebrows at her, then gave her a wink. 
Warren clenched his jaw, balling up his fists. (Y/n) looked over to see if this was having any effect on him at all. She smiled when she saw him looking a jealous mess.
“I’ll have to pass, thanks.”
Peter winked again playfully, “Your loss. Anyways- I’m going to lunch. Want to come with?”
(Y/n) shook her head, “I’ll wait a bit, want to dry off more. But you go ahead. Catch you later.”
Peter gave her a thumbs up before disappearing out the door.
“So...” She looked towards Warren, studying his flushed face.
“S-so?”
“So.. do you like me? Or should I give Peter a chance?”
“Fuck no, don’t give Peter anything.”
(Y/n)’s eyes widened, “Where’d that confidence come from?”
Warren stood up from his bed, “I don’t really know, b-but you drive me crazy. And it’s also driving me crazy seeing you in Peter’s underwear.”
“Maybe,” she stepped closer to him, “you should help me out of it.”
Warren’s mouth went dry, “R-really?”
“I mean, yeah. Do you want to?”
“Fuck- yes, please.”
Warren ran to lock the door, bouncing back towards (Y/n). “A-are you sure?”
She took his face in her hands, staring deep into his eyes. “Please.”
Her lips collided with his, mashing together with a sense of urgency. Warren’s hands moved to pull up the shirt she was wearing. She moved her arms and broke off their kiss, letting the shirt fly over her head.
Warren froze for a moment, forgetting that she wasn’t wearing anything underneath until he saw her bare chest.
“Fuck, you’re- you’re so perfect.”
Warren tried to tug off his shirt, forgetting he had his wings for a moment. “Ow-ouch, okay.”
“Okay, let me do that.”
(Y/n) moved behind him, helping him get the shirt off. 
“Thanks.”
“Any time, now where were we again?”
Warren pulled her on top of his bed with him, letting her straddle him. (Y/n)’s hands flew to unbutton his pants, their lips not breaking apart. She pulled them off, moving to palm him through his boxers. 
Warren pulled away, repositioning himself to pull her  Peter’s boxers off. 
“I can’t believe you’re wearing Peter’s underwear.”
“What? You jealous?”
Warren tugged them down her legs before flipping her over so he was on top.
“Of course, you’re my girl.”
“Oh am I?”
“Mhm.”
Warren moved to suck a hickey onto her neck while his fingers went to run through her wet folds. He slipped one finger inside her.
“Fuck, you’re so wet for me, aren’t you?”
She moaned out, “Warren, please more.”
Warren added a second finger, moving them quickly while he moved to leave love bites down her chest. 
“You ready for me?”
(Y/n) could feel him rut against her leg everytime she clenched around his fingers. He was so hard. She couldn’t wait to get her mouth on him.  
(Y/n)’s hands teased the waistband of his boxers, slowly sliding them down, revealing his large length. 
“Fuck.”
Warren’s eyes filled with worry, “Fuck what? Am I too small? I’ve heard that before you know, but I like to think I can make up for it, you know? Like I can go down on you and-”
“No! No, you’re big. Jesus Christ.”
He sighed in relief, “O-oh, good.”
Warren began to move down (Y/n)’s body, planning on eating her out. 
“Wait, Warren. I want to suck your dick.”
Warren looked up, face redder than ever before. “Y-you what?”
“Want to suck your dick.”
“Oh okay, wow.”
She let out a small chuckle, “That shouldn’t be so surprising, we are like about to fuck and everything.”
Warren shook his head. sitting back up. “Sorry, I just never thought I’d hear you say anything like that.”
“Please let me suck your dick.”
Warren exhaled a long breath. “Oh god, fuck. I really want you to, but thing is- if you put your mouth on my dick, I think I’m going to cum immediately because I’ve been picturing this for so long and I’m not 100% sure I’ll be able to go for another round- just being honest.”
“That’s fine, but you’ve imagined this? For how long?”
He shook his head, “Not important, we can talk later.”
“Right, right.”
Warren laid back down on top of (Y/n), pulling one of her legs over his shoulder. 
“Are you-”
“Yes.”
Warren nodded, slowly pushing the tip into her dripping core. 
“Oh- shit! You’re- you’re really tight.”
“Please move. Please, Warren.”
He kept pushing forward until he bottomed out. Then slowly, he pulled out and thrusted back in. With each thrust he picked up more speed until he was slamming into her. 
Warren was groaning into (Y/n)’s ear, mumbling word about how good she felt, while she was biting her lip, trying not to scream and let the whole school know that she was getting some good dick. 
Her nails scraped down Warren’s back as she approached her end. 
“F-fuck! I’m close-”
“Me too.”
He picked up his pace, moving fast than before. One hand went down to (Y/n)’s clit, rubbing it quickly to help her reach her climax.
Warren felt her hands pull his hair and that was the final straw. He buried himself inside her one more time before releasing, coating her walls.
(Y/n) clenched around him as she rode out her high. Her hands fell away from his hair, letting him drop against the mattress after he pulled out of her. 
Warren wrapped one sweaty arm around (Y/n), pulling her into his side.
“You might need to shower again.”
She hummed, snuggling into him. 
“If you do, just know that you’ll be wearing my clothes, not Peter’s. You’re my girl.”
taglist: @chocolatealmondmilkshake @thoughtlesspace @billyhargovesgurl @babebenhardy @rexorangecouny @cyndagoaway @killcomet��@mcrmarvelloki @queen-turtle-boiii @hardlylo @ziggymay @jacqueline1916 @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ixchel-9275
hmu to be added!!
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caffeine-and-tears · 5 years ago
Text
Michael Mell x Gay!Male!Reader
Title: None  Character: Michael Mell x Gay Male reader  Type: Headcanons  Triggers: Swearing, Homophobia, Mentions of a panic attack  Plot: None
ALSO HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before y’all date He lowkey hates you
 It’s not like you were mean or anything He just didn’t know how to deal with how he felt
You’re cool with pretty much everyone 
At first, he doesn’t realize he has a crush on you 
He just thought of you as Christine’s best friend 
He pretty much ignored you
But you weren’t having any of that 
“Hey, Michael!” 
“Hey”
“What’cha listening to?” 
“Bob Marley” 
“That’s cool!” 
“Thanks, I guess?” 
He would ignore how fast his heart was beating
And just leave 
He thought you were talking to him for some prank 
But the boi has no idea how fine he is 
Christine will talk to Jeremy just so you could talk to Michael 
But he’d always disappear off to 7/11 
You were determined to one day call Michael Mell your boyfriend
One day you got sick of his bs 
You stood up on top of a table in the cafeteria a week before prom 
“YO I’M GAY FOR YOU MICHAEL MELL, WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME?” 
Even for a theater nerd, you were hella extra 
His mind went into overdrive 
You?????Like him???? 
And you’re also gay????????????? 
He doesn’t really know what to do 
So he panics and leaves
 Which makes you panic 
You must’ve done something wrong
You caught up with him later 
He expected you to say it was all a joke 
But no you came up to him with an entire speech about how you were sorry if you made him uncomfortable
Then something just clicked inside him
You were still rambling when he gave you that signature bright smile 
You almost swooned 
He hesitantly took your hand 
“I-it’s fine, I was just a bit surprised that’s all but if you really want me to go to prom with you then we’ve got a date” 
Yes that was a Bob Marley reference 
The nerd
“You’re such a dork” 
You laughed and this time it was his turn to swoon
So he went as your prom date 
Before you asked him out he was just planning to skip it 
His moms were so proud 
T H O U S A N D S O F P I C T U R E S 
His insta was full of pics of you bc he was so happy to have you as his date 
As soon as you saw him you just thought ‘Welp if I was straight, not any more’ 
You met up with Christine and Jeremy and went in one vehicle 
You guys thumb wrestled to decide where to eat 
Michael let you win because you’re cute 
You knew that so that’s how everyone ended up eating Sushi and slushies 
When you actually got there Poor Michael wanted to stay by the snacks
 You dragged him to the dance floor 
“C’mon Mikey, why not!” 
“Promise you won’t laugh”
 “Yeah” 
“I’m totally helpless with dancing” 
You resisted the urge to sing Hamilton
 “So am I, but it’s fun. If I had to choose one person to look ridiculous with, it’d be you” 
HIS FACE TURNED AS RED AS HIS HOODIE 
That was the moment he realized he was in love with you 
“That’s so cheesy” 
“Whatever, come dance with me Mell”
There was an all-out shipping war between the power couples You/Michael, Rich/Jake and Christine/Jeremy 
Eventually, you and Michael won 
No one can even be mad 
Y’all so cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute 
When you and Michael made official Rich flipped 
He was your biggest shipper tbh 
Jake shipped #stagedorks more tho 
Chloe and brook shipped RichJake 
Despite that Jer and Chris have double dates with you all the time
Your parent/parent/guardian adores Michael 
He’s so polite when he talks to them 
He really wants to make a good impression! 
He almost had a panic attack before meeting them 
“They’re gonna hate me” 
He wasn’t good enough for you anyways, how could he fool them into thinking he was? 
Instead of going into a whole paragraph about how he was in fact good enough you just grabbed him 
Forced him to lie down with you 
And started to hum some Bob Marley song under your breath  
Mostly bc you didn’t remember the words 
For a while he just stayed in your arms while listening to your heartbeat
You rested your head on top of his and he was looking at you with heart eyes 
After half an hour he calmed down 
You realized this would be a good time to reassure him 
“Listen So what if they don’t like you, I’m hopelessly in love with you so I guess you’re stuck with me “ 
He mocked annoyance with the biggest smile on his face 
But he knew you guys were going to be okay
You both get addicted to each other's interests 
You ended up spending hours playing video games with him 
And he ended up binge watching RuPaul's drag race 
He pretends to hate it and oo it for the cuddles 
But both of ya get really invested
SPEAKING OF CUDDLES THE BOI LOVES THEM AND WILL NOT BE TOO ASHAMED TO ASK 
ALL THE TIME 
“Babeeee, cuddle meeeee” 
“Michael we’re in the middle of English” 
“I love you too babe” 
You had to convince the teacher to bring everyone to the library 
You guys cuddle on a tiny ass sofa 
But when you saw his little smile as he snuggled into your chest 
So cute
You guys weren’t the only out and proud gay couple in the school though
When dealing with intolerant assholes you didn’t take any crap 
“Being gay is a sin” 
“That hairstyle should be a sin so FUCK OFF KAREN” 
One day a bunch of kids from another school saw you and Michael holding hands 
Later when you were walking home they cornered and beat the crap out of you 
You had a black eye and a bunch of bruises 
The next day you skipped school cause you didn’t want Michael to worry 
After 3 days you came to school with sunglasses cause and a turtleneck 
Cause you were slick
He knew something was wrong 
It was hot as Jake’s damn house outside 
And you were wearing a frickin turtleneck 
His paranoid ass thought you were hiding hickeys 
He pulled you aside during lunch and asked if everything was okay and if you wanted to break up with him 
He was so panicked 
Your heart broke 
“No of course not, just some guys saw me and you holding hands and uhm wasn’t so nice” 
“Did they hurt you?” 
“Not really it doesn’t hurt that much-“ 
“Show me” 
You took off your shirt 
He couldn’t admire your bare chest because there was a giant bruise forming on your stomach 
And smaller ones on your shoulders 
How could people hurt his baby like that????? 
He was about to cry 
“Mikey it’s fine-“ 
“No, it’s not!” 
Tears were pouring out of eyes by now 
He felt so guiltily
Someone he loved got hurt again
And he didn’t do anything about it
You hated that he was blaming himself 
“I’ll call the school and tell them what happened, it’s not your fault that people are jerks” 
He still felt horrible
So you both ditched the rest of school for a RuPaul's drag race marathon and a bunch of cuddles
He just loves you so muchhhhhhh Treat him right
96 notes · View notes
kagehinataboke · 6 years ago
Note
i don’t really have a prompt in mind but i have this really specific idea for a tdbk high school au where Bakugou is the captain of the basketball team and Todoroki is the captain of the volleyball team and they always get into huge fights and yeah i would just die to see this au if you feel like writing it, ty sm uwu, love your writing ❤️
okay so i’ve been working on this for a while, so sorry for the late response dear!! it sounds like a fantastic idea uwu
i also got really carried away tbh haha, it’s just such a cute au~ i might eventually make it a whole story bc it’s just so dang adorable! ;u; hope you like it anon
***
“What do you mean we can’t use the court?” Bakugou slams his hands down on Principal Nezu’s desk hard enough to knock over an innocent cup of pencils. “I’ve had it booked since last week! Who the hell took it?!”
“Language, Katsuki,” Nezu scolds, calmly fixing the cup. “Shouto made a very compelling argument, so the board and I decided to—“
“Dammit, that bastard?” Bakugou sits down hard, knocking over the pencils again. “He can’t keep stealing the court! My team needs to practice, too. What did he tell you this time, huh? Is he spreading rumors about me again?”
“He’s never spread rumors about you,” Nezu sighs, setting the pencil cup on the windowsill to save it from further assault. “Katsuki, it’s simple: his team has more funding and more support from the school board. There’s nothing I can do—“
“Bullshit.” Bakugou stands up to storm out, ripping a volleyball poster off the open door on his way. “Dammit, I’ll deal with it myself. Thanks for nothing.”
Todoroki Shouto is the most annoying, aggravating, horrible person Bakugou has ever met. That asshole constantly steals the court that the basketball team needs, sabotages their attempts to gain new members—and, most importantly, he’s got the support of the entire student council and faculty. Being the captain of the basketball team means nothing when Bakugou is terrible at making social connections.
“Bro, did you ask about the court?” Kirishima appears from thin air, Kaminari and Sero on his heels. “What’d Nezu say?”
“It’s that fucker again,” Bakugou growls, storming into the gym with enough ferocity to scare first-year volleyball members out of the way. “Dammit, Todoroki!” he yells across the gym at the irritating bastard who’s preparing for a serve. “You’re fucking dead!”
“Wait, you can’t just kill him!” Kirishima quickly grabs Bakugou by the arms, saving Todoroki’s shitty fucking pretty boy face in the nick of time.
“Ah, I see you found out about the gym.” Todoroki hands his ball to the vice-captain, Iida, and crosses his arms. “Did you come to fight me for it?”
Bakugou struggles against Kirishima’s grip, but it only gets him an inch closer to Todoroki’s irritatingly calm, unflinching face. “You must think this is a real fucking riot, huh, interfering with everything my team does?! This isn’t over, you fucking Half bastard!”
“You say that every time,” Todoroki calls after him as Kirishima and the others drag him away. “See you later, I guess.”
“Fuck you!”
***
“You’re the worst,” Bakugou says vehemently between impatient kisses down Todoroki’s pale throat. “You’re the worst fucking person I’ve ever met in my life.”
“Yes, I know.” Todoroki’s fingernails dig into his shoulders, spreading pinpricks of heat down his back. Bakugou wants to take a picture of his ruined expression and frame it. “Hey“—the bastard’s gasping now—“don’t leave marks.”
“Shut up.” Bakugou bites his collarbone spitefully, igniting Todoroki’s yelp. “You piss me the hell off. Give me back my court and I’ll consider being less rough.” He accentuates the threat with another bite. Fuck Todoroki Shouto and his dumbass ‘no marks’ bullshit. As if Bakugou would listen to him when he’s pissed off—or, fuck, even when he isn’t.
“Blackmailing me won’t work,” Todoroki replies with the same irritatingly docile expression. “I like it rou—“ He gasps when Bakugou kisses him harshly on the mouth. He was just about to say he likes it rough, this motherfucker.
Yes, Bakugou despises Todoroki more than anyone else in the world—but that may be the exact reason he likes seeing him defenseless and at his complete mercy so damn much. Hate-fucking him in a janitor’s closet has become a perpetual, reluctant, and mostly accidental habit that he tries to refrain from… but never can.
After they’re finished, Bakugou always feels like something is left unresolved, and no amount of cursing or regret will fix it. The two-tone bastard Todoroki doesn’t seem to share his thoughts, though. “Hey… You should come to my game tomorrow.”
“What, you mean the one that you stole my gym time to practice for?” Bakugou scoffs while pulling on his wrinkled jersey. “How about fuck you?”
“You do a good enough job of that on your own,” Todoroki replies evenly, slipping on his red practice jacket and zipping it up to his neck to hide the dark blemishes there. “You left hickeys all over me again, so it’s really the least you could do.”
“Just because I sometimes fuck you in closets doesn’t make us friends, or anything close to it,” Bakugou reminds, slinging his practice duffel over his shoulder and flipping off Icy Hot on his way out. “I still don’t fucking like you. Bye.”
“It’s at three o’clock!” Todoroki calls after him before the door closes, pissing Bakugou off even more. He won’t do this ever again, he swears—and he definitely won’t go to that stupid fucking game, either.
***
“You’re going to the volleyball game?” Kirishima is so surprised that he misses his free-throw, and the rogue basketball hits Kaminari in the head. “But… why?”
“Oi, proper passes asshole!” Bakugou yells at a first-year before answering, “I thought about it, and it’s a good chance for revenge. That dick Todoroki is always stealing members and support from us, so it’s time to get back at him.”
Kaminari pauses mid-dribble to raise an eyebrow disbelievingly. “That’s the only reason? You sure?”
“What exactly are you implying, huh?” Bakugou elbows him on his way to center court. “What other reason could there be? I’m just going to fuck with him.”
“But do you really even hate Todoroki, though?” Kaminari asks with a frown. “I mean, you guys are like… Ugh, you know when two people both like and hate each other at the same time? You’re, like, uh… Help me out here, Kirishima.”
“Frenemies?”
“Frenemies! You guys are like frenemies. I mean, you wouldn’t be so bothered by that guy if you didn’t like him at least a little.”
“Fuck you,” Bakugou scoffs, smacking the basketball out of his hand. “I’m going for sabotage reasons: that’s it.”
“Me too!” Sero calls suddenly from across the gym, elbowing a first-year in the chest when he throws his hand up. After apologizing and passing his ball to Shinsou, he trips over to them. “I wanna come, too. Uh, you know, to help with the espionage.”
Kaminari rolls his eyes. “You guys have fun, then. I’m not going.”
“Nobody fucking asked you to.” Bakugou takes a position at the three-point line. “I only told you two so you’d keep an eye on practice for me.” He takes a shot and it sails straight into the basket. “Just make sure nobody dies—and for fuck’s sake, get these shitty first-years to improve their damn passes!”
“Aren’t you worried Principal Nezu will be mad if you’re there?” Kirishima interjects. “He knows you hate Todoroki’s guts. He’ll definitely suspect something.”
“He won’t suspect shit.” Bakugou pulls the sweatband off his wrist and tosses it to Kaminari with a smirk. “Just wait and see: I’ll pay that pretty boy over ten-fucking-fold.”
“Pretty boy?” Kirishima echoes.
“Shut the fuck up, Shitty Hair.” Bakugou makes another three-pointer, but he can’t focus on his game when the memory of Todoroki’s stupid face is haunting him. Sometimes he can’t get the look of that bastard out of his head—of Todoroki’s parted lips and splayed hips; of Bakugou’s own hands on that delicate porcelain skin.
Shit, he already wants to break his promise and fuck him again. If he goes to the game and sees Todoroki playing, he might just have to. Sweaty skin, a neckline low enough to show off the marks Bakugou left, and those tight, tight shorts— Oh fuck, he’s totally done for.
Shit, Bakugou’s riled up now. He passes his ball to Kirishima with an irritated scoff. “Fucking take this. I’ll be right back.”
“What? Wait, where are you—“
Bakugou slams through the gym doors before he can finish his sentence, punching a locker hard enough to dent it. “Calm down,” he orders himself. His body is basically flipping him off, though. “I hate him. I hate him.” He has to say it twice to make it sound believable. Lately, Bakugou has been struggling to put a name to his feelings. Hate is there, but it’s not the only thing he feels anymore. Why did he become closer to Todoroki in the first place? How can he possess him one second and let him go the next? It doesn’t make any sense if he takes time to think about it.
“Fuck.” Bakugou punches the locker again. Pain is one thing he has no trouble feeling. “Fuck,” he says again, resting his head against the dented metal.
Maybe he shouldn’t go. If he sees Todoroki at the game, he’ll… Well, he honestly doesn’t know what he’ll do. Hit him? Maybe. Kiss him? Probably. Fuck him again? Almost definitely.
***
The amount of people that show up to a volleyball game is… depressing. Bakugou has never seen a crowd of more than eighty people at a basketball game, but there’s well over a hundred here. He’s scowling as he sits down in a seat where that bastard Todoroki won’t see him. What is it about volleyball? Basketball is way fucking harder. Sure, Bakugou’s never seen a volleyball game before, but their practices look easy as hell. Dammit, he’s forgetting why he came here: there’s a job to do.
“Sero, did you remember to bring it?” Bakugou whispers, keeping his eyes trained on the court. The Half bastard hasn’t shown up yet. “Sero? Sero— For fuck’s sake, what are you doing?”
Sero jumps, quickly ripping his gaze away from the face of the volleyball tram’s vice-captain. “Oh, uh… sorry. I brought it.” He digs in his bag to retrieve a package of marbles. “Isn’t this plan too childish, though? And some people could get seriously hurt.”
“It’s just fucking marbles. Don’t be a pussy.” Bakugou snatches the package from him and rips it open. “As soon as the game hits the second set, you trip me and spill these all over the court. Got it?”
“Yeah,” Sero agrees reluctantly, eyeing Iida again. It’s no secret he’s got a thing for him. “…I got it.”
“Good. Stay on your toes and…” Bakugou’s mouth goes completely dry when Todoroki steps onto the court. It’s hard to explain, but there’s something… different about the way he looks right now. His eyes are filled with such unnerving intensity that it makes Bakugou shiver. He could be thinking about his classes or the hickeys that are just visible above the collar of his uniform, but his mind seems laser-focused on the game ahead.
Fuck, he’s beautiful. Who the fuck gave him the right to be this hot? Bakugou silently drinks up the sight of him running, jumping, blocking—everything that makes his heart slam suicidally against his chest cavity. Point after point; Todoroki’s team scores again and again, easily taking the first set. Bakugou doesn’t even remember what he’s supposed to be doing until Sero’s shoulder roughly smacks into his arm.
He falls forward, throwing out his hands to right himself. As he does, the marble package slips from his hands, cascading over the heads of the row in front of them to tumble across the gym floor. The world stops, time crawling to a painful halt. Todoroki had been mid-jump, about to serve. The marbles have spread across the court, and he lands on one almost immediately. The chaos is more broad-spread than expected: both teams are down.
Everyone is too busy panicking to look for the source of the incident, but Todoroki’s gaze pierces straight through the crowd. Bakugou makes direct eye contact with him before vaulting the bleacher railing and disappearing into the hall. He fucked up. Or, no, he succeeded. He wanted to cause destruction, and he most definitely did. But, then… why does he feel so shitty?
He embarrassed Todoroki. Wasn’t that his goal from the start? He has no reason to be filled with… What is this feeling, anyway? Guilt? No fucking way. Bakugou refuses to even think about feeling guilty. But staring at the locker he punched, the sensation builds and builds until it’s unbearable. It was an accident. Even if he was planning it, it was still an accident. But fuck, he shouldn’t have to justify it at all. What the hell—
A fist catches him in the jaw “What the fuck—“ Bakugou gasps when hands seize him by the collar, slamming him against the dented locker. It’s hard to believe what he’s seeing. “What… Todoroki?”
Bakugou has never seen Todoroki angry before, and he wishes he didn’t have to see it now. His stormy eyes are full of raw, unbridled rage. He’s quite clearly pissed off. The emotion is even clearer in his voice. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
The question is so cold and serious that it’s impossible to give a joking response. “I… didn’t mean to.”
“You’re lying.” Todoroki’s fists clench against Bakugou’s shirt. “I invited you because I thought things could change, but they can’t, can they?” The anger drains from his eyes as quickly as it appeared, grip slackening on Bakugou’s collar. “You must… really hate me, huh?”
The words feel like bullets. Why does it hurt so much to hear them? Bakugou does hate him. He hates looking at him and hearing his voice and being powerless against his charm. But he can’t stop coming back for more and more of Todoroki Shouto, like he’s a drug. A drug with too many damn side-effects. Doubt, insecurity, fear, and something else… Something deeper that’s too hard to think about.
“So it’s true?” Todoroki shakes his head and releases him when Bakugou doesn’t say anything. “I guess this is it, then. I’m done being the object of your amusement. This isn’t a game.” He backs a few steps away, but the distance feels like miles.
If he keeps going, there won’t be a problem: Bakugou can probably go on believing he despises him. But the Half bastard always has to ruin everything, so he stops and looks over his shoulder. “For what it’s worth… I never once hated you.”
Dammit. Why did it have to be this way? It would be so much easier if Todoroki hated him. They could keep being at odds with each other, fighting over who gets to use the gym, bickering with Nezu about club funding. In the end, though, that’s impossible. Bakugou knows deep down what he wanted from the start—what he still wants now. He can’t make complete sense of his emotions, but… maybe he doesn’t have to.
“Todoroki.” Bakugou is surprised by the rawness of his voice. He’s supposed to be walking away, not closer. “Don’t.”
Don’t… what? Don’t go, don’t stay? He’s even confusing himself. But there’s no going back now: Todoroki has turned to face him again, lips parted in a yet-to-be-voiced question. Bakugou doesn’t let him speak, taking him by the wrist. Where his fingers touch Todoroki’s soft skin, he can feel a rapid-fire pulse. It skyrockets even more when they kiss.
Todoroki loses his balance, gripping fistfuls of Bakugou’s shirt when he slams him against the dented locker. A noise of protest rumbles from the back of his throat when Bakugou’s tongue slips into his mouth, but he could care less. His head is screaming. This stupidly annoying, beautiful bastard is all he wants right now. Fuck, is this what he’s been waiting for? For this shot of clarity? 
He doesn’t hate Todoroki Shouto at all. He never did. No, in fact, he just might be madly in love with him.
With a gasp, Todoroki finally manages to separate their mouths. “What the… hell do you… think you’re doing?”
He’s so out of breath that he can barely speak. Doesn’t this dumbass know to breathe through his nose? It pisses Bakugou off even more. “You god damn idiot.” He presses Todoroki’s back harder against the locker. “‘This isn’t a game’? I never saw this as a fucking game, asshole. You started shit with me, and I wanted to finish it.”
Todoroki grabs his wrist, eyes aflame again. “I’m not the one who picks fights with you. I admit that I don’t treat you properly, but I never start things directly. You’re the one who’s always hanging around, threatening me.” He scoffs softly. “It’s because you hate me, isn’t that right? You despise me.”
“Motherfucker…” Bakugou slams his fist against the wall to keep from punching Todoroki’s stupid fucking pretty face. “Are you stupid? I’ve never once said I hate you, Half n’ Half. Not fucking once.”
“You’re going to tell me you don’t? After everything you’ve done?” Todoroki pushes his head away from the wall, eyes steely. “Why would I ever believe you?”
Fuck. Does Bakugou have to say it? To say it will mean admitting it to himself first. Can he do that? Can he throw away years of resentment so easily? Then again, maybe that resentment has been disappearing for a while. When was the last time he thought about Todoroki with disgust? Or, rather… has he ever?
“I don’t hate you,” Bakugou mutters eventually. All the strength rushes out of him, and he drops his head against Todoroki’s shoulder. “I don’t hate you at all. I think I actually… Fuck. I think I actually like you a lot.”
It’s been a long time since Bakugou’s told the truth like this. Todoroki’s eyes convey his shock at the pure honesty in the words, but he doesn’t get a chance to respond. People are filing out of the gym, their loud voices carrying down the hallway—including Todoroki’s teammates.
“Fuck,” Bakugou mutters, backing up down the hall. “I’ll… see you later.”
Todoroki starts to protest, but Bakugou has already turned to run.
***
Bakugou isn’t sure how far or for how long he’s walked, but he should’ve been home twenty minutes ago. Ha… Not like it matters. What the fuck has he gone and done? He confessed to Todoroki, even though his feelings are a total mess. God, he’s so fucking dead. Why the fuck would he go and say such stupid shit?
“Ugh… Fuck me.” Bakugou collapses on a park bench, tearing his hands through his hair. “Dammit. Fucking idiot. What the hell is wrong with you, Katsuki? Oh my god, I can never show my face at school again. I’ll move to fucking Osaka and start bartending or some shit. Fuck. I wanna die…”
“Bakugou?”
For a moment, he thinks he must be imagining things. Why, at the peak of his misery, would Todoroki appear to worsen things? The universe can’t possibly be that cruel. Oh, but of course it can. Todoroki Shouto is standing in front of him, wearing casual clothes and a streetlight halo. Fuck. He’s as stupidly beautiful as ever. The universe really is an asshole, isn’t it?
“How did you find me?” is all Bakugou can manage to say. He hasn’t been yelling, but his voice is raw.
“I live near here. I couldn’t sleep, so I went for a walk.” Todoroki’s eyes glow in the soft fluorescent lamplight when he takes a step closer. “Are you… okay?”
“You shouldn’t be asking me that, asshole.” Bakugou lowers his head, too embarrassed to look him in the face. They’ve been in far more intimate situations, yet this somehow feels like the most exposing of all. “Just go back home. I’m not ready to talk yet.”
Of course, Todoroki never listens to him. He sits down, close enough for their shoulders to touch. “Did you mean what you said back there?”
“I’m not a fucking liar,” Bakugou grumbles irritably. “I meant it, even if I don’t fully understand it. I like you.” He lets out a breath. What a tremendous weight that’s been lifted… “Fuck. I like you so fucking much, it hurts.”
For the first time since they met, Bakugou lets himself look at Todoroki without a hint of anger. The other emotions that take its place are immediately overwhelming, and Bakugou can’t stop himself from reaching out to brush a fingertip across Todoroki’s soft bottom lip. It’s different from the way he’s touched him before, always full of mindless lust and spite. This is a gentle ache; one that starts in his chest and gradually moves through his whole body like a wildfire.
Todoroki’s breath catches quietly, which is more than enough to send Bakugou into cardiac arrest. He wants him. He wants all of him right now, but in a much different way than before. Rather than doing it to hurt him, Bakugou wants Todoroki Shouto to willingly belong to him. He wants to touch him so gently that he forgets everything else in the world.
“Can I…” Bakugou starts, voice deep and raspy with unchecked desire. His composure is steadily dissolving. Fuck, he wants to melt into him like ice cream on hot pavement. 
Thank god, Todoroki wants it as much as he does. He’s barely finished nodding before Bakugou’s tongue is in his mouth, fingers sliding under his sweatshirt. Fuck, his skin is soft. His saliva tastes like fucking peppermint. Was kissing him always this good? Bakugou’s thirst for him is utterly insatiable. Shit. Hate-fucking is nothing compared to whatever this is.
“Wait,” Todoroki gasps when Bakugou’s hand slips up his inner leg. “Not here, Bakugou—“
“First name,” Bakugou interrupts gruffly, gripping Todoroki’s thigh tighter to shut him up. He’s been waiting for this for a long time, he realizes. Fuck, it’s too good. “If you like me, use my first name.”
Todoroki doesn’t even hesitate. “Katsuki,” he whispers in an absolutely disastrous way. “Katsuki, I like you, too. I like you.”
Fuck, those damn words… He’s definitely trying to destroy him. But even so, it feels too amazing to care. Wreck me, Bakugou wants to say. Bite me. Break me. Bloody me. Tear me up completely.
To be destroyed by Todoroki Shouto might be all he’s ever wanted.
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kwonhozhi · 8 years ago
Text
Everybody Needs A Nervy B Now And Then
or 
Bitch In A Uniform 
On the verge of turning 18, grown-up-to-be James sets his sights on the new girl at school, “gorgeous sex-god” Lily, bass player for the Stiff Dylans. Unfortunately Lily appears to already be dating James’ evil archrival: the greasy and bitter Snape. With his ridiculously named cat Sir Jeremy and his band of brothers, the Ace Gang, by his side, James sets his mad schemes in motion to nab a snogtastic girlfriend and have the best birthday party ever. 
it’s here !!!! its here despite my computer shitting itself and drawing a total blank on a title and not being able to leave it alone its HERE we MADE IT
my eternal love to @alrightevans and also @alrightpotter @prongsyouignoramus and @gxldentrio 
AO3
James Potter to Ace Gang: cnt believe u wankers fucking abandoned me
Remus Lupin: james we were RIGHT THERE
James Potter: NOT DRESSED AS HORS D’OEVRES
Sirius Black: it’s spelled hors d’oeuvres
James Potter: i think you’ll find its spelled ‘betrayal’
James Potter: why did you all bail???????????????
Peter Pettigrew: Mum wouldn’t let me go as a cocktail sausage, seeing as she’s veggo and all
Sirius Black: jam you KNO yellow washes me out idk what you were thinking trying to make me be a cheese and pineapple stick
Remus Lupin: i’ll square idk how the fuck i was supposed to be a vol-au-vent
James Potter changed the group name to Betrayal Gang.
Sirius Black changed James Potter’s nickname to olive boi.
-
Sirius Black to James Potter: u should have been at mine 2 minutes ago
Sirius Black: wher r u
James Potter: coming
James Potter: was talking to mum and dad abt my party
Sirius Black: howd it go
James Potter: :///////:
Sirius Black: double ended :/
James Potter: yeah.
-
Sirius Black to Ace Gang: just saw snape on the way to bio. god hes so wet up close
James Potter: wearer of the wettest haircut known to humanity thy name is snape
Peter Pettigrew: Omg i kno i saw it this morning like imagine turning up for the first day like that
James Potter: youd think hed have least timed his yearly bath to coincide with the start of school
Remus Lupin: you guys shouldn’t be so mean about him
Remus Lupin: im just kidding can you imagine
-
James Potter to petition for dumbledore to make a rule about school bathing regulations: lupin we all saw u go off with that bird at break
James Potter: whats the 411 lil mama
James Potter: whats the hot goss
Remus Lupin: nothing, she’s the new exchange student i was showing her around
Sirius Black: sure
James Potter: that hickey under your collar get there by itself did it
Remus Lupin: we’re not talking about this
Peter Pettigrew: Guys shut up i have English and McG is giving me the worst look
-
Sirius Black to now taking bets for how long it takes sirius to get a detention off mcgonagall: where have you and the swedish girl got to on the snogging scale???
Remus Lupin: shes danish
Remus Lupin: and what the fuck is the snogging scale
James Potter: me and siri invented it
James Potter: 1) holding hands                        2) arm around                        3) good-night kiss                        4) kiss lasting over three minutes without a breath                        5) open mouth kissing                        6) tongues                        7) upper body fondling—outdoors                        8) upper body fondling—indoors (in bed)                        9) below waist activity                      10) the full monty
Remus Lupin: why am i friends with either of you
Sirius Black: we were thirteen
James Potter: oh so suddenly now that you’re 18 you’re too COOL for the snogging scale????????
Peter Pettigrew: CAN YOU STOP HAVING IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS WHILE IM IN CLASS WITH MCGONAGALL
Sirius Black: o i thought this was the chat without peter
Peter Pettigrew: Fuck off
-
Peter Pettigrew to Remus Lupin: You don’t really have a chat without me do you ?????
Peter Pettigrew: ??????????????????
Peter Pettigrew: Remus
-
James Potter to Ace Gang: NEW GIRL ALERT
Peter Pettigrew: Yeah, we’ve already seen her. You were there when we walked in on lupin in that EXTREMELY compromising position
Remus Lupin: if you don’t drop it im leaving the chat
James Potter: NOT HER
James Potter: ANOTHER ONE
James Potter: SHES FRIENDS WITH ALICE THE LAUGH
James Potter: SHES THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
Sirius Black: you walked in on remus doing HWAT
Remus Lupin has left the chat.
James Potter has added Remus Lupin to the chat.
James Potter: THIS IS IMPORTANT
James Potter: WE NEED A PLAN
James Potter: HOW DO I GET HER TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
Peter Pettigrew: Maybe say hello to her
James Potter: WHAT
Remus Lupin: pete don’t be ridiculous. james would NEVER do something that easy and straightforward
James Potter: i am having a CRISIS here
Sirius Black: please tell me what you walked in on remus doing with the danish girl
Remus Lupin has left the chat.
James Potter added Remus Lupin to the chat.
James Potter: everyone is on intel until further notice
Peter Pettigrew: Yeah okay
Remus Lupin: alright
Sirius Black changed the group name to Lupin’s Nonspecific But Indisputable Lovers’ Tryst With Eddie Redmayne.
Remus Lupin has left the chat.
-
Remus Lupin to Ace Gang and don’t you dare change it sirius black: her name’s Lily Evans
Remus Lupin: Marlene McKinnon says she just moved here from Derby
James Potter: omg remus i could kiss you
Remus Lupin: Mar also said her family’s opened an organic shop on high st
Sirius Black: how nutritious
James Potter: no one asked you
-
James Potter to Sirius Black: what categories have you come up with for the physical attractiveness test
Sirius Black: skin hair eyes nose figure mouth teeth
Sirius Black: all out of ten
James Potter: fab ill do up a table in word now and go to the library first thing at break to print us 4 copies
Sirius Black: marvy
-
James Potter to sirius no one is going to dare you to hack into the school and play gasolina over the loudspeaker at assembly on monday so stop angling for it: which of you fuckers gave me a 3 for my eyes
Sirius Black: it was purely based on their functionality
Sirius Black: you can barely see without ur glasses
Sirius Black: very poor eyes
James Potter: so it wasn’t abt how i look
Sirius Black: i didn’t say that
James Potter: sirius uve rly hurt me
James Potter: what about the 4 for my mouth
Sirius Black: that one was bc you ordered pineapple on the pizza
James Potter: i told u it was an ACCIDENT
Remus Lupin: im retrospectively docking 2 points off every single category for both of you
Peter Pettigrew: Im docking 3
-
Remus Lupin to Ace Gang: have to ditch saturday afternoon lads
Sirius Black: um why
Peter Pettigrew: Yeah whats more important than season six of the simpsons
Remus Lupin: i got a job
Sirius Black: where
Remus Lupin: Evans’ Organic Trade
James Potter: YOU GOT A JOB IN EVANS’ SHOP AND YOU DIDNT THINK TO TELL ME
Remus Lupin: im literally telling you right now dickhead
Remus Lupin: also it’s time travel
Sirius Black: it is NOT time travel it is CLEARLY an alternate universe you dithering FOOL
Peter Pettigrew: You’re both wrong its a time loop
James Potter changed the group name to donnie darko is BANNED from the group discourse.
Peter Pettigrew: Just because YOU thought it was a dream
-
Sirius Black to Friends Of James Potter Support Group: OMG
Sirius Black: PETTIGREW I CANT BELIEVE UR MISSING THIS
Peter Pettigrew: Whats happening tell meeee
Sirius Black: we just went into lupins shop
Sirius Black: evans wasn’t even here
Sirius Black: she just came out with a cup of tea for lupin and james ACTUALLY screamed,,,,,,,,,,,, evans almost dropped the mug
Sirius Black: lupin just introduced us and shes given him this look like “they better not be loitering” so hes selling me onions so she doesn’t kick us out
Sirius Black: lupin i dont want these and i shant pay for them
Sirius Black: evans is trying to talk to prongs but hes just giving her heart eyes
Sirius Black: she just asked if hes in her french class and he SQUEAKED
Sirius Black: day 13. james has still not spoken a word of english to evans
Sirius Black: day 27. hes said “mfngggg” instead of yes the stupid git
Peter Pettigrew: Fucking hell im still in this stupid mother son bonding thing for another half hour
Sirius Black: MOTHER SON BONDING
Sirius Black: siri set a reminder to mock peter later
Sirius Black: lupin just took the tea and evans has revealed shes in a BAND
Sirius Black: prongs has found his voice (!) and hes making the aziz ansari :D face which, unfortunately, makes him look like a total prat
Peter Pettigrew: Rookie error
Sirius Black: she just told him they’re called the stiff dylans and he just nodded really seriously and said “great name” im going to knock him out if only to stop him embarrassing himself further the stupid git
Sirius Black: fun facts about lily evans: she plays bass and she thinks james has brain damage probably
Sirius Black: JAMES JUST INADVERTENTLY TOLD HER SHE HAS REALLY BIG HANDS AND SHE WAS DEADASS LIKE
Sirius Black: “……………………okay”
Peter Pettigrew: BIG HANDS
Sirius Black: HER CAT just came out and prongs has jumped on the opportunity my boy he did it he managed to steer his way onto a topic he knows something about
Sirius Black: more fun facts about lily evans: her cat is called elizabeth bennet and she thinks james has brain damage definitely
Sirius Black: evans laughed at “we just call him sir jeremy but his real name is sir jeremy cattington the third, prince of purrsia and king under the meowntain” thank god
Sirius Black: he told her about how he used to take sir jeremy on walks by the beach but he ate his collar and his lead why is he like this
Sirius Black: prongs my man you sound like an eharmony profile gone wrong
Sirius Black: she mentioned hr sister,,,,,,,,,,,petunia
Sirius Black: the evans parents had a thing for matching names me and evans have so much in common
Sirius Black: FLEAMONT JUST WALKED IN PETE I CANT BELIEVE U ARENT HERE I SWEAR TO GOD YOU COULD NOT WRITE THIS
Peter Pettigrew: Noooo omg
Sirius Black: monty: “james????? what are you doing here? you hate vegetbles”
Sirius Black: james: “haha dad you’re so funny but of course i LOVE vegetables as we all know”
Sirius Black: monty: “james. the last time your mother tried to serve you broccoli you threatened to run away from home”
Sirius Black: james: “haha i was a picky kid, wasn’t i”
Sirius Black: monty deadass just looked right at evans and said “james that was wednesday” that man is my Hero
Sirius Black: lupin literally ducked behind the counter so prongs couldn’t see him laughing the lucky git prongs is glaring daggers at me
Sirius Black: evans is giving him the WORST pitying look omg poor jam he looks like he did when chelsea lost the final last year
Sirius Black: evans is gone holy shit i cant believe u missed this pete
Peter Pettigrew: :(
-
James Potter to Sirius Black: how am i ever going to be able to face her again ??????
James Potter: i love my dad but he can be so beyond the valley of the thick sometimes
Sirius Black: he wasnt that bad
Sirius Black: i dont think evans even took any notice
James Potter: are u SURE my dad hasnt ruined it ????
Sirius Black: j
Sirius Black: it was reaaaally fab
James Potter: fabbity fab?
Sirius Black: with knobs on.
Sirius Black: besides im sure evans will understand
Sirius Black: all parents say stupid things sometimes
Sirius Black: shell probably like u more bc shell feel bad uve got a dad who’s BEYOND bonkerdom
James Potter: you’re right
Sirius Black: i kno :~)
James Potter: i love you but don’t ever send me that face again
-
Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: I can’t believe you told evans she has big hands
James Potter: you werent even THERE
-
Remus Lupin to Ace Gang :~): anyone seen black
James Potter: hes in detention
Remus Lupin: what for this time
James Potter: handing out onions at assembly
Peter Pettigrew: The onions from sunday??
Sirius Black: no peter, a completely different set of onions
Peter Pettigrew changed the group name to Sirius stop being mean to me.
-
James Potter to everyone be meaner than usual to peter: what the fuck is evans doing with snivellus
Sirius Black: wot
Peter Pettigrew: We just walked past them and it looked Really Bad
Peter Pettigrew: She was holding his hand
James Potter: what the FUCK has he got going on that i dont
James Potter: this is fucking ridiculous. snape. who the fuck does he think he is
Remus Lupin: ill see what i can find out at work on monday
-
James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: is it weird to like evans’ band on fb if we’re not friends
Peter Pettigrew: Just fucking add her dude
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Sirius Black to James Potter: look ive been doing some thinking and if u rly want 2 impress evans ur gonna have 2 up ur snogging game
James Potter: what the fuck
Sirius Black: dont argue im the best judge of this
Sirius Black: ur like. ok at kissing but i feel like u could b better
Sirius Black: there’s a kid on andy’s block who does snogging lessons after school his name is frank and hes a 7 maybe 7 and a half if u don’t wear ur glasses
James Potter: what is wrong with u
Sirius Black: u say that like ur not gonna look into it
James Potter: fuck off
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Peter Pettigrew to the queen does NOT wear a 44DD: Hes just gone in
Peter Pettigrew: Cant believe neither of you came you missed OUT
Remus Lupin: what happened
Peter Pettigrew: He knocked on the door and this bloke came out and like. Objectively and all but he is Fit™
Peter Pettigrew: And he looked prongs up and down and was like
Peter Pettigrew: "I dont usually do boys but christ if you dont look like the saddest git ive ever seen"
Peter Pettigrew: I gave him a thumbs up on the way in
Remus Lupin: cant believe i missed it
Sirius Black: how did u get the tm thing like that
Peter Pettigrew: Copy it and save it as a keyboard shortcut
Sirius Black: ™™™™™™™™™™™™™™™
Peter Pettigrew: Stop
Sirius Black: no™
Remus Lupin: what have you done
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Sirius Black to James Potter: so its like THAT is it ??????????? my kissing not good enough for you ?????????
James Potter: babe
James Potter: ur my first kiss ull always hold a special spot in my heart
Sirius Black: i need time
James Potter: YOU’RE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME ABOUT LONGBOTTOM IN THE FIRST PLACE YOU TWIT
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James Potter, Snogging Sensation to i, sirius black, am giving james potter the cold shoulder: he put on careless whisper
Sirius Black: WHAT
Sirius Black changed to group name to i, sirius black, am now only giving james potter the lukewarm shoulder.
James Potter, Snogging Sensation: and hes from saliva CITY hes got nothing on u babe i promise
Sirius Black changed the group name to in light of new information, james potter and i, sirius black, have reconciled.
Remus Lupin changed the group name to Ace Gang.
Sirius Black: buzzkill
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James Potter to gasolina is a Bad Song: mum’s got a promotion???????
Remus Lupin: tell her congrats
James Potter: it’s back in india though??????????????
Remus Lupin: oh
Sirius Black: you’re not moving are you
James Potter: i honestly don’t know
James Potter: im freaking out
James Potter: come round please
Peter Pettigrew: Holy shit
Peter Pettigrew: Ill pick everyone up
James Potter: they’re ruining my life and they still won’t let me have a party
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James Potter to Rip in pieces james’ life in england: i have a plan
Remus Lupin: here we go
James Potter changed the group name to don’t message me in that tone of voice lupin.
Sirius Black: whats the plan
James Potter: evans likes cats. i like cats. i have a cat. and if that cat got lost i would be distraught. and if evans knew how upset i was shed help me find him.
Sirius Black: but sir jeremy isnt lost
James Potter: evans doesnt know that OBVIOUSLY
James Potter: honestly sirius sometimes i think youre half boy half turnip
Remus Lupin: jesus christ
James Potter changed the group name to im warning you lupin.
James Potter: i “””lose””” sir jeremy but you lot have him at the park then when u see us coming u let him loose and evans will chase him down and shell feel like a hero and shell get so caught up in the euphoria of the moment that shell kiss me and realise that we’re perfect for each other
Remus Lupin: ur insane
James Potter removed Remus Lupin from the chat.
Peter Pettigrew: You GUYS you KNOW im in english right now
Sirius Black: ffs peter just turn your phone on do not disturb when ur in mcg’s class
Peter Pettigrew: But i always forget to turn it back
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James Potter to Sirius Black: i went round her shop but she said she was too busy helping her mum
Sirius Black: rip™
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Lily Evans has sent you a friend request. Accept / Decline
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Lily Evans to James Potter: begged off work. kno id be devo if i lost lizzy. wher r u?
James Potter: the beach
Lily Evans: be there asap x
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James Potter to Sirius Black: plans back on
Sirius Black: oh okay
Sirius Black: small prob™ sir jeremy actually got loose
James Potter: she ended her message with an x
James Potter: does this mean she likes me
James Potter: wait WHAT
-
James Potter to Lily Evans: thanks so much for your help on sunday
Lily Evans: it was my pleasure. even if your cat IS mental.
James Potter: im telling him you said that
Lily Evans: noooooooooo
James Potter: so
Lily Evans: ominous.
James Potter: are you glad you moved to eastbourne?
Lily Evans: i guess. it's pretty chill
Lily Evans: have u always lived here?
James Potter: yeah
James Potter: its called gods waiting room
James Potter: because people come here to die
Lily Evans: ur being dramatic.
Lily Evans: i heard eastbournes the new brighton.
James Potter: yeah
James Potter: as if
Lily Evans: idk i like it here. its more peaceful than derby and the beach is soo good for ~song writing inspo~
James Potter: what do you write ur songs abt ?
Lily Evans: idk. life
Lily Evans: the universe
Lily Evans: how reality tv’s brainwashing us
James Potter: wow
Lily Evans: ikr
James Potter: careful, you’re starting to sound like my dad
Lily Evans: i dont mind so much, your dad’s pretty cool.
James Potter: ????
Lily Evans: he comes into the shop a lot.
James Potter: oh my god
James Potter: promise you wont take anything he says about me seriously
Lily Evans: no problem aha
James Potter: what about your dad? does he work in the shop too?
Lily Evans: no, he’s :/
Lily Evans: he died.
James Potter: oh. im so sorry, lily.
Lily Evans: its okay. its why my mum moved us out here and opened up the shop.
Lily Evans: she always wanted one
Lily Evans: eastbourne is such a step back from derby and i like it because it means me and petunia can keep an eye on her you know?
James Potter: i think i understand why you like it here
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James Potter to evans showed prongs her O face: mum and dad are fighting about india again
Remus Lupin: fuck
Sirius Black: ):
Peter Pettigrew: )):
Sirius Black: stop trying to one up me, pettigrew
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Frank Longbottom has sent you a friend request. Accept / Decline
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James Potter to longbottom has the hots for prongs: mum’s just left
James Potter: so thats that then
Peter Pettigrew: Drinks at mine?
James Potter: yeah
-
James Potter to Remus Lupin: will you mention how shit snape is and how good i am when ur on shift with evans today
Remus Lupin: no you sad git i will not
James Potter: remus i LOVE her
James Potter: ill buy you a twix from the vending machine
Remus Lupin: alright
-
Sirius Black changed the group name to twix are grim.
Remus Lupin changed the group name to twix are grim but not as grim as curly wurlys.
Sirius Black: you’ve really hurt me, lupin
Remus Lupin: good.
-
James Potter to Remus Lupin: ???????????
James Potter: ur off shift now did you talk abt me ???????
Remus Lupin: no
Remus Lupin: and i already ate the twix so dont ask for it back
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Peter Pettigrew to evans thinks snape is a clingy sod #confirmed: Watch out prongs
James Potter: for what
Remus Lupin: for that, i assume
Sirius Black: im in lunch detention what happened
Remus Lupin: longbottom’s making a come on at james
Sirius Black: McYikes
Remus Lupin: “why havent you accepted my friend request?” – longbottom
Remus Lupin: “because were not friends” – james
Sirius Black: james ur gonna get urself decked one day
Sirius Black: so can u stop being a little shit when im not around to watch thanks
James Potter: no promises
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Remus Lupin to twin peaks season 3 fan theories club: sirius can you link me to that compilation video of diego luna saying he wants to touch jabba the hut
Remus Lupin: i want to show it to lily at work this afternoon
Sirius Black: ya sure
Sirius Black: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGKrc3A6HHM
Remus Lupin: if i follow that link and it isnt to the video i asked for im not going to be your partner for the history assignment
Sirius Black: ………………..
Sirius Black: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDU3PojzaHk
Remus Lupin: thank you
Peter Pettigrew changed the group name to Gasolina is banned from the group playlist.
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James Potter to Gasolina (INCLUDING all derivative remixes reimaginings and covers) is banned from the group playlist: EVANS LIKES STAR WARS
James Potter: ???!?!?!?!??!!!!!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?
Remus Lupin: james that was three hours ago get with the times
James Potter: but i was at P R A C T I C E
Sirius Black: too bad so sad
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Remus Lupin to Peter Pettigrew: WHOA
Peter Pettigrew: U watching from chem window?????
Remus Lupin: ya what just happened??????????????????
Peter Pettigrew: Snape tripped up james on the way to goal
Remus Lupin: is he ok??????
Peter Pettigrew: Hes got a bloody nose but hes okay
Remus Lupin: i meant snape
Peter Pettigrew: O na
Peter Pettigrew: I think james is gonna murder him lol
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Sirius Black to marauding fools quote unquote minnie mcgonagall: mary mcdonald in the year below is having a party tomorrow night n i charmed her into giving us all invites
Sirius Black: well, she invited ME and i guess u lads can come as my collective date
Remus Lupin: im already invited
James Potter: me too
Peter Pettigrew: She invited me three weeks ago
Sirius Black: i got invited after PETTIGREW ????????? who the fuck
Sirius Black: Im Not Going™
Remus Lupin: yes u are
Peter Pettigrew: Yes u are
James Potter: yes u are
Sirius Black: Yes I Am™
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Peter Pettigrew to Ace Gang: Why did you tell her i lost a SOCK ??????
Remus Lupin changed the group name to kickstarter to find peter’s missing third sock.
James Potter: i had to say SOMETHING
Remus Lupin: james, ever ridiculous under pressure
James Potter: besides, YOU’RE the one who pushed us behind a bush as if she would have thought it was weird that we at SCHOOL
Peter Pettigrew: I panicked
Peter Pettigrew: Lily said she thought snape tripping you was a dick move though  
James Potter: trying to distract me by mentioning evans, huh???
Peter Pettigrew: Is it working
James Potter: i wish i could say no
Remus Lupin: id like to point out lily also said you should go up for the school team
Remus Lupin: so she clearly doesn’t care enough about you to know that you’re already. captain
Sirius Black: lupin stop being a flaky bitch
Sirius Black: thats my job
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Peter Pettigrew to pres at james’ because its closest to mary’s NOT because its in any way a superior house to any other house accessible 2 the group: Did i just hear ur dad call u a minger
James Potter: if u have 2 ask u already kno the answer
Sirius Black: In Fleamont We Trust™
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Sirius Black to party boiis: PRONGS IS THAT YOU OUTSIDE WITH FRANK LONGBOTTOM
James Potter: he fucking ambushed me
James Potter: evans didn’t see did she ?????????????????????????
Peter Pettigrew: Nah dont think so
Sirius Black: hes lying she absolutely did
James Potter: fuck this im going home
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Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: i swear to god if you’re the one who just put on gasolina im blocking you
Sirius Black: (:
Remus Lupin: we arent friends
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Remus Lupin to James Potter: me and lily are going to the pool this afternoon
Remus Lupin: 2:30pm
Remus Lupin: in case you wanted to coincidentally turn up
James Potter: what so i can aggravate her by drowning snape?
Remus Lupin: snape isnt coming
James Potter: oh. why not?
Remus Lupin: probably afraid of water
James Potter: explains why he never washes
Remus Lupin: lmao
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James Potter to Sirius Black: me and moony are going to the pool and you’re coming
Sirius Black: as in the public pool????????
James Potter: obvi
Sirius Black: excusez-moi, c’est très grotesque
Sirius Black: im NOT going to the public pool little kids pee in that and the chlorine makes my hair go all frizzy
James Potter: i cant believe you’re abandoning me, your best friend, in his time of greatest need
Sirius Black: and you say IM dramatic
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Remus Lupin to Ace Gang: what happened after we left yesterday???????
James Potter: idk it was weird
James Potter: we did handstands and she made fun of my pale legs ): then she tried to drown me but in like a ~playful~ way
James Potter: and i told her im not with frank longbottom in any capacity and she said “well that’s good then”
James Potter: and then she kissed me
Sirius Black: SHE KISSED YOU
Sirius Black changed the group name to EVANS KISSED JAMES EVANS KISSED JAMES EVANS KISSED JAMES EVANS ! KISSED ! JAMES !.
Remus Lupin: get in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Peter Pettigrew: Result omg
James Potter: but then she said she had to go sort some stuff out and that she’d text me
Remus Lupin: oh, james
-
James Potter to Sirius Black: evans should text soon then that’s sorted and we should step up the party plans
James Potter: we’ve got so much left to sort
James Potter: venue, fashion statements, colour scheme
Sirius Black: you should do black and white
James Potter: ! marvy
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James Potter to Remus Lupin: what does it mean when a girl kisses you and says she’ll text you does it mean she’ll /text you or does it mean she’ll message you on facebook
James Potter: because there’s a big difference
James Potter: remus ???????????????????????????
Remus Lupin: james its 4 in the morning
James Potter: so???????? ur awake arent u ???????????????? what does it mean ??????
James Potter: remus uve kissed the most girls u have to know
James Potter: remus
James Potter: remus please
-
Frank Longbottom has sent you a friend request. Accept / Decline
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James Potter to Sirius Black: i need a drink
Sirius Black: what happened????
Sirius Black: im omw btw
James Potter: mum called and she wants me and dad to move out to india with her
James Potter: dad doesnt want to go but he also doesnt want to be away from mum any more im freaking out siri i might actually move back to india what the fuck
James Potter: and on top of that longbottom showed up at my house and tried to apologise how did he even get my address
Sirius Black: im here come open the door
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Alice theLaugh to James Potter: is it tru that ur gay?
James Potter: idk i dont reckon
Alice theLaugh: didnt think u were, lily said u werent
James Potter: really? what did she say ???????????
Alice theLaugh: just that she knows 4 sure u arent
Alice theLaugh: are u going to the stiff dylans gig saturday?
James Potter: not sure yet
-
James Potter to Sirius Black: she kissed me and then left me on read at 3:45
Sirius Black: aw :/
James Potter: shut the fuck up
James Potter: she didn’t even tell me abt her gig in brighton
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James Potter to james’ wet dream about evans: sirius i cannot believe you told my father about lily evans
Sirius Black: thats not fair
Sirius Black: u kno monty has an uncanny ability to get info out of me
Sirius Black changed James Potter’s nickname to the naff boy who had the sad party that no one went to.
the naff boy who had the sad party that no one went to: stop taking advantage of my vulnerability !
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Remus Lupin to Everyone sign up for hindi on duolingo out of solidarity to james: watch out lads james has his plan face on
Remus Lupin: brace for impact
Peter Pettigrew: Oh geez
James Potter: fuck off then lupin i wont tell u then
James Potter removed Remus Lupin from the chat.
James Potter: now that we’re alone
James Potter: im gonna make evans jealous
Peter Pettigrew: Im afraid to ask how
James Potter: im going with alice the laugh to the stiff dylans gig
Sirius Black: christ james that’s pretty shitty
Sirius Black: that was lupin
Sirius Black: i say first, what could possibly go wrong
Sirius Black: second, what the fuck is alice the laugh’s real last name
Sirius Black: ive known her for 6 years and i dont know what it is
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Peter Pettigrew to Friends Of James Potter Support Group: Say aye if ur completely unsurprised to learn i just overheard james respond to alice the laugh telling him he looks good tonight with “thanks, you’re very honest”
Sirius Black: aye
Remus Lupin: aye
Peter Pettigrew: “Alice you make me laugh like a loon on loon tablets”
Sirius Black: #yikes
Sirius Black: i have the shot
Remus Lupin: take it
-
Alice theLaugh to James Potter: i had a great time tonight
James Potter: haha me too
Alice theLaugh: best night of my life x
James Potter: o.k. see you at school on monday
-
Lily Evans to Sirius Black: so ur the one who put on gasolina at mary mcdonald’s party.
Sirius Black: what makes u say that ?
Lily Evans: you shouted “play gasolina” no less than 11 times last night.
Sirius Black: that doesnt sound like me
Sirius Black: are u sure it wasnt lupin ?
Sirius Black: that worldly bastard he sure does love puerto rican music
Lily Evans: i just texted him and he said “im surprised sirius even knows what puerto rico is”.
Sirius Black: fucker
-
Sirius Black to James Potter: oi cheer up
Sirius Black: what are you thinking about?
James Potter: poor alice
James Potter: i keep seeing her face when she tried to kiss me
James Potter: god i feel like such an arse for leading her on
-
James Potter to Alice theLaugh: you okay? you looked pretty upset in maths
Alice theLaugh: hope your plan worked
James Potter: what?
Alice theLaugh: marlene mckinnon overheard black telling lupin that you only went out with me to make lily jealous
Alice theLaugh: you’re a heartless user
Alice theLaugh: what you did, that’s just pants, that is
James Potter: i’m really sorry, alice
Alice theLaugh: i really thought you thought i was a laugh
-
Sirius Black to James Potter: i told you im sorry
Sirius Black: are you really going to ignore me over this
Sirius Black: like for real james pull your head out of your arse for twenty seconds and realise how shitty you’re being
Sirius Black: all your scheming and pretending
Sirius Black: honestly it’s no wonder evans never fucking texted you
James Potter: don’t talk to me again.
-
Lily Evans to James Potter: you’ve really pissed off a lot of people.
Lily Evans: alice is really cut up. she’s my mate, james.
James Potter: i didnt mean to use her.
James Potter: you never texted me when you said you would
Lily Evans: i handled it really badly, i know
Lily Evans: things got messy
Lily Evans: i didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
James Potter: so you were thinking of breaking up with snape and then you were gonna text me?
Lily Evans: lmao what
Lily Evans: severus and i aren’t together.
James Potter: but you hold his hand
Lily Evans: i hold marlene’s had too but that doesnt mean im dating her.
Lily Evans: you know how much he hates you and it makes it hard, james, but yeah, i was gonna text you.
Lily Evans: and then i saw you with alice at my gig and i was gutted.
Lily Evans: but that’s different now.
Lily Evans: i thought YOU were different than that james but you’re not, you’re just some fuck off rich kid who only thinks about himself.
Lily Evans: i think it’s probably best if you don’t message me again.
-
James Potter to Remus Lupin: had a talk with lily. turns out shes not actually with snape.
Remus Lupin: i actually do not care, james. work things out with sirius or fuck off.
-
James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: i think i might have just gotten my mum fired
Peter Pettigrew: Go on, i guess
James Potter: i went to her office and talked to her boss and i think i just made things worse
Peter Pettigrew: Yeah, you’re getting pretty good at that
James Potter: i guess i am, yeah.
James Potter: im cancelling the party and ive told dad i want to move to india
James Potter: if either of the others ask
Peter Pettigrew: I’ll pass it on.
-
James Potter to Lily Evans: hi.
James Potter: i know you didn’t want me to message you again and i don’t blame you for that but i have to say this and then it’s done.
James Potter: what you said really hurt, but you were right. it wasnt me. it was beyond pants, and i really am sorry. i messed everything up with you, and with alice and with sirius and i guess i just got caught up in my own idea of how our lives should be and i got carried away
Lily Evans: i cut all ties with severus last night.
James Potter: oh.
Lily Evans: yeah.
Lily Evans: you know, i wrote a song about you.
James Potter: really?
Lily Evans: its called Bitch In A Uniform.
Lily Evans: i wrote it when i was pissed off with you.
Lily Evans: but i still like you, james. even though you’re mental.
James Potter: no you don’t
Lily Evans: i do.
Lily Evans: i cant stop thinking about you. i was hoping
Lily Evans: maybe
Lily Evans: we can go out?
James Potter: oh, fuck
Lily Evans: ?
James Potter: im moving to india
Lily Evans: what the fuck is wrong with you
Lily Evans: you’re so
Lily Evans: random
James Potter: 100% legit this time.
Lily Evans: that’s a goddamn shame.
Lily Evans: im at the beach if you wanted to come hang out.
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James Potter to Sirius Black: feels really shitty without you
James Potter: im so so sorry
James Potter: can you ever forgive me?
Sirius Black: ur gonna have to buy me at least 16 curly wurlys
James Potter: its done.
Sirius Black: happy birthday you massive tosser xxx
-
joe to the jonas brothers: operation stun-the-pants-off-james-with-an-amazing-surprise-party is a go
joe changed the group name to Friends Of James Potter Support Group.
nick: oh thank GOD
kevin: I was wondering how long you’d hold out
nick: you’re both so stupid
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James Potter to prongs is finally legal ;): cant believe all you wankers are busy tonight
James Potter: like i know we were all in a fight but you ALL have plans ????????
James Potter: dad’s taken pity on me and is taking me to a club this is the saddest 18th ever
Remus Lupin: sry fam
Peter Pettigrew: Lol
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JAMES POTTER’S SUPER SECRET 18TH BIRTHDAY PARTY Private º Hosted by Sirius Black and 2 others.
312 going º 167 maybe 27 March 19:30 – 28 March 8:00
Details james is a prat but hes our best friend so lets all get together and show him that being legal to drink doesnt take away the fun of it !! event will have an open bar courtesy of mr & mrs p
theme is black and white !
only one rule : DONT TELL JAMES ABOUT IT anyone who does will be blacklisted from the party loool good luck telling your grandkids about how you didn’t get to come to the most important party of our generation
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Peter Pettigrew to Fleamont Potter: The eagle has landed i repeat the eagle has landed
Fleamont Potter: Thanks son :~) Jem’s going to be so excited to see his mum.
Fleamont Potter: We’re up on the balcony by the bar, send her our way :~)
Peter Pettigrew: Will do, sarge
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Lily Evans: happy birthday xxx hope you like ur present.
James Potter: my present?
James Potter: OH MY GOD
James Potter: YOU WROTE ME A SONG ?!?!?!
James Potter: lily evans i honestly think i love you
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Marlene McKinnon to Remus Lupin: we can’t hear properly from up the back what did snape just say
Remus Lupin: “james potter is a girl-nabbing letch who can’t keep his slutty minx hands off other peoples’ girlfriends”
Marlene McKinnon: WHAT
Remus Lupin: “you’re just a big fat minging minger with horridious eyesight and the opposite of a haircut”
Remus Lupin: don’t worry, black’s filming the whole thing im sure it’ll be on youtube asap
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Sirius Black to Ace Gang except all of us are legal™ now: id be lying if i said i remembered anything past monty and effy swing dancing
Remus Lupin: im fairly certain i walked in on frank longbottom and alice the laugh fucking in the mens
Remus Lupin: but i, too, am fuzzy on the details
Peter Pettigrew: I woke up at the lido. No idea how i got there
Remus Lupin: i just found this in my camera roll
Remus Lupin set a photo.
Peter Pettigrew: What the fuck
Remus Lupin: i have no memory of taking this and im glad of that fact because the camerawork here is shameful
James Potter: YOU’RE KIDDING
James Potter: YOU DON’T REMEMBER PETER FINDING A RAT IN THE BINS BEHIND THE CRICKET CLUB
James Potter: AND NAMING IT INIGO MONTOYA
James Potter: PETER YOU STILL HAD IT WHEN I LEFT YOU FOUR HOURS LATER
Peter Pettigrew: I mean that definitely sounds like me
James Potter changed Peter Pettigrew’s nickname to cryptid: ratboii.
cryptid: ratboii: Cheers
cryptid: ratboii: Where did you get to, anyway?
James Potter: me and evans went to the beach
Remus Lupin: cuuuuuute
Sirius Black: and you didnt invite ME
James Potter: sirius you were passed out by 11 o clock
Sirius Black: WHAT
James Potter: yeah, evans poured you a quadruple shot of jager after you played gasolina through your iphone six times in a row
Sirius Black: you convinced me to drink JAGER??????????!?!?!?!??!!!!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!?
James Potter: i told you it was sambuca black and somehow that was okay with you
Sirius Black: wtf™
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James Potter added a life event. DIDN’T move to India 56 likes
James Potter commented: love reacts only pls
Peter Pettigrew commented: A N G E R Y R E A C T
James Potter replied to Peter Pettigrew’s comment: ???????
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Peter Pettigrew to James Potter: I did duolingo every day even though ur not actually moving and im not gonna let it go to waste
Peter Pettigrew: बकरी मेरी प्रेमिका है
James Potter: peter you know i. cant read hindi i can only speak it right
Peter Pettigrew: ):
James Potter: i showed mum and she laughed and said it was cute
Peter Pettigrew: (:
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Sirius Black shared a video to James Potter’s timeline: “Stiff Dylans performance interrupted by GREASY RACIST exclusive”
Lily Evans commented: tag urself im the girlfriend
Remus Lupin commented: im peter in the background trying to get out of the shot but sirius keeps moving so hes still in frame
Sirius Black commented: im prongs’s slutty minx hands
James Potter commented: im the look on snapes face when lily kisses me
Peter Pettigrew commented: Im james drawing attention to the fact he conned lily into kissing him because he thinks weve all somehow missed him telling us every two seconds for the last three days
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James Potter is in a relationship with Lily Evans. 346 likes
Peter Pettigrew commented: Love react
Sirius Black commented: jealous react
Remus Lupin commented: L O V E R E A C T
1K notes · View notes