#also btw I bought forces last night! feels...not...good. but I did make a funny little green cat I'll probably draw eventually
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ROBOT MAID FAILGIRL BE UPON YE. (SHE/HER)
Sean was put together with a bunch of wrecked pieces of shadow androids and metal prototypes to act as a maid for a mobian scientist. Unfortunately, said scientist is...not the best engineer, and her coding is 5% Shadow, 15% Metal Sonic, and 80% anxiety ridden spaghetti code. She's a 99% more likely to start crying very loudly in response to any sort of actual conflict than to start fighting anything.
#sean the metal amalgamate#sonic robot oc#metal sonic#shadow android#sonic oc#her name's suposed to be a combo of Sha+Son bc I did want to name her after some ship name#made her to be very level 1 goblin coded#also btw I bought forces last night! feels...not...good. but I did make a funny little green cat I'll probably draw eventually#bought it along with mania as well to play after since they were both on sale#to be fair I haven played a sonic game since secret rings when I was like. nine.#if you want to know what my experience back then was like. secret rings is the reason I hadn't touched a sonic game in literally 16 years
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peculiar taste| (m)
Words: 2.8k
Pairing: Taehyung x Reader
Genre: Smut, Fluff, pwp
Summary: Unknowingly, you find out that your feet pics are roaming around twitter just to find out that your room mate runs the page.
Warnings: FOOT STUFF, foot job ( idk if thats a thing), foot fetish
a/n: There’s a lot of foot stuff so if that makes you uncomfortable then don’t read it. Btw if there’s other weird kinks/fetishes that you think a member would like just comment or message me.
Twitter is a scary place, you never had it until your friend from work told you to download it because there’s funny memes. So when you downloaded it you were not surprised that there were weird foot pictures. See you were not one to shame someone who has weird fetishes but this was different. Oddly enough the picture had the same pedicure as you and the same tattoo on your ankle. Deciding to go on the page you notice there were pictures of your feet, the black heels you owned were there too.
Is someone spying on you? There is a sudden noise from the kitchen and you jolt in fear, holding the phone close to you as you walk towards the noise. The fear disappears when you see your roommate slash friend Taehyung eating pickles from the jar. “ Hey, wanna go to the park? We can have a little picnic,” Taehyung munches the last part before putting it back in the fridge. “ What’s wrong?” He notices your worried face.
Shaking your head, not sure if you should tell him your worries. Taehyung would probably freak out more than you, he’ll probably call the FBI to install high tech cameras around the apartment. “ Nothing,” you smile. “ I’m down but I’m making the food. Last time you just packed onions and capri suns,” you move him aside to pull out bread to make sandwiches.
He gives you his signature boxy smile, “ Sorry you don’t have an acquired taste,” he shrugs.
---
When you guys get back from the park you immediately lay in your bed tired from all the running that Taehyung made you do. It was supposed to be a relaxing picnic, however Taehyung forced you to play tag with the children in the park. When you first met Taehyung you thought he was a quiet and stuck up person because of his emotionless face whenever he was sitting with people. But that all changed when you got to know him better, he was just a funny and weird person but in a good way. Needless to say you don’t ever want him to move out because he is just a fun person to have around.
The ping rings loudly on your phone, you get a message from your mom. You quickly text her back and then go on twitter to the foot fetish page to inspect it more. Maybe DM the person to see where they get these pics. Your eyes widen when you see a new picture that was uploaded a few minutes ago, your feet in your sandals that you just bought last week. Along with the picnic blanket that you use when you go to the park with Taehyung.
Jumping out of your bed you run to Taehyung’s room to demand answers from him, but he is currently playing Uno by himself. “ I’m trying to practice so I can win next time we play with Jungkook and Namjoon,” he places the green card down.
“ It’s Uno. The easiest game in the world, it was literally made for children,” you groan in frustration. Taehyung shrugs then goes back to his game and places the reverse card to the pile. “ That’s why I’m not here,” you shake your head. “ Why are my feet on a fetish page on twitter?”
His sharp eyes widen, you can’t tell if it’s due to shock or confusion. The brows are covered from his wavy black hair, lips parted in an ‘oh’ shape. “ Okay, don’t get mad. I have been posting you foot pics in exchange for money,” he puts his hands up when you throw his pillow at him.
“ Taehyung! I can’t believe you,” you sigh. You became a renowned foot fetish star without any acknowledgment. What if people start to recognize you on the streets? Now you can never wear sandals.
“ I should’ve told you but I knew you were going to be against it,” Taehyung gets, ignoring the Uno cards and going up to you. His large hands come together holding them in front. “ If you want to take me to the police I understand. But make sure you feed the racoon that’s been secretly hiding in the garden shed,” he gives his puppy eyes. You can’t ever get mad at Taehyung, no matter what. It’s like he has this power that doesn’t make anyone upset.
Sighing, you gently push his hands down to his sides, “ I’m not turning you in,” you say. His remorse features immediately vanish, now becoming gleeful, as he engulfs you in a bear hug. If he’s getting paid you wonder how much he is making off of your feet. “ So how much money have you made so far?” The bed sinks as you sit down on it.
Taehyung's finger scratches his head, trying to remember how much the thirsty people on Twitter paid. “ Hmm, like a couple hundred. I’m saving the money so we can get a new tv.”
The TV you guys had was found by Taehyung who was riding his bike around the neighborhood. An old man was giving it out and Taehyung called you excitedly asking you to bring your car so you can bring it back home. Upon your arrival you see an old blocky Sony tv that doesn’t even have an HDMI port. Taehyung convinced you that it was vintage and it would match the interior design of the apartment. “ Do people actually like that stuff ?” You ask while looking at your feet. What a weird thing to fetishize you think to yourself.
Taehyung's hair floofs as he jumps back on the bed grabbing his phone that’s beside you. “ Yes. A lot of people,” he quickly unlocks his phone. “ Look, this man was willing to pay sixty dollars for you to have a foot massage,” you look at the DM. “ There’s also other requests. Like you wearing heels, stockings, and other weird things,” he shrugs putting his phone away.
People pay money for this, and you guys do need some money. It wouldn’t hurt to have a little extra cash for stuff. No one is ever gonna find out that it’s your feet. “ Let’s keep doing it,” you look at Taehyung, whose eyes widen at your words.
“ Really?” Taehyung asked in a serious tone. Wanting to make sure that you actually want to do it not because of his stupid mistake.
“ Yeah, it would be nice to have extra cash,” you nod your head.
----
“ This feels really weird,” you flinch at the stickiness of the honey pouring on your feet. Taehyung makes a hand motion for you to keep pouring it as he films it on his phone. Your face is not in view so no one can see the weird faces you're making as the stickiness goes in between your toes. Just another weird request from a person. This guy is paying sixty dollars for this, so who cares that you are pouring honey on your feet.
Taehyung nods and gives the okay sign, ending the video. “ I feel bad that the bees are dying and we are wasting their precious honey on your feet,” he pouts before leaving to retrieve a wet towel. He tosses it to you so you can wipe the honey off before walking on the floor.
The wet towel doesn’t help much so you decide to wash it. “ Yeah, we should visit the bee sanctuary to give our condolences,” you joke as you run to the bathtub to wash your feet with soap.
“ That would be nice,” Taehyung smiles watching you wash your feet. He hears you laugh, “ Oh you were kidding,” he laughs along with you. The phone pings and he grabs it from his back pocket, looking at the DM’s. ***800 dollar request *** Taehyung reads loudly, eyes widening at the words. He reads the request to himself, heart beating fast because this is actually a sexual request. Also because this is the most someone is willing to spend on a video. For the past month it's only been under the hundreds that people spent on your feet.
Your voice startles him, “ What are they asking for you?” Turning off the faucet you give your undivided attention to him.
Taehyung gulps then scratches the back of his neck, “ Uh- he wants you to use your feet to fondle someone’s dick,” he coughs at the end. There’s a silence that washes over you guys. “ Yeah, I can just decline-”
“ Would I be fondling you?,” you ask. Taehyung tucks his phone back in his pocket then sits next to you.
Taehyung puts his hand on your shoulder, his eyes are looking at you seriously. “ We don't have to do this.”
It’s 800 hundred dollars that you guys would be missing out on.“ I want to do it. Our faces won’t be showing, right?” You really don’t mind just as long as Taehyung is comfortable doing it with you.
Taehyung exhales, nodding his head, “ Yeah no faces.” His heart beats faster as he looks at your feet.
***
“ Let me wash my feet one more time,” you go get up to use the bathroom one more time. Taehyung tugs you back down the bed.
“ You already did it twice before you came to my room,” he lets out a chuckle. “ Don’t be nervous,” he sits on his chair. He grabs your foot gently placing it on his thigh. Large hands rubbing your ankle to calm you down. “ I’ll give you a foot massage and we’ll go from there,” he says softly. There’s a different mood between the two of you. It’s not like the usual playful mood that you guys have. It's heavier, if that makes sense.
Nodding your head, his big hands rub your feet. Rolling out any tension on the center of your foot, you sigh not used to this kind of attention in that area. His hands are like magic making all the stress on your foot disappear. At one point you close your eyes in relaxation feeling your body get lighter. Immediately your eyes open when you feel lips kissing your ankle, his soft lips leave a few more kisses as your eyes meet his dark eyes. Looking down you see a hard on “ Taehyung,” you whisper. He puts your foot back on his thigh, “ Should I start recording?,” you ask. Your hands shake, bringing his phone into your hands.
Taehyung lets out a quiet hum, indicating for you to do so. You hold the phone tightly, pressing the record button. Last night you did some research looking at feet groping and you feel kind of confident. Hopefully, you don’t embarrass yourself or make Taehyung immediately walk out of the room. Your right foot teasingly goes up and down his thigh, looking carefully at Taehyung’s reaction. He lets out a groan when you get close to his bulge but goes to the other thigh doing the same action as before.
“ Baby please,” Taehyung's voice is hoarse. The pet name surprises you in a good way but you quickly remind yourself that he is only calling you that so your name won’t be exposed. His hand goes to your leg, running his fingers against your calf. Listening to his request you trail your foot to his bulge, lightly brushing the tip of your toes. He lets out a breathy exhale, looking down at your foot taunting him.
You never thought you’d be into this, maybe it is the position. There’s some kind of power you hold as you get to dictate whether you should make him feel pleasure by the pressure of your foot. The way Taehyung’s breath quickens when you apply more pressure, his eyes giving you a sultry look. Your foot applies more pressure, toes spreading feeling the outline of his bulge. Doing slow circles, trying to feel more of him. His hand tightens on your leg, “ Fuck, right there,” Taehyung closes his eyes for a quick second. The hardness of his cock turns you on, you feel the thickness of it beneath your foot and you know he probably has a big cock.
“ Does my foot feel good, baby?” You condescendly ask. His eyes look into yours surprise of your tone and question. His jaw clenching, looking hot and bothered, a new look that you want to store in your memory. “ Look at you getting turned on just by my foot,” you tsk in disappointment. Applying more pressure you arch your eyebrow still expecting an answer from him.
Taehyung hisses in pleasure, “ Yeah, your foot feels good,” he tosses his head when you rub your foot harder up and down his clothed cock. “ It feels to fucking good,” he whispers more to himself.
“ Take your cock for me baby,” you command him. Taehyung gives you a face of relief immediately taking his cock out of his pants and briefs. And you were right about his cock being thick and big. Now you just want to feel it in your hands and your mouth, actually everywhere. The precum is leaking, begging to be touched. The heel of your foot meets his hard cock, and he flinches but then immediately going back to your touch. “ Spit on it,” you look down, indicating Taehyung to spit on his cock.
He groans loud at your assertion, not used to this. Taehyung never sees this side of you, having a higher authority. You're usually compliant and listen to whatever he wants to do. He follows your words, spitting on his cock, as he watches your two feet come together cupping the thickness of his cock. Jerking him up and down.“ Shit shit,” he curses at himself for wanting to come right now.
“ It’s not even my pussy and you're already a moaning mess,” you chuckle to yourself. His eyes are downcast to the slow movement of your feet. The small breathy moans are getting louder, and you love the sound of it.
If your feet are this good he can’t imagine what your pussy would feel like. He wants to desperately ask if he can fuck it later but he puts his thoughts away trying not to moan your name loudly. The movements get faster and he thinks this is the fastest time he has ever come. “ I’m going to come baby. Can I come please?” He looks up at your face, and notices a dark gaze, and he wants to kiss the evil smirk off your face.
You wouldn’t be surprised if you creamed your pants right now at the sight of his begging and climaxing. “ Mmm, so soon?” You teasingly ask. Taehyung shamelessly nods, his hands clenching at nothing. “ Come all over my feet dirty boy,” your eyes watch carefully at his pretty bottom lip getting bitten by his teeth.
Before you know it Taehyung is tossing his head back, “ Fuck,” he lets out a loud drawl. His head Adam apple is bobbing and his pretty collar bones are getting more exposed. White spurts all over your feet and you keep fondling him until he holds your ankle in place. He finally looks down at the mess he made, surprised at how much he come.
You stop recording, placing the phone down the bed. There’s a towel next to you, you pull your feet towards you wiping the come off your feet. “ Can you kiss me?” Your head snaps to Taehyung’s question. His eyes don’t have the same lustful gaze but some hint of fondness.
Nodding your head, you are about to kiss him until you realize that you ate sushi about an hour ago. Fearing that he probably can taste it from your mouth you pull back shaking your head. “ Let me brush my teeth real quick,” you try to walk to the bathroom. Until Taehyung laughs brightly pulling you back and pecking your lips softly.
The kiss makes you swoon and want to kiss him more but he pulls away too soon. “ Why did you want to kiss me?” You ask him not wanting to get your hopes high. But your heart is already beating hard because it’s Taehyung who kissed you.
“ I like you,” Taehyung shrugs nonchalantly. “ Why did you agree to kiss me?” He asks you while holding your hand.
“ I like you,” you do the same gesture as him. Taehyung smiles and leans towards your lips and you clothes your eyes expecting a kiss until you feel him push you back. Opening your eyes you see him pull his shirt over his head, and you're surprised to his slightly defined chest and v line.
“ Even when I annoy you and cause nothing but trouble for you?” Taehyung looks down at you biting his bottom lip, a nervous tick he has.
You smile bringing his large hand down, pecking it lightly, “ That’s the best part though,” then pulling him down to kiss him.
#bts#bts smut#btssmut#taehyung#tae#bts taehyung#taehyung smut#taehyung fluff#Taehyung one shot#taehyung x you#taehyung x y/n#taehyung x reader#taehyung imagine#bts fluff#bts x y/n#bts imagine#bts x reader#bts fic#bts fanfic#bts fanfction#taehyung fic#taehyung fanfic
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Lost and Found
250 followers! Thank you! I couldn’t edit this, it’s pretty late where I live, but I think it turned out pretty well and I'llprobably edit it in the morning, so, ugh, enjoy!
btw I just realized this is my 25th post and it’s funny since it’s also 250 followers thank you post hehe also a last minute edit of oh shit I had a taglist and like ily aah first time tagging someone @astroninaaa
Bakugou x fem!cat quirk!reader
warnings: kissing, cursing, it’s 7.6k- I swear I tried to keep it short but I couldn’t, being very annoying to each other- I don’t know tbh
genre: fluff, enemies to lovers au
***
It wasn’t a secret that you and your neighbor didn’t like each other, but what many people didn’t know was how deep this dislike was. You were in a war, fighting each other openly or secretly, but always finding a way to irritate each other to the most.
You groaned when you heard loud thuds coming from the apartment right next to you, waking you from your one of many daily naps. Trying to go back to sleep, you closed your eyes and snuggled even deeper to the blanket fort you have made, but had to open them once again when you heard a louder thud followed with a string of curses, and guessed that he probably had tossed into another furniture. Really, how long does it take for one to get used to the placement of their furniture?
Pressing the pillow you were hugging to your ear to cancel out the noise, you took a deep, irritated breath, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to sleep again. You could hear his every move, whether it was because of your heightened hearing abilities, or because he was generally a loud person, you weren’t sure. When you finally heard him settling down on the couch, you hoped to sleep, groaned with frustration when he turned the tv on, and like always, on the loudest setting.
”Oh my god!” You screamed into your pillow, sitting up from your sleeping position. Everything was much better before he had moved to the place right next to you. When you didn’t work on your college assignments, you usually slept when you were home, so you wished for silence, and you had no problems with that whatsoever until he moved to the apartment next to you.
Though you weren’t the only one unhappy because of their neighbor. Bakugou, too lost countless hours of sleep because of the cats whining and screaming every night, since it was really common of your quirk for the cats to feel and want to be closer to you. It was like every cat in the damn neighborhood was pulled to you, and they all seemed to be very agitated since they just never shut up. Bakugou needed his sleep -so did you, but it seemed he wasn’t aware of that… or simply didn’t care- and it affected his life enormously when he couldn’t get his sleep, as it had been affecting him the past few weeks.
He had bought a cat repellant for that, a device that released a sound only cats could hear, to prevent the cats from lurking around the building, not even thinking of its effect on you. After only an hour of using the device, he heard a very aggressive knock on his door, only to find his downstairs neighbor glaring at him. Her hair disheveled and ruffled like a cat’s fur would be when it was angry, purple bags under her eyes, and her face pale, looking like she came to his door straight from a war.
He also noticed how one of your socks were missing, and the odd scene of one clothed and one bare foot made him want to laugh. He didn’t know it was because of the many cats that liked to steal your stuff since they thought of your scent relaxing.
It wasn’t the first time he had seen you, but it still took a moment for him to recognize you. His gaze wandered on the tail wagging behind you and the pair of cat ears on your head, grimacing when he caught himself thinking about how cute you looked.
”What do you want?” He asked with a glare as intense as yours, but you gritted your teeth and kept glaring without answering his question. He could see your cat ears twitching with the now increased sound since you were closer to the source. ”What- what the fuck is that?”
”What is what?” Bakugou raised his shapely brows, though he was well aware of the reason you were here. Your eyes roaming in the room, trying to find where this goddamn noise was coming from, you looked so irritated that he felt his lips twitching to a smile at the sight.
Without waiting for him to invite you in -not that he would do that- you entered his house, walking to the table that stood in the middle of the room. Your ears were twitching constantly with irritation, your tail not moving anymore.
”Hey, what the fuck are you doing, just walking in my damn appartement?!” He shouted, holding and pulling you back from your elbow, but you easily pulled yourself free from his grip with the adrenaline flowing in your veins. And Bakugou was a smart man, one look you sent his way told him to stay away from you.
The room was unexpectedly tidy, especially for a guy as impatient and angry as him, and the caramel scent you always sensed whenever you saw him now even stronger. A small, black device on the table caught your eye, noticing it was that that caused you to go insane.
”This! What the fuck is this? ” You took it to your hands and brought it closer to your eyes to examine it closer, though the ongoing noise making you shriek with discomfort.
”Is this a cat repellant?!” You blurted out, now even angrier. Quickly putting the device back to its place, he noticed the pure disgust on your face. You turned back to face him, meeting his blood-red eyes that were twinkling with amusement. Seeing him enjoying this made your blood boil, you physically had to hold yourself back from jumping on him and ripping that stupidly good looking smile off of his face.
”You bastard,” you choked out when he didn’t answer, ”you bought a cat repellant?!” Pressing every button on the device, you desperately tried to stop the sound. ”Of course I did.” He answered, the amused look in his eyes now gone with your insult. ”Your cats wouldn’t let me sleep! They’re so fucking annoying.”
”Is that so? ” You asked, taking a deep breath of relief when you finally closed that shitty device off. ”Am I supposed to buy a Bakugou repellant, then? Since you’re so fucking annoying, too. ” You shot back, and you had to admit, it wasn’t nearly as clever as you wanted it to be, but it still worked since Bakugou was seemingly fuming.
”You little- You have the audacity to come into my house, force yourself in, and talk to me like this? You really are as dumb as you look.”
Your eyes narrowed, hands itching to throw a punch right across his handsome face. When you stood silent he sighed with annoyance. ”Get out already! I don’t have time for this shit.” He pulled you towards the exit, but you still had much to say. Apparently, Bakugou knew what you were thinking since when you didn’t exit the room, he simply took the device and turned it on.
Hearing the sound so suddenly made you choke on your words for a second or so, making you want to carve your ears out. ”You- you-” You tried to talk, but he couldn’t care less.
”I said get out.” He ordered, and you did, though not because you were afraid of him, but because the sound was unbearable. Storming out of the room, you promised yourself to annoy him as much as he did you.
This day was the beginning of the war between you two (though you never once heard that noise again after that day, and you were secretly grateful… not that you would admit to that).
You made the cats jump on him when they saw him, get in his apartment, and shed as much as they could whenever they had the chance, making them steal his socks and small trinkets just to piss him off, so in return, he became the loudest neighbor ever. Using the tv in the loudest setting, playing that goddamn drum set every now and then -hitting hit like his life depended on it-, training on the punching bag he hung on the wall that was joint with your wall, you could swear he bought the loudest vacuum cleaner available, and he always played that horrible horrible music that was almost as bad as the cat repellant.
Your cats left furballs in his balcony, he sprayed lemon juice to your balcony, somehow knowing the citrus smell always made you gag and gave you the worst headaches. It went on and on, and it was just getting tiresome at this point, but neither of you was willing to back off.
Stretching your muscles that were stiff from sitting in one place for a long time, you couldn’t help the cat-like moan coming out of your lips, remembering you had another assignment that was due a week from today, though knowing yourself, you would either do it today or the last day. Deciding it was better to at least start it today, you stood up, going towards the kitchen to fix yourself something to eat, though the sudden lack of noise coming from next door making your ears perk up with curiosity.
You listened to him a bit, trying to guess why he was so quiet all of a sudden, but shrugged to yourself and took a snack out of your cupboard. You were going to the balcony to work on the assignment when you heard the water running, explaining the sudden lack of noise.
Since the marble ground in the balcony always made your feet feel cold, you looked for your socks, and you could swear you left them right on the counter, though it wasn’t much of a shock not to find them there. The cats loved to steal or move stuff that belonged to you, and a small part in you felt a little better since Bakugou was going through the same thing.
Since you and Bakugou shared a balcony and both enjoyed being outdoors, it was hard to escape each other, and crossing paths out there always led to the worst arguments. So you were glad to have some quiet time you could spend alone here.
You sat down, sipping on your coffee as you tried to find a comfortable position. As you opened a new word document, you bit your lip, thinking of a strong sentence to start the essay. It was always the hardest to write the first few sentences, you thought. You made a motion to tie your hair, only to find your hair tie missing, too.
Diving deep in your thoughts, writing and erasing the different versions of the same sentence, you hadn’t realized Bakugou was done with his shower, nor had you noticed him and another familiar face coming out, joining you in the balcony.
“Oh, hey Y/N-chan!” You heard someone call out to you, the sound making you let out a small shriek of surprise. It was Kirishima, one of the rare people who visited Bakugou often. His red hair was as spiky as ever, and it always made you wonder how he styled his hair to get that spiky style. Kirishima’s hair always had that hair-gel smell to it, unlike Bakugou’s caramel and mint-scented ones, indicating Kirishima’s hair was not naturally spiky.
“Hey, hey- It’s just me!” He told you when he heard your shriek and noticed how you tucked your tail anxiously between your legs. It took you a few seconds for your nerves to calm down and accept that he wasn’t a threat. “Oh, I’m sorry Kiri-kun. I wasn’t paying attention.” You said with an apologetic smile, noticing how Bakugou winced as you called his friend Kiri-Kun.
Bakugou had a pair of shorts and a shirt on, the black shirt clinging to his frame that caused your ears to twitch in embarrassment of your thoughts.
His ashy hair was still a bit damp, though it was obvious he blow-dried them. You didn’t expect less from the control-freak, though, you could do without that mind-fuzzing caramel scent of his.
“Oh, were you working on something?” Kirishima smiled sweetly as he glanced on your computer screen. “Yeah,” you answered with a pout that meant it’s-not-going-well, making his smile wider. “It’s not important, though.” You closed the screen since you weren’t actually doing anything other than looking at the blank word document.
“Oi, shitty hair!” Bakugou called out when you kept talking with his friend, both of you ignoring him in his part of the balcony. “Come here.”
“Aww, missed me already?” Kirishima teased, causing Bakugou to growl with annoyance. “If you don’t come here right now-” He stopped mid-sentence when he heard you sigh. The crimson gaze quickly turning to you, the annoyed look on his face left its place to straight on angry.
“What the fuck is your problem?”
“Can you at least try to be a little more quiet? You’re hurting my ears.” You answered with a mocking look, though what you said wasn’t exactly the truth. Disturbing, maybe, but not quite hurtful.
“Can you try to be a little less annoying? You’re hurting my nerves.” Kirishima pouted when Bakugou shot back at your unnecessary attempt to fight with him. “Now- Bakubro, that’s not something you say to a lady.”
Bakugou looked like he had a lot to say, but surprisingly, he chose to stay quiet. Instead, he sat in his place with a grumpy pout on his face and arms crossed on his chest, the sight caused an odd, tingly feeling to spread in your chest. “Will you come here already?” He finally asked when Kirishima kept making small talk with you.
“Eh,” Kirishima sent him a toothy grin as he scratched the back of his neck, “why don’t you just come here?”
“Haah?!” Bakugou blurted, making your ears to hurt for real this time. “I’m not sitting with her!”
“And I’m not sitting with him!” You answered though the blunt response of not being wanted did hurt just the little bit. Denying this feeling, you glared at his crimson eyes, the ones that were challenging you to do so. It took at least 30 seconds before Kirishima interrupted the silent war going between you and Bakugou, finally allowing you to blink or look away. “Oh, quit being a baby, you two.” Kirishima muttered, rolling his eyes. “Both of you are adults enough to sit together for an hour or two without killing each other.”
When Bakugou clicked his tongue in annoyance and looked away, Kirishima pestered him. “Right, Bakugou?” It was a secret challenge, you were sure. If you started an argument, you would lose. And God knew, you would rather die than lose to him.
So without protesting you sat back in your place, followed by Kirishima, who was grinning mischievously. Bakugou was the last to sit down, displeasure and annoyance evident on his face. You took a long sip of your now cold coffee, sending a teasing smile to Bakugou in the process, earning an annoyed “tch” from him. You noticed he did this quite often.
“So,” Kirishima said cheerfully to at least diffuse some of this heavy tension in the air. “How are you, Y/N-chan?”
You shrugged. “Not much, I guess. I’m a little bored at home, and it sucks that I can’t even sleep because of a certain someone.” You didn’t hold back from sending one more look at the blonde’s way.
“Serves you right,” Bakugou growled, his eyes narrowed into slits, “since I can’t sleep either.” You noticed Kirishima snickering as he rolled his eyes with irritation.
“Must be something in the air.” He joked, an attempt to stop the fight before it started, but neither of you was paying attention to him.
“Oh, really? You can’t sleep, and that’s my fault?” You asked quirking a brow up and scoffed when he nodded curtly. “I’m not the irrationally loud one around here, am I?”
“No, your cats are the irrationally angry ones.” Bakugou answered, weaving his hand through his now dry and messy hair, a way of showing his frustration. Your eyes followed his hand, gulping when you noticed your mind started to wonder how it would feel like under your touch.
Noticing how one small act diffused your anger and fuzzied your mind almost instantly, you felt even angrier than before. “Oh, yeah.” You exclaimed. “That should explain why you bought a fucking cat repellant!” His teeth gritting with annoyance, he was going to answer if it wasn’t for Kirishima whose eyes widened with genuine shock.
“You did what?!”
“You heard it! I was losing my mind because of him.” You muttered under your breath, remembering that god awful sound, shivering because of the memory.
“Then make your cats shut up!”
“For the love of God, they’re not my cats! I can’t do anything to stop them from wanting to be closer to me.” Well, that was a lie, but they didn’t need to know that. It was just that the cat’s presence calmed you, making you feel a little less lonely.
“Beats me.” Bakugou answered, though didn’t hold back a ‘You either make them shut up, or else’ look. This only made you angrier, you could feel your hands itching to punch him in his smug face.
Both of them were well aware of how your tail was perking and ruffling behind you, indicating just how irritated and angry you were. “You’re just so god damn annoying, I can’t even-”
“Guys, guys.” Kirishima stopped you by holding your arm when you sprinted on your legs, either to jump on him or run inside, you weren’t sure either. “You did tell me you were going to sit like an adult and not fight, right?”
“He started it!” You felt like a child, but it was okay since he was acting like one too.
“Me?!” He growled, his eyes never leaving yours, and you felt the odd urge to gulp. Taking a deep breath, you sat back down when Kirishima looked at you with a brow quirked up.
“Can you play some music?” You asked for a change of topic. When Bakugou reached for his phone, you grimaced, remembering the things he often listened to. He saw the sour expression on your face and rolled his eyes.
“Now what?”
“I didn’t say anything!” You protested though you kept making a face, you sighed when he looked at you demandingly. “It’s just that… your music taste is kinda lame.”
“What?!” He blurted out, looking genuinely shocked, which amused you just a little bit. Kirishima was roaring with laughter, obviously not expecting that either. “My music taste is the best in the fucking world!” He grunted, his cheeks slightly tinged pink.
“Not to me.” You shrugged, which caused a grumpy expression to find its place on his face. “Then you just have bad taste in music.” He reached for his phone one more time, not breaking eye contact once as he opened a song. You expected that loud music he always seemed to enjoy but were surprised when you heard a soft acoustic guitar instead.
“Oh, I love this song.” Kirishima muttered as he closed his eyes and went along with the song, causing Bakugou to send you a knowing smirk that just screamed ‘See? Even he likes it’ And you couldn’t deny it was… good.
“Well, it’s not that bad, I guess.” You admitted hesitantly, forgetting how bad you were at lying, thanks to your feline parts. This only made Bakugou’s smirk even wider, almost turning it to a genuine smile that made him look even more handsome than he already was, and you felt like smiling back at him. Kirishima stood up, mumbling about getting coffee as he went inside, but neither of you paid attention. “I didn’t think you listened to these kind of music, too.”
“That’s on you for being prejudiced.” He mumbled, and you furrowed your brows. “Prejudiced? If there’s anyone prejudiced here, it’s you!” You protested at the accusation, making him lean even closer to you, so close that you could almost feel the heat radiating from him.
“You don’t know anything about me.” He told you with a low voice that sent goosebumps down your spine. You could feel your breath hitching in your chest, your heart beating like it was trying to scare him away. “I might not know you personally, but I know what type of a person you are.”
“Oh, really?” He quirked his brow, interested. “Do tell me. What kind of a person am I?” He looked like he was just teasing you, but you could see how serious he was under his cynical mask. “Well,” you started your sentence without thinking, “you are a selfish, self-centered, egoistic man who doesn’t care about anyone else but himself.” You exclaimed as you thought about all those times you were awoken from your sleep, that god awful day you almost lost your mind, and the times you had the worst headache because of the citrusy smell he kept spraying on your balcony.
“You want everyone to do anything you say without question, expect them to do everything your way and the way you want it to be, not even thinking about how it would effect them!”
He stood silent at your sudden exclaim, and you didn’t miss how his upper lip curled in a threatening manner. His ruby eyes burning with anger, you couldn’t help but think how beautiful they looked.
A few seconds of silence past, making you wonder if you went too far, and just as you were about to apologize, you noticed his eyes softening just a little bit, a small smirk finding it’s way on his soft-looking lips. “You know, you may be right in all those.” He muttered his voice so low that made your tail stay still with- excitement? His smirk grew wider when he looked at your still tail and perked up ears, and you knew he was well aware of your feelings.
“But,” He started to talk, once again leaning closer, so close that his porcelain skin just millimeters away from your face. “how are you any different, than me?”
Now, that was the last thing you expected him to say.
And it was the only thing that could leave you speechless like this. Your mouth slightly agape, you looked at him with wide, innocent eyes, rapidly trying to find an answer to turn this all around.
But instead, you had to admit defeat.
You sighed as you stood up, taking your laptop and your half-full coffee mug off the table. “Touché.” You told him with a small smile, and you saw him smiling, too.
***
Standing up, you opened your balcony door to have some fresh air and take a break from the essay you just weren’t able to perfect. You had finally managed to finish writing, but editing was just as hard. Rubbing your temples, you stretched your muscles, bored from doing the same thing for the past few hours or so.
As if it wasn’t bad enough, your thoughts had been drifting to the handsome man living right next to you almost constantly. You couldn’t help but replay the conversation you had that day when Kirishima had visited him, and even if you didn’t want to admit, your opinion of him had been changing this past week or so.
Throughout the past one or two weeks, you noticed how these balcony conversations started to happen every day, sometimes even twice a day. You somehow managed to cross paths every single day -you didn’t want to admit, but it wasn’t exactly wrong that your balcony visits were getting frequent at this point, in hope to… catch a glimpse or have a conversation- what you didn’t know was that it was the same with him, too.
He found himself looking your way whenever he was out, sitting in his side of the balcony. Or when he was watching tv or anything, his eyes always looked at your side to find a glimpse of you, going out with two mugs of coffee in his hand when he saw you, your laptop open in front of you, your tail wagging and ears twitching whenever they caught a sound. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw you sitting there, typing something with a displeased look and furrowed brows.
And even though you concealed it immediately, he always caught the bright smile that sat on your lips whenever you spotted him with an extra mug of coffee in his hands.
“Oh, hey.” You muttered when you saw him coming out of his apartment, trying to wear his slippers without spilling the coffee (one of his socks was missing, and you found this to be hilarious). The mixture of his caramel scent and the coffee smell caused you to short circuit for a few seconds.
Pressing your lips together, you tried to suppress your smile, but you were half sure your tail gave your emotions away. “Working hard.” He grunted, and you nodded, this time unable to conceal the smile hanging on your lips.
You shrugged, closing your laptop, fully aware there was no way you could focus on your work when he was sitting right across you -especially looking this good, did he do something with his hair? How did he look this good this early in the morning?-
“How’s Kirishima?” You asked when the silence ensued. His brows twitched with the question, but he grunted. “Good, I guess. He’s working hard.”
“Oh, and here I am, thinking that it was because of me boring him to death that he wasn’t visiting anymore.” You joked, finally able to get a responsive smile back form him. “That, too.” He answered.
He watched as you sipped the coffee he brought -oddly, it was just the way you liked your coffee- and smirked when a relaxed smile appeared on your face with the familiar taste.
“This is… really good. Thanks.” You mumbled, feeling how your cheeks were starting to heat up. You were about to ask something unimportant just for the sake of talking when he suddenly leaned in, his face so close to yours that you didn’t even notice his hand above you, touching your hair with a softness you didn’t expect from him.
You couldn’t even question what he was doing as his hand straddled your hair, his ruby eyes slightly narrowed and looking at you, his tongue sliding on his soft-looking lips, focused. His caramel scent now so strong, you held your breath, or maybe it was because of the excitement that caused you to do so.
It wasn’t something he had planned to do either, more like a pure instinct that caused him to lean closer to you and try to take that stray leaf that was stuck in your hair.
Your eyes wandered over his flawless face, and just as you did so, his eyes lowered to yours, only to find them looking at him, wide open. The way you looked at him was so sweet, so innocent, and so unlike the anger he thought he would see, it caught him off-guard, his hand slipping and grazing your cat-ears, instead.
His thumb caressing your velvety ears, it was a natural reaction of your body, to close your eyes and lean into his touch, and a deep purr escaped your lips, making you both look at each other with widened eyes.
A few seconds of silence past as you prayed to god or whatever force there was, that he didn’t hear the sound that just came from you. But your hopes died when he looked at you like you grew a second head.
“Did you-” He stammered, causing the heat on your cheeks to worsen, “Did you just purr?”
“I didn’t purr- sh-shut up!” You exclaimed, but he wasn’t over it yet, apparently.
“No- no, did you really just-” His hand that was still on your head moved slightly, and even though you were expecting it this time, you couldn’t conceal how your body flinched and how your tail moved with the feeling of his hand on your ears. The smirk that was growing on his lips didn’t help either.
“Can you- can you stop that?” You whispered, and he chuckled. “What, this?” He asked, moving his thumb ever so slightly, just to be able to see that expression on your face, one more time. The way you closed your eyes with an animalistic instinct, your ears twitching under his touch, and it felt so right-
“Y-yes, stop that please.”
He pulled back, sipping his coffee with a smug grin on his lips. “Didn’t know my neighbour was so sensitive.” He muttered into his mug, not helping your situation the slightest bit.
“Of course my ears are sensitive!” You protested, trying to shake the embarrassment away. “I am a cat after all.”
He hummed, agreeing to what you said, but somehow it felt even worse when he agreed to you.
***
“Oh my fucking god!” You screamed at the annoyingly loud music coming from the other side of the wall. Standing up, you walked to the joint wall, feeling even more frustrated when you felt your concentration fading. Just a few seconds ago you were on fire, working on the essay like it was the last thing you were going to do, and now, it was gone forever.
You looked at the small USB drive that stood on your desk, the one that held every document that was supposed to be on your laptop.
Since your laptop was quite old, it didn’t have enough space to hold many things, so until you had enough money to buy a new one, you came up with this solution, though, it wasn’t very practical.
“Bakugou!” You hit the wall with all your might, trying to get his attention. “For the love of god, can you please shut the fuck up?”
You knew he could hear you since his grunts and snickers were audible to your ears, but he didn’t seem to care, he turned the volume up, instead. Gritting your teeth with annoyance, you started kicking the wall.
“Ba-”
thump
“Ku”
thump
“Gou!”
thump
“I’m trying to-” Your voice was muffled by the guitar solo. “I’m worki-” You tried to scream when you finally heard the guitar solo coming to an end, but your words once again faded when the drums started to play, this time even louder than before.
“Bakugou, I’m working here!” You screamed, knowing it wouldn’t reach him. Huffing with annoyance, you ran your fingers through your hair to look somewhat decent and got out to the balcony. You didn’t notice how you left the USB on the counter, or that you left the balcony door open when you ran outside.
***
Bakugou grinned when he heard a soft knock on his balcony door. He was well aware of who it was, and he ignored how fast his heart suddenly started to beat when he heard the knocks.
What he couldn’t ignore was, however, that it wasn’t him being stupidly stubborn when he played that loud music. He knew you were working, and a tiny voice his mind told him that if he played it loud enough, he might get the chance to see you.
Bakugou gave the punching bag one or two last punches before he turned to the door and opened it for you, a smug grin that you were now used to see -and somehow even started to like- on his face. You looked thoroughly annoyed, though he was well-aware of how your tail swayed behind you with excitement and playfulness.
You had pajama’s on, a little too light for the chilly night. Bakugou grunted in a disapproving manner, though he did skid aside, a way of telling you to get in already. As you took the silent invitation, both of you were thinking of the same night, when you had barged in his house for buying a cat repellent. He couldn’t help but smile at the odd memory.
“What’s your problem?” He asked in fake annoyance.
“You’re being too loud!” You protested though the smile on your lips and the sparkle in your eyes gave your act away. “I can’t work because of you.”
“Must be because I’m a smug bastard who doesn’t care about anyone but himself.” He teased, the words 'but then again, so are you’ unspoken, but very much told. You rolled your eyes at the attempt to get you flustered. “And I’m here to tell the smug bastard to be quiet for a few fucking hours so I can work, 'kay?” You told him with a challenging look as you made your way back out to the balcony.
“Whatever the princess says.” He answered cynically, but his smile was genuine for once.
“Goodnight, Bakugou.” You finally gave in and smiled back brightly, and he felt this odd tingle in his chest, which had been happening quite frequently lately.
“Goodnight, princess.” The nickname was meant to be cynical and mocking, though somehow it felt endearing, instead.
With a smile on your lips, you turned back to your apartment, the lack of noise from the apartment next to you a pleasant surprise, making your smile even wider.
Your smile faded when you looked at the USB that was on the counter. Or more like, lack thereof. You were sure you had left it right there, and then you had just-
Oh, shit.
You could smell the cats that were here a few seconds before you, and there was no mistake, it was them who took it along with a few other stuff. Groaning and cursing, you started to walk around the house, frantically searching for the little USB drive, looking under the tables and cupboards, under the fridge, over the fridge, under the curtains…
Running your hands through your hair, you got out of your apartment, not even aware of how cold the night was. If it wasn’t in your apartment, you knew only one other place they could hide your stuff in. The garbage.
Groaning and cursing, you arrived at the big, smelly green thing that was almost a second house to the stray cats. The cats felt your presence before they even saw you, running away for their lives since they could feel how furious you were.
“Where is it?!” You asked them before they could get away, but they ignored your question and ran, leaving you alone in this miserable place. No matter how in contact you were with your feline side, you could never understand how cats could feel at ease in the garbage.
Biting your lip in hesitation -is it really that important? Can’t I just rewrite the 200 files in there?- you rolled your sleeves up, disgust boiling in the pit of your stomach. You finally managed to get one foot in there, the smell and the feeling altogether making your eyes water with disgust, and you were well aware, the second you let your guard down, you would throw up.
What took the most courage was to put your hands in there and actually move the trash. You could only thank God that not everything was out in the open, and most was in big black trash bags, but some were ripped open and scattered, thank the cats.
Even if it was the most disgusting thing ever, you did get used to the sickening smell and the feeling of sitting on top of the trash. Whenever a cat got close to you to apologize, you threw whatever was in your hand at them -along with a string of curses-, making them realize you were pissed.
Bakugou was smiling when he closed the door after you. He tried to stop smiling and be annoyed with you, but how could he when you looked at him like that? He remembered how you purred that day when he had touched your soft ears, the memory only making his cheeks red and his grin wider.
He was going to go on with his workout when he heard a noise coming from outside. He frowned when he realized it was once again the cats scattering and playing with the garbage. He was going to ignore it, but he groaned in annoyance when he heard a loud glass breaking sound. They were particularly messy today.
Wearing the sweatshirt that was on his chair, he went downstairs to at least scare them away, but as he got closer to the source of the sound, he also noticed someone talking to themselves, grumbling and mumbling under their breath, and he noticed it was you in the garbage, and not cats.
His eyes widening when he got sure it was you -he could recognize your voice, especially when complaining- cursing and searching the trash.
You noticed his presence, your hands coming up as if to say I’m not guilty, and you looked at him with horror. “Wh- what are you doing here?!” You stammered when he kept looking at you with disgust and confusion.
“I should be the one asking that.” He answered, “What the fuck are you doing in there?!”
“I- I’m-” How were you even supposed to answer that? “I’m searching for something.” You finally admitted, tears swelling in your eyes, and this time, not because of the smell. “The cats stole my- and now I’m- I gotta-” It was especially hard to talk as you tried to hold back your tears, you realized, not even able to make a full sentence.
“What?” He asked, rightfully confused.
“I- I left my USB on the counter- and now it’s gone! I had my assignments and everything in there and now I can’t find it.” You finally managed to answer, you could feel a tear sliding down your cheek and you couldn’t even wipe your tear since your hand was dirty.
“For fucks sake, how did you even-” He stopped talking when he heard your sniff. “Wait- are you crying?”
“No!” You answered, biting your lip. “It just smells really bad in here, the heightened smelling abilities and shit, you know.” You lied, not very good, though.
He rolled his eyes. “Yeah- right.” Expecting him to turn around and go his not disturbingly bad smelling home, but he got a little closer to you, instead.
“Scoot over.” He told you after inspecting the garbage with his ruby eyes, looking very- very uncomfortable.
“What?” You asked as you dropped the trash that was currently in your hands. “You heard me.” Bakugou muttered. “Scoot over, I’m coming in.”
“You’re going to help me?!” He scoffed when he heard the disbelief in your voice, and you couldn’t suppress the odd feeling of relief washing over you. It wasn’t having someone next to you to help, but it was having him near you.
He held the cold metal, pulling himself up and joining you in your misery. “Thank you, Bakugou.” You muttered as he settled to the place next to you, a sour expression on his face, caused by the disgusting feeling and smell.
“Whatever, let’s just find the shitty thing and get out of here already.” He grunted, and you smiled.
***
Drying your hair with a towel, you were finally able to get rid of that awful smell. Bakugou was already clean and dry, sipping something out of his mug. You were surprised to see him sitting out in the balcony, despite the cold weather and the late hour.
“Hey,” you muttered, running the towel through your hair one more time. You heard him grunt in response, not raising his head from the steaming substance -it was coffee, you realized, and you noticed there was one mug right where you usually sat, too- and sat across him.
“Is the shitty thing still working?” He asked, breaking the silence. He scoffed when you nodded. You were about to thank him for the 100th time when he leaned a bit closer to you, his eyes narrowing and lips curling in a frown in displeasure.
“Didn’t you dry your hair after taking a shower?” His hand touched your hair. Not giving you the time to answer, he stood up and sat next to you, instead. “You dumbass, it’s fucking cold.”
Shaking his sweatshirt off of him, he pulled it over your head, dressing you with it, even though it was a little too big for you. He closed the hood and hid your cat ears and damp hair under it, his scent all your mind could process for a second or so.
His thumb touched your cheek softly as he closed the hood, Bakugou noticed how you leaned into his touch or drew a sharp breath as he traced a soft line with his touch.
Suddenly, his presence was overwhelmingly strong, your bodies so close and his face near yours, your mind only occupied with him and him only. His gaze dropped to your lips as you took one more sharp breath, ruby eyes darkening as you rolled your lip in your mouth anxiously.
“I-” You started to talk, but stopped when you noticed you had nothing to say. Maybe you should thank him again, you thought, and as you were about to do so, his thumb that was on your cheek pressed in, in a warning manner.
“I swear to god, if you thank me one more fucking time-”
“What?” You asked, not realizing you were getting closer to him, so close that you could feel his soft breath on your face. “What will you do if I thank you one more fucking time?”
He saw the challenging smile that was forming on your soft-looking lips, swallowing the excitement that was rising in his chest. “I will- silence you.” Bakugou answered, also smiling.
“Well then, thank you Ba- mmph!-” Bakugou was a man of his word, after all, so he did what he said. His lips closing in on yours, for the first time in your life, you weren’t mad at someone for not letting you finish your sentence.
***
Your head right on his chest, you could hear his steady heartbeat, the sound oddly comforting. One of his arms was wrapped around your waist, holding and not letting you an inch away from him, the other softly stroking your hair and your ears, smiling at the feeling of you purring right on top of his chest.
It felt so nice to be so close to him, your hand in his ash-blond hair, running your fingers through them. You moved in your place a little, snuggling into him, making him grunt in annoyance. “Stop moving, shitty woman.”
You smiled, moving even more just to annoy him even further. He was going to say something when a loud cat scream caused both of you to shut up. You could feel him gritting his teeth, his irritation evident, and you weren’t making it better by laughing at him.
“You know, this is all your fault-” He protested, but was once again interrupted by the cats. “For fucks sake- can’t you silence them, at least for one night?”
“Okay, okay. Just this one night.” You always liked hearing the cats, they made you feel lonely, but tonight, you didn’t need them to make you feel better.
You opened the window, leaning a bit as you glanced at the blonde that was watching you with much interest, sending a small smile his way as you opened your mouth and shouted. “Shut up!”
Bakugou didn’t know what exactly he was expecting, but he definitely didn’t expect that. “Is that it?” He asked in disbelief as you settled back on top of his chest, his arms wrapping you immediately.
“Yup,” You nodded, a cheeky smile on your face. He shook his head side to side, though he was laughing as he did so.
“I would’ve done that sooner if I knew,oes d it work on you, too?.” He muttered in your hair and laughed when you punched him. Pulling back slightly, he made you look at his face. “So it doesn’t work.” He grinned when you rolled your eyes. “But, still, that was fucking hot.” Bakugou muttered, leaning in to kiss you one more time.
#bakugo x reader#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou x reader#mha imagines#mha x reader#bnha scenarios#bnha x reader#bnha x you#bnha x y/n#mha x y/n#mha x you#bakugou fluff#bakugou scenarios
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High School Reunion pt. 2 (Harrison Osterfield)
I wake up because of the sound of the tv. I slowly sit up and see my best friend watching her favorite tv show and eating cereal meanwhile.
"Seriously? Couldn't you have waited until I've woken up?" I ask her, looking at her with disbelieve. She turns around and a quick look of guilt flashes over her face.
"Oh, did I wake you up? I didn't want to, sorry." She tells me. I sigh.
"It's okay. But if you want to you can make me breakfast too." I laugh. (Y/BFF/N) looks at me surprised.
"Wow, what happened in your sleep that you're suddenly super happy? Tell me your secrets." She smiles at me, happy that I seem to be okay. But what should I say, I'm an actress. Acting is my job and passion. Obviously I'm still hurt, I mean it's been a night and nobody can heal over night. Well not that I've known.
"I don't know. But I wouldn't say no the pancakes btw." I smirk. (Y/BFF/N) shakes her head laughing and gets up to make me some.
"Thank you!" I shout while she's heading to her kitchen. After I've watched a few minutes of the show which is on I decided to check my phone. Surprised i see that I've got a message from Harrison.
Haz
Hey (Y/N), Are you okay? You and (Y/BFF/N) disappeared yesterday.
I answer him, even though I know it's definitely not a good idea.
(Y/N)
Yeah I'm good, thanks for asking.
After a minute my phone shows me that I got a new notification. I unlock my phone and it's Harrison who texted back.
Haz
Okay, that's good. Actually I wanted to ask if you maybe want to have a drink with me when you've got time. Yesterday we couldn't really finish our little chat.
(Y/N)
Yeah sure, sounds good. When are you free?
What the hell am I doing? I ask myself and really want to unsend that last message.
Haz
What about today? I would pick you up and we could go to Starbucks, just like the old times.
(Y/N)
At 5?
Haz
I'm going to be at your place. See you later.
(Y/N)
Bye
At the exact second you send your last message (Y/BFF/N) enters the room with a plate full of fresh made pancakes.
"Here you go." She says and hands it to you.
"I might have made a mistake." I say slowly.
"Okay? And what?" She asks hesitatingly.
"Maybe, just maybe, I might have agreed to go and have a drink with Harrison?" (Y/BFF/N) looks at me surprised and a little bit amused too?
"How did you ride yourself into this?" She shakes her head but I can see that she's forcing herself not to laugh.
"Well it's interesting to see that my death is funny for you." I say but I smile too, so it's okay.
"And to answer your question Haz texted me and asked me. And to be honest I don't know why I agreed so please do something to get my out if that." I beg her.
"Nope." She says.
"I think it might be good for you to talk with him. To get that whole thing finished, you know? You should tell him why you broke up and how you felt." She sits down next to me and pats my shoulder.
"If you say so." I say but I'm still not sure if it's really a good idea.
"And now, we got to prepare you!" She says and claps excitedly her hands.
"You look great!" (Y/BFF/N) says when I come out of the bathroom where i changed my clothes. We, well SHE, decided that i should dress to impress but it still shouldn't be that striking. Now I'm wearing a black high waisted jeans and a baby pink cropped shirt. I also had to clean my white Nike's because (Y/BFF/N) forced me to do it.
"You want to look nice, don't you?" Was what she kept saying all the time. Now she puts some makeup on my face but not too much, because she says it's better if I go all natural. Well, it would be, if I wouldn't wear all that makeup. I think for myself. After she finishes it she slightly curls my hair.
"And voilá!" She says and puts the curler away. I get up to look in the mirror and I must say that she's done a great job.
"Thank you, (Y/BFF/N)!" I say and hug her tightly. She laughs and hugs me back.
"Anytime." She frees herself out of my grip and escorts me to the door.
"Harrison should be here any minute now. And don't mess it up, okay?" She looks at me and I can see that she really cares about me. How sweet.
"I'll try my best." I assure her and hug her a last time before my phone rings. It's Harrison. (Y/BFF/N) nods to the door and I go out.
There I can see Harrison waiting in his car. I wave awkwardly and get in the passenger seat.
"Hey (Y/N)." He says smiling. He obviously checks me out and then starts the car.
"You look good." I'm really surprised that he checked me out. I mean, he has a girlfriend!
"Uh, thanks. You look not that bad yourself." I tell him and I'm not even wrong with that. Harrison wears a shirt I bought him when we were still in a relationship and normal jeans. We drive in silent and after about 10 minutes we arrive at our old Starbucks. I haven't been there since we broke up because everything reminded me of him.
"Here you go." he says and opens the door for me.
"You know, I can open a door by myself, right?" We walk into the Starbucks and sit down on our usual table. The Starbucks didn't change at all. It has still the same chairs and tables, even the same decoration and employees.
"Am I stupid or didn't this place didn't change over the years?" Harrison asks me and speaks my thoughts.
"I think both." Harrison punches my arm lightly and I laugh.
"What do you want? It's on me." He stands up and waits for me to say what I want.
"You don't have to-" I start but he's interrupting me.
"But I want. Now what do you want?"
Still surprised I tell him my usual Starbucks order and he goes and gets it. After a few minutes he comes back and hands me my cup.
"Thanks." I say and take a sip.
Slowly we start talking and it feels kind of like old times. Well except that he has a girlfriend who isn't me.
"So, how's Chloe?" I ask suddenly.
"Who's Chloe?" Harrison looks at me confused.
"You know, Chloe, your GIRLFRIEND?" I tell him. Harrison face palms.
"Yeah, right, Chloe. She's fine. Can we not talk about her please."
"Why?" Now I am the confused one. Harrison avoids looking at me and plays with the cup in his hand. I raise a eyebrow. Finally Harrison looks up. On his face is a kind of embarrassed look.
"I think I've got to tell you something." He says.
"Okay?" Im not really sure what to expect.
"Well- uh- that's harder than I thought." He stops and takes a deep breath.
"Chloe doesn't exit." He confesses.
"And why did you make her up?" I ask. I'm still not sure what I should think about this.
"To see how you react? And once I mentioned it I couldn't just, I don't know, 'delete' her." He sighs.
"The thing is, I guess I'm still not over you. I understand when you don't want to date me again, you're the one who broke up with me and I never knew why." Now he looks so sad, a bit like a lost puppy. Oh how much I'd want to hug him now.
"I broke up with you because you were never at home. You were always with Tom and when you've been there you went away a few days later again. And I just couldn't live like this anymore." I don't look at him while I'm saying this.
"(Y/N)." Harrison says softly and causes me to look up at him. "Why didn't you just tell me?"
"I guess I didn't want you to stop traveling because of me. You loved going with Tom and I didn't want you to choose between him and I."
Tears start forming in my eyes but I force myself not to cry.
"Maybe, and only if you want to, we could start over?" Harrison asks and looks at me waiting for my answer.
"But what about the traveling? It would end like last time."
"You could travel with us! Tom wouldn't mind and unless you don't have to shot something you can always come with us." Harrison says excited.
"In that case, I'd love to start over." I smile at him.
#tom holland#harrison osterfeild x reader#harrison osterfeild imagine#harrison osterfield#imagine#tom holland imagine
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Today is the story of how my pregnancies came to be, without the fun stuff. It plays a very large role in why I believe in God tbh.
So my ex. It’s a relevant start. Him and I were together four years, never used protection, dumb as that is. I bring that up at because, for much of that time, I just didn’t have periods. Like at all.
After about a year of waiting and taking pregnancy tests wondering what the hell, I went to the doctor (I hate doctors...back then fear won, a lot) and she gave me pills to force me to have one.
I would have one sporadically after, so I didn’t feel like a mutant, and I’d be like well okay...and didn’t go back to the doctor. But it was every few months.
PCOS seems to run in my family, my cousin has used years of fertility treatments to have children, and though it’s worked it’s been a hell of a struggle for her. I was always kind of afraid I couldn’t have kids.
July 2007, I felt a way that was different, didn’t have a period as usual, took a pregnancy test. This was a regular thing with the lack of periods. Positive. ....what?? Told him, and he lost his fn mind. I can’t describe just how stupid he acted, and I was lost. How I knew later he was a cheating pos. We went to Planned Parenthood to take their test. Negative. Idiot danced to his car, and something in me knew he was an idiot but I just let it go.
We broke up a few days later, he did, of course.
The day after we broke up, midst all my emotions yanno how that goes, I started on my own for the first time in...I couldn’t remember. And it stayed that way, regular, every month, ever since.
Mom said “it’s the guy”, who by that point she was kind of disgusted with too lol. Well. Yeah. It was? Seems so. Angry and blaming and rawr at God like I was and they were like nope sorry...not that one, and I just showed you that 🙏
He continuously plays a role in this story. Idk if he was A soulmate of some sort. I’m definitely one of his life lessons. It’s always been...deeper, even if we don’t even get along. At all.
Ok so hubby. Years later. Ex was long gone, didn’t talk didn’t nada, I lived with my boyfriend 😜 and his parents for a year, working on my car and saving money for a place. Which I did, we moved in August and September 18 (my late gmas bday), I hadn’t had a period and took a test like oh this crap again. Honestly didn’t think I could have kids...never had a scare in the year I’d already been with hubby.
Pregnant. Whaaat? So my EX sends me an email the next fn day. How? I have no idea. I had told hubby...that’s it. I don’t even remember what the email said, how are you or something idk, I avoided it like the plague before being like omg just answer and writing something quickly, send, delete. Never read it again. I’d gotten him out of my brain space tyvm bye. Well in my response was something like lol I’m pregnant. He was the 2nd person to know. And considering he flipped out and left over a baby...karma.
In my later belief system, and seeing my oldest’s chart, she has much Libra/Scorpio influencing her (10th, Saturn/Moon). I felt like initially that positive may have been her, just long enough to get him tf out. The timing of his message blew my mind. Didn’t speak again for like 10 years, baby daughter got the name I had always wanted, and gmas middle to honor her. I still see 9:18 periodically. Love u Gma ❤️
So next baby. After two years in our first apartment, we were bombarded with BEES 🐝 Like this was insane level of bees, you couldn’t leave the house without these threatening mfers chasing you to the car, management was shit, we moved.
Moved into a bigger nicer apartment in a nicer part of town. August again. Had a fun night with some drinks to celebrate the night we moved in...no protection, big fun, hubby joked drunk, there’s #2.
So September 11th...I bought it 😆 But I refused to do it on that day. September 12th...hello baby girl #2.
Years and years pass, we use condoms regularly. Very careful always. Idk how my son came to be and I’ll say it till I die. I went back to work, I had lost a bunch of weight lol, I was not in baby mode at all. I was 100% done. So much that for two months I didn’t even realize. Until my jeans stopped fitting and I was like WTF. Sure enough. Hello baby boy.
I had been playing the sure let’s be friends game 🙄 with some of my ex’s after hubby’s stupid bs. Nothing more trust & believe, hell no. And it just doesn’t work as friends either so idk why we ever tried. Will never get along. The other ones were just drama...was my Saturn return, that was a nightmare. Then we entered his, and that was also a nightmare. That’s as much as I’ll say about that 💯
The last thing I said to that same ex, 10 years later...I’m pregnant 😆 It’s a kind of karma somehow. Goodbye again, the same way it’ll always be. Like God was like I’m sorry, you need a reminder?
My children ❤️
I always blamed my husband for doing it on purpose. Because he was so happy when I was. He’ll always deny it, but the boy came out DADDY’S boy and I just let him take over because...well he wanted to. And for the first time, the baby wanted, demanded, him too. It was actually insanely sweet, still is.
I went to the doctor and said I guess I’m due in February? She’s like try Christmas. I literally threw away the whole doctor and got a new one because I thought she was lying to me 😆
So on Christmas DAY, 6pm, I’m making meatloaf bc I knew a baby would be coming soon and we didn’t want a fridge full of leftovers...water breaks. 7cm dialated by 7pm, they gave me meds to slow down while hubby dropped off the kids at gmas. Little Aries moon was OUT in four hours 🤣 My biggest baby.
Jane...we were again very careful. Condom flew off inside of me completely. Like flew. Idk how tf that happens and it was very uncomfortable to fix btw. We knew, and when it was positive, we knew. We were not in a good place at that time. It was bad.
She was due on my cousins bday, and down to the very signs they would’ve been similar, and my cousin has lost babies...kind of how we had our falling out. She was mad at me for having my boy, but she was petty and rude to me for months, it broke my heart, then her mom my aunt tells me how she and my mother just talk shit about us both, when I trusted her the most, I just...bye. Gtfo ur one of them. Cried.
Well Jane. I lost Jane. I’ll always be sad about it. Cap with Gemini moon (supposed to) ended up being a little lost Leo. Same middle name as my cousin.
It’s here I’ll mention our foster kids. Hubby’s niece by blood, nephew by marriage. They were hard, that situation was hard, the boy is on the spectrum (which I now know means dick all really, he’s incredibly normal despite his horrific early circumstances) and he alone needs a lot of care. And their parents broke up and his dads side wanted them...he’s not ours, how could we claim him first? Our niece fits like a glove, she is ours. His sisters. We felt it was taking away from our kids after awhile, having two more suddenly, with DFS and court and visits and phone calls. We were getting screamed at by the parents for trying to be good people...then my car broke down with this timing chain nightmare, his was totaled (fk u forever)...then came the positive with boy, and we gave the kids to their Dad’s mom. Who is a very nice lady, with money, sister in law be pissed or not. We all felt we just couldn’t do it.
The boy was a Christmas Eve boy. Hilarious and so smart and adorable and sweet, just a lot of work. Our niece, a Leo, born way too early (late Oct due date). Small, tiny, but healthy.
My son is Christmas Day. Hilarious and SO smart and adorable and so sweet...a lot of work. Can not look away for two seconds. Also breaks things. Also punches his sisters. Even looks kinda like our nephew. Its eerie.
I tell my husband we didn’t keep the kids...we had the kids 😞 Because I ended up losing my little Leo, born way too early 😢
These kids are why I believe everything, they’re why I have faith, they’re how I notice the funny little things others wave off as oh it’s coincidence. No, it’s not.
Whether there’s another in the future idk. With Covid it’s not something I want right now. I did have my heart set on 4, once Jane came into the picture.
Maybe someday. Maybe not. Besides #2, which hubby joked about, and she’s a silly sarcastic goose just like her Daddy 😆, it seems God has more say on that then I ever have. With everything.
Take charge types scold me like “you have the power”, and I’m like oh yeah watch this. Try to work or try to do anything, car tires burst or something, some emergency, hubby has some insane project he needs me with them for, a baby appears, or foster kids, something always happens to keep me home. They all need me here. Just how it works in my life.
Someday...who knows? For now, this year, I’m a homeschool teacher ❤️ We’re happy 😊
#very grateful#much faith#bc i believe#god sends you the signs#he knows YOU will see#doesnt matter what others see#mine are my kids...#love my kids#i dreamt about my oldest#exactly how she was at like two#when i was 16 🙏#i always knew#and as soon as i saw her name#in a video game rofl#i knew it was her name#i knew that was her#boys name we always had#i knew hed be a brown baby too 😁#second girl was a big surprise#the girl part lolol#we were so excited..two girls! 🥰#but i always knew her nature#knew the pisces right away...all fish bedding...she would have daddys face...she does#blue walls with sparkles like the sea...#oldest was purple and monkeys owls animals#wise little hoot she is#boy was olive green...lol...and old style peter rabbit#ya mama knows dont ever deny 🙏❤️
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I did the thing again 💁🏽 I'll attempt to keep it brief. We know how much I struggle with that tho...
April 21 Friday was my first trip to bikram yoga, and I was very very nervous. I had never been to bikram yoga, and it would have been only my second official yoga class ever. The other class I had taken was with a friend at the studio near our school, and it was just a regular hot vinyasa class. That instructor made me feel very welcomed and very capable, and it was a way smaller class, so she actually came over and helped me with my poses. All I knew was that bikram was hotter than the regular hot class, it had a series of 26 poses that you cycled through, and that you sweat out like your whole body weight over the 75 minutes. Sweet.
Showed up like 3 minutes before (in shorts, btw, #nsv for me), and the room was packed, mostly full of people in shavasana. I had to squeeze in a spot by the heater (kill me) and it seemed to me like the class was 85% regulars. I would soon learn that my instinct was hella correct. We were asked who was new, and out of like literally 35-40 people, I was the only one. Thought that meant she could help me. Nope. We went through the breathing exercise and went off into the poses after a few minutes. I had already begun to feel a little lightheaded, but my fear of looking dumb focused me. I looked up and noticed my instructor didn't even do single pose. How am I supposed to know what to do, or the proper form?? She would talk, walk around, and actually scroll through her phone... like I know it's 5:30 on a Friday but you signed up for this shit. You don't get to do that. She also made a lot of inside jokes with the regulars, some whom I later believed to be other instructors, and like did not encourage modification. She was like I know you can push further, so do it. Like HOMIE that is not what you're supposed to do, especially if you're new!! She was very serious about no talking or making noise, so she only came over to the guy next to me who kept cursing when his grip would slip to help him modify.
Things I found out: A, you need like a legit swimming towel or actual full size yoga towel for this kind of yoga because I felt like I was drowning in sweat. I had to wring out my shirt and shorts when I left. B, you're pretty much on your own at this studio, even if it says "all levels." They were not helpful for new people. C, it's a great detox, if you can get past the fact that you may not be able to hold any of your poses because your body is so slick from sweat. My forearms ended up being sore for the next two days because of how much I was straining to hold onto my poses. D, you should not be alarmed by how much it sounds like snakes are in the room whenever you do an open-mouth exhale. I was for a lot of the class, and it was SO distracting because I thought it was funny. Some people go really hard. And I mean REALLY hard with the breathing.
I think the only reason I would go back would be to go with a friend, and definitely another instructor. Sorry, Robyn. I want a chick who gives a shit about my class. She did end on a funny song, though. +1 for you.
Spent the rest of the evening being productive, doing laundry and cleaning my room. It was a glorious Friday night.
Listening to: "I Want It That Way" by Backstreet Boys
April 22 It was supposed to rain all day Saturday, and I was anxious bc I had another long run. I really wanted to meet up with CFG again, though, so I forced myself out of bed, put on a hat and jacket, and hoped for the best. When I got to Dilworth, I coudln't find the group anywhere, and I waited until the last possible second, but decided the weather must've detered most people, or they left already, so I set out on my own. This 6.5 miles sucked so much more than last week's great 7 mile run. Maybe it was the weather or fatigue, but I just was not feeling the groove. I stopped for a hot second on Kelly Drive to breathe and to check out some of the statues and stuff. In hindsight, those pictures are very uneventful. At my halfway point, it started raining and I was like ughhhhhhh well at least I had that hat. This run felt so much harder than my last long run, and I wonder if it's just because my body's like YOU NEED TO CHILL OUT. At the last mile, though, I had a great few songs push me through, including Guns and Ships from Hamilton and What Do U Mean (I'm a sucker for Bieber). I finished around city hall, where there was an Earth Day protest going on. It's kinda cool that every weekend there are a lot of people around my city screaming about how much 45 sucks.
Later I got Snap pizza with friends and did not feel guilty about it whatsoever.
6.51 mi 10'17" min / mi
Listening to: "See You Again" by Miley Cyrus
April 23 Sunday was so much nicer out than Saturday, which was an excellent motivator to get me to FlyWheel. This was my second spin class, and first at FlyWheel. First impressions were amazing: you walk down the steps into like this pit, where they give you cycling shoes and there's a shop (I wanted everything even though I knew I wouldn't become an avid spinner bc $$, BUT EVERYTHING WAS SO CUTE). Then you find your bike in "the stadium" and wait until the staff is finished cleaning the bikes and putting out fresh towels to hop on. I got help from one of the staff, and thankfully this bike felt more comfortable than my first ride. Looking down, I saw these two pole things on the side of my bike, and a cool electronic torq tracker. I loved that you could opt into the torq board beforehand so you wouldn't be stressed about putting it in day-of. Suddenly, the lights went off and we were off. My instructor was super motivating and friendly, pushing us through a series of hills and sprints. I was happy that I had taken a spin class before, though, because I knew the positions when the she called them out. I admittedly signed up for her class specifically because on her profile she said she sang a cappella in her free time, so I was hoping she'd either A, have a great playlist, and / or B, sing throughout some of the songs lol. She started us out of "Wop" which I hadn't heard in like 6 years, so I was happy about that. On the penultimate song, she had us grab the bars next to our bikes and do an arms workout, which was surprisingly tough to focus on both the legs and arms at the same time. At the end I felt really good, definitely exhausted, but like I could go back the next day for sure. Absolutely one of my favorite workout classes I've ever taken. I see why people catch the bug now.
After class, I hung out at TJU for a bit before showering and going to Rittenhouse to hang out in the park. Since it was World Book Day, I bought both You Are a Badass (which is definitely going to change my life, if not give me some awesome quotes to live by) and Bossypants. I was feeling the energy. I was also thankful I brought my journal to the park, bc this one guy came up to me randomly and started hitting on me for like 10 minutes and I clearly did not want him there, so I wrote a whole bunch of pages about the entitlement of men and how some people must give off "please bother me" vibes. Overall great day, though, because I was happy I was getting back into writing.
Listening to: "Scream & Shout" by will.i.am. & Britney Spears
Also worked out yesterday, but I don't feel like writing about that rn. It was uneventful, other than my Nike Run Club app being annoying and not properly recording my treadmill tempo run. What's new. Today I'm giving myself my first full day off from working out in what feels like 2 months, so I'm very excited to not do anything. Also had a free bagel this morning because my work was giving them out. BLESSSSSSSS.
#jen sincero#flywheel#you are a badass#classpass#motivation#half marathon training#athleisure#athleisure-aesthetic#yoga#bikram#bikram yoga#hot yoga#non scale victory#nsv#non scale progress#city fit girls#city fit girls run club#CFG#CFG run club#run215#running#Nike Running#nike running club#nike run club#nrc#aprilrunclub#rcapril2017#runner#runblr#weight loss
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Confession: I don’t have any side dishes, collateral attractions or ‘guilty pleasures’ besides my one and only crush. I’m not a Whovian, either, but if I had to pick a favourite Doctor, it would probably be number 10. There’s something about David Tennant – apart from the delicious Scottish accent (check out this *fantastic* audio drama played by Tennant and Emilia Fox – I’ve heard it a couple of times and it is brilliant!) and the fabulous acting (I loved him in Much ado about nothing) – he came across as such a genuine, *NICE* bloke in WDYTYA. If you haven’t seen that yet – here are a few clips from that show.
In any case – I think Tennant is a noteworthy actor, and when I realised that he was on stage in London during my business trip, I immediately bought tickets to the show. The tagline on the show’s poster does not lie: Don Juan in Soho is the raunchiest, naughtiest play I have ever seen on stage. But boy, is it good, and funny, and fast-paced. And Tennant is just brilliant in the lead role – arrogant and abrasive, cajoling and compelling, you just want to be adored by Don Juan, even though you know he will spit you out the moment he has had you. His speech for hedonism as an expression of self, and his rant against social media, are almost sociocritical, and the little jibes against Trump were welcomed by the audience with much laughter and applause. The whole role – even though a comedy – takes guts, I think. Using that language (including the C word), engaging in some rather ‘lewd’ acts on stage, plus some of the politically controversial lines – not everyone can pull that off, but Tennant really did.
So, anyway, Guylty Pleasure was in town (see above) and watched Don Juan together with Hariclea on Wednesday. And since we were there, we decided to check out the SD. A great opportunity for a seasoned SD-goer like myself to see the spectacle from the perspective of an uninvolved onlooker – and to compare the experience with the previous occasions when I waited at the SD for Richard Armitage. This is what went down:
Hariclea and I were in no great hurry to get to the back of Wyndham’s Theatre, so by the time we rocked up there, the fans had already gathered along the metal barriers outside the SD. It’s hard to say how many people were there – maybe 70? The mood was relaxed, yet excited. On the wall outside the theatre a few notices informed the fans that the actors were only going to sign material that was related to the show, i.e. tickets, posters or programmes from Don Juan. After waiting 5 or 10 minutes, one of the security guards came out and gave a little speech. He pointed out that David Tennant was hosting some guests post-show in the theatre, so there was a) no guarantee that he would come out to sign, and b) if he did, they did not know *when* he would come out. However, he promised he would keep us informed so that we would not have to wait unnecessarily. Then he asked people to be considerate and friendly. David would sign one piece for people, or take a picture. “You are all here for the same reason, so please move out of the way once you have received your autograph, so that those behind you have a chance to get their autograph/picture, too.” I really appreciated that little speech from the security – just because it set the tone for the whole occasion, and because it not only laid down the rules but also took the fans seriously. Rather than making us feel like a nuisance, it reacted to the fact that fans by and large gather at the SD to show their interest and appreciation – something that is to be seen as a gift, not a threat.
Some of the younger cast members came out and left quickly, then Gawn Grainger, who plays Don Juan’s father. He sweetly took his time to chat with fans and sign autographs. Adrian Scarborough, who plays Don Juan’s sidekick Stan, was out next. Standing right at the back of the crowd – as a mere onlooker I didn’t want to take away the space for the *true* fans – I could hardly see him. But he signed his way from my corner of the assembled crowd back to the SD, and posed for pictures with fans. David Tennant’s arrival was announced by much cheering and whooping from the crowd, and he again made his way to the far corner of the assembled crowd, immediately launching into signing and posing for pics. At 1.85m (6’1″) he rose above the crowd, and I was able to get a few pics of him on my phone.
Again, Tennant also signed his way back to the SD, and from the metadata on my pictures I can say that the whole procedure took about 6 or 7 minutes. Once he went back inside the theatre, the crowd dispelled quickly and Hariclea and I took a nightcap in an adjoining pub.
The following night I spontaneously repeated the experience because to my surprise I had found out that our fellow fan Judit was in town and had tickets for Don Juan on Thursday. So I met her after the play, and we joined the SD once again. The procedure was much the same as the previous night, with roughly the same number of people in attendance, I think. This time there was no speech prior to the SD proceedings. However, there was a little bonus appearance – gorgeous “Capt. Jack Harkness” from Torchwood had been to see the play and visited DT afterwards.
Saw my lovely #DavidTennant in #DonJuaninSoho really amazing. See it if you can next week is their last week. #laughoutloudfunny Jb pic.twitter.com/DHEZUoGDsA
— John Barrowman MBE (@JohnBarrowman) June 1, 2017
//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js He came out the SD and briefly joked with the crowd before heading off into the night. (I totally love Barrowman, btw. There’s a celeb who *loves* interacting with people, you can tell, and who has no fear of touching and being touched.) And then it was actually Tennant who showed up (no Adrian Scarborough) and proceeded to sign and pose as he had done the night before. I think he took a bit longer that night, yet of course there was a big sigh of disappointment once he turned to go back inside. Judit did not get to see much of Tennant as we were at the back once again. But I held up my phone again and caught this:
There was an amazing buzz of energy about Tennant, I thought. Something very energetic and lively, almost hyperactive. (Although that might be a normal reaction after just having been on stage and presumably still surfing high on adrenaline). He smiled and posed and said thank you and smiled brightly again, moving along the long line of his fans. Occasionally I could hear his voice (although not what he said), he was bending down to smile into cameraphone, and to me it looked as if he was doing his best to give his fans what they desired. It’s hard to describe, but I felt a positive, cooperative vibe from him, which I think is also evident in the pictures – in the way he inclines his head to hear his fans, the way he bends down to pose for pictures, and in the smiles that look genuine, not forced.
So, two non-fangirling SDs under my belt, and what an interesting experience. It was quite different from how I previously experienced the SD. As my regular readers know, I have been to a few of them when Richard Armitage played Proctor in The Old Vic’s The Crucible, and I had the pleasure of seeing Love Love Love in New York last year. I really enjoyed the David Tennant SD experience – possibly more so than the Armitage SD. For one simple reason: I was uninvested. It didn’t matter to me whether I was going to get a signature or a photo; I could relax and just observe, no mad heartbeat because *OMGmycrush* *he is there* *gasp* *he looks sooooo gooooood* *OMGILoveHim*… Really, the SD is not good for a fangirl’s heart. With RA, I never really feel like saying anything (beyond a polite “You were great in this. Please sign here.”), and I tend to be so nervous, I can’t even look the man in the eye. Much like a 15-year-old school girl meeting her crush. Thinking about this, it makes me wonder why I am putting myself through this *at all*… OTOH there *have* been a couple of RA SDs where I stood back and observed rather than take part, and those were quite enjoyable, too, because I had given up on the expectation of getting an autograph or a word out of the man. So the conclusion may simply be, to change my SD mode to background ogling lurking rather than seeking interaction. It seems much easier to get a *look* in, than an autograph…
And there may be also a difference in how these two actors, for whom I have queued at the SD, “perform” at such occasions. I don’t mean this as a value judgment, but it seems to me that Richard is a rather more reluctant SD participant than Tennant, flummoxed at the attention directed at him, and unwilling/unable/too humble (??) to receive the “gift” of goodwill from his fans? I don’t know whether Tennant *thrives* on the SD encounter with his fans, but to me it looked as if he was able to take the SD not just as something where he is *giving* to his fans, but also as an opportunity to recharge his own batteries with the admiration and positive feedback offered to him there. I can’t deny that what comes across to me as Richard’s “SD reluctance”, makes me sometimes feel slightly guilty about waiting at the SD. As in: by being there, I am adding pressure on him to put on an SD show that he doesn’t really enjoy. I certainly react to what I perceive (which may actually something different than what other fans perceive), and that has an effect on my enjoyment of the SD… in Tennant’s case it was unreservedly positive.
So, overall, a really nice 6 minutes, even if we had to wait at least twice as long for that conclusion. But Tennant is worth the accolades, the attention and the wait. A great actor – and a pretty cool bloke, too. I think I will have to catch up with his back catalogue now.
PS: No worries, Richard is still #1, though 😉
OT: Observations on the SD with #DavidTennant Confession: I don't have any side dishes, collateral attractions or 'guilty pleasures' besides my one and only crush.
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Laments in 3 parts
Lament part I
Not Les Mis related just sayin’... what you find here are: feelings, life and a couple of progress pics to lessen the pain.
I know my posts are... sparse in number, to say the least. I also know that most of my followers started to follow me due to my les mis related drawings. So every time when I felt like sharing some personal details, or write a random post, I was like “ow no, don’t do it, you just waste others' time, nobody cares about your shit and so-called 'problems', they are just whinings anyway (fuck, if you want to know what 'problem' really means, check out the news)."
Almost everyone knows this feeling I guess - when your bitch of mind is your worst enemy.
But... maybe we should take it as a challenge.
Take it as a challenge and resist the urge to say 'sorry' after telling what needs to be told, or taking the blame for something what has nothing to do with you. Say 'no' to things what you don't want to do, and don't feel bad about it. Say 'no' to shame, sorrow, doubt and fear.
Harder than one might think! I try to live like this since last month and still fail in it every day. Like, I have deleted 5 'sorry'-s and 14 self-degrading sentences so far. I do not want to say sorry for my feelings anymore, or see them a burden what's unfair to share. If writing them out helps me then I have to do so.
To be honest, I wanted to put a "keep reading" button at the very beginning, but then I realized - that's exactly the root of the problem. The need to hide away even from myself, to feel unworthy, and frightened by exposure.
And the sad truth is that whatever happened in the past, I did this to myself. It was not a conscious decision to close up like a seashell of course, but it's time to take responsibility for myself. I have to open up. I have to re-learn how to let things in, and out. How to let a person close, be an old friend or a stranger. How to trust.
I want to be brave and happy again. I want to get better.
So I refuse to put that "keep reading" button there.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lament part II
And now... let's practise this "sharing" thing.
I work as an au-pair right now, and the little girl I look after always asks somebody to check on her after bedtime. This person is usually her mummy but she travels a lot (like, for 4 days or one whole week) due to her work, and the task then falls on me. Her mom said it isn't really necessary to do so, though - if she is sleeping she will never know if you checked on her or not. The surprising thing is that this possibility of cheating has never occurred to the little girl. Well, I skipped the check-ons many times (still do) I admit that, but I felt bad about it so I usually crept to the door as she asked, but did not go into the room. Mostly bc she was a very poor sleeper in my first couple of months with her and did not wish to wake her up accidently and screw up my night with it.
It was too good to last for long. After the third time period or so alone, she finally stated the logical question:
"How will I know if you checked on me?"
Lol, how indeed...
So that night I made her very first bedtime note. Just a silly drawing on a piece of paper, a little girl in her bed and a short message (something like "I was here at 21:15"). I made three more at that week.
It worked. She loved them.
And the thing is, her mom loved them even more. She liked them so much that she asked me to draw some more so she can collect them and put them on the wall in a nice frame, well how lovely that would be.
I was flattered and happy, said OK but from that minute I just didn't feel so thrilled about this whole bedtime note thing. As that Lakota proverb says: "Force, no matter how concealed, begets resistance." I have made more than 60 bed-time notes so far but only 10 or 15 which I really felt like, "wow I got I good idea for this one, let's do it" (I might share some of them later on). And this - to be unhappy while drawing and almost unable to perform - made me wonder if it was a good idea to pursue this utopia, to draw for a living. And I don't really dare to look at the bottom of this question bc the next logical one is this: "What to do, then?"
And the answer is... nothing. I don't want to do anything. I feel no calling, no enthusiasm by anything, or not for long enough. And I am tired and numb by fear.
The worst thing that maybe drawing IS part of the problem. ("Am I a part of the cure? Or am I part of the disease?") I can't say I'm happy when I'm drawing but I'm in this flowing, timeless state and I feel nothing then. Nothing in a good way. I thought that helps. But maybe this is just a defensive mechanism on my part - I draw bc it makes (made) me feel safe. I draw to isolate myself from the world in body, mind and soul. To shut down, don't think, just be. To procrastinate dealing with Real Life.
All I know that it makes me angry when I feel like drawing and I can't, or when I have to draw something else what I feel for (even if the former is for free and the latter is for money... especially then).
Btw money - let's get back to my host mom/boss. 2 weeks ago she asked if I would draw a picture for her company. She offered 20 pound for it and I said yes bc it actually did seem interesting, so why not? So I asked about the details but haven't gotten much, only vague ideas. I made sketches, made modifications as her idea got more clear (but not much clearer). Never, ever say yes to a job where the customer has no idea what she/he/they actually wants! (yep it seems evident now...).
I have shoved her every progress, she was happy with them.
Then, at the very end of the project, she said there was a different style in her mind. Hand-made watercoloured picture to name it.
For God's sake, man... She knew how my style looks like. She knew I was working on the computer. She saw all the WIP pics.
I thought back the late week then - all the hours I spent drawing it, all the night I could have spent working on something else, or just sleep. I mean, there was at least 3 days when I did not get away from the computer for 5 constant hours, not even to pee. I was thinking of the burning sensation in my eyes (not crying, just too much hours in front of the computer). I was doing some quick maths then - how much time did I waste on this, exactly?... Let's be gracious here - 20 hours or so.
Let's just pretend for a funny moment that I actually hold a proper job, and also pretend that a proper job can be compared to art.
The minimum wage over 25 is currently 7.20 pound per hour in the UK, I just checked it. If you are an apprentice then 3.40, this is the minimum of minimums.
When I said OK to this project I did not do it for the money, but anyway, let's just take out our pocket calculator, shall we? (if you mess with the zero then you don't even need one:)
20 x 7.20 = 144 20 x 3.40 = 68
So. At that point, all my sense of humor has left me.
And the worst part? I felt disappointed - in myself. I felt I failed her. That the whole shit is my fault. And that after all this work, I still owe her. I owe her a finished piece of art, watercoloured as she wants, even if watercolouring (OK, colouring in general) is as far out of my comfort zone as it is possible. I am the line-art type and not the colour type of person. But I felt I have to become a master of watercolour for next day no matter what and DO THE THING.
She has been so kind to print the line-art for me. I told her that I try to do my best but for watercolouring you have to use aquarelle paper.
Some harmful, ill determination and maximalism what made me finish this project. I bought paper, brushes, watercolours, all from my own money. I was not even thinking anymore. If any HR manager asks me during a job interview if I am a dedicated person, I shall tell them this story. (Then they can send me away for being such an idiot.)
Yes, I know I am an idiot. What else can I be when I still feel disappointed in myself, convinced that she did not like the final piece and only that damned English Politeness made her say what she said, and that I almost refused to take the 20 pound when she gave it to me today?
I reckon everyone reading this has already guessed that the whole post is about "releasing some steam". Here, I release some of the progress pics, too, out of gratitude that you haven't clicked on the "unfollow" button yet:
The original concept what I got: 1) hares 2) big hats.
Some random sketches and stages:
She wanted only 3 hares having tea and cylinders like the Mad Hatter's in Alice in Wonderland. (couldn't you just say this much at the very beginning?)
Line art without the hats
Final line-art
Here is the flower border what she asked for (and what I spent one of those constant 5 hours on), and which was not needed after all.
Before colouring
Finished colouring (it's a fabric company and they wanted to show off their new collection on the hats)
Desperate attempt to make it less line-work-ish
Final watercoloured shit
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lament part III
The gall of me. I am not only an idiot, but an ungrateful, selfish one.
I hesitated to post this as my mind has been mocking me with one word during the whole time while writing it:
fanfiction
I plan to dedicate a proper post for this topic alone some time. For now, I just want to say that reading fanfictions is, shame or not, one of the most important aspect of my life. I have been reading them for more than a decade now, but they were my fuel of life in the last for 3 years or so. I can't be grateful enough for all the stories which kept (and still do keep) me going, and the authors who share their work, not for 20 pound or for one million as they deserve, but for free, without any lament.
If I were religious I would say: God bless you all. I wish you the very best and everything what you might wish for yourselves.
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Who is the best life insurance company?
Who is the best life insurance company?
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