#also ask me for sources and i'll get some! just not able to atm

[florenceisfalling]

Good thing here is idk what cafab is and I'm actually very curious why your prefer it! The vague explanation I got from a search was a start, but your experience using that term would help me better understand it as someone with a cognitive disability! /gen

anon you phrased this very kindly, thank you!

there r two common uses of the term casab/cagab, aka "coercively assigned sex/gender at birth." the first is in a specific intersex context and the second is in a more general gender context. there's some controversy on which usage came first.

the first is because intersex people are mistreated by the medical field from the very start of their lives. in order to force them into the binary criteria of "male" or "female," doctors often 1.) decide to pick a sex for them and/or 2.) make surgical changes before they are old enough to know. sometimes, the parents are not even informed or asked. it is unnecessary, sometimes dangerous, and exists solely to coerce people into the idea of "normal" gender and sex. their gender assignment itself is coercive.

i use it more generally, however*. intersex people are not the only ones who experience coercion in regards to their gender. when someone's gender is assigned at birth, it is not just a medical statement, but quickly influences them in a cultural way. looking at gender reveal parties paints a pretty good picture of this. society assumes from the moment you're assigned a gender that it is an immutable part of you, you will follow the social rules of it, and you will never be able to change it. deviating from that birth assignment is unacceptable to society. its used to coerce people into a life they may not want, whether that be because they are trans or just cis and non-conforming to gender roles.

of course, most doctors aren't pulling an evil scheme when assigning a non-intersex person's gender, they're just noting a physical observation. it's important to know what genitals and hormones someone has in order to treat them for certain medical needs. for that reason, the queer community has generally fallen out of practice using "cagab" for people who are not intersex. they use "agab" instead. but some bioessentialism come up in the trans community, and certain otherwise progressive people seem to have lost sight of the ideal of abolishing the binary. some of them seem to have forgotten about intersex folks entirely. you see people make generalizing statements about "afab" this or "amab" that, ignoring the fact that not everyone's assigned sex was correct, and there is no universal gender experience. you see women's groups trying to be more inclusive by saying "afabs" rather than something else that would be more inclusive of trans women. you see people who use "amab" when they mean "person with a penis," even though phalloplasty exists so some trans men have penises. so even queer people who act progressive have fallen into the trap of seeing your assigned sex as an immutable, specific, accurate category that sticks to you forever. to combat that idea, i prefer to use "cagab/casab" regardless of if the person in question is intersex or not.

*i wouldn't call myself intersex, but i genuinely do not know. some people consider the condition i have to be an intersex one, as it changes my hormone levels and reproductive system, but others do not. my doctors are not entirely sure what other conditions may be affecting me.

tl;dr: intersex people's "assigned sex" is often not their actual sex nor accurate to their physical condition, and is tied to medical abuse. their sex assignment is coercive. as for the rest of the world, our gender assignment forces us into rigid categories, and is also flawed. i like to use "cagab" for both reasons.

i hope this makes sense and i'm sorry if it's confusing :'D! i can break it down further if i need to

[christhetree256]

hey can you tell me about glow? or what your currently hyper fixating on? Why that specificly? what’s your favorite part of it?

I'll do the first one, since my current hyperfixation is just pressure atm.

Ok, so I've decided to do some changes to Glow's experimentation history, and how they would work in game because the original didn't make a whole lot of since.

Glow, instead of being made to just play god and replicate human life, was instead a test to see if they could make something that could mimic human life. So Glow's dna consists of glittle (the electric sea slug critters), mimic octopus (only sea creature, discluding its close relative, to mimic other aquatic creatures), random mold that was growing nearby (accidental, it just kinda happened and nobody did anything about it), and human (obvious reasons). At first, Glow was just a big blob of slime that required electricity. But, as time went on and people interacted with Glow, they slowly started warping their form to match that of the people who studied them (mainly 1 researcher I still need to name, so Imma call them The Doctor for the moment). Since the mimicry worked, Urbanshade tried to see if they could use it to their advantage. Tests included seeing if they could mimic people from images, replicate voices (they also had to teach Glow English for that one), and durability. Even though the whole point was to make something to mimic, Glow was terrible at it, so they gave up on that and tried to see where they could be useful. This ends up looping back to the whole mid-battle power source idea. When the actual breach happened, Glow mostly just fled and hid, only "disarming" people (usually breaking bones) if threatened. They did go out of their way to find The Doctor, but the recordings of that time went missing and still haven't been recovered.

Game mechanic wise, Glow gets a extra little gimmick. Since having Glow as an enemy and npc doesn't make sense, this is where that mold comes in. That little extra bit of dna gave Glow the ability to split off parts of themself, being able to control them from some-what long distances. This allows for the drop-on-you-and-steal-item-charge to work while still being able to find Glow as a rare encounter in High-Containment (they just vibin). But that's most of what I got for the silly little guy rn, thank you for asking :3.

[tansyuduri]

Hi, do you mind if I ask, what do you think are Merlin and Arthurt’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? Thanks if you want to answer....

Of course, I'll answer! I love answering questions! It's hard for me to put into words the answer to the first question. (For some reason these things are a LOT easier to express in fic) For Merlin it is devotion to the people closest to him. This is a man who will do almost anything for those he cares about. He will choose them EVERY TIME. He might struggle with it and choose something else might be more objectivly "right" and feel bad about it.

And some of his greatest struggles deciding what to do come from having to decide between what he is told might happen in teh future (AKA kid mordred and early morgana) and what to do now.

But usually he will choose the well being of the people he cares about (ESP ARTHUR) Especially if no one around him is in imidate danger (AKA Sins of the father magic statement) By season 5 this is at an extreme level and he has Arthur tunnel vision. The key thing here is this comes from a place of caring. It comes from him caring so much. Its his kindness and golden heart twisted by destiny, responsability, and some pretty horrible advice (That at least from one source is ALSO well-meaning) Hes basically told from day one that the entire responsibility for keeping Arthur safe is ALL on him. And he takes that to heart. For Arthur It's harder to pinpoint. But 99.9 percent of it is generational trauma from uther. From having a hard time expressing and processing emotions. (leading to lashing out) To the self-hate that spurs a lot of his acting out and trying to be more sure of himself. Hes a good person but doesn't always know how to express it right because he was not given the right tools. One thing I bring up in one of my fics is also that I'm pretty convinced at least subconsciously one of the reasons Arthur has such a hard time with magic is that IF it's good then in his view his very birth caused horrible things to happen to innocent people. He would self-blame. (Despite it being on uther) Despite this, he still asks himself questions about it being good. This is a bit rambly. Their best personality trait, for both of them as far as I am concerned are their hearts of gold. They are human but they are both such GOOD people. Now for their dynamics, I'm a sucker for banter so thats one thing. But I think what I like most about them both is that they can/could help heal each other. They are good for each other. Given time I think they would help each other heal from their trauma and the hardships they have faced. Just by being themselves. (I kinda live for that dynamic) We didn't get to see this as much from Arthur because so much was kept from him until the last episode. As someone who has deals with trauma a lot the idea of a pairing that can help heal each other and help each other be better is VERY appealing. We didn't get a chance to see the full extent of that in cannon though we do see a lot. One of the most important and meaningful parts of writing fanfic for me is being able to see them heal a bit, and help each other with that. (though a lot of Arthurs happens in the prequal fic to the one I am posting right now. Fair warning. The one I posting ATM mostly focuses on Merlin Trauma)

[nathank77]

4/20/24

3:36 a.m edited/added to 3:50 a.m

So I took that shower, and shaved my head and face once I stopped having sporadic heart palpitations. I really think I'm going to be diagnosed by a cardiologist with panic attacks and I'm worried it'll affect my insomnia prescription.

They give you antidepressants for it sometimes and I'll straight up refuse. I'm ommitting psychosis but antidepressants are always pushed. Of course they could perscribe me .25 of xanax for panic attacks intermittently. Idk I'm just afraid it'll make me lose my current script so I started panicking about that.

Then I started panicking about my report for Kristen bc of the freedom of Information act. People will see I'm lying about psychosis but I mean you can't tell I have hallucinations... so I mean if I say I got better and I act like I have been, how can you prove it? But can my Doctors see it when I submit it? Can anyone look it up like say a motor vehicle ticket or a court case? Cause that's concerning if anyone could look it up including my current Dr's.

I tried to look up complaints ingeneral in ct against therapists and doctors and I couldn't find a site with any information. Either way Mike was right about it and it was making me panic and have palpitations as I read about it bc I don't want this label anymore but Kristen needs to go fucking down. She needs to be stripped of her license. She's fucking negligent.

When I stopped reading and said as for right now the report isn't finished. Also I can say I refuse to take antidepressants and I can ask if I get a psychiatrist from my cardiologist, if getting a benzodiazepine script will stop my current script from my PCP bc at that point it isn't worth it. But it could be a heart condition but I think I got diagnosed at the ER for anxiety for a reason....

Once I stopped reading everything and thinking about it they stopped. However I think Kristen is the source of the problem... I can't stand that she is getting paid as a negligent therapist for months at a time while I suffer and she couldn't even say she's sorry when I'll never hear the wind in the trees again without hearing an auditory hallucination. When I'll never have silence again. She's getting paid and my life is ruined and constant chatter is necessary and it makes my life intolerable.

I had some palpitations out of the shower but I guess I'm just developing panic disorder I don't have to treat it with antidepressants right? As for Kristen I'm worried anyone including say my PCP will be able to read it and see NATHAN IS GOING TO LIE TO EVERYONE TO GET TREATED AS A HUMAN. That's my concern. Kristen still deserves to lose her license. Mike gave me real anxiety but he wasn't wrong. I just don't know how you find the information.

Anyways this is my head:

I wish I had lotion. That wasn't like extreme lotion for my hands that fall apart from washing them.. as a bald guy I should know better than to shave more than once every 4 or 5 days. I forgot when I used to shave every other day my skin got mad. That's why I started buzzing it with no gaurd instead.

Anyways I'm a warrior for fighting all these mental health issues and doing everything I do, it's hard and I feel like a warrior with an arrow in my knee or something but I'm still fighting, blood stained and partially dead, but more alive than I've ever been cause I love this guy and he is worth fighting for:

Silverstein is my vice atm. Silverstein is becoming my favorite band tbh. I like, like 50 of their songs lol idk if they top linkin park but it's fucking close.

[avpdgirlfriend]

🍄: hello! if I may ask since ur a personal blog surrounding hpd and all, what are the ways these symptoms sort of manifest? i am questioning atm and i find myself kind of resonating w/ these ones in particular since they feel familiar to me in some way. i might need some like… elaborating because *some of them seem to confuse me. there isn’t that much info about hpd at all from what i could find :(

- being uncomfortable when not being the center of attention

- rapid mood swings

- impressionistic style of speech that lacks in detail*

- being theatrical / hyperbolic*

- easily influenced / naive*

- misreading relationships and considering them to be closer than they actually are*

thank you for your time <:)

- being uncomfortable when not being the center of attention what it says on the tin but some personal examples, i get uncomfortable sometimes when there's a conversation going on and i'm not the center of it, or i don't get "enough" (or the "right") responses, especially in comparison to someone else. i feel jealous and inferior when others receive compliments, or get any kind of positive attention. sometimes i have to leave or mute things because it upsets me too much - rapid mood swings not sure what to say for this one, sorry!! /g (if you have a more specific question i might be able to answer? no guarantee though) - impressionistic style of speech that lacks in detail okay so how i interpret this one is basically. saying things you don't really mean/believe for the sake of it and not having anything to back it up? i joke a lot that i say things for recreational purposes lol but an example of this is me overenthusiastically agreeing with someone for their approval when i have no idea what they are talking about or i don't actually care or agree, or adding in a buuncch of fluff and empty words that don't actually mean anything. - being theatrical / hyperbolic exaggerating your emotions, self, etc, intentionally or unintentionally because the more intense(?) something is the more attention it will get naturally. like saying "this kind of sucks" vs "this is the worst thing to ever happen to me, i'm going to kill myself" i also present myself differently to how i feel internally, kind of like i'm playing a character, or putting on an act/performance- like me right now acting more sure of what i'm saying than i actually am, lol - easily influenced / naive going with whatever someone else says because you want the attention or being easily manipulated because now they approve of you so it's all okay again! - misreading relationships and considering them to be closer than they actually are i'm not sure what this is for people generally, but for me i'll think of someone as a friend when we're really just acquaintances, or i'll think of someone as really close to me when i know logically they aren't. i thinkk because even the smallest bit of approval/positive attention is much more important to me than it would be for other people, i kind of mentally put them higher up on the friendship ladder than they would be and think of them more affectionately. but idk this is mostly based on my own experience because that's the best way i can communicate it so like disclaimer i have other disorders that influence things and am only one individual etc etc, hopefully this helps at least a little bit though even though i'm not a credible source </3 /gen

[gayforcarstairsgirls]

Yeah sure! I'm gonna be honest it's been a year or two since I did my last bit of deep-dive research into what was up with Brendon Urie, so I know where I stand on him because of the information I have found but the info itself I am reluctant to try and quote because I'm inevitably gonna get something slightly wrong when I try to explain it, and also my phone is on 3% so I really have to keep this brief-

One reason is that since all the other members left (esp Ryan Ross and Jon Walker in 2009) the vibe of the band has changed very drastically, and it sort of has felt recently that he's just dragging around the dead corpse of panic! to make money from it, like it's just not the band anymore, so it's nice to see it finally ending

Another thing (this is where I would have to refresh my research and I can't do that atm) is that Brendon Urie himself is kind of a questionable person, with a history of saying some racist and sexist stuff, and it's also kind of an open secret that some part members of the band (especially Dallon Weekes and his wife) were mistreated in the band

I think the big turning point in Brendon Urie's reputation tho was the Zack Hall thing, where his bodyguard and good friend Zack Hall turned out to be a guy who you should Not Let Interact With Girls Who Are Minors Because It's A Bit Concerning

And shit my phone is on 2% but I really wanted to answer this now. Tomorrow if I can I'll try and find a post that explains it well and can give you more solid examples than I've been able to pull out of my head just now! The general vibe is just that it was really really time for panic! to end, and that Brendon Urie really did not represent the good things about the band (and is also a Bit Of A Dodgy Person) and the other former members deserved better

If I've got some information wrong here then I am very sorry-

I hope this was in some way helpful CK?? I've explained this so terribly I'm so sorry 😂 I really don't know if I am the best person to ask about this because I am by no means an expert on the topic (although if you'd asked me about a year or so again I could have given you so much information on this and all my sources for it too, went through an intense Panic! oriented research phase lol), but I am happy to try and explain!

I'm kinda afraid to ask... But can I ask what the drama surrounding panic at the disco is?

As in the reason everyone doesn't like Brendon Urie and is so happy that the band is over?