#also also idk if this is a conscious self-constraint or if it's muscle memory from his time in Kiri

[kururisa]

Having now rewatched [select Naruto episodes] an unspeakable---nigh uncountable---amount of times, I think the disparity between Kisame’s movement in action scenes versus the rest of the show speaks volumes about his character.

In combat, the Kisame we see isn’t just mobile, but unnecessarily so. He doesn’t stop at sicking sharks on someone; he has to physically surf alongside his summons. He twirled on a pole when meeting Taka for no discernible reason, and he repeatedly launches himself toward opponents and does flips and leaps in battles that literally do not call for that kind of behavior.

At first blush, this could all be taken as a limitation of his movepool. Kisame is a water-style user with a sword; ergo, he’s going to swim and swing at people. Upon closer inspection, however, the number of effective long-distance strategies one could prepare for his jutsu set & equipment compared to directly physical strategies becomes egregious.

Hide behind a tree. Rain Water Shark Wave. Go underground, since that’s a thing Kisame can do, and let summoned sharks in a water prison take over. Use more water clones. Heck, not even Kisame’s sword is forcing him as close to the action as he’s getting, since the handle extends like a retractable whip and the blade is a spiky purple Chain Chomp. Let Samehada run free!! Turn the arena into a big aquarium and feed the sharks!! Go to a convenience store and buy some jelly donuts!!! Kisame!!! You’re burning way too many calories over nothing!!!

No, Kisame doesn’t need to act the way he does in battle. He’s being Extra™️, and he loves it. After all, he’s a bloodthirsty beefcake who ‘never tires’ and ‘wishes to fight anyone.’ Strength and stamina?? Those are 5s in his databook entry. Kisame’s always down for completely superfluous feats of gymnastic fortitude. The dude’s nearly unstoppable.

Enter: Kisame, remaining perfectly stationary for extended periods of time. For someone who volunteers gratuitous physicality in combat, it’s notable how still he stays otherwise. Talk as he might, Kisame’s body language is restricted to the occasional sword-over-shoulder pose, or the rare hands-vaguely-before-me pose. I saw him cross his arms in a movie once. Such active! Very movement!! In any given non-combat situation, you could swap Kisame for a cardboard cutout without losing anything but snark. Tape a walkie-talkie to the back and no one would be the wiser.

How is this, though? How does someone as energetic as Kisame stop on a dime?? How does someone so Hidan in the sheets get so Itachi on the streets???

The answer is going to sound obvious, but I really think this prior context makes all the difference. A couple “sorry”s and “pardon me”s and we take this for granted, but...

He’s well-mannered. 

Kisame isn’t bouncing around like Tobi NOT because he doesn’t have the energy, or even that he completely disapproves of those sorts of displays, but because he’s trying to be respectful. Kisame goes bananas when he’s given permission to do so, but ONLY when he’s given permission to do so. Newton’s first law: Sharkman edition. Truly, a Man Who Can Do Both. Other memes go here. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.