#also actually no school setting for any of them (I could indulge Ford as a senior university student I suppose)

[littleragondin]

i wanna hear your wheel spins

PLEASE

OMG 🙈 well, thank you for asking and sorry in advance for the potential word cascade... the wheel spins are done using the wonderful tool made by @lovesickfolly (thank you for this 💜💜)

I have NO self control so I ran the wheel with three different actors lol

First I picked Pawin because he is my favorite plus he's pretty versatile and I want him in everything. The wheel picked Pepper. Both are 27 so I would love an out of school setting for them please. Pawin I'm confident could make it work with anybody (still salty about his aborted crumbs with Satang). I think I'd like something a little more serious/dark for those two, something about grief or guilt maybe? Very "two person who shouldered heartbreak and trauma and responsibilities too early find each other and, in the midst of it all, find comfort in the other and, perhaps, get a chance to start healing" kind of story you know? It would probably need an ensemble cast (at least one of them needs a family with siblings - mostly bc I'm a sucker for siblings and the emotional weight they can bring). There would be a lot of crying. A lot of warmth, too. Specifically I would like a hopeful but not fairytale end. I think I'd really like to see them get a shot at two very hurt, very scarred people trying to build something together.

And then I picked Pod because I saw him get the 2nd lead treatment in the Wandee Goodday's trailer this morning and thought he deserved to get the boy somewhere today xd. For him, the wheel gave me Ford. Was a little unsure at first, but you know what? they could give me a nice age-gap romance. Not necessarily something groundbreaking, but Ford has such a soft and charming presence he would do great in a very classic tropey romance. Maybe something about a slightly jaded and over worked Pod (who works from home) learning to love again (maybe he's out of a bad divorce, or he's just generally disappointed by love) with the adorable new neighbor (they meet because Ford has lost his cat (a grumpy thing as old as he is) and tries to see if the neighbors saw him. The beast has been hanging on Pod's sofa for the last week and a half). Something cute and fluffy, a little comedic (while I have my reservations about his character, Pod was very funny in Tonhon Chonlatee). There will be a "taking care of the other when he gets sick" scene. Ford has to sing somehow. And wear an apron (he wants to cook something to thank Pod for taking care of the cat. It fails catastrophically. Maybe Pod could teach him next time? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Finally, I picked Mike (like you kfdsaj;kla) because. I just always find him delightful in everything I see him in. The wheel gave me Phuwin - because apparently the wheel said it's an age-gap day lol. And while they are not that far apart in age, my mind immediately jumped to Beyond Evil for some reason. So while I don't think I'd want something as dark for them, I think it could be fun to see them in some sort of thriller with Mike as a competent but a bit 'out there' detective (the leather jacket and bike are a must, I make the rules here) having to work with a straight laced, brilliant and young ... either detective or lawyer or SOMETHING for Phuwin (who has to wear glasses, again my game, my rules) and see them learn to tolerate then appreciate then love each other, including a climax involving one of them almost dying in the other's arms. Who nearly dies I leave to chance, throw the dices about it. There would be so much bickering. Some wound tending, obviously. Phuwin's character clinging to Mike's for dear life the first time he takes him on the bike. Protecting each other. Yeah I would love to see that actually.

This makes me realize, once again, how branding pairs robs me (yes, me, personally) of so. many. options. (even if the only branded pair actor in my selection is Phuwin, my comment still stand xd)

[sincerelyreidburke]

Don't know why but all of the sudden I'm starting to wonder, what exactly was going through Quinn's mind after Nando left the Halloween party?

Something like this!

(Thank you for the ask!!!!!🤍🤍🤍)

//

Quinn has been waiting all night.

What for, he isn’t sure. The catch, maybe. For the other shoe to drop. He thought, beyond a doubt, that making the active decision to attend a frat party would mean bad news for him. That something would go wrong, something had to. Nevermind that it’s his first real college party in the first place— it’s also the ice hockey team.

And it’s not that he has anything against hockey. It’s popular back home, and he knows Samwell won some kind of a big game last year. It’s just that Quinn Cooper and sports do not usually mix. He tends to stay far away from that kind of action. The closest he’s gotten to a sport would probably be playing Troy in that one community production of High School Musical the summer before eleventh grade.

The point is, he really counted on something going wrong tonight.

And you could ask, hm, why would a person get himself into a situation out of which he was only expecting something to go wrong? The truth is… Quinn just wanted to branch out a bit, push his comfort zone. He likes Denice, thinks she’s sweet, and he’s grateful she invited everybody to the party.

Also, he made his costume. He didn’t really get a chance to wear it for much longer than the hour-long drama club general membership meeting (Halloween edition) on Thursday night. And if he didn’t go out tonight, he would’ve just spent it holed up in his room looking for bootlegs online.

Thus: frat party. The Samwell Hockey Haus. The… cutest boy he’s ever seen.

He didn’t plan on this, didn’t factor boys into his agenda for the evening. He thought he would be spending time with Denice, and, yes, okay, probably meeting some hockey players, but not… this. Not sitting on the porch with one until long past midnight, losing track of time in the conversation. Not this lightness in his chest he’s not sure he’s ever felt before.

He’s not going to read too far into this, because he doesn’t get his hopes up. Even though this guy made a sexuality-disclosing comment no less than ten minutes into their conversation tonight. And even though he let down his own guard enough to do the same himself— much later, but he still did it.

He’s met other gay guys. He does theatre, for the love of God. He’s just… never really met someone quite like Sebastián. Never hit it off so easily with a guy, never completely lost track of time talking to him like that.

But he isn’t going to get his hopes up. He can’t.

He pushes his way back into the living-room of the house after Sebastián’s friend in the chef costume takes him away for the night. He wonders, dimly, if he’ll ever see him again, but then again, if he can find him through Denice, would it really be that difficult?

Besides, who knows if Sebastián would even want to see him again. He kept him all night, while his hockey friends partied inside. Something in him knows that if he hadn’t showed up to this party, Sebastián’s night would have likely gone very differently. It would’ve… been more fun, probably. He feels a little guilty for it.

There’s still something of a disaster scene going on inside the actual frat house, overseen by the DJ in the robot mask, who, by the way, seems to run on a never-ending supply of energy. Quinn stands to the side of the front door and goes straight for the volume in his ears, turning it down to a level that allows him to be able to hear himself think again without the constant intrusion of bass. He can still feel the floor vibrate with the sound. Apparently, the DJ has no concept of volume control.

Now to find Denice. He’ll thank her, and then he’ll go back to his room and sleep. A respectable amount.

And maybe, the next time he sees her, he’ll ask about Sebastián. Maybe. He’s not sure he wants to let himself do that. There would be no use setting himself up for rejection, if it turns out he isn’t interested.

But tonight… what a lovely night. It can’t have been a fluke.

He wants to listen to Grease. It was playing earlier anyway.

Cautiously, he steps into the general crowd. Denice’s skirt was bright-pink, and he thinks that would make her easy to spot, but he isn’t having any luck scanning the room for her. Tony isn’t anywhere to be seen, either. He tries to avoid sweaty bodies and/or being trampled by tall people as he searches for a familiar face, but there’s nothing. It’s a wall of unfamiliarity. He hasn’t seen any of these people before.

Maybe this is where the other shoe drops. He gets lost and disoriented, a useless drama club freshman, in a hockey party crowd.

He should have just gone back to Wilson with Sebastián and his friend.

“Hey, are you okay?”

He must look lost, which is horribly embarrassing, but evident given the look on the person’s face who has just said this to him. It’s a tall guy, probably just as tall as Sebastián was, and he’s standing against the wall next to another, equally tall guy. They must be hockey players. “You look slightly stressed,” the guy adds.

Quinn really doesn’t want to be laughed at or made fun of. He puts up his guard. “I’m alright,” he replies, squaring his shoulders like they aren’t what feels like a foot taller than him. “Have you seen Denice?”

“Oh, Ford?” The guy who spoke smiles a little, then shakes his head. He has brown skin and green eyes, with a backwards red ball cap over his curly hair, and he’s very handsome. Also, he’s holding the other guy’s hand, and he’s tucked it into his back pocket. There’s a stuffed animal of some kind in another of his pockets. A lobster or a crab, maybe? “She went to bed, I think.”

“She was chaperoning her tipsy boyfriend,” adds the other guy, who is possibly the most ginger person Quinn has ever seen in his life. “He… can be a lot when he’s drunk.”

The first guy laughs knowingly. “But we can pass a message along to her,” he says, “if you need. Yoo— wait!” Something like realization dawns on his face. He seems a little tipsy, too, but definitely not completely drunk. “Are you her drama freshman?”

Oh, gee. Does Quinn have a reputation among the hockey team already? “I am,” he replies, standing his ground. The good news is that neither of the guys seem to have any interest in making fun of them. “I just wanted to thank her for inviting me.”

“Ohh. That’s cool, man.” The red hat guy pauses. “Sorry she left. I’ll chirp her tomorrow, if you want.”

Quinn has no idea what this means. He brushes off the lapel of his jacket. “I suppose I can just text her.”

“Do you need anything?” asks the ginger. His ears are huge. “There’s water in the kitchen.”

“Oh, I’m quite alright.” Quinn pauses. He should just get out of here. He doesn’t feel uncomfortable, exactly, especially not knowing these two hockey players are holding hands in plain sight— but he’d feel much more comfortable back in his bed. “But thank you,” he adds. “I think I’d best get back to my room.”

“Do you need a walking buddy?” asks red hat guy.

“Oh, goodness, no.” Quinn smooths his hair. “But thank you. I do appreciate it.”

“Of course, bro,” he replies. “Stay safe out there. Have a good night.”

“Thank you; I will.” He nods over his shoulder at the both of them, then signs goodbye. “You as well.”

The crowd takes just as much effort to push back through, and when he finally emerges back out onto the porch, he dusts himself off and takes a deep breath. That was a far too sweaty and crowded experience for his liking. It was much nicer being out here, on the porch with Sebastián, having a conversation.

He shakes himself out a little on his way down the front steps. He shouldn’t be daydreaming about a boy he just met tonight, especially one he’s not sure he’ll ever get the chance to see again.

Should he ask Denice? Maybe he should just ask Denice.

But— not tonight, he decides, as he walks away from the frat house and back towards the street. In the morning, he’ll decide if he wants to ask Denice about him.

Tonight, he’ll go back to his room. He’ll get changed and put his costume away. He’ll possibly listen to Grease. He’ll indulge himself in this daydream just a little longer, because he still can’t shake that lighthearted feeling.

But after that, he’ll go to bed. And in the morning, he’ll text Denice to thank her.

And after that… well, he’ll cross that bridge when he comes to it.

[pines-troz]

New Middle Name

**Ford used to associate family with high expectations, selfishness, betrayal, and mistrust. But over the course of that fateful summer, Ford learned many valuable lessons from Dipper, Mabel and Stan; that teamwork would accomplish the most difficult of tasks, how trust should be given to those who earned it, and that second chances are possible in this world.

Now he wants nothing more than to show his family his gratitude for them.

Based on a headcanon of mine that I shared on tumblr with @a-million-chromatic-dreams**

April 11, 2013

Aboard the Stan O’War II gently sailed the cold waters of the Northern Pacific Ocean. Stan and Ford Pines recently completed their supernatural mission on the Arctic Ocean. They come across a threatening Kraken, some buried treasure and no babes (much to Stanley’s dismay). The two brothers had finished traversing the Bering Strait and were a day’s trip away from Nome, Alaska, which was the perfect place to stock up on supplies.

Since there was a low amount of food on the ship, the seafaring brothers had to make do with what little food they had in the cabin for dinner. Stan indulged himself with a tub of ice cream, while Ford was rummaging through the cabinets for something to satisfy his sweet tooth.  

The twins were glad to have gone on their dream trip together. They were able to make up for forty years of cold shoulders, betrayal and separation of a terrifyingly cosmic scale. Though Ford and Stan learned to make up during the end of the world, it would only make sense that they would continue to mend their relationship by embarking on an abnormal expedition.

That’s not to say that their time sailing the world was a walk in the park. Both brothers had their fair share of bad days on the boat. Stan would be revisited by painful memories of his years on the run from the authorities. Other times it would be during the ten-plus years spent as a homeless grifter, a hapless prisoner, or a desperate man trying to fend himself from the vicious men he owed money to. Ford was also haunted by his past. Most of the time it was the horrific abuse Bill Cipher had inflicted on him after refusing to open the portal. But there were instances in which both men remembered a dark figure that loomed over their childhoods: their father Filbrick Pines.

To say that their Pa was a stoic man would be a massive understatement. Filbrick was the type of man who rarely smiled and was never amused by sentimentality. Hidden behind his dark sunglasses were the eyes, constantly on watch for any misstep Stan and Ford would make. He also cast Stanley out on the streets and threw an already packed duffle bag at him, banning him from the Pines household before the poor teen had the chance to complete high school. The disgruntled father also channeled his disappointment into Ford, who expected their son to make millions after completing college. When Ford decided to pursue a career in studying anomalies, Filbrick was angry with his son’s decision and the two never spoke since.

Worst of all, his father would always be attached to Ford by namesake. When Ford and Stan were born, their father had lazily named both of their sons Stan, mainly because the couple never planned to have raise twins in addition to their older son Shermie. In addition, the man had the ego to insert his name as the middle name of the eldest twin.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eye! Stanford Filbrick Pines! My old pal!!”

Ford shuddered. The old man refused to revisit those horrible memories again. He needed to find a way to take his mind off of his past.

Shuffling through a couple empty boxes of crackers, he noticed a crumpled bag of jellybeans. Ford immediately retrieved the bag of his favorite candy from the cabinet and closed the door. The researcher inspected the item within the palms of his six-fingered hands. A close glance at the crinkled bag of sweets sent his mind back in time...

The summer sun shone on the grassy hill near the outskirts of Gravity Falls. Ford had brought his nephew Dipper near the town border to answer his biggest question: why the heck are there so many weird things in Gravity Falls is a magnet for all things weird. The scientist took out a handful of the jellybeans from the bag, including an oddly-formed one, and threw them down the hill. As the normal beans tumbled down the hill without issue, the deformed bean bounced upwards by the force-field surrounding the town.

Ford turned to his nephew, whose eyes widened with curiosity and fascination at the bizarre oddity. The boy had realized that Gravity Falls was a magnet that attracted all things strange and unusual. Everything from gnomes and leprecorns to people like Dipper and Ford, born with unusual anomalies such as weird birthmarks and polydactyly.

Ford put his hand on his nephew’s shoulder and smiled. “You and I are some of the strangest beans this town has ever seen, Dipper.”

“Mason,” The boy blurted out. He was shocked by what came out of his mouth. After a moment of silence he looked up to his great uncle and repeated what he said.

“My real name is Mason. Dipper is just a nickname. But everyone got used to it, and now it feels too late to tell everyone the truth.” He explained with an almost apologetic look on his face before casting his eyes downwards. “And it’s kind of a dumb name anyway. Don’t tell anyone.”

Ford was in awe by Dipper’s admission. He didn’t know what compelled the boy to tell him of all people the truth of his birth name. But the researcher’s heart swelled upon realizing that his nephew, the one person whom Ford held great admiration for and trusted the most had decided to confide in him.

Ford beamed at his nephew while gently tousling his hair. “Your secret’s safe with me, Mason.” He told Dipper. “And I think it’s a great name. The Masons are a great secret society, you know.”

Dipper gazed at his uncle and smiled. Seeing the look of joy on Dipper’s face made Ford realize how much his nephew had come to love him, something he had not received in an awfully long time. Not since his days with Jheselbraum the Unswerving had someone given him the trust and compassion he desperately needed.

Ford would forever be grateful for Dipper’s presence and companionship.

A warm smile appeared on his face.

Ford had learned to utilize his deformity as calling card, a badge of honor he could proudly showcase to the world. When Ford returned to Gravity Falls from the Nightmare Realm, he learned to become more comfortable with his polydactyly. Mabel complimented him on his fingers when she introduced herself. Dipper also looked past his physical flaw as the two spent time together. After Ford reclaimed his three journals, he read Dipper’s entries in his third book and was surprised to learn that his nephew’s nickname stemmed from his unusual birthmark.

Ford used to associate family with high expectations, selfishness, betrayal, and mistrust. But over the course of that fateful summer, Ford learned many valuable lessons from Dipper, Mabel and Stan; that teamwork would accomplish the most difficult of tasks, how trust should be given to those who earned it, and that second chances are possible in this world.

Now he wants nothing more than to show his family his gratitude for them.

“Earth to Ford!”

The researcher spun around to find his brother smirking at him while clutching onto his tub of ice cream. “Whatcha thinkin’ about?”

Ford looked over at Stan. “I’ve been reminiscing over the summer.”

Stan put his ice cream on the table and approached his twin, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Thinkin’ about the kids again?”

Ford gave his twin a knowing smile. “Every day.”

“Same here.” Stan agreed, smiling at the shared sentiment.

The researcher pushed his glasses upwards as he continued to speak. “But I’ve also been thinking about changing my middle name.”

“Really? You gonna change it to Isaac Newton or some other nerd name?” Stan joked. “At least then it would be a step up from Filbrick.”

“No, no.” He dismissed with a wave of his hand. Ford then placed his hands behind his back, his face softened. “I want my middle name to be Mason.”

Stanley’s eyes lit up. He had not heard that name in a while. Back in September, a while after Dipper and Mabel left Gravity Falls, Stan found an aged photograph in his wallet of his younger self holding two precious twins with a tearful smile. One look at the picture created a spark in his mind, reeling back to the day the niblings were born. He broke from his trance and ran to Ford. Stan showed his brother the picture and told him everything he could remember of that day;  Mabel punching the doctor in the jaw, Dipper cheating death after the umbilical cord was removed from his neck, how Stan was able to hold the precious twins before Shermie had the chance. He also told Ford how the twins were named Mabel and Mason so that they were even more special. From that day on Stan would never allow himself to forget that special day.  

Stanley looked to Ford and chuckled. “You actually have a great idea for once poindexter.”

Ford rolled his eyes before giving his brother a wry smile. “So you think Mason would be a good alternative.”

Stan lifted up his arm and playfully pulled Ford close to him. “I think it’s a great middle name Ford!”

Ford gratefully smiled back at his brother.

Mabel and Dipper were mindlessly watching a rerun of Cash Wheel at home when they heard a small buzzing sound. They looked around the room only to realize that it came from Mabel’s cell phone.

“Hello?” Mabel answered.

“Well hello Mabel dear.” Ford warmly replied on the other line. “How are things back home?”

The girl was surprised to hear her Grunkle's voice. Normally the Pines had set up their long video chats over the weekend, but it was a pleasant surprise that Ford had called on a Thursday.  

“Things are going well.” Mabel happily answered. “Dipper and I have been busy with school and all of the clubs we go to. I’ve been enjoying Art Club and Model U.N., and I’m sure Dipper will tell you all of the stuff he’s been up to with Band and Gaming Club.”

“All of that sounds wonderful sweetheart.” Ford said.

“We’ve also been thinking about you and Grunkle Stan a lot.”

Ford’s heart swelled. “I’m touched to hear that from you. Stanley and I are always thinking about you and your brother.”

“D’aww, Grunkle Ford…” Mabel cooed. She looked over at her brother and decided that he should have a turn speaking with their Grunkle. “Oh, you can talk with Dipper now if you want. I gotta finish working on my sweater for one of my friends.”

“Okay, well I enjoy hearing your voice again dear.”

“Love you Grunkle Ford!”

“I love you too Mabel.”

“Alright, here’s Dip-Dop!!” Mabel announced as she passed her phone to her brother.

The teen held the pink phone against his ear and spoke up. “Hey Grunkle Ford!”

“Greetings my boy.” Ford answered. “So Mabel informed me that you’re busy with school.”

“Yeah, I’ve got a truckload of stuff goin’ on, but I’m glad to have Mabel around during my down time.”

“Yes, having a sibling you can count on is always a blessing indeed.” Ford agreed. “So Dipper, I wanted to speak to you about something important.”

Dipper’s ears perked up and he went into the kitchen to better hear what Ford had to say. “Alright, you’ve piqued my interest.”

“So I’ve been thinking during my down time with Stan on the boat.”

“Careful Grunkle Ford, I heard that’s a dangerous pastime.” Dipper joked.

The researcher chuckled at his nephew’s jest. “Stan would tell me the same thing.” Ford laughed. He cleared his throat before getting back on topic. “But as I told Mabel, you and your sister are always on our minds. You kids showed a foolish old man such as myself how important family is...and I have another confession to make.”

Dipper cupped the cellphone closer to his ear to better listen what his Grunkle had to say.

“My original middle name was Filbrick, after my father...”

Dipper cringed. From what Stan had told him and Mabel last summer, great-grandpa Filbrick Pines was anything but great. “That’s...that’s awful.”

“I know, which is precisely why I’m going to change my middle name when Stan and I return to Oregon.”

“Really?” Dipper asked.

The teen imagined that Ford would probably decide to have his new middle name based on one of his idols in the scientific field, like Nikola Tesla or Carl Sagan.

“So I’ve decided to change my middle name to Mason.” Ford announced.

Dipper’s eyes grew wide. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

When Ford heard the silence from the other end, he was afraid that he had reopened an old scar by planning to adopt the boy’s name as part of his own. Ford ushered an explanation. “I know that you’re sensitive over the name, but I wanted to ask for your permission before doing so. If you don’t want me to, I completely understand.”

Dipper remained speechless. His great uncle, the man he looked up to last summer, wanted his middle name to match as his nephew’s true name.

On the other end, Ford began to feel anxious. Perhaps Dipper’s birth name was a sore subject for the boy and was too uncomfortable with his uncle using it as his middle name.

“Dipper? Did I upset you?”

“No, no. Not at all.” Dipper admitted. He let out a joyful laugh as tears of joy ran down his face. “I’m honored...I’m absolutely honored that you would do that Grunkle Ford.”

Ford heard his nephew’s voice cracking with such raw emotion. The researcher wished he could magically teleport to Piedmont so he could give his nephew the biggest hug imaginable.

“I want my middle name to reflect the love I have for this family. To do away with the past and move forward with the people I can trust. And I feel changing my middle name to Mason best reflects that.”

Dipper’s smile grew wider after hearing his great uncle’s explanation. “I’m happy for you Grunkle Ford. Mabel and I will absolutely support your decision.”

Ford smiled. “Thank you my boy.”

Back in the living room, Mabel overheard her brother’s sniffling. She dropped her knitting items and immediately got up to check on Dipper. The teen was about to approach her twin when she noticed that he was still on the phone with Ford. After impatiently waiting for some time, Dipper bid Ford good-bye before ending the call. Mabel carefully walked over towards where Dipper stood as he wiped away his tears.

“Is everything okay bro-bro?” Mabel asked quietly.

“Yeah, everything’s great actually.” Dipper replied with a reassuring smile. “Ford wants to change his middle name to Mason. Mabel, he wants my name to be his middle name!”

Mabel shrieked ecstatically before wrapping her arms around Dipper. The boy laughed joyfully as he accepted his sister’s embrace.

June 1, 2013

Stan stood outside of the Mystery Shack as a beat-up pickup truck rolled down the dirt road. When the vehicle parked outside the tourist trap, all four doors immediately flung open as Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Wendy emerged from the car. The four young people noticed Stan standing by the steps.

Dipper and Mabel ran towards Stan as they tackled the old man into a playful hug. After sharing their first embrace of the summer, Stan and the twins slowly got up from the ground.

“Where’s Grunkle Ford?” Mabel inquired.

“I’m here.”

Dipper and Mabel turned to see Ford stepping outside the Mystery Shack in an almost dramatic flair.

“Allow me to reintroduce myself.” He announced with a soft baritone. “My name is Stanford Mason Pines.”

The twins graciously beamed at their great uncle. Ford sprinted towards Dipper and Mabel, scooped them into his arms and lifted them up in the air. The young twins laughed as they returned the warm embrace.

The love Ford felt for his family had truly changed him for the better.

[warfear]

✩ puli

* groans loudly *

DISAGREEMENTS

WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO RAISE THEIR VOICE? obviously miss poop. juli hasn’t raised his voice in his life… that’s no joke. can really only recall ONE fight he’s ever had with somebody. like, emotionally. he’s always fighting for the laffs.  WHO THREATENS TO LEAVE BUT NEVER ACTUALLY DOES? pippa again. she’d be way too obsessed with the last word, and you know him… never shuts the fuck up. they’d be going back and forth all night. WHO ACTUALLY KEEPS THEIR WORD AND LEAVES? julian. he’s not really a towel thrower but like, when a man has had enough... WHO TRASHES THE HOUSE? pippa would throw a hissy fit and break multiple vases. those were expensive bitch. you better venmo his mommy right now. DO EITHER OF THEM GET PHYSICAL? she might slap him. maybe. does she have the balls? somebody’s got to.  HOW OFTEN DO THEY ARGUE/DISAGREE? every god damn day. over everything. agreeing is for SUCKERS. WHO IS THE FIRST TO APOLOGISE? julian. obviously. he’s doing it right now in our thread that you refuse to reply to.

SEX

WHO IS ON TOP? i don’t think pippa likes to get down and dirty in missionary soooo… ya make a wild guess. WHO IS ON THE BOTTOM? * ladybird vc * who’s on top their first time?! WHO HAS THE STRANGEST DESIRES? pippa. she fucked her babysitter slash principal. that was mad weird. funny how juli knows about that and STILL choose to knock boots. he must be confident in her weekly planned parenthood check - ups.  ANY KINKS? enthusiastic consent on his part. duh. pippa seems to be VERY into pegging. sounds like she fetishizes homosexual men to me. larry much? big yikes. WHO’S MORE DOMINANT IN BED? we like a girl who knows what she wants. no, genuinely… he does. it’s hot. IS HEAD EVER IN THE EQUATION? juli be eating that wap like its a five course meal followed up by a midnight snack. she slobbers on that dick like its a popsicle stick.If so, who is better at performing it? her, definitely. he’s only really fucked a handful of people, and that includes her. let a boy practice, damn. EVER HAD SEX IN PUBLIC? do parties count as public? if no, then they better get to it. Who moans the most? for juli’s sake, i hope pippa. or else we might be dealing with a case of deflation.  WHO LEAVES THE MOST MARKS? pippa seems like she gets into it, so i’ll go with her. Who screams the loudest? i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again...  WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SCREAMING AND MOANING? WHO IS THE MORE EXPERIENCED OF THE TWO? as established, it’s pipperoo.  DO THEY ‘FUCK’ OR ‘MAKE LOVE’? they fuck. plain and simple. maybe when he’s popped that bun in the oven we can get to talking about slowing our roll (no pun intended. just kidding, it was intentional) ROUGH OR SOFT? well, it’s not rough but it’s not soft, either. ya dig? a neat little mixture of both. he’s not a bdsm god, okay. we can’t ALL be randy. but i do wish we could. HOW LONG DO THEY USUALLY LAST? now, i won’t act as if he can go all night in terms of dicking her down… HOWEVER, he don’t give up and if we gotta put our other limbs to use (just fingers, dudes, don’t get any ideas), then so be it. is the tongue a limb? hm. IS PROTECTION USED? with his sperm count? naw. DOES IT EVER GET BORING? probably, they’re depressed.Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? this universe.

FAMILY

DO YOUR MUSES PLAN ON HAVING CHILDREN/OR HAVE CHILDREN? they do not plan on that shit, alright. but if shit hits the fan and a little gremlin starts growing inside the gremlin (let her have some water, did we?), then i guess. just know it wasn’t premeditated.  IF SO, HOW MANY CHILDREN DO YOUR MUSES WANT/HAVE? just the one, thanks. WHO IS THE FAVORITE PARENT? say it’s NOT the apocalypse, then pippa. she would spoil that little brat until it turned into a mini - her. but other than that, juli’s good with kids. THEY LIKE HIM. let me have this. WHO IS THE MORE AUTHORIATIVE PARENT? i feel like juli would be able to handle the everyday stuff of like, “don’t eat glue”. but pippa would be the one snapping, for sure. WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO ALLOW THE CHILDREN TO HAVE A DAY OFF SCHOOL? pippa. juli values education, okay? he’s a little steven crain, why yes he is. WHO LETS THE CHILDREN INDULGE IN SWEETS AND JUNK FOOD WHEN THE OTHER ISN’T AROUND? juli. pippa might be a druggie trainwreck but i don’t see her eating hot cheetos for lunch, nah… that’s juli! WHO TURNS UP TO EXTRA CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES TO SUPPORT THEIR CHILDREN? juli shows up for the everyday. pippa the games / performances. you think she’s gonna miss her chance at being regina george’s mom? no.  WHO GOES TO THE PARENT TEACHER INTERVIEWS? pippa forgets them and that leaves daddy julian apolskis with the hot teachers. thank you, poop. WHO CHANGES THE DIAPERS? julian. no further commentary. WHO GETS UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO FEED THE BABY? see above. somebody’s a LAZY bitch… WHO SPENDS THE MOST TIME WITH THE CHILDREN? i mean, i don’t wanna repeat myself but.  WHO PACKS THEIR LUNCHES? naw, that’s a lunch money kid right there. WHO GIVES THEIR CHILDREN ‘THE TALK’? neither, they’d call juli’s mommy or kitty for that shit.  WHO CLEANS UP AFTER THE KIDS? think pippa would hire a maid, honestly. juli’s not very organised and pippa’s, well… pippa. WHO WORRIES THE MOST? julian, for cheesy. WHO ARE THE CHILDREN MORE LIKELY TO LEARN THEIR FIRST SWEAR WORD FROM? oh, that’s a tie. they’d argue about who done did it… you know, like the potty mouths they are. but it’d end up being kitty.

AFFECTION

WHO LIKES TO CUDDLE? julian loves himself a little cuddle sesh. why, is she not down? boo. WHO IS THE LITTLE SPOON? both, what the fuck. * ariana grande vc * IT’S EQUALITY. WHO GETS NAUGHTY IN THE MOST INAPPROPRIATE PLACES? pippa. like you really wanna be getting down and dirty in the diaper aisle of wholefood? get ya damn hand off his non - existent buttocks.  WHO STRUGGLES TO KEEP THEIR HANDS TO THEMSELF? yeah, see above. HOW LONG CAN THEY CUDDLE UNTIL ONE BECOMES UNCOMFORTABLE? like 3 minutes for her. he can go all night, baby. WHO GIVES THE MOST KISSES? probably juli. HE’S AFFECTIONATE. WHAT IS THEIR FAVOURITE NON-SEXUAL ACTIVITY? bitching with blunts.  WHERE IS THEIR FAVOURITE PLACE TO CUDDLE? uh, a BED?  WHO IS MORE LIKELY TO PLAYFULLY GROPE THE OTHER? did you not read ANYTHING i said? HOW OFTEN DO THEY GET TIME TO THEMSELVES? i feel like they both demand a lot of me - time, and honestly i don’t see them simply existing in quietude next to each other, so… often.

SLEEPING

WHO SNORES? pippa like the wee pug she is. IF BOTH DO, WHO SNORES THE LOUDEST? she do, bitch. DO THEY SHARE A BED OR SLEEP SEPARATELY? who are they, bandy? they don’t live together but i’d ASSUME if they fucked and it went past midnight neither would just dip, that’s dumb. IF THEY SLEEP TOGETHER, DO THEY COZY UP TOGETHER OR LAY FAR APART? we start far, far away and we end up a wee bit cozy. WHO TALKS IN THEIR SLEEP? neither. that’s some tom behaviour. WHAT DO THEY WEAR TO BED? juli’s just a boxers type guy, add a t - shirt for winter. and i’m guessing she has some cutesy pajamas that are like pink… and silk.  ARE EITHER OF YOUR MUSES INSOMNIACS? juli could sleep a year. but he could also stay up a year. it’s a toss - up. i think pippa has a noise machine and a sleep mask, so. CAN SLEEPING PILLS BE FOUND BY THE BEDSIDE? yes. and we pop those for fun. DO THEY WRAP THEIR LIMBS AROUND EACH OTHER OR JUST LAY SIDE BY SIDE? both. although the former is ACCIDENTAL. Who wakes up with bed hair? juli, for sure. have you seen his hair? he ain’t brush that. Who wakes up first? fucking neither. they sleep until noon and THEN SOME. Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? juli can’t cook but if she wants a poptart… baby, he’s your man. What is their favourite sleeping position? probably like… him on his back, arm stretched out for her to use as a pillow and then she sleeps with her back towards him. what, is he not CUTE enough to face? Who hogs the sheets? pippa. greedy as hell. Do they set an alarm each night? neither, lols. Can a television be found in their bedroom? juli has one in his bedroom, but pippa might be too poor to afford that, so. Who has nightmares? i don’t think either do. then again, i don’t edward cullen pippa every night. Who has ridiculous dreams? probably juli. they’d be incoherent and she’d be like “shut up it’s 7 am i do not wanna hear about your homoerotic dreams about harrison ford.” Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? i feel like they are both sprawlers. Who makes the bed? neither, it just be looking like a HOT HOT mess at all times. What time is bed time? sunrise. Any routines/rituals before bed? more bitching with blunts. Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? my guess would be pippa. he’s not in a great mood but he’s also not in a bitchy mood. and she always is.

WORK

Who is the busiest? juli, seeing as he’s the only one with a job. freeloader much @ poopy. Who rakes in the highest income? somehow, despite not being unemployed, not juli. Are any of your muses unemployed? pippa and she’ll stay that way until the day she dies. ain’t got no skills, lady luv, what are you gonna do? onlyfans? yeah, you wish. Who takes the most sick days? pippa. from like, existing. Who is more likely to turn up late to work? juli because he doesn’t have a fucking car. who skates to work? losers, that’s who. Who sucks up to their boss? fucking NEITHER. when have these dumbos ever sucked up to anybody? What are their jobs? juli’s a clerk at the comic book store and pippa’s a professional slut. Who stresses the most? tew many blunts to be stressing, my dude. Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? julian actually likes his job. because comics are his PASSION. one and only aside from punk and being a little meanie. and who cares about pippa’s stance on unemployment? not me. Are your muses financially stable? juli, no. although he lives at home so it’s fine. pippa, yes.

HOME

Who does the washing? juli, reluctantly, after a lot of bitching from a miss espina. Who takes out the trash? he takes her out every friday night. haha, just kidding.jokes, jokes…  but he does take out the trash. Who does the ironing? i think pippa hates wrinkly clothing HOWEVER she would burn holes in that shit and he’d have to do it anyway. Who does the cooking? it’s called take - out, baby. look it up and order me some red curry chicken from your nearest thai food place. Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? pippa, hence… them not doing that. the oven is purely decorative. Who is messier? pippa. somehow. Who leaves the toilet roll empty? also pippa because she does not respect her fellow man (julian) Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? that’s juli, alright. pippa would at least fill the hamper until it overflows. good for her. Who forgets to flush the toilet? NEITHER. get some help. Who is the prankster around the house? juli would probably do something very lighthearted and then she’d take it like eleven notches too far. Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? pippa be throwing those bitches halfway the antarctic, lemme tell you. then again he doesn’t even know how to drive, so… you win some, you lose some. Who mows the lawn? * TRIGGERED * Who answers the telephone? pippa would yell at juli to do it while she’s standing RIGHT THERE and then he’d be like yo, wtf and she’d be like omg my pedicure, though… yup. Who does the vacuuming? juli’s mommy. Who does the groceries? THEY DON’T COOK. Who takes the longest to shower? pippa. juli’s an in - and - out kinda guy. and i respect that more than i respect her for taking 45 minutes every time. Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above.

MISCELLANEOUS

Is money a problem? no, but maybe it should be. then she wouldn’t be such a horrid little cunt, you know? too much? yeah, well… like queen lizzo once said, the truth hurts. How many cars do they own? i wanna say… one.  Do they own their home or do they rent? um, owning a home is a huge commitment (and a baby simply isn’t, just leave it on the curb outside and you’ll be gucci within 30 minutes top) and they’re not committed to the cause. Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? bitch, city. but a city near the coast? ahah, seattle? Do they live in the city or in the country? fucking see above, damn. Do they enjoy their surroundings? sure, why not. sounds cute. What’s their song? wap, obviously. but also everybody talks by neon trees. don’t ask me for 80’s songs, i am brain dead.  What do they do when they’re away from each other? rejoice. Where did they first meet? at a party, probably. How did they first meet? let’s just make it less awk and say through a mutual friend... Who spends the most money when out shopping? how is this even a question… obviously juli spends big bucks on nightwing comics that heavily feature dick’s thick behind. Who’s more likely to flash their assets? pippa should be robbed. Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? both. pippa would just more vocal about it. Any mental issues? * takes long drag of a cigarette * so anyway... Who’s terrified of bugs? pippa cries at the sight of butterflies. did i steal that from some toddler in the chat? yeah. Who kills the spiders around the house? jjuli would let it outside. like idiots who want the spider to come back in do. Their favourite place? probably some shitty make - out spot in the woods where you can smoke weed and bitch. Who pays the bills? juli would insist on paying half even if she could buy him. Do they have any fears for their future? ahah.... hunny… for that you’d have to expect a future. Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? juli. he’s a big softie, alright. Who uses up all of the hot water? well only one of them spends the whole day in the shower, so. Who’s the tallest? JULI, FOR ONCE.  Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? that’s a pippa move if i’ve ever heard one. Who wanders around in their underwear? well, he’s not gonna be putting on any pants unless there’s company. Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? see, juli would jam out to some sick punk rock and she’d turn it off for madonna and then have HER moment but man, did you know he’ll just join? that’s kinda cute * barf * What do they tease each other about? their respective failures. Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? he looks like he got dressed in the dark. Do they have mutual friends? HAAAAAAAAA... Who crushed first? IF that were to ever be a thing, then juli for sure.  Any alcohol or substance related problems? * loud breathing for 16 consecutive minutes * Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? both of them. maybe together.

[xwubzxbubzx]

Have a shitty billford fic and drawing.

There’s something on Ford’s mind and he can't concentrate. NSFW. 1.3k.

Bill floats in front of the chalkboard, chalk in hand and frowning. “Sixer, you alright?”

Ford startles at his words, face leaching of color. “I-I’m fine, Bill. Is there a problem—?” He gestures towards the calculations. He’d spent so much time on them, trying to make sure they were perfect.

“No, No. There’s nothing wrong with your math, IQ! I’m not worried about your head,” Bill swoops towards him and affectionately ruffles his hair, “I’m worried about the rest of you.”

Ford flushes at that. “There’s really nothing wrong.”

Bill laughs. “You don’t need to be embarrassed, Sixer. I’m in your head! I thought we’d moved past this.” He rests on Ford’s shoulder, weighing nothing yet reassuring all the same. “You can tell me.” Bill says, voice oddly soft and coaxing.

“Well – uh. I’ve been a little distracted lately.” Ford hesitates, closing his eyes and breathing slowly, trying to gather all his courage. “I keep – I keep getting these erections.” He opens his eyes, hoping that Bill isn’t disappointed. It’s just he hasn’t had the time or the ability to take care of himself, as it were. The portal has been utmost priority.

Bill doesn’t seem fazed, he seems almost smug. “I figured, you humans with your fickle human needs. It’s not an issue, go find yourself another human and do whatever you need to—” Ford’s nose wrinkles, he’s never been with another person and he’s not sure he ever will, he needs something that stimulates the mind, “—or take care of it yourself. You want some privacy?”

Ford doesn’t know how to say he wants the exact opposite and he’s spent so much time pointedly not thinking about it that it bubbles up to the front of his consciousness, so vivid and bright that he’s sure Bill’s seen it.

Bill, if possible, smiles and adjusts his bowtie. “I’m flattered, Sixer.” Ford tenses, preparing for the inevitable rejection, it’s like high school prom all over again. “You should’ve told me earlier. Let me help.”

Wait, what?

His incomprehension must show because Bill seems to glow brighter with amusement. “Relax, and sit down.” He’s pushed down by some unknown force and lands on a seat. The mindscape shifts around him, twisting from the inside of a nebula to the warm intimacy of his study.

“Bill?”

“Just trying to set the mood.” Bill floats down and settles on his thigh. “Tell me if I do something wrong.” Ford feels his legs pushed a part, feels his zipper go down and his cock pulled out. Bill is still sitting on his thigh, watching him. “Do you want me to touch you?”

There isn’t a language on earth that can capture how much Ford wants to say yes, and he nods, fingers curling around the edge of the chair, white-knuckled with expectation.

Bill’s hand is warm, it feels like static and energy but most of all it feels very, very good. Ford whines, high in his throat and his legs spread wider.

His dick is hard in a matter of seconds, just from Bill’s slow, gentle touches. Bill grips him with both his fingers, almost like he’s examining him. He leans close and Ford can feel the light brush of his eyelashes against the head of his dick, and oh no one has touched him there, apart from himself and he’s never realized how wonderful this could feel.

A pearl of pre-come forms at the slit. Bill looks delighted. “I didn’t know you could do that!” His fingers rub at the head, rubbing the pre-come into his skin and Ford jerks at the stimulation. He’s never felt this good before, and, for some reason, he wants more.

His mouth gets ahead of his brain. “Can I reciprocate?” If possible Ford grows even redder, he wants to take that back. “If I’m not being too presumptuous and that is if your kind even has – oh God, I’m so sorry.”

Bill laughs, looking up at Ford indulgently. “If that’s what you want, go right ahead.”

Ford reaches out towards Bill, cradles him in one hand and runs reverential fingertips over his small triangular body. “How—?”

One of Bill’s dark delicate hands reaches for his middle finger and pushes it downwards, between his legs. “Here.” Ford can feel a seam against his fingers, it pulses against him and he pushes inside tentatively. It’s dark and wet and it doesn’t feel like anything tangible. No, that’s not right. It’s like how fucking into his palm in a dream feels, a layer of sparks between actual skin-to-skin contact, pleasurable in a hazy yet immediate way.

He’s two knuckles deep. “Is this good?”

Bill just sighs, slitted pupil expanding. He spreads his legs wider and a jolt of heat travels down Ford’s belly.

He makes sure not to go too far, he doesn’t know how big Bill is inside. There’s slickness inside Bill and it feels like nothing he’s ever experienced before, it’s frictionless but not oily, smooth and oddly warm. He’s vaguely tempted to study it but, more pressingly, he imagines it around his dick.

He pushes in another finger and Bill clenches around him, the warm darkness tightening like he’s overwhelmed. “That’s good, Sixer. You’ve got nice fingers.”

Ford’s erection bobs against his stomach, smearing wetness over his shirt, untouched and desperate. “Can I put it in?” He withdraws his fingers, hoping to fill Bill with something else.

“It’s too big.” Bill is blushing a soft pink, eyelid heavy, wetness leaking from his hole, that’s still stretched and vulnerable from Ford’s fingers. He licks his fingers, tasting the slickness inside Bill and its sweet and otherworldly and makes him even hotter. Fuck.

“Please. Bill—” He’s so desperate, there’s an ache in his chest. He wants this more than anything. Bill seems to realise this and his gaze softens.

“Okay, Fordsy. How could I say no to that face? Just take it a little slow, big guy.”

Ford nods, feverish and trembling. He’s going to be inside Bill, a being millions of years old and with more power than he can imagine. His muse, his confidante, his most trusted friend. He holds his cock in his hands and places one hand around Bill, lifting him from his thigh until he’s poised over his dick. “You ready?”

Bill gives a shaky yes, trying to look more confident than he seems and, in that moment, Ford feels an overwhelming rush of affection for him. With supremely gentle hands he lowers Bill until the head of his dick is inside him and it’s fucking beautiful. Bill’s legs barely graze his thighs and the wetness inside him is sublime and sparks something deep in Ford’s chest.

Bill is moaning too, eye closed and top hat askew. It’s rather charming. Slick leaks out his hole and covers the rest of his erection. He’s probably not going any deeper but this is enough, for both of them.

He keeps the pace slow, thrusting with shallow jerks of his hips. He’s barely inside Bill and even then, he’s not going to last long. “Do you need me to do anything, Bill?”

“No, just k-keep — ah — doing what you’re doing.” Bill’s voice is high, and he squirms on the head of his erection, flickering brighter and brighter shades of yellow like he’s on fire. It’s so hot inside him and the intangible tightness is getting more and more corporeal, tight and vicelike and undeniably inhuman. It pulses around Ford and he comes, just from the sudden change in sensation. It’s like a punch in the gut, it’s like solving a problem, it’s good.

Bill’s legs are pressing shut, and he’s riding himself on Ford’s softening, over-sensitized dick and it hurts but Ford can bear it because Bill is close. The soft squelching sounds of his come mingling with Bill’s slickness cause a half-hearted twitch to go through his cock and Bill gasps, and Ford knows he’s coming as well.

Bill falls on Ford’s thigh, impossibly small and slowly dimming, his arms are spread, his hole leaking and he’s panting. Ford doesn’t think he’s ever seen Bill looks so undone, so vulnerable and he feels privileged to be able to witness this. He’s going to work even harder now, he’s going to build that portal and really meet Bill.

Also i lowkey like the black and white version…. on ao3 btw

[linguooapp]

7 Things You Need to Stop Doing to Be More Productive, Backed by Science

When I was 17 years old, I used to work and study for about 20 hours a day. I went to school, did my homework during breaks and managed a not-for-profit organization at night. At that time, working hard landed me countless national campaigns, opportunities to work with A-list organizations and a successful career. As I got older, I started thinking differently. I realized that working harder is not always the right path to success. Sometimes, working less can actually produce better results.

Consider a small business owner, who works non-stop. However, working hard won’t help him compete with his multi-million competitors. Time is a limited commodity. An entrepreneur can work 24 hours a day and 7 days a week (the most amount of time anyone can work, really). His or her competitor can always spend more money, build a bigger team and spend a lot more time on the same project. Then why have small startups accomplished things that larger corporations couldn’t? Facebook bought Instagram, a 13-employee company for a billion dollars. Snapchat, a young startup with 30 employees is turning down offers from tech giants Facebook and Google. Part of their successes were based on luck — the rest is based on efficiency.

The key to success is not hard working but smart working.

There’s a notable distinction between being busy and being productive. Being busy doesn’t necessarily mean you’re being productive. Being productive is less about time management and more on managing your energy. It is the business of life. We need to learn how to spend the least amount of energy to get the most benefits. I am so lucky to work with an amazing team here at Filemobile. Everyone always challenges me and helps me sort my priorities to become more productive. I learned to reduce my work week from 80 hours to 40 hours, and get a lot more work done in the process. In other words, less is more.

Here are 7 I things I stopped doing to become more productive.

1. Stop working overtime and increase your productivity

Have you ever wondered where the 40-hour work week came from? In 1926, Henry Ford, American industrialist and founder of Ford Motor Company, conducted experiments with interesting results: when you decrease your daily working hours from 10 to 8, and shorten the work week from 6 days to 5, your productivity increases.

Source: Calculating Loss of Productivity Due to Overtime Using Published Charts — Fact or Fiction

The more you work, the less effective and productive you are going to become over both short and long term. “Scheduled Overtime Effect on Construction Projects”, a report issued by The Business Roundtable in 1980 states.

“Where a work schedule of 60 or more hours per week is continued longer than about two months, the cumulative effect of decreased productivity will cause a delay in the completion date beyond that which could have been realized with the same crew size on a 40-hour week.”

Source: Calculating Loss of Productivity Due to Overtime Using Published Charts — Fact or Fiction

In an article for AlterNet, editor Sara Robinson referenced research conducted by the US military that revealed that “losing one hour of sleep per night for a week will cause a level of cognitive degradation equivalent to a .10 blood alcohol level.” You can get fired for coming to work drunk, but it is deemed acceptable to pull an all-nighter.

Irrespective of how well you were able to get on with your day after that most recent night without sleep, it is unlikely that you felt especially upbeat and joyous about the world. Your more-negative-than-usual perspective will have resulted from a generalized low mood, which is a normal consequence of being overtired. More important than just the mood, this mind-set is often accompanied by decreases in willingness to think and act proactively, control impulses, feel positive about yourself, empathize with others, and generally use emotional intelligence.

Source: The Secret World of Sleep: The Surprising Science of the Mind at Rest

It’s important for us not to overwork ourselves and get enough sleep to maintain a high level of productivity. Next time you’re wondering why you may not be working productively, the reason may be simple as you being one of 70% of people who doesn’t get enough sleep.

Did you know?

Leonardo da Vinci took multiple naps a day and slept less at night.

The French Emperor Napoleon was not shy about taking naps. He indulged daily.

Though Thomas Edison was embarrassed about his napping habit, he also practiced his ritual daily.

Eleanor Roosevelt, the wife of President Franklin D. Roosevelt, used to boost her energy by napping before speaking engagements.

Gene Autry, “the Singing Cowboy,” routinely took naps in his dressing room between performances.

President John F. Kennedy ate his lunch in bed and then settled in for a nap—every day!

Oil industrialist and philanthropist John D. Rockefeller napped every afternoon in his office.

Winston Churchill’s afternoon nap was a non-negotiable. He believed it helped him get twice as much done each day.

President Lyndon B. Johnson took a nap every afternoon at 3:30 p.m. in order to break his day up into “two shifts.”

Though criticized for it, President Ronald Reagan famously took naps as well.

Source: 5 Reasons Why You Should Take a Nap Every Day — Michael Hyatt

On a personal note, since I started getting at least 7 to 8 hours of sleep a day, I’ve noticed a change: I became a lot more productive and got a lot more work done than when I worked 16 hours a day. Who knew sleeping was such a great tool for marketers?

2. Don’t say “yes” too often

According to the Pareto Principle, 20% of the effort produces 80% of the results; however, 20% of the results consumes 80% of the effort. Instead of working harder, we should focus primarily on those efforts that produce 80% of the results and forgo the rest. We will have more time to focus on the most important tasks. We should stop saying “yes” to tasks that bring low or almost no result.

“The difference between successful people and very successful people is that very successful people say “no” to almost everything.” — Warren Buffet.

This begs a question: what should you say “yes” and what should you say “no” to? If you can’t figure if something is going to be worth your time, consider running a simple split test. Track everything you do and optimize if it is possible.

Most of us say yes more often than we should because it is so much easier than saying no. Nobody wants to be the bad guy.

In a 2012 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research, researchers split 120 students in 2 groups. One group was trained to use “I can’t”, while the other was trained to use “I don’t”. The results were interesting:

The students who told themselves “I can’t eat X” chose to eat the chocolate candy bar 61% of the time. Meanwhile, the students who told themselves “I don’t eat X” chose to eat the chocolate candy bars only 36% of the time. This simple change in terminology significantly improved the odds that each person would make a more healthy food choice.

Next time you need to avoid saying yes, say “I don’t”.

Another great trick to avoid activities that don’t add enough value into your life is the 20-second rule: give yourself 20 seconds longer for activities you shouldn’t be doing.

Lower the activation energy for habits you want to adopt and raise it for habits you want to avoid. The more we can lower or even eliminate the activation energy for our desired actions, the more we enhance our ability to jump-start positive change.

Source: The Happiness Advantage: The Seven Principles of Positive Psychology That Fuel Success and Performance at Work

3. Stop doing everything yourself and start letting people help you

At some point in my career, I was managing a very large community and couldn’t handle it. I tried to do everything myself. I burnt out, but the community ended up taking over and managing itself. Surprisingly, members did a better job than I have ever done. I learned the power of community and why brands need user-generated content.

Consumers understand what they want and how they want it better than any marketer. Did you know that, according to Octoly, user-generated videos are viewed 10 times more than brand-generated videos on YouTube? When seeking information about a particular brand,over half (51%) of Americans trust user-generated content more than the content on the brand website (16%) or media coverage on the brand (14%). It’s important for marketers to open up and seek help from the brand’s community.

Source: Earned Media Rankings on YouTube — Octoly

Being a great content marketer is not about creating the best content, but building a great community that will generate high-quality content for you.

It’s important for us to realize we can seek help when needed. We cannot do everything ourselves. It is better for you to let someone who can do a better job taking over some of your tasks. It will give you more time to focus on your most important tasks. Instead of wasting your time trying to figure something out yourself, let the experts help you.

A lot of time, even if your friends can’t help you, having them around can help you become more productive.

4. Stop being a perfectionist

“We found that perfectionism trips up professors on the way to research productivity. The more perfectionistic the professor, the less productive they are,” Dr. Simon Sherry, a Dalhousie University Psychology Professor who conducted a study on perfectionism and productivity, tells University Affairs magazine. Dr. Sherry found a robust correlation between increased perfectionism and decreased productivity.

Here are some problems associated with being a perfectionist:

They spend more time than required on a task.

They procrastinate and wait for the perfect moment. In business, if it is the perfect moment, you are too late.

They miss the big picture while being too focused on small things.

Marketers often wait for the perfect moment. In doing so, they end up missing it.

The perfect moment is NOW.

5. Stop doing repetitive tasks and start automating it.

According to a research study conducted by Tethys Solutions, A team of 5 people who spent 3%, 20%, 25%, 30% and 70% of their time on repetitive tasks respectively reduced this time to 3%, 10%, 15%, 15% and 10% after 2 months of enhancing their productivity.

Source: Using Automation Software To Increase Business Productivity & Competitiveness -Tethys Solutions

A week ago, I spent 15 minutes writing a basic Python program. The idea was to generate content from the data, which I pulled from Twitter API using a Ruby bot, and use Hootsuite to bulk schedule them. While it used to take me an entire day to accomplish, it now takes me less than 5 minutes. Nowadays, whenever I do something repetitively (more than 5 times), I would ask myself if I can find a program to do it for me.

You don’t have to be a coder to able to automate your repetitive tasks. It’s nice to have the skills or the resources, but it’s not a requirement. If you cannot build it, buy it.

People often forget that time is money. People usually do things manually because it’s easy and requires almost no research. It is manageable to moderate 30 images on Instagram for your user-generated campaign. But if you have to manage 30 000 photos and videos from 5 different platforms, you need a good digital asset management software. At Filemobile, we help people to solve that problem generate even more user-generated content. Just like managing rich media, you can easily purchase a software to solve almost all of your problem on the internet.

If you still can’t find a solution, you can hire an expert to help you. Keep in mind that you need to spend money to make money and that time is your most valuable commodity.

Tips for marketers: check out GitHub or Google app script library. Often times, you’ll find free ready-to-use open source code that requires very little programming knowledge.

6. Stop guessing and start backing up your decisions with data

If you can optimize websites for search engines, you can optimize your lives to grow and reach your maximum potential.

There are so many research studies out there that can provide answers in a range of areas. For instance, did you know that most people are more easily distracted from noon to 4PM? This random statistic comes from recent research led by Robert Matchock, an associate professor of psychology at Pennsylvania State University. Even if you can’t find the data you need, it doesn’t take a lot of time to run a split test.

For instance, last week we did a few tests to figure out the best way to optimize images for Twitter in-stream preview.

Keep asking yourself how you’re going to measure and optimize everything you do.

7. Stop working, and have do-nothing time

Most people don’t realize that we’re essentially locking ourselves in a box when we are too focused on something. It’s important to walk away from our work once in a while and have some alone time. Alone time is good for the brain and spirit, according to The power of lonely , an article in The Boston Globe.

It‘s important for us to take time for reflection. We often find the solutions when we’re not searching for them.

We don’t become more productive overnight. Like everything in life, it requires efforts. Change doesn’t happen if you just sit there and wait for it. It’s important for all of us to learn more about our body and find ways to optimize our energy for a more successful and happy life.

Source: medium.com

The post 7 Things You Need to Stop Doing to Be More Productive, Backed by Science appeared first on Linguoo.

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