#also acab!!! fuck prisons!!! cait isn't a cop here no way!!!! lol

[possibilistfanfiction]

for the caitvi prompts: university

been really enjoying the light heartedness lol

[a little backstory! v cute! we love them! fits in this little au here & here, also now up on ao3 if that's a better place to stay organized w them lol]

//

it’s your favorite kind of day outside, gloomy and rainy without being freezing cold. cait holds your hand without asking today, which makes you smile into her shoulder and you kind of hate it, the butterflies that you’d assumed you were too old and too fucked up for, but you’re also, just, thankful. you’d climbed together this morning at the gym closest to your apartment, which is a little smaller and older than the one closer to cait’s, but she always compliments the route setting and is friendly with the staff, enjoying your friends’ happy teasing that of course you’re on a date climbing, vi. she loves it just as much as you do, so the embarrassment, at least in that way, has faded.

but still, you had showered back at your apartment together, changed, and are walking, even with her pouting about how the drizzle will make her hair frizzy, around the old buildings of the university campus nearby, wandering until it’s time to meet jinx, jayce, and viktor for lunch. it’s a date-date, it occurs to you, your third official one, even though it’s just barely noon and cait is in a simple turtleneck, a practical raincoat, and pair of jeans, rather than anything fancy: you’re getting to know her, to learn her, to listen and encourage and laugh and, quite literally, catch her when she falls.

you acquiesce to her pouting eventually — jinx teases you all the time for it, but her eyes are so blue and she’s so pretty — so you duck into jinx’s favorite coffee shop and get her a warm, honey and mint tea for the rest of your stroll. she smiles into the steam, then up at you, and it’s really, terrifyingly easy to kiss her while you hope, a little tug in your chest, that the days continue on and on like this.

‘did you study at university?’ she asks, sipping her tea once it’s cooled down. she says it conversationally, like she genuinely wants to know, but still, you scoff.

‘what makes you think someone like me went to school?’

‘well,’ she says, never one to back down, ‘your sister attends university, and also you’re quite smart.’

jinx and vander and your therapist are always on you about accepting compliments, leaning into the way people see you now: kind, competent, responsible, intelligent. you try to let this one sink in, to trust that caitlyn will still see you as those things after you tell her. you tug her to a bench under a pretty awning covered in ivy. ‘thank you.’

she hums.

‘i — i got my GED when i was incarcerated,’ you say, the simplest way to go about it. if things go bad, at least jinx is close by and would probably be more than happy to ditch her class; you could make an escape.

‘oh,’ caitlyn says and is quiet for one of the most frightening moments of your life; her face is calm and doesn’t give anything away. ‘i hate prisons,’ she says, finally, which abruptly makes you laugh, one hard bark of a thing. she squeezes your hand and smiles. ‘i am glad they offered that program for you, at least.’

‘i — whew,’ is all you can really say, breathing into the bottom of your spine like you help jinx practice when she’s feeling really overwhelmed. your eyes prick with tears and you duck to wipe them away. caitlyn allows you this, but when you get it together a little bit and lift your chin, she’s looking at you with curiosity and very distinct admiration, not pity or disgust, and you might start crying all over again. ‘i — sorry i waited to tell you, or whatever.’

‘there’s no need to apologize,’ she says, then frowns. ‘but did i do anything to make you think that might be a problem for me?’

you sigh and then gesture to the gorgeous, huge building across the courtyard. ‘your last name is on the library right there.’

‘ah.’

‘yeah.’

‘well, i am much more than my last name,’ she says, puffing out her chest a little in defiance, and very clearly you think i love you. it’s not the time, but you’ll remember it as the years go on. ‘and even with it, my mother has advocated for years for policy and programs to shorten or eliminate prison sentences, and social supports to decrease recidivism rates.’ you know this, objectively, but caitlyn’s mom might be the scariest person you’ve ever had to even think about meeting. ‘which i don’t think is nearly enough, by the way.’

she stops herself from going on a longer rant, turning to face you fully with a smile, a cold hand coming to brush the scar on your lip and hold your jaw in its palm.

‘i know you, violet.’ as simple as that. ‘would you like to tell me more about any of it?’

you don’t, not really, because you never talk about it if you don’t have to, but some of the things you experienced, things you were forced to experience, still color the worst of your days. so you tell her some of it, at least: how you were only seventeen but sentenced to an adult prison, with an agonizingly long six years of an adult sentence, for theft and assault felonies, some of which didn’t even happen. you tell her about how you had to ration food — she hums in some kind of present understanding; it dawns on you that she’s probably noticed you’re always hungry, that it feels an impossible feat to eat seconds, even if there’s plenty — and about how you were in a lot of fights. sometimes it was because you had to, to protect yourself, and sometimes it was just because you were angry, because you got the shit beat out of you constantly, because you spent at least half your time in solitary, because a scar through your brow or the needles and ink pressed into your skin was better than the horrible, terrifying nothingness. you got so, so strong because it wasn’t safe, physically or in your own mind, to be anything otherwise.

‘my sister is the only thing that kept me going, sometimes.’

cait sniffles, wipes her nose with a shy smile, a little embarrassed to be crying at your story, but you love her all the more for her empathy. ‘it’s clear to everyone how much you care for her.’

‘when i got out, she was — well, the details are hers to share,’ you say, not wanting to overstep. ‘she has some pretty severe mental health stuff, and it was bad. my dad pulled some strings and got me into the fire academy, though, and i was able to get a place for us to stay together and get her some real help.’

‘it seems, at least to me, like you’ve worked incredibly hard to build the two of you a really beautiful life, vi.’ when you nod, she leans forward to kiss you, softly and tenderly, a reassurance, an offering, a balm. ‘i’m quite lucky to be included in it.’

‘we’re lucky to have you.’ your voice is thick with tears but it’s worth saying anyway. ‘even if jinx is a brat about it sometimes.’

caitlyn laughs, unfazed.

‘that’s just her countenance,’ you say. ‘i’m glad you’re smart enough to not take it personal.’

‘i’m brilliant,’ she agrees, ‘even for a kiramman.’

you roll your eyes, groan appropriately. ‘hey,’ you say, squeezing her hand before you stand, your lunch time looming. ‘thank you.’

‘you must know by now, violet, that i am quite fond of you.’

‘i — yeah, i do. still, sometimes this — it changes things for people.’

she nods, assenting easily. ‘it only makes me care for you, and admire you, more, if anything.’

‘jinx is never going to let me hear the end of it if i’m actively crying when we walk in there, cupcake.’

caitlyn just laughs and pulls you in for another kiss. it’s raining harder now — you’ll have to dash through it — but the awning protects you for now, and there’s some kind of home in the warmth of her mouth.