#also 1984 is an inspiration in some aspects but that's a more general thg thing

[caesarflickermans]

what was your inspiration for Virgilia Snow??

I drafted this in a document without realising how long this got (despite thinking I only verged on the broad elements, huh) and therefore this is an under the cut type of ask.

I've always had this idea of a Mrs. Snow who would sleep with others and in the beginning stages of me developing her, I imagined her having her best life ™ sleeping with anyone who wasn't her husband. Chosen people, of course, but still a quiet dissatisfaction with the marriage she is in. That idea was lingering there for quite some years, actually.

But in spring 2020 some pretty bad things happened to me personally within my family, accumulation of long ongoing conflicts (emotional abuse) that kind of resurfaced the idea of her. The thing with abuse is that quite so often it's this sexual or violent abuse, but so rarely is it ever something subtle. Abuse is perceived as flinching at loud sounds or not liking knives around. But there's such a lack of representation in media and recognition in broad society about other forms of abuse; those that leave you questioning yourself, those that make you feel tiny. For example, in the recent chapter I included some notions of intercourse, and it's the same thing that I feel is sometimes lacking in abuse stories (luckily it didn't happen to me), but Virgilia in a way feeling fine with that happening because it's her duty, and Snow not really out there to physically hurt her is something that I don't see a lot in the media or represented in that way. Of course, it is still non-consensual sex, but it's not something she realises is wrong in this specific situation. The mansion is a sort of bubble, here, that keeps hold of her and at the same time keeps realisations about the bad nature of this relationship away. It's a curse and a "blessing" at the same time; a blessing insofar that the realisation will only come once removed from this place.

And then, I decidedly wanted her to be a romantic, to have read romance books, to be soft, and to be interested in romance still. That she is not incapable of love ever again. That a bad upbringing teaching one all the wrong things about love and the discrepancy of the imagined and glorified romantic interests in novels she read and her husband can co-exist but do not doom her. Obviously, this story is fairly romantic and obviously her interactions with Plutarch are the starting event of changing and realising. I realise that can be a point of critique here. Yet, this story is only small in scope, and I don't want to bring about too many original characters that distract from the actual plot to lessen this potential criticism (chapter 4, for example, had me reworking it a lot because I had originally wanted more context with some of the women there). I also know that this is a fanfiction and people don't necessarily stop by for original characters, so I try to keep those chapters where there's little of Plutarch at a minimum. Still, the presence of Grace is meant to represent female kinship that obviously occurs much more frequently and with more people in Virgilia's life who do not receive that much of a mention.

In addition, I didn't want a story of her having been abused and deciding she will become this fierce woman not needing love or become a fierce lesbian finding love away from men. Both because those stories are told a lot (in fandom) and because I like the idea of ending one's past and finding joy and happiness somewhat despite and regardless of what happened. To me, there's strength in her (subconsciously) deciding that those terrible experiences don't define her ideals in what she wants. That Virgilia doesn't have to change who she is or what she believed in because of what happened to her; that the romantic interest from her novels still exists (albeit she will learn that perfect love interests don't exist). [And this is not a declaration for the heterosexual or something; I am a bisexual woman dating another woman right now. In the end, Virgilia growing up as a trophy wife to marry a man had made sense, and I wanted her to personally want that, too, but at the same time I wanted her to rise above that and, through her romantic interests, show that abuse doesn't mean one has to do a 180 in all and everything that was tainted in abuse. That one's character and interests aren't suddenly bad because of what happened; that what happened is and never will be her fault]

In that sense, once she really sprung into motion, her romance with Plutarch seemed almost inevitable. Snow is tall and thin. He's got too many edges; bones sticking out from underneath his skin. A gaunt old man with wrinkles and white hair. Plutarch is the opposite, something she will yet come to realise about him (mentally I have been writing their first sex scene for a while, thinking about how I want her to feel and experience Plutarch who is her age, height and whose (over)weight plays a large contrasting role to Snow). In that sense, I also want to write a story that neither sexualises nor glosses over overweight men. That his weight isn't something she is "kinky" about but also that isn't absent in her liking of him or her interacting physically with him. Hugging him (or more) doesn��t suddenly render him a thin or muscular man. He feels different, the writing represents that, and she neither is repulsed or kink’ed up by it, but that he feels nice the way he is.

Many things converged in spring 2020, and among those was also me watching the Han/ maids Tal.e. I don't want to bring too much comparison about because I don't want to take away from the quality of Virgilia as a standalone character, but the book-reading (i.e. THT not allowing women to read), the trophy wife ideals and the fact Virgilia was never pregnant but raised someone else's children (though she also does not want children, ever, and she is convinced she would make a terrible mother) are definitely elements present in the show/book that aided in fleshing her out. I also picked Yvonne Strahovski as my sort of mental image of Virgilia, because I wanted her to be this typical trophy wife that Yvonne somewhat represents in the show (sorry if that sort of ruins your idea of what Virgilia looks like. rip!)