#allo people r making up crushes I believe

[aroambergris]

The Fabled A-spec Post I Keep Saying I’ll Make

Since I’m p aro on sideblog + community terms are unknown to people outside the community (as well as those inside the community due to the wipeout exclusionism on the website circa 2016-onward) so I figured I’d make a quick post to let people know abt some of the things I’ll be referring to!

Terms

Allo: someone who is not a-spec; used in front of -romantic or -sexual (ex. alloromantic) or used as a descriptor (ex. I cannot believe everyone else here is allo)

A-spec / Aro-spec / Ace-spec: abbreviation for the spectrum; A-spec as an abbreviation for the entire spectrum, aro-spec as an abbreviation for the aro spectrum, and ace-spec as an abbreviation for the ace spectrum

-> a note: can be written as a-spec or aspec, but due to screen readers/ what I’ve seen dyslexic a-spec people discuss, I use a-spec. I am not dyslexic nor use a screen reader, so I cannot comment on this, and feel free to correct me if I’m wrong

Qpr/ qpp: queerplatonic relationship/ quasiplatonic relatonship; queerplatonic partner/ quasiplatonic partner. Qprs do not have a strict set of rules, and as such are hard to describe. They are not romantic nor sexual inherently, though one could be. A qpr can be committed, married, and non-romantic/ non-sexual; they can look like a romantic relationship; they can include sex and sexual elements; they can appear casual; they can be monogamous or polyamorous; they can occur at the same time as a romantic relationship. They’re very moldable. They are a relationship that, as it comes from the aro community, is not inherently romantic, but goes above and beyond traditional societal norms for friendship (though, friends can do everything a qpr does and not be in a relationship labeled as other than friends). To get a better understanding of qprs, I’d suggest looking into community resources and finding other posts a-spec blogs have made about them. AUREA, or aromantism.org, defines them as “A committed non-romantic relationship that goes beyond what is the subjective cultural norm for a friendship. Levels of intimacy and/or behaviors between the partners involved often don’t fit the conventional standards set by society. Some QPRs can include sex and elements that are generally considered romantic. In practice every queerplatonic relationship is different. Abbreviated to QPR, and queerplatonic (quasiplatonic) partner to QPP.”

Squish: a catch-all term for non-romantic and non-sexual attraction; commonly mistaken for a crush

-> a note: there are many other words for different types of attraction (plush for queerplatonic attraction, swish for aesthetic attraction, etc) but squish is a catch-all and used most often

Peach Fuzz: a qpr that pretends to be romantic/ dating for any reason

Zucchini: an old term that became uncommon after exclusionism became widespread; another way to refer to your partner in a QPR (ex. This is my zucchini!)

Amatonormitivity: The assumption that everyone is looking for a long-term romantic relationship; the assumption that romance, marriage, ‘partnering off’, etc, is the only path someone would want to follow in their life

Queerplatonic / quasiplatonic: an attraction that is ‘non traditional’ and not romantic or sexual. A hard to define attraction that is different than platonic attraction but not romantic or sexual

Aplatonic: Someone who does not experience platonic attraction; also a spectrum called the aplspectrum; can be used as an identifier (ex. demiplatonic, greyplatonic, etc)

SAM: the split attraction model, which serves to split types of attraction (ex. aroromantic and bisexual as two different terms used at the same time)

Non-SAM aro, ace, etc: commonly used as Non-SAM aro. People who don’t use the split attraction model (ex. only identifying as aro/ terms related to aro and not ace/ allosexual)

Oriented aroace: a term for people who are aroace who experience another type of attraction larger enough to label it (ex. Lesbian aroace, pan aroace, etc)

Angled aroace: a term for people who are on the a-spectrum (grey, demi, akoi, etc) and who experience a type of attraction that is not romantic or sexual, and feels significant enough for them to label it (ex. see above, angled omni aroace, angled gay aroace, etc)

Relationship anarchy: the belief that no relationship is better than another; instead of a pyramid of relationships, they’re all equal. Not specific to the community, but often discussed

Romance/ sex repulsed/ averse: someone who does not want romance/ sexual relationships/ actions taken towards them. This can go from feeling uncomfortable to getting triggered by these actions. One can be romance repulsed and not sex repulsed, or sex repulsed and not romance repulsed, or both

R/s indifferent: someone who does not care one way or the other about romance and/or sexual actions taken towards them. One might be unwilling to do romantic/sexual actions because they don’t care, or, on the other end of the spectrum, might do them anyway even though they do not feel any real want to. On a spectrum and can apply in any combination, like r/s repulsed.

R/s favorable: someone who likes romantic/ sexual actions and wants to do them. Again, on a spectrum, and in any combination, like the two above. They might seek out romantic/ sexual interactions, enjoy them, and want a romantic/ sexual relationship, despite not feeling romantic/ sexual attraction

-> a note: be careful! Sex negative and sex positive are used to refer to whether you support those who are sexual or not (ie. sex workers, those who are in sexual relationships, etc) instead of whether you specifically feel repulsed/ favorable. Don’t mix the terms up, as they mean two different things

Voidpunk: a section of punk morals/ aesthetic not unique to the aro community but coined in it. The practice of rejecting ones humanity and reclaiming their inhumanity, specifically only to be used by groups that people use inhuman against; a way to cope with dehumanization from oppressors. Not specific to the aro community (also used by poc, neurodivergent people, etc, and the intersection of multiple identities that are called ‘inhuman’) but popular inside it

Soft Romo: a term used for anyone but most often on the aro-spectrum; for people who like to perform stereotypical ‘romantic’ gestures such as dating, etc. without wanting the high-energy kissing, holding hands, etc. A ‘low-level romantic relationship’, where performing high-level romance is not preferred or just not possible due to different aspects.

-> let me know if there’s anything you would like me to add/ explain!

Symbols

[ID: an image of two hands, palm up. The right hand is on the left, and the left hand is on the right. They are resting on a dark grey blanket, and there is a light blue rug behind them. On the middle finger of the right hand there is a black ring. On the middle finger of the left hand there is a white, almost transparent, ring. End ID]

Black ring: a symbol of the ace-spec community. Worn on the right hand, middle finger. A way of identification/ pride in public w/o displaying flags

White ring: a symbol of the aro-spec community. Worn on the left hand, middle finger. A way of identification/ pride in public w/o displaying flags

Cake: a symbol commonly used in the ace community, either as a joke (ex. This cake is better than sex!/ Cake will always be better than sex) or as a symbol

Arrow: a symbol commonly used in the aro community, drawing on the way the words ‘arrow’ and ‘aro’ sound the same. Similar themes (archers, bow and arrow, etc) can also be used

Ace card symbol: the ace of a card deck, commonly used as a symbol in the ace community. While the card usage isn’t often discussed, I’ve found sources discussing each meaning; Ace of hearts-> alloace; Ace of spades-> aroace; Ace of diamonds-> the ace spectrum Ace of clubs-> questioning. Draws on ‘ace’ and ‘ace’ word play; also used in jokes (ex. I have an ace up my sleeve/ Aced it!)

Yellow roses: a symbol commonly used in the aro community. Symbolizes friendship, using the symbolism in the yellow rose

Purple/ Green: the colors in the ace / aro flags, respectively

Yellow: the ‘color of friendship’. Commonly connected to yellow roses.

-> a note: there are many more symbols in each community; space ace, frogs for aros, griffins, dragons, etc. I’d suggest looking up symbols and finding some more yourself! These are just some common ones I have seen frequently

That’s all I can think of right now, but if anyone would like me to add on things / explain more my ask box is always open and I am always willing to edit. People in the a-spec community, please feel free to comment/ correct things/ add on things you feel like I’ve missed! While I did not do a list of identities, I did not want to leave out identities that are lesser known/ made fun of. Again, my ask box is open. I linked AUREA (linked to the FAQ) above earlier (linked to the home page), which is a great site for the aro community if anyone would like to know more.

[thatwheezingsoundthetardismakes]

92 TRUTHS

I GOT TAGGED BY: the wonderful @alyaraneyite

🌙 LAST

Drink: water, probably. Reminds me of the fact I’m thirsty. Back in a sec! Phone call: (sipping orange juice now) my workplace to confirm I’d change my schedule to fill in for a sick colleague Song you listened to: Smile - David Gilmour Time you cried: When realising I’d lost my dream job for good

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: no Kissed someone and regretted it: eh Been depressed: not officially Been drunk and thrown up: no

🌙 IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: yes Fallen out of love: no Met someone who changed you: everyone changes you, m’dear Found out who your true friends are: I more specifically found out who weren’t my true friends Found out someone was talking about you: see above

🌙 GENERAL

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: it’s growing lately. Six active ones, I think Do you have any pets?: yes! Three dogs, a cat and some chickens Do you want to change your name?: nope What time did you wake up this morning: 7am. And I don’t have work today. But they are breaking down a house next to us so yeah. What were you doing last night: Watching tv with my dad Something you cannot wait for: the start of the new F1 season (and also FACTS, but I didn’t want to steal @alyaraneyite‘s answer Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: yes and he’s a backstabber so fuck him What’s getting on your nerves right now: Not finding a better job Blood type: I have no idea honestly Nickname: Oh boy. Here we go. Fred, Fre, Freddie (all plays on my name), and then there’s Filiberke and Kulderzipke. Don’t ask why. Relationship status: happy Zodiac sign: capricorn Pronouns: he/him Favourite show: Doctor Who, De Ideale Wereld, Friends, Black Mirror, ‘Allo ‘Allo, Top Gear/The Grand Tour College: University College of Ghent (”HoGent”) Hair colour: dark brown Do you have a crush on someone: of course What do you like about yourself: that I try my best.

🌙 FIRSTS

First surgery: never had any! First piercing: none First sport you joined: again, none First vacation: the first I can remember was probably the Austrian Alps First pair of sneakers: who even remembers this?

🌙 RIGHT NOW

Eating: nothing I’m about to: answer the next question Listening to: Rapper’s Delight - Sugarhill Gang  Want kids: You know that gif of the Office? Steve Carell saying “No”? Insert here. Get married: I don’t kow yet. Career: I wish

🌙 WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: eyes Hugs or kisses: Both? Both. Shorter or taller: shorter Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant Older or younger: I don’t care actually Romantic or spontaneous: both Sensitive or loud: sensitive Hookup or relationship: relationship

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: kinda Drank hard liquor: Nope Lost contacts/glasses: no Sex on first date: Never dated actually, so no Broken someone’s heart: Unfortunately Been arrested: no Turned someone down: yes

🌙 DO YOU BELIEVE

In yourself: I really try to Miracles: Not really. Make your own miracles. Love at first sight: I believe in attraction that can lead to love at first sight

I TAG: @satturnae, @lordmeowdemort, @milonelyangel, @why-should-i-make-a-username, @haszea, @thesupremeleaderofchaos, @sniffsbooks