#all the while being absolutely blinded by the flash of disposable camera from the bleachers across from me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

arctic-hands · 2 years

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You ever just start remembering the injustices forced upon you when you were too young to fight them and just get angry all over again?

Like I wonder how strong my back would be instead of a shitty weak thing that has thrown itself twice just by walking around my house and has thrown for other reasons too, if I hadn't been yanked out of belly dancing as a kid just because my mom had to stop attending her dance classes after back surgery. Like literally that was the only explanation given. She couldn't do it anymore so neither could I. Now I'm too disabled to ever dance any kind again

#that's not true i can gently Macarena if I'm careful #but still wtf #that was literally the only activity i was allowed to do as a kid #i was kicked out of 4H for being too sick and missing too many meetings #and because my parents were worried about that happening again i wasn't allowed to be a girl scout #i missed too many classes and my grades were only so-so so i wasn't allowed to join any school clubs #i got kicked out of band for being too tired and sick to make it to the before school classes #and i got kicked out right before the King's Island concert/trip THE DAY AFTER i handed in my non refundable seventy-five dollar trip fee #and now my lungs are too shite to ever play the clarinet again too while we're at it #i should have known no one was taking my dancing and the fun i was having seriously #like for real i was enduring the sensory hell that was putting on tights just so i could dance #the end was nigh when i was forced to attend my first (and it turns out only) dance recital because of my brothers hs graduation #i begged my parents to just drop me off at the studio and then pick me up after our respective functions were over #but i was told family was more important than dancing #so instead of dancing my heart out i was forced to sit still for three hours waiting for a single name to be called #all the while being absolutely blinded by the flash of disposable camera from the bleachers across from me #so i got a migraine that night #if family is so important why do my brother and i despise each other #anyway i was yanked out of belly dance class a few months later so i never got dance in front of an audience #the band thing happened a few years later and after that i either wasn't allowed to join anything by my parents #or figured myself that I'd just be kicked out of whatever i wanted to do and never tried up join anything again #why yes i lost my social skills and grew up isolated and that lasted well into my twenties #anyway I'm bitter #edit: *forced to miss my dance recital

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