#all other posting cancelled. we're back to iris for the forseeable future

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

So I noticed a parallel between one of Pearl's lines and one of Iris's:

Pearl: I... I really am useless! I didn't even manage to burn the letter properly as my mother had asked of me... Such a simple thing... And I couldn't even do it right...

Iris: But I couldn't get you to give it back... I failed at something even as simple as that. Six months passed and I still couldn't get it back from you.

And it just got me thinking, again, about how crucial they are to each other's development and healing after the events of BttT. Like, yes, Pearl is surrounded by people who love and care for her, but none of them really understand what it's like to have loved, and to keep loving, someone who has wronged others close to you. None of them understand what it's like to feel guilty to have failed that person, even when you know you shouldn't have helped them, nor what it's like to carry these conflicted feelings of love and guilt with you in silence for the rest of time because you can't talk about it. That person was evil. They're a monster. You love them, but you shouldn't. No one understands... except Iris.

Iris, who would have given her life for Phoenix but still feels guilty over failing Dahlia. Iris, who's lived most of her life knowing the sins of Dahlia's past but still says she loves her the moment she's allowed to speak of her. Iris, whose first instinct after her failure was to hide herself away from everyone who loved her, just like Pearl's was. Iris, who can look at Pearl and see so much of herself reflected back that she understands implicitly what it's like. How much pain Pearl is truly carrying with her. How much unspoken grief.

And Iris, who can look at Pearl and see how senseless it really is, yet how inevitable, and hold her through her sorrow while also gradually letting go of her own misplaced guilt because she sees now, truly, how that helps no one and hurts everyone. I'm thinking about Iris and Pearl, who were sisters before they even knew each other and are so alike in so many tiny, significant ways that it's nothing short of a miracle, and I'm thinking about how they're the last pieces of a broken family, but they make the strongest link. I'm thinking about Iris and Pearl.