#all my blogs are on a soft hiatus so i don't burn myself out but i wanted to mention this

[lowhowl]

Hey, so I'm kinda starting to put a lot more focus into personal projects (currently writing the script for my next video) and as much as I was hoping to avoid this, I'm going to have to place this blog on hiatus until I start to get muse again, even if 'hiatus' is just tumblrspeak for 'So long, losers.'

I'm not going to definitively say I'm going away, or that I'll come back, but a lot of my inspiration for writing has gone elsewhere and I'd much rather pursue that than risk burning myself out.

I can be reached at my twitter @/WebbedSpiders (slight nsfw warning, account is minors dni) where I'm a lot more candid, mostly tweet at other creators, post my own stuff, and complain; or my Discord, for close mutuals.

also, a bit of an addendum below the cut- it's under a cut specifically bc it waxes negative but I feel like it's important to say because it is cutting into my ability to write here.

fair warning, I'm going to be very blunt and kind of serious with my words here. this also isn't an invitation to discussion, I am plainly stating my thoughts and I will not be swayed.

disclaimer: this is not directed at anyone. please, for the love of the gods, do not take any of this as 'oh did I do something?' you didn't. This is more about how the roleplay community as a whole operates, and no single person can be blamed for any of this.

There's always an air of pressure about Tumblr communities. In the time where I've just been here talking to people, interacting, not really causing problems as far as I know, I've still managed to get softblocked by people just because of association or because I don't mention something at all.

And while it's well within the right of these people to do this- these systems exist so you can curate a safe corner for yourself- it has still created a lot of stress for me and it has lead to me overly moderating and overanalyzing a lot of my own posts, and worrying about what exactly I'd done to push these people away. To be brutally honest, that's not fun and is not conducive to a creative platform. Logging on to realize that threads you were very much looking forward to have effectively been dropped forever is disheartening.

and I think the argument of "well you should think about why you got (soft)blocked" in regards to if I'd done anything wrong is bullshit, because in every case that someone has broken mutuals with me after there's been an amount of IC interaction, there's been no discussion. There's been no clarity. Which means that there's no direct path to improvement or closure unless I go around asking other people why I was blocked, softblocked, whatever, and I'm simply not going to do that because that feels like a breach of privacy. At the very least, it comes off as an indication that the other person simply does not want to interact with you and does not want to even talk to you.

Should note, this doesn't really bother me if it happens with people I haven't really spoken to. This is more of a 'I thought we established we were cool' thing. I know I'm also guilty of this in some cases, but at the same time- I do regret doing it. I hate that it's just accepted as a product of the systems this community has set up, and I feel like everyone- no matter how severe their actions- deserves to at least know what everyone at least thinks or knows they did.

I'm also not stupid, I know that this is just the community that Tumblr has curated over the years and I understand that this is just how it operates, but I'm starting to realize that maybe this space just isn't for me. Creating for myself without the necessity of leaning on others for continuous threads has really broadened my horizons and made me feel like I can do a lot more. I still love Whisper. I still love writing. but if I'm going to continue with this blog down the line when I have muse again, I'm going to be very selective and it's going to be very sparingly. I've found a passion I care about- something that I can actually put all of my creative skills towards that can reach an audience- and I'd much rather focus on that.

If you read all this, thank you, but also. I'm sorry? This probably reads as aggressive and upset- but I've been holding on to a lot of these complaints for upwards of years from how long I've been on this platform, floating between roleplay communities, but I can't hold it in anymore. I hate to say it, but in the time I've spent away from Tumblr, I've just felt better.

[official-saltbag]

((happy birthday archer. baby turns 1 today))