#all in one place and just go 'yeah i should replay Vigilant actually-"

[x-nephophile-x]

Vigilant photo-dump because it's a great mod and if you make it a Blood and Gore ride, its an even more terrific time and definitely doesn't make you cry times two but it's okay, it's all an act of love and im not eating drywall over any of it! <3

Bonus Post-Vigilant Sol because she went through it:

[goldenavenger02]

Pillow Fights and Long Nights

5 Times Kai was in the hospital for Lloyd, 1 time Lloyd should have been in the hospital, and 1 time Lloyd was in the hospital for Kai.

Dedicated to @rosiehunterwolf

•••

1.

'I should've been watching him.' Kai thought to himself as they all stood in the waiting room of Ninjago City hospital. Since there were multiple doctors in Ignacia, he and Nya had never needed to be here.

However, hearing Jay's horror stories about multiple failed inventions landing him in here for days at a time, or hearing about Cole's failed dancing resulting in at least two different injuries, not to mention the Triple Tiger Sashay incident, was definitely not calming his nerves.

He shouldn't have left Lloyd alone with the training equipment he didn't know how to use, when there had been multiple other people who could've been checking where they were while waiting on a Serpentine sighting.

When he had been forced out of the Bridge because of Jay screaming, saying that Lloyd was bleeding on the deck, Kai had only ever felt that sinking feeling in his stomach twice before.

When Nya was taken by Garmadon, and when Lloyd nearly sank into the lava inside of the Fire Temple.

Which led to where they were now. The hailed "protectors of Ninjago" leaning against chairs and the wall of the hospital, staring at the door that Sensei, Lord Garmadon and Lloyd had disappeared behind, and pretending that they were not there at all in order to keep their heart rates from getting out of control.

"-which is why I stopped trying to climb the piles of junk." Jay's voice rang back in his head, snapping him out of his thoughts and he could feel fire against his hand.

"Kai, calm down," Nya's voice perked up, gently setting her hand on his arm, and Kai allowed himself to take a deep breath, the fire extinguishing from his hand, "I know you're upset, but if you burn down the hospital, you're going to be in a lot of trouble. This is probably a place we don't need to get banned from."

"Yeah, I'm just worried. He's been in there for over an hour and we haven't heard anything," Kai explained, letting his eyes flutter closed with worry, "I shouldn't have left him alone."

"You didn't know he would get hurt," Cole explained, putting his hand on his other shoulder, "you can't put that on yourself."

"But I knew that he was still getting the hang of the training equipment, and I knew that you guys were standing by and waiting for the Serpentine sighting." Kai argued, but Zane just shook his head before speaking up.

"We've gotten hurt multiple times using that equipment, and it wasn't this bad. You were probably just expecting a bump or bruise at the most, even if it was more so an instinct than an actual thought."

"Yeah, no one blames you, dude." Jay added, putting his hand against Kai's back when finally, the door opened and Sensei came out.

"He's going to be alright," he assured before any of them could say a word, and Kai couldn't keep his sigh of relief in, "He has a concussion, and he has to stay overnight so he can be monitored, but he's going to be just fine."

"Can we see him?" Kai asked, and had to swallow when Sensei shook his head "no", because while he knew Garmadon wouldn't hurt Lloyd after they just got him back, he still felt uneasy with him being around Lloyd by himself.

"He's sleeping now, and his father is with him. We'll come back in a few hours, but we still have to stay vigilant and make sure that Pythor doesn't get the last Fangblade."

"Yes, Sensei." All six of them groaned and made their way back to the Bounty, and Kai had to force his feet to go and avoid disrespecting Sensei yet again, no matter how tempting it was.

2.

"Well, the good news is that Cole's going to throw out expired spices now." Kai joked, sitting on the edge of Lloyd's hospital bed, phone in hand as he updated Nya on Lloyd's condition.

Due to a flu going around, only one person was allowed to visit at a time, and Sensei had decided that Kai should stay with him while he went to stock up on healing teas for this exact scenario in the future.

"Not funny, dude," Lloyd groaned, curling up on his side, "my stomach still feels like it's going to explode."

"I think it already did." Kai chuckled, immediately regretting it when he saw the look of pure misery on Lloyd's face, which had him shoving his phone in his pocket before looking right at him, "sorry, I'll stop. Can I get you another ginger ale?"

"I'm just going to throw it up," Lloyd sighed, rubbing a hand over his face before turning on the TV.

Unfortunately, they were immediately greeted by Gayle Gossip talking about how Garmadon had seemingly gone missing, which Kai reached over and turned off, seeing Lloyd put his head in his hands, "on second thought, I'd rather throw up."

Kai couldn't help but smile sympathetically at him, gently squeezing his hand. "You've got us, Lloyd," that's when an idea popped into his head, "let me text Zane, see if we can figure out a way to smuggle some of his chicken noodle soup in here."

"Don't let him use the expired spices," Lloyd groaned as Kai pulled out his phone again.

"It'd probably taste better than the food in here." Kai teased with a smile, receiving a glare from Lloyd; and in hindsight, the pillow he received to the face from Lloyd was most likely well deserved.

3.

"Just a sprained wrist, Kai," the doctor smiled softly as they wrapped bandages around the cut that covered his left arm, "you're very lucky."

Kai nodded, although he wasn't focused on the pain in his wrist, and more so on the fact that they maybe had two minutes of peace before Lloyd had passed out against him due to the absolute exhaustion from the final battle.

And while he knew that he had his uncle and parents, he couldn't stop the worry from clawing at his heart as the moment replayed in his head.

•••

"There's no way of knowing what's around the corner, but as long as there's something worth fighting for, there's always a need for a ninja. And we'll be ready." Kai insisted to Sensei, watching as his team approached him.

He couldn't keep the grin off his face as they looked to the brightness, one hand on Sensei's back and the other on Lloyd's shoulder. 'Little Lloyd Garmadon saved the day.'

However, just when they looked away from the sun, and the others started to spread out, that's when Kai noticed just how pale Lloyd was, even with a smile on his face. "Lloyd? You okay?" He asked softly, nudging his shoulder.

"My leg hurts…" Lloyd mumbled, his words slurring slightly, but before Kai could alert the others, Lloyd was already unconscious and slumped against his chest.

"Sensei!" He called out, gently maneuvering Lloyd so he was on his back, watching as the others ran back towards him, "Sensei, a little help!"

•••

Kai made his way to the waiting room with instructions to avoid using his left wrist, and kept back the disappointment when he didn't see Lloyd, but he couldn't hold back his relief to see Nya and immediately engulfed her in a hug which she returned just as tightly. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"I'm glad you're okay," she smiled before pulling away, glancing down at his arm before looking back at him, "well, mostly."

Kai couldn't ignore the bandage against her cheek, and when he looked back at his other teammates, it seemed as though Zane and his father were the only ones unscathed.

Cole was absolutely littered in bruises nearly everywhere that there was bare skin, both of Nya's eyes had bruises around them along with scratches that covered both of her arms, and he could tell that Jay's ribs were at least bruised by the way he was breathing, not to mention the stitches that were peeking out from the neckline of his gi.

"How's Lloyd?" Kai asked softly, unable to stop holding onto his sister, watching as her face switched from a smile to a soft frown. 'That was never good.'

"He's absolutely drained, not to mention his ankle was nearly shattered. The doctors think that it was the adrenaline that kept him from feeling it. They're not letting anyone who isn't family see him until after they do surgery on it."

"They don't have the right to call us anything other than his family." Kai scowled, pushing past Nya as his chest burned, determined to find Lloyd even if he burned the whole hospital down around them.

Luckily for the staff, Lloyd's room was easy to find and Kai immediately walked in, resulting in the turn of Sensei, Misako and Garmadon's heads.

"Kai, calm down." Sensei insisted firmly, holding a hand out towards Kai but he couldn't stop him from going to Lloyd, which forced him to swallow.

His skin was the palest he had ever seen, even compared to when he had gotten food poisoning a few months back, his ankle was wrapped up, but Kai could still see the bruises stretch up his leg, and his under eyes were dark, like he hadn't slept in weeks.

"Kai, it might be best for you to wait with the others." Sensei suggested softly, putting his hands on his shoulders, but he shook him off and grabbed Lloyd's hand instead.

"I made a promise to protect the green ninja, to fight beside him; with all due respect, Sensei, I can't do that in a waiting room. And if any of you try to make the argument that I'm not family, I'm going to fight you tooth and nail," Kai stopped for a moment to look at Lloyd's sunken face before turning back to his three parental figures, "Lloyd's my brother, just as much as Nya is my sister. I'm not leaving him."

To Kai's surprise, Garmadon was actually the one who approached him and set his hand on his shoulder before he spoke, "no one is going to kick you out, Kai. And if they try, they'll have to go through me."

Kai nodded, and despite the fact he was no longer evil, he was still a little shocked that he was agreeing with Garmadon.

But at the same time, as he held Lloyd's hand in his, he had never been happier to have him on his side.

4.

"I can't believe how awesome your powers are, Nya." Jay admired, resulting in a smile from Nya, which Kai watched from afar.

He knew that Nya viewed them as friends, but with the way Jay looked at her, he had a flicker of something telling him that they would get together again someday

"I can't believe that I'm still being put on the pediatric ward," Lloyd mumbled, throwing a crumpled up piece of paper at the trash can, "I'm one of Ninjago's protectors and I'm still being treated like a kid."

That brought Kai back to the present as all five of them had crammed themselves into Lloyd's hospital room after the events of what had happened in Stiix.

After all, nearly losing Lloyd to Morro was nerve wracking for all of them, and after the events of the battle against the preeminent, Lloyd had all but passed out on the way back to Ninjago City due to being sleep deprived and malnourished.

"In their defense, Lloyd, you are under the age of eighteen, which means unless there were special circumstances, you are required to be put with other minors." Zane supplied, which only received a sarcastic response from Lloyd.

"Thanks, Zane. Real helpful." And with that, he threw another piece of paper at the trash can.

Kai shot a glance towards Cole, silently telling him that he needed to talk to Lloyd alone and hoped that he got the newly turned ghost's attention, even though they were all still coming to terms with the change.

Luckily, Cole was still Cole, and got the message loud and clear before turning to the others; "Hey, let's go check out the cafeteria, see if we can find anything worth smuggling up here to Lloyd."

After Zane, Jay, Nya and Cole left, and Kai could no longer hear Jay's questions about if Cole even needed to eat anymore, he turned to Lloyd and sat next to him on the bed, taking in Lloyd's condition.

His under eyes were very dark, his skin was way too pale and Kai could see just how much muscle mass Lloyd had lost, and how he seemed like a shell of the lively kid who loved candy and pranking his brothers.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kai asked softly, gently squeezing Lloyd's right shoulder since his hand had an IV in it that was currently pumping him full of fluids and electrolytes.

"My dad...is really gone," Lloyd stopped to wipe the tears that started running down with his left arm, even though more followed immediately after, "I-I don't know what to do anymore."

Kai didn't stop himself from pulling him into a hug, feeling the warm tears leak through his gi as Lloyd gripped onto him tighter. "I've got you, Lloyd," he felt the tears against his cheek while squeezing his brother tighter, "You've still got me."

5.

Kai couldn't keep his foot from tapping on the ground as he waited for Lloyd and Misako to get to the waiting room.

After Cole had become human once again, and Morro had disappeared, the majority of the group got to work on emptying out the Airjitzu temple, except for Kai, Misako and Lloyd.

When he saw the fact that Lloyd had a massive cut running from his left cheek to his jawline, and heard that Misako was taking Lloyd to the hospital despite his protests that "he'd have the coolest battle scar", Kai had offered to drive them to the hospital.

The only thing he knew about their Day of the Departed was from the hushed whispers that they had shared on the drive, which had the key words like "Pythor" and "my father", so he knew it was just as bad as what he and Nya had gone through with Chen, if not way worse.

The hospital was nearly empty, so his foot was tapping on the floor and he had his phone open to social media, trying to keep himself from losing his mind.

"Mom, I'm fine." He heard Lloyd insist as two sets of footsteps approached him, and he put his phone in his pocket, smiling when he saw the two of them, the younger of the two sporting a giant bandage against the left side of his face, which Lloyd seemed to take offense to as he snapped, "don't even start making jokes, Kai."

"Hey, hey, relax, Green Machine, I'm smiling cause you're okay," Kai insisted, wrapping his arm around Lloyd's shoulder as they made their way to the car before whispering, "if you need to talk to someone besides your mom, I'm here for you, okay?"

"I don't need to talk, but…" Lloyd trailed off, glancing at his mom before returning eye contact with Kai, "it'd be nice if I wasn't alone tonight."

"We'll figure it out, kid," Kai smiled, shuddering as they were met with the freezing air, feeling Lloyd get closer to him, "I swear."

5.5

"How could Lloyd be so...so stupid?!" Kai shouted, his hands going to his hair in anger, "he should've waited for us to come up with a plan!"

"You know that you did this once too, right Kai?" Cole piped up, and Kai couldn't respond with anything but a glare, because he was right.

Kai himself had fought Garmadon without a plan and even locked his team out of the room, but he thought that the golden weapons were being stolen, as for Lloyd…

Well, now that he thought about it, Lloyd had good reasoning as well; he wanted to bring his father, all of his father, back, and with how many nights he had fallen asleep in his arms, eyes full of grief, Kai couldn't even blame him.

He let out a frustrated sigh, the worry striking his heart like a loaded cannon that had just gotten new ammunition. 'I can't lose Lloyd, not now. Not after everything.'

Kai felt a cool, soft hand against his shoulder, and he didn't stop himself from clinging onto Zane while starting to chew on his lip, feeling his teeth start to make small indents against his skin.

"That's him!" PIXAL's voice rang in Kai's head as the Bounty slowed to a stop, Jay, Cole and Nya immediately rushing out, but Zane continued to hold onto Kai.

"Let me go!," Kai shouted, his vision going red as anger burned in his chest as he started to fight against Zane's hold, "I need to see Lloyd!"

"It would be unwise for you to see Lloyd until he's back on the Bounty, as we are trying to get out of here as soon as possible," Zane explained, the tight hold still feeling gentle against his shoulder, "they'll bring him aboard soon."

"Nya, how is he?" PIXAL asked over the comms, bringing Kai's attention to them as he focused in on his little sister's voice.

"We need the gurney, he's… He's in really bad shape," she explained, a sniffle cutting her off before she continued, "Kai, Zane, be ready to take him to control; it's still set up from where we fixed Zane."

"We're on it." Kai insisted, his heart beating so loud that he could hear it as he and Zane sprinted outside as the gurney was lifted on deck while the others climbed the ropes; Kai couldn't keep his gasp in when Lloyd's face hit the light.

His nose was definitely broken, both of his eyes were black, and the rest of his face was covered in scratches and bruises; he didn't even want to know what was under Lloyd's gi.

As he and Zane lifted Lloyd, the hot skin against their hands, he let out a groan that made Kai wince. 'Lloyd is the level headed one, he doesn't do this. He doesn't run off into danger.'

But as the two of them laid Lloyd down, Kai swallowed harshly, because Lloyd had in fact run into danger before...for his family.

As the others ran into the room, minus Nya who was calling Misako, and started to patch up Lloyd's injuries as best as they could, Kai couldn't help from speaking up. "He needs to be in the hospital. He's way too hot, and way too injured."

"Where would we even go? Harumi and the Sons of Garmadon are patrolling the city like crazy, we'll be lucky to even make it in, let alone get him inside of the hospital." Cole explained, gently wiping the sand off of Lloyd's face.

Kai relented; he knew Cole was right, there was no way to get him professional medical treatment, and he just had to hope that Misako had some idea of where to take him, cause he also knew that there was no way that Lloyd was going to live if they only used their limited medical knowledge and supplies.

Lloyd's wheeze was what brought Kai out of his thoughts and he instantly wrapped both of his hands around his left one before whispering in Lloyd's ear.

"It's going to be okay, we're going to save you. Just focusing on staying alive."

6.

He had pushed himself too far.

As Kai sat in his room in the burn unit, looking at his fully bandaged arms and wrists, he knew that. He also knew that he was extremely grateful for the pain medication that kept him from feeling both the burns and the frost bite.

"So this is what the normal ward looks like." Lloyd remarked as he got up from the chair and sat on the end of Kai's bed with a smile.

"Yeah, not as many fun decorations, squirt," Kai joked before going serious, "I don't wanna see you in here unless you're visiting someone else, you got that?"

"Unfortunately for me, being the "prophesied green ninja" doesn't give me that luxury," Lloyd lamented before glaring at Kai, "and don't call me squirt, I'm finally gaining up on you."

"You could be six four and I'd still call you squirt, it's my job as an older brother, ask Nya. As for staying out of the hospital, you're supposed to humor me, chosen one," Kai snorted, receiving a pillow to the face, "hey, I can't retaliate!"

"I'd prefer being a kid over being the chosen one and you know it." Lloyd explained, glaring daggers at Kai, to which he raised his hands in surrender before asking.

"Alright, I'll stop. Where are the others? They usually don't let you walk around unsupervised."

"PIXAL and Zane are on a date, Nya insisted that they hang out together after we got back from the Never Realm; Jay and Nya are working on some upgrades to the Bounty, and Cole and my uncle went shopping, something about chicken feed," Lloyd explained before smiling at Kai, "besides, I'm not unsupervised, I'm hanging out with you."

Kai couldn't keep the smile from spreading across his face as he managed to sit up and ruffle up Lloyd's hair, even though it was immediately followed by a rush of searing hot pain from the movement.

"Alright, hot head," Lloyd laughed, gently pushing Kai back against the pillows, "leave my hair alone and get some rest; for once, let me take care of you."

"Pretty sure that's illegal." Kai retorted, immediately being smacked with another pillow, although not as hard as the first one, "can you stop doing that?"

'You better think of a creative threat against him.' He thought to himself.

"What're you going to do about it?" Lloyd challenged, picking up a third pillow, which led Kai to smirk before putting on his best pouting face.

"I'm going to tell Nya that you were being really mean to me when I'm injured and weak, and have her deal with you accordingly."

Whatever punishment Lloyd had thought of Nya giving him was enough for him to drop the pillow immediately with a look of terror on his face, and Kai couldn't even blame him; Nya was never a force to be reckoned with, whether you were an enemy or family.

The room went silent for a few minutes after that, until Lloyd sniffled, which made Kai's ears perk up as he sat up again, wrapping his upper arm around Lloyd's shoulder so his wrist and hand wasn't touching anything, "hey, hey, what's wrong? If it's about throwing pillows, I-"

"No, not that…," Lloyd's voice shook before he turned slightly and hugged Kai around the stomach tightly, nearly knocking the wind out of him, "I can't lose anyone else. Not anymore. I almost lost you and Zane, and I… Not again."

Kai pulled Lloyd towards him closer so he could cry against his shoulder, despite the fact that it sent the same searing pain through his body again, "I've got you, Lloyd. You're going to have a really tough time getting rid of me, you know that."

After a few moments, Lloyd emerged from his shoulder, now glaring at him again, and Kai knew exactly why this time; might not be best to joke about loss to the kid who had been abandoned by his mom and lost his dad twice now.

"Yeah, throw the pillow at my head, I deserve that this time."

Kai didn't expect the hit to be so hard that his head almost spun all the way around, but seeing the smirk on Lloyd's face made all the neck and jaw pain worth it.

[maybedefinitely404]

Day 24: Prinxiety

@tsshipmonth2020

Day 24: When you meet your soulmate for the first time, you get a brief flash-forward of your future.

Content warnings: character getting stabbed, blood, mugging, violence, storm mention, near death experience but he doesn’t die okay I couldn’t do that. 

While replaying SVS in my head at work, the line “I think he’s suggesting we beat someone up and rob their unconscious body” came up. Then little old me thought, yeah, that, but make it angsty. 

Word count: 3.3k

Roman hadn’t been knocked down by the first hit. It had stunned him, sure, but when faced with a fight or flight response, his instinct was to hit back, and hit hard. So even with his eyes throbbing in his skull and a drop of blood trailing down his neck, he spun around to the attacker and swung, elbow cracking neatly against his nose. 

The man was surprised, and for a second Roman thought he had the advantage. Until, that is, he recalled that a surprised person is a dangerous one. By that point, it was too late though, and his hands were already fumbling at the knife sticking out of his stomach. Why couldn’t he just have gone down easily?

The attacker must have pushed him farther into the alley he had sprung from, was Roman’s only thought, as he lay deadly still on the dirty New York concrete, his only sensation being the sickly warm pool of blood spreading out under him. It soaked through his shirt, an uncomfortable feeling that definitely shouldn’t be the worst thing about this situation, but he’d gone numb. He knew distantly that that was a bad thing, that the pain had started fading until it was as dim as the world around him had become, yet he couldn’t bring himself to care. He was dying. And that really should have alarmed him more. It was so peaceful, though, the way the streetlights blurred and shifted, the steady thrum of bass from a nearby building, his own shallow breathing.

As it was shown in every story, in all the movies, he kept waiting for his life to flash before his eyes. There were things he’d gladly see one more time; annoyed tiffs with his brother, building their treehouse, his mom planting a big kiss on his cheek on his first day of senior year. His college drama group, and their stupid shenanigans. Late night rehearsals at his first signed theatre company. Strangely, the closer he got to complete silence, the more annoyed he was that he couldn’t see it all one last time. Is that really so much to ask?

And then, all of the sudden, it was there. It was like settling into your seat in the movie theatre just as it began, reclining in a big chair and just watching it go by. However, his addled mind took far too long to realize this wasn’t in fact, his life. Or, anything he’d lived so far, that is. 

He saw a man standing before him, just barely shorter than him, with a reluctant grin on his face and a blush rising in his cheeks. The guy wasn’t anyone he knew, though; he’d remember such a gorgeous face. Their hands were softly intertwined as they stood on the roof of a building, outlined by the stars and a distant flickering of a candle. Then the scene changed. 

...

The man was sitting on the floor, hunched into the corner of a bedroom that Roman didn’t recognize. Like in a dream, he had no control over his actions as he lunged forward, dropping to his knees in front of his shaking form. He asked something, the exact words contorting in his brain until they were unintelligible mumbles, and the man nodded. In experienced movements, he wrapped his arms around his shoulders, running a hand through his hair and reminding him to breathe, that he’s okay. He felt a sense of protectiveness he hadn’t felt in a long time, pulling the curled up figure onto his lap until his breathing returned to normal. 

...

He was on the stage, a pretty typical place for him to be, but tonight it was different. The butterflies were absolutely nuts in his stomach, and he kept scanning the audience directly after songs, in those brief seconds of pure raging applause where he could just admire the crowd. Finally, he spotted what he was looking for; a lone person sitting near the front, grinning at him like he was a puppy and it was Christmas morning. The single expression on his face was one of pure admiration, and it somehow made the butterflies both completely dissolve and increase tenfold. 

...

Now they were in a park, walking side by side. His focus was carefully set on the path before them, focus switching between the gorgeous red leaves in the trees and the winding path. He recognized the park vaguely, as if he’d been there many times, and was mentally mapping out the best trail for them to go to. He wanted them to stop at the turtle pond, he knew that much. There was a pull on Roman’s arm and he looked down, heart melting at the wide grin the young girl between them was flashing. They were both holding one of her hands for balance as she toddled along, and apparently she’d tugged on both their hands, because they were both looking at her now.

“Swing me!” She giggled, using their support to keep her from falling as she lifted her feet off the ground, hopping in her best impression of a kangaroo. And how could they say no to that (they couldn’t), so they gave into her wishes, tightening their grips and counting down. On one, they both swung her forward and she exploded into shrieking laughter, not stopping until her feet were firmly on the ground once more.

“Again, again!”

...

She was older now, probably just starting school. They were in the same park as before, not that Roman could see much of it from his intense focus on the little girl, but he just knew. Her tongue was stuck out in concentration as she readjusted her elbow pads and helmet before they were perfect, and he gently held the back of her shirt as she shuffled her feet onto the pedals of the small bike. They lapped around the playground twice as she grew more confident, pedaling by herself, before Roman let go and she took off by herself.

“Dad, Papa, look! Look!” 

They both laughed quietly as she continued to shout in joy, riding her bike for the first time. The other man laid his head in Roman’s shoulder, and he felt as though his heart would burst.

...

Dropping her off at college was the hardest thing the two of them had ever done. Unlike every annoyed college student stereotype, she hugged them tightly and tried not to cry, promising to call every day. Roman didn’t even pretend to try and stop the tears that trailed down his cheeks as the other man drove them back home, rubbing his hand soothingly. 

“She’ll be okay.”

He couldn’t make out his own response, but he didn’t have to to know that it was positive. The man smiled lightly, pressing his hand to his lips and kissing it softly. 

...

It was early Sunday morning cuddles and three AM cookie batches. It was falling asleep on the couch after cliche rom coms wrapped in fuzzy blankets and pressed together like they couldn’t get enough of each other. It was electrifying first kisses and dreamy first dates and terrifying proposals and never ending bickering, but it always ended in giggling fits and kisses where they couldn’t stop smiling. It was holding the other as a storm raged outside, the thunder making him shake, and it was spontaneous lunch dates with their daughter. It was everything Roman wanted.

...

And everything he’d never have. 

As the visions faded, the world seemed just a tad clearer, and all the harsher. The knife in his stomach began to burn, white hot pain, as bad as when he’d first been stabbed. Every bone in his body screamed in agony, now the blood under him cooling and causing chills to spread through him. To his left, where the entrance to the alley was, there was some shuffling and a bright light burned through his eyelids, nearly making him flinch. He didn’t quite have the energy for that, though.

“Holy shit!”

---------------------------------------------------

Not often did Virgil walk downtown after it was dark, but when he did, he followed his own set of rules to a tee. Head down, peripheral vision on high alert, keys clutched between his fingers in his pocket. New York was hell after the sun went down, and today he had no choice but to walk the rarely trodden backroads to get home. The continuous shivers up his spine made his breath hitch, but his anxiety had gotten to the point where he couldn’t tell if it was an actual sixth sense warning or his brain deciding to panic out of sheer boredom. 

As he did when walking past every even subtly suspicious dark alley, he kept his head down but searched the abyss with his eyes, ever vigilant for oncoming attackers. He’d envisioned every possible bad scenario, every mugging and kidnapping possibility down to the minute details. What he hadn’t expected, however, was the sudden barrage of unrelated images that flooded across his vision, like a chopped up movie that he had no control over. 

He was looking up at a guy, maybe the handsomest he’d ever seen. His auburn hair glinted in the light of the candles set around the edge of the building, a nervous smile on his face as he showed the amazing view to him. It was beautiful, Virgil would admit, but he felt more at home in the man’s arms, more dazzled than anything the world could show him.

...

The cold grip of a panic attack was something Virgil was all too familiar with, and in his mind’s eye he could almost feel the tightness of his chest, the adrenaline pumping through him, the dizziness that every shuddered intake of breath caused. A voice called for him, somewhere else in the house, but he was unable to answer, pressing himself further into the wall to try and ground himself on something solid. 

There was a thud and rapid footsteps, but instead of pulling away as he expected himself to do, he felt drawn to it. An almost tearfully gentle voice asked if he could be touched right now and he nodded immediately, wanting nothing more than to not feel alone as he was collapsing in on himself. He was lifted into someone’s arms and he felt instinctively that it was the same man from the first vision, cradling him and hushing him softly. A hand carded through his hair and the panic receded bit by bit, leaving him feeling absolutely exhausted but just as safe. 

...

There was a stage before him, a grand thing with an even grander set. He was caged in by people on all sides, a fact that would usually cause those little ribbons of panic to start blooming in his chest, but he was so focussed on the actors that he didn’t have the energy. One in particular stood out to him, the lead character of the show, belting out perfect melodies with pitch perfect notes and taking on his character with no flaws. After a song, when he was taking a breather during the applause and scanning the audience, their eyes locked, and his character smile turned into one of real elation. And Virgil knew, he just knew, that this was a smile only he was privy to. 

...

There was a girl tugging at their hands. Virgil didn’t know her name, but he knew that he knew her, if only by the way his eyes never left her. He was protective of her, watching her every clumsy little step so she didn’t fall, with the man on her other side looking ahead, choosing their paths and watching for bikers. It was like a little unspoken agreement they had, and his skyrocketing anxiety appreciated that. She caught his watchful eye with a gap toothed smile, expression suddenly alight with a smile. The other man looked down to her as she tugged on his arm.  

“Swing me!”  

So they did. 

...

He hated this, but he knew deep down, if they didn’t teach her to ride her bike now, she’d never learn. She’d already been complaining that all her friends were riding bikes already. Even still, he’d refused to be the one to teach her, not wanting to be responsible for any scratched knees or broken arms or cracked skulls or-

He was gnawing on his fingernails as she fixed her helmet and elbow pads, drawing blood in his cuticle when she finally started moving. It was more of a restrained wobble, what with the man holding her steady, but to his equal horror and excitement, she got the hang of it quickly. It was barely two laps of the playground before she broke free of his grip, with an exuberant shout. 

“Dad, Papa, look! Look!”

The man stood next to him proudly, panting slightly from the run, and Virgil smiled, resting his head on the other’s shoulder as they watched their daughter. His anxiety immediately lessened as he placed a tender kiss on Virgil’s head.

...

She grew up far too quick for either of their likings; it seemed only yesterday that they were taking their baby girl home for the first time, when in fact they were now pulling up to her first college dorm. While he was generally the anxious one of the family, his partner was definitely the dramatic one. Not in a bad way (most of the time), but it was enough to know that Virgil would definitely need to be the strong one today. It wouldn’t help anyone if all three of them broke down. He offered to drive, since the other man was too tear clogged to even see the road.

He reached over and took his hand as they pulled out of the campus, letting his thumb rub over the knuckles.

“She’ll be okay.”

“I know. She has us as parents, duh. I just... miss her already.”

Virgil smiled, still keeping his stoic face on. He’d cry later. For now, in a move that was very much the other’s specialty, not his, he lifted their joined hands to his lips and kissed them. 

...

It was never ending hugs after hard days and midnight dance parties to old songs. It was learning new recipes in the kitchen and settling for take out when it all inevitably went downhill, and holding hands while brushing their teeth like they couldn’t get enough of each other. It was terrifying first kisses and nerve-wracking first dates and unforgettable proposals and never ending bickering, but it always ended in giggling fits and kisses where they couldn’t stop smiling. It was clutching onto the other as a storm raged outside, every lightning flash bringing new rounds of choked sobs (it was still scary, but for the first time in his life, he wasn’t alone), and it was dress shopping with their daughter for her first dance. It was everything Virgil wanted.

...

Everything he’d never thought he’d have. 

He blinked rapidly, his chest tightening. From all the stories he’d heard, that was definitely a soulmate vision. Meaning, he’d just seen his soulmate for the first time, but he hadn’t seen anyone. 

Had he? 

Squinting in the inky darkness, he peered down the alley he was passing. There was a lump on the ground, which could be a person, but could just as easily be a garbage bag. He very much hoped it was not a person, despite what that would mean for his confusing visions. He fumbled his phone out of his pocket, turning on the flashlight setting, and shone it towards the alley.

“Holy shit!” He yelped before he could stop himself, sprinting forward like his soulmate had in the vision and dropping to his knees, ignoring the way the man’s blood soaked through the legs of his jeans. “Holy shit. Holy shit. Oh god. Are you awake? Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.”

The man was still for a moment, unmoving, before he let out a low groan. His hand twitched by his side and Virgil immediately took it, social anxiety be damned. It was cold.

“Keep… I don’t know, keep breathing, okay? I’m gonna call an ambulance, just hang on. Don’t die, dude, I’m serious.” The two rings it took for the emergency operator to pick up the phone were the most tense seconds of Virgil’s life, and he almost started crying when a voice spoke from the other line.

“I need an ambulance,” He choked out, describing their location as best he could. The operator kept speaking to him, drilling in him to not touch the knife and to apply pressure around it, asking question after question, but her all-too-calm voice was too much for Virgil and he hung up. She'd already assured that an ambulance was coming, anyways. 

With shaking hands, he turned the flashlight back towards the man on the ground, apologizing when he squeezed his eyes tight at the light. His eyes were both swollen, an abundance of black and blue bruises bleeding down to his lips. He was wearing too much, and was too still, to tell if anything else was hurt on him (aside from the jarring knife, which Virgil was trying hard not to look at). Whether he was shaking from fear or pain, Virgil couldn’t identify. He apologized again, placing his phone on the ground and pushed in around the wound, trying to apply pressure without causing more damage.

His repeated apologies were unable to actually prevent any pain, though, and the moment he made significant contact, the man hissed loudly, eyes shooting wide open. 

“I’m sorry. Shit, I’m so sorry. Please don’t move,” Virgil stammered, shocked when the man actually gave a weak, blood stained smile.

“Don’ think... I could ‘f I... w’nted to,” He breathed, words slurring and breath stuttering. The rise and fall of his chest was so shallow, Virgil doubted he was getting any air at all.

“Don’t die, okay dude? It’s gonna look real bad on me if they get here and you’re dead,” Virgil blurted, letting the tiniest smidge of sarcasm into his voice. To his surprise, the man actually gave a small snort.

“Wouldn’t... w’nt you to look... guilty.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page,” Virgil smiled shakily, adjusting his fingers lightly around the knife, wincing at the hiss of pain it elicited. “Sorry. What’s your name?”

“Roman,” He whispered as his eyelids began to flutter, eyes losing their brief focus.

“Hey, no no no. Look at me, Roman. My name’s Virgil.”

“V’rgil… Like that name.” Even through his increasing haziness, he was doing his best to listen to the instructions from the other man. Blinking rapidly, he tried to study the blurry face of the man above him. He could just make out his dark hair and eyes, and a faint purple shimmer across his lids. The other details were just a tan blob.

“Yeah, you’re probably the first. My mom thought it was unique, or whatever.”

“I like it.”

“I’m glad.”

“Can you stay with me?” Roman croaked, gaze flitting between the few features of the other’s face that he could see. “I don’t want to die alone.”

“You’re not going to die!” Virgil said vehemently, though his heart broke at the request. Did this guy really think he would just leave him as he was? “You can’t.”

“I’m scared,” Roman whispered, and in the dim light of the street lamps, Virgil could see the glossy tears filling his swollen eyes. 

“I know you are. I am, too. But I’m not leaving, okay? I’m staying here; I’m not leaving you alone. Stay awake for me, okay?” Virgil got a tiny nod in affirmation in response, and he shifted his hands again so he was pressing around the knife with only one. The other one was sticky with blood, but that wasn’t important, as he reached down and took Roman’s hand in his own. 

Roman kept his promise, as difficult as it was, and kept his eyes open and focused on Virgil until a flurry of sirens and flashing lights lit up the alley. 

[twdmusicboxmystery]

Carol’s Circular Arc and How it Points to Beth’s Imminent Return

Okay, let’s talk about how Carol’s arc fits into all of this. Because she does, and in a big way. We’ve seen Beth/Carol parallels for years and known they were significant. They’re finally starting to come together for us in a way that makes tons of sense. (Yes, I’m aware that I say that sort of thing a lot, but when I say it, it IS generally true. ;D)

Okay, so I’m going to talk about how we’re seeing a replay of Carol’s S4/S5 mentality right now, and also the Tom Sawyer theme, and how all of that points to Beth’s imminent return.

So right now, Carol’s mentality is a combination of what it was during 4a and 5a. 4a because she’s being homicidal, immoral, and taking things into her own hands in a way that’s hurtful to other people. Just as she did when she decided to kill Karen and David in order to protect people at the prison.

Of course, at that point, she hadn’t recently lost any children. Not since Sophia. In 5a, she still had that mentality, but she had also lost Lizzie and Mika and was dealing with immense guilt over that situation. Now, in S10, we’re seeing a combination of the two. She’s got that same mentality, and she’s dealing with the loss of Henry. Basically, she’s more messed up than she’s ever been.

In terms of parallels to S5, I’ve already said I saw similarities between this episode and Consumed. That comes mostly from her and Daryl’s interaction and the mood of the episode. In both episodes, Carol is being dark and broody and Daryl can tell she’s in pain. He wants and tries to help, but she’s not terribly receptive to him.

So there’s some evidence that this season can be paralleled to S5. (And I’ve already talked about how I think Carol and Daryl will leave together to go find Connie at some point, which would equate to them going to search for Beth in S5.)

But there’s more, Grasshopper. Much more.

Let’s return to the scene I talked about the other day from 5x07, when Beth went into Edwards’ office and we had the 10:40 clock in the background. Remember how I said that Beth went into Edwards’ office to ask him what medicine was necessary to save Carol. That line really rang in my head when I thought it.

What medicine is necessary to save Carol.

Interesting. Because there’s a lot going on with Carol at the moment in the show. You might even say she’s sick or injured. Not physically, but emotionally/psychologically. She’s certainly not in a super healthy positive place, right?

So we have two things that play into this in my mind:

The first is Carol crying and feeling super guilty after the explosion happens. When Daryl tries to walk away, she begs him to tell her that it’s all her fault, saying, “you cared about her, and she’s GONE, and it’s all my fault.” So it sounds like Carol’s guilt is less about herself or even about Connie (though they’ve shown us that she and Connie are friends) than it is about another woman Daryl cares about is gone from his life. And this time it’s very much her fault.

In Carol’s mind, she has to be equating this to him losing Beth. Probably yet another reason they had that convo early on where she encouraged him to pursue Connie.

What does that equate to? It’s hard to say, but I don’t think Carol had a lot of guilt about Beth being shot. From what we saw in Coda, it’s not terribly logical to say it was Carol’s fault in any way. However, there ARE those missing 17 days. And Father Gabriel yelled at Sasha about how the group had “sacrificed one of their own.” Plus he turned them in to Deanna, telling her they were evil and equating them with Satan. So it’s possible Carol has some guilt over SOMEthing that happened with Beth, but we don’t know/haven’t seen what it is, yet.

@frangipanilove​ has a whole theory—which I’m sure she’ll post eventually—about Rick and Carol lying to Daryl about something to do with Beth, and she has some good evidence for it.

Another aspect to point out. We have a precedent for Carol talking about one thing but meaning another, especially when it comes to her own guilt. I’ve pointed this out before in regards to The Grove. When talking about Lizzie, she says things like, “She’s too dangerous to be around other people. I should have seen it.” And while she IS referring to Lizzie as far as Tyrese is concerned, the fact that she keeps trying to leave the group after that shows she’s also referring to herself. She’s decided that she’s too toxic to be around other people, especially children, because they always die around her.

So the theory has been put forth that when Carol is begging Daryl to tell her it’s her fault, she’s talking about this incident in the mine with Connie, but she may also be referring to something having to do with Beth. Her guilt is SO strong here because this isn’t the first time something like this has happened.

The second thing that plays into this has to do with the dynamite and how it explodes.

When Daryl asks Carol to abandon her plan come back with him, she reaches for the dynamite, and drops it. Whether she meant it to or not, it sort of went off by accident. I want to connect that “accident” to something in S5: Carol being hit by the car.

That may sound random, but think of it this way. Carol wasn’t being overly-vigilant and she was hit by the car and taken to Grady. By being there, she automatically gave Dawn a second (third, if you count Noah) victim to leverage against Rick. If it had only been Beth they were trading for the two officers would have been enough to offset her and Noah leaving, and Beth may not have been shot. So I’m really not criticizing Carol for being hit by the car (not her fault) but it did lead to Beth’s “death” and death fake out, due to carelessness.

A lot like her dynamite stunt led to Connie’s. (Though admittedly, she was much ore to blame this time.)

Now back to the clock scene where Beth needs to know what medicine to use to save Carol.

We (both TD and the GA) have talked a lot in the past about the unreality of Carol’s miraculous recovery at Grady, when she apparently had internal injuries. I’ve always believed that this wasn’t so much the writers screwing something medical up as it was done on purpose for symbolic reasons. I mean, think of what the emotional equivalent of “internal injuries” would be.

So, Beth saved Carol by bringing her medicine that healed her internal injuries. Now Carol will feel immense guilt about Connie. And especially if we’re right that Connie “disappears” (Carol does use the phrase “gone”) and is presumed dead, then we have a parallel to Beth. And how would we heal Carol from this particular guilt? Well, the most obvious way is to find Connie, so that Daryl’s friend isn’t dead yet again and he’s not alone. (Remember, Carol believes he has romantic feelings for Connie, even though he told her he didn’t.) And obviously, by extension, bringing Beth back to Daryl would go a long way toward assuaging Carol’s guilt.

But Beth’s return might also lead to some other form of healing for Carol. Such as killing Alpha, which might help her move on as well. And because of Connie bringing Dog back to Daryl in 10x01, I still strongly believe she’ll bring Beth back to him, which means by definition they’ll return together.

Meanwhile, we have that 10:40 (which I now thing points to episode 10x10 clock in 5x07). So if you follow this through in a literal way, Beth learned what medicine would heal Carol in that episode. Perhaps in 10x10, we’ll learn what Carol needs to be healed as well. As I’ve already suggested, it might be a matter of them finding out where Connie and Magna are in that episode.

Now let’s look at the Tom Sawyer template. I’ve done posts about this before, years ago, but if you go back and read them (X, X) they’re very tentative, and from 2016 no less. That’s because I really didn’t feel like I’d nailed down exactly what this is all about.

A recap: in 4x14, The Grove, Carol and the girls discuss that they’d been reading Tom Sawyer at the prison. They say that Carol is like the Widow Douglas. Then in Consumed (see why I’m including this here) we see her with a copy of Tom Sawyer in her bag. Now, that episode is very much about her dealing with Lizzie and Mika, so it makes sense, but it’s also a repeated symbol around Carol.

It hasn’t been mentioned—that we’ve noticed—since then, but @wdway​ remembered something about the story.

Full Disclosure: I’m much more familiar with Huck Finn than with Tom Sawyer, so I probably would never have made this connection. It’s all @wdway. But I’ll mention Huck Finn (as a character) here as well.

So @wdway remembered that in Tom Sawyer, Tom and his sort of girlfriend Beck get lost in a maze-like series of caves at one point. They’re actually presumed dead for a time. They do eventually find their way out and are *not* dead after all.

Given both the death fake out involved and that this symbol has been used around Carol multiple times, and she’s the one who caused Connie and Magna to become trapped…well, that’s quite a coincidence.

All those who believe in TWD coincidences, say I!

*crickets chirping*

Yeah, me neither. But there’s more.

Tom and Becky were in the cave for 3 days. Tom made marks as they tried to get out so they could find their way back. (Think the arrow Jerry found that the Whisperers made.) Tom and Becky are not only hungry but they're also thirsty (also true of our TWD characters). They find a small pool of water and so Tom leaves Becky to rest and goes on to explore a little more. Tom comes across Indian Joe hiding his treasure with a mark of the cross on the wall in order to find it later. Injun Joe is a very interesting character because he neither hears nor speak. (Connie, anyone?) Tom finally sees a bit of daylight down one of the tunnels goes back for Becky and then they claw their way out, meanwhile the townspeople had given them up for dead and so there was a lot of rejoicing when they realized they were alive.

Also, @frangipanilove​ did some research on Mark Twain:

“What I found when I did my research, and remember we don’t have the same relationship with the author over here as you guys do, but apparently Mark Twain was one of many pseudonyms used by that author, and apparently it comes from measuring the depths of the rivers, so as to know when it’s safe for the riverboats to go there. Mark Twain means mark numbers two:

"Mark Twain" (meaning "Mark number two") was a Mississippi River term: the second mark on the line that measured depth signified two fathoms, or twelve feet—safe depth for the steamboat. In 1857, at the age of twenty-one, he became a "cub" steamboat pilot. It was something I thought was interesting because of the 22 necklace, or the 2x2/2x10/10x2/10x10 symbolism we’ve talked about. But other than it being another “2” reference I couldn’t really find any huge smoking gun.”

So the fact that the writers used this as a template ties into her 22 theories, and is also connected with water and boats.

So we have Carol’s arc, her mentality, and even the Tom Sawyer symbol coming back around here. And in both cases, a death fake out, with Connie’s mirroring Beth’s. 

See why this is interesting? In the story, Injun Joe actually ends up dying in the caves. So it will be interesting to see how this plays out. But having this symbol, which involves caves, in S4 and S5 kind of proves that they had this season (10) and Carol’s role in it planned back then. And I know I’m a broken record on this, but if they had THAT planned back then, it sort of proves a lot of things about Beth, does it?

I want to add one more thing that isn’t particularly TD in nature, but it speaks to the Tom Sawyer symbol and Carol and Daryl’s relationship.

When we first heard Carol called the Widow Douglass, it was either Lizzie or Mika that said it. And Carol responded, “Yeah, I’m just like the Widow Douglas.” It was a somewhat sarcastic remark, and understandably. The Widow Douglas really was a kind old granny lady. And we all know Carol has a flawed, badass, often downright homicidal streak that makes her very UN-like the Widow Douglas. But Lizzie’s point (or Mika’s; can’t remember) is that Carol adopted them, just like the Widow adopted Huck Finn.

And that IS one way to see Carol’s arc. She adopts children. She often loses them tragically, but she’s adopted new kids again and again.

But let’s look at Huck Finn from the story. Who is REALLY Huck Finn in TWD world?

Huck Finn (do NOT transpose the first letters of his names ;D) was a wild child. He liked to live on his own in the woods. He knew how to survive. He had a heart of gold, even befriending Jim, which was taboo back then because Jim was a slave and it was still a very racist society. But Huck didn’t care about that. Jim was his best friend and he was loyal to him. And while Huck was kind to the Widow Douglas and often accepted her hospitality, he didn’t want to live with her long term. He didn’t want to be civilized. He’d rather be a wild child and live in the woods.

So, who is Huck Finn really?

It’s Daryl.

So, it’s interesting to me that we saw the Tom Sawyer book in Consumed because they definitely did some establishing of Daryl and Carol’s mother/son relationship in that episode (“Used to be a boy; now you’re a man.”). Carol kind of adopted Daryl, especially after Sophia. So that’s part of the Tom Sawyer template as well. Again, not a very TD thing. Just something I was thinking about.

Or is it? @wdway pointed out some things that actually might make Daryl being Huck Finn a TD thing.

Like Daryl, HF’s father was abusive and used to beat him as a kid (so, a tie in to Daryl’s scars). In the book The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, HF and Jim spend a lot of time on a river raft. It’s a huge symbol and part of the story. And remember that in S9, when Carol and Henry went to find Daryl, he was living on a raft. (So, a water/boat reference.)

She also pointed out that if Daryl is Huck Finn, who is Tom Sawyer? Probably Rick. Tom Sawyer was the more civilized/less wild of the two, and they were BFFs. In the book, Tom got lost in the caves and was presumed dead. Now, obviously that isn’t true of Rick, but he is presumed dead right now. And it occurs to me that Connie might be a stand in for Rick. If her death fake out leads to Beth, well, we think Rick and Beth are in the same place. So it leads to Rick in a roundabout, 6-degrees-of-Rickyl sort of way.

So again, all of this just points to Beth’s imminent return. The circular arcs (wheel) coming back around again. And we think they’ll bring Beth with them.

[drink-n-watch]

  Welcome back one and all. Have you been looking forward to this week’s Demon Slayer? We were right in the middle of a deadly fight after all. Sort of an awkward place to leave things. I know I wanted to see the conclusion. How about you Crow?

Absolutely (I say in bold print)! And — I don’t think is a spoiler or anything — we even get a brief replay of the final moments of the battle. In case we forgot. True to form!

Where are my manners… As always, I will be having the pleasure of discussing this episode with my friend Crow of Crow’s World of Anime and of course all of you! Not that there’s all that much to spoil, but we’re going to go into the episode in some detail, so if you haven’t seen it yet and don’t want to be spoiled, I suggest you tab out for half an hour or so and go watch it, Crow and I will wait. Also, I’m in plain text this week!

Are you proud of me Crow? I finally learned how to put all the proper disclaimers at the beginning of posts!

You can’t hear, but I’m clapping in appreciation. I knew you could do it!

I can hear it in my heart

Episode 9 wasted no time, we were brought straight back to Tanjiro and Yahaba

desperately trying to murder each other. I thought Yahaba was an interesting character, or at least potentially interesting. You know — interesting design, interesting power the creepy calm cryptic type. Triple C! But well, it turns out he was already done for! Were you hoping to see more of him, Crow?

Perceptive question! Yes, I was. There were hints of character richness there, to the point where I expected him to not be dead. It was only when his skull began to actually disintegrate that I figured yep, he’s dying.

awww man, that’s gonna leave a mark

I’m not sure exactly how it works but I’m assuming the water that Tanjiro summons is considered an extension of his blade since it could kill a demon. Did we get an explanation?

Not that I saw, but I agree with your theory. His sword’s water effects must be an extension of the blade, at least insofar as it affects demons. Back in episode 7, we saw his water powers rip the two under water (well, under swamp) demons apart, and they stayed dead. So I guess it’s the same thing?

I thought it was because they were shades maybe?

Despite get summarily dispatched, Yahaba actually managed to put up quite a fight for the few seconds he was still standing (well, less standing and more lying about evaporating…). I quite liked the aftermath. Like isn’t the right word. Seeing Tanjiro barely able to move from exhaustion and injury after his fight, just laying on the ground wheezing, went a long way to drive the impact of the confrontation home. I could almost feel it along with Tanjiro and what I felt was a great deal of relief with a sprinkle of pity and melancholy.

Wasn’t that great? So often, heroes walk away from a battle with a cut or a scrape. Tanjiro got pummeled, and he looked it. Were you impressed by how dedicated he was to getting to the other side of the compound where his sister and new friends were fighting? He took the sword in his teeth because his arms were too tired. Kinda reminded me of Violet Evergarden!

ok!

But of course, that was just half the story. Over on the other side of the grounds, the rest of them were trying to deal with Susamaru. I was a bit confused as to why Tanjiro was so panicked about this. Sure, Susamaru is very strong, but hadn’t they determined that she was weaker than Yahaba? And these were 3 demons she was dealing with. Then I remembered that Neuko was seriously injured, Tamayo seems to be a non-combatant, and my favourite Yushiro just grew back his head. Yeah…there may be some trouble there.

As happy as I was to see Nezuko alive and kicking(ha!) again, I have to say completely healing her off camera like that felt like a cop-out. Not only does it seem that she instantly recovered, but she can now kick those tamari without losing a foot, for… reasons. That’s a bit convenient wouldn’t you say, Crow?

If I had to point to one serious disappointment in this episode, it was that moment. You’re right! And as evidence, remember how Yushiro freaked out in the previous episode when Nezuko even looked like she was going to try to kick the ball? Sure, Tamayo said her serum gave Nezuko a power boost without human blood, but it seemed pretty dang convenient.

Though you’re also right about something else: Their soccer footwork!

just try to get one past me!

I liked that lightening of the mood by turning a battle for survival into soccer practice, it was a cute scene.

It was interesting seeing Susamaru gaining respect for Nezuko’s footwork!

Despite the fact that things seemed to be going quite well, Tamayo was worried. We learned two important facts. 1) Nezuko is gaining strength at a prodigious rate, especially considering she’s never eaten human flesh (allegedly) and 2) Susamaru was quite literally toying with them and Neuko wouldn’t stand a chance against her real strength. And so it was time for a grown-up to step in.

that hir is so perfect

Tamayo has been playing it coy. Standing back and acting very delicate. But she hasn’t survived all this time in defiance of Kibutsuji because she’s anything resembling weak. Her poise, power and words ripped through the unfortunate demon before she could realize what was happening. And those words struck a chord with me as well. Crow, do you think Tamayo was just trying to get under her opponent’s skin or was there some truth to that story of Kibutsuji living in fear? If so, it makes the character even more interesting!

There’s a lot to decompress from that moment, isn’t there? First, Tamayo has really impressed me. What a tragic character who chooses not to wallow in that tragedy but decides instead of fight in her own way to rid the world of a terrible evil. That’s noble stuff! Yes, I think she was trying to get under Susamaru’s skin (and doing an admirable job of it!), but I think there’s some truth to what she was saying. Remember in episode 8 where Kibutsuji was able to shrug off plain rudeness, but lost his temper completely when the poor drunk dude quested his unhealthy appearance? There was something driving that reaction, and I think it might have been an almost paranoid level of fear.

Good point…he did hate being called sick… hhmmm…

he’s afraid of responsibility!

Turns out the blood spell Tamayo was casting activated the Kibutsuji demon cells in Susamaru’s body and essentially destroyed her from within. Visually it was a visceral scene and possibly the most gruesome to date. It’s going to stick with me. And Tamayo calmly explaining that she had never been one of the 12 demon moons because she didn’t have a number on her eyeball, while pointing to sais stray eyeball on the floor, certainly didn’t make it any less gruesome!

[ A question: Was it merely Tamayo’s spell, or was there actually a curse from Kibutuji, where if a demon speaks his name, his cells within them rip them apart? Wasn’t Tamayo’s goal to goad her into speaking the name? I think that’s what I got from Tamayo’s description…]

I do know Kibutsuji’s curse gives him control over those who have his blood ad his cells eventually kill them. Didn’t they mention something about him keeping his identity secret and therefore making it impossible for other demons to give him away. That’s why the teeth grinding guy was so panicked a few episodes ago. I’m guessing that basically extends to speaking his name out loud. That’s how I’m taking it… I guess he is very paranoid!

Crow thought we should take his questions out but it’s good

Was that horrifying and pitiable all at the same time or what? The two demons had been deluded into thinking they were powerful and on the inside with the demon they revered, but nope.

In the end, Susamaru went like all the major demons have gone so far. Small, scared and pathetic. A lost child who ended up and a very wrong path. I understand why they are setting up this moral dilemma, trying to build up sympathy for the demons, but can’t we just have one of them that’s an actual bad guy? At this rate, I’m going to end up having a really difficult time cheering for the Demon Slayer Army.

Tanjiro’s parting words here were the final nail in the coffin (um sorry, poor choice of expression). There is no salvation to be had for demons. Their sins are too great, the burdens upon their souls cannot be lifted. A tragic realization that is sure to make Tanjiro even more eager to find a cure for Nezuko.

how? 

I continue to like Tanjiro’s reactions. His push to understand puts him at odds with most of the other demon slayers we’ve met. At odds with the demons, too. He’s doing his own thing and he’s trying to maintain his core humanity at the same time. Tough balancing act.

You’d think that with those intense battles out of the way and all the useful exposition we got, the episode would be basically over. Nothing left but a quick, sweet wrap up to tie everything together in a nice little bow and send the audience away with a smile on their faces, ready for episode 11. In a way, it did exactly that! But it also did much more.

It was my favourite part of the episode.

Oh! Oh! I’m looking forward to this, because it was my favorite part, too! Go on!

all the cuteness

My two favourite characters are Yoshiro (because I love comedy relief and a proper foil character) and Nezuko (because I’m predictable). They both played important roles in this part. Yoshiro’s various intensely exasperated faces at getting patted on the head by Neuko, or at the horror of potentially taking Nezuko with them, were so much fun to watch. By contrast, the mundanely painful sight of seeing him wasting away from disease brought all the death we’ve been seeing back down to a terrifyingly relatable level.

What Irina didn’t tell you is that Tanjiro joined the other three in the basement after he’d finished with his vigil to watch Susamaru finally turn to ash. As soon as he entered, Nezujo ran to him and threw her arms around his neck. A perfect “awwwww!” moment. Then, she ran back down the hall and did the same thing to Tamayo! Even better, she patted Yushiro on the head! There was almost too much adorable in the room at that point!

awwwww indeed

For her part, Nezuko seems to almost be taking advantage of the suggestion she’s under. Relishing in seeing her family again. Overflowing with love for everyone in the room. Of course, the interesting part is that Tamayo and Yoshiro are not in fact human at all. But she’s decided to see them as such and therefore as part of the family. Which begs the question, how much is imposed suggestion, how much is willful self-delusion?

I really liked that Tanjiro finally addressed the question directly and acknowledged that he was uncomfortable with the situation as well, but that he’s accepted it because it seems that Nezuko has retained her free will. Thank You! That makes me feel so much better for some reason. Now we can all move on!

That free will bit? That was everything. It seemed to me that Nezuko is capapulting her mind off delusion into a greater truth: that Tamayo and Yushiro, by virtue of their choices, are in fact part of her family. It makes them human in the sense of members of the human community. I love that message!

when the lies are so sweet….

Tamayo and Yoshiro will be leaving town out of precaution, and Tamayo invites Neuko to join them, as they will know how to take care of her. Yoshiro is the one to watch in this scene. Despite acknowledging the wisdom of the offer, the siblings decide to stick together and Neuko runs out the door. Just as Tanjiro s about to run after her, Yoshiro calls him back and staying with his back to Tanjiro the entire time, admits that his little sister is a real beauty.

How adorable was that moment?

Very, very adorable! And did you see who drove the decision for them to stay together? Tanjiro wavered. He wants her to be safe as desperately as he wants her to stay beside him! But Nezuko took his hand and gave him a look that spoke volumes. It’s as articulate as I’ve seen her be so far!

that face!

If I remember correctly, Zenitsu was your favourite right Crow? Want to tell us about the closing scene?

Cool — thanks! Zenitsu is among my favorite characters in this series — and the list is growing! But, poor Zenitsu! Tanjiro’s on his way to his next assignment — his Crow being a real pest like only we Crows can be — when both of them stop because they hear this tearful voice. It’s Zenitsu! He’s begging this bewildered and disgusted girl to marry him because he could die at any time!

Zenitsu needs to work on his communication skills…

Where was his birdy?

Few away in embarrassment?

good guess

And another great episode down. Demon slayer has been consistently entertaining and does not seem to be losing momentum at all. I wish Tamayo and Yushiro could have stuck around a bit longer but I bet we’ll see them again. Any closing thoughts?

Isn’t Tanjiro supposed to gather tissue samples for Tamayo? Shouldn’t he have her forwarded address or something? Other than that, I’m still thinking of Tamayo’s tears as Nezuko hugged her!

Previous episode reviews

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 01: Cruelty

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 02: Crow will protect me

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 03: Sabito and Makomo

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 04: Final Selection

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 05: My Own Steel

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 06: A Friend fo All Humans

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 07: Muzan Kibutsuji

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 08: The Smell of Enchanting Blood

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu No Yaiba Episode 09: It’s a Whole New Ballgame

Hooray for more pictures!

  Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba Episode 10 – A Friendly Game of Kickball Welcome back one and all. Have you been looking forward to this week’s Demon Slayer? We were right in the middle of a deadly fight after all.

[nonochuday]

|And Stupidly, Us| 1

Yoongi x reader Part One

PROLOGUE || 1 ||

Genre: Gang!au, action, smut, angst Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Language, sexy coverall Jeon

A/N: Honestly this is wAy overdue and I’m terribly sorry for taking so long but I appreciate all of you that waited for my lazy ass <333 also this has barely been edited so if you find any mistakes or something that doesn’t add up, don’t be afraid to let me know!

Thank you to @boymeetsfiction for always hyping me up, I love you Tam x

"I didn't know it was him, Tae," you could not prevent the scoff from escaping your lips as you watch the man pace back and forth in front of you, "I wasn't given his file, I just got told what to do and was thrown in there."

You wish you were exaggerating, the information given was immaculately brief for someone of your stature. It was expected you'd receive a file, details on the target, what the plan was and who you were working with to ensure it wouldn't fail. At least that's what you should have expected but instead, you were up the creek without a paddle.

Taehyung did not seem too happy about the newfound information either. Since getting back to base, the carob haired man had paced from one side of the room to the other. He mainly talked to himself during his seesaw journey in the room, sometimes pausing to ask you a question which may as well have been rhetorical. How the hell were you supposed to know why you weren't told anything?

"It doesn't make sense," he rubs at his temples as if to massage the answer out of him, "Why would he throw us in the dark like that?"

"I don't know." you repeat through gritted teeth.

Just when you were about to go on another tangent on how little you knew on the subject, the door creaks open behind you as two familiar faces poke through.

“You two are in so much shit,” Jimin pipes as he closes the door behind them, clearly amused by the situation, “I’ll be surprised if he lets you keep all your fingers.”

Jungkook looks up from cleaning the chunk of metal in his hands and shoots you and Taehyung a comforting smile, “You know he's just kidding,” he wipes at a particularly oily spot with the now dirtied rag, “But he did sound pretty upset.”

Yourself and Taehyung glance at each other, brows furrowed and lips pressed firmly against the other in skepticism. Surely, he'd explain why there was no file.

“What has he got to be so upset about? I didn't even know the face of the guy I was stealing from,” a soft scoff drags from your lips.

“Yeah,” Jimin muses, “But you didn't hear him. He didn't sound too happy.”

Jimin had known Yoongi for the longest around here and you would most definitely trust his word when it came to reading the cold and candid Min Yoongi. If Jimin said he was upset, he undoubtedly was. They had this strange friendship you didn't know much about, not that you were particularly interested. You had learned that sticking your nose in business could get you into serious trouble.

Supposing that it would be a terrible idea to be petty about the situation and go against a rising mafia boss, you shut your mouth. It was probably safer that way.

“So then,” your partner intervenes, “He wants to see us, I assume?”

Taehyung had been in this circle of people for a handful of years now, just a few more than yourself. Being his crazed, childish self, he has had his fair share of encounters with Yoongi. Most of them never really being positive reinforcement. He would know what to expect. But you on the other hand, what happens to someone who’s been caught mid-mission?

“Right now, actually,” Jimin answers grimly.

“Now?”

“We're so dead.” Taehyung deadpans, completely giving up on worrying for his life.

“He's not so bad,” Jungkook replied with a slight snicker, “You just need to say the right things.”

“Yeah, but he actually likes you!” Taehyung attempts to argue back.

You observe as Jimin itches to tell your partner to grow up and take his job more seriously, flicking his blond hair away from his eyes as his tongue traces the pillow of his bottom lip in a sarcastic smirk. It was always this way.

Pushing past Jungkook and Jimin with a small sigh, you mentally prepare yourself for your boss’ drilling words. Taehyung and the others followed without a word as you all journeyed to Yoongi’s study in which you would be required

Reaching the end of the hallway, you step into the grand foyer where your boot-clad feet kiss the white tiles. The marble staircase curves its way upwards to the next level of the manor, its wrought iron balustrade curled in an elegant design. Looking at the stairs from below made you realise how quiet the house was. The foyer was the biggest room in the manor and you could usually hear almost every conversation due to the incessant echoes that bounce between the walls. Silence.

A gentle hand found a spot on your right shoulder, “Stay here, I’ll go first,” Jimin forces a smile, “Check on him, you know?”

A meek nod was all you could respond with before you watched the blond ascend the stairs.

Time seemed to move a lot slower while waiting for Jimin to return. You couldn’t help but replay the events in Jung Hoseok’s mansion and how different this talk with your boss would be had the mission been a success. Both you and Taehyung might have gotten a praising, or maybe he would have cut you some slack for a little while. Your thought was interrupted when a blur of black crosses your vision.

“Taehyung, what are you doing?” you whisper-yell as your brows channel together.

“I’m going to see how bad the situation is,” he points with his thumb to the door at the top of the stairs.

“It’s things like this that get you into trouble.”

The carob haired man either didn’t hear you or didn’t like his life enough to care. Instead, he continues up the stairwell.

“Tae, no—” you hiss.

Trekking up the stairs after him in a hurry while trying to make as little noise as possible was harder than it looked. Taehyung may have been on the taller side, but he was definitely vigilant. Much like a fox; sly and quick on his feet. Your partner’s longer legs naturally made it easier for him to take three steps at a time with little to no effort, while you struggled to take a step without its sound resonating through the room. Damn this house and its amplifying everything!

He stops you when you reach the top, a single finger pressing to his lips wordlessly. The door to Yoongi’s study was a mere ten feet away, making listening a little more feasible.

“They’re downstairs right now.” you hear Jimin say.

“Both of them?”

“Yessir.”

The door opens shortly after and out steps Jimin with a blank face. His eyebrows shoot up in surprise at the sight of you and Taehyung, not quite expecting you two to be right outside the door. Surprisingly, he doesn't question as to why you were there.

“He’s asked me to bring you both in,” Jimin scratches at the corner of his lip gently, “He has calmed down a fair bit too. It's kinda scary.”

A pregnant pause hangs over your head before you step in front of the door and timidly grasped the handle. You wait a few seconds before looking back at Taehyung, who looks equally nervous to go in.

The familiar light creek of the office door hinges distracts you long enough to enter the room without having a complete panic attack. You weren’t too sure what to expect. A yelling and raging Min Yoongi was hard to predict on its own, but a calm and monotonous Yoongi was even harder. Jimin said it himself, he had calmed down. From what the blond described in the common room, Yoongi was a furious mess. Who knows what he’d do to you?

Taehyung closes the door behind him with a soft click and joins your side where you wait for Yoongi to speak. Yoongi was where he always is, at his desk, and he had yet to look up from the pages he was scribbling on. His raven hair lightly curtains his eyes and you could tell he was lost in his work. Did he even hear you come in?

“Taehyung. Y/N,” Yoongi places his pen on the wooden desktop and lazily meets your gaze, “What a pleasant surprise.”

Now, you weren’t certain, but something was telling you this wasn’t going to be pleasant at all.

Jimin was right, he was calm. Unusually so. You wanted to explain what happened, explain how your task was a failure and why you were caught, but your tongue was tied, stuck in your throat in fear of speaking out of turn and being scolded. If you said the wrong thing you could be dead.

“I’m well aware of what has happened tonight.”

“Sir,” Taehyung tries but was cut off when pale fingers raise themselves in a halt.

Yoongi stands up from his place behind the desk and maneuvers around his chair before taking slow steps in your direction. He refastens the singular button in the middle of his blazer and you notice his eyes training in on your partner. Taehyung must have noticed too because he looked as if he had a metal rod shoved up his backside.

“I can’t say that I’m too happy to hear it either. What happened?”

Your throat tightens at his question, “Well...Everything was going fine at first, we breached and disabled his security border within a matter of minutes, then we got in, and it was like nobody was there,” you steal a glance at the boy next to you, “Taehyung and I decided we’d split and check different wings of the property. We found nothing.”

Yoongi’s face appeared indifferent, almost like he didn’t believe what you were telling him. What you wouldn’t give to know what he was thinking. “You were caught.” he put bluntly.

There it is. You knew what had happened, what your mistake was, but hearing it out loud made the chagrin you felt multiply to the thousands. The bitter taste of failure lingered on your tongue as he waited for you to further elucidate the situation from only hours ago.

While Taehyung was busy touching up on his side of the story, your thoughts occupied you. As much as you felt of a disappointment, the fact that you had been kept in the dark regarding knowing about your target had your teeth grinding into nothing. Not only did not briefing the file complicate things, it made it much harder for when you got caught. The question was: is it wise to speak up about it?

“You had the simple task of retrieving something of mine. I can’t fathom how that could be so difficult for you both.” Yoongi rasps, his voice laced with irk.

It could have been easier.

“Sir, in all honesty, it’s not all that bad,” Taehyung said, “Yes, we made the mistake of getting caught, but we got in just fine and we were able to escape safely. Besides, we have the money back in our possession.”

Yoongi didn’t seem happy at all with your partner’s reasoning and frankly, neither were you. You could understand where he was coming from, but you didn’t think it was the best approach for this type of conversation; one that may or may not hold your lives. He could get himself into a huge amount of trouble, and you’d sooner walk through the fiery pits of hell before you backtalk Min Yoongi, or let Taehyung drag you down with him.

“It was careless.”

“A careless mistake, yes.”

“You’re honestly trying to tell me that this whole thing isn’t a problem?” Yoongi scoffs and lets out what seemed like a chuckle, but it couldn’t have been because Min Yoongi does not chuckle.

Taehyung only nods with a blank look on his face, as if that would be enough to get his argument across. “And what of Jung Hoseok, how was he handled?”

“He’s been taken care of. We did everything you asked.” your carob haired partner ensured.

Except Yoongi wasn’t happy to hear that. Far from it. His eyebrows shoot up to his hairline and his mouth opens a fraction, uncharacteristically. “The one thing I asked was to have you not kill him!” he hisses through his teeth.

Taehyung waves his hands in front of him dismissively, “N-no, he’s not dead. I didn’t mean it like that. We left him tied to the leg of his pool table.”

“So he’s alive, then. You’re fucking idiots. Both of you.” his eyes flicker between you and Taehyung. Before either of you get a chance to open your mouths and ask why he was interrupting, “It’s been a few hours since you’ve both returned. Let’s say he’s summoned a little help, he has this place surrounded, and we’re not the least bit prepared for it. You’ve killed us all here.”

That definitely shut you both up.

“So forgive me Kim Taehyung, for not seeing this through your eyes, or understanding as to why this is not at all a problem. Now get the fuck out of my office.”

You didn’t dare blink or open your mouth as you listen to the newly chastised boy retreat out the door behind you. He knew better than to speak up anymore. Releasing a breath you didn’t know you were holding, your eyes drift over to the intimidating figure of Yoongi, who was already looking at you with an unreadable expression. Was he mad at you? He had to be. There was no way he would be civil with you after lashing out at Taehyung like that.

Yoongi’s rigid figure paces back to his desk where he pages for Jimin, “Jimin, I’ve sent Taehyung down, keep him with you until I get back to you with further instructions.” The blonds anodic voice was heard seconds later with a firm yessir.

Yoongi heaves a fatigued sigh and leans his hip against the desk's frame, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing his eyes tiredly. When he finally looks up, he just resembled an average exhausted man, not some power-hungry, gun-wielding gangster. However, his next words wipe that image right out of your head:

“He’s lucky I don’t kill him.”

And he was right.

But you'll be damned if you don't find out why you were sent out there with minimal knowledge on Mr. Jung Hoseok. It was bold, and frankly, foolish, of you to even think of asking let alone actually speak out. But you had to know. Yoongi owes you that much, at least.

“There is some truth to what Taehyung said.”

Yoongi’s face doesn't flinch when the words reach his ears. Instead, remains silent with a passive expression while waiting for you to continue.

“About the mission, I mean,” your eyes flick up to meet his cold ones, “I believe we did well enough, given the unfortunate circumstances.”

“Circumstances?” he cocks his head ever so slightly with a hint of a smirk painted over his lips, his eyes never leaving yours, “Pray tell.”

You would definitely feel more confident if he wasn't staring at you like he was going to impulsively draw out his gun and spray you all over his office walls like they do in the movies. His unmoving eyes send a chilling tingle up your spine and rattle your bones to the core.

He was totally unpredictable and that's what scares you the most.

“I want to know why I was kept in the dark,” you swallow the lump in your throat, “We both know how much easier it could have gone if we followed standard procedures.”

Yoongi remains unresponsive.

“Why wasn't I given a file? A briefing?” you finally ask. Now all you had to do was dodge whatever he was likely to throw at you.

The ebony haired man pushes himself off from where he was resting on the desk’s edge, hands burying into the navy pockets of his slacks. Yoongi uncurls his arms at his chest and makes his way over to you slowly.

It was a fair assumption that you wouldn't like whatever was about come out from his mouth. Maybe he just did it for the hell of it, maybe a test? It was also possible he was trying to get rid of you. That answer you definitely didn't want. You could not for the life of you think of why he would do such a thing. What had you done wrong?

Yoongi didn't stop until his polished shoes almost touched yours. Damn, he was even more intimidating up close. He's not that much taller than you, only enough that you need to slant your head a little. Yoongi's russet brown eyes bore holes into your own irises and you have to swallow back your nerves before you shit yourself in front of your boss. He's quiet for a few seconds in a way in which only Yoongi could make unbearable.

“You shouldn't need a file.” he murmurs, his voice laced with a cold undertone.

What the hell was that supposed to mean?

The look on your face must have conveyed the unspoken question because he was speaking again, “You’ve been with me for a handful of years now, yes? Four?”

“Almost six.” you correct him.

“Right. So, in that time, you’ve done fairly well for yourself. You’ve had your fair share of tasks to fulfill at quite a high expectation and come through nicely. I don’t need to worry about you so much, I know you can take care of yourself.”

This was just about as convincing as someone who’s trying to tell you strawberries are blue. Yoongi’s words almost always had valid points to them but this just made it sounds like it wasn’t a big deal to him. It must be his way of trying to get rid of you, to sugarcoat it before dropping the bomb. It’s the only thing that makes sense in your head.

Yoongi continues to rattle nonsense about how impressed he was with your work performance and how he trusts you, then switches to another tactic on how to let you down gently.

“So don't you think you're capable of doing it on your own? Without my aid?” he asked.

Honestly, the words couldn't form in your mouth. What were you supposed to say to that? That you were okay with the sudden change and that he told you no word about it?

You stare down at the space between your feet, “I had in my head that you were trying to get rid of me,” you mutter loud enough for him to hear, “That I’d done something not up to par with your expectations and this was the easiest way to have me disappear if I failed.”

As inconspicuously as possible, you peek at Yoongi from under your lashes. His face was about as readable as a book written upside down in coded Chinese with invisible ink. Yoongi notices your concern and withdraws the hardened fashion painted across his face. He relaxes his shoulders and takes a step back from where he was almost pressed against you. Slowly, as if moving too quickly would alter his mood, you lift your eyes to meet his.

“I wasn’t trying to rid myself of you,” he doesn’t even blink, and that’s how you know he’s telling the truth, “think of it more like a test; I wanted to see how you would go without my help. And you failed. I wanted you to be confident, sure of yourself even when you didn’t know who Jung Hoseok was, but all I got was a lost kid in a grocery store.

“And that’s just it, you’re not a kid anymore. You should be able to, I expect you to handle yourself in such situations. It was quite disappointing I must say,” he presses his lips into a firm line, “But I’ve figured a way around this, then after we'll go back to the original contrivance of scrapping the briefing. You'll still be told who your target is, I'll just expect you to problem solve as you go.” Yoongi assures you.

The first thing you grasped from his little monologue was that he wasn't going to kill you, or trying to either. He’s also disappointed you handled the situation wrong by leaving Jung Hoseok unmonitored, but it was a guinea pig test of some sort to see how you would act with the pre-briefing abandoned. Your head was spinning with all this newly acquired information. You got your answers but it still feels like there was no explanation.

“So...You’ve figured out, what exactly?” you ask.

“You’re going to touch up on some things,” Yoongi answers, “For the next couple of weeks or so. ‘On probation’, for the lack of a better term.” he shrugs nonchalantly.

“You’re sending me on another mission to guinea pig?”

“No. Attending mandatory specialised classes was more of what I had in mind.” he pivots and takes a seat back at his desk. You tried your best to keep up with everything he was dishing out at you, but apparently, you picked today of all days to struggle comprehending basic conversion. The next few moments flew by and soon Yoongi was kicking you out and sending you downstairs.

Taking a seat on the bottom step, the entire night's events came crashing down around you and it wasn't until then you realised how late it was. The muscles in your neck strained and your eyelids felt heavy. You were exhausted all over. Tonight in the office took at least ten years off your lifespan.

The quiet time to yourself was abruptly cut short when Jungkook steps into the threshold. He gives you a tight smile, almost like he knows how dog-tired you are. He doesn't say a word, giving you a moment to breathe before jerking his head back in the direction he came from. Reluctantly, you stretch out the kinks in your neck and follow him with a sigh.

Jungkook took you into the manor’s garage where he spent most of his time fixing vehicles and tinkering. It was practically his home, after all, you never really see him ever leave it. Jungkook’s usual coverall attire is almost always covered in grimy oil from the machine parts he plays with all day.

He was no different even at half past three in the morning. You wonder if this boy ever sleeps.

“Wow, she's alive.” Jimin mocks with a crooked, sympathetic smile and all you could do was laugh back bitterly. Jimin and Jungkook watch as you splay out on the old leather couch that has seen better days, your eyes automatically closing at the comfort.

“What happened up there?” Jungkook inquires after a pause.

You contemplated ignoring him and pretending you were asleep, only because you were exhausted at the thought of being on probation and how different the next couple of weeks would be, but Jungkook was kind to you, and both Jimin and himself would have been waiting apprehensively while you and Taehyung  possibly get the life chewed out of you. Hopefully, this wouldn’t take too long and you could go to bed.

“Where’s Tae?” you know he was sent down for Jimin to collect but you couldn’t see him.

“Over in the corner sobbing,” Jungkook points with his chin to the workshop bench along the wall. Taehyung was crouched on the concrete floor, his eyes glisten with a dew and they look distant, like he was in another world. You have a pretty good idea what this was about. “He had a lecture and has to remain by Jimin for a little while to ‘learn how to behave’.” he air quotes.

Ah, that makes sense.

“Right, well...it didn't go at all as I expected,” you sit up on the couch, “He wasn't mad like I thought he would be, at least not for the reasons I prepared for.  We talked about what happened tonight and how it how it happened, what went wrong etcetera,” you tell them, “But what he was most upset about was that I couldn’t be trusted to handle the situation on my own. He was more disappointed.”

Jimin and Jungkook listen intently without interrupting you with further questions. You didn’t notice while you were lost telling the story but on a few occasions, they exchange subtle glances at one another, wordlessly trying to figure out Yoongi and his possible motives while they listen to your encounter with their boss.

“He wasn’t happy with the way Taehyung and I handled the Jung case. Apparently, it was a rookie mistake the way we left him, although he wouldn’t have us kill him, which is odd. Yoongi also told me he was going to abandon the whole pre rundown before we go out, that’s what he was taking a shot at, at least.” you mutter, “So now I’ve screwed that up for him because I'm too amateur for him and he expects better.”

You couldn't have sounded more bitter if you tried.

“This is all just so unnecessary to me. He should have just told me and I would have learned.”

Jungkook clicks his tongue, “So what's the verdict?”

“I have to do mandatory classes, something about learning skills again.” you roll your eyes and huff out a humourless laugh.

“With who?” he furrows his eyebrows.

“With you.”

[skylandmountain1013]

Moon Phases: An Agents of Shield Story

If someone would have said I would be dusting off my Tumblr after a year due to an inexplicable need to write Agents of Shield fanfic... I probably would have laughed in their face. 

And yet- here we are!

Title: Moon Phases

Summary: Twice he’s considered grabbing Mack’s shotgun axe, taking Lola to Radcliffe’s last known whereabouts and shooting his way to answers. Gravity has enough of a hold on him that he knows it’ll do no good.

Warnings: There’s a few NSFW words. Nothing else. 

Season 4. Philinda. LMD arc. Post 4X12. There be angst ahoy. As always, shout out to @katieannwrites for listening to my ramblings even when she doesn’t watch this show. 

He feels like he is moving faster than the rest of the world. He hates the in between. In between missions. In between life and death. He thinks if he is not careful, he may careen out of the Earth’s orbit. 

They know what the next step is. Aida. Aida leads to Radcliffe, Radcliffe leads to May.

It has been two days and there is no sign of her. No first step to take.

Twice he’s considered grabbing Mack’s shotgun axe, taking Lola to Radcliffe’s last known whereabouts and shooting his way to answers. Gravity has enough of a hold on him that he knows it’ll do no good.

So he spins. Between briefings he paces the halls, his mind replaying the same sequence over and over. Awe to confusion to shock to anger.

He always ends up in the same spot- next to the LMD he couldn’t burn.

It’s stupid—he knows—to hold a vigil for a machine. But he thinks maybe, if he spends enough time, May will sense his presence.

He doesn’t think the technology works like that. But then again, he’s not sure how anything fucking works right now.

--------------

“Sir?”

His back screams at him as he tries to focus on his surroundings. He doesn’t remember falling asleep. Simmons is standing over him, giving a wary eye to the lifeless body on the gurney next to him.

“Are you alright?”

He rubs the grit out of his eyes and tries to command his knees to work. He’s getting too old for all of this.

“Yeah-“ he manages. He fumbles for an excuse—anything besides my partner is missing and has been replaced with a robot and no one has the slightest fucking idea how to find her so sitting here just seemed like the best thing to do. 

He tries weakly, “I figured someone needed to be on killer robot watch.”

Simmons brightens instinctively, happy to have an answer for him. “Oh! Fitz disabled the controller and power up mechanism. No LMDs are being powered up here without quite the mechanical intervention.”

“Well. Okay then.”

He watches the comprehension dawn on her face. “That’s not why you’re here.”

“No.” He’s too tired to lie.

Simmons musters all the positivity she can. “We are going to find her, sir. I know it.”

There’s a pillow and a blanket there later that night, and a cup of coffee waiting in the morning.

----------

Coulson paces the lab, picks up files, puts them down.

Fitz doesn’t say much to him.

He’s not sure what he wants to hear. But it would be nice if someone actually talked. Three days and everyone is still moving in slow motion. He fiddles with a switch. He’d rather not think about where it came from.

Fitz breaks the silence. “I don’t think she’s hurt. The real May. Not the.. not May.”

He puts the machinery down and gives the younger man his full attention.

He continues. “The program was made for training purposes. Controlled environment. She may feel pain, but there’s no actual damage being sustained.” 

“Comforting.”

When he speaks again, Fitz is much quieter. “This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. The LMD program was intended to save Agents. Keep our friends out of harms way.” He buries his head in his hands.

“This wasn’t you. You didn’t do this.”

“Yeah,” he sniffs, and shakes his head to regain composure. “Jemma said I’m supposed to ask you if you’ve eaten today.”

“I’m fine.”

Fitz nods and turns back to his computer.

------

“That shouldn’t be here.”

He looks up from another set of dead end leads to see Mack leaning against the doorframe. He nods towards the gurney. “It should be with the rest. Nothing but ashes.”

“Not an option.” Coulson reflexively shifts to block the LMD. He knows he should separate them in his brain. This is not May. It will never be May.

He is not there yet.

Mack moves closer. “No good can come of keeping it here. If someone powers it back on, there’s no telling what programming might be uploaded by Radcliffe.” He pulls the sheet over the machine’s face.

“That’s enough, Agent Mackenzie.” He forces himself to breathe, to stay calm. He hears May in his head, telling him to stay the course. “No one is going to power her back on.”

“She? This is a machine, Coulson. A robot. We don’t know where Agent May is. She could be-“

“I said that’s ENOUGH!” He snaps. He doesn’t realize it until he’s got Mack pinned against the wall, one hand on his chest and his robotic one squeezing the brick behind him so hard it begins to crumble.

The larger man doesn’t flinch, and it brings Coulson back to reality.  He drops immediately and takes a step back. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.” 

“It’s alright.” Mack moves past him, placing a hand on his shoulder as he does.

Coulson goes to pick up the files strewn about the hallway. He doesn’t move the sheet.

-------------

Daisy slides down beside him and offers a bottle. “Friday. Drinks on me.”

The beer tastes good and feels even better. There’s a hard aftertaste of guilt though. He doesn’t think he deserves any pleasure—no matter how small—after the events of the week.

“You know she’s going to kick your ass when she finds out how mopey you were through this whole thing.”

He gives a mirthless laugh and takes another swig. “May doesn’t need an excuse to kick my ass.”

“So, how long has it been?”

He closes his eyes and rests his head against the wall. He’s gotten good at giving this speech—God knows he’s had to do it more in the last week than he has in the past decade. “It’s not what you think. A member of the team has gone missing and proper protocol is to exhaust all avenues to-“

“Simmons says you’ve been sleeping here. On the floor.”

“-anyone would do the same for any member of this team.”

“Coulson.” She knocks him on the knee with her empty bottle to break his pattern.

He sighs and turns her way. “Fifteen years? Give or take a few months?”

If Daisy is surprised, she doesn’t show it. He doesn’t think she is surprised.

"I kissed her, you know. I had no idea."

Her eyes go wide. "No. When?"

"About 5 seconds before she pulled a gun on me and professed her loyalty to our robot overlords." He forces the remainder of the beer down and tosses the bottle across the hall. It lands next to the trashcan with a defiant thud.

"Wow. That's going to be one hell of a conversation."

"You're telling me."

They both get quiet. He can’t get the machine’s words out of his head- that her feelings and desires were May’s feelings and desires. He thinks he would like to believe that. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to think.

“When I was in the 4th grade,” he starts, “my teacher made us all get up, and spin around in circles as fast as we could for 30 seconds. When we all managed to sit back down, she told us how that’s what it would be like if the moon went away. The Earth’s rotation would speed up just enough to prevent life from going on as normal. And you maybe wouldn’t notice at first. But eventually it would all catch up to you.”

“That’s quite the hands on science approach.”

He looks at an indeterminate point on the wall. “I have no idea why that popped into my head just now.”

Daisy shifts so their shoulders are touching. He welcomes the camaraderie. “The moon can’t exist without the Earth and the Earth can’t exist without the moon.”

He wishes he had another beer. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“You’re going to save her.”

They sit quietly through the night.