#all i know is that i don't want her to be with brady

[two-braincells-in-total]

SPOILERS FOR THE GRANDEST GAME!!!!

This is a Brady hate post, because what I said in my review of the book is not enough to express my feelings about him

Looking back, he was acting much older than he was and treated Gigi like a child, despite being only 3 years older than her, which makes the "relationship" weird. And he touched her stomach like that? Even when I liked him, I still found it weird. Knox's reaction was amazing though "She's 18 and I'm 25, I can't see anything"

He kinda took advantage of her skills, she solved most of the puzzle but he still had no hesitation to accept the second chance, even when he barely did anything the entire game. I want to point out how Odette, who we know notices everything, probably saw that Gigi deserved the chance the most and offered it to her first. And even though I think she should've accepted, because she deserves it, I still love how she knew that she didn't earn it like the other teams and denied. That's fair play over here, which is something Brady didn't do, because he actually wasn't even good enough to deserve to stay in the game, he wouldn't have made it without relying on Gigi, therefore kind of cheated his way back in.

He shamelessly lied to Knox and Gigi about his mom being sick to manipulate them in a way, especially Gigi, who took it upon herself to carry them through the game because of this and OFFERED HELP EVEN IF SHE DIDN'T WIN! That's a good person over here!

He also told Knox about their mentor and father figure's death out of the blue? Imagine the shock in Knox, like wtf was that announcement?

PLAYING WITH GIGI'S FEELINGS!!! He got her into him, told her all the things she wanted to hear, just to drop the bomb that it was all a lie? And that he's still in love with Calla? That was such an asshole move of him and I know for a fact that it worsened Gigi's insecurities about not being enough, not having anyone to love her and being too much even more! He was too good to be true and I hate how I fell for his lies along with her

Some of this might be over exaggerated and maybe I'm too blinded by the betrayal but I don't care! I hope he doesn't have a redemption arc and that she doesn't actually end up with him, because he sucks so much that I somehow ended up rooting for the kidnapper. If you know one thing about me, I DESPISE the kidnapper x kidnapped trope and any dark romance trope in general, which shows how low I'm getting for the sake of my girl's happiness and how low Brady set my standards.

[smuttyazrael]

Could we get a pregnant reader wolf pack one shot?

First Wolf Baby

Word count: 1,745

Summary: Paul and you are married and having a baby. You don't know if it's Sam's or Paul's all you know is the wolf pack is here to help you go into labour.

Warnings: Pregnancy kink, Birthing Kink, Cum kink, Anal, oral, sex, breeding kink.

You're walking around yours and Paul's place it's years ago since you and him got together and he imprinted on you. You have been helping the pack out for years. You think the baby is Sam's, but you aren't sure. There is a chance it's Pauls. But both have been sharing you, your whole pregnancy. You're 8 months pregnant and overdue. The doctor said sex will help. Paul mentioned it to Sam. Now, everyone is coming over tonight, and you're waddling around trying to make sure there is enough food. You have Paul chopping this and that and the other thing.

Sam arrives and comes up behind you placing his hands on your hips. He kisses the side of your neck where your shoulder meets. You tilt your head to the side presenting your neck to him with a moan, your eyes slipping shut. His hands grab your tits and massage them a bit. Only in t-shirt crop top that barely fits. The bottoms of your tits are out for the world to see. You're wearing a black skirt because Sam asked it of you.

"Good girl." He growls into your neck. You moan again your hands going to grab on to hold Sam's head in place. He grabs the spoon you're stirring the sauce with, so it doesn't drop into the pot when you let go of it in pleasure.

"Go sit. Paul and I will finish." he orders.

You feel your thighs get slick as you sit down. He chuckles knowing his alpha voice still effects you to this day. The pack comes in. Jared sits next to you. He pushes your legs open and his hand pushes up your skirt. He pushes his fingers into your dripping pussy. He nuzzles your tits with his face, licking your nipples through your shirt. He decides to suck on them making your nipples pebble and the top go see through. The whole pack can see your hard nipples when Jared pulls back.

Sam calls dinner and sits down beside you. He feeds you little bites of spaghetti. You unable to eat too much due to the baby. Paul sits down on your other side. Sam and Paul both pulling your thighs open to show your dripping pussy to Quil, Brady and Collin, who are sitting in front of you.

Paul slips three fingers into your pussy thrusting them in and out. You moan while Sam is feeding you. He kisses you in between bites swallowing some of your moans.

"What were you showing my last week? Emily doesn't want you kids?" Jared asks confused. He is eating while fluffing his hard cock.

"She doesn't want any children. Something about not losing her figure. I was thinking with Y/N pregnant she will want her own but no it has turned her further off." Sam tells him.

His throbbing erection pushing against his cut offs. He is ignoring it feeding both you and him. His instincts as an alpha to make sure the pup is fed.

"So, how are you going to satisfy the wolves desire to have children?" Embry asks.

"Y/N will carry my baby of course. The good little slut loves being pregnant." You cum squirting all over Paul's wrist hearing that your a good slut. Paul just chuckles sneaking a kiss in between Sam and food bites.

"You're going to let Paul raise your kids as his own?" Quil asks surprised.

"No, they will know they are my kids. I will be there to help raise them." Sam growls out at the thought of someone else claiming his pups.

"So, what are we all doing here?" Collin asks jerking Brady's cock off while Brady does the same for him.

"Leah not here?" Brady asks.

"No, she's at work." Seth replies thrusting his hips into his fist which is surrounding his cock.

"Y/N's doctor mentioned how sex is going to help her go into labour." Paul says with a smirk.

The pack shovels thier food in thier mouth faster and they go clean thier plates and at least one more dish. They also put them away to help Y/N out.

Jake walks back in with his cock already out and him rubbing it slowly. He goes to slip it into your mouth and Sam growls at him. Sam feeds you your last bite. You chew and swallow it. He rubs his tumb right at the corner of your lips cleaning off some sauce licking off the sauce off his thumb he nods to Jake.

"Now, you can go." He says.

He gets up as all the wolves are jerking either themselves or other wolves off, making a mess of the room. He knows a least one of the wolves will clean it when they are all done. He washes his plate and heads back into the room. He see's Paul in your ass while your begging for someone to fill your pussy and Jake in your mouth. You're in between them on your hands and knees, trying to keep from colapsing on to your belly. They boys both kneeling in front and behind you. Sam slips under you holding you, so the baby doesn't get hurt. He lifts you on to his cock. You moan as your pussy slides on to his cock.

"Just as tight as the first time I took you." Sam moans into your ear.

All three thrusting together. You're completely lost in the lust. Licking and swallowing around Jake to get his cum. You are desperate for it.

"Bella!!!" He yells out.

"What the fuck?!" Embry asks him pissed off.

"That's Y/N. You know that one who sucked your dick all throughout high school because you didn't want to lose your v card to anyone but Bella. Fuck, I should rail you again for that." Jared spits out pissed off. He picks Jake up from his kneeling position and drags him to the door, shoving him out.

Jared takes Jakes old spot caressing your cheek. Telling you that you're better then Bella. That Jake's an idoit. Not that you hear him really. Hearing that you're a good girl is the only thing penetrating your fog. Paul and Sam finally cum filling you up when you do squeezing them within an inch of thier lives. You screaming out. Them both groaning.

They swap out with Embry and Quil. They take a turn. Sam orders them to be careful with the baby. Embry goes into your pussy caressing your belly. All three boys cum and before long they swap with Brady, Collin and Seth.

Seth takes your pussy while, Brady and Collin take your ass and mouth. They switch positions though. Seth sits down and you strattle his lap. Brady is sitting on his knees behind you while Collin is standing over Seth feeding you his cock.

Before too long Brady reaches around pushing his finger into Collin's ass. He taps his prostate and Collin moans out.

"I'm going to cum!" He cries out after a few taps. After the fifth or sixth he explodes into your mouth. You cum squeezing the other two boy cum out of thier cocks as you swallow down Collin's

They lift you up off of them. Sam helps out leading you to his lap on the couch massaging your legs all of a sudden you feel a gush. Sam looks surprised that you soaked him. He studis you face and rubs your belly. He feels the tightness and orders Paul to grab your go bag.

"She's in labour we need to go to Sue's clinic." Sam orders. He carries you to the car and Paul hands him a pair of sweats to put on. paul helps him into it pulling them up. He jerks his cock once while pulling it up. "You boys better have this place clean by the time we get back." Sam tosses the order over his shoulder on his way to his truck.

Sam and Paul both tugging on thier erections in the truck on thier way to the clinic. They arrive as you feel the tightness across you belly but not the pain.

You get sent to a room right away the boys pulling thier cocks over the bands of thier sweats so they are sticking out in front of them. Jerking them and rubbing them against every surface they can leaving a slimy trial of pre fuck behind.

Sue comes in. "Time already?" Sue asks ignoring Sam who is humping the side of the bed trying to be somewhat subtle and Paul who is blatently jerking off.

"Yeah, but why am I not in pain?" You ask her.

"Were you having sex with a wolf when you went into labour?" Sue asks. Sam laughs. Sue levels a look at Sam.

"She was fucking all the wolves." Sam says still leaving a slimy trial on the side of the bed as he thrusts against it.

"Ahh, that would do it. You will feel the urge to push when it's time." Sue tells her.

"I feel it now." You say gritting your teeth trying to hold back.

"Your baby is ready to come out now. So boys hold he legs up. She's going to push when the urge hits her." Sue tells them.

They boys take hold of one thigh each with one hand the other jerking their cocks.

You bear down next time the urge to push hits you. Sam and Paul both moan out loud. Finally the head is out and Paul cums on to you soaking your thigh, top of your pussy and he even got some on the babies head. You keep pushing and finally the baby is out. Paul pulls his sweats back out and follows Sue who has your son.

"Next, generation of wolves, baby girl. What a good girl." Sam says still jerking it. He aims his cock and shoots all over your pussy and ass. "This will help you heal." He says rubbing it in. Sue comes back in.

"A healthy baby boy. I checked, and he is Pauls. Sex with the wolves will help you heal faster." Sue says. Before she can get the full sentence out, Sam is thrusting hard into you. He leans over and whispers into your ear with a growl. "Next baby will be mine and you better be ready because I will fuck you multiple times a day until you are pregnant." Your pussy tightens and you both cum.

[reiderwriter]

hi i love your writing

could you do something with reid loving that reader is pregnant. fluff or smut or both

A/N Hello! Thanks for the request! Dad!Spencer is the cutest thing on the planet so this is some unapologetic fluff. And now I have baby fever.

Warnings: mentions of pregnancy, idiots in love. Loosely based on Haley and Hotch's conversation in 1x1. Very fluffy and probably very cheesy and sentimental too... Sorry, you give me girl dad Spencer and suddenly there isn't an impure thought in my head, I just want to lovingly stare at him like I'm the dead wife in an action movie montage.

My requests are open, check out my masterlist for more 🌸

“Okay, what about Amelia?”

“No, Amelia Dyer, Victorian serial killer. She killed multiple infants over a thirty-year period.”

“Okay, okay, how about, Myra?”

“Myra Hindley, she and her partner Ian Brady abducted and killed five children and teens in the early sixties.”

“God, not that then. There can’t be a psychopathic murderer called Belle, right?”

“You’re making this too easy for me, y’know. Belle Gunness, Hell’s Belle, she’s one of the most prolific female serial killers of all time, even 100 years after her supposed death. It’s fascinating, you know, people think that she actually faked her death - when the doctor who performed the postmortem testified, he noted that the cadaver was about five inches shorter and about fifty pounds lighter than Gunness supposedly was….” You raise a single eyebrow at your wonderful husband, and he immediately shuts up.

“I’m rambling aren’t I?” He smiled down at you as you sat curled up as much as you could in your favorite spot on the couch, the cosiest part of your shared apartment. You smiled back up at him as he leaned down for a kiss and you gladly craned your neck up in response, meeting his lips for a sweet moment.

“Hotch was right you know,” you joked when the two of you parted. “All of the best baby names have been taken by serial killers.”

“Yeah, you’d think with the ratio of female to male serial killers, a girl would be easier to name.” He leans down to kiss you again before falling into a crouch next to you, resting his head on your shoulder and placing his hand on your stomach.

“How big did you say our little girl is now?”

“Y/N, you asked me that half an hour ago. I know pregnancy messes with your brain a bit, but if you’re that bad we’re going to have to get you back to Dr Patel and see if you’re doing okay.” He was joking of course, but you showed him your little pout anyway, knowing that he loved seeing the silly expression on your face.

“Humor me, Doctor.” He strokes your stomach and moves away, but not too far away, taking up right next to you on the couch, and pulling your legs over his lap.

“At five months, she’s roughly 10 inches long with a weight of about 0.5-1 pound. But that ‘How Big is My Baby’ book would say that she’s roughly one banana in length.” You giggled up at him and he grabbed your hand and just held it, content to have you in his arms in any way, big or small.

“I can’t believe it’s been five months already,” you giggle as he presses another kiss to your hand.

“I get it. It doesn’t feel quite real yet to me, either. I thought for so long that fatherhood just wasn’t in my future, but you’re the gift that keeps on giving I guess. I don't know what I did to deserve you.” Even if the words weren’t so sweet, with all of the hormones, you would’ve started crying at anything. Or at least that’s what you’re going to tell him when he sees the small tears threatening to drop into enormous loving sobs.

“Spencer Reid, I am not a gift. I am simply the woman with the correct combination of sense and foolish luck that got to marry you.” He’d done this before, and you were used to his small habit of self-deprecating talk, but after a year of marriage and three years of dating before that, you’d managed to work him down to the occasional comment.

“Don’t try to argue about this, I’m definitely the one benefitting the most from the situation right now,” he joked with you, and you could see the genuine adoration shining from behind his eyes. It was a little spark that not many got to see, a glimpse of true happiness in someone usually so reserved.

“Spencer, you’ve given me foot rubs everyday this week, you’ve read more pregnancy and parenting books than every OBGYN and midwife in the area combined, and you’ve somehow attended more of my clinical check-ups than me, and I’m the one whose pregnant.”

“And you’re growing our child inside of you, which is itself more impressive than anything I could ever do with a book and some modern acts of chivalry.”

“Yeah, tell your boss that. I think the only thing keeping Emily from pulling her hair out over your constant absences is that she thinks she’s competing for the title of godmother. She thinks Penelope and JJ are trying to corrupt me with parenting advice and all those baby clothes Pen keeps bringing over.”

“She’s going to be crushed when she remembers we’re not religious, right?”

“Devastated,” the two of you shared a laugh on the couch, and it quickly devolved into a giggle fit after Spencer leaned over and tickled your side. You jolted away from his touch, but he was on you again, attacking your sides with small caresses, and you were gasping for breath between laughs.

“Spence stop- ahh!” Your squeals stopped as you cried out in shock. It was small but you felt something tap against your stomach. Spencer stopped immediately upon seeing your expression change, and a serious look settled on him as he assessed you for any damage.

“What’s wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you in pain anywhere, is the baby okay?” He shot out the questions rapidly, one after the other, barely leaving space to catch his own breath from the laughter of earlier.

It happened again and you put a hand to your stomach, finally realising what’s going on.

“I think I just felt her kick. Spencer, I think I just felt the baby kick.” You couldn’t help the wide grin that spread across your face, as much as you couldn’t help the tear that dropped from your eye as your hand rested against your belly again, scared to move for fear that the baby wouldn’t communicate with you again.

“What? Now? Can I- Can I try and feel it, too?” His hands hesitated at first but when you enthusiastically nodded and used your other hand to put him close to yours, you could feel his eagerness to feel the small kicks of your daughter as well.

Almost as if she was waiting for him, as soon as his hand was in the right position, your little girl kicked again, almost as if screaming “I’m here mommy and daddy,” for the two of you to hear.

“I think she’s trying to tell us not to have fun without her,” Reid whispered in your ear, kissing your tear streaked cheek, and using his free hand to rub them away from the other side of your face.

“I am so thankful everyday for this gift you have given me. And for the record, the gift isn’t the baby. The gift is the overwhelming happiness you bring to my life, and the beauty you make me see in this world. The fact that you’re going to be the mother of my child gives me the confidence to get up and go to work every morning because I know that there is joy and there is kindness and there are beautiful people in this world, and you are one, and she will be, too.”

His attempts to dry your tears are now completely vanquished as you let your emotions run wild, but you almost laugh when you realise that his eyes are just as glassy as yours, and you both sit there, overwhelmed by the pure, unadulterated joy that a small kick from a child who has yet to be given a name has bought you.

[laurenairay]

Got me in the palm of your hand - M. Tkachuk

Summary: Wedding preparations are always emotional.

Word count: 1.1k

Warnings: mild angst

A/N: I love this song and I just felt inspired to write a little something. Enjoy!

Title from I don’t dance, by Lee Brice

~

I'll never settle down, That's what I always thought, Yeah, I was that kind of man, Just ask anyone, I don't dance, but here I am.

“How many more of these do we need to make?”

“Seeing as your family has about a 1000 people in it, we are barely a quarter way through,” you mused.

Taryn just groaned, throwing her head back dramatically.

“I love you, and I love Matty, but I am never doing this again,” she muttered.

“Hopefully I’ll never have to do it again either,” you teased.

That was the thing about weddings – there were a hundred things to do and nowhere near enough time to do them. Taryn had volunteered to come over to help you assemble the table centrepieces while Matthew and Brady went to pick up their tailored suits, and now that you’d finally sorted out the table plan, it was time to figure out decorations. It didn’t matter that Matthew was more than happy to splash the cash and hire professionals to take care of everything – there were just some things that needed a personal touch. Table centrepieces were easy enough, and what you’d been putting together wasn’t difficult, but with the amount of guests you’d invited? Turns out there were a lot of tables needing decorations.

“You know, I never thought he’d settle down,” Taryn said suddenly.

You inhaled sharply as her words sunk in, dread cutting through your body.

“What?”

You turned your head, frowning at your soon-to-be sister-in-law’s words.

“Do you want to elaborate on that, Taryn?” you said dryly, raising an eyebrow.

She flushed deeply, grimacing at your reaction, but you held firm. It wasn’t like you hadn’t known Matthew’s reputation when you’d first started dating him, the serial dater-and-heartbreaker, but to hear that from his sister? You couldn’t deny it stung a little.

“I really don’t know how to answer without digging myself a hole?” she admitted.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. You knew she wasn’t malicious or spiteful or even mean, but you needed more than that.

“I need you to say something, Tar, because right now my head is saying that this is Matty’s way of sneakily saying that he doesn’t want to get married.”

Because that was exactly what you were preparing for right now – the wedding that was only a month away. So the last thing you needed was the doubt that Matthew wasn’t as all in as you were – you needed to know.

“Oh my god, no, no way,” Taryn said quickly, shaking her head, “He absolutely 100% wants to marry you. That isn’t it at all.”

You let out a breath that was far shakier than you thought it would be and nodded. That was a slight relief at least. Still, you waited her out, needing her to finish her thoughts before you spiralled all over again. Matthew held your whole heart and for that brief moment that heart had started to crumble. Nothing had ever felt like that before.

“Matthew is a hopeless romantic at his core,” she eventually said, “You know that, everyone knows that. But he had such high standards for the person he envisioned spending the rest of his life with that I guess he figured he’d never find that perfect person, so he just dated casually, right?”

“Okay…”

You could see where she was going with this, so you nodded your encouragement.

“He dated casually, and often less than even calling it dating, all things I know you two have already talked about because he told me and Brady that he’d told you it all. It turned into him putting on a front, creating this image of someone who wasn’t a romantic, who didn’t invest himself in any relationship and it sucked seeing him that way. We just wanted him to be happy, you know? So when he started talking about you? We knew something had changed.”

“Really?” you found yourself asking.

Taryn grinned widely, making you laugh. “Yeah, really really. It took him a while, I’ll admit, old habits and all I suppose, but when he properly started talking about you? About all the dates and how beautiful you were and the way you were clearly filling all the voids in his life? Me and Brady were buzzing. When he finally told mom about you after that date he took you dancing? That was it, I knew you were it for him. He never dances for anyone. So yeah, I never thought he’d settle down because he wanted that fairytale. But he’s found that with you.”

The tears that filled your eyes didn’t hesitate to trickle down your cheeks, a soft whimper tearing from your throat before you could stop it. No-one had ever told you that’s how Matthew had spoken about you. And that was when she knew you were it for Matthew? That was years ago.

“I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. Please don’t tell Matty I made you cry,” Taryn said, panicking.

“Happy tears, I promise. Happy tears,” you replied, shaking your head.

You wiped your face with sleeves, no doubt smearing mascara everywhere, laughing wetly as you tried to compose yourself. It didn’t matter how long you’d known the Tkachuk family – one of them always managed to catch you off-guard. And to think, soon enough, you’d be one of them.

Wasn’t that a thought?

“I’m really sorry. I’ve made an ass of myself and I really didn’t mean to,” Taryn mumbled.

That self-deprecating look on her face was so familiar that it made your chest ache, and you wasted no time in pulling her into a hug. Taryn immediately hugged you back, firm and loving, a Tkachuk family trait, making you laugh softly.

“I think this calls for a drink,” you said, once you’d eventually pulled away.

“Shit yeah, I’ll get us some beers.”

As Taryn walked out of the room, you unlocked your phone, tapping through to your message thread with Matthew.

To: Matty I love you. So much.

You didn’t have to wait long for a reply, phone buzzing within minutes.

From: Matty I love you more. So much more than Brady. He keeps whining that he’s hungry even though we ate two hours ago. How do you feel about sushi for dinner? I can pick up your favourites on my way home?

Yeah you really couldn’t wait to marry this man.

~

Spinnin' you 'round and 'round in circles, It ain't my style, but I don't care, I'd do anything with you anywhere, Yes, you got me in the palm of your hand, 'Cause I don't dance.

[literallythegrabber]

TBP characters x somehow famous reader ? ( It's up to you how ) thank you for reading my request 👍

so I wasn't sure whether or not you wanted the cast or the characters themselves, so I just went with cast because it made more sense.

If you wanted characters I can redo it! 💗💗 (this looks way longer than it actually is btw)

Mason

he definitely stalks you

like not in a creepy way, he's just always on your social platforms, literally waiting for you to post.

he's totally your biggest fan, and will literally attempt to fight all of your haters.

Before your relationship, I feel like he was very nervous to talk to you.

Like if you two were ever at a screening together, or a fancy event back when TBP was popular, this man would legit stare you down from across the room. Then proceed to duck under a table if you catch him staring.

But during your relationship he would be way more relaxed and confident.

He would be chill about pda and taking you on dates in public, but your fanbase would be doing cartwheels, cause everybody ships yall.

Miguel

He's so obvious about his crush on you that it's hilarious.

If you seen those lives where he's just reading comments, then one mentions your name. He's gonna ramble on about you for the rest of the live.

WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT YOU, and his friends are tired of it tbh.

bro literally forgets he's famous too and turns into the ultimate fangirl.

But during your relationship he's so sweet.

Always wanting to hangout with you, taking you out in public almost every day.

If yall ever broke up, yalls fans would explode.

They be acting like yalls children with how lovey dovey yall are.

Brady

I feel like he'd try to hide it.

Like he's not in denial, but he don't want nobody knowing about his crush on you.

"conceal, don't let it feel" he's literally elsa.

He kinda keeps to himself around you, in public and all that.

He wouldn't want to overwhelm you, especially with how the media reacts when two popular human beings get together.

So you'd def have to approach him and ask for a date.

During your relationship, he would thaw the ice a bit.

You'd have to reassure him of your relationship a lot.

He just wants you to be comfortable. Lazy nights at home, introverted hangouts, cooking together.

Pretty chill.

Tristan

literally the opposite of brady.

IS YOUR BIGGEST FAN AND DOESN'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT.

He's definitely trying to rizz you up at a fancy event, and you're just like 😐

Like whispering random shit in your ear, trying to make you blush, posing with you at every opportunity.

Kinda annoying tbh

But if you give him a chance he'll tone it down. He'll start be more genuine and less flirty.

Taking you out to dinner, not wanting to take pictures with fangirls even though you scold him for being rude.

def starts arguments with you for fun. Starting light hearted arguments with you for fun.

this mf is still annoying.

but overall very cute.

Jacob

He's honestly pretty chill about you.

He just casually approaches you strikes up conversation.

In the middle of an interview? "These lights are bright, am I right y/n?" Talking with a fan? "Y/n, don't you have that same shirt?" Signing an autograph? "Do you think aliens are real?"

like shut up 😭

He really just enjoys talking to you, hearing your voice is the highlight of his day.

Yall would ease into a comfortable friendship before he ask you out.

From there on its late night ft calls, stealing each other's clothes, and going on casual excursions.

def the easiest to date.

Madeleine

She's so funny.

Either confesses right off the bat, or confirms you're hers after yall lock eyes.

kinda reminds me of that one audio, YOU ARE MINE, YOU ARE MINE.

Yall could be talking about pregnant hyenas, and she'll randomly be like, "I love you".

like girl what?

During your relationship she would be super cute.

Yall always out together. You can never catch her inside for more than 10 minutes.

Mason be feeling like a third wheel every time yall three are in the same room.

Yall just in the corner flirting and mason's just sitting there like 😐.

def your hype girl, yall always turning up.

srry, this was so long 💗💗

[lee-laurent]

Honeymoon Phase - Matthew Tkachuk

Summary: A month later, Matt and Freya return to the Hughes' Lake House; and their families finally get to see how in love they really are.

Content: FLUFF like toothrottingly, adorable fluff. mentions of sex but no actual smut, teasing, mentions of past angst

wc: 1.5k

notes: this is part 2 to under the radar! influenced by one of my favourite moots ever @toasttt11 !! go show toasty some love!! this was so fun to write! enjoy :)

"Are Matt and Freya up?" Ellen asked, flipping a pancake.

"Matt sleeps in," Brady commented, snatching a blueberry from the bowl on the table.

"Freya's never been an early bird either," Jim laughed.

"I'm not waking them up. I don't want to accidentally get a glimpse of Matt's dick," Jack smirked, making Luke snicker.

"Jack!" Ellen gasped.

"Just telling it how it is, Mom."

"Doesn't mean we have to say it aloud, Jack," she scolded, placing a large plate of pancakes on the table.

"I'm sure they'll be down soon," Chantal joined the conversation, "If not... they can fend for themselves."

Matt groaned, rolling onto his back and pulling Freya's body on top of his. His wife was a deep sleeper, so him adjusting cuddling positions didn't wake her. He had one arm holding her by her waist, the other under his head.

"Frey?" he mumbled.

"Mmm."

"You ready to get up?"

"Mmm."

"K," he replied, slowly opening his eyes. He smiled at the sight in front of him. Freya half-dressed, her face buried in his shoulder. Her chest pressed against his, one hand gripping his bicep, the other flung out to the side. He reached out, tapping his phone to check the time.

10:15

God, he was gonna get shit from Brady when they got down there, especially if anyone had heard them during the... late night the couple had shared the night before. Matt decided to give Freya fifteen more minutes, before he was pulling her up with him. She held onto him like a koala, her face in the crook of his neck.

"Freya. Baby, we're gonna miss breakfast."

"Tired."

"I know, love. We can go to bed early."

"I want to sleep," she slurred.

He placed her on the floor, the cold hardwood making her jump.

"I'm up! I'm up! Jesus, Matt! Trying to give me hypothermia!"

"The floor isn't going to give you hypothermia, babe. Get dressed; breakfast time!" he clapped.

She sighed, digging through her drawers to find an outfit. Matt went to the corner, doing the same in his suitcase.

"Not sure how I'm supposed to stay family friendly when you're walking around like that all week," he smirked, gripping her hips and pulling her into him.

"Perv," she giggled, leaning her head back on his shoulder.

"Can't help it when my wife looks like a supermodel."

"You flatter me, Matty."

"Maybe I could enjoy some breakfast in bed before we head down."

"What do you mean? Breakfast is- oh! Matt!"

"Glad you caught on, babe."

"I'm going to eat," she rolled her eyes, leaving him to pout in their room.

"Look who decided to join us!" Jim teased, watching his youngest enter the dining room.

"Yeah, yeah. I get it, Dad," she smiled, pressing a kiss to her dad's cheek.

Matt followed behind her, looking like a lost puppy. He stood behind the barstool she'd sat on, wrapping his arms around her waist. Their families watched as he whispered something in her ear that made her giggle.

"Ew," Luke mumbled, grabbing even more pancakes.

"Any plans for the day?" Chantal asked, pulling the attention off the couple.

"I'm gonna take Matt out on the boat," Freya grinned excitedly, placing a hand on his.

"Like Hell you are," Quinn scoffed.

"What? I have my boating license."

"And? I don't need the boat being christened."

"Quinn!" Ellen rolled her eyes.

"Wasn't the plan, Quintin. But now that you mention it..." she narrowed her eyes at him, smirking.

"You wouldn't dare!" Jack gasped.

"Of course not. You fucking idiots," she sighed, shushing Matt who was laughing into her shoulder.

"Well, you two have fun."

"Thanks, Mom. We'll see you guys for lunch!"

The two families were gathered in the backyard, playing a very intense game of volleyball. Freya had decided to sit out to make the teams even. She was lounging in a deck chair, cheering on her family... but also her husband on the opposite team.

"Good job, babe!" she cheered.

"Who's side are you on here, Frey?" Luke laughed.

"Yours. But my husband is on the other team, so..."

"I'll never get used to that word," Quinn shook his head.

"What? Husband?"

"Yeah. He was never even your boyfriend to us."

"But we can all see how happy they are, Quinn," Ellen scolded, getting ready to serve the ball. Matt turned, shooting a wink at Freya.

"I'm cheering exclusively for Matt now," Freya stuck her tongue out at her older brother.

"You better not be doing that when we play the Panthers," Jack complained.

"She's been doing that," Matt teased.

"You trying to get your ass whooped, Tkachuk?"

"I'd like to see you try."

"I'll do it for you," Freya offered to her brothers, "He wasn't supposed to tell you guys that."

Matt marched over to her, flinging her over his shoulder. She laughed, pounding her fists on his back.

"Who's whooping who's ass?"

"I'm winning," she giggled.

"Are you now?" he smiled, shifting her so he was holding her by her waist. She scrunched up her nose as he pressed a kiss to it, placing her down on the ground. She threw a fake punch at his face, Matt pretending to stumble backwards.

"KO!" Luke shouted.

"And the winner is... HUGHES!"

"Why do we always have to watch his shitty movie?" Freya complained, picking at the loose threads on the blanket covering the couple.

"Because it's not shitty, it's a masterpiece," Jack retorted.

"It was 8% on Rotten Tomatoes."

"And?"

"That means it's shit."

"Babe, just watch the movie," Matt groaned, placing his hand on her upper thigh.

"Whatever."

"That's what I thought," Jack sassed, pressing play on the movie.

"You're right, Frey. This is terrible," Matt whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek.

"That's what I was trying to warn you of, but nooooo, you just can't listen to your wife."

"I-"

"Will you two shut up! I'm trying to watch the movie," Luke snapped.

"Sorry."

Freya leaned into Matt's touch. She was loving being able to be close in front of their families. He trailed his hand a little higher up her thigh, earning some side eye. He ignored the warning, resting his hand right on the edge of her pajama shorts. She shook her head slightly, lacing their fingers together under the blanket.

"I love you," he mouthed.

She just leaned up and kissed the side of his mouth in response. He smiled, leaning in for a proper kiss that she gladly gave him. He kissed the tip of her nose, turning back to the movie. Little did they know that Quinn was watching the whole interaction and he could barely fathom how in love his little sister really was.

"Can you stop?"

"Why?" Matt smirked, running his hand up the front of her shirt.

"Your hands are cold."

"And?"

"And... it's annoying. You're annoying."

"You don't mean that. You loveeee me."

"Meh," she shrugged.

Freya was sitting on the kitchen counter, Matt standing between her legs. It was late and everyone else had gone to bed.

"You don't mean that."

"Meh."

"I can leave," he jokingly offered.

"Nooooo," she pouted, pulling him back by his shirt.

"That's what I thought," he put his hands on her waist under her shirt, squeezing. She wriggled, gasping from the cold contact on her skin.

"Do you think my brothers still hate you?"

"Nah."

"How do you know?"

"Quinn asked me earlier if I wanted to help him grill. And then later Jack came in our room and threw a box of condoms at me. So, I think we're in the clear."

"Jack is such a menace."

"Said he wasn't ready to be an uncle."

"Hmm," Freya tapped her finger against her lips.

"Shut up," Matt laughed, kissing her neck. "No babies yet. We agreed."

"I know! I'm joking!! I have to finish school first. Then we can discuss."

"Whatever you want."

"I love you, Matthew."

"And I love you, Freya. You ready for bed?"

"Yep! Let's go!"

Matt started to walk off, quickly noticing that Freya had made no move to get up, "What are you doing?"

"Carry me?"

He rolled his eyes, "Let's go."

"Yay!" she wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs around his waist.

"My own personal koala."

"Duh."

"So..." Luke started, "We can all agree that Matt and Freya are perfect together?"

The two families looked around, all nodding. Freya and Matt were sleeping in... again. And the rest of their family members took it as their time to have a meeting.

"They're so cute," Chantal cooed, "Matt loves her to bits."

"I agree," Ellen smiled, "I've never seen Freya this happy."

"I'm still pissed I wasn't invited to the wedding," Brady smirked.

"Shut up. None of us were."

"I can't wait to have grandkids!" Chantal added excitedly.

"Ew," Jack muttered.

"Grandkids? Who's pregnant?" Freya asked sleepily, wiping the crusty bits from her eyes.

"You!"

"Me? I'm very much not pregnant," she laughed.

"Soon enough," Matthew teased, holding onto her hand.

"WHAT?!"

[crazyk-imagine]

Flickering Lights and Butterflies

Pairing: Paul Lahote x Enhanced!reader

Characters: Enhanced!reader, Paul Lahote, Sam Uley, Emily Young, Jacob Black, Seth Clearwater, Embry Call, Quil Atera V, Jared Cameron, Brady Fuller, Collin Littlesea, Reader's sister (briefly mentioned), Unnamed Aunt (briefly mentioned)

Warnings: Angst, fluff, Paul being a butt, pack loves reader, I'm making it canon (for myself) that Quil is the shortest one of all, the guys tease the youngest members a lot, Emily is my iconic queen, I love writing for them, the pack is a wholesome and chaotic crew, this would have been so long so I broke it into two parts, I like adding Brady and Collin because they're my fun extras, my babies are causing themselves issues, literally don't know how involved I got with this, Sam knows when to listen to his luna

Word Count: 2,040

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You close your eyes and throw an arm over your head, covering the upper half of your face.

You can feel the energy from the person sitting beside you but don't move.

The crunching of the grass raising the hairs on your arms causing you to inadvertently shiver from the goosebumps.

"Are you ever going to come back inside?"

"Why should I?"

"First off, I don't want you to get a cold."

You sigh, "Emily-"

"I'm not pressuring you to come back inside but I don't want you to be cold. I don't want to lose another girl to hang out with because she was stubborn."

You scoff through your nose, lips twitching as you fight to keep your emotions in control. You push yourself up and stare up into the sky, blowing out a breath, seeing it disappear into the wind.

God it's cold.

"See, it's cold enough for you to see your breath which means it's time to come inside."

You smile at her concern, something you haven't heard in a while. "I'll be right behind you."

The knot in your shoulder tightens and the burning, tingling sensation is back. "I don't want to talk to him."

He huffs, "I'm not the bad guy here."

"You don't sound like the good guy either."

"Says you."

You push yourself off the ground and rush past him.

He grabs your arm, pulling you back.

You gasp in fear, grabbing at his hand; worried for his safety. "Get off me."

"Not until we talk."

"I don't want to talk. Let go of me." You avoid staring into his eyes.

"Give me five minutes. It's not going to hurt you."

"Let go of me."

"Look me in the eye and I will."

You shove him away and run inside. You lock yourself in the guest bathroom.

Emily runs in, glancing around in search of you. "Bathroom," she mutters.

The others enter, seeing their luna knocking on the door.

They turn to Paul who glares at the door with his arms crossed.

"What happened?" Embry asks.

"Little miss stains ran off into the bathroom."

They can see the play back in their minds and wonder what happened.

-

You hold your head in your hands, pleading to freak out. "No, no, no."

You raise your head, staring at the ceiling. "Please don't."

You can hear her pleading and assume the others are talking about you in a bad way.

You hyperventilate, unsure of how to calm down.

You hold your breath and rub your chest, mentally telling yourself you're okay and need to calm down.

The lights pop.

You don't want to go out.

-

"Sweetie. I need you to open the door. I need to see that you're okay."

Sam steps towards his fiancée. "What's happening?"

She places a hand on his arm. "Sam as much as I love you, I need you and the boys to stay in the kitchen."

He wants to ask more but can see by the look on her face, he won't get any. He nods and steps away.

She sits beside the door, "they're in the kitchen. I told them to go away."

"Emily," you whine, embarrassed.

"It's okay. If you come out, then we can take care of this."

You unlock the door after a few moments. "I am so sorry."

"I know," she opens her arms to hug you.

You immediately throw yourself into her grasp.

Paul catches slight movement from the corner of his eyes and smells the saltiness of your tears, furrowing his brows.

You two make your way back into the kitchen.

You glance at them from the corner of your eye, sensing the concern of Sam about his fiancé.

You lower your head.

Emily breaks away from Sam, mouthing that she's got this.

She places a gentle hand on your shoulders. "Do you want to go home?"

You raise your head and stare at her with a wobbly lip, tears trailing past your waterline.

She offers a gentle smile. "I'll stay with you tonight. I won't leave you alone."

"You promise?" Your voice cracks, breaking everyone's heart, namely Paul's.

She gives you an affirmative nod. "I promise. Have you ever known me to break a promise?"

You can't hold back the choking sob that escapes when you laugh.

She wraps an arm around you and pulls you out with her, heading into her old truck.

He follows behind.

As soon as you settle into the passenger seat, he tries to make his way to you. "Can I-"

She shakes her head. "Not now, Paul. She's- today's not good, okay?"

"What's wrong with her?"

She shakes her head, "I know that's not what you mean but I can't answer that because we need to go."

His eyes follow the truck as she backs out.

You look up and catch his gaze, his shoulders sag at the sight of your broken-down face.

-

You wake up and stare at the ceiling with the moonlight lighting the living room.

Emily lays asleep on the longer end of the couch, curled into the blanket since tonight's colder than it has been all week.

You push yourself up and think about everything that happened earlier in the day. You don't know whether you wish it didn't happen or if it happened sooner.

You wander into the kitchen and get yourself a glass of water.

After drinking as much as you can, you glance out the window and stare into the forest, always finding it peaceful since you were a kid... back when you two were friends.

You sigh, remembering how embarrassed you were, it was stupid but then your parents got into an accident and your sister was taken to live with your aunt in California while you were left in the care of Emily because she was your godmother and wanted nothing more than to keep you in Folks.

She tried all she could to keep you two together, but your mom's sister fought harder for your sister.

You know Paul probably doesn't even know why you were so upset or what happened since a proper funeral didn't take place, you don't even know if he knows.

You blink and you’re back to reality, no longer stuck in memory lane and find a wolf near your house.

It's him, you know it.

There's no other reason a wolf would be nearby at this time of night, intensely staring at your house or you.

You turn away, unsure of what to do about everything that's happened.

You step back into the living room, checking on Emily, smiling when you see she's still asleep.

You wipe the stray tear that trickles down your cheek, thinking back to when you and your sister would stay in the living room for your sister hangouts.

A shadow moving near the door alarms you, causing you to turn and investigate.

You jump, placing a hand over your heart, wanting to curse him out.

You carefully unlock the door and step outside, making sure to grab your key beforehand, in case you get locked out.

The last thing you need is Paul to try and get you back inside and/or scare the daylight out of Emily because of him.

You sigh, crossing your arms. "What do you want?"

His eyes are drawn down towards your chest at your movements before trailing back to your annoyed expression, something he finds himself falling more and more for.

"If you’re just going to oogle me like a piece of meat, I'm going back inside."

His hands grab your wrist, stopping you before you can step closer to the door. "No- I- I didn't come here for that."

"What did you come for?" You snatch your wrist back from him.

The porch light buzzes, you pray this doesn't take long.

"I wanted to talk."

"Then talk."

"Could we skip the attitude?"

"The only one here with the attitude is you."

"Says the one who keeps running when I open my mouth."

"It was a bad idea coming out here to talk to you, just go, Paul."

He sighs.

The light pops, breaking above you.

You flinch, raising your arm to cover your face and slowly dropping it so the pieces of light don't cut your skin.

He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you away from the mess. "Hey, hey," he cups your cheeks. "Are you okay?"

You avoid making eye contact with him.

"Stop fighting me and look at me."

You turn your head and find his concerned expression to be the most breathtaking thing you've ever seen.

His eyes are drawn the red line across your cheek. "Your-"

Emily opens the door, staring at the two of you and looks to the side, finding the mess. "You two get inside so I-"

Paul shakes his head, "I'll do it. You take care of her."

-

"You need to tell him."

"I don't have to tell him."

"He's your best friend."

"Was my friend but then he started growing up and became a butthead."

"Boys who like someone are mean to them because they have the emotional capacity of a stick."

You owlishly blink, listening to the phrase she said. "Yeah, I know. He's prime example number one."

"Not all relationships are perfect."

"That's true and we're not in one."

"Maybe he can help you?"

"With what?"

"Your issue."

You shake your head, "no. He's not helping me."

"He's the only one who doesn't know."

"The other guys don't know."

"I think out of all the boys, other than Sam, Quil might know what happened, other than that they don't."

"And I don't know them."

She sighs, "is this really the attitude you're going to have towards the one the universe decided was yours?"

You pretend to think about it for a second. "Yep."

-

You step out of the hall, watching him try and remember where to put the broom. "Give it." You put it back in its place. "Thanks."

"It was no big deal. I didn't want you to get hurt."

You roll your eyes. "That."

"What?"

"Why do you keep doing that?"

"Why do you think?"

The question holds no attitude even though the phrase seems like it.

"I don't know because you won't talk about it."

"Do you- nevermind."

"No, tell me."

"I don't want to do this right now, Paul. Please, go home."

"No," he stands his ground, tired of you pushing him away. "What happened with us because one second we're friends and the next we're not."

"Did you ever think maybe you acting like a dick was reason enough?"

"You're blaming me?" His shoulders tense up.

Emily notices and eyes him from the couch.

"I didn't make fun of my friend and get the other kids to join in on the tormenting, you did that easily enough."

"I didn't mean to. I told you-"

"That was not joking around, and you blatantly made fun of me."

"I- I didn't know any better. I was a kid."

"Just because you were a kid, doesn't mean you didn't have a brain, you just had to use it. You know those kids are ruthless and mean then you joined in with them."

"I didn't think they were close to me."

"They hated me."

"Everyone hated everyone, girls were gross then."

You scoff, looking away to hide the fact that that day was the beginning of the end for you as you tear up. "I don't want to talk to you anymore," you tell him wiping your cheek.

"Why are you crying?"

"Do you even know how long that stupid nickname has stuck around, even now because you still use it?"

"It's cute."

"It's annoying. I don't like it and you still bully me."

"It's not bullying if it's endearing."

"Try the opposite."

"Okay," he sighs, "I'll stop using it."

"I'm happy the two of you are acting like your friends again but it's almost two in the morning and I'm tired."

"I'm off patrol and it's raining."

"Convenient," you mumble.

He smiles, staring at you as you plop beside Emily. "The lights are still working."

"I noticed." She places her hand on the back of your head and mindlessly pats your head.

You fight to keep your eyes open, listening to the two talking while you're becoming more and more relaxed.

-

Tag List

@kmc1989 @gilbertgirl13

-

Continue to: Part II

Paul Lahote Master List

[bradpittwh0re]

faceclaim: sydney sweeney

pairings: brad pitt x actress!reader

warnings:fluff , lovers to exes to hopefully lovers again

theteaonbrad

liked by pittbase, y/nbaby09 , bradstan11 and 7,128 others

theteaonbrad it looks like from inside sources that brad pitt and y/n l/n has decided to call it quicks after dating for 2 years , tmz reports

view all 3,726 comments

y/nfan61 i literally just screamed "WHAT THE HELL" out loud

y/n+bradfan84 and our delusional ass thought they were going to announce an engagement soon

pittfan24 we were really in a delusional era

y/nfan12 SAY SIKE PLEASE SAY SIKE

bradstan04 swear didnt he just get her name tattooed!!!

y/nfan23 i guess it didnt mean that much for him

y/nstan452 can you guys stop speculating about a relationship your not in

twitter's reaction

yourinstagram

liked by jacobelordi, , y/nstan04 and 820,286 others

yourinstagram new campaign @miumiu the wander bag

view all 623,383 comments

y/nfan34 so its just business as usual babes

y/nstan74 she is not going to address nothing

y/nfan02 the face card never declines

jacobelordi 😭

cassiedefender ariana what you doing here ?

bradfan04 omg its true brad is always the first one to like her pictures but now he has not liked it at all

y/nfan88 she is the miu miu it girl

euphoria

liked by jacobelordi, yourusername and 956,175 others

euphoria y/n stuns in custom miu miu at l.a euphoria premiere

view all 263,907 comments

y/nfan01 we are so proud of you y/n

y/nfan02 she has the post breakup glow to her

pittfan24 nooo i miss her and brad together

y/nfan04 we don't want this we want the next album

jacobelordi so amazing 🔥🔥

yourinstagram aww thanks jacob

y/nstan82 is it just me that are seeing y/n and jacob's interactions cassiedefender yess , i thought i was the only one , i hope they just friends but that picture is not helping their case

y/nstan82 dont really know if they're friends or dating but i kinda ship it

tmz

liked by y/nsfan62 , y/nstan04 and 27,374 others

tmz brad spotted out and about in l.a the same time as y/n's premiere , accident or intentional ???

view all 13,070 comments

hater87 damn he really let himself go

pittstan62 and still looks better than you on your best day

bradfan42 himbo brad conformed

pittfan24 omg not all their close friends but y/n , she must have done something

bradfan36 stop guessing its literally none of our business

deadline

liked by bradpittfan76 , y/nstan04 and 97,743 others

deadline after production was halted in late year it is now confirmed that the film "Anyone But You" will start up filming again next month in Australia

view all 23,842 comments

y/nfan87 well this will be so awkward

y/nfan52 and its a romcom 🥰

bradstan45 jacob is probably on the floor somewhere

pittfan24 BRADY/N SUPREMACY

y/nfan04 I need this to bring them back together

-----

author note -gonna make a part 2 for this later and send more requests

[stephsageek]

A preview of the Five x Lila one-shot I'm working on:

“Seriously?” she demanded.

“’Seriously’ what?” he deadpanned.

“Well, it’s Friday-bloody-night!”

“And?”

“Oi! What do you mean ‘and?’ You know damn well, I only get one night a month! One night where I make up an excuse to hang out, get out of the house, and let down my hair! And here you are, washing bloody dishes! Is that honestly all we’re going to be doing tonight?! I might as well be sitting in front of the telly watching the last of Diego’s brain cells die off while he watches Naked and Afraid!”

“What? You got a hot date with somebody else?” he quipped, tossing the towel he’d been using over his shoulder and opening a cabinet to his right. “Believe it or not, Lila, but I am not here on this planet to entertain you. You're the one who invites herself over just as an excuse to get out of the house--that has nothing to do with how I plan on spending my evening. A night of actual drinking and reading is plenty for me. I’m not the one living in a ‘domestic hellscape.’”

“Why do you have to be such an old man all the time?!” she whined.

“Maybe because I am an old man, crazy lady,” he replied, sounding unbothered, as he began to put dishes back into cabinets. Even with his back turned, Lila could hear the smile in his words. He thought this was funny!

“Believe me, I am more than aware,” she huffed.

“Don’t like it, toots, go darken somebody else’s doorstep for ‘book club,’ or whatever the hell other B.S. you feed that half-wit brother of mine,” Five snarked as he finished his chore.

He finally turned to face her, resting one hip against the counter. Lila noted he must have had a long day that day judging by the stubble along his jaw. And yet, despite his protests to the contrary, he didn't kick her out. If he didn't want her around bothering him, why give her his spare key? She watched him smile, his eyes crinkling ever so slightly in amusement. It was still strange seeing the signs of his advancing age. She’d gotten so used to him being so young that Lila found herself disconcerted to realize he was nearing physically twenty years old soon.

“C’mon, old man! Give a girl a break! I’m trapped in a bad episode of The Brady Brunch and Mr. Brady is a whiney sod!”

Five didn’t react other than to chuckle. He casually went over to another cabinet and retrieved a bottle of wine. He turned back to Lila and tipped the bottle, silently offering. She jutted her lip stubbornly. His smile widened. He turned back, returning with a bottle of scotch. He lifted his eyebrows invitingly.

Lila grinned and nodded.

Five nodded back, retrieved a pair of glasses, and went to get ice from the fridge while Lila continued with her diatribe. “I am trapped in a loveless marriage; I’m surrounded by needy people day in and day out! It’s nothing but an endless stream of carting around children, appeasing grumpy forgetful old people—no offense—”

“—None taken—”

“—trying to tune out gossipy aunties, and stroking an inept man-child’s ego! Five, I want to do something fun for a change! Something exciting! And my best and frankly only mate is a boring ass sexagenarian! Do you have any idea how sad that is?! That you of all people are the only one I look forward to seeing anymore! I love my kids and folks, sure; but it's not the same! You seriously don't have anything planned?”

Five shrugged looking non-plussed. Lila shook her head, dismayed.

“You’d think working as a time-traveling assassin and then as a government agent, you’d have developed a personality besides being annoying and uptight!”

Lila threw herself onto the table, her arms outstretched and her forehead landing on the hard surface with a knock.

She heard Five sit down across from her, patiently waiting. He sat her drink within her reach.

“Alright. I’ll bite; what did you have in mind?”

Lila turned her head slightly, peeking an eye out from between the heavy fringe of her bangs. “You’ll let me pick?”

Five sighed but smiled indulgently. “I suppose if I’m your only friend, than that means you’re my only friend too; I suppose I can be generous to somebody so pathetic as to call me of all people their friend.”

Lila sat up so quickly that Five flinched, drawing back ever so slightly in surprise.

She reached into her pocket and slapped a deck of cards on the table between them.

Five lifted an amused eyebrow. “Cards? And you call me old—”

“Not just cards, my dear man—poker!”

“Poker’s hardly what I’d call—”

“Oh! But I didn’t finish!” Lila wagged her finger, opening the cards and spreading them out on the table.

Five glanced down and reached across the space to pick out one of the jokers Lila had been searching for, removing it from the others and setting it aside.

“Oh? What’ll it be? Five-card draw?” He grinned ironically as Lila swatted at his fingers so she could dig out the other joker and set aside the ‘rules’ card. He continued. “Texas hold ‘em? Omaha?” Five took a long draw of his drink.

“Strip poker!”

Pfff!

Five expelled his drink, coughing into his fist after.

[fahye]

book recs: august '23

(I want to try and do these posts more frequently because I DEARLY miss yelling about books, txitter is [poop emoji]-ing, and bluesky is promising but I don't have much of an audience there yet)

ok! stuff freya has read recently and enjoyed:

A FIRE BORN OF EXILE by aliette de bodard -- did you enjoy nirvana in fire? this is for YOU. it's a revenge story set in aliette's xuya space opera universe, with a pile of complicated characters with mixed or obscured motives, a sapphic romance, and just really incredible use of worldbuilding and politics.

THE SLEEPING SOLDIER by aster glenn gray -- I am an enormous sucker for aster's historical m/m romances, and this one was incredible. a union soldier goes to sleep in 1865 and wakes up in 1965, and his new college roommate has a series of gay crises about it. sweet, exuberant, well researched. both a wonderful romance and an absolutely fascinating examination of male friendships and homosexuality in two different historical time periods.

A DEADLY EDUCATION by naomi novik -- doing a reread of the first two scholomance books before I dive into the third. these books are so disgustingly tailored to ME, a huge fan of magical academia stories with a truly deliciously unnecessary level of worldbuilding detail about how the magic works (and how the school is trying to kill you).

BATH HAUS by p.j. vernon -- a man goes to a gay bathhouse, cheating on his partner, and narrowly escapes being murdered. things get worse from there. I can only recommend this to you if you enjoy thrillers that STRESS YOU THE FUCK OUT, which I normally don't; I nearly put it down a couple of times, but I HAD to know what was going on. it's a masterclass in propulsive tension and does some really cool things with unreliable narration.

HAVEMERCY by jaida jones and danielle bennett -- seven hundred years late to this party, but OH MY GOD. this is the completely gay political/military fantasy of my dreams (the YEARNING), plus there are magical-mechanical dragons. I will be devouring the other books in this series in short order.

EVERY VERSION OF YOU by grace chan -- a beautiful and fascinating literary scifi book about humanity and family and love, and being given the choice to upload your consciousness to a digital paradise as the planet dies around you. unsurprisingly it deals with some heavy stuff, but it's fantastic. and australian!

A THIEF AND A GENTLEMAN by arden powell -- another m/m romance in arden's flos magicae series. the title alone is probably enough to tell you why I enjoyed it, but I especially liked the way it kept subverting my expectations in favour of more chewy emotional honesty and complexity.

STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER by fern brady -- a memoir by a scottish comedian about being diagnosed with autism in her thirties, and her life up to that point. funny and chaotic and an all-around amazing read. I loved fern on taskmaster and I love her even more now.

[brainddeadd]

can you write about Matthew tkachuk and reader where reader doesn’t know him but she goes to him because an old man was being creepy with her so she goes to the first persone she sees asking for help

The man just won't take a hint.

You arrived at the bar with friends a few hours ago and had long since lost them to dancing and people who caught their attention. Deciding you needed a break from dancing, you made your way over to the bar, which is how you ended up in this situation. Stuck next to an older man, who's far too drunk for the 9pm time and who definitely hasn't brushed his teeth this week.

At first, he was just making the usual comments: you look hot, you look lonely, you looked good dancing.

Then came the crowding you into the bar, his body blocking off your exits. He continued to creep closer and closer, but the final straw was his hand finding its way to your thigh, gripping tight enough that it was slightly painful.

Scouring the bar for one of your friends, anyone, your eyes settle onto a tall man, with wild curly hair and kind eyes. He raises an eyebrow in question, head tilting as if to ask if you're ok. Subtly shaking your head, the man's up and moving towards you before you can blink. Attempting to pry the creep's hand from your leg, he's knocked slightly off balance as you suddenly jump up. This allows you time to move towards the man with the curly hair, who meets you in the middle, his arms winding around your waist gently, a glare being sent towards the creep.

"You ok?" His voice is quiet, but there's an edge to it you didn't expect, and you find yourself being honest, shaking your head and leaning into his hold.

"He's been bothering me for like forty minutes, and then he touched me, and-" He leans back to look at your face, a frown present on his features.

"He touched you?" His voice is gravelly and you can practically feel the anger building in his body.

"Not too bad," you rush to say, but the man's already pulling you along with him, back to his previous seat.

"Brady, keep her safe for me." He's gone, and you're left in front of another curly haired man.

"Hey hun, you ok?" A woman asks, her hand resting on your shoulder gently. "We saw him bothering you, and then suddenly Matt was up and gone."

Nodding you smile at her weakly.

"I'm ok, just not used to.. that." You gesture vaguely and she nods, pulling you into her side.

"I'm Taryn, and this is Brady." She gestures to the other curly haired man. "And you've met our brother, Matt."

"I'm Yn," you smile and let yourself be lead further into the table, settling into the seat Matt once held.

"Did you come with people? Want us to find them?" Brady asks and you shrug.

"They all kinda abandoned me for guys, I think I'm the only one still here."

"Fuck that," Taryn declares, shaking her head. "You don't leave each other alone, that's fucked."

Matt chooses that moment to slide back up to the table, immediately coming to your side, chest touching your shoulder as he leans over to Brady.

"May or may not have just been told to leave, here-" he throws some cash down on the table and looks at you. "Would you like me to walk you?"

"Oh, you've already done enough for me, Matt, I'll be ok," you try to sound convincing, but he just raises an eyebrow.

"We're gonna head off, I'll make sure she gets home safely." Matt throws an arm around your shoulder and leads you away from the table and out into the fresh air outside.

"You don't have to-"

"I want to," his voice is soft and serious as he speaks. "But if you don't want me to, just say the word, and I'm gone, I promise."

"No!" Shuffling closer to him subconsciously, he grins. "Thank you. For everything."

"Just did what I'd want someone to do for my sister." He shrugs but you know he means it.

You walk in silence for a moment before you suddenly remember something.

"What did you mean by when you said you were told to leave? What happened?"

"I punched him."

[storiesaplenty]

Jelly Bracelets (3)

Eddie Munson x f/Reader

Jelly Bracelets Masterlist

This has not been proofread. Please enjoy, though.

Warnings: swearing.

Gifs & photos do not belong to me: @m-xrdersxene

WC: 960

©️ storiesaplenty 2024: Do not repost or translate my work. This is the only place I post my work.

Glittery Purple - willing to French kiss

Eddie Munson may be the freak of Hawkins, but he is your best friend. Who is always willing to teach you new things, even when you get new bracelets from your cousin. Eddie will even go as far as teaching & showing you what each one means.

Eddie Munson's Pov:

I can't believe I just did that.

The moment she nodded her head yes, I just knew I had to kiss her.

When I cupped her face, I truly thought she was going to pull away, and I was going to play it off like it was a joke, but she didn't pull away, and I figured this would be my only chance I ever get a chance to kiss her.

When I pulled away, she almost looked disappointed, but I didn't look back, because if I did, who knows what would have happened.

Would we kiss again, or would it be some awkward conversation that may or may not ruin our friendship.

"You two okay?" Jeff asked me halfway through rehearsal when we took a small break.

"Yeah, why?" I took a sip of my Mountain Dew.

"Well, usually you two are always near one another, but she seems to be staying on the other side of the room from you."

I looked back over my shoulder and could see she was laughing at something that Gareth said.

I looked back at Jeff, and cleared my throat. "Just a small fight. Nothing her and I can't get past."

Hopefully, I didn't ruin our friendship.

The car ride back to my place was silent.

The radio was on, but it was soft. So soft I could hardly hear it.

The ride felt shorter, because before I knew it, we were pulling in front of my trailer.

"Give me a call when you get home." Same thing I say every time she leaves my place. I opened the passenger side door, ready to get out.

"Eddie, wait." I closed the door, as it is a bit cool out.

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry for being so weird during rehearsal."

"You weren't the only one." I said to her, wondering where this was going.

"Look, you know I haven't been with many people, and when you kissed me, well, it felt nice."

"Nice?" I couldn't help but be amused.

"Don't make fun, Eddie."

"I am not. Look, I am just having fun and I know you are too. I can stop snapping your bracelets. Besides I know how excited you were that your cousin sent them to you."

"How about this, you keep snapping them until I say stop." I couldn't believe I am hearing her say this.

"Are you sure?" I leaned in closer to her face, needing to see if she is telling the truth.

Hoping that she isn't playing with me.

"I am sure Eddie." She held up her arm. "Now which one is next?"

My eyes zeroed in on the the one I wanted to snap, but then it started to rain, hard.

"Shit, we better get inside." I said, opening the door, getting drenched.

"I'll drive home." She said as it started to rain even harder.

"I don't think so. You can wait it out here. Spend the night, you know you can."

The two of us ran into my trailer, the rain soaking through our clothes.

The two of us dried off and changed. Her in a pair of boxers that I no longer wear, and one of the t-shirts that she has taken for herself whenever she has to change her clothes at my place.

Her and I were sitting on my couch, watching The Brady Bunch, as it was on the only station that didn't have static.

"Eddie?" She turned to look at me.

"Yeah?"

"Which one were you going to pick?"

I didn't say the answer, but just gently grabbed her arm, as she watched me intently.

I was watching her, and she looked into my eyes as I snapped the one I have been wanting to snap since this afternoon.

I held it up, and she was clearly confused.

"What does this colour mean?"

"Glittery Purple. Wearer is willing to french. Are you willing?"

"Yes."

That was all I needed to hear before smashing my lips against hers, the two of us moaning into the kiss.

I leaned over her, forcing her to lay back against the cushions.

I deepend the kiss, her wrapping her arms around my neck, pulling me even closer to her if that was possible.

Our tongues were fighting for dominance, but I let her win, wanting her to have this moment.

"Eddie." She whined when I pulled my lips away for a moment, before she kissed me once more.

I didn't want this to end.

Didn't want this to stop, but all of a sudden, the headlights from Uncle's truck seemed to light up the room.

I pulled away, worried he may have gotten fired from the plant. She sat up, trying to fix her hair as I stood up.

The door flung open, and there stood my Uncle, looking like a drowned rat as I raced to grab him a towel to dry off.

"The plant lost power, so we got sent home." He was cranky, which is understandable. He won't get paid for the rest of the shift.

He took the towel from me, dried off as he walked to his room, calling out. "Kid, you are staying here tonight, and that is an order."

"Yes Wayne." She called back.

"Maybe we should go to bed. I am tired." I told her.

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." I grabbed her hand, pulling her off the couch.

I grabbed the spare pillows and blankets that we have laying around, already feeling the chill in the air along the way to my room.

She got comfy in my bed, as I turned off the light, joining her.

It had been a bit since we have shared a bed.

"Good night Eddie."

"Good night sweetheart."

♣︎

Orange (2) ♥︎ Pink (4)

[prettypinkporkchop]

Birthday party gone WRONG

Summary: You are turning 20-25 you pick lol. Embry is trying to give you the best birthday with the help of Quil. It's your first birthday party at you and Embry's first house you two got together! Something doesn't go right...

Warnings: slight smut, super funny overall, vomit!, language

***Inspired by the movie Plan B on hulu

Being Embry's fiance is a blast! He's always down to do fun shit. Since you've been with him, Quil has been like a brother to you! Well, it's your birthday and you know they're whipping up a plan. You're not sure what, though. Right now, Kim and Rachel have you at your favorite diner.

"God damn! This food always makes me want to cum." You take a bite.

Rachel and Kim laugh at you, eating their plates.

"The birthday girl gets what she wants." Kim winks.

"Thank you guys for treating me!" You are so engulfed with the food.

Meanwhile:

Embry puts the alcohol on the counter in front of the cashier.

"Bro! I knowwww, she will like these." Quil grabs a pack of fake mustaches.

Embry looks at him with a "really?" Face. "Put it on the counter. We've got to hurry!" Embry says.

Quil quickly grabs a bunch of them and puts them on the counter. The cashier chews her bubble gum and raises an eyebrow at them.

"Planning a wild party?" She asks.

"What can we say?" Quil jumps on the counter, sitting there as she scans stuff. He smugly looks at her, "we are the people you want to party with." He winks.

Embry pinches the bridge of his nose. "Quil." He sighs.

The girl rolls her eyes. "Counter isn't for sitting. Your total is $35.66." She pops a bubble with her gum.

Embry cringes and then pays with his card. The two guys walk outside and into Embry's truck. "Can you text Emily and see where she is on the decorations?"

Quil whips out his phone. "Sure. But next time I'm flirting, be chill. Don't embarrass me."

Embry smiles watching the road. "As if you imprinted."

"Hey, until I do, I'm a guy. Let me have some action."

----

Rachel pulls into the driveway, and you see all of your people's cars. The front porch is decorated, and you hear music. You see Embry waiting for you.

Once the car stops, you jump out and run to Embry he catches you and kisses all over your face.

"Happy birthday, baby." He smiles.

"Thank you!" You squeal.

The whole pack was there, as well as the imprints, including Nessie and Edward, Bella, Alice, and Jasper. Everyone but the vampers were drinking. You all wore fake mustaches and partied hard.

Slowly, as the night went on, people were leaving. Eventually, you were so drunk and tired. You realized the house was a mess, Quil, Collin, and Brady are passed out on the couch.

You sigh, looking all around the house, content with your birthday.

"I say we get to bed?" Warm and grabby hands touch your body from behind.

"Mhm. Let's go." You slur.

Embry is just as drunk as you. The kisses he leaves on your lips are hungry and devouring. His hands grab onto every part of your body. He rips off your clothes quickly. He flips you over, pushing your head down onto the bed. He slaps your ass and leans over to grab a condom out of the nightstand.

No, you don't take birth control. Yes, you've done it raw but when you two are drunk or he doesn't want to pull out, condom.

He opens it up and slides it on. He pushes himself into you. He's rough, making you cry out in pleasure. After a while in this position, he flips you over and hovers on top of you.

He goes in and lowers his hand to do some work to help you finish. He leaves sloppy wet kisses on your neck. He's going at an ungodly pace. "Embry.." You moan out as his teeth bite down on you.

Being this drunk, you don't finish, but you are okay with that. Embry did finish and plopped down on you. You both pass tf out.

You wake up sore and with a pounding headache. You still feel the alcohol a bit.

Embry is sprawled out next to you, naked. You stand up and put on his shirt and your shorts. You walk out of the room and see some of the guys passed out in your living room. You go into the bathroom and pee.

Plop.

You look down.

Condom.

Oh. God.

His semen has been inside you all night.

You clean yourself up and run into the living room. You tap Quil's face. "Hey, wake up. Emergency." You whisper yell.

He groans and twitches before sitting up. "What?" He asks snappy.

"I need a plan b. Quick."

His eyes widen. "Where's Embry?"

"Passed out. Take me to CVS or Walgreens. Help me. I'm still tipsy." You beg.

He nods his head and stands up.

He grabs the keys to your car and you both hurry outside. You buckle up and he pulls out of the driveway.

"Are you going to tell Embry?" He asks.

"I don't want him to panic." You breathe.

"Like how you are?" He smiles at you.

"Drive, Quil!" You whine.

"It's okay! Just take the plan b and the sperms will poof."

"Oh god." You groan and cover your face.

He pulls up into the CVS. "I'll pay for it. I'm also gonna get a drink. Want something?" He asks.

"No, I've got it." You reply.

"Birthday girl, shut up. Get out, let's go." He says.

You both get out of the car and walk inside. He goes to the coolers and you are walking around the feminine section. Nope.

Here? Nope.

Any? Nope.

You walk up to the lady at the pharmacy. "Ma'am? Is there any plan b?"

She looks at you with a frown. "No, sweetie. They run out fast. Try Walgreens."

Your stomach knots up, and you thank her, making your way to Quil. Why is he looking at bracelets?

"Quil." You say.

He jumps and smiles. He has two sodas in his hands, and he holds up a set of bracelets. "Friendship bracelets for us!"

You smile and shake your head. "Dork. They don't have any here. We have to go to Walgreens."

He checks out the stuff and you guys get in the car. "I want the green one." He take out the bracelet. He puts his on and hands you the other one.

You put it on and then gulp down your drink. "Next stop."

You guys make it at Walgreens. You walk inside quickly and look around for the pill. Fuck!

"Hey, ma'am? Are there any plan b's here?"

"No, sweetie. I'd look at CVS."

You get back in the car, slamming the door. Quil looks at you with concern. "Nothing?" He asks.

"We have to get it before Embry wakes up." You panic.

"Hey, hey. It's okay! We'll go to the next town over and look there."

As you two are driving to the next town, the gas tank starts dinging. Shit.

"Quil! We have to get to a gas station."

"I'm trying! Don't yell at me!" He panics.

"Sorry, sorry." You sit back and try to relax.

"We'll make it." He says.

You guys, in fact, did not make it. The car stops on the road. You turn to Quil, whose eyes are wide, and his hands grip the wheel. He is too scared to look at you.

"I know what's wrong with it... it ain't got no gas init." He quotes that meme.

You're sent off the edge. "Quil! Now is not the time to make jokes! What do we do?!" You panic again, breathing hard.

"Okay, stay in here. Keep the doors locked. I'm going to wolf walk there, get a tank of gas, and come back." He finally looks at you.

You nod your head quickly, hoping you don't get stolen while he's gone.

The road is empty, and you're surrounded by empty dirt with a single long road in front of you. You lay back in the seat, breathing calmly. Your stomach growls. Damn it. You check your phone to make sure Embry hasn't woken up yet. Thankfully, he hasn't.

You're hot, hungry, thirsty, and scared. But Quil acts fast as you see him running up to the car with a tank. He fills it up, and you unlock the doors so he can get back inside. He starts the car, and you guys drive off.

You guys get to Walgreens and see that it's CLOSED?!

"SHIT!" You yell.

Quil pats your shoulder. "We'll go to CVS."

The car ride has lasted way too long for you. Now, you're feeling sick. "Quil, pull over." You warn.

He looks over at you. "Why?" He asks.

You lean forward. "Quil..." You warn.

"Shit! Okay. Okay." He stops way too slow, and you throw up on the floorboard. It smells like actual death. Your throat burns, and your stomach feels even more empty.

"I'm so sorry." Quil says. He then makes a face and covers up his nose with his shirt.

You get out of the car and move to the back seat. "I have nothing to clean it with." You say and then lay down.

"It's okay. Stay put. I'll get us to CVS." He rolls down the windows and you take a nap.

"Y/n, wake up. We're here." He shakes you.

You sit up and get out of the car. The first thing you smell is your vomit and ew. You walk inside and you look. Looking. Looking.

YES! HERE!

You grab it quickly and check out. You run back to the car, getting in the back seat and open the box.

"Thank god!" Quil smiles.

You put the pill in your mouth and chug the rest of your drink. You wipe your mouth and then smile. "Thanks, Quil. Now take me home." You lay back down.

You are woken up with your head hitting the door and your body bouncing. You grab your head. "Ow." You groan.

"Sorry, we're back home." Quil says.

You get out of the car and walk inside with Quil. The house is still a wreck. You feel like asshole. Embry opens the bedroom door and steps out.

You stiffin' your body, scared that he'll panic when you tell him.

He scratches his side and yawns, walking in front of you and Quil. "What are you two doing?" He asks.

"We had to get a plan b." Quil spits out.

You make an angry face and turn to him.

He gasps and puts a bubble in his mouth to shut up. He looks down at the ground.

Embry nods his head, yawning again, kisses your cheek, and walks into the kitchen like it's nothing.

Oh.

[hazelfoureyes]

How are you so good at writing smut??? It legit makes my body warm all over and my brain fuzzy, you fucking smut wizard <3 do you have any tips on writing smut? Or just writing in general?

Thank you for such a compliment! 💖🥹This is mildly embarrassing-- but I really am so horny?? I am not playing a character. lol I am a goblin. When I watch porn (for pleasure) I just take in the sounds and the sights, really just going full art reviewer on that shit for inspo even when I'm not trying to.

"Wow his cock got so big suddenly, is he going to cum? his head his massive...omg he sunk it right back into that guy after he came?? he's still going!? DICKS CAN DO THAT?" *takes mental notes*

"Her hips kept pulling away there before she orgasmed, overstimulated a bit maybe, love how he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back down" *jots down on my notes app*

"wow the way he said that-- jesus I just got dizzy I need to hear <whatever character> say that." *writes Luci saying that shit immediately* I am unqualified to give tips on anything, but I'll tell you what I tend to do! For smut; I just focus on sensations, I think. We can all see what sex looks like! Imagining the feeling of it, that's whats so fucking hot to me. Why is that man moaning? What is he feeling that is so good? What made her legs shake like that? Yeah his dick went into her pussy. Nice. But like---- was it warm? did his head get caught on the way in, popping past that unyielding flesh untrained to his size, just at her entrance? did the feeling of wet walls and a tight grip make him go weak for a second, mind blank?

For general writing; oh geez....I have a super visual brain, so I just try my best to describe what I'm seeing.

If it feels like I've forced someone to say or do something, then I back up and try again.

I wrote a part in A Doe in Fall part 4 that I had to redo; I had reader slap the detective when he suggested maybe she was hitting on him, a man coming to intervene making Brady get nervous and apologize before leaving all flustered.

But I realized--- no, this reader is too smart. She would never make a scene like that, she wouldn't know what might happen. What if everyone watches her then sit with Alastor? What if people notice and somehow remember seeing him? What if they recognize him? I loved the scene but I had to remove it. She would never do that, even if I loved seeing it.

I try to just shut down a little and see what my brain throws out unfiltered. It's really mentally taxing. I'm either 100% focused or I can't do it. I proofread maybe 6 or 7 times, or more. I don't stop until I get through it at least once without edits, and if I find myself bored of reading it, then I walk away for a second. If I am too disinterested to read it again for proofreading or just feeling the flow of it, then why would anyone else want to?

Hazbin Smut Masterlist I spent way too long rereading before posting

I felt this like this wasn’t helpful at all 😭

[therealslimshakespeare]

The Passion of Johnny 🥀

Summary: Bucky Egan takes it upon himself to give some wedding night advice to his dearest and most cunty, capable and very Catholic captain. Did it have to be five minutes before the aisle walk? Did it have to be by the stale communion wafers? Did it have to have include practice fingering? Brady has so many objections but better to get this over with than have it bleed into Egan’s best man’s toast…

Requested? OH YES ✔️

Circa: late summer 1945

Warnings: so much innuendo and dirty talk, this is sex Ed, after all. Catholicism but it’s not really impacting shit beyond vibes, and a decent amount of homoeroticism…it’s war buddies in a church y’all. That’s a staple. Brief illusion to past male SA.

Full credit to my babe Ashely who more than co-wrote this, she was possessed by the spirit of Bucky Egan in our chat and out came this, I have merley sprinkled verbs and adjectives and cohesion throughout her masterpiece. And to Christi who added copious devastating one liners throughout and held my damn hand while I choked on this hotness

They’re in the back of the church, in the vestry room, attending to all those last minute wedding details -the ring checks, the tie-fixing, the last minute dizzy spells. And once left alone with him, Bucky spots the lump in the groom’s pressed slacks from across the room. He snickers. Ah this'll be fun. “C'mere kid...come talk to me.” he cajoles, “Ya fast? Ya loose? Feel like throwing up?”

Bucky claps him on the back extra hard and Jack coughs dryly, hands falling from his tie.

“Listen,” Bucky goes on without being answered, “good ole Father Peter Paul Frank whoever is gonna get up there and try and tell you all about marriage and devotion and all that jazz...and he means well. sure... but I wanna make sure this marriage starts off right...so let's have a little chat. I ever steered ya wrong, huh?”

“Bucky, I uh...kinda wanted a minute alone.”

Bucky racks his eyes over the pristine and quite filled out uniform. “Yeah trust me I got eyes kid, we can get you all settled so ya don't make a complete fool of yourself in front of the entire church.” Bucky for his part is smoking in church, after having lit a cigarette off the candles, and Brady supposes this talk is necessary. Not he thinks, for the education Bucky so benficently seeks to relay, but rather to stave off the likelihood of all these tips and tricks of the trade coming out in a groomsman’s toast.

Bucky’s rowdy, handsy behavior normally never bothered him. Until now. Every back slap and chest shove and cheek pinch has him feeling funny, tingly, oddly eager and terribly alive. Johnny shouldn’t have spent all night trying to tug one out in vain, now he’s a goddamn confused mess. But he knows he wants to please Bucky, unfortunately always has and in lieu of a father in his life today -though god knows this dangerous, grinning man is no replacement- he acquiesces. Jack takes a seat in this same room he did as a child to review his catechism and Ten Commandments, and marvels how despite all the partying of last evening and the week before, with booze and anecdotes and bawdy jokes flying like flack, Bucky would wait until they’re beside the stale, surplus communion wafers to discuss conjugal functions.

He's absolutely sweating and that makes sense, it’s August. But Bucky is clapping him on the back again, beginning the talk like they didn’t already do this routine, “Ya look great kid.” He compliments. “Almost as handsome as Ida.”

It’s a very sincere compliment, Jack knows this, and it makes him roll his eyes all the harder although his cheeks burn.

“Ya nervous? Yeah? Good. You should be.” —this is followed by a signature cheek slap. “-you’ve got maneuvers to learn.”

Jack’s eyes grow a little panicked. More than nervous then. He wasn't this hard before. But the more Bucky talks about ‘maneuvers’ he's getting almost fully so. Frantically smashing the front of his pants down, groaning, “Bucky, stop. I beg you, stop. I'm about to walk down the aisle!”

Another cheek smack. “Don’t fuckin' roll your eyes at me kid, where else ya gonna learn this? The goddamn Padre? Now listen up, those two fingers, raise your fingers, those two- what the hell is that one even doing? -not like that, c'mon take this seriously.” Bucky presumptuously adjusts Jack’s long, elegant fingers, “You ever felt a cat's tongue? You know how it's sorta rough, like sandpaper? Well there's this spot inside her, it's gonna feel sorta like that, only softer. And that's the magic spot, kid. I'm telling ya, aim for that spot and you'll be golden.”

Brady, he was pleased to see, was no longer rolling his eyes. The pupils, however, had taken over the blue. "Can I- can i get to it with my tongue, Bucky?"

“Uh, no, my dear young novice, but that shouldn’t stop ya from trying. Never stop trying to get at it with whatever, anything God or your job gives ya. Christ kid, you even seen a pussy before?"

Brady manages nothing more than a big swallow, "She showed me hers."

"She showed you- when?"

"Last Wednesday."

"She showed you her Tussy Muzzy last Wednesday? Holy hell, Miss Tilly!" Egan whoops loudly before Brady shushes him with a few scowling smacks to his chest. "Well, tell me, wha'd she say when she showed you her pussy?"

Brady begins to retract, "Sir I can't

-I can't say,"

"Oh listen up, listen up good and hard, right now. What a lady says? She means, and you should always listen to her, but she never says it when she means it. So you gotta remember it and file it away. To use against her later. Nicely, of course. Jack? Wha'd she say?"

Brady, with eyes heavenward and looking like all he was missing were the drops of blood, "She said she wanted me to take her and that it -it-it was throbbing and -fuck uh, that- that it would be mine Saturday, uh that’s today, that it’d be mine anyway? Oh Fuck."

Bucky, he sees, is eating this shit up. Bucky practically whoops again, right here in church. “Miss Tilly.” he murmurs in the most salacious voice ever. “Goddamn.” he utters, “GODDAMN!” a second time much louder.

Brady stares at the embroidery on the chapel cloth. Green and gold stitching interweaving to make leaves. Eternal life and shit.

“Well,” Bucky is rallying, “since ya seen one -fucking idiot not touchin' it when you could’ve…First rule of marriage: don't go turnin' down offered pussy. And you heard her, none of that timid chivalry shit, you take her, you hear me?”

“I’m hearing you sir.”

“Didn't think she was the type.” he whistles, still stuck on the fact that Miss Tilly Macon with her straw hats and white gloves begged Jack Brady to take her in a car seat just days before, “Right, well, tell me, did ya get a good look? Was she shiny?”

“It... glittered.” Brady spaces out recalling the petals of it in the red glow of the stop light.

“Well that’s good, we’ve got something to work from kid. Alright, that cat tongue I told ya about? Can’t get to it with your tongue, gonna need your fingers. Now c’mere, closer, come here dammit. Yeah ok, so,” Bucky holds up his palm, like he’s gonna swear an oath, “you're gonna find the spot and when ya do, you’re gonna rub and rub and keep rubbing -go on, try, try it against my hand, c'mon Jack don't be a prude"

Egan watches as Brady shamefacedly begins rubbing between Bucky's thumb and forefinger with surprising skill. The kid’s a natural. “Damn, fixing my headache, ok yeah like that uhuh.”

“It’s just the C major cord.” Brady rebuts with a small eye roll that morphs into a cringe in expectation of another loving slap.

But Bucky holds his peace and bites his lips, and Brady wants to please him so, he lets Bucky ramble on and do his odd little puppet show with his fingers.

When that is over, Bucky turns and casts about for his next prop before grabbing a stack of charity bibles, cigarette still hanging out of his mouth. He begins stacking the Bibles and pretending his fingers are now Tilly and Jack and the Bibles are a makeshift bed. Like Johnny doesn’t know what human limbs look like. And Brady, he knows he’s lost a great deal of mental capacity since seeing Tilly’s scared parts, -running into doorframes and spacing out during planning, to the point where Ida and Eugene think he needs to be shrinked- but this feels more than a little silly.

“Well that’s that part. But, back to the beginning.” Bucky straightens from his demonstration, puts one leg up on the desk and despite the absence of his animated fingers, the Bibles look terribly suggestive stacked there on the mahogany edge, “First thing,” he is pointing at Jack, “when you get upstairs, ya ask her...if she's ever had an ice cream cone in July.” Bucky is nodding with a big smirk that Brady feels like he should answer, “Know what I mean huh?”

Brady shakes his head and rubs his neck bashfully, to be perfectly honest he has suspicions but this is Bucky, and it’s safer to admit he hasn’t a goddamn clue. "I'm gettin' that the ice cream cone ain't literal.” He ventures.

“Trust me,” Bucky insists, “all this boring church business... the dancing, the punch, I'll make a nice little speech that won't make your ma keel over...soon you'll be the god damn ice cream cone right there in those nicely pressed pants.” Bucky saunters over to where Jack is sitting on the table top part of the desk, takes the back of his hand and whacks Jack's noticeable bulge. “There's your ice cream cone kid.”

Jack jumps back startled on the desktop, and Bucky cackles, muttering something about Goddamn Prudes and Jack has to keep shushing him.

“Anyway...so she gets a couple licks... and then..” Bucky is pacing and wagging his finger, “…you get a little taste of your own... real important now... work the tongue in that pretty little hole and get her started…”

Jack is about to hyperventilate at this point as Bucky starts throwing out more ice cream analogies. Lots about cream. And licking. Something about cherries. Then somehow baseball works it's way in. Predictably. So many bases, first and second and bats and stroking and more cream. There is a fly on the rim of the gold chalice, at least it’s stopped it’s buzzing little circles.

“Ya got stamina buddy boy?” -Jack has got no idea how to answer that. “Ya don't wanna be the husband who blows the second ya slide into home.”

“Trust me...after last night…” Jack grouches, letting the details slip through in his angry belligerence at his own stubborn erection.

“That sucker is from last night?” Bucky howls. “You friggin Catholics don't even wear rubber socks either do ya?” Bucky is rubbing his hands together, Brady feels half sick, half close to coming untouched from all this talk about condoms and such, “I'll be uncle Bucky before the year is out and the first one better be named after me!” Bucky crows, then softens as he sees Johnny’s overwhelmed face, “It's gonna be great kid, I'm telling ya.. worth all that Nazi camp bullshit.” He sniffs roughly, “Plus..uh, ya know Tilly seems like a swell girl...makes a decent meatloaf I heard...sickness and health all that jazz…” He comes closer and claps Jack on the shoulder a few times.

Brady feels the overwhelming and embarrassing need to assure him he’s always welcome to the meatloaf.

Bucky acknowledges this with a soft, saddened smile before his beautiful, capable hands slide up Brady’s stiff shoulders and come up to cradle Jack's sweaty, rosy face, “Damn proud of ya kid.” he swears gruffly, “Think of me when ya slide in tonight... Lord knows I'll be wishing I was there…” Bucky whistles but it doesn’t feel crass, not the way it did even ten minutes ago. Brady has a lump in his throat and a stupid desire to say ‘same’ but he doesn’t because it must be some sorta fucked for him to long after a man he fought for, a man he got ready to die with, a man he’d gone to hell for, a man who he’ll still be obeying. Even tonight of all nights. Maybe the camp fucked him up worse than he knew. Or maybe it’s just Bucky and how Bucky’s always been, how he’s always been around Bucky -always his aggravated fool.

Whatever Tilley will prove to be for Jack, she’s not that. And that’s as it should be. Still, he feels like meatloaf is a small thing to offer as those hands finally slide away.

💋 Hope you enjoyed! Feedback is a writer’s lifeblood, please feel free to scream in comments or the inbox, I love it and wanna hear it all. Trust me, nothing is “too dumb”. Your thoughts mean the world to me.

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Everything Is A Competition - Matthew Tkachuk

Pairing: Matthew Tkachuk x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 600+

Warning: normal tkachuk family activities

Twelve Fic of Christmas - Gingerbread Houses

Masterlist \ Hockey Masterlist

Knowing how competitive the Tkachuk household was, you should have seen this coming. Every little thing they did they made it a competition. Of course, they would fight over who could build the better gingerbread house. How foolish of you to think they wouldn't. 

"Me and dad are totally going to win!" Taryn's voice outpowered her brother's bickering making the two roll their eyes. 

"Yeah. You two could not work together to save your life." Keith piped in wearing a proud smile at the thought of him and Taryn sweeping the boys. 

"Who said we're teaming up?" Brady smirked making the father-daughter duo frown. 

"It's Brady and Emma then me and my girl." Matthew wore the cockiest smile you've seen outside of hockey. One would mistake him for betting on a game. 

"We are?" You asked turning to Emma who wore the same confused look as you.

"Yes, you are," Matthew answered for you. 

That's how you found yourself sitting next to Matthew with pieces of gingerbread, candy, and icing all around you. The last time you tried to assemble a gingerbread house was in high school so there wasn't any hope. But one thing about being paired with a Tkachuk they are going to make you feel like the star player and everything was in your hands.

"We are so going to win this," Matthew mumbled mainly to himself concentrating on what pieces were the wall and what was the roof. 

"Just to let you know I haven't built one of these since high school so not sure how helpful I'll be." You confessed prepping the icing bag and waiting for whatever he told you to do. 

"Well lucky for the both of us, you're good at everything." He winked over as heat rushed to your cheeks. Of course, he would charm his way with this.

That's how you found yourself determined to make the gingerbread house look somewhat good. If anything you were a fabulous decorator and took the placement of every candy seriously. Matthew was quite good at making sure the structure held up. Sure there was some cursing and groaning the first few attempts at making sure it wouldn't fall, but after finding the trick with the frosting, he was unstoppable. 

It took the better half of half an hour for everyone to be done. Each Tkachuk smiled proudly at their creation while you and Emma were just happy it was over. Looking over each gingerbread house everyone did pretty well, but there were clear signs of what parts the females did compared to the men. 

"Okay now to decide who wins!" Taryn clapped her hands together excited to be taking home the win. 

"Well, mom?" Brady turned to his mother who chuckled at her family's antics. She was used to them doing so many competitions at this point she would just pick a random kid despite if they actually did good or not. 

"It's Christmas, all of you win." At that everyone let out a form of a groan or complaint. 

"C'mon, mom!" Matthew begged from beside you, clearly wanting a be crowned the winner. 

"Fine fine, the girls win."

"How?! There's a girl on every team!" Brady's voice boomed through the living room, clearly disappointed his mother was beating around the bush. 

 "Exactly. Now can we please go enjoy dinner."

"Of course, come on kids." Keith surrendered to the arguing, following his wife into the kitchen. 

"Well, that's fair, I win out of the both of you," Taryn said turning to her brothers and sticking out a teasing tongue before following her parents into the kitchen. 

"I don't care what anyone says we won, thanks to you." Matthew turned to you with a big smile, opposite to the frown he was wearing just a moment ago. 

"Doubt that, but it was fun."

"Anything with you is fun." He winked leaning in for a kiss.

"You guys are so disgusting," Brady said as he had an arm around Emma who was laughing at her husband's comment. 

"Says the married guy!"