#all i know is that I wouldn't resist Elvis... no way in hell

[hooked-on-elvis]

Now those pictures of the vacation in Hawaii in 1977, on top of Shirley saying Elvis was sticking his tongue in her ear on that moment, just reached a new level of... craziness.

“Here Elvis was asking Joe to take pictures of me with him. I was totally surprised as Elvis reached up to me, and then motioned for me to sit down by him. I had asked him a few weeks back to record, “In the Misty Moonlight.” Elvis had told me that he would record it, and he began to sing it softly in my ear. I giggled more and then he jokingly stuck his tongue in my ear, I giggled more and then he continued until I couldn’t stop laughing. When I look back on those pictures, I can see how happy Elvis and I both were. It was a special time for me, and I will always remember as if it were yesterday, I am so grateful that Elvis asked Joe to take those photos.” — Shirley Dieu

Below: Shirley, Elvis, Joe and Ginger during the same trip (Hawaii, March 1977).

Extract from: Memphis Mafia Princess: Living in the Elvis world- Shirley Dieu

If I found Elvis in the dark trying to do that, I would be done for honestly 😩

[bitter-panacea]

Goultard's backstory, comparing the Dofus manga and the special episode Part 2 - Falling in love

Part 1

The special ep and the manga are the most different when it comes to Goultard falling in love.

The most notable difference is that Goultard falls in love with one witch instead of three. Certainly because they thought Gou having three girlfriends/wives at the same time wouldn't be politically correct enough for a short film meant to be showed to french tv channels as a way to prove Ankama had what it takes to make a tv show (Wakfu).

In the manga, Goultard goes after a trio of witches, the dark sisters, who keep stealing food from their village and causing chaos. He's not really interested in stopping them, really he's just charmed and intrigued... (maybe he's kinda fascinated... and wishes he could be free like they are idk idk maybe who knows)

Kiki : Alright girls, I've got everything we need... Let's go!

Guy : Well, Goultard? What the hell were you doing? These three witches ransacked the whole village! And you didn't even lift a finger!

Goultard : I... I don't know, I wasn't myself, they must have cast a spell on me... / Guy : A spell? My ass. You're losing it! Talk about a hero... You're a pervert, that's what you are!

The way this guy talks to him like he's a completely useless imbecile really proves Goultard's only respected as long as he does what people expect him to do...

So he throws a large boulder the size of a small boulder at them, making them drop the bag of stolen food.

Kiki : Listen little peasant, we don't want to hurt you. Give us that bag and you'll leave safe and sound. / Elvie : Pretty cute for a little peasant.

Goultard : Shush... A small demonstration is better than a long speech...

Kiki : You think we're impressed, you pretentious macho? (Still... A tree with only one finger!) Let's see what you can do againsnt our magic powers!

Dark sisters : Take this! / Goultard : I wonder which one is the cutest...

They insult him, make fun of him, threaten and eventually attack him... and I guess that totally does it for Goultard. This is also exactly what Algathe did before he fell in love with her, so I'm pretty sure that's just his type.

Goultard : Now, you've really gone too far... You've burnt all my clothes off! (Gou like "teehee oops i'm naked lol ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ " )

Kiki : It's impossible... No man can resist our magic! / Elvie : Seems like he can.

Goultard : Now, may I give you some advice? / Kiki : Keep your advice and take this!

Goultard : Please, don't make me hurt you! / Kiki : Ow, my arm. Where does this strength come from?

Goultard : No idea, I've always been pretty sturdy... Now, if you'll excuse me... I believe this bag of provisions must be returned to its real owner. See you later, girls! (omg nobody look! he's ass)

Ah yes... No creature could resist Goultard, whether monstrous or feminine... / Kiki : What a guy... / Elvie : I'd like casting a love spell on him.

They dont ever say it, but you cant make me believe that these three "single" witches, who people call "sisters", (who lived together secluded from "respectable society"?) and did petty crimes together, weren't all dating one another. Goultard was just the latest addition to their cute little polycule. Thanks to his idiot rizz. And supposedly huge dick (If Elvie says so I believe her)

Elvie : Oh! Now that's what I call a magic wand!

His dick pictured here, here and here (pictures kindly provided by @dj-m0th thank you lmao)

( ＾◡＾)っ✂╰⋃╯No!! you leave that thang alone!!

In the special episode, the unnamed witch initiates the flirting with Goultard.

She IS very cute even if she doesn't seem mean like Goultard usually likes.

They dont waste any time getting to know each other. As shown here by this VERY subtle broom riding illustration.

In the manga, the relationship takes a little more time to develop.

Thus, after a few months, the relationship between goultard and the dark sisters grew friendlier. They first began by repairing the damage they had caused and helped Goultard to fend off the most aggressive monsters.

Over time, the three sisters and goultard became more intimate / Kiki : Take your finger out of there, naughty boy...

Looks like they're having fun. Good for them, good for them....

His wedding was magnificent and thousands of warriors came to pay homage. They were even surprised to see some former enemies arrive during the ceremony.

(Cabotine isn't there, is she dead?)

Life went on and Goultard was the happiest hero in the world. / Monster : Goultard, you little worm, come taste my balls... / Goultard : Stay in bed, girls, I'll be back in five minutes... (He'll be back right after tasting this dude's balls I guess)

They had many children and lived happily ever after

They have four children, three boys and a girl. Riri, Fifi, Loulou, what the fuck is the daughter's name oh my god (Fun fact : Riri, Fifi and Loulou are the names of Donald Duck's nephews in french)

Goultard's family is what he cherishes the most in the entire world. He truly loves that simple domestic lifestyle....

And this is it! Happy ending! No looming threat in the dark and certainly no part 3 to this post.

Part 3 Part 4

[elvisabutler]

so in lieu of me actually posting any fic/blurbs/anything other than the elvis story anon's stuff. i present random snippets of things being written.

don't they know that halloween was vanessa and austin's thing? seriously, this is embarrassing. it's like walmart brand vaustin.

lol no it's dollar store vaustin.

fits when she's a thrift store vanessa. - i don't actually have a title for this.

"austin isn't- austin's been ignoring you half the night and now he's got to leave? babe, his call time isn't that early. why do you think i'm still here?"

"because you're a glutton for punishment?"

"i've been watching you try and kiss him instead of coming to rescue you. you might have a point."

"is that what this is? a rescue?"

"maybe. depends on if you let me kiss you." - boyfriend ( olivia x reader )

elvis is used to dancing, he's used having his hips move every which way but loose. well, maybe there was that one time they went a bit loose but that was between him, that audience and god. - the walls have ears elvis thing I AM LIKE A BABY DEER WITH THIS ONE.

"you already know how to cook and you're in a cooking class." you purse your lips. "why?"

"i forgot how to make boxed mac and cheese. figured i might need a refresher on the basics."

"the instructions are on the-"

"box. yeah. i still burnt it."

"oh wow." - cooking is my love language ( austin x reader )

from the way he was acting though, apparently it was. apparently you were the bad sub who broke the rule and now you get this sad- attempt at attention. you want to pout about it, honestly, you want to march right up to him and ask if he gets off on leaving subs hanging. you thought he didn’t and yet here he was just leaving you hanging, wanting for more while not giving you anything beyond little crumbs. - simply aware i'm hard to resist ( priscilla actress reader x austin )

you cry so hard you swear your eyes are going to forget what it's like to not be swollen. he tries to break out of the hospital when he realizes how bad you're crying because something has to be so very very wrong if his dove is crying like that. you never cry like that.

"it's fine, daddy." you hiccup. "i'm fine, austin."

"you're not, dove, you're not. tell me what's wrong, i'll- i need to fix it. they can let me out. i'll demand they let me out."

you so rarely call him austin any more unless you were on set. something is wrong and he knows it but the haze of the pain medication makes him forget any clarity he has about it. - this hc/blurb priscilla reader thing

it starts as all things do with austin for the question. a simple question mind you, not anything particularly complicated or something that might be hard to answer. no just a simple question.

"have you ever been to disney world?" austin asks completely out of the blue while leaning against your shoulder as the two of you sit on the couch. - this adorable little austin x reader imagine ( i really gotta apologize to this anon, it's not you, it's me. i forgot how to amusement park )

"the last time you told me you were firing the colonel you ended up here. remember what i said, elvis?"

"don't let him clip your wings, yeah, 'cilla i remember. it's different this time."

and!

"the hell is this?"

"a bill for services rendered by jamboree attractions."

"gas for- i didn't ask you to come to the hayride! how- is this thing full of bullshit like this?" - caught in a trap pt. 4

"you shot at the tv once elvis. i-"

"i ain't feeling like that tonight, doll. i wouldn't shoot you." a pause. "just wanna see you gagging on my favorite thig other than you and my dick."

"you want me to deep throat your pistol?"

"mmhmm." - russian roulette ( the gun kink )

"baby what are you- put the blade down baby."

"you mean you got to play with me and get me all bothered only for you to be too scared of me playing with it?"

"i didn't say i was scared. but i wanna fuck you, not watch you drag a blade across me."

"we can do both. sir." - more knife kink apparently?? ( blame my partner in crime. )

you shrug, crossing your legs in an attempt to push up your skirt without actually pushing up your skirt. "i imagine she'd have taken it like a good girl because she's so in love with you because she's 18 and you're the only guy she's ever really known. or she'd have run home screaming. either one would have been fine with me because i still get all of mr. presley's sugar all to myself."

he practically barks out his laugh as he pulls your chin closer to him. "mr. presley. i know you weren't talking about me with that title. gonna tell me you're cheating on me with my daddy now?" - sugar daddy 60s elvis fic

[bbrandy2002]

Fool’s Rush In

Part 10

I’m participating in @wackydrabbles​ prompt 71 “Dont be stubborn. Try it.”

Word Count: 1890

Pairing: Liam and Riley

Thanks @burnsoslow​ for beta reading and pretty much having to drag me across the finish line, as well as all the weeks and weeks of listening to me whine and pity myself.  And @emkay512​ for pre-reading and your encouraging words late Monday that made my whole night.

a/n: this is crack, plain and simple. I haven’t written since mid-october; just been paralyzed with fear over my own writing and this is my practice run and basically the best I could come up with. I’m going to try so so hard to finish this series

The new royal couple, fresh off their Vegas flight, stepped up to a makeshift podium the press had created on the tarmac. It was packed tightly with news station microphones crammed in every nook and cranny, one on top of the other. Voice recorders were spread across its surface, and the crown's private jet served as the backdrop. A bevy of frenzied reporters -- domestic and international -- pushed and elbowed their way into one another in hopes of getting the closest shot of the newlyweds and a chance to have their questions answered first.

“King Liam! Is the marriage binding?”

“How long have you known, Miss Brooks?”

“Were you trying to make a political statement by having a hooker at the ceremony?”

“Your Majesty! Will the monkey be joining your court soon?”

So many questions, most followed by laughter and snickers directed at the King and his bride.

Liam frowned as his eyes dashed side to side in a diligent effort to understand the literally thousands of questions that were lobbed at him all at once. He blinked rapidly as one flash of a camera after the next blinded and bleached his vision. Just as it would return to normal, another successive set of flashes would set him back again.

He had been a part of news conferences since he was a child, when he would watch his late father speak from different parts of the world, near and far, about this policy or that deal. Yet this was different. This was not only the biggest breaking story in Cordonia -- or even Europe -- but one that had swept the world. 

His drunken actions two nights ago, no doubt, would have created a stir; however, it was Maxwell's post on Instagram of the ceremony that now made him tabloid fodder. Everyone knew about the king who was married by his own brother and an Elvis impersonator, the leg-humping monkey that served as a ring bearer, and the chain-smoking, tube-top-wearing prostitute who was the maid of honor. As confident as Liam had been that he could handle this, as he'd dealt with so many other stories of intrigue regarding the monarchy, he couldn't dispel the twisting feeling that burrowed deep into the pit of his stomach.

Maybe Madeleine was right: he had become a laughingstock. A failure. Just one big fuck up.

As much as he hated to hear the things said about him, he could deal with it. In the morning, he would call Prince Harry to swap stories, survival tips, and perhaps share a good laugh about it.

It was just ...

Liam felt Riley's tiny hand grip his a little tighter. He wouldn't blame her one bit if his little pussycat turned around and headed back up the steps to the jet and returned to Las Vegas. The only thing Liam wanted to do was keep her shielded from the hurtful comments and insensitive questions. But to his astonishment, she stood there with all the feigned confidence in the world, flashing a big, beaming smile that lit his heart on fire, while staring back at him affectionately. She was handling the situation better than she was before they stepped off the plane. He knew she was doing it for him. God, she just makes everything better. 

Feeling a little more grounded and in control, Liam returned her smile. A touch of radiance sparkled between his eyes and hers, as if it were some sort of unspoken conversation only they understood. Riley knew exactly what he needed at that moment to rise above this scandal they were both being raked over the coals for: He needed her to be okay.

Raising his free hand to calm the crowd so that he might address their concerns, he noticed the press' attention and cameras suddenly shift away from him and into the distance. Murmurs and chatter soon erupted. Naturally, Liam's gaze followed suit -- towards a group of heavily-armed soldiers heading their way. They wore white hazmat uniforms and had self-contained breathing apparatus and personal protective equipment. Leading the charge was a well-dressed gentleman in a three-piece suit with a shiny bald head that glistened with heavy perspiration. 

He walked like he hadn't shit in weeks.

Liam squinted and lifted a hand to shield his eyes from the bright sunlight. “The hell is that?”

Riley inched closer to Liam and clasped his suit jacket. "What's happening right now? Who are all those people, Liam?"

Liam's forehead creased in puzzlement; he didn't know. Wrapping his arms protectively around Riley, he pulled her even closer but never answered the question. It wasn't until the uniformed men stopped briefly and pointed to Drake, who was standing with his arms crossed at the bottom of the stairs, that it suddenly became clear who they were looking for.

Reporters and onlookers had been so focused on Liam’s return with the American woman, they hadn’t noticed that the brooding Walker had exited the jet last among their posse. Just as everyone had watched replays and snippets of Maxwell’s Instagram video, they were also fully aware the King’s best friend wasn’t exactly returning to Cordonia … healthy … thanks to Maxwell’s Tik Tok sing-along. 

A video Drake Walker had no clue existed. 

 The crowd began to disperse in fear and panic. If men in hazmat suits were needed, they could only assume this went well beyond your casual, run-of-the-mill STD.

Still in no mood to play around, Drake started yelling obscenities and gradually backing away from the hazmat brigade that was closing in on him like a cheetah at a water buffalo hole. 

"Mr. Walker," a heavily echoed voice called out, sounding oddly reminiscent of Darth Vader through their breathing contraption, "we need you to come with us."

"The fuck I do." Drake shook his head emphatically while continuing to slide away from them. "I'll beat the shit out of all of ya if you so much as touch me."

"Now, Mr. Walker, don't be stubborn. Try it, and you'll find yourself with a nice little tranquilizer to the ass. Are you going to come with us willingly, or do we have to make this more difficult than it needs to be?"

Drake stood motionless in disbelief. "I don't even know what you guys want or what you think I did," he squawked with a hint of desperation in his tone.

"Tough titties. SEIZE HIM!"

With that order, Drake twisted on the heels of his boots and took off, dodging and weaving away from a bunch of men he had no clue why were even after him. 

He had a pretty good hunch, though, who set this chain of events in motion.

The bald guy in a three-piece suit walked up to Liam and flipped his badge open. "Your Majesty?"

Liam nodded, not bothering to acknowledge the man's credentials. "I am. What is the meaning of all this? What the hell are you doing with Drake?"

"Sir, if you will, it has come to our attention that Mr. Walker is a public health risk and highly contagious. We will have to secure him into our custody at once."

Liam scrunched up his face in utter confusion and stared back at the official before responding, “He just has case of crabs, syphilis, herpes, genital warts, gonorrhea, and chlamydia. You’re treating him like he’s about to start some damn worldwide pandemic. Without sexual contact and with heavy doses of medications and creams, Drake should be able to live a normal life like anyone else. So, as the ruler of this country, I am ordering your men to stand down at once.”

“My apologies, King Liam, but my orders come from the World Health Organization and the United Nations. You'll need to take this up with them. Dr. Wolfschitz was clear on the protocol."

"Dr. Wolfschitz?" Liam questioned as realization quickly set in. He twisted around to face Leo, who had this enormous shit-eating grin, the likes he'd never seen on him before. "You? You did this?"

“Walker messed with the wrong bull, little bro.” Leo stuck up his pointer fingers on both sides of his head with a menacing scowl and smugness in his tone. “Now he gets the horns.”

Liam swatted away one of Leo's finger horns. “This is serious, Leo. Not everything is a joke! You're going to fix this, NOW!"

Leo placed a comforting hand on his younger brother’s shoulder, patting it a few times before speaking softly to him. “Look, I know you’re upset right now. You two were very close. But the Drakester is going to a far better place. There’s a big open field and everything where he can run and play all day with others just like him. And all the meaty bones he can eat too … lucky bastard.”

Riley had to bury her face in Liam’s chest to prevent the laugh that threatened to escape, but the bobbing of her shoulders was something she couldn’t hide. 

“NOW, Leo!” 

Leo tried to hold his ground but was too weak to resist the impatient glare Liam was burning into his soul. After a brief moment, he rolled his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. "Why ya gotta be such a dillhole, Liam? Do you realize you get rattled faster than a two-tit turtle on a tightrope? It's really not your best quality, little brother, but we can work on that." Annoyed, Liam rubbed a hand over his eyes and groaned as his brother continued, "Either way, Father always said, ‘if you can't help your fellow man out, you might as well become one of the Walkers.’ Truer words were never spoken so eloquently.”  Leo raised his eyes to the heavens thoughtfully before thinking better of it and lowered them toward the ground. "May you rest in peace, Father," he shouted.

As Leo trotted off to speak with Bald Dude to confess his false claim, Bastien helped guide Liam and Riley through the rambunctious swarm of reporters and spectators. Once they reached the limo, Liam helped Riley inside as Maxwell rounded the vehicle and climbed in on the other side. Pausing for a moment before sliding in, the King placed his hands on top of the open door of the limo and turned one last time to check on his friend. He swallowed hard over the guilt of leaving him behind. As His Majesty watched in horror, Drake took a tranquilizer dart to the back of the thigh and Bastien insisted the area was a security threat, shoving him inside. They would send another car to transport Drake and Leo back to the palace. 

Bastien stomped on the gas pedal and sped off, kicking up dirt and smoke as the tires peeled and squealed against the fiery Cordonian asphalt.

When they passed through the airport's security gate, a small motorcade following closely behind, Liam finally lifted his head, his eyes growing wide when he realized what just happened: Bastien's shove had sent Liam flying across the seat to land face-first into a lap — her lap. 

He stayed frozen in place, unable to look anywhere but the two slender, bronzed legs peeking out below the hem of his new wife's dress. 

Riley lifted an eyebrow, a slight grin dangling from her plush pink lips. "Something you wanna say, Your Majesty?"

Everything that had just happened in the 15 minutes since they landed was long forgotten. Drake who? Liam glanced up with a devilish smirk. "Welcome to Cordonia, Pussycat."

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Liam x MC only: Cordonia-gothqueen

Anything with Drake: @tinkie1973

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