#alisaie thinks it's hilarious

[the-random-tyler]

You have to start somewhere, right?

[fisherrprince]

oh so alisaie’s exaggerated bully behavior is 80% fanon. saying this she casually picks up a large rock

[soleilzing]

I've seen a lot of disappointment that we aren't getting the twins' growth spurt for 7.0 based on the fanfest trailer. Correct me if I'm wrong, but we never saw a shot of Alphinaud, so it's possible Squeinx is about to do the funniest thing ever and give us Tallphinaud while Alisaie seethes.

[enavant]

━━ ❥❥❥ @ichoric feat. alisaie : 27)  sender is trying to do something rash so receiver simply picks them up to make them stop and listen.  ( from ali, or just grab the back of her jacket like a kitten kgndk )   PICKING UP / CARRYING MUSE PROMPTS ━━ accepting !!

      THERE IS A TIME && PLACE for everything — && despite how reckless j'isu can be at times of her own, she's gained the experience of living life much longer && knowing when to not exacerbate a situation ( she is flawed, yes, she does not wish to think of her own recklessness, however, differing to curbing the girl's instead ).

      gilded claws of fingers clasp to the back of the girl's jacket as emotions rise && she starts her journey toward the rash — she knows first hand the signs, owing to her own reactions when she lets her heightened emotions make decisions for her. a gentle tug is given, enough to pull the young elezen back to her side — reminding her so starkly of protecting her own brother when she was young, that same protectiveness shining through even now.

      ❝ as infuriating as it is to stay your hand, we shall think of another way. i rather mislike the idea of losing you to a rash decision, alisaie. ❞

[haunted-xander]

Finished the 6.55 MSQ so here's my (very positive) thoughts:

‌Love love LOVE Wuk Lamat she's so fun and her dynamic with Erenville is hilarious. Very excited to see more of her in Dawntrail.

‌Krile is already getting some nice scenes and I'm very happy she's finally gonna get the spotlight in dt. My girls been side-lined for 4 expacs it's about damn time she gets to shine.

‌The inventor of Pictomancy is literally Relm. Like they name drop her. Obv not the same Relm as in VI but still! Relm is real! And she was an Archon! tbh them naming an important character related to this type of magic after her isn't surprising- I just expected it to be something in the job quests rather than the MSQ.

‌Zero made super-spicy dishes popular in Thavnair lol. Wuk Lamat trying to toughen it out was hilarious. God I love her.

‌Wuk Lamat & Erenville being childhood friends was not something I expected! Very fun.

‌The catboy from the dawntrail promotional artwork is probably Wuk Lamat's brother, Koana(Was that his name? tbh I forgot. But she has a Miqo brother that's what's important). He looks smart, and it's possible he's gonna be another candidate claiming for the throne.

‌Based on the artwork, I had figured our main group was gonna be WoL, Krile, Thancred and Urianger, as they are the only Scions featured, but based on the quest it'll probably be Wol, Krile, Alphinaud and Alisaie. G'raha is allegedly staying behind, but since he's shown in Tural in the trailer I think he'll find an excuse to come along anyway lol.

‌Thancred and Urianger are going to be competing against us, which will be interesting. I think it'll be fun to see some of the Scions take on a more rival-y role, if only for a bit. It looks like they were petitioned by someone else participating in the Rite of Succession, so maybe they're working for Miqo boy? They're on his side of the artwork after all 🤔

‌(Also I think the writers know how popular those two have gotten together lol they're like making it a point to have them with each other at all times)

‌Estinien is going to Tural just for the hell of it which I think is hilariously in character. Literally going there at the same time as us purely by coincidence. He really can't escape us can he.

‌Y'shtola is neither seen nor heard of which tbh I think is fair given how much screentime and focus she got during the whole Zero arc. I do wonder why she's going to Tural tho, she's in the trailer too so I'm certain she will be there.

‌(Also, since G'raha, Estinien and Y'shtola aren't aligned with any particular side as of now, I think they'll be a neutral third party in the Succession rivalries going on. That, or they'll end up siding with the 3rd sibling that isn't the Obvious Villain (based on Wuk Lamat and Erenville's accounts) somehow. Will be fun to see in any case.)

‌The little memory dialogue from Emet was nice :) just a reminder of the adventures yet to be had. Also he's finally in the unending codex which I think is nice (ngl I kinda forgot about the codex until he got added to it)

ALSO I almost forgot to include it BUT we have a nice heart-to-heart scene with G'raha alone on a bridge and if the writers weren't COWARDS (and/or worried about romance ambiguity, at least for those relating to the WoL) he could've proposed to us then and there. You know he wants you. Do not hold him back writers let him do what he wants. (I'd have said yes ofc)

‌Backpack :)

[ofdarklands]

Fear and secret for mitr'a cause I straight up can't guess what this guy would be afraid of

fear: What is your OC's greatest fear? What do they do when confronted with it? Are they open with their fear, or do they hide it away?

i don't think he has one big simple fear i can think of

there'd be the fear of a slow death being trapped or ill or wounded in the shroud. either someone finds you (unlikely) or you waste away. it came close a couple times, before arr. though this is now less of a worry with whm spells and the drk tricks and return, which add a lot of options

there's also the old worry about his clan's safety, and the novel fears over the twins and tataru and the scions. nothing debilitating but they do linger sometimes. he doesn't usually allow the thoughts much braintime; he knows they can take care of themselves

the silent dread of slowly losing his thoughts now, after shb

in more immediate fears, like being startled or during fights or high tension moments, his flight or fight instincts are so firmly stuck on fight he's not even afraid, he's just biting you because you startled him. and then the moment is past and he's fine. this is what happened in In From The Cold for example. he ended up Fucking Furious instead of afraid and then just frustrated. also he had not slept in like 2 days so some functions were turned off

.

secret: What's one secret your OC never wants anyone to know about them?

huh. i don't think he intentionally keeps secrets? he just doesn't think to mention things he's doing/done, to often hilarious results

at most he has things he would not say to specific people not because they're secrets about himself but because the specific person would not enjoy it. unless the person asks directly

like, he's not telling the twins about ameliance, he's not using his rdm skills in front of alisaie, or told g'raha about the unpleasant time between laying the soul vessel on him in the tower and him actually coming online. he generally avoids mentioning the keeper approach to relationships and sex in front of eorzeans because the confusion is boring by now

i guess one thing that counts as a proper secret during arr-ew is the exact location of his clan. absolutely not loosening his lips on that while there were ascians about. he didn't even visit during those 4-5 years. if anyone asked, his address was nowhere and he came up fully formed from the ground

anyway, he is fundamentally a pretty transparent person, as long as you ask the right questions. and if he's in the proper mood to answer; otherwise he might fuck with you for fun, not out of secrecy

[keicordelle]

The Adventures of an Inconvenient Au Ra: Fear

There was not much that frightened Keshet - or at least, that was what he would tell you, if you worked up the courage to ask. Death seemed to be the big thing that loomed large in everyone else's minds, and death really didn't bother Keshet all that much. It would be inconvenient, sure, but it didn't scare him. He'd died before.

Spiders, heights, needles, none of these things scared him. He was wary of spiders, sure. He wasn't stupid, and it only took getting bit in the sensitive line where scales met skin on his thigh once to know that he really really didn't want to find one in his blankets, but he certainly had no qualms about properly disposing of one of he did happen to find it getting a little too friendly with him. Sure, heights sometimes made his stomach flip in his gut if he looked down from astride his yol, but it was more exhilarating than frightening. And as for needles, well, every Dotharl worth the name learns to get over that fear very quickly, if they want to keep their viscera on the inside of their body.

So no, if you asked Keshet what frightened him, he would have much to offer up in answer.

If you were to ask the rest of the Scions, however...

"Loud noises," Alisaie would say with a snicker. "He jumps out of his skin if you sneak up behind him and shout 'Boo.' It's hilarious to watch."

"Worms," from Estinien. "No, not wyrms. Worms. The little ones. Give him the ‘heebie jeebies’ he says. How should I know why? I didn't ask. Everyone's got their issues."

"Y'shtola," Thancred would offer with an easy laugh. "And who can blame him?"

"He would never admit it, but I think he's afraid of being alone. Though I'd ask that you not repeat that to him," Alphinaud might say, if you could convince him to give away what he deems to be a secret.

Y'shtola, cryptic as ever. "He fears the dark as much as he fears the light, within and without. But most of all, he fears himself."

And Urianger, purveyor of secrets and weaving the threads of a truth more accurate than Keshet would dare admit even to himself: "Our Warrior fears not death, but loss, in whatever form it might take. He hides it well, but grief weighs most heavily on him, he who is not practiced in its suffering."

And maybe there was a grain of truth to them, one and all. Or giant, uncomfortable boulders of truth, in some cases. But if ever Keshet were to hear what the others thought he feared, well. "Maybe I should just claim to be afraid of spiders."

-

Read the rest of the series on Ao3!

Masterlist | Prev | Next

[tobyfoxmademeascaly]

Dawntrail Part 15

hey there's no way we're finding the golden city this early right. right?

OH FUCK I GOTTA LEAVE SOMEONE BEHIND FOR THIS DUNGEON

my face putting alisaie on the bench because krile and wuk lamat are more plot-relevant right now

ah, yes. the pit full of dead kids

... suspiciously ourble

the thing is, Solution Nine, the city that's been shown to us during cons and such, is on the NORTHERN half of the continent, we aren't there. So what the hell is this?

In which alisaie echoes the sentiments of the playerbase. I personally have a feeling that its NOT the Allagans. It's Weirder.

... especially since I saw an item description with the term "Alexandrian."

... I have a BAD feeling about this...

... what's with the slight Dutch Angle. Why is the camera doing this

NO DON'T SEND ME BACK TO THE CITY THE GATE IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING I KNOW IT

... Uh oh.

... because she's waiting to make it a surprise right. right. (hoping)

i have once again been jumpscared by an incidental socal rabbit

MS KITTY I LOVE YOU

LETS GO POGS IN THE CHAT LADS

I CALLED IT!

wait so not only has gulool ja ja been half-asleep this entire time, he's been half-dead? that's hardcore.

yeah I was thinking about that. its been like 80 years since tuliyollal's founding, so he's gotta be like 100, right?

... oh. uh, that doesn't matter much, since he's just been stabbed.

ohhh of course lamaty'i

... yeah. pretty easy.

EVERY city leader wants the WoL. it's hilarious.

girl im so sorry. the quest level is 95.

So that's what we'll busy ourselves with until the plot rears its ugly head again

uh oh.

UH OH

I think this is the only time we've seen zoraal ja smile so far. I don't like it.

RIP to Evil Vizier guy. claimed by the dangers of the job

Next Time: a quick trip to north america

[dainesanddaffodils]

So i whipped through Stormblood at concerning speeds and am full of thoughts! so here again are my WoL's feelings on the many characters she knows/met.

Thoughts post-ARR | Thoughts post-Heavensward

Without further ado - Cimorene Greystone's Post-Stormblood Relationship Vibes

Lyse - a little similar to Cimorene's feelings toward Alphinaud in A Realm Reborn (though definitely not as bad). Cares about her very much, agrees with her cause VERY MUCH, but also. she is a lot sometimes and Cimorene isn't always sure how to interact with her. Will always have her back though and is very proud of her.

Alphinaud - that remains her baby brother, don't fucking touch him. still feels closest to him of all of her companions, new and old.

Alisaie - that remains her baby sister, don't fucking touch her. Cimorene worries about her a lot and has resolved to never abandon her.

Hancock - Tangy, the player, thinks he's hilarious and also my friend has a wolship with him (started as a joke, became Not A Joke) so that kinda colored Cimorene's interactions with him. I think she likes him in spite of herself, honestly.

Yugiri - lizard solidarity. Definitely feels a sisterhood with her and cares about her very much. Feels very protective of her, feeling the need to be a tempering force in her life to balance out her passion and idealism re: Doma - and if that didn't work, at least guard her from those ideals getting her killed.

Gosetsu - Cimorene adores him, there isn't much more she can say than that. He’s a good man and she is genuinely surprised he survived and had, while not a happy end to his story, at least a peaceful one - it’s more than most good men in her life get.

Hien - Reminds her of her late husband so much. She's not into him that way, but still is very fond of him because of those similarities. Worries about him the same way she worries about Yugiri and feels a fierce determination to not lose him.

Cirina - That's Cimorene's cousin! Distant cousin but still, they're related on her dad's side and Cimorene immediately notes the similarities when she meets her and the Mol.

(Her father never told her what clan he'd been from, just that he, like most Xaela, was from the Steppe. She didn't have a lot of strong feelings towards the other people she met within the clans because she was kind of assaulted with A LOT OF INFO about who she is and where she came from at this point lmao)

Raubahn - 10/10 man of all time. if Cimorene was in the market for a replacement father it would be him, unquestionably

Zenos - not only hates him but hates him a distinctly uninteresting way. He died and she stopped thinking about him immediately (and when any mention of him maybe surviving comes up she is like, well, I guess I gotta kill him again end of thoughts)

Fordola - her feelings are what could graciously be called complicated and moreover she understands it isn't her place to pass judgement on her one way or another. Is gonna keep her distance from her, though; if she comes around to her one day it will be because she is giving that relationship space now.

Yotsuyu/Tsuyu - similarly complicated feelings; understands that she was horribly mistreated and is very pro-kill your abusers but to say Yotsuyu took it too far is an understatement. She did, however, fully believe that Tsuyu was safe and really wanted her to have that fresh, clean beginning and was heartbroken when that was shattered.

Asahi - GET A JOB. STAY AWAY FROM HER (Tsuyu). truly genuinely hated him more than she has hated anyone she has faced thus far. Absolute garbage rest in piss.

Krile - That's her mom - dont! fucking! touch! her! Cimorene is very glad that she didn't get the scion summoning disease as that probably would have snapped the fragile thread she was hanging on by at the end of the patches

Thancred - genuinely was finally kind of coming around to like, a friendship with him just as he got struck with scion summoning disease so. RIP that budding relationship, I guess. We'll see where Shadowbringers takes that I'm sure only good places

Y'Shtola - Cimorene always forgets how much comfort she gets from being around Y'Shtola until she's gone and then she's like 'wait that's my emotional support archon please give her back'

Estinien - impulsively kissed him after the lvl 70 dragoon quest and immediately fled the scene, later learned that he saved her life and immediately fled the scene, and NOW she’s a literal world away so like… that tension isn’t getting resolved anytime soon

Crystal Exarch (yeah they don't call him that in game yet but I know whomst he is) - get better cell service if you're gonna keep calling my girl in the middle of a fucking war! she would be more willing to open the gates if you didn't keep yoinking the souls out of her beloved friends - again in the middle of a fucking war! yes I know this is probably beyond your control but Cimorene doesn't and she is very very very upset with you!

[crashstanding]

I need to talk about Mieva'h because he's hilarious to me

yeah, he's the hero of Eorzea, he was in the country on the equivalent of a missionary trip and got chosen to be the hero. He has seven moms. He's deeply religious but thinks fighting Halone is a great tuesday afternoon activity. He likes to dance and hates standing still but refuses to shift in important meetings because its a sign of weakness.

He wants to beat Estinien to death whilst making out with him, that elf is the only one he's like that. He drank Sidurgu under the table once - literally. He gives all his friends kisses on the forehead as a wish for safe travels. He once picked up Alisaie and threw her in the water before diving in himself, because he thought it was funny.

He looks like this

He loves his chocobo more than life itself and is a horse girl but for birds

[brineffxiv]

It is time.

My friends impart their memories to the spirit vessels, and Angelo the porxie does his thing.

Angelo would make a cute plushie. They should sell those, they'd make bank.

Now it's up to me to take my friends safely back home.

Here we go...

Now we just hope this works. And that we put the right vessel next to the right person.

I think it's working!!

Welcome home, my friends! It's been quite some time for several of you. If I remember correctly, Thancred spent 5 years on the First, while Urianger and Y'shtola each spent 3.

Oh? Oh! I can go wake up G'raha!

Hehe, look at me run. Off to get my man.

I run all the way there, until suddenly the orange constellation crystal comes flying out of nowhere and lands next to me. Which is odd, because I didn't realize I no longer had it with me. Little confused, but glad to have it back?

Scene change! Several days later, Alphinaud is having tea while Alisaie motions exasperatedly (and hilariously) at our other friends...

Who thanks to Tataru (and Feo Ul), with a bit of assistance from our friends the various heads-of-state, have their preferred outfits back!

I love you Urianger.

This entire scene is perfection. It must be appreciated in motion, however, and I do not know how to gif.

It's him! My boy! I love him. Look at his little hair clips, he's so cute!

*ahem*

G'raha has secured the Crystal Tower, and with that done he's free to join the Scions! And come adventuring with me!

Off we go!

.

.

.

Meanwhile, Zenos and his Ascian buddy have retaken the Garlean palace. For reasons as yet unclear.

Yeah, seeing that every night might be one of the reasons you're so fucked up. One reason among many.

Not!Asahi is performing his ass off, and Zenos is completely unaffected. It's funny.

My read on this is that Not! Asahi desperately wants something, and that something can only be got with Zenos' cooperation. So this guy is acting the simpering servant to his lord, but like, Zenos is so detached from anything approaching "normal" that it's like acting against a wall. LOL.

Hey, tangent, is Zenos the Emperor now? Not!Asahi calls him "your radiance", but that might have been meant in mockery, it's hard to tell.

lol, I already knew he was using Asahi's body from his voice, but the confirmation is good. Ah, poor Asahi, that his idol doesn't even remember his name.

Figured you were an Ascian, I--

I'm sorry. What is your name??

Fandaniel??

*wheeze*

Ah hahahaha!

Fucking... Daniel???

We got an array of nigh-unpronounceable names - Lahabrea, Igyorhim, Nabriales - and then... DANIEL. Okay, okay, Fandaniel.

I'm sorry *wheeze* I'm okay... I'll stop laughing now.

hehehehehe

It just. Undercuts your seriousness... just a little bit.

Oh. Oh dear. I have a feeling it's not a good thing that he realizes he's no longer got a boss.

And somehow I doubt your version of "living for the moment" involves harmless acts of spontaneity. Like getting a burger or spending a day at the beach.

Oh, my friend, I have missed you too.

UNF. He's so hot when he's evil.

[raphfish]

Tier list of the xiv characters that I think could end up in a kingdom hearts game

Boring tier: Y'shtola (already in dissidia and used to be treated as the face if xiv before shb)

Okay tier: Alphinaud, Alisaie, G'raha, Krile.

While I love these characters, they'd probably end up like the ff7 cast: mostly here for exposition and with their personalities diluted

Funny tier: Urianger, Estinien.

Urianger would be like the above, except hearing him of all characters talk about kh lore bullshit would be hilarious and I need it. Estinien would probably get the Auron treatment and be a temporary party member. That or he'd get a fight in the colosseum.

S tier: Zenos

Zenos would make a great superboss for a kh game. Bonus points if they make his whole storyline about wanting to wield a keyblade.

Best case scenario: Emet-Selch

The ascians in arr are already reminiscent of organization 13, but Emet also has the queer coded disney villains vibes when you meet him in shb, he'd fit kh like a glove.

[ferrocyan]

tart mostly only gets along w people who think having unimaginable power is sick as fuck. y'shtola traveled through the lifestream, got plucked out and went "lmao awesome", estinien loves his nidhogg and being the coolest dragoon, urianger revels in being a mysterious sorcerer, g'raha used massive spellwork to save everyone out of the tower of zot, like you gotta own that you're the strongest mf in the world. the reason alisaie is unforgiveable is that she didn't think it was hilarious to get roofied and tossed into a pool and then walk out waving to the fuath like "sup bitches". kinda cringe if you ask tart

[fistsoflightning]

14 | there will be signs

ffxivwrite2024 14: TELLING Having force or effect; effective; striking.

elwin wouldn't say he won the cactpot, but. lumelle & elwin. 1135 wc.

"Well," Lumelle said uselessly with her hands propped on her hips, "I can see where I got things wrong."

Beside her, Elwin copied her in a much more animated and irritated manner. "I told you I know the difference between kolossus and colossal like eight times and now you're reconsidering?"

She didn't need to rehash their quarter-bell linkpearl call that she spent mostly saying 'El, are you sure you don't mean colossal problem' only for him to repeat 'kolossus problem' like those were words that went together outside of Garlean robot colossi. The Gold Saucer could make up words for whatever. She didn't care. She absolutely did not care and there was no use continuing this spat.

But.

"I know you know but does the rest of Eorzea know? Someone could have spelled it wrong or something and you were just reading it out loud!"

"Lumelle."

"FINE!" She threw her hands up in the air, just to put her energy somewhere other than her voice. The Gold Saucer was loud enough to mask most of their bickering, but if she really yelled it was more like than not to gain a draconic tone near the end and that would make things extremely not fine. "FINE, you were RIGHT and I'm SORRY, but what are we going to do about—uh…"

Lumelle's voice trailed off as she turned to point at the very large korpokkur idling nearby with the most innocent look on its face. A not insignificant part of her wanted to squish its face a little and make silly noises; the rest of her was trying to figure out how her brother had ended up with it and also what the hells they could do about it. She knew that it positively couldn't come home to Ishgard. How it had ended up in the deserts of Thanalan in the first place was beyond her.

"I don't knoooow…" Elwin looked reluctantly back at his prize. "Um. Wedding gift for A'dewah?"

"Extremely funny idea, but that's not for moons at least and also this guy would not fit through Haruki's door," Lumelle said. It would be gut-bustingly hilarious to somehow put this guy in a box and witness A'dewah's face when he opens said box, but incredibly not possible unless A'dewah gets his shite together and actually sends out invitations or elopes. Whichever seems most appealing when he snaps. "Also also, I think Munehise has a korpokkur or three already, another is overkorpokkur. Can't you return him, or something? How did you end up with a gigantic korpokkur anyways?"

Elwin reached up to pull at his goggles in distress, the tips of his ears turning a dark red. Lumelle hastily reached down to keep him from snapping them over his eyes, because that was how you got eye damage, wasn't it?? And that absolutely wasn't happening on her watch.

"I won't laugh," she said. Maybe a giggle, but Elwin didn't need to know that.

"But I'm still embarrassed," her brother squeaked out.

"You have literally seen me go crazy and turn myself into a dragon because my crush was getting a little hurt," Lumelle said. "That time I came almost crying to your room because I tripped and ate floor in front of Alisaie and she wouldn't stop laughing at me because I made a funny noise when I did it. The 'who is A'dewah into anyways' incident."

Elwin groaned and said, eyes now screwed shut, "That last one doesn't count 'cause you gave me secondhand embarrassment."

"The point stands that you will never be as embarrassing as me," Lumelle insisted. "Tell me how your errand turned into korpokkur ownership before we get kicked out for making a scene and then we'll go get overpriced food and drinks that you can cry into."

"I'm not going to cry about this… Let go of my goggles." Elwin cracked one eye open, waited for her to stand back up to her full height of still-only-five fulms, and said, "So I did finish my errand. I delivered the mark seven drone to the lady."

"And you got paid," Lumelle said, "in… korpokkur?"

Elwin shook his head. "I got paid in cactpot tickets. For some reason. And they were—the Jumbo kind, which is definitely not what I should have been paid in? But by the time I thought about that she'd already left to have her husband try it out?"

She knew immediately where this was going with a biting clarity. "Elwin, no."

"So since I just had them now, and today was the number draw, I was thinking 'well, I guess I'll stick around and redeem these and get a funny hat after'. But as it turns out—" Elwin gestured to the korpokkur, which was not a funny hat in any sense. "—with my three tickets, I got the MGP from both first and second place? Since the lady had picked sequential numbers? So I had like, enough MGP in my hands to buy a small house, and a lot of people looking my way and saying things, and by then I was thinking 'I have got to get rid of this immediately or there's going to be a situation'."

"So you…"

"Bought. A few things." Elwin hid his face behind his hands, peering through the gaps between his fingers up at Lumelle's incredulous face. "The korpokkur isn't the only thing I grabbed but it is the only one that is. A problem!"

This was, frankly, hilarious to a degree Lumelle couldn't even comprehend at the moment. It would likely hit later when she was recounting the whole thing to Alisaie through laughter. She took another look at the korpokkur's gormless face, then looked back at Elwin and said, "You paid a mountain of fake coin for a whole plant that bounces. Look at it, it has no thoughts in there."

"I'm sure it has at least one," Elwin sighed.

"Yeah, the one that makes sure that water droplet doesn't fall off?"

"You're gonna hurt his feelings, Mellie."

"He's like a dog, he doesn't know! But fine, I'll be nice to your oversized moss ball. So long as he doesn't smush you beneath his roundness."

"Can I beg for mercy now?" Elwin's face was fully buried in his hands now. "I still don't know what to do with him."

"I'll call Miriel later, don't worry." And if that failed, she'd just have to go drop in on A'dewah in the Doman Enclave sooner than she was planning. No biggie. "I do have one last question, though."

Elwin groaned. "Promise we're done after? I can stuff my face in buyer's remorse?"

Lumelle patted the pocket of her coat that had her gil pouch. "Promise. Now—did you buy enough of the bunny ears for us to surprise Valdis with?"

[candycryptids]

I am a BIG FAN of adjusting the canon ages (I've not done it tooo much, but all the NPCs are 4-5 years older than their listed age because I'm sorry all these expansions had to take some TIME to get through all their stuff, you know?) (unfortunately this means Alphie and Alisaie are uhhh ... late bloomers, even for elezen?).

All this to say: Tell me who you and your speece adjusted and how far! If you want! I'm curious.

Ok ok ok So I had to talk with babe and look at the wiki so this is like, Start Of ARR Ages: G'raha should be fuckin 18-19 at the start of ARR.. IK he's an archon so he's like a college grad or w/e, but I just. He's. He's a baby face. And there's some story reasons with Kizuna for why he's gotta be younger lmfao Urianger is like. 35. Because 29 is too. Young??? (and I really feel like he should be older than Thancred. Thancred old jokes can stay though I think the oldest Scion making jokes about Thancred being old when he's not even the oldest is Hilarious) Minfilia should be 25... OR 30.. We hadn't fully decided but it's like... the vibe. 27 just doesn't feel quite right -v-;; (I really think F'lahminn should be 50-55 instead. of. what, like 40? 39? absurd.) Thancred being 32 at the START of ARR is fine to us lmfao. But that's assuming there's at least 5 years (AT LEAST...) between ARR and, like, EW. Alphinaud and Alisaie being 16 at the start is FINE... but we also have a complicated silly elf-age counting system in the works to explain why they're so. Small? They should definitely be hitting a growth spurt I hope they get tall in DT tbh... Or at least... like... Squeenix please let these kids age, LMFAO.

[tea-and-conspiracy]

One Ishgardian's Unsolicited Take on DT

...Which is a bit of a misleading title, I realize, because I did DT on Laelia first (cowboys and cyberpunk, I had to) and I'm only now doing it on Eliane, but this is my main XIV account here on tumblr, so whatever.

Spoilers and Opinions below the cut, obviously! If you aren't prepared for either, please don't read. :)

I guess I'll begin with the good.

Tural

I really liked the first half of this xpac. I enjoyed how casual and low-key it was, I loved how it was about engaging with people and getting to know them rather than racing to save the damn world again. By now they've established narratively that the WoL really needs a break and I'm glad they got to get it for a bit.

To this extent, the first half of the xpac felt like ARR in a good way. You were back to being a nobody (why would anyone in Tural know or care who you are?), so the most that was ever asked of you were random, easy tasks. You got to adventure. There was worldbuilding aplenty. Every once in a while you punted a threat that got too big for its britches. That's what ARR was too.

It's hilarious to me that the WoL was there to basically be advisor to Wuk Lamat, because our cute little fragment of that goblin Azem is simultaneously the best and WORST qualified for the position. And I also loved how we would just be pointed at whenever somebody went, "Or else what?" Or else her, obviously.

Tural is breathtaking and might be the team's best round of environmental design yet. I find Urqopacha especially striking, but as a whole it was so refreshing to be back in colorful and vibrant environments again. This includes the dungeons, especially the earlier dungeons.

The Characters

Wuk Lamat started to exhaust me and I still love her. She's sweet, she's genuine, and she's a nice departure from...well more or less every other character in this game. I have a weak spot for shonen protagonists and that's basically what she is. Hell yes, Power of Friendship.

It was hard not to be on Team Koana after the rescue scene. Boy is that cat hot when he's mad. His VA really nailed the subtleties of "guy-who-is-super-intelligent-and-thus-can't-People-as-a-result", and while I can't claim to be particularly bright, I identified with his awkwardness. :P

Otis. Nuff said.

I, uh. I'm definitely confused about the Bakool Ja Ja love but I think I get it. :P Internet Things <tm> aside, I do love a good heel-face turn, although the execution of his turn was, uh. Hm.

I guess it's time for the bad.

The Scions

Didn't need to be there. They didn't add a single thing to the story and were clearly shoehorned in for marketing purposes. A case can be made for Krile obviously, but outside of her, only G'raha made sense because of his specific experience and expertise.

"What about trusts?" A lot of early trust dungeons use random NPCs. We're out here to engage with other cultures, why can't I have a Hanu healer or a Yok Huy DPS? That makes more sense to me than forcing Alisaie to heal.

Mad we didn't get to duel Urianger and Thancred though. >:(

Erenville was done completely dirty and didn't catch a break this entire expansion. Thanks for coming with us as a guide, buddy! One of your childhood friends turned evil, your village is now destroyed, and your mom is dead! That's it, that's all you get. :)

The Story

Like I said. The first half of this story was nice. I really wish the rest of the xpac had stayed that way.

The problems began around about the time I hit Yak T'el. Unfortunately, there's some content there that started hitting a little too close to home for me, and yeah, it hurt me a lot. I don't think the devs realized what they were engaging with, which is kind of par for the course for this particular subject matter. :/

That aside, I agree with others that the Mamool Ja's story is a bit of a stretch in general. Part of the reason the Yok Huy and the Mamool Ja exist -- at least to my understanding -- is so that the game can explore what fundamentalist cultures look like without them being linked to any one culture in the real world, and I think that's a good thing. But the writers seemed to lose either their nerve or direction with the people of Mamook, and it undermined Bakool Ja Ja's character progression as a result.

We didn't spend much time in Shaaloani, and I had a feeling we wouldn't, even if I was hoping for more good ol' fashioned spaghetti western tropes. But more importantly...where tf are the Whaalaquee (sp?)? Erenville even mentions them but they're not physically present? Wasn't the whole conflict there due to ceruleum being dug on their sacred lands?

But anyway, let's just get to the elephant in the room: the latter half of the story. Why. Why did we have to do any of this? I don't understand Zarool Ja or anything about him. He had a loving family, he had everything, and instead turned into Varis 2.0 because he felt...inadequate? How do you go from, "Man, I'll never measure up to my dad" to, "I need to fucking take over the world?" Shit, even Varis was at least a little sympathetic in that he was hoping to free his people from Emet-Selch. I never bought into Zarool Ja and found him a really shallow and boring antagonist.

ALSO WHO DID HE FUCK? I'M AMAZED HE WOULD EVEN TAKE THE TIME TO FUCK. WHAT OTHER MAMOOL JA WAS EVEN UP THERE? FHEJAKRFGHJKE

This might be a weird take, but I'm tired of the leadup to the endgame zone being the people you previously helped out coming together to get you to a place you cannot reach. That was *incredibly* moving in Shadowbringers, because you spent the entire game getting to know these people personally. And a callback to it in Endwalker worked because this was the culmination of your adventures on Hydaelyn. But we had to do it with the train again and it just felt...lacking. Like, "here's the obligatory cooperation scene!" We don't have to keep rewriting Shadowbringers, guys. Also, these scenes work better when it involves individual characters; since Dawntrail was more about getting to know the cultures instead (and that's ok!), it unfortunately lacks a bit of that more personal connection.

We didn't need Alexandria. I am so. Tired. Of the end game zones being megatech. It was a fun and wild shift ONCE in Heavensward, but you can't keep doing that on repeat, especially when you keep amping up the technological advancement. What made Alexandria/Solution 9 worse is that there's way too many hints of real life in there. You know, government employment offices and recycling bins and advertisements and stuff. I play this game to get away from real life, not be reminded of it. And yeah, Garlemald had cars and stuff, but it at least felt justified because the Garleans can't use magic. They are a mundane people, so of course they'd be more like us. Solution 9 feels like it belongs in another game.

I found Sphene exhausting, not sympathetic. We've already done this before with Emet-Selch and then again with Golbez, and she didn't have a fragment of the depth of the former. I personally dislike the trope of "the leader so universally beloved that they're practically worshiped". I can never buy into it and it always creeps me out.

While I love Vrtra and the first brood, I was mega bummed that getting outside help was the solution to protecting Tuliyollal. Like, Koana's been hyped up as a brilliant engineer this whole time, I was fully expecting him to engineer a defense for the city. I guess time was a consideration but there's some kinda eeeehhhh implications in the Turali being unable to defend themselves, and it's a little cheap imo that the solution was apparently Draco Ex Machina.

But what made Alexandria most exhausting of all is that we literally just finished this storyline, almost beat for beat, in the 6.X patches.Right down to having a flashback dungeon set in a medieval kingdom in the middle of the calamitous war that destroyed it, like what the actual hell. Do we really have to keep doing a narrated dungeon at the end of every xpac, btw? It worked for Amaurot. It was already a bit much with Meteion. But we're just rewriting Shadowbringers again forever, I guess.

I didn't like the end zone at all for the same reasons: another reconstruction of a long-dead place and long-dead people for the third expac in a row. Please stop. I loved Shadowbringers but for the love of god please move on from it. By the end I was just rushing things along because I was just so tired of it all. It's lost its emotional impact by now.

Which is all a very long way of saying that I wish we didn't have to save the world again, I guess. We were supposed to be done with that but either the devs (or more likely the execs) didn't trust that we'd remain engaged if the stakes stayed low. I wish they would trust us like they used to.

ARR wasn't about the end of the world. Heavensward wasn't about the end of the world. Stormblood wasn't about the end of the world. We already know they can do it. We already know people enjoy it. It's safe to relax and take your time building back up, dammit. It was kind of disappointing.

In Conclusion

Despite all my whinging, I actually enjoyed the xpac a fair amount. I'm not hooked, but I didn't hate it. There's a lot of good, and a lot of endearing things too. But ShB was clearly too successful, and I'm wondering now if we'll ever get away from it. The new writing team is proving very hit and miss and I really do miss Ishikawa.

We'll see where things go from here. :think: