#alex hØgh andersen gifs | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ivarlover · 18 days ago

Text

UNPREPARED

Part 2 (sequel #5 to UNLEASHED, UNDENIABLE, UNEXPECTED, and UNPREDICTABLE)

Alex + Modern Ivar

Mentions of Female Reader + Hvitserk

NSFW 18+ ONLY

If you're new here and want to catch up, just go to my pinned master list.

A special thanks to my Beta reader @lostasalice-thisway ! Couldn't have done it without you! 😘 I hope you guys like it!

Summary: During a hot weekend between Alex and his best friend, Ivar, it turned into an entire relationship between the two of them that neither of them had seen coming. Now, that they are just getting into the swing of things and finding their groove with navigating their relationship, Ivar's ex fiance comes back into the picture, with his child he didn't know existed, and it seems she's sure to shake things up.

Warnings, The sequel in general: Totally NSFW, Unprotected anal sex (male receiving), oral, male to male contact and more, a bad case of the feels, language, smut, with me, there is ALWAYS smut. 🤣 Each chapter will have its own warnings.

This chapter: Language, explicit, major case of the feels, heartbreak, *inaccurate and unrealistic medical descriptions, diagnosis, and practices, unrealistic police and emergency assistance procedures, descriptions, and practices,* anguish, angst, guilt, and self loathing, violent descriptions and details, and actually no smut in this chapter (a smut warning that there is no smut? Haha)

Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!

Words: I don't know; too MANY to count

*Let me know if you want on or off the tag list!*

Note from me: My apologies for how long this has taken, but hopefully, you'll find it worth the wait. 🤞🏼 I had some major problems with getting this one written, including, but not limited to, accidentally deleting a portion of it and needing to rewrite it. PLEASE feel free to share your feedback. Hope you enjoy!

@lostasalice-thisway @istorkyou @vero-maris-zamo @lonewolf471 @galaxy-1000 @covidinducedsocialreject @chapada010101010 @tessakate @twistergirlie @noway4u @velvetvowsandvikingdreams

-------------------------------------------------------

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-------------------------------------------------------

Series Master List

Alex sat in the chair beside Ivar's hospital bed, his hand in Ivar's as he gripped it, a sign showing him he would not leave his side. His other hand lovenly rubbed his cheek, "Close your eyes, and get some rest, Ivar. You need it. You've been through a lot today. I'll be right here when you wake up. I'm not going anywhere."

Ivar's eyes watered again, as he wet his lips, attempting to speak to him, but Alex stopped him. "Shhh. Save your voice. I know it's difficult for you to speak." Ivar's eyes widened at Alex in an obvious panic.

Alex placed his hand over Ivar's heart and gently rubbed, feeling it pound as if it was going to jump out of his chest, as he said, "You heard the doctor. You'll slowly get your voice back without pain."

When he glared at Alex again, Alex then understood his nervousness. "You're going to be fine. It's totally safe for you to sleep. Look at your oxygen levels, and listen to your heartbeat," he pointed to the monitors. "They're both very strong. I promise it's safe. I wouldn't let you sleep otherwise, and you need to rest. Ok? And I'll be right here by your side. I promise."

Squeezing Alex's hand a little tighter, Ivar slowly nodded, knowing he was in safe hands with Alex at his side. As he closed his eyes, he weakly made kissing lips at Alex. Alex grinned. Even in a hospital bed, Ivar still thought of such things. Alex leaned forward and gave him a gentle peck on his lips. "Now, sleep."

As Ivar finally dozed off, Alex's mind wandered back to the day's events. It had truly been fate that Ivar had woken up on his own when he did. He didn't even want to think of what the alternative had been, how they'd planned to take him off life support. He was thankful that Ivar was a defiant little shit, even when he wasn't conscious.

He couldn't prevent himself from reliving the intense moments after Ivar had opened his eyes. In what had actually only been a minute or even less, it had felt as if Katia had been gone from the room for an eternity to get a nurse. Alex had been helplessly looking at the love of his life, trying to calm him and wipe his tears, when Katia finally busted back into the room with doctors and nurses.

Alex jerked around to them in urgency, "He's awake! He's awake! He needs you to remove the tube!"

Within seconds, the doctors cleared the room, telling them to wait outside so they could do their job. Alex saw Ivar's panic stricken face, "I'm not leaving you. I'll be right outside the door. I'll be back in as soon as they give the word."

Once in the hallway, at Alex's request, Katia hurried off to tell Ivar's family the news. He impatiently waited at the door like he said he would, but he did not like what he heard.

Loud voices were all talking at once in Ivar's room. Alex heard clatter, what sounded like something falling to the floor and shattering, before he heard Ivar's strained voice groaning in what could only be described as excruciating pain.

At that very moment, Katia, a historical Aslaug, and Ivar's three brothers all rushed to his side. In pretty much unison, they all asked what was happening.

As Alex was about to answer, they heard another loud groan from Ivar followed by the sound of chairs squeaking across the floor. "What the fuck?" leave it to Hvitserk to state the obvious.

As Aslaug began to speak between her tears, "I'm going in there! That's my son!" the door opened.

A familiar nurse to Alex, as he'd been there in the hospital with Ivar just as long as Ivar had been, stood in the doorway. Quickly scanning the small crowd that had gathered, her eyes landed on Alex. "Alex, umm, Mr. Lothbrok, please. Can you help us? He won't let us touch him, and he's asking for you."

Aslaug quickly responded, "He's talking? I'm his mother. I'll go."

The nurse stepped in front of her, blocking her, as she took a step toward the entrance. "No, he's not talking yet. He won't let us take the tube out, and I'm sorry, ma'am, but we need Alex."

Alex stepped to her, "Is he ok?"

"Well, yes, but we tried to remove the tube and he went crazy, shoving and pushing us all. He's got some strength on him to be in the condition he's in. He ripped the IVs out of his arms and every other cord he could reach. He keeps pushing us away and pointing to the door. I asked if he meant you, and he moved his eyes up and down. Can you try to calm him for us?"

A bit taken back, and feeling the weight of Aslaug's shocked stare, Alex answered, "Of course," and entered the room with the nurse closing the door behind them.

As they entered the room, Alex was surprised at what he saw. He may have even laughed if not for the seriousness of the situation. The bedside table was laying on its side in the floor, all the contents that had been on it, scattered across the floor with some of it broken. The two chairs were moved across the room, one on its side, and then he saw Ivar. His hand and arm was bleeding where he'd yanked the IVs out, the blood pressure cuff was ripped and in the floor, the heart monitor was beeping a high pitched sound with only one of the connections still attached to Ivar's chest, and Ivar held both of his hands up in defense to ward off the doctors and nurses from him. Everyone was talking, practically yelling, at the same time, and Ivar clinched his eyes shut. Alex could only imagine the headache he must have.

He quickly rushed to Ivar's side, holding his hands up to everyone trying to talk. Ivar's eyes popped open as he heard Alex softly ask, "Ok, what do you need me to do?"

A doctor motioned his hands toward Ivar, "Convince your husband that he needs to lay as still as possible so we can get this overwith already and he can rest."

Alex spoke softly to Ivar as he grabbed his hand, "Look, I'll be right here with you. I'm not going anywhere, but you've got to let them do this. You'll feel so much better afterwards."

Alex looked back to the doctor, "Is there at least something you can give him to numb the discomfort? I won't be responsible if he punches any of you guys."

"Sir, we already did, directly into one of the IVs, but as you can see, he's ripped them out, so I'm not sure how much of it he actually got."

Alex looked to Ivar, and Ivar moved his eyes back and forth. "Well, can you give him something now? Directly in his vein or something local on his throat, maybe?"

The two doctors spoke under their breath to each other, and finally, one answered, "Yes, we can do that. If he's going to let us touch him."

Alex assured them that he would as he held Ivar's hand, rubbing his thumb across the back of it, attempting to calm him as much as he could. He looked at Ivar lovenly, "You're going to be ok. I'm right here."

Ivar's heartbeat sped up as the doctor got closer to him. "Son, we're going to do what we can to make this as quick and painless as possible, but please understand, you're young and in good shape. You have toned muscle and membrane. Your body is going to try to resist this." Alex gulped. "I need you to concentrate, and relax as much as possible. If you tense up, it's going to make it more difficult, and I don't want to hurt you." He squeezed Alex's hand a bit tighter. "So, you understand?" Ivar gave him a weak thumbs up. He hadn't noticed, but the doctor had given him a shot in his arm. He was thankful for the distraction.

On the doctor's say, one nurse went to the side of Ivar opposite Alex. She grabbed his hand. The other nurse pressed buttons on the bed to lay him straight on his back before coming around to his head. She pulled out something that looked like a belt and told him what she was doing as she did. She placed it on his forehead and pulled it tightly around the back of the bed and fastened it. Ivar's eyes grew wide and Alex began rubbing his arm. "We're almost finished," the nurse said softly to him.

The two doctors went to either side of the bed after putting on gloves. One worked on pulling the tape lose while the other said, "You've got you a good one here, Mr. Lothbrok. He hasn't left this hospital the entire time you've been here. Day in and day out, he's been right here by your side." Ivar looked at Alex, more emotion coming from a single stare than Alex could have ever expected.

The doctors readied themselves as the one continued talking. "You know, I thought he was going to put our nurses out of a job. He's the one who shaved you. He bathed you and washed your hair." The other doctor nodded his head as he turned the life support machine off. The one talking took ahold of the tubing. "He sat right here with you the whole time, never leaving your side, talking to you, and reading you books. He even set up camp in the room next door to you to be sure we did right by you. I'd say this man loves you dearly, Son." And with that, he jerked the tube in one fluid motion. Ivar's eyes widened as he groaned and began to cough. The nurse at his head placed her hands on his cheeks, attempting to prevent him from turning his head. Ivar gripped Alex's and the other nurse's hands. Just as he felt like he was going to come up off of the bed, the doctor said, "And we're done."

Alex couldn't believe what he'd just seen. He was impressed that Ivar hadn't broken lose and punched the doctor right in the face. He knew it hurt. Ivar's face told him just how much.

Only seconds had passed, and suddenly, Ivar leaned over and threw up into the floor, looking at Alex apologetically. "That's perfectly normal, Mr. Lothbrok," the doctor reassured him.

As the nurses busied themselves cleaning him and the floor up and removing everything, the doctor told Alex, "He's going to need to rest now. His voice will be hoarse for a while. He can have ice chips or sip on water, but he doesn't need to have too much or he'll be sick again."

"We'll run some tests on him tomorrow and let you all know where we stand. A nurse will come back in to reconnect the heart monitor to his chest, the oxygen reader to his finger, and a new blood pressure cuff. Right now, I understand family is waiting and anxious to see him, but please keep it quick. He really does need his rest." The other doctor and nurses left the room as the one speaking said, "I'll give you two some time and tell your family you'll let them know when they can come in."

As he stepped away from the bed, Alex told him, "Doctor, thank you. Umm, thank you for your help."

"Certainly. And thank you for helping us with taming the wild beast," he winked and grinned as he left the room.

The moment the door closed, all of Alex's attention was turned to Ivar. "Oh my God, Ivar." He leaned down and kissed him on the forehead before he went into action, wiping Ivar's face, moving his hair out of his eyes, pulling the blankets up over him. "What do you need? Ice? Water? Would you like me to step out so you can rest?" His mind was jumping around at all the things he needed to do for Ivar.

Ivar weakly raised his left hand and grabbed Alex's, stopping him. He pulled it to his chest and held it there tightly. As he took a deep breath, he began to cough, and Alex grabbed kleenex from the box and held it to his mouth, helping him wipe it.

"Water?"

Ivar slowly nodded, clearly still in pain. Alex grabbed the water bottle from the sink and brought it over, holding it to Ivar's lips. "Slowly, just sip. Don't want you getting choked." Ivar did just that, coughing again. Alex was about to remove the bottle, but Ivar took it in his hand and sipped a little more, wetting his lips.

When Alex placed it back on the sink and came back to Ivar's side, grabbing his hand again, Ivar softly whispered, with a groggy voice, "Th-thank you, Love." The corner of his eyes were wet, and Alex used every ounce of strength he had left not to cry like a baby.

"You don't have to thank me. I'd do anything for you. You know that. I'm just so happy you're ok." He could see the protest across Ivar's face. "Save it. Don't strain yourself. Your mom and brothers are outside, waiting to see you."

Ivar held his arms out in front of him in a motion to hug Alex, as his arms shook from under use. Alex couldn't believe those were the same arms that had pushed the nurses and doctors away, causing such a mess in the room. He smiled as he happily accepted Ivar's invitation and bent down to finally hug his love, his everything, his very reason for breathing.

Nothing had ever felt more right to either one of them. Ivar snuggled into the nape of Alex's neck, burying his face there as Alex sighed with relief. Ivar's entire body trembled, and he tightened his arms as best he could, holding Alex as close to him as possible.

It wasn't until Alex felt the wetness on his neck that he realized Ivar wasn't trembling because of any weakness. It was then that he heard a light mumble, "I-I'm," Ivar coughed, "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Love."

Alex placed one hand behind Ivar's neck and the other still wrapped around his waist and back, holding him firmly. "Shhh. You have nothing to be sorry for." He brushed his hand through Ivar's hair as Ivar's tense body slowly dissolved into him, clearly worn out from all he'd been through.

Alex slowly guided him to lay back onto the bed, hoping for him to finally find some rest, when suddenly, the door to Ivar's room sprang open.

Alex looked to find Aslaug standing in front of Hvitserk, who was looking at him with apologetic eyes. "I'm so sorry, but I couldn't wait to see my son any longer. I need to see that he's ok." She rushed to Ivar's side, swooping down to hug and kiss him. "Oh my God. Dear, are you ok?"

He weakly smiled at her, happy to see her as his eyes watered more. Feeling protective of Ivar, Alex told her, "He did great, but his throat is a little sore. He can't really talk all that well just yet. The doctor said he needs to rest." Alex held his breath, not sure how Aslaug would respond to him.

She looked up to Alex, "Oh, of course, Sweetheart. I just had to see him first." She reached over and grabbed Alex's hand. "Thank you. Thank you for being here for my baby." Ivar smiled lovenly at the two of them, as Alex breathed a sigh of relief and shock.

Looking back to Ivar, she said, "Dear, I can't tell you how happy I, well, we are to see you. You really gave us a scare." Rubbing his cheek, she leaned down and kissed his forehead. "I'm going to go back out to the waiting room so you can get some rest, but please have Alex come get me if you need me for anything, anything at all. Ok?"

Ivar mouthed the words, "Ok. I love you," as he gently smiled.

Giving him a quick kiss on his cheek, she said, "I love you, too, Dear. So much." She turned away from him as she began to cry again, and he reached out and grabbed her hand. She turned back around him, and he winked at her, making her smile through her tears. Alex came around the bed and hugged her, so relieved she'd made this easier than he'd expected.

As she went out, Ivar's brothers came in together. He smiled widely at them. "Always determined to be the hardheaded one of us, right, little brother? Anything for just a little bit of attention," Hvitserk teased him.

He walked over and patted his shoulder with a cheesy grin. "Damn glad to see you, man. I knew you were too stubborn to let this get you and that you'd pull through it," he smiled as Ubbe and Sigurd came over and joined them. They exchanged their hellos and well wishes, and all three of them left almost as quickly as they'd came in, deciding ahead of time that they'd discuss what had landed Ivar in there to begin with a bit later.

Alex had felt a bit relieved that they'd told him Katia had already left for a doctor appointment she had. He wasn't sure if that was stress Ivar needed at the moment, although, he was disappointed that he hadn't been able to see Ivy.

Now, Alex sat watching Ivar finally sleep. He was still holding his hand, the reassurance Ivar needed to actually close his eyes and give in to his exhaustion. It wasn't until he placed his other hand over Ivar's heart and felt the steady rhythm of his, now, strong heartbeat, that he realized just how tired he was, too. He laid his forehead down on his arm just beside Ivar and before he knew it, he was sleeping, too.

--------

A bit later, the nurse came in to check on Ivar and reconnect everything he'd ripped off of himself earlier. "Hey, guys, I'll be quick, but I have..." her voice trailed off as she looked over to Ivar's bed. There, she saw Alex laying in the bed with him, snuggled up to him at his left side. His head laid on Ivar's shoulder with Ivar's left arm wrapped tightly around him and Alex's left arm draped over Ivar, his hand resting over Ivar's chest.

She stopped in her tracks for a moment, admiring the sweet, peaceful scene before her, before deciding everything she needed to do could wait. She couldn't bring herself to disturb them knowing everything they'd been though these last few weeks. She leaned down and gently pulled the blanket up over them, Ivar seemingly snuggling into it, and lowered the lights as she turned on her heels to head out of the room.

As she nearly reached the door, it opened, and Aslaug walked in. Before the nurse could warn her, Aslaug was already talking, "Boys, I just came to let you know that I'm going to head out and," she then saw them and looked back at the nurse who simply shrugged and darted out the door. Her heart warmed at the perfect scene of love displayed before her, as if painted on the most beautiful canvas.

Having heard his mom's voice, Ivar stirred awake a little, his eyes fluttering open, sleep still very evident in his expression. Aslaug leaned over to him, kissing his forehead, "Shhh, I didn't mean to disturb you, Dear," she whispered. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm leaving and will be back in the morning." She lovenly brushed hair from his face as she looked over to Alex and smiled. "He really does love you, you know?"

Ivar grinned sleepily at her. "I'm happy you have him. You deserve this, Dear." Ivar squeezed him and kissed him on top of his head before nodding to her, noticing her wet eyes. After she was sure they didn't need anything, she left them to their much needed rest.

-------------------------------------------------------

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-------------------------------------------------------

The morning seemed to come quicker than Ivar and Alex would have preferred. As the sun peeped through the hospital room blinds, Alex lazily rubbed his eyes. It was a minute before he realized where he was, looking up to see Ivar smiling at him, already awake, watching his every move. Since when did Ivar wake up before him?

His voice and throat still a little scratchy, Ivar wet his lips with his tongue and softly mumbled, "Good morning, sunshine."

Alex quickly raised straight up, "Oh shit! I'm sorry! How did I get here in the bed with you? Oh my God! Are you ok?"

He started to get up, but Ivar grabbed him by the arm, "No," and pulled him back to his side. "You were sleeping with your head laying on," he began coughing, and Alex quickly reached back and grabbed the water bottle for him and held it for him to sip some water through the straw. He swallowed audibly and then said, "Thanks, Love. Your head was laying on the side of the bed, and I needed you up here with me. Besides, you looked really uncomfortable." Alex's cheeks flushed. "So, don't get up. Don't leave me."

Alex gave him a quick kiss and hugged him tightly, relieved that he hadn't hurt him.

The day was a long one. There were several tests to be done to see what the plan of action would be for Ivar and where he was on his way to recovery. Just as soon as Alex had gotten comfortable with Ivar again, nurses came to take him for the first test.

After everything was done, it turned out that he would need at least one, possibly two, more skin graft surgeries on his right leg and some intense physical therapy if he wanted to be able to walk again. Infection had also set up in his leg, to make matters worse, and they planned to start him on very strong medication for it immediately.

Ivar was not thrilled with what he'd learned. Still with a hoarse voice, he took a deep breath and asked, "So, what, exactly, are you saying, Doctor? Are you saying I will never be able to walk again?"

"No, that's not what I'm saying," the doctor rubbed his head. "Well, actually, there's no guarantee, Son, if I'm being honest." Alex gasped. "You've suffered some serious injuries and quite frankly, you're lucky to still be alive at all. Everything depends on how well you respond to your therapy, how hard you work, and how quickly the medication turns this nasty infection around for you."

Ivar was trembling at his words. With gritted teeth and his jaw clinched shut, Ivar asked, "Ho-how bad is the infection?"

The doctor looked away from him, and Ivar growled, "How bad?"

Placing his hand on Ivar's shoulder, the doctor softly said, "Son, I'm sorry to tell you this, but if the medication doesn't do it's job, and fast, umm," he glanced at Alex, who was holding Ivar's hand and looking down at the floor, "Well, it could be possible we'd have to amputate your leg up to your thigh."

Ivar shook his his head as the tears flowed silently from his eyes uncontrollably. "Nu-no! NO!"

The doctor continued, "That's the worst case scenario right now, though, ok? There's nothing that indicates that will be the case, but I just can't lie to you. You need to know all of the possibilities."

"Right now, let's just focus on getting the physical therapy stared, and once we know that the medication is doing it's job, we'll release you and let you continue physical therapy from home. I've seen your determination, Son, refusing to stop breathing, and I believe you can still turn this whole thing around."

Ivar was stunned as he looked at Alex, who was obviously feeling the exact same way. "When," he began coughing, and Alex quickly handed him the water bottle to drink from, "Wh-when will I begin with everything?"

"The nurse is getting the medication ready as we speak, and physical therapy will begin tomorrow afternoon. If everything seems to go well with the medication over night, we'll do the first skin graft first thing tomorrow morning."

Ivar gulped and dropped his head. The doctor turned toward the door, "I know I've unloaded a lot of information on you. My apologies. I'll give you time, because I know you need to process. I'll leave you to it and see you tomorrow."

He left the two of them lost in their thoughts. It was several minutes before Alex finally placed his hand on Ivar's shoulder. "Ivar, don't worry. I'm sure you're going to be fine. You're strong and," he began.

Ivar pulled away from his touch, "Don't."

Alex looked at him, surprised, "Wh-what?"

"Just don't. You can't always save me, Alex. You heard the man. Shit sounds pretty grim for me," Ivar coughed.

Alex tried to understand Ivar's anger as he took a deep breath. "Come on. Don't give up already, Ivar. We don't know..."

"Yes, we do. Anytime anything begins to go my way, it ends badly. It's just my luck. I've accepted it."

Alex frowned and just decided he wouldn't say anything else. He didn't want to be the focus of Ivar's anger. Afterall, he did understand his discouragement, and he knew he was just worried. He sat down, and simply waited for the nurse to bring the medication, trying his best to conceal his own worry and concern. He was still relieved that Ivar had awoken from a coma and hadn't quite swallowed, yet, all of the complications that was ahead of him.

The nurse finally came in. "For the first round of medication, I need to inject it directly into your IV and give you pills as well. And Mr. Lothbrok," she hesitated, looking nervous, "Umm, you need a very aggressive form of treatment for this infection so umm, I, umm..."

"Oh, get on with it already!" Ivar growled, trying to ignore his sore throat.

She continued, "I'm sorry to tell you, but the injection is strong. It will hurt and burn, but it's necessary. I would never intentionally hurt you." She swallowed nervously. She gave him the pills first, and he grumpily took them with water. Looking at Alex apologetically, she then injected the medication. Alex leaned up and grabbed Ivar's hand.

Ivar looked at her angrily and waved her out of the room dismissively. He knew it wasn't her fault and didn't want to lash out at her, but he also knew how fed up he already was with everything.

He took a deep breath and looked over to Alex. In those deep blue eyes, he saw the patience to move mountains, love unwavering, his life, his everything, but he also saw great worry and concern. He knew Alex was worried for him, and he felt guilty for putting him through this. Alex deserved better.

And what if he never regained his ability to walk again or even worse, if he had to have his leg amputated? That was a tremendous burden to put on anyone. He knew it was too much to ask of Alex. He'd rather end things with him than let him waste his life taking care of the cripple. He didn't want Alex to grow to resent him, and decided right then and there that should it come to that, he'd end it all, no matter how it broke his own heart. He absolutely would not let Alex play his live in nurse.

He suddenly felt a burning sensation climbing up his arm. It was as if his veins were on fire and were cooking him inside out. He squeezed Alex's hand and the sheets of the bed as his head bent back on the pillow. He closed his eyes tightly. That nurse wasn't kidding, his entire body hurt as the medication spread!

He finally let out a deep breath and released Alex's hand. He sat for a moment, realizing this wasn't the worst pain he'd felt in his life even though it was certainly one of the top five, at least, and took a deep breath, trying to steady himself.

Just as he was about to apologize to Alex for being an ass, another nurse came in and told him that the very first dose of medication was actually in two separate injections since it's so strong, but the first nurse hadn't known that and was now too worried to come back in.

He felt a wave of guilt, but he didn't have time to process it before the nurse was already at the side of his bed preparing the second injection. Hesitating, she said, "Let me look at you. I need to be sure you haven't had any kind of reaction before I give you the second round. I'm sorry, Mr. Loth..."

"Spare me the fucking sympathy, and just give me the damn injection. You guys are torturing me," Ivar growled at her, coughing uncontrollably. She tried to give him aome water, but he batted her hand away.

Ignoring his anger and attitude, and after she was sure the first round hadn't disagreed with him other than the pain, which Ivar was sure to remind her of, she began the second injection. Alex instantly went to grab Ivar's hand, but he pushed him back and wrapped his hand in the sheets instead. He gritted his teeth together as he felt the medication begin it's slow crawl through his veins.

Ivar leaned forward, and with a loud growl, he swiped his hand over the bedside table and cleared it with one sweep, everything shattering to the floor, "FUCK!" The nurse's eyes widened, and Alex jumped to his feet.

"Ivar, she's just doing her job. Come on. She's trying to help you," Alex said, rushing to the other side of the bed to begin picking stuff up from the floor with the nurse. "I'm so sorry," he mumbled to her.

"It's ok. I'm used to it. It kinda comes with the job, ya know?" she gently smiled at him.

She explained to Alex that Ivar would probably sleep for most of the rest of the day. "That's how the medicine can do it's job best, so don't worry, but call if you need anything, ok?" He nodded to her as she left the room.

When Alex turned back to Ivar, he instantly knew he was trying his best to deal with the pain without lashing out. Again. Alex felt helpless. He hated seeing him like this, but he knew he couldn't do anything but be there with him.

He walked back over to his chair and sat down without saying a word, trying not to give Ivar any reason to act on the pain and anger he was very obviously feeling. Ivar turned to him quizzically. "What?" Alex asked, mentally preparing himself for the next battle.

"Why? Why have you always stayed by my side, Alex?" Ivar asked almost in a whisper. "Even when we were kids, you were always there for me, most of the time, when I didn't even deserve it." He cleared his throat. "Kind of like right now."

"You seriously have to ask?" Alex wasn't sure what he was getting at, but his tone made him nervous.

"Yes. I want to hear it."

"Because I love you, Ivar." Alex dropped his head as he continued, "And I guess, in one way or another, I always have."

Ivar reached his hand out for Alex's, and Alex hesitantly gave it to him. Pulling his hand to his lips, he kissed his knuckles. "I can't keep saying I'm sorry and just expect you to keep staying," he took a deep breath, "But I also know that when my anger takes ahold of me, there's no telling what I might do or say. And I don't want you to be the one catching it all, Alex. It's not right. You, you don't deserve to be treated like this, especially when you're the one who has always been here for me."

He dropped Alex's hand and covered his face in shame. How could he continue to be so awful and yet, Alex continued to remain there with him? He couldn't believe he hadn't already left.

Alex rolled his eyes. "I refuse to listen to you right now, Ivar. We're not making major decisions about our relationship while you're laying there in bed in such pain. So you may as well just drop it," he sighed. "And you haven't really treated me any kind of bad way, Ivar. You just have a lot on you right now. I know we'll probably have this conversation again, and everytime we do, I'm going to tell you the same thing. I'm not leaving. Period. You need your rest. Tomorrow is a big day, so just stop worrying about it."

Ivar was taken back by Alex's assertiveness and refusal to listen to him. Had he not been in the shape he was, he would have put up a fight, but as much as he hated to admit it, Alex was right about one thing. He needed to rest. He felt sleep creeping into his body, and even though he wanted to fight it, his eyes grew too heavy.

He held his hand open toward Alex and Alex placed his hand in it, gripping it tightly. As Ivar began to apologize, the medication took control, and he fell into a deep sleep.

Alex smiled, despite himself, and sat back down. He knew the exact reason Ivar was so angry was because he was worried, not because he was actually angry, and he understood. During the last day, he had been through a lot. He knew he was going to be on this roller-coaster for a while, and he knew he'd still be there for it all.

------------

The next morning was already there before Alex had realized he'd, too, fallen asleep. As he got up from the chair he'd slept in, his body knew he'd been sleeping, though. Looking at Ivar sleeping, he thought of the calm before the storm for he knew they'd be in for him within minutes to take him to surgery.

Reluctantly, he leaned over and gently tapped Ivar's shoulder, "Ivar, hey. It's time to wake up. They'll be here to take you to surgery soon."

Stretching, it took Ivar a minute to realize where he was. For what it was worth, the medicine he'd been given at least helped him sleep well. He looked at the clock and then said, "Damn it."

"Good morning to you, too," Alex smiled.

Ivar asked for a drink of water, but Alex reminded him that he was about to go for the skin grafting and couldn't eat or drink. He watched as the snarl returned to Ivar's face. "Hey, this is going to help you. Please let them do their job."

At that moment, the door opened, and nurses came in to take him for surgery. Surprisenly, Ivar didn't say a word. As they began to roll him out, he asked them to stop and looked back at Alex. "Umm, will you, uh, are you leaving now?" He dropped his head. He knew that's exactly what he deserved, to come back to find that Alex had finally left the room or even the hospital.

Alex rushed over to him and leaned down to kiss him on his forehead. "No. I'm not going anywhere, Ivar. Not, umm," he gulped, "Not unless you want me to?"

Ivar immediately felt relieved. "No. I'd really appreciate it if you would still be here. I'm sorry," he sighed, "For everything."

"Shhh," Alex kissed him on top of the head again and let the nurses take him. It was difficult to remember the other times he'd seen Ivar just like this. Ivar had always been one to react with anger anytime he was scared or hurt. It was his immediate go to defense. He didn't like showing vulnerability like this. Alex knew he shouldn't take it personally, but it sure was easier said than done sometimes.

While Ivar was gone to surgery, Alex spoke with Aslaug, who had come to check on him. She informed Alex that they'd been having problems with Ivy at home. Apparently, she'd been crying uncontrollably for Ivar. They decided that it would be best to bring her to visit Ivar just as soon as he was able to visit with her.

As she prepared to leave, she told Alex, "Please let me know how he is as soon as he's out of surgery. I'm actually going to watch Ivy so that Katia can go to the doctor herself."

"Is she ok?" Alex asked, concerned.

"She said it's just a follow up on how she's doing with her therapy. No need to worry. You have enough on your plate right now, Dear."

Alex nodded as she stood and hugged him. "Let Ivar know I stopped by."

-‐-----------------------------------------------------

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

-------------------------------------------------------

Over the course of the next few weeks, Ivar had been nearly unbearable. He was angry and upset with anyone and everyone. So much so that Alex had resorted to either sitting in the room with Ivar and not saying a word to him or watching afar from his own room and out of Ivar's line of fire.

The skin graft surgery had went well and luckily, they hadn't had to do more than one. Ivar was still taking strong medication for infection and to help him heal. He had learned he'd need one of those strong injections once a week for the next month. No doubt, those days were the worst.

His family had come to visit, but he usually didn't talk much to any of them, thinking it better to be quiet. He wasn't trying to find himself completely alone.

Knowing the extra, unneeded stress it would cause, his brothers had decided to hold the information about the Finehair brothers being responsible for everything until he was home and things were a little more close to his normal instead of their previous intentions of telling him much sooner.

The couple of times Katia had brought Ivy were the better days. Although, he hadn't had much to say to Katia, he'd work extra hard not to scare Ivy by being his angry self, but it proved to be extremely difficult for him, asking more than once for Alex to remove her from the room. The hardest part was always seeing Ivy cry uncontrollably each time she had to leave. Ivar was only able to calm her by saying he'd see her again the next day. Each time, after she left, Ivar was more distant but but a bit sweeter. Alex held onto those sweet moments with Ivy, though, because it was nearly the only time he'd see the loving man he knew Ivar to be.

They had started with physical therapy and brought Ivar a wheelchair to get to and from the physical therapy room. He'd immediately refused to use it and threw his breakfast plate at the wall the first morning they brought it in. It wasn't until the doctor reminded him that if he didn't get to physical therapy, he'd surely remain bedridden for the rest of his life, that he gave in and decided to use it, grumbling the entire time and each time after.

It was only in the late nights, when Ivar was spent and actually had the time to think of his own actions from the day, that he would try talking to Alex, an attempt to apologize, and was more like himself. "Alex, umm, I-I'm ashamed of how I've been treating you, how I've been acting. I don't know why you stay with me."

Alex slid his chair closer to the side of Ivar's bed and gently grabbed his hand. "I understand why you get so upset, Ivar. I know how incredibly difficult it is for you to need to depend on everyone around you. It's ok."

Ivar dropped his head back on the pillow and looked up at the ceiling. "No, Alex, it's not. It's not okay. You deserve better. You're the one who has always been there for me, you've never left me, and this is how I treat you? No, it's not right."

Leaning forward, Alex became nervous, "We've discussed this. I'm not letting you push me away. What are you saying, Ivar? Wh-what do you mean?"

Ivar closed his eyes, "That you should leave. You should leave me, Alex. I'm not going to get any better. I am a miserable person to be around, and I know that, but I can't control my anger." He took a deep breath, "I don't want to take it all out on you, and I'm afraid I will. For fuck's sake, I have been already. I can't walk. Fuck knows what else I can't do, and you don't deserve to sit around and wait when you could be out there, living your life. How long has it even been since you've been to class? You need to just leave." He pulled his hand out of Alex's and wrapped it around his own chest, an attempt at holding himself together, and sighed in defeat.

Ivar's words gripped Alex's heart and squeezed so tightly that he thought it would split and gape open. He took a deep breath as he stared at Ivar, trying to assess if he really desired to be left alone and single again, or if he was just trying to be selfless. Did he really want him to leave?

Bracing himself for backlash, Alex took another deep breath and asked, "Ivar, do you still love me?"

Ivar's eyes spang open, "What? You know the answer to that."

"I need to hear you answer me."

Sighing, Ivar said with a small voice, "Yes, of course I do."

Alex felt a wave of relief as he said, "Then fuck you!"

"What?"

"You heard me. Fuck you! Fuck you for trying to push me away. Fuck you for trying to make this have anything, at all, to do with my classes. I'm taking them online! Fuck you for giving up on us. Fuck you for thinking I could ever be better off without you and that I'd just simply walk away that easily just because you said so," Alex wiped his eyes.

"After all this time sitting with you, hoping and praying you'd come back to me, I finally get you, and then you're just going to quit? No! I refuse to let you just give up. On yourself, on me, on us. No! You can do this! I know you can. And if it turns out that I'm wrong and you can't, then so be it. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it, and we'll find our way to make it work. Together."

"My love for you isn't contingent on whether or not you can walk. Sure, I want you to, because you want to, but Ivar," Alex cupped Ivar's cheek, "I love you for the man you are, regardless of how your legs do or don't work. Now, stop feeling sorry for yourself, stop being an ass to all of these nurses who are just trying to help you, and try your best in therapy so you'll get better. No more pitty parties!"

Ivar was overcome with emotions, and as Alex started to say more, Ivar caught his words on his mouth, lips covering Alex's in a soft, passionate kiss, threatening to steal Alex's last breath. As he attempted to pull Alex closer to him, Alex fell onto the bed, on top of Ivar with a thud. They both gulped.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, Ivar. Are you ok? I-I'm so sor..."

Ivar kissed him again as his arms wrapped tightly around Alex's waist. As they pulled slightly away from each other for air, Ivar whispered, "I-I'm so sorry, Love. I, umm, I just realized how much I've missed you." He pulled Alex closer, still, and deepened the kiss.

Their lips were moving in familiar movements in no time, muscle memory taking over, as they both seemed to forget about anything and everything happening around them. Alex's hand tangled in Ivar's hair, and Ivar groaned.

As the kiss grew even more heated, so did Ivar's desire. Feeling Alex's growing buldge against his own hip, he involuntarily bucked his hips. Alex's eyes sprung open as he pulled away from their delicious kiss again. Breathlessly, he said, "Oh shit, Ivar! I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," he blushed. "I know you're in pain and I, umm, shit! I just can't help it. You're just still so hot."

To Alex's surprise, Ivar laughed. "Shhh. Come here." He pulled Alex back to him and began kissing the life out of him. They quickly began panting, hands roaming all over each other as if they were exploring new territory, chests heaving, and desire becoming overwhelming. Ivar reached his hand between them, palming Alex's buldge over his sweats. He slipped his hand inside the waist band, and as he reached Alex's pulsating member, Alex gulped, "Ivar! Wh, uh no! We can't."

Ivar smiled at him, "Yes! Tell me you don't want it, too." Alex couldn't deny Ivar's words. He quickly dissolved into Ivar as Ivar wrapped his hand around Alex's shaft and began to slowly move it along his length. Alex thought the hospital room was probably not the best setting for such intimate acts, but he couldn't bring himself to stop Ivar and pull away.

As Alex's hands began to roam over Ivar's body, he slowly let his left hand find Ivar's waist line of his hospital pants. Without warning, he dipped his hand inside them to grab Ivar as well. To both of their surprise, Ivar wasn't even hard. He quickly pulled away from Alex and looked down at himself. "Wh-what is happening? I am. I mean, I know it's just. What's wrong with me?" He stumbled over his words, "I, umm, I want you so badly. I do. I just can't. I can't explain this." He instantly removed his hand from Alex's pants and planted his face in his hands as his cheeks flushed bright red.

Alex placed his hand over Ivar's as he softly spoke, "Ivar, it's ok. Look at me. That's not important right now."

Ivar jerked his hand away from Alex's as he turned his head away from him. "I wish I would have just died," he mumbled.

The mood of the room totally shifting, Alex got off of the bed and stood beside it. "What did you just say?" he asked in disbelief. "Because I know I didn't just hear you correctly."

Ivar glanced back at him, the snarl across his face softening as he saw Alex's hurt expression. "I, uh. Nothing works. I'm broken. I'm not," he exhaled heavily, "I'm not a complete man, Alex. I should have just..."

"Don't you dare say it!" Alex growled through a clinched jaw. "How dare you wish such a terrible thing when you have so much to live for. What about Ivy? What about your mom or you brothers? What about me? Am I not worth you living?"

Ivar started to answer him, but he interrupted him, "Wait! I'm not finished. I know this hurts you, Ivar. I get that you feel less of a man, but I'm sure it's just a combination of everything your body is going through. You're way too stressed. You need to rest. You're on a lot of medication. All of these things play a part in how your body works. There's no reason to get so upset about it that you say such ridiculous things."

"I'm tired of it, Ivar, and I refuse to let you give up on yourself and expect me to do the same and just let you push me away. We can talk to the doctor tomorrow and see what he says. Until then, I don't want to hear anything else even remotely close to your angry, self loathing comments. Do you understand? Are we clear?"

Ivar stared blankly at Alex with a loss for words. Alex hadn't spoken to him that way in years. "I said, are we clear?"

"But I can't. How do I? I mean. It just keeps getting worse," Ivar hung his head down in shame.

Taking a moment to breathe, Alex finally placed his hand under Ivar's chin and pulled it up to look him in the eyes. Locking his gaze with Ivar's, Alex softly said, "These things don't matter right now, Ivar. I'll tell you what would have been worse, Ivar. Losing you. Waking up everyday for the rest of my life without you here with me, not having someone to share the beautiful things in life with, watching Ivy grow up without her wonderful father. That would have been worse. I don't know what it's going to take for you to snap out of it and realize what you still have, but this is definitely not the worst that could have been."

He sat back down and lowered his gaze to the floor, fighting tears he was tired of shedding. He was worried for Ivar, but he was also hurt. He didn't like seeing him so unhappy with himself. Underneath all the anger and fear, he knew there was a gentle, loving soul, and he was determined to find him again, because he knew if he didn't soon, all that would be left was a lonely, miserable shell of a man, and he couldn't stand the thought of that as a reality.

Ivar didn't have a response. Alex had left him speechless. He hadn't stopped to think about what his condition was doing to him and the others he loved. And he knew his attitude wasn't making it any better. Could he do better? He knew Alex certainly deserved for him to try. He decided not to say anything, because he didn't want to break any promises, but he knew he had to try to find the positive and focus on that. He also knew that meant he had a lot of work to do.

-------------------------------------------------------

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

-------------------------------------------------------

While Ivar had definitely done better with lashing out at everyone, he'd still had his moments when he just felt he could take no more and was in mid fight or flight mode before he'd even realize it. No matter how hard he tried, he could not see a valid reason for Alex to remain with him. The more he tried with therapy and failed, the more he felt useless and had become to hate himself. If he hated himself so much, how could Alex love him? He felt completely hopeless.

When doctors and nurses weren't in his room, a solemn silence had settled in between he and Alex, something he never thought he'd have to endure with him. They weren't cold or angry with each other, but more distant than he could ever remember them being before. He missed his love, his best friend, but he just didn't feel worthy of any of it.

He would watch Alex move around in the room, intentionally avoiding eye contact or anything that he thought may cause any conflict to arise. He'd noticed how Alex pretty much only spoke when he was spoken to or to offer his assistance when he was certain it was needed. They hadn't had a real conversation since that night when Ivar had discovered his issue, and they certainly hadn't spoken about that again.

He'd see Alex do his school work on his laptop in the room next door to his and how quiet he was for it, an exact opposite of when he used to always discuss what he was working on, having such a love for history that he'd always share, hoping to spark an interest in Ivar as well.

He saw it all, how drastically their relationship had changed, how he'd ruined their vibrant love, and what was left of his already breaking heart practically crumbled. How horrible that he'd managed to dim Alex's bright light! It wasn't healthy for him to be so overly cautious just to prevent problems. That was how abusive relationships were. Was he abusive? It hadn't been his intentions to have such an effect on Alex, but now he wasn't sure how to make things right. How could he take away the sadness that Alex obviously felt when he, too, felt the same way?

He'd, at least, finally been doing better with the physical therapy, and he had even gained movement in his toes. The doctor had said that was promising news, but he hadn't even told Alex about it because he was sure Alex wasn't in the mood to celebrate something so small. Plus, he didn't want to give him false hope of him getting to complete recovery when he, himself, felt sure that was never going to be the case. He wasn't sure how much longer he could let Alex waste his time by being with him. He ached at the realization of what had now become his reality.

All he really wanted was to just hold Alex, to feel his arms wrapped tightly around him, but he knew that wasn't possible at the moment. As he growled in frustration, Alex looked up from his book. Hesitantly, Alex asked, "Do you need something for pain? I can call the..."

"No! Everything isn't about my fucking leg, you know," Ivar automatically snapped before he'd even realized what he'd done. Once he saw the immense sadness creep into Alex's expression, he began, "Oh, Alex, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to..."

Standing up and dropping his book in the seat, feeling completely defeated, Alex said, "Save it."

"But I.."

Alex held his hand up toward Ivar, palm facing him, a sign for him to stop as he walked past the foot of the bed and toward the door.

Ivar's heart officially broke from his chest and slid to the floor. What had he done?

As Alex approached the door, it swung open, "Well, if it isn't my two favorite fruit cakes! How the hell are you, boys? Or? It's not girls now, is it?" he laughed.

"Floki!" Alex exclaimed, rolling his eyes and crashing into his arms.

Ivar actually smiled a genuine smile as he said, "You dirty, old bastard. Where have you been?" He hoped Floki hadn't heard his and Alex's unpleasant exchange.

"I'm so sorry I haven't been here, guys. You know me, I've been out exploring the world. I was living in a tent in the mountains for the last few months, completely off the grid, until I finally decided to come home for a change of scenery. I came as quickly as I could after hearing all the desperate voicemails your family has left me." He walked to Ivar's bedside and bent down to hug him, "At the risk of sounding too sentimental, I sure am happy you pulled through your frightening coma, boy. I don't know what I would have done if we would have lost you."

"Hell, you wouldn't have known any difference. You're never here to know if I'm alive or dead anyway." Floki was about to tease Ivar futher, but upon looking at his snarl, he realized he was serious, and there was a clear bile to his statement.

He looked back to Alex who only shrugged his shoulders in defeat, dropping his head, and said, "I need some air. I'll leave you two alone to catch up, and I'll be back in a bit." Not waiting for either to reply, he left the room.

Floki turned back to Ivar, "You'd best get to talking, boy. What the hell was that about?"

Rolling his eyes, Ivar answered, "Who knows? I guess you better ask him if you really wanna know."

Floki pulled one of the chairs up beside the bed and sat down in it. "No, I'd really like to hear it from you, you miserable ass. What did you do to that boy? He loves you, and what I just saw was a very defeated and broken young man full of pain."

Ivar huffed and answered sarcastically, "Yeah, sure. He's the fucking broken one who's feeling all the pain. Ok, whatever. And I'm so sure you can tell from one sentence what his feelings are for me."

Knowing Ivar as well as the back of his own hand, it only took a minute to understand what was going on here. He'd been the closest thing to an uncle that Ivar had known growing up, and he'd spent a lot of time with him over the years, which also meant he'd spent a lot of time with Alex as well, since they had practically been inseparable when they were younger. "Ivar, that boy has loved you since you guys were just kids. It's a shame, actually, that it took you so long to figure it out. He'd take a damn bullet for you. Don't you know that?"

Ivar hesitated, his eyes widening, and ran his hand down his face, sighing deeply, before he finally asked, "How, umm, how could you possibly know that?"

"Well, for starters, I'm not blind, but don't you remember all those times the two of you came over and spent so much time at the house with my Helga and I?" Floki placed his hand over his heart as he mentioned Helga. "I sure do miss her."

"Me too," Ivar held his hand out to Floki and placed it in his.

"You two practically spent the entire summers with us. Well, she first brought it to my attention, and I, of course, laughed at her, but as I began to pay more attention, I realized she was right. Even Ragnar knew it, boy." Ivar gasped, and Floki laughed his signature giggle. "But it wasn't until your father's death that I realized that you loved him as well."

"What? How? I didn't. Umm, I mean. I never even."

"You always have been the hard headed one of the family." Floki smiled. "It sure did take you long enough to finally accept it, and stop fighting it. I only wished your father could have seen it, too. He always hoped you'd come to terms with it and if not end up with Alex, at least end up with someone who loves you like he does."

Surprised, Ivar asked, "He didn't have a problem with the thought of me being with another man?"

"On the contrary. He just wanted you to finally find someone who'd do right by you and who'd love you the way you deserved." Ivar couldn't believe what he'd was hearing.

"He'd be so proud, but look at you, now. Having this second chance at life and this opportunity to experience the kind of great love that only comes around once in a lifetime, and here you are, just pissing it all away like it's some luxury that everyone gets to partake in."

Not saying a word, Ivar seemed to be taking everything Floki had said to heart. He really did feel bad, but how could he fix that now?

Floki continued, "I was so overjoyed when I heard that you and Alex were finally giving it a go. He's the type that won't leave your side, even when he should, and I can tell from the tension in this room, that now is a time when he should. Talk to me, boy. What's going on?"

"I've, I, umm, I'm afraid I've fucked it all up, Floki." Ivar explained everything to Floki. For some reason, he'd always felt comfortable telling Floki anything. He was the one person he knew that wouldn't go anywhere after whatever madness he'd share with him. Then, he suddenly realized that he had that same thing with Alex, and he felt so ashamed. "How'd we get here, Floki?"

"It's not too late, boy. You only have to swallow your pride, and talk to him. He'll listen. Do you know what I'd give to be able to still talk to Helga, to tell her how much she means to me, how much she's always meant to me? Don't waste the time you have, the second chance you've been given. Talk to him, you idiot!"

Ivar then thought of what had truly become an issue for him and made him so hateful and angry, and truth be told, what made him the most embarrassed and loathe himself like never before. Could he tell Floki something that personal? Could he tell him he was not capable of the simplest act, the one thing that he used to do so well, that he wasn't even a real man anymore?

Leaning forward to Floki and placing his head on his chest, he began to fall apart. "Floki, I, uh, can't, I, my heart is broken. Fuck! I am broken."

Floki silently placed his arm around Ivar and waited for him to explain himself. He held Ivar as he spilled his heart out to him.

Never looking up into Floki's eyes, ashamed of himself for his incapabilities and how he'd been acting, he told Floki everything. "I've never hurt so badly, Floki, and it doesn't even have anything to do with my damn leg. That's just the icing on the cake. I can handle the physical pain. It's the torture of knowing I can't satisfy Alex anymore, of watching him hang around here everyday and knowing he's just wasting his time with me. I've done things, said things that I'm not proud of, that I know he can never forgive me for. I'm just a miserable, useless fuck up who can't walk and who can't fuck. What good am I at all to him or to anyone?"

Floki rubbed his back, trying to comfort him. When Ivar finally sat up and looked at him, Floki asked, "Have you asked him to forgive you, Ivar? How can you be so sure he won't? He wouldn't still be here if believed you weren't worth it, if he didn't truly love you. How can you decide for him, humm? Don't you think that's his decision?"

Wiping his face with the back of his hands, Ivar said, "Why would he?"

"Let me ask you this, would you forgive him if the tables were turned? Would you suddenly think he was a loser because he couldn't walk or because he couldn't get hard here in the middle of a damn hospital?" Smiling, Floki shook his head at the thought of them being so hot for each other that they were making out during the current situation.

"Of course, not. And of course, I'd forgive him."

"Then what makes you think he doesn't feel the same? Why would you think your love is so superior to his? You're missing the point. You just need to tell him how you feel and what's been bothering you. Talk to him. Simple as that."

"And if he's super mad, still?"

* "Well, if you want peace, first, you must prepare for war," * Floki smiled. "And as far as your other issue goes, what did the doctor say?"

Turning bright red, Ivar dropped his head and only shrugged.

Floki looked at him in disbelief, "You did talk to the doctor, didn't you?"

"Umm, well, not exactly. That's embarrassing. I'm surprised I even told you."

"And I take it Alex didn't either?"

"Not if he knows what's good for him," Ivar snarled.

Rolling his eyes, Floki said, "You know what? You're both idiots! You're here worrying yourself sick over something, that may not even be permanent, to the point that the two of you aren't speaking to each other, when all you had to do was talk to the doctor and get some solid information. I just can't even believe you." Floki dropped his head to his hands. "Do I have to do everything around here? How have you even survived this far without me?"

Floki stood up. "Wait. What are you doing? Where are you going?" Ivar asked him in a panic.

"To find your doctor and get to the bottom of this," Floki answered as if it was the most obvious thing.

Ivar sat up in bed, staring him down, and practically growled at him, "Don't you fucking dare!'

Floki took a step back, just out of Ivar's reach. "Yeah? And what is the cripple going to do to stop me? Humm? Floki smirked. "Are you going to stand and chase after me?"

"Fuck you, crazy old man!"

Floki giggled, "You can't! Remember?" he laughed and then added, "Save that for you lover boy." And before Ivar could say another word, Floki turned and ran into Alex as he was coming back into the room.

As Floki left, Alex came in and sat in the chair he'd been reading in earlier. Not speaking to Ivar or even looking at him, he opened his book again. They sat like that, avoiding eye contact, in uncomfortable silence for a while before Ivar finally sighed and asked, "How much of that conversation did you hear?"

Slowly looking up from his book, Alex softly answered, "Umm, just the end of it."

"So?"

Alex shrugged, "So what?"

Ivar ran his hand through his hair, trying not to get aggravated, "So, what umm, what do you... You know what, nevermind."

Alex closed his book, placed it in his lap, and then looked sincerely into Ivar's eyes. He waited for a moment, seemingly in thought, before he finally said, "Talk to me, Ivar." Alex huffed and took a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever argument this was going to cause, but he knew they needed to talk. This hurt him way too much. "Please."

Ivar stared at him with an unreadable expression that made Alex nervous, but still, he persisted, "Please, Ivar. If we can't talk to each other, then who can we talk to? I don't, I mean, umm, I, I miss you." He dropped his head and stared at the floor. He knew it was useless. He wasn't even sure why he'd even tried. Ivar had made it clear he didn't want to talk. Maybe what he really wanted was for Alex to seriously leave.

With that thought burning in his mind, he made one more final attempt. If Ivar wanted him gone, he'd leave him. He would no longer stay there against Ivar's wishes. His voice small and quiet, Alex said, "Ivar, I, umm. I won't bother you by staying here anymore if that's what you want. For the record, I don't want to leave, but I know when I'm not wanted. Can you please talk to me? Just tell me what's on your mind. Please." He turned away from Ivar and wiped away his tears.

Ivar felt horrible. How could he have been so cruel that he'd made the one person he loved more than anything feel unwanted. He hated himself for it. So much so that part of him wanted to actually let Alex go. And maybe he would have had he not talked with Floki. Floki had always had a way of putting things into prospective.

"Alex," Ivar's voiced cracked. He swallowed audibly, "I-I'm, uh. Please. Please don't. Don't leave me." He hung his head in shame.

To Ivar's surprise, Alex actually stood and walked up to the side of Ivar's bed. With hesitation still in his voice, he said, "I won't. Not if you don't want me to. But Ivar?"

Ivar looked up at him with clear worry in his eyes. "Yes?"

"If I'm going to stay here, and with you, we have to stop the frighting. I hate it when you're mad with me. I-I'm sorry for everything."

Ivar reached his arms out for Alex and Alex, breathing a sigh of relief, practically fell into them. Ivar held him like that as he began finally saying everything he'd been holding in. "I'm not mad at you, Love. I've been mad with myself. I can't. I'm not able. Umm, well, you know, I'm not whole. And I, umm, I feel like I can't make you happy any longer, and that upsets me for you. It's not fair to you. Not to mention, on top of all of that, I also can't walk. What good am I to you? I don't want to be a burden. I don't want you to resent me. I-I'd rather, ugh. You know me, all of it comes out in anger. I know I've said it before, so many times, but I am truly sorry. You haven't deserved my wrath."

Shocked, Alex raised up and placed his hand on Ivar's cheek. Wiping his wet eyes, he said, "Oh, Ivar, you know, you really are the most stubborn man I know. I'm not concerned with what works or doesn't with your body. I just want you to be ok. There's more to life than just sex, you know. You don't know how terrible it was when I thought I'd lost you for good. I never want to feel like that again. What is important is that you're still alive, you still have your life, you're still here. What you make of it, is up to you, but if you're willing, I am, too. We can get through this and anything else as long as we're together."

Breathing a sigh of relief, breath that he hadn't realized he'd been holding, Ivar pulled him back into another tight hug and pulled so tightly that Alex lost his footing, causing him to topple over onto the bed. "Ivar, you've got to stop making me do this!" Alex laughed. "What if I hurt you?"

Ignoring him, Ivar pulled him into the bed beside him. "Just where I wanted you. This is where you belong." He kissed Alex on the head as warmth filled them both. This is what he'd longed for, Alex at his side, his arms wrapped tightly around him. Now, that he had it, he wasn't letting go. He'd been so stupid, and he knew he was truly lucky. He just didn't know what he'd done to deserve it.

Alex nuzzled into the nape of his neck, happy to finally be close to him again. Ivar had been right, this was definitely where he belonged.

A few moments later, Floki came through the door with the doctor shortly behind him. Alex sat up, looking between them and Ivar, confused. Floki grinned at the display in front of him.

Glaring at Floki, Ivar's face turned beight red. Angrily, he said, between gritted teeth, "You didn't really..."

Cutting him off, Floki said, "No, I didn't. You're going to, boy. I found the doctor and asked him if he'd come back to your room with me because you have something important you'd like to discuss with him."

"Is everything ok, Mr. Lothbrok? You're not in too much pain, are you? I can get a nurse to..."

"No," he said curtly, eyes boring into Floki, "I'm fine." Ivar rolled his eyes as he answered, confusing the doctor even more.

That was when Alex grasped what was happening. Instinctively, he grabbed Ivar's hand and gently squeezed. He was worried how Ivar was going to handle the uncomfortable situation that Floki had thrown him into. His body grew tense as he felt the tension in the room grow as well, and he waited for Ivar's backlash.

"I can't believe that you," he started at Floki, as he glanced over to an obviously very anxious Alex. Pausing, he took a deep breath and then looked back to Floki. He knew his intentions were good and that his heart was in the right place, but he couldn't help the overwhelming urge to smack that smirk right off of his face regardless of the slight possibility that he could actually be right.

Even still, for the first time since the night that he and Alex had found that his body had an additional problem, he seemed to feel a bit of hope. What if Floki was right, and it was only temporary? Could he possibly be that lucky? He knew having hope was a dangerous thing, but after just having spoken with Alex and not wanting to hurt him even more, he decided to at least talk to the doctor. He didn't expect to hear good news, but he thought it was at least worth a conversation.

Swallowing his pride and doing his best to ignore the embarrassment that came along with the sensitive subject, he attempted to mention his erection problem to the doctor. His cheeks immediately flushing bright red and his heartrate quickening, he cleared his throat as he looked down and began. "Umm, I, uh, well, we have discovered that umm, well," Ivar felt beads of sweat roll down his forehead as he looked to his hand in Alex's and squeezed. "So, Alex and I. Umm, you know that Alex and I are. We're together. And umm," he truly struggled to get his words out, feeling ashamed of his incapabilities.

The doctor listened intently, trying to understand what, exactly, Ivar was trying to say. "Well," Ivar finally continued, "It seems that. Well, my. Fuck!" He took a deep breath, and then, he suddenly blurted everything out, all at once, as quickly as he could. "It's not just that my damn leg doesn't work. Other parts of my body don't work either, and Floki, here, suggested it may just be temporary because of stress or medication or I don't know what. And he ran to get you to force me to ask you. So, I just wanted to know, is it normal that I can't get an erection?" He breathed out heavily and wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. He couldn't believe he'd just said all of that, but he was thankful it was over.

The doctor looked around the room, and trying to be as sensitive as he could, he said, "My apologies, Son. Unfortunately, that is one of the side effects of the very strong medication that you are on, not to mention all of the stress that your body has been under."

He placed his hand on Ivar's shoulder, an attempt to ease his concern. "I'm sorry I didn't mention it to you before, but," he looked between him and Alex, clearing his throat, "I assumed that it wouldn't be necessary during your stay here in the hospital," he coughed, trying not to grin at the now, very red Ivar. "Hopefully, by the time you're released, the injections will be finished, and it will be something the two of you won't have to even worry about at all."

Ivar nodded, not sure he felt relieved just yet. He glanced at Alex and then looked back to the doctor. His cheeks flushing bright red again, he asked, "So, you mean umm, I-I'm not broken? I mean, umm. This is just temporary? Are you sure?"

He stepped back and looked at Ivar's stiff posture and obvious worried expression. "Mr. Lothbrok?" Ivar sheepishly looked up to him. "I can assure you that this is just a normal side effect from your injections. It will soon be a thing of the past. And if, for any reason, your problem persists longer than two weeks once you're released to go home, call us, and we'll see what adjustments need to be made to your other medications. Ok?"

Finally breathing a bit eaaier, Ivar answered, his voice small, "Umm, thank you." The doctor patted him on the shoulder, and he said again, "Thank you, really."

Smiling warmly at Ivar, with his hand still on his shoulder, he softly squeezed and said, "You're welcome, Son. I understand this can make things, umm, well, a bit difficult for the time being, but it is only temporary. My apologies again for not disclosing the side effects with you before we started you on this treatment plan."

Once the doctor left the room, the mood in the room shifted. What had been dark and gloomy for days, weeks even, felt lighter, brighter.

Alex looked to Ivar who was fidgeting with his hands, cheeks still red, and head hanging down. He was visibaly embarrassed and maybe Alex saw a twinge of regret in his eyes as they finally looked up and caught his own. "I'm truly sorry, Love. I've been such an ass. I should've listened to you."

Alex squeezed his hand, wrapped his arms around Ivar, and leaned over, kissing his cheek. "Shhh. Now, you have something to look forward to," Alex grinned.

"And that's my que to leave," Floki giggled.

"Oh, Floki," Ivar began, "I suppose I owe you a huge thank you."

"Put it on my tab, boy. If I charged you for everytime I saved your ass, I'd be rich by now." Floki grinned, happy to see the two of them smiling. He motioned between the two of them, "I like this. This looks really good on you."

Ivar looked at Alex and back to Floki, brow raising, "What does?"

"Love, stupid. I'm happy you finally found true love. I was worried you'd end up married to someone who'd spend their life taking advantage of you, and I'm so thankful that you only gave her a child and not your name," he chuckled.

Ivar grinned, heart warming, at the thought of such a precious child coming from the broken relationship he'd had with Katia and how it became a good thing. He, too, was happy he didn't give Katia his name, but now, as he looked beside him, he wondered if Alex would ever want to take it.

He could see their future so clearly, should he decide to take that next serious step, filled with nothing but love and happiness, spending their time doting on their precious princess and one another, a life dedicated to each other. His heart warmed.

He glanced to Alex again, his eyes filled with love and his head in another place, and he pulled his hand up to his mouth and gently kissed it.

"Speaking of which," Floki interrupted Ivar's train of thought, "I'm on my way to Ubbe's to meet little Ivy, now. That's why I must leave you two." He stepped to the side of Ivar's bed. "How is it even possible that you have a little girl whom I've never met?"

"Good question, old man. Don't stay away so long," Ivar answered him.

"Oh, I plan to be here for a while, now. You'll be sick of me. You'll see." He leaned down and hugged Ivar, whispering in his ear, "Take good care of him. He's a keeper." He giggled and rubbed the top of Ivar's head as if he was still a little boy, Ivar rolling his eyes.

"Alex, whip his ass if he misbehaves. And umm," he looked down to Ivar as he grabbed Alex's hand and squeezed in an appreciative way, "Officially, welcome to the family. Finally." And with that he headed to the door.

"Hey," Ivar called behind him. Floki turned around. "Thank you, and don't scare my little girl." Smiling from ear to ear, feigning innocence, Floki waved his fingers to say goodbye and practically skipped out of the hospital room.

Silence settled in between Alex and Ivar, both lost in their own thoughts. It had truly been an eventful day, a bit of an emotional roller-coaster, leaving them both exhausted.

Snuggling into Ivar's side, Alex finally broke the silence. "So, Floki approves, humm?"

Ivar smiled, voice filled with pride, "He does." He pulled Alex closer to his side and pulled the blanket over them both. "And apparently, father did as well."

Alex looked up to him, "What? How?"

"Well, according to Floki, you've been in love with me since we were kids, just teens." He grinned his typical devilish grin at Alex. "And father didn't miss it, so he says."

Alex lowered his head to Ivar's shoulder. "Oh, shut up. You're so cocky."

"And you love it," Ivar kissed the top of his head, his smile not fading until they both drifted away into a deep sleep.

-------------------------------------------------------

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-------------------------------------------------------

The next couple of weeks proved to be difficult ones for Ivar, but he handled them better than before, with a determined end in sight. He'd finally decided to give his all with physical therapy and was even actually able to stand on his own for a few moments at a time.

With that information, his doctor had told him he was well on his way to walking again, and it also meant no amputation, providing blood tests agreed, but for the time being, he needed to continue with the hard work.

After consistent work from Ivar, he was given a brace for his leg and crutches to walk with. He was finally able to walk short distances on his own. With the encouragement from Alex and his therapist, he was determined to accomplish his goal of walking again without help and getting out of the hospital.

Today was the day Ivar was going to have blood tests and exams of his legs to check how he was healing and if he would finally be able to go home. He had been on edge the entire morning, and Alex had been silently praying to everything holy that he wouldn't result to his typical angry outbursts. When they came to take him to the exam room with the wheelchair, he refused to use it. Just as Alex held his breath and waited for Ivar's wrath, he said to the nurse, "I think I can actually walk there. Can you just push the chair alongside me just in case I were to tire and need it?"

Alex snapped his head around to Ivar. He had been expecting anything but a pleasant, calm response from him. As a proud grin spread across Alex's face, Ivar innocently smiled back at him. "What?"

"Nothing. Let's get you down the hall to the exam room."

Ivar would have been lying had he said the tests weren't a bit painful. He had to place his right leg in very uncomfortable positions for the doctors to get proper readings of his muscles, tissue, and bones. They needed him to stretch it and hold it tightly in the needed positions. He was becoming frustrated and irritable as the tests went on. He gritted his teeth and began dreading the results. He was sure, now, that he'd be staying in the hospital for a while longer. All the confidence he'd felt walking to the exam room from his room had completely left him, and he now felt defeated. Again.

"We're all done, Mr. Lothbrok. You may return to your room now. The doctor will be in to see you soon with the results," one of the nurses said.

He slipped his brace back on, trying not to make a sound at the additional pain it caused, and stood up. He wobbled a bit and lost his balance, falling back to the exam table. "Woah, woah, Mr. Lothbrok. Not so fast. Take it easy. Are you ok?" the nurse asked, rushing to his side.

"I'm fine," he growled, determined to get up and try it again, and stood once more. This time, he caught himself on the table and managed to continue standing, though the pain certainly didn't seem to be helping.

The nurse motioned for the other nurse to bring the wheelchair over, and she turned facing Ivar. "I think we've put you through too much this morning. Why don't you let me push you back to your room so you can give your leg some rest and time to recuperate?"

She saw his look of desperation as she locked the wheels on the chair and then quickly added, "This is just for your comfort, Mr. Lothbrok. Using this wheelchair isn't what will determine you getting to leave us. The results of those tests will. It's too be expected that you'll be in a bit of pain after all the stretches, pulls, and twists we've put you through. I'm sorry for that, by the way. I'm actually quite impressed you still want to walk, but here," she offered him her arm for support, "Let me give you some relief, just this once, and assist you back to your room for now. You can have some pain pills if you require them once we get you settled."

At first, Ivar looked at her like she had horns growing from her head, but once he tried to remove one of his hands from the table that he was using to support himself, he quickly realized he should take her up on her offer even despite his feelings of immense failure. "Umm, ok. I guess," he said, refusing to look her in the eyes.

She stepped closer to him, "Let me help. Grab my arm." Ivar did as instructed, and before he knew it, she'd wheeled him back to his room and was helping him sit down on the bed. "The doctor will be in shortly."

Alex, who had been impatiently waiting in the room, stood up immediately and went to Ivar, who dropped his head. "Ivar?" he hesitated, "Do you need some meds?"

"No! I'm fine!"

Alex knew he wasn't, and he wasn't sure if he should push or not. The last thing he wanted was an argument, but he hated seeing Ivar in pain when he knew there was relief available. So he tried once more. "Ivar," and Ivar glared at him, "You don't have to take anything too strong. You could just take something to help the pain ease up some. You know it doesn't show a sign of weakness."

Ivar sighed, giving Alex a look of despair, "No, it shows that I'm not getting out of here today. I just really thought I was ready."

Alex grabbed his hand, "Oh, we knew the tests were going to be a bit rough, Ivar. Of course, you're going to have some pain from time to time, but what's important is if the infection is gone and that you can actually walk now. Don't give up now. If you don't get to go home today, they'll test you again in a few days. Whatever happens, you just have to know it's for the best." He leaned down and kissed him on the forehead.

"How can you always stay so positive?" Ivar said, finally looking up to meet Alex's caring eyes.

"Because one of has to be," he smiled. "If the two of us are mad, what could we ever accomplish?" He placed his hand on Ivar's cheek. "Let me get a nurse for you, ok?"

Ivar nodded, giving in to the fight. He knew Alex was right, but he couldn't prevent all the negative thoughts going through his mind. He knew if he didn't have Alex by his side, everything about his current situation would be very different. He sent a silent prayer above, thanking the powers that be for bringing Alex into his life.

Once a nurse came in and gave Ivar some medication, he finally laid his head back to relax. Within minutes, he dozed off to sleep with Alex at his side, rubbing his arm in an effort to calm him. Before he knew it, Alex had rested his head on the side of the bed and fell asleep as well.

After some time, the doctor finally came into Ivar's room. Ivar and Alex both stirred awake. "Sorry to disrupt your sleep, guys. Should I return a little later?" he teased.

Annoyed, Ivar groggily answered, "Please just deliver the bad news so we can rest."

The doctor grinned, "Well, I thought you may prefer to rest at home in your own bed."

Ivar sat straight up in the bed, "Wh-what? Did you just say?"

"Yes, Son. You are cleared to go home. The nurse is getting the paperwork together as we speak."

Alex gasped as Ivar turned to him and then back to the doctor, completely shocked. "But I. I couldn't walk back. It was. Damn. The tests caused a lot of pain. Are you sure? You're not messing with me, are you?"

The doctor stood at the foot of Ivar's bed and gave him a serious look, "I would never do such a cruel thing, but there are conditions. You still need to follow up with your therapy, and you must continue with your medication at home, but you don't need the injections anymore. The infection has cleared up quite nicely. I'm so pleased there's no worry of amputation. The nurse will schedule a two week follow up appointment with you to see me in the office. Between now and then, if you have any problems or questions arise, do not hesitate to call my office."

Ivar eyes glimmered with hope and excitement, "I was sure. I mean. I just knew I'd have to stay longer. I can't believe it. Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Mr. Lothbrok, you may still have some tough days ahead of you. You've been through a lot. Promise me you'll remember that, and forgive yourself when you need a break. And this is why you must also take the wheelchair with you. There may be a day here or there that you'll be happy to have it."

Ivar grimaced but said, "If it means I get to finally go home, I'll roll all the way there in it!" They chuckled.

When the doctor left, a very emotional Ivar looked over to Alex. "I, I can't believe it."

Alex quickly jumped into action. "Well, you rest while I get all of our things together. Let's be ready once the nurse comes." Ivar watched him rushing around, throwing things into bags, gathering items together, pulling get well cards off the walls, and he just smiled. He was thoroughly pleased with the news. He'd seriously began to believe he'd be in that hospital from now on.

His mind drifted to being home, seeing Ivy, finally, and feeling a little normal again. He wondered how long it would be before he could return to their club, when he'd be able to drive again, when he'd be able to bend over and pick Ivy up into his arms on his own, when he could do the normal things that he used to take for granted such as standing in the shower, running, or yes, making love to his ever patient, loving Alex.

Before he knew it, Alex was gently tapping him on the shoulder. "Ivar?" Alex said softly, "Are you ready? The nurse is here with papers for you to sign."

Ivar rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hands. "Huh? Umm. Was I sleeping?"

Alex smiled, "Yes. Apparently, your excitement wore you out."

The nurse went over everything with them and had him sign her paperwork. She gave copies to Alex as she headed to the door. "And congratulations, Mr. Lothbrok. I'm really happy for you."

When the door closed, Alex told him, "We're all packed up and ready to go. Who do you want to pick us up?"