#alchemical poetry

[alchemicalwerewolf]

everyone keeps saying that

it’ll all be fine

but what about when all I see

is what is not yet mine

I’m caught in this train of thought

caught in this state of mind

what if I don’t succeed

My father saying I can’t yet see

who I was meant to be

but my destiny it’s calling me

singing my name

crying for the fame

the fans

the name in lights

it’s impossible

it’s not possible

it’s all I hear it’s all I see

the probability is just not in my favor

but I keep pushing

trying to taste the flavor

of my dreams on my tongue

ignore how they say I’m too young

to know what I want

I’ll show them they’re wrong

I’ll prove that I’m worthy

I’m in a hurry

cause I’m no main character

but I can make a change

just gotta make my new font

and then everyone will see

the print that I made

Scrawled across their silver screen

I was made to be seen

And I will be heard

I can make the change

this world needs

if only by putting on a show

And playing some other role

[camilofebrero]

Women with extraordinary lives

[1introvertedsage]

Like a moth to a flame the darkness is consumed by the light.

The light now brighter, filling itself with all that was below. The darkness finding its home. Its own reason to glow.

~I.S.~

[rainsreverie]

i'm thinking rocky rickaby thoughts... my love he is an artist... a musician, a poet and more... a scientist, a researcher, someone who adores learning and knowledge and more... i cannot get over the fact so much of him and what he does now is something of a desperate, drowning "i want to be useful" above all else.

i love him so much... i want to romance him and cuddle him and i want him to look at me and think "not once has she made me think i wasn't exactly who she wants." or something of that sort...

"not once have i doubted my place by her side," not because i somehow rid him of that anxious quality of him but because i am so fervent in reassuring him without him needing to ask. it is how i am.

[tim84]

Christian faith apology…

Timothée à Paris en France !

2023.IV.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

List of Random Things For Your Dark Academia Settings | For Writers

The Library 📚

Towering mahogany bookshelves filled with ancient leather-bound tomes

Antique globes and faded maps mounted on the walls

Heavy velvet drapes blocking out the sunlight

Ornate brass reading lamps casting a warm glow

The musty smell of old books permeating the air

The Study 🪶

A large oak desk strewn with papers, quills, and ink bottles

Walls lined with pinned insect specimens and anatomical drawings

An antique typewriter, its keys clacking softly

Stacks of well-worn leather journals and notebooks

A cabinet of curiosities filled with skulls, fossils, and scientific oddities

The Classroom 🎓

Rows of old wooden desks, surfaces scratched with generations of graffiti

A blackboard covered in elaborate chalk diagrams and Latin phrases

Dusty shelves holding jars of formaldehyde-preserved specimens

Antique microscopes and brass telescopes waiting to be used

The tick-tock of a grandfather clock counting down the minutes

The Dormitory 🕯️

A four-poster bed heaped with tattered quilts and faded velvet pillows

Parquet wood floors layered with antique persian rugs

Flickering candles in tarnished silver holders casting dancing shadows

A steamer trunk overflowing with vintage tweeds and wool knits

Tea-stained pages of love letters and poetry scattered on the nightstand

The Secret Society Meeting Room 🗝️

An imposing stone fireplace with Latin phrases carved into the mantel

Worn leather armchairs circled around a low table set with tarnished silver

The air thick with pipe smoke and burning incense

Shelves lined with ancient masks, ceremonial daggers, and dusty alchemical tomes

Shadows dancing on the tapestry-covered walls in the candlelight

[azure-cherie]

PAC : Who of the nine Greek muses do you embody ? A message from the muse

➪Pile : 1-2-3 ☟︎︎︎ 4-5-6 ☟︎︎︎ 7-8-9

Hii loves how have you been , I'm back again with a reading, I hope you enjoy this please choose with your intuition and take what resonates , Reblogs, comments feedbacks everything is highly appreciated ❤️

If you liked this and would like to book or would want a bigger reading on the same topic :

Masterlist , paid readings , paid readings 2

Pile 1 :

Muse of music and lyric poetry

Channelled messages: " let go of societal restraints " , " paint the canvas of your life , write a poem about a wall " , " often see yourself as an ancient women of honour " , " feed the doves "

She comes forth to tell you about your potential how you're a very meditative being , you are so good at chanelling and you should do it more often , ask her to be your guide and write down all that comes through to you flow in your thinking and the ideas that come forth

Lean more into the devotional aspect of your life , see everything with the vibration of love. The trees the humans the animals , devote more into self love and worship the gods you already do .

Learn the right way to connect to the moon , you're in your journey and this is one of the crucial times , you're almost at the end of a karmic cycle stay stiff and strong

Don't get into arguments , if you do have mishaps with someone , lean into releasing the anger through creating music or producing tunes .

Take practical approaches to life , if someone says no to you do the thing on your own , your guides are always taking care of you .

Pile 2 :

Muse of dance and choral poetry .

Channelled messages : " learn about the folk music and dances where you stay " , " when in the blues play the beats " , " give more to the society in forms of art " , " start the YouTube channel"

Your devotion towards your deity or your guides is really admirable and that is something that's one of your best qualities people online or in person admire your liking towards a deity you inspire them .

The calmness of mind that can be attained through yoga is something she wants you to do , imagine a blue beam of light when you meditate , she tells you to connect to your primordial life form your soul .

Know about the necessary sacrifices one has to do in their life , your sacrifices now will bring you rewards later , don't fall for instant gratification

Abundance is soon to come in your life but work on cultivating a sense of detachment towards money , obsession ruins everything.

There might me a rock bottom moment in your life soon , she asks you to remain in your path as a human and as a soul take the lessons and move on soon you will alchemize your pain into passion and glory . You transform everything you're a becon of light .

Pile 3 :

Muse of hymns and sacred poetry

Channelled messages : " Levitate " , " dream big " , " nice downtown tshirt " , " the life that one has is a sum and minus of that they do "

If you're interested in writing do it , there might be an opportunity approaching you soon in this sector , though there's a warning about a setback if you don't take the opportunity at the right time don't worry you'll do great believe in the power of wishes.

You might rekindle a childhood bond on the basis of liking of movies or songs .

Business sector might have new opportunities your fortune is about to change you're gonna have the power to do what you want in your life because you're the creator of it , your destiny is now on hold make the best use of free will.

Connect more to the oceans and moon , fireflies etc , be in nature more and stay grounded .

Honour your soul by serving the temple you're in your own body , take care of your body give it ample rest and food .

Pile 4 :

Muse of tragedy

Channelled messages : " Dwelling on past has no rewards " , " crazy is as good as the sane" , " time flowes and glows and you grow "

Don't choose a hard life away from your desires because you're scared of disappointing people your path is enlightened more as you connect more to yourself .

Give into dark feminine energy and live in your truth , if you remain often confused or scared work on your root chakra .

Connect more to your guides through paintings and leave offerings of metal , feathers , corn etc

It's time to finally shine you're going from the hermit to an influencer you're gonna be famous it might start small but it will build up .

Keep away from external influences that stop your growth drop bad friends and family .

Pile 5 :

Muse of love poetry

Channelled messages: eat healthy and enriching foods , read about the love you already behold , the depths of see are beautiful and so is your heart of depth.

Abundance in the sector of love is coming soon you're gonna make the haters jealous , might even win a pagent or competition.

You might have felt Beauty is your curse but life's gonna show you how it's not you're gonna be so hight so uplifted I see you shining like a star

One has to prepare for glory start by saying affirmations and working on your third eye and root chakra .

Read more about lovers from mythology like Persephone Hades , Aphrodite ares , Radha Krishna etc

The boons served by the goddess are yours to keep and no one can question that , you're being divinely blessed and you'll be happy and dancing soon .

Pile 6 :

Muse of comedy and Idyllic poetry

Chanelled messages: Search for the small joys, poppies , these boots are meant for walking , spring equinox fairy

There's a confirmation in case you wanna go for the acting sector , this sector will require a lot of hardwork .

There's also a warning regarding someone in your job your boss or your guru they might take credit for some assignment you did beware and if possible say no because that thing might get your superior a promotion

You are to search bliss in satisfaction about what you already have the moon is to be admired by you the power to be soked it , are you ready for the full moon .

You're intelligent and people really admire you for that , gemini energy.

Move in your life in your true path of light don't be afraid or dim your light , your aura might have hints of white colour .

Pile 7:

Muse of epic poetry

Chanelled messages: Blow the bubbles up , get into kitchen witchery, Artemis , cry me a river

Don't give people the benefit of the doubt if you don't like someone let them go .

Fame is eminent in your energy, life coaches might help you , your aunt is giving you good guidence follow her .

Do your school projects and specially eat tangerine and other fruits that make you feel happy

Serve the world and create peace each small step is a long one in the collective , small things create big impact do your part and be sure of the effects .

Moon water energy and full moon is great for you to invite luxuries in your life , ground your root chakra and connect to your third eye your ancestors will be sending you messages.

Pile 8 :

Muse of astronomy

Chanelled messages: Fly me to the moon , peals and sandbox , honesty is the best policy , go go cheerleader

The first message for you is to balance all your chakras it's crazy my oracle deck pulled all chakra cards omg I feel like there soon will be a kundalini awakening for you

You're almost in your last stage of awakening get into the cosmic dance of life your life is about to change , abundance is coming

Hard message to get through but someone in your relationship might be cheating or there might be someone who has an eye on your partner and might try to frame them . Only for some people

Listen to your higher self write a letter to them

Your path from now on is of the hermit it might be lonely but it's worth it discoveries are on your way in fields of history, psychology, quantum mechanics etc.

Pile 9 :

Muse of history

Chanelled messages: 13 missed calls , glow up is loading , search in the Egyptian archives , glow and peach coloured cheeks

The number six is significant, also specifically for someone there's this person who is delaying your glow up by doing some nasty as spell , might be a close friend

You are ignoring some signs from the universe , they're coming again and again and you're ignoring it look into it closely , you're elevating in your consciousness.

Your energy levels are high and you're matching ahead in your journey setbacks are never the end the sheer power of desire iss enough to keep going .

You're slowly climbing the stairs of life to become confident and assertive you might even call upon a partner soon who is very sure about themselves.

You should plant more trees and learn about them about their origination etc , i specifically get about Tulsi and the lore behind it . Some others would be eucalyptus, basil and marigold.

Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed this

Have a great day/ night ♥️🌹

[osiiiris]

Primo Emeritus: Florence.

This is the first of my posts where I locate each Papa in Italian cities based on the occult influences/history of each city. I hope you find it interesting and useful!

Primo | Secondo | Terzo

Primo Emeritus, The Old One, the embodiment of all that is sacred. A personality like his deserves to be located in an ancient city full of art, poetry, and history, shaped by the esoteric and alchemical obsessions of the Medici family, amidst the enduring shadow of centuries-old Satanic cults.

Let’s see why I have chosen Florence for Primo.

In this chapel of ritual…

From the early 70s to the late 80s, a series of murders occurred in various regions of middle-north Italy, with the most infamous taking place in Tuscany, known as the case of the 'Monster of Florence' (Mostro di Firenze), which resulted in the deaths of 14 people - officially, but it is believed there were way more.

The theory is that these murders were part of a large network of Satanic rituals involving influential figures from Rome, Perugia, and Florence. This network is supposedly still active. The original cult allegedly responsible for initiating these rituals seems to be the 'Rosa rossa' (Red Rose) cult. 

A fertile ground for writing Ritual...

2. The creator of Hell.

Florence is the birthplace of Dante Alighieri, the renowned author of the Divine Comedy and the creator of the now canonical structure of Hell.

Primo could have had many more things in common with Dante than we expect: indeed, it is said that Alighieri was part of an esoteric cult named ‘Fedeli d’Amore’ (Loyals to Love), probably affiliated with the Templars. From there, Dante is said to have drawn inspiration for his symbolic and esoteric tales, as well as his passion for numbers.

Keep an eye on Dante, as he will eventually come back in the next chapters.

3. The ghost behind the open window.

It’s not a Ghost story without an actual ghost.

In Piazza Santissima Annunziata, there is a building, Palazzo Grifoni, that holds a mysterious detail: a window that remains open at all times, whether day or night, summer or winter. Legend has it that a woman of the Grifone family bid farewell from that window to her lover, likely Ferdinando I, who departed for war. She waited for him by that same open window throughout her life, but he never returned, dying in battle. When she passed away, the window was finally closed. However, soon after, numerous mysterious events happened in the building, to the point the residents concluded that the building was haunted by the ghost of the woman, and they have kept the window open ever since not to upset her.

But that's not all: the Ferdinando I statue placed in the square, has his face turned to look right to that window… At the very end, he finally came back to her.

4. The Boboli alchemical garden.

Boboli represents a very particular case of an alchemical garden conceived to be ‘accessible’ only to those who have a strong alchemical and esoteric knowledge. It is built as a symbolic route where you can contemplate the principles of magical and alchemical doctrine along the way. You’ll be welcomed by two fountains, placed one on top of the other: the Mose’s (it is an indoor fountain) and the Carciofo’s (artichoke). They are believed to represent the esoteric concept of “as above so below”, but the references to esoteric concepts are present along the whole garden.

Primo would have surely loved this place.

[alchemicalwerewolf]

Can we see/read any of your poetry or songs? I’d love to read them!

sorry this took so long 😅

here’s one I’m currently working on. Not very far into it yet.

***

write me a story,

sing me a song

tell me a tale

of the days

long gone

show me the place

where the lights are bright

and nights are long

with flappers and drinks

to move us along

while up in his room

jay gatsby dreams

and waits for his turn

to at last be seen

***

it isn’t done yet and I’m going to do some tweaking to it. It’s about the great gatsby! I would upload the instrumentals I’m making to back it but idk how lol

(also if this needs to be completely scrapped because it sucks y’all tell me because Jeremy is on the line for this one)

[adderalltheblue]

I got a new spell book!

[hcneygemini]

𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓰𝓲𝓻𝓵 sentence starters.

lyrics from rachel bochner's EP lovergirl. some lyrics have been adjusted to make them more suited to rp. feel free to combine, shorten, and edit phrasing as needed. do not add to this post or claim as your own. tw: suggestive themes.

angel numbers

slow it down, everything's fine.

fear of dying doesn't count.

we're connecting all the dots.

we're placing bets.

are we there yet?

is heaven real and does it matter?

i can't tell.

you kiss my shoulder when you think i'm sleeping.

a wish on birthday candles is the only secret i'm keeping.

you're my longest friend.

brooklyn

it's getting late, baby

we both got different places that we should be.

i might sound crazy.

i need an excuse to get a little bit closer to you.

i know you kinda want me to.

offer me a tour of your place.

what's my tarot reading have to say?

oh, i should stay?

it's 3AM in Brooklyn.

i'm seeing red.

i heard you the first time but, like, say it again.

say it again.

i understand this magnetic recklessness might bleed me dry.

i would do it again.

i can play it cool, baby.

i'm not the only one you wanted here in the crowd.

we make the rules lately.

i don't mind waiting until it all winds down.

if you're looking for plans, i know the city like the back of my hand.

anticipation's fun—let's wait a little more.

groupie

if it takes one to know one, then i think you've it, babe.

i think you've got it made.

i know it feels good when they're so obsessed.

it's written in the stars, it just hasn't happened yet.

it's hasn't, but it will.

the spotlight feels so good.

i never thought i'd want to share it.

one look at you and i'm like everybody else who's staring.

i like acclaim, but i love the way you turn the city into a stage.

i always saw myself in the starring role.

baby, for you i'm flexible.

i love the way you do it to me.

you take the spotlight, i'll be the groupie.

you're a primadonna girl.

i'm front row for the show.

you already know.

bright lights feel so good when i'm standing out in the open.

i could meet you in the green room when the curtains close.

put my name on the guest list.

okay, you have my attention.

creative liberties

okay, it was fun at first.

i've been wanting you so bad until it hurts.

i know that's how you like it.

i'm in the dirt.

i'm home alone, catastrophizing the worst.

i know so damn well that i'd cave and be yours if you just said the word.

i can't stop thinking of you.

i know you're probably thinking of somebody else.

i fell in too deep.

i took some liberties in stories of you that i tell myself.

i'm not crazy, i know it's fiction.

i've got you where i want you in my head.

i can fill the blanks in, words that you're not saying.

you need me.

you want to be more than friends.

you can't stop thinking about me.

it's probably only what i'll tell myself.

it's the truth, but modified.

i know it's not real life, but i can barely tell.

in my head, we're kissing in the bathroom stall.

in my head, i'm tracing down your body with my fingertips.

i know it isn't real, so how's it feel like this?

in my head, there's seven different versions of you in that dress.

your face is painted on the back of my eyelids.

alchemical

i think you mean it when you whisper something nice.

i see you in poetry.

i tend to find the messiest of phrasing.

i convolute or dilute what i feel.

would you mind if i put it quite plainly, and i asked you to touch me tonight?

won't you come over?

i am melting into this.

so come closer.

you could never get too close to me.

i tend to shy away from moderation.

consider me a hedonist at heart.

forgive me if i come off heavy handed.

once i start, i don't know where to stop.

won't you come closer?

i wanna be what you need.

i wanna know what you need.

oh, pretty please.

carolina honey

i ran three blocks just to kiss you.

i feel the lovers that precede you.

i think i'd give them all up if you asked me to.

i wish you would.

you stayed up a little later just to linger by my side.

you effortlessly recite things i could never write.

your metaphor bleeds into fact.

darling, i'm in the palm of your hand.

i don't know how, but i need you now.

we know i can't stay, even if i want to.

carolina honey, can you tell me what to call you?

it's no surprise i'm dreaming about you sleeping in my t-shirt.

when you walk me to your door i drown hook, line, and sinker.

this is the type of tenderness i know is gonna kill me later.

promise me you'll think of me when you're alone.

i look for you in every room.

i know what you are, babe.

can you see right through me too?

without a doubt

you said you don't wanna hurt me.

that's a silly thing to say.

if you want love, then you want hurting.

all good things come with a little bit of pain.

you said you're always gonna trust me.

i couldn't hold it in my brain.

i don't know much, but i know some things.

love is gonna chew me up.

love is gonna spit me out.

you will do the same.

love is gonna turn me in.

love is gonna break me down.

you will do the same, without a doubt.

when you get a taste of something sweet, you don't wanna give it up.

you'll stomach the repercussions.

there's a crash to every rush.

humans decompose into ashes, into atoms, so permanence is hard to entertain.

no matter what i say, i'll do it anyway.

love is gonna build me up.

even though i want to, i won't hold you to forever.

you don't need to love me always, as long as you love me now.

[cripplecharacters]

I have a character with chronic migraine (migraines?) who is an alchemist in the dnd 5th edition forgotten realms setting. Curing his migraines as the main reason he got into alchemy. He has other motivations, but he’s always tinkering with a concoction to help ease his symptoms. Does that seem like a reasonable motivation? If it helps, he also has other interests (language translation, poetry, other alchemical projects) and a vibrant life alongside his disability.

Hi asker,

I'm a huge fan of the setting!

Now for the real answer: When it comes to pain, whether it's migraine or anything else, it's hard on the body and often exhausting as well. Generally, people don't want to be in pain, and they go to various different methods to see if they help. Some do, some don't. Most chronic conditions aren't cured.

So, this does seem like a reasonable motivation, that part of why he gets into this field of combining technology and magic is to help with his pain. If I thought alchemy could cure my pain, I'd try it!

But you are right in that it does help that he has other interests aside from just curing his pain. When it comes to cure-related motivations, what often happens is that the Cure (tm) ends up being the character's only motivation and almost entire personality. So the fact that you've accounted for that and have given him a vibrant life is great!

Side note: depending on what your goal is for the character, you might want to speak to your GM/DM on if you want the character to actually achieve the cure. A TTRPG campaign can be a little different than other types of media because it's for just a small group of people, the players, unless it's being recorded and posted. And since it's collaborative in that way, you can talk to the other players to have your motivations and hopes all set so you're all on the same page.

I hope this helps,

– mod sparrow

[youremyheaven]

As a woman, am I not capable of being a genius? I read women are the Moon, thus vessels for men and have no light of their own. Women need to devote to a man who is the Sun and shine his light. That men as Solar are the only ones capable of being originators of ideas or progress or Truth (as they say) and thats how its intended to be, the woman/women since the sun cannot be restricted to one woman unless he desires to be should accept. Is it true or misogyny disguised as spirituality?

"Women are said to be the highest of vessels both physically and spiritually. We are the Moon which receives the light from the Sun and consequently reflects his light, his genius, all that he is. The Moon doesn’t shine on her own, but only in his light. His light is all over her body. She is the vessel that receives and is filled, thereafter “cooks” and gives birth to his energy, both in a physically literal way as a child or in an energetic sense, like a woman automatically subconsciously becomes the student of her chosen consort." - Taralina Nau (The Importance of Maintaining Female Sexual Purity on Medium)

I read the whole article (what you put in quotes) and I don't find it particularly misogynistic. I think men and women have a different relationship with sex. Women are by nature more inwardly drawn and emotional.

Men can bang 200 faceless women and maybe they'll feel disgusted afterwards but they'll more or less be okay. It's just not in their nature to absorb as such??

But a woman can't walk away from such an experience without being brutally affected by it.

But that said what you mentioned in the first part of your question is interesting.

A lot of the "divine feminine" content online reeks of misogyny and this includes Claire Nakti

But I did not interpret the specific Moon- Sun metaphor to mean that women can't be brilliant.

Moon has no light and women are inherently Lunar but there is strength and power in being receptive and reflecting light. The Sun can shine it's light but that's about it. The Moon receives AND reflects it. Imagine thinking that's not brilliant???

If you're entirely in darkness and all other stars around you are also dark, do you know how incredible you have to be to absorb and reflect light??? It's not a "lack", it's a quality and strength that's part of the Moon's unique nature. It does not create but reflects.

This is why the planet of creativity, Venus, is Yin. Because creation does not take place in "lack" or "absence". You can't make something out of nothing. In order to make anything, you have to draw from your influences.

Same goes for Moon. Light can't be created out of nothing. Only the Sun can do it. Does it make all other planets stupid??? Every planet has its own qualities 😩

The biological nature of a woman is to receive, alchemize and create.

We only need a sperm to make a whole ass baby inside us. Is that not mind blowing??? A human being with personality, likes, dislikes, talents etc is made within us???

But we do need that sperm. We can do 95% by ourselves but the other 5% we need from a man.

And that's fine??? It's completely alright?? It does not show weakness or inability?? Like am I also supposed to create the sperm on my own?? Lmao??

We were not put on this earth to be completely independent. Life would be disharmonious that way.

Now you may ask, what about men?

Men are Solar. The Sun creates its own light, it shines by itself. But it's life lacks purpose all alone.

Men don't do anything within their bodies, they're not wired that way. They don't have an interior life. That DOES NOT MEAN they're self sufficient or completely independent. They're inherently missing the feminine principle, the way the woman misses the sperm (the masculine principle lmao)

They seek it in art, poetry, beauty, gambling, porn, music, cinema, all forms of creativity because that's the Yin spirit. Even if a man avoids women and dies a virgin, he's still seeking the Yin in other ways. Why are women the biggest distraction for a man??? Because his presumed sufficiency feels hollow and empty and he needs to discharge himself energetically onto someone else.

Why are there so many films about rich, handsome, successful men who live lonely lives??? Because without the Yin, sufficiency feels limiting. Yin energy is innately spiritual and awakens them to both fun, pleasure etc but also subconsciously connects them to spirit and makes them feel alive. A man who has never been in love vs one who has are two different breeds.

[thefallenangelsgang]

As always, only half finished and kinda edited (as most of my bg3 writing is)

This is the Weave Lesson scene. I'm playing with using game dialogue and my own for kinda the first time for this maybe fic. I can't tell how it's going quite yet.

the only context you need for this scene is Gale spends his evenings practicing his spellbook in early levels and he gets frustrated at the pace he's crawling at. I have a fragment of this earlier in this scene where he slams his book onto his alchemy table (cause my game Gale was our potion brewer extraordinaire) and Wynleth hears glass breaking. its a passing mention in this.

(EDIT: there is something else. Wynleth describes being percieved directly by Lathander. This is a reference to her encounter with the god during her Paladin vows. I haven't ironed it out but the gist is she has spoken directly with the god once before)

I'm gonna also try a new way of formatting these posts.

------------------------------

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Gale huffs and runs his hands through his hair. I can see the mental battle he’s losing behind his eyes. Eventually he gives in.

“I’ve been in touch with the Weave for as long as I can remember. It’s like music, poetry, physical beauty all rolled into one and given expression through the senses. Mastering it felt as natural as breathing air. So losing it now feels like another kick in a series of blows to my ego. I suppose that was half of it.” He brings up that projection again. “She meant to bring low again, to humble me.” 

Absent-mindedly, he begins to play with his earring and exactly who is hovering above his palm dawns on me like a crashing wave. 

“Mystra?” 

He nods an affirmative while gazing wistfully up at the goddess that spurned him. 

I don’t know what to say. 

“Her idols don’t do her justice.” The words leave my lips before I really think about them. It’s true though, they don’t. The ones I’ve seen depict a sensual woman, clothing and hair animated by the very Weave she commands. Sharp features and languid poses that reek of the male gaze and look nothing like how Gale presents her now. It’s almost shocking how simply he paints her. She could be just another beauty walking the streets of Baldur’s Gate. “They truly don’t,” Gale whispers back.

“I’m ashamed to admit, the way you speak of the Weave makes me almost jealous. It seems so infinite.” Poetry and music and beauty. He truly has a way with words if he can make me crave something when my magic feels like the kiss of sunlight after a dark winter. 

The light comes back in his eyes as I shift the conversation. “Divine power must feel almost… limiting in comparison. Being only allowed as much as your deity sees fit.” Mystra’s visage is gone again, momentarily forgotten for the time being. The “More than you know,” dies swiftly on my tongue. He does know and that is the problem.

He gets an idea. I can tell by the look in his eye and the mischievous smile on his face as he pushes up to rest on his elbow. “Would you like to learn?”

What?

“You could teach me?”

He’s actually grinning now which makes me feel better. He’s not hung up on all this bullshit that’s going on. “Oh yes. Here-” He shifts into a seated position and takes my hands. Together we stand and move to the open space in front of his tent. I can't help but laugh softly at how serious he looks as he positions me and motions for me to stay put.

He turns away and makes for the table he has set up for his alchemical pursuits to retrieve his spellbook, snapping away the beaker I heard fall earlier. Prestidigitation. Perhaps that’s what he’ll teach me. I’ve heard it's a very useful spell with many applications, quick clean up being one of them.

He thumbs through the tome until he finds what he’s looking for based on the way his face settles in a self-satisfied expression. “This is a simple spell for channeling the Weave. See here-” He says as he positions himself just behind me and runs his finger over the sigil drawn on the page.

It’s brain-bendingly complex for a “simple spell.” Even the most complex healing sigils or anointments I had to learn were markedly less intricate. But it’s beautiful the way the lines curl and intersect. 

“It is, isn't it?” 

I must have said it out loud. Gale’s eyes are shining, they're so bright. He truly loves this. “Could you explain this to me, what all of this means?” I say, running my finger across the same path he did. There seems to be a start and end to the figure that the movement traces.

He launches into an explanation I only half understand but follow with rapt attention. What I do glean is I was right about the beginning and end and the segments of the glyph refer to different parts of the spell. Somatic, Verbal, and Material. This one only has Somatic and Verbal.

“I hope that wasn’t too hard to follow. I’ll admit, some of this stuff requires prior knowledge of spell composition.” 

He looks sheepish as he pulls the book away and goes to set it down gently off to the side so he can continue to consult it from afar. It’s endearing, his concern.

“Some of it certainly went over my head but I’ve read political treatise and legalese so dense they make your head spin. I’m no stranger to asking questions and learning more.” 

That seems to assuage him. He shakes out his arms and gives a winning smile. “Are you ready?”

“After you master wizard,” I say with a playful bow.

He makes a gesture that is almost like theatrically flipping something over in his hands. I watch astutely as something seems to glow from between them. Then he gestures for me to mimic him. I try my best. It’s a lot less confident than his, but from the wideness of his grin I’ve done it satisfactorily enough. Then a shiver goes up my spine as a feeling begins to overtake me. Warmth and… something I cannot place. It’s different from the sunlight of Lathander, or Shadowheart’s healing, or the electric crackle when Gale casts something. I must rock back at the sensation because Gale’s hand is there to meet me at the small of my back. “That’s the Weave. Don’t be afraid. You get used to it.”

It does feel like poetry. It feels like looking up from prose that touches your soul and letting the words sink into your skin and bury themselves in the very marrow of your being. I close my eyes at the feeling and let it wash over me. “More things on Heaven and Earth…” I say as I open my eyes.

“Indeed,” Gale matches my conspiratorial whisper. “That was the Somatic component. Are you ready for the Verbal?” I nod. “Repeat after me. Ah-Thran Mystra-Ryl Kantrach-Ao.”

The words are strange on my tongue but then the feeling somehow compounds, doubling, tripling in intensity. Gale’s voice is hushed in my ear as he leans in and whispers, “Now I want you to picture in your mind the concept of Harmony. As true as you can.”

My mind wheels through various options. Things I’ve been taught are harmony. People living in peace together. Unwavering Devotion to the Morninglord. People singing different words and notes but bringing together something transcendent and beautiful. 

None of it seems to fit. 

Harmony is this. It’s sitting in a Druid’s Grove full of people who just want to survive, surrounded by nature and beauty and finding a moment of peace despite the hell of our reality. It’s taking precious minutes of our lives for an impromptu magic lesson in a discipline I am wholly unfamiliar with. It's Gale's patience and my eagerness and this feeling rolling over me in waves. 

My hand finds Gale’s as a pulse of energy issues forth. 

An energy field envelops us. It plays with our clothes like a breeze in the absence of any detectable current. Weave. Purple and blue and as fine as spun sugar. It tastes sweet and floral and electric in a good way. 

Poetry and music and beauty all rolled into one. Gale has never been more right.

“It’s beautiful Gale.”

“That doesn’t even begin to describe it.” He muses, his eyes reflecting the beautiful light surrounding us.

“No. No it doesn’t, I choke out around an incredulous laugh. I feel the urge to weep and laugh and dance all at once. This is incredible.

Instead, we stand like this- Gale’s hand pressed against my back and his other clasped in mine- breathing in what feels to me like the cosmos for some time. 

“Do you feel her? Watching over us?” A reverent tone has taken over his voice as Gale breaks our reverie. Calling attention to it suddenly helps me put the feeling into words. We are being perceived by Mystra of all things. It’s a strange feeling, different than it was being perceived by Lathander. This is less direct, more idle than anything. It’s the comfort of knowing she is there. She is watching over us and keeping us safe. Tangible reassurance that your faith is not misplaced. This is a prayer answered.

“Thank you,” I say with a squeeze of my hand. We are making the most direct eye contact we have this entire encounter. No more passing glances that happen to meet or gazing at the other as they experience the majesty unfolding around us. Connection, true connection this time. 

“For what?” Gale breaths, like he truly doesn’t know what a gift this is. 

“For teaching me. For giving me a taste of what you experience everyday. For opening my eyes to this.” My free hand gestures around us and I mean to follow with my eyes but find I cannot tear them away. Gale looks so alive when surrounded by magic, in a way he isn’t when he is pursuing other things. It suits him handsomely. 

It sinks in exactly how intimate this moment is, the two of us connected not only by touch but by the very Weave itself. I could take a thousand nights just like this one and never tire. And what I would do for a lifetime of conversations about subjects like this one! Strolling arm in arm learning from each other. I am half-convinced even a lifetime wouldn’t be enough.

As if in the same breath,  I am filled by an almost innate sense of how beautiful I look lit by the Weave. The way my green eyes compliment the hues of purple and blue and the copper of my hair stands out against the ethereal backdrop. It’s a strange and discordant thought. Not mine.

I think we both realize at the same time that they aren’t our thoughts, that perhaps the tadpoles have pulled a fast one on us or even the Weave has something to do with it. We both blush in unison and impressively. 

And then we laugh. 

Gale’s laugh is always loud and rapturous. Barking would be a good way to describe it. But it’s pleasant and jovial. It feels right every time I hear it. I get the sense mine is musical in the way horn instruments are. Not like peeling bells, but brassy and boisterous and unladylike. That makes sense, my grandmother hated my laugh. It was too masculine and unbecoming of a daughter of a noble house, my culturally masculine social position be damned. Which is a damn shame, it is a nice laugh. 

“I- Um- Well.” Gale clears his throat, still blushing. “Unexpected consequences. Not unwelcome ones! But unexpected all the same.” I’m still laughing, gently now. “There is no harm. I’m glad someone likes my laugh.” Gale blushes impossibly harder.

In a swift movement, like a breeze blowing smoke away, the spell dissipates. It’s almost frigid in it’s absence, or maybe it’s the act of Gale stepping away that brings the chill. I refuse to let him release my hand though.

“There it goes. As fleeting as the dawn, wouldn’t you agree?” He smiles at me, pleased at his metaphor. 

------------------------------

[inkedwingss]

Thoughts on creating as someone who doesn't paint anymore

I could say the process of creating usually starts from an observation or a feeling from reality (mine or not), so we have mainly characters or human situations that provoke a reaction – which moves me. It could also be a need to protest against something I find unbereable or the need to hold an immense and especial moment captive; the former in fiction, the latter mostly for poetry.

But when I start to write, I also shift into this commitment, passion, or duty to the words and to the text itself. This is never manifested before, only through the writing; the literature, the langue becomes bigger and demanding. The portrayal should be self-sufficient, the intelligence of the reader and their particular perspective, respected. Even honoured, I would say, by giving them something true and raw, where they can explore, think, and feel by themselves (if that makes sense).

When I write, I see myself in the same place I used to be in my old atelier: surrounded by alchemical glass jars and suspicious mediums, be the lovely stink of turpentine, while I hold three or four brushes in one hand. Spots of self-made oil paint everywhere (even on my cigarette). Detached from time and space. Swimming through layers, layers, layers. Carefully adding a sparkle (a small word), by the corner, delighting in the contour, in the process of weaving the meaning, and connecting them. Painting aggressively, or really fast, just to step back and wait until I know it was time to go for the delicate, intricate work.

It was a portal that I would open, back in those nights, to meet the Ineffable. The expression was not mine, I was only a vessel willing to go through the pain and joys of labour. Giving light, giving life, what a humbling task! The craft is pleasure, even through possible moments of discomfort – you can't live without it. Writing is like that for me.

After spending almost ten years in a full block, I just hope that in the same way writing came back, one day, painting also will; and my my arms will be open, I promise.

[majestativa]

Friends becoming foes. Froes. Frauds. Errors of time and consciousness. A conscience ‘inalert.’ Nothing alarming though. The guts outlive the ache. The poetry filtrated from the mundane. A dark spring awaits us all. Feverish fervor. I inhale the truth like an opiate fragrance. The scent of revelations can be lethal at times. An angel, wounded, with wings cut, free to experience the dazzling disappointment of life, hanging just like Harut & Marut, their souls inviolable at last. A tower of mutilated silence, full of fire, hidden fire, red, devours the memories. Alchemizing the suffering, as the soul is purged. Lovely radiance of grief, kiss my heart! My soul exulting in its awareness shall be exalted. I am my heavens; they longed to be my flimsy hell but to no avail. I explore these dimensions with their poisonous eyes. Envy, condensed, felt like the tentacles of a once frightening shadow. I sharpen my weapons. Their hearts, cover my neck, pearls to my bloody amulet. The smothering perfume of revenge lingers in the cathedral tower, murmuring good omens. The augury of well-deserved downfalls. I shall conceal them in the pages of oblivion. I shall cover them with forgetfulness. I shall watch the water carry their ashes. For dust kisses dust, and ashes go back to the desolate belly of the earth.