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willow-salix · 5 years ago

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Day 96 of Isolation on Tracy Island and I did something today that I never thought I would and I’m sure that I will be regretting it for months, OK, maybe years to come.

It all started when I entered the lounge, which is honestly an everyday occurrence, I walk in and those little sods start acting up, but this time it was John that caught my attention.

“What was that?” I demanded to know.

“What was what?” he asked innocently.

“That face you just pulled.”

“What face? This is my normal expression.”

“No it wasn’t! It was the same face you pull when Gordon tells a bad joke or when Alan convinced you to try Marmite on your bagel, that one that is a cross between disgust and what the hell was that. And I want to know why you directed it at me!”

“I did no such thing,” he sniffed, turning back to his book.

I whipped the book away, tossing it onto the coffee table. “Yes, you did. Now, explain.”

“I didn’t do anything, I looked at you the same way I always do, with love, great respect and a little bit of thankfulness."

I raised an eyebrow at that. Space man was lying through his teeth. Considering I’d just gotten dressed after a leisurely bath and actually bothered with makeup I didn’t think I looked too bad. Apparently I was wrong.

“She doesn’t look like she believes you, bro,” Scott grinned, stretching out full length on the couch, arms behind his head, clearly settling in to watch the show.

“Do I look offensive today? Do I smell? Did I snore all night? Give me a hint here, babe, ‘cause I’m getting a wee bit paranoid.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong and you certainly aren’t offensive-” John started.

“Not all of her anyway,” Scott added in his loudest side whisper.

“Not ALL of me? So part of me is?” I crossed my arms defensively, feeling a huff coming on.

“No, not a part of you,” John promised, but I know when he’s deflecting and that was a definite deflection, the same tone he uses on prank callers and people being dramatic while he waits for the local authorities to answer the call.

I turned my glare on Scott. I’ll give him his due, he held out longer than I expected before he cracked, a whole ten seconds at least.

“He hates that top you’re wearing.”

“What?” I glanced down at my top, one of my favourites. It was a vintage number from somewhere in the 1980’s depicting cartoon characters of a band called Queen. It was baggy, saggy, ripped in places, fraying at the collar where I’d hacked it off and at the arm holes where I’d cut off the sleeves. It hung off one shoulder and sagged on the other and it was sooooo cool and comfy. It was just the best shirt ever.

“What's wrong with it?”

John made a face and crossed his legs protectively. I raised an eyebrow at that, don’t tempt me, dude.

“It’s just…” he paused as if trying to pick the least offensive way to describe it.

“He thinks it’s ugly.”

“Scott, stop helping!” John groaned, dropping his head into his hands.

“Oh!” I squawked, totally shocked and utterly appalled. “It is not ugly.”

“It is a little. It’s obnoxious, the cartoons are weird and it hurts my eyes to look at it,” John admitted. Scott burst out laughing, earning him a glare from both of us.

"Let me get this straight," I uncrossed my arms and dropped my hands to my hips, as sure sign I was getting annoyed. "You, the one who's favourite shirt makes you look like a rodeo clown. You who owns a dressing gown that looks like it mated with a 1970's couch, you who probably only keep it because you can actually see the damned thing from space, think my shirt is ugly? You are judging ugly?" I was utterly flabbergasted.

There was a thump as Scott rolled off the couch but still didn't stop laughing. We both ignored him.

"Yes, I'm judging ugly and those things on your chest are ugly."

I looked down at the twins in horror.

"You know it didn't mean those!"

Breathless wheezing was all Scott could manage as he gave up trying to haul himself back into the couch and just accepted his fate, laughing so hard that he was now incapable of making any sound at all.

I nudged him with my foot but it did little good so I just stepped over his flailing legs and advanced on John.

"This shirt is an album cover, it is a classic, it is an amazing album and I love it!"

"And I love my rodeo shirt…" he paused, realising what he had just said. "Not that it is a rodeo shirt," he backtracked hurriedly.

"Who are you trying to convince here?" I asked.

"Hey, what are you guys yelling about?" Gordon asked, coming into the room and skidding to a halt as he caught sight of one brother rolling around on the floor and another looking like he wished he was anywhere but there at that moment. His eyes slid to me and widened.

"Gordon!" John seized on his brother's presence gratefully, obviously needing backup. "Can you please tell her that my shirt is not ugly, nor is that dressing gown you gave me for Christmas."

"And please tell him that this shirt is cool and in no way obnoxious or ugly, not like his couch print nightmare!"

Gordon's eyes darted between us and he backed up a few steps.

"What's that Grandma?" he called over his shoulder. "You made fresh cookies? Sure, I'd love to try them!" he was gone before we could blink.

Scott gasped for air, wiping the tears from his eyes as he attempted to pull himself together.

I dived straight back into the fray, I'm a woman, we don't back down when we know we're right.

"Your things are so hideous they deserve to be burnt to put them and us out of our misery!"

"I'll burn my things when you burn that baggy sheet you call a shirt!"

I had a split second to make a decision, do I keep arguing, do I back down or do I make a sacrifice for the good of mankind (and my own eyes)?

No way was I backing down.

"Deal!" I yelled triumphantly.

"Fine!" he yelled back. "But you have to pick one, if you're only burning one thing so am I."

“Fine!” I agreed, nodding as if it were a done deal. “Burn that dressing gown, I can live with the clown shirt.”

“Fine! But now I’m going to wear that shirt every day and buy more to make sure I don’t smell!”

“Dude, how was that a threat?”

He paused. “I don’t know, but it was.”

“Fine.”

“Go and get that ugly thing!”

“I will.”

“Oh, and can you be amazing and grab me another shirt since I will apparently be needing one?”

“Sure,” he stalked away, then paused at the door and turned back to look at me. “What shirt do you want?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, just pick anything that takes your fancy, surprise me.”

He nodded and left again.

“Oh God, Oh I can’t breathe!” Scott gulped, taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly in an attempt to calm himself. “Even when you two are arguing you completely miss the point and end up being nice to each other and it’s hilarious.”

I nudged him with my foot again. “Get up, Chuckles, we need to build a fire.”

***

"What's going on?" Alan asked, wandering over.

"John finally admitted that he hates her shirt," Kayo told him.

"Does everyone know you hated it? Why am I always the last to know?"

John shrugged, obviously not willing to risk speaking and annoying me further.

“Are you two sure you want to do this?” Virgil asked, tossing another log onto the fire that he and Scott (when he finally pulled himself together enough to stand upright) had made in the firepit on the beach. Yes, we have a firepit, they are men, they like to make fire, it makes them feel all cave man and grrrr. Like speeding around the world in rockets wasn’t enough.

By the time we had emerged onto the beach, each gently carrying our precious sacrifices, the entire family had turned out to watch. Obviously lockdown had been so boring that anything was entertainment to them, even us doing a clothes barbecue.

I rubbed the hem of my shirt between my finger and thumb, feeling the soft material. It had been washed so many times and almost worn to death that it was super soft, broken in, more comfortable than anything else I owned. It was comfort clothing. You know what I mean, like when you slip on your favourite pyjamas and cuddle up under a blanket and then suddenly the world doesn’t seem so bad? Yeah, that was this shirt to me. I could wear it with leggings and slouch around the house as I had done today, or I could team it up with a pair of tight jeans, a studded belt and a few accessories, tie it at the corner to make it a little more form fitting and I’d be acing the rock chick look. It was multi purpose! Not like that disgusting dressing gown that seemed to exist just to spite me. That thing served absolutely no purpose at all.

I looked down at my shirt again. Could I really do this? Could I really destroy something I loved because he hated it? I glanced over at him, dressing gown rolled up and tucked under his arm. Yes, yes I could, if it would make him happy.

The offensive gown was just as hideous when you couldn’t see the shape of the thing. How was that even possible? OK, so maybe it did serve a little purpose, if only to annoy me. It’s kinda always been there, you know? I know when he’s having a bad day when he comes home and gets changed into that thing. Because it’s soft and silky and sometimes gravity is just a little too harsh after more than a week in space and all other clothes seem too heavy for him to deal with. I’m used to finding him in the kitchen at random times of the day making a sandwich while wearing it, or first thing in the morning when he’s hunched over a big mug of coffee, or when there’s an emergency call and that’s the first thing he grabs so he's dressed when he answers. Hell, I’ve grabbed it too, I’ve worn it when I’ve felt crampy and sick because it smells like him and that's comforting and I've lost count of the times that it was the closest thing to hand and I had the sudden urge for chocolate at 3am. And when I’ve come home and it’s not hanging up in the bedroom I know he’s home too and that’s just the best thing ever.

I stupidly risked a glance at his face and saw the utter devastation there. Nooo, why did I do that? Why did I look?

No! Be strong! I could buy him another that was just as soft and comfy, maybe even more so, I’d buy an even better one. One that actually has a nice pattern, or better yet, no pattern at all, a nice midnight blue one that would look amazing on him. He’d love it in the end. And I’d make him buy me like twenty cool new shirts to make up for this one.

“How are they going to do this?” Alan asked as we stood side by side beside the flickering fire.

“John should go first because he started this by not being able to lie properly,” Scott decided after John and I stared at each other for a few seconds, completely baffled. What can I say, burning clothes is a new experience for me. I’ve only done it once and that time I’d actually planned it.

“Fine, I can go first,” he set his shoulders and balled up the offensive gown. “A deal is a deal.”

“Is he actually going to do it?” Alan whispered to Gordon.

“If he doesn’t I’m going to tease him forever,” Kayo admitted, joining in the conversation.

I heard John take a deep breath and step forward. He inhaled slowly then threw the gown.

I don’t know why I did it, I don’t even think it was a conscious decision, my arm was moving before I even registered what was happening. I didn’t even know I could move that fast, usually I’d be hard pressed to outpace a sloth. But my hand shot out and I snatched the gown from certain death, dropping my own shirt in the process.

“Why did you do that?”

I looked down at the bundle of poop brown and gold ick that had magically appeared in my hands.

“I don’t know.”

“Then give it back.”

“No!” I tucked it away behind my back. “You love this ugly mess.”

“But you hate it.”

“So? What does that matter? This isn’t about me, it’s not mine.” I pushed it into his hands and snatched my shirt off the ground, balling it up ready to throw.

It was his turn to snatch. “What are you doing?”

“Duh, burning the offensive shirt, I made a promise,” I tried to tug it away from him but he held firm.

“You’d still burn it even though you won’t let me burn mine?”

“Sure.”

“But you love it.”

“Yeah, and you hate it,” I shrugged. Simple enough concept. No one wanted to walk into a room and be hit with the stink eye because they were wearing something that was apparently ugly.

“You’re not burning the shirt, it’s your favourite. We can’t like everything, that makes life boring.”

“So you’re agreeing to disagree?” Alan groaned. “This was the most ridiculous waste of time.”

Everyone nodded their agreement, Virgil and Scott looking sadly at their fire, now unused for the purposes for which it had been built, it would receive no sacrifice today.

WHUMMMP! Flames leapt up as something landed in the middle of the fire and quickly took hold.

“What the-?”

A shirtless Gordon shrugged. “Well, someone had to do it.”

So yes, I may have made a big mistake because I’ll never be able to complain about the thing again now that I’ve saved its life. It's going to haunt me forever more.

#john tracy #That dressing gown #scott tracy #Scott is being a shit #Selene is pissed #Thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds 1965 #thunderbirds 2015 #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds tos #tracy island #isolation island #thunderbirds in isolation #social isolation #self isolating #isolation

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brujas2 · 5 years ago

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Estrellas: Anne Hathaway, Octavia Spencer, Stanley Tucci, Jahzir Bruno, Chris Rock

Director: Alan Silvestri, Robert Zemeckis, Robert Zemeckis, Don Burgess, Roald Dahl

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THE STORY

After graduating from Harvard, Bryan Stevenson (Michael B. Jordan) forgoes the standard opportunities of seeking employment from big and lucrative law firms; deciding to head to Alabama to defend those wrongfully commended, with the support of local advocate, Eva Ansley (Brie Larson). One of his first, and most poignant, case is that of Walter McMillian (Jamie Foxx, who, in 62, was sentenced to die for the notorious murder of an 2-year-old girl in the community, despite a preponderance of evidence proving his innocence and one singular testimony against him by an individual that doesn’t quite seem to add up. Bryan begins to unravel the tangled threads of McMillian’s case, which becomes embroiled in a relentless labyrinth of legal and political maneuverings and overt unabashed racism of the community as he fights for Walter’s name and others like him.

THE GOOD / THE BAD

Throughout my years of watching movies and experiencing the wide variety of cinematic storytelling, legal drama movies have certainly cemented themselves in dramatic productions. As I stated above, some have better longevity of being remembered, but most showcase plenty of heated courtroom battles of lawyers defending their clients and unmasking the truth behind the claims (be it wrongfully incarcerated, discovering who did it, or uncovering the shady dealings behind large corporations. Perhaps my first one legal drama was 624’s The Client (I was little young to get all the legality in the movie, but was still managed to get the gist of it all). My second one, which I loved, was probably Primal Fear, with Norton delivering my favorite character role. Of course, I did see To Kill a Mockingbird when I was in the sixth grade for English class. Definitely quite a powerful film. And, of course, let’s not forget Philadelphia and want it meant / stand for. Plus, Hanks and Washington were great in the film. All in all, while not the most popular genre out there, legal drama films still provide a plethora of dramatic storytelling to capture the attention of moviegoers of truth and lies within a dubious justice.

Just Mercy is the latest legal crime drama feature and the whole purpose of this movie review. To be honest, I really didn’t much “buzz” about this movie when it was first announced (circa 206) when Broad Green Productions hired the film’s director (Cretton) and actor Michael B. Jordan in the lead role. It was then eventually bought by Warner Bros (the films rights) when Broad Green Productions went Bankrupt. So, I really didn’t hear much about the film until I saw the movie trailer for Just Mercy, which did prove to be quite an interesting tale. Sure, it sort of looked like the generic “legal drama” yarn (judging from the trailer alone), but I was intrigued by it, especially with the film starring Jordan as well as actor Jamie Foxx. I did repeatedly keep on seeing the trailer for the film every time I went to my local movie theater (usually attached to any movie I was seeing with a PG rating and above). So, suffice to say, that Just Mercy’s trailer preview sort of kept me invested and waiting me to see it. Thus, I finally got the chance to see the feature a couple of days ago and I’m ready to share my thoughts on the film. And what are they? Well, good ones….to say the least. While the movie does struggle within the standard framework of similar projects, Just Mercy is a solid legal drama that has plenty of fine cinematic nuances and great performances from its leads. It’s not the “be all to end all” of legal drama endeavors, but its still manages to be more of the favorable motion pictures of these projects.

Just Mercy is directed by Destin Daniel Cretton, whose previous directorial works includes such movies like Short Term 6, I Am Not a Hipster, and Glass Castle. Given his past projects (consisting of shorts, documentaries, and a few theatrical motion pictures), Cretton makes Just Mercy is most ambitious endeavor, with the director getting the chance to flex his directorial muscles on a legal drama film, which (like I said above) can manage to evoke plenty of human emotions within its undertaking. Thankfully, Cretton is up to the task and never feels overwhelmed with the movie; approaching (and shaping) the film with respect and a touch of sincerity by speaking to the humanity within its characters, especially within lead characters of Stevenson and McMillian. Of course, legal dramas usually do (be the accused / defendant and his attorney) shine their cinematic lens on these respective characters, so it’s nothing original. However, Cretton does make for a compelling drama within the feature; speaking to some great character drama within its two main lead characters; staging plenty of moments of these twos individuals that ultimately work, including some of the heated courtroom sequences.

Like other recent movies (i.e. Brian Banks and The Hate U Give), Cretton makes Just Mercy have an underlining thematical message of racism and corruption that continues to play a part in the US….to this day (incredibly sad, but true). So, of course, the correlation and overall relatively between the movie’s narrative and today’s world is quite crystal-clear right from the get-go, but Cretton never gets overzealous / preachy within its context; allowing the feature to present the subject matter in a timely manner and doesn’t feel like unnecessary or intentionally a “sign of the times” motif. Additionally, the movie also highlights the frustration (almost harsh) injustice of the underprivileged face on a regular basis (most notable those looking to overturn their cases on death row due to negligence and wrongfully accused). Naturally, as somewhat expected (yet still palpable), Just Mercy is a movie about seeking the truth and uncovering corruption in the face of a broken system and ignorant prejudice, with Cretton never shying away from some of the ugly truths that Stevenson faced during the film’s story.

Plus, as a side-note, it’s quite admirable for what Bryan Stevenson (the real-life individual) did for his career, with him as well as others that have supported him (and the Equal Justice Initiative) over the years and how he fought for and freed many wrongfully incarcerated individuals that our justice system has failed (again, the poignancy behind the film’s themes / message). It’s great to see humanity being shined and showcased to seek the rights of the wronged and to dispel a flawed system. Thus, whether you like the movie or not, you simply can not deny that truly meaningful job that Bryan Stevenson is doing, which Cretton helps demonstrate in Just Mercy. From the bottom of my heart…. thank you, Mr. Stevenson.

In terms of presentation, Just Mercy is a solidly made feature film. Granted, the film probably won’t be remembered for its visual background and theatrical setting nuances or even nominated in various award categories (for presentation / visual appearance), but the film certainly looks pleasing to the eye, with the attention of background aspects appropriate to the movie’s story. Thus, all the usual areas that I mention in this section (i.e. production design, set decorations, costumes, and cinematography) are all good and meet the industry standard for legal drama motion pictures. That being said, the film’s score, which was done by Joel P. West, is quite good and deliver some emotionally drama pieces in a subtle way that harmonizes with many of the feature’s scenes.

There are a few problems that I noticed with Just Mercy that, while not completely derailing, just seem to hold the feature back from reaching its full creative cinematic potential. Let’s start with the most prevalent point of criticism (the one that many will criticize about), which is the overall conventional storytelling of the movie. What do I mean? Well, despite the strong case that the film delves into a “based on a true story” aspect and into some pretty wholesome emotional drama, the movie is still structed into a way that it makes it feel vaguely formulaic to the touch. That’s not to say that Just Mercy is a generic tale to be told as the film’s narrative is still quite engaging (with some great acting), but the story being told follows quite a predictable path from start to finish. Granted, I never really read Stevenson’s memoir nor read anything about McMillian’s case, but then I still could easily figure out how the movie was presumably gonna end…. even if the there were narrative problems / setbacks along the way. Basically, if you’ve seeing any legal drama endeavor out there, you’ll get that same formulaic touch with this movie. I kind of wanted see something a little bit different from the film’s structure, but the movie just ends up following the standard narrative beats (and progressions) of the genre. That being said, I still think that this movie is definitely probably one of the better legal dramas out there.

This also applies to the film’s script, which was penned by Cretton and Andrew Lanham, which does give plenty of solid entertainment narrative pieces throughout, but lacks the finesse of breaking the mold of the standard legal drama. There are also a couple parts of the movie’s script handling where you can tell that what was true and what fictional. Of course, this is somewhat a customary point of criticism with cinematic tales taking a certain “poetic license” when adapting a “based on a true story” narrative, so it’s not super heavily critical point with me as I expect this to happen. However, there were a few times I could certainly tell what actually happen and what was a tad bit fabricated for the movie. Plus, they were certain parts of the narrative that could’ve easily fleshed out, including what Morrison’s parents felt (and actually show them) during this whole process. Again, not a big deal-breaker, but it did take me out of the movie a few times. Lastly, the film’s script also focuses its light on a supporting character in the movie and, while this made with well-intention to flesh out the character, the camera spotlight on this character sort of goes off on a slight tangent during the feature’s second act. Basically, this storyline could’ve been removed from Just Mercy and still achieve the same palpability in the emotional department. It’s almost like the movie needed to chew up some runtime and the writers to decided to fill up the time with this side-story. Again, it’s good, but a bit slightly unnecessary.

What does help overlook (and elevate) some of these criticisms is the film’s cast, which are really good and definitely helps bring these various characters to life in a theatrical /dramatic way. Leading the charge in Just Mercy is actor Michael B. Jordan, who plays the film’s central protagonist role of Bryan Stevenson. Known for his roles in Creed, Fruitvale Station, and Black Panther, Jordan has certain prove himself to be quite a capable actor, with the actor rising to stardom over the past few years. This is most apparent in this movie, with Jordan making a strong characteristically portrayal as Bryan; showcasing plenty of underlining determination and compelling humanity in his character as he (as Bryan Stevenson) fights for the injustice of those who’s voices have been silenced or dismissed because of the circumstances. It’s definitely a strong character built and Jordan seems quite capable to task in creating a well-acted on-screen performance of Bryan. Behind Jordan is actor Jamie Foxx, who plays the other main lead in the role, Walter McMillian. Foxx, known for his roles in Baby Driver, Django Unchained, and Ray, has certainly been recognized as a talented actor, with plenty of credible roles under his belt. His participation in Just Mercy is another well-acted performance that deserve much praise as its getting (even receiving an Oscar nod for it), with Foxx portraying Walter with enough remorseful grit and humility that makes the character quite compelling to watch. Plus, seeing him and Jordan together in a scene is quite palpable and a joy to watch.

The last of the three marquee main leads of the movie is the character of Eva Ansley, the director of operations for EJI (i.e. Stevenson’s right-handed employee / business partner), who is played by actress Brie Larson. Up against the characters of Stevenson and McMillian, Ansley is the weaker of the three main lead; presented as supporting player in the movie, which is perfectly fine as the characters gets the job done (sort of speak) throughout the film’s narrative. However, Larson, known for her roles in Room, 6 Jump Street, and Captain Marvel, makes less of an impact in the role. Her acting is fine and everything works in her portrayal of Eva, but nothing really stands in her performance (again, considering Jordan and Foxx’s performances) and really could’ve been played by another actress and achieved the same goal.

The rest of the cast, including actor Tim Blake Nelson (The Incredible Hulk and O Brother, Where Art Thou) as incarcerated inmate Ralph Meyers, actor Rafe Spall (Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom and The Big Short) as legal attorney Tommy Champan, actress Karan Kendrick (The Hate U Give and Family) as Minnie McMillan, Walter’s wife, actor C.J. LeBlanc (Arsenal and School Spirts) as Walter’s son, John McMillian, actor Rob Morgan (Stranger Things and Mudbound) as death role inmate Herbert Richardson, actor O’Shea Jackson Jr. (Long Shot and Straight Outta Compton) as death role inmate Anthony “Ray” Hinton, actor Michael Harding (Triple 2 and The Young and the Restless) as Sheriff Tate, and actor Hayes Mercure (The Red Road and Mercy Street) as a prison guard named Jeremy, are in the small supporting cast variety. Of course, some have bigger roles than others, but all of these players, which are all acted well, bolster the film’s story within the performances and involvement in Just Mercy’s narrative.

FINAL THOUGHTS

It’s never too late to fight for justice as Bryan Stevenson fights for the injustice of Walter McMillian’s cast against a legal system that is flawed in the movie Just Mercy. Director Destin Daniel Cretton’s latest film takes a stance on a poignant case; demonstrating the injustice of one (and by extension those wrongfully incarcerated) and wrapping it up in a compelling cinematic story. While the movie does struggle within its standard structure framework (a sort of usual problem with “based on a true story” narrations) as well as some formulaic beats, the movie still manages to rise above those challenges (for the most part), especially thanks to Cretton’s direction (shaping and storytelling) and some great performances all around (most notable in Jordan and Foxx). Personally, I liked this movie. Sure, it definitely had its problem, but those didn’t distract me much from thoroughly enjoying this legal drama feature. Thus, my recommendation for the film is a solid “recommended”, especially those who liked the cast and poignant narratives of legality struggles and the injustice of a failed system / racism. In the end, while the movie isn’t the quintessential legal drama motion picture and doesn’t push the envelope in cinematic innovation, Just Mercy still is able to manage to be a compelling drama that’s powerful in its story, meaningful in its journey, and strong within its statement. Just like Bryan Stevenson says in the movie….” If we could look at ourselves closely…. we can change this world for the better”. Amen to that!

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nedraggett · 6 years ago

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Thoughts on 2018

No need for me to be fancier than that! And yeah I realize that nobody should be using Tumblr any more but until I figure out a proper revive of my old Wordpress site, this will do for now.

So anyway: I wrote this up for a private email list reflecting on the end of the year in terms of things I especially enjoyed culturally. Well, why not share it?

My year went very well — steady at work and in life, being 47 means more aches and pains but you have to learn to live with it. The state of the world is something else again of course and we need not spend more time on the blazingly obvious. That said, the history bug in me has been constantly intrigued by the slow drip of the investigations (and revelations) and were it all fiction, I’d be thoroughly enthralled instead of quietly apprehensive, of course. November did provide some partial relief on that front so bring on the new year. In terms of my own written work, nothing quite equalled my heart/soul going into last year’s Algiers feature for NPR, but my two big Quietus pieces this year — on Gary Numan’s Dance and Ralph Bakshi’s Lord of the Rings — were treats to write, while my presentation on the too-obscure Billy Mackenzie at PopCon was a great experience.

In terms of music this has been one of the most concert-heavy years I’ve spent. Even having moved to SF in 2015 I only did the occasional show every so often — there was so much going on (even in a local scene lots of long-timers say has been irrevocably changed) that I was almost spoiled for choice, and part of me also just wanted to relax most nights. But deaths like Prince’s and Bowie’s among many others served as a reminder that there’s no such thing as forever, and you never know what the last chance will be. More veteran acts than younger ones in the end for me — greatest missed concert regrets this year included serpentwithfeet, Lizzo, Perfume Genius and Emma Ruth Rundle among the younger acts, while being ill when Orbital came through will be a lingering annoyance, still having never seen them live. But the huge amount of shows I did see outweighed that, ranging from big arena stops like Fleetwood Mac to celebratory open-air free shows like Mexican Institute of Sound to small club sets by folks like Kinski, Six Organs of Admittance, Kimbra and many more, including, for the first time in years, a show in the UK, specifically a great performance by Roddy Frame of Aztec Camera. If I absolutely had to grade my top picks among shows, Cruel Diagonals, Johnny Marr, Wye Oak, Peter Brotzmann/Keiji Haino, John Zorn/Terry Riley/Laurie Anderson, Laurie Anderson again separately, Nine Inch Nails, VNV Nation, Jarvis Cocker, Beak and, in terms of no real expectations turning into utter delight and thrills, a brilliant set by Lesley Rankine under her Ruby guise, with Martin Atkins on drums. Best damn combination of righteous ire, hilarious raconteurism and compelling, unique approaches to how performance can work I’d seen in a while. (As for recorded music in general, uh, endless?)

TV, as ever a bit sporadic, with a few things on my to-do list — still need to catch The Terror for sure, and what I saw of The Alienist looked good; I love both books so I need to see how it all worked out, similarly with the just-dropped version of Watership Down. Pose I definitely need to catch up with since it sounds like Ryan Murphy stood out of the way to let the best possible team do the business on it, but my real unexpected delight of a show this year was also Murphy-based, American Crime Story: The Assassination of Gianni Versace. While not down the line perfect, it was absolutely more compelling than not, and in fact at its best was a shuddering combination of amazing music cue choices, a reverse structure that helped undercut any attempt at making Cunanan seem sympathetic or an antihero, and, at its considerable best, a ratcheting up of terror and horror that a friend said was almost Kubrickian, and I would have to agree. And, frankly, Darren Criss really did the business as Cunanan, a controlled and powerful turn. Only a few of us seemed to be following it at the time, but when it scored all those Emmys, then while it was as much a reflection of Murphy’s status, it honestly felt well deserved. Meantime, you’ll pry my addiction to all the RuPaul’s Drag Race incarnations from my cold dead hands but it’s the amazing online series that Trixie Mattel and Katya do, UNHhhh, which remains my comedy highlight of the year, with at least a few jaw-dropping/seize up laughing every episode. (Kudos as well for Brad Jones’s The Cinema Snob, ten years running online and still funny as fuck while digging up all kinds of cinematic horrors.) Also, tying back into music a bit, late recommendation for something you can only see on UK TV/streaming so far, but get yourself a VPN and seek out Bros: After the Screaming Stops, in which the two brothers in the late-80s monster hit pop band Bros (never had any traction here but pretty much owned the entire Commonwealth and beyond) try for a comeback. It’s an unintentionally hilarious and harrowing portrait of two twins who have a LOT of issues, have clearly been through a LOT of therapy, but are still…not quite there. UK friends said it was a combination of Spinal Tap, Alan Partridge and David Brent and they were ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.

Movies, less specifically to choose from — I remain an essentially sporadic populist when it comes to what I see in theaters, but I can say for sure that Spider-man: Into the Spiderverse is a hell of a thing and will almost certainly prove to be a real year-zero moment down the line. Possibly the most affecting watch was Bohemian Rhapsody, in that I also saw this in the UK — in Brighton, which besides making me think of the band’s song “Brighton Rock” is also notably the country’s most LGBT-friendly city; those I was with felt the movie’s themes, successes and flaws/elisions deeply, and the constant discussion of it for the next few days was very rewarding. As for books, John Carreyrou’s Bad Blood, delving into Theranos and the amoral duo behind it, was properly enraging and compelling, while Beth Macy’s Dopesick, if not perfect, nonetheless adds to the good literature on the opioid crisis, while as ever indirectly calling into question who’s getting the focus and care now as opposed to in earlier times and places. My favorite music publications as such probably remain the two I most regularly write for, The Quietus and Daily Bandcamp, while Ugly Things is the print publication that I most look forward to with each issue, and am never disappointed.

Podcasts now consist of a lot of my regular cultural engagement, kinda obvious but nonetheless true. Long running faves include My Favorite Murder — Karen and Georgia are an amazing comedy team who have figured out how to reinterpret their anxieties in new ways — The Vanished, which at its best often casts a piercing eye on how official indifference from law enforcement is almost as destructive as their more obvious abuses (recent discovery The Fall Line does this as well, even more explicitly), Karina Longworth’s constantly revelatory Hollywood histories You Must Remember This, Patrick Wyman’s enjoyable history dives on Tides of History, my friend Chris Molanphy’s constantly excellent investigations into music chart history Hit Parade, the great weekly movie chats by MST3K vets Frank Conniff and Trace Beaulieu along with Carolina Hidalgo on Movie Sign With the Mads, and The Age of Napoleon, which really has hit my history wonk sweet spot. New to me this year was It’s Just a Show, a really wonderful episode by episode — but not in exact order — deep dive into every episode of MST3K ever, by two fun and thoughtful Canadian folks, Adam Clarke and Beth Martin. (Adam also cohosts a new podcast, A Part of Our Scare-itage, specifically looking at Canadian horror. It’s not just Cronenberg!). Among the excellent one-off series this year: American Fiasco by Men in Blazers’ Roger Bennett on the failed US World Cup attempt in 1998, Dear Franklin Jones, a story about the narrator’s experience growing up in a California cult and how his parents came to be followers in the first place, and the Boston Globe’s Gladiator, their audio accompaniment to their in-depth story of the life and ultimate fate of Aaron Hernandez. Finally, totally new series this year that quickly got added to my regular listening: American Grift, a casual and chatty look at various scams and schemes, overseen by Oriana Schwindt, The Eurowhat?, a running look at the Eurovision competition throughout the year from the perspective of two American fans, and The Ace Records Podcast, an often engaging series of one-off interviews with various musicians, fans and so forth by UK writer Pete Paphides (I highly recommend the interviews with Jon Savage and Sheila B). Hands down my two favorite totally new podcasts of the year were The Dream, a more formal story of American grifting in general hosted by Jane Marie — this first season’s focus was on multilevel marketing, and Marie and company’s careful way of seemingly backing into the larger story makes it all the more compelling and ultimately infuriating, especially in the current political climate — and the hilarious Race Chasers, a RuPaul’s Drag Race-celebrating podcast by two veterans of the show, Alaska and Willam, loaded with all kinds of fun, behind the scenes stuff, guests and an easy casualness from two pros that strikes the perfect balance between going through things and just shooting the shit. Returning podcast I’m most looking forward to next year: the second season of Cocaine and Rhinestones, hands down. Check out the first season for sure.

And there ya go! Keep fighting all your respective good fights.

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bigmacdaddio · 3 years ago

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Corporal Punishment: SJMetuchenHS 1968-1972

Peter Hendricks <[email protected]>

To:John Kuhn,Jeff Reich

Cc:Ned Gentz,Al Szaroleta,Alan Cherepon,Albert Camisa,Ana Rocciand 121 more...

Thu, Sep 22 at 11:21 AM

Memories Good, bad and otherwise great relationships : Firstly I unfortunately will not be able to attend our 50th reunion. Memories (bad) I was punched in the stomach by Coach Chris Halpren in class; George Shamy & I were hit on the top of the head by Bennie Napolioni? Latin class (poor George I always dragged him into my foolish stuff); I was jacked up in the hallway by Ed Mautner (history teacher & member of the John Birch society); and thrown out of the library for playing loud music. I was foolish but not a wiseguy. I remember when (sorry about this Mack) Mayor Kevin McEvoy blurted out “ Yasdi did it” and Mautner had Yasdi take off his glasses and Mautner knocked him out of his desk –Mautner was such a nice person/teacher NOT!!! Thankfully he was terminated shortly thereafter. Lastly, on the bad, John Jake Farrell ( a determined Irishman) likewise was ripped out of his desk by either mautner or one of the brothers in class He got up dusted himself off and resumed class. I know how he became a harbormaster. On the good/great side I learned so much at St Joe’s about people,relationships, and I even capitalized to some degree on the awesome education opportunity offered by our school. To this day I have maintained in close contact with some of our classmates(to name a few) Jeff Venezia who I see a few times a week in the gym,Mike Mulqueen who had afanominal coaching career at Rutgers as their head track & field coach,when John Schierman was at Rutgers as i head swimming coach we would often meet at events,Mike Kenny & I have been friends for life,George Shamy and I as attroneys are as close as brothers,Carl Branciforte, Ed Zullo(marine & chiropractor), Pete Towns,Mike Healey & wife Trish(sister to Larry Fox) have all enriched my life one way or another.Also I have maintained a close relationship with Ms Anna Rocci over the years.She even served on our local Ethics committee as a citizen volunteer I truly love her.Everywhere I go if given the opportunity I mention St Joe’s and the responses are always positive and usually the discussions evolve into do you know so & so etc . I have been so blessed to have been given the opportunity to attend and graduate (man that was a challenge!!)our fine school. God bless, as if he hasn’t already blessed us all!!. Pete

Peter,

I suspect we all have a mix of memories. How can one not over four years?

The physical stuff was ugly at times in those benighted days before corporal punishment went out of fashion. Bro. James delivered a smack across my face one time simply because I had been out walking the grounds during lunch (he was red-faced at the time, either with rage or drink. I generally liked the guy, too, but his personal arc later proved tragic).

Shreck, who doesn’t deserve a “Mr.,” also required us to stand, salute the flag and pray before each American History class (this as Vietnam was raging, threatening us all). And the Bircher nonsense he spouted was the sort of pablum that one hears from Trump and his ilk these days (actually, it was instructive to learn about the roots of such political paranoia. I’ll never forget how Shreck dissed Elvis because Abbie Hoffman had written how “the revolution” began with Presley).

For me, however, the upsides far outnumbered such nonsense. Doc. Aubin’s English classes were mind-expanding. Project Seven was an intellectual cornucopia. Ecology Day observances and a sensitivity to environmental worries, courtesy of Mr. Murphy, was broadening. Going to a Traffic concert in NYC with him and another teacher was remarkable, as was a class trip to see “Woodstock.” Getting to perform in “Indians,” a provocative play that has resounded for me over the years, especially as I’ve come to learn more about Native Americans while teaching in Nebraska. And working as an editor on The Falcon News (at least before I ceded the paper to Bill Walczak) launched my career in journalism.

It was an extraordinary place for most of us, I think. And the sorts of work that so many went on to testifies to that, I suggest.

I much look forward to comparing notes, as I expect we all do.

Best, JW

Michael Lyons <[email protected]>

To:Peter Hendricks,John Kuhn,Jeff Reich

Cc:Ned Gentz,Al Szaroleta,Alan Cherepon,Albert Camisa,Ana Rocciand 120 more...

Thu, Sep 22 at 1:39 PM

Pete,

Completely agree with your assessment of Mautner. I recall vividly an incident with Donnie Pulaski, he was reading from the text and had temerity to say Kin Tut as opposed to King Tutankhamen. Mautner flew into a rage and using a full swing hit Donnie in the back of the head, knocking him out of his desk. Corporal punishment was legal in New Jersey at the time, but for an academic issue and not a behavioral reason was out of line. He should have been charged with assault, perhaps a few months in the Middlesex County lockup, would have been an object lesson for him! Never trust a man in a Khaki suit.

To a more suitable topic, I found a copy of Indians wedged into one of my book shelves. And a word of mention to John Kuhn's sister Jean, who had the only female part in the show. The book in in fragile shape, I could not open it as it would destroy the binder. See Attached:

Regards,

Mike

Some of our alums are having trouble with their computers, so I've been asked to send out some messages:

From Jake Farrell:

I must apologize for the rant at the end of my email. I was sincerely trying to rally the troops to get more of our classmates to attend. Sharing our life experiences , of course, is a large part of the event In hindsight I probably could have used better adjectives but the dog ate my Barrons Vocabulary.

From Jimbo Patten:

HANG A MOON JIMBO HANG A MOON <clap clap HANG A MOON JIMBO HANG A MOON <clap clap> HANG A MOON JIMBO HANG A MOON <clap clap> Did I succumb to peer pressure? Absolutely not! I would jump at the chance to make Barney Dolan, Ed Zullo, and my brand new friends from Carteret, Jake Farrell and Big Al Cherepon laugh. It was Al who saw the duffel bag under my desk in 101 with the word “Jimbo” scrawled on the side and he laughed and he thought it was the funniest thing. The name stuck to this day. We were coming back from a track meet on a school bus with the words “St. Joseph High School” in big letters on both sides. But being 14 years old, young, dumb and full of cum, never gave it a thought. Some prima donna followed the bus to the school and complained. First thing Monday morning. Brother Aldrich, the principal called me out into the hallway. Oh shit! Over the summer, there was a meeting with Brother James O’Grady, the Dean of Discipline and my father, who did not mess around. Although I do not remember what I had for breakfast 3 days ago, I remember VIVIDLY my father telling Brother James: “Brother, you have my permission to do WHATEVER you deem is necessary to ensure my son stays in line. While my father was speaking, Brother James was locked in with frozen, eye contact looking at me up and down and said. “I’m sure James and I will get along just fine”. So I was sweating bullets. “Where you on that bus?” “Yes Sister” force of habit no pun intended after 8 years of nuns. “I’m a brother not a sister! “ He could have added the word “asshole” but didn’t. “Were you the one hanging your cock your rock your dick and your balls out the window?” He emphasized each word with a hard kick to the shins. Ooooh. Ooooh I don’t remember anything after that. My real punishment has been working with crazy 14 year olds for the last 40 years as a licensed clinical social worker in a large suburban high school (still working off my purgatory) I also work in a juvenile detention center where all I see now are murderers and child rapists. The latter group is much more pleasant to deal with because of the lack of discipline in our high schools. From the looks of all your successes, no harm done. I never got into trouble after that. St. Joe’s saved my ass. I was a dead end kid who listened to Brother Richard and ran for 12 seasons. If all it took was a kick in shins, totally worth it for a kid like me. I have a great life. Love to all who need it Tempus Fugit Jimbo

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countessofsnark · 7 years ago

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Thunderbirds Are Go – ‘Bubble Therapy’

Bubbles were fizzing all around him, popping their wonderful fragrance into the air and filling the bathroom with the scent of a springtime meadow. Scott had stretched out his long limbed body, feet splayed against the other side of the tub while his head was resting on a towel. Bath time was sacred on Tracy Island – a rare example of solitude and seclusion in a home where privacy is hard to come by.

Whenever he had a moment to himself, Scott would either be contemplating life and past rescues, reading a book (escapism brought on by years of bedtime reading and a natural interest in literature), or jerking off (50% stress relief, 50% dealing with unwanted horniness). Tonight, as he felt his body relaxing underneath its blanket of bubbles, the former seemed to be called for. Thoughts were hopping around like bunnies on a sugar high. Scott tried to reason with his hyperactive brain, but to no avail. He didn’t understand why he had to be the one whose bath time activities would be dominated by reflections and contemplation instead of blissful meditation or other relaxing distractions.

Why couldn’t he be more like Virgil, who sipped beer while watching Discovery Channel or Netflix on the wall mounted TV he had put up himself? Or Alan, who would use bath time to catch up with the latest comics he’d bought online? And Gordon, who would be playing with rubber ducks in spite of being on the verge of leaving his teens behind? Thankfully, John was another special case. John was a self-confessed shower aficionado who hated bath tubs. It had taken a lost bet with Ridley O’Bannon to force him to try taking a bath for a change. Much to Ridley’s – and Scott’s – amusement, John grudgingly admitted he liked the experience and was considering another go. (Though the promise of a shoulder massage by the aforementioned Captain O’Bannon may or may not have something to do with that.)

He grabbed the glass of wine that sat nearby and took a satisfying sip. His left arm itched so he instinctively scratched it, almost forgetting the reason for that annoying itch. He raised his arm out of the water and inspected the ugly red line that ran across his biceps. The scar tissue is healing rather well, but the memory of what caused it was now replaying in front of his mind’s eye. He flexed his arm and sighed. When the flashes of the jetpack accident had subsided, other thoughts came knocking on his mind’s proverbial door. Ugly ones, like a pack of persistent bullies that just wouldn’t give him a break.

Scott wouldn’t call himself vain by any stretch, but he did take pride in the fact that he had maintained a slim, lean frame all through his twenties. Now on the verge of turning 30, he doesn’t want to lose those well toned pecs and that taut butt (one of his best features, according to the few ladies who were fortunate enough to catch a gimpse of said butt). In fact, he is more often than not plagued by body issues, especially with regard to his brothers’ physiques. Virgil is by far the most muscular, buffed up brother. Then again, in his line of work, that was more of a necessity than an aesthetic nicety. And yet, Virgil seemed to be naturally beefy, intense gym sessions have only added to more prominent muscle mass. Gordon, on the other hand, had started out scrawny but extensive training in and out of the pool had transformed the smallest Tracy brother into a human torpedo. Even now, his Olympic glory a thing of the recent past, he has retained an enviable muscle-to-fat ratio. Little Alan, on the other hand, is a bit too young to have fully defined muscles just yet. Yet there is no doubt in Scott’s mind that Alan is destined to become a very striking specimen.

But as for him… people always did tell him that he and John were like twins – apart from the fact that John is a true ginger, with gorgeous green eyes, and a floppy hairdo. But even John, subject to harsh zero G conditions on Thunderbird 5, had more natural muscle mass than Scott. John’s biceps was never not visible inside his tight space suit. His legs too were quite defined – and they were longer than Scott’s – and finally, his butt stood out just a tad more favourably. Scott hates himself for picking up on these details. Hates the way he would look at his mirror image and see the flaws rather than celebrate the diversity, the uniqueness of who he is.

His own arms are still spindly compared to John’s. His lanky legs are built for sprinting and jogging, and for all manner of airborne stunts (jumping off ledges, crawling and climbing, you name it, he could do it more gracefully than the most experienced Olympic gymnast). And as for another body part, well, he doesn’t care that much for comparison because he believes performance matters most. Yet he knows that Virgil and John outmeasure him in this area and he tries but fails to not let that fact get to him. His hair is still full and luscious and shiny (the latter is owned mostly to a shelf full of hair products) but he keeps finding grey strands that are a thorn in his eye – like youth abandoning him prematurely, the burden to bear for carrying the weight of International Rescue on his shoulders.

Scott yawns and rises from the lukewarm water. He reaches for a towel and dabs his body dry. The house is quiet now, midnight approaching fast underneath a starry sky. He slips beneath cool covers, shivering slightly as they touch his damp skin. Sleep is the only thing that can stop his mind from turning. In spite of his tendency to get lost in thoughts, insomnia has never been a recurring issue for him. At least there’s that.

Maybe I spend too much time squinting at screenshots and the insane detail of the boys’ uniforms (and CGI clothing in general in TAG), but I can’t help noticing the differences in body shapes between the tall and long limbed bros - John definitely has nice looking biceps, while Scott is basically a slightly more developed version of space noodle Alan. But while Scott has pecs that are somewhat visible beneath his suit, his arms are kinda, well, noodly - unlike most of his bros? Scott always looks confident and careless but what if there was a different, hidden side to him and his Smother Hen alter go? So one thought led to another and… Here we are. @kellyfhaycock @madilayn

#thunderbirds are go #scott tracy #fan fic

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curious-minx · 5 years ago

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“Did you know that Russian dolls are actually Chinese?”or how I learned to do the Time Warp in Alphabet City

Cut to: Tompkins Square park. A location that any professional dog walker worth their sidewalk salt inflicted dog paws has worked as a dog walker in New York City should be very familiar with. An area of Manhattan that has a gravitational pull to it whereas most of Manhattan prefers to hold you at a distance or tickle you with a sweat soaked strap on and cackling finance bro pit stains.

Back in the year 2019 (Otherwise known as The Year Of Loose Ends) there was some sort of New York city public access event advertised on the nyc based the skint featuring Natasha Lyonne that I really wanted to attend. NYC��s the skint dot come is a digital guide to the scrappier and disingenuous side of nyc attractions. I am sure they will be broadcasting official boho Soho Covid-19 fashion bomb galas, sweaty stand up and inept wine tasting. Unfortunately my former roommate decided to leave the apartment completely unlocked because she was just that kind of witch and I had to course correct and miss the whole interview. A pretty weak New York missed connection but one that still rankles me, because who knows when we’ll be able to freely trot out our Hollyw00d starlets safely out into the public again.

Natasha Lyonne is like if Joe the Camel were a Lioness (Joanne the Lioness?) adorned with a flambeau crown of messy locks and a borrowed short king’s Columbo jacket. I haven’t smoked a cigarette in years but seeing Lyonne wield a cigarette in hand I am overcome every time with a second hand nicotine rush. The same way Jon Hamm makes me go ham for rye and vodka sodas. On her 2019 Netflix original curio Russian doll, the series finds Lyonne delivering as a full force and auteur directing and overseeing the entire first season. A first season of TV that feels completely devoid of any studio exec middling and is actually filming on location. Russian Doll is one of the last and only interesting Netflix comedies focusing on original and interesting woman-centric stories. RIP Tuca and Bertie. RIP Lady Dynamite. Holding my breath for you Dolly Parton’s Heartstrings.

This year Parks and Rec is sugar footing itself back into the NBC pasture and Amy Poehler in general feels removed from the network (I guess she’s still making arts and crafts with Offerman which seems like a missed Covid content opportunity). Her latest hands on deck executive produced project is a banal and ugly adult animated comedy The Duncans (or is it Dunceville, one can never remember these things). And lest we forget that she’s also in the adult swim orbit with Three Busy Debras. Remember 2019 Wine Mom romper Wine Country on Netflix? Poehler is operating at peak polarity. And unlike her SNL and award show gala gal pal Fey she hasn’t had to deal with any black face scandals, but instead had been quietly profiting off of the backs of countless thankless voices of the myriad talented people. Her UCB empire has since dried up and turned into something of a Wal-Mart of alternative comedy. As competitive as ivy league schools with even less reward.

Who can really blame Poehler of wanting to relinquish and brush away her origins in the UCB? Poehler is now a TV mogul and while she doesn’t have a Shondaland level keys to the kingdom she does still manage to have a growing pasture of content. How else could her brother have had the opportunity to foist his Swedish sitcom on an uncaring public? Bottom line, You don’t want to see Natasha Lyonne doing a Harold. That’s what. makes the Poehler collaboration a fun choice because clearly Poehler is putting her name on Russian doll as a means to an end to be in the same conversation as Lyonne. In an interview with the LA Times (https://www.latimes.com/entertainment/tv/la-et-st-russian-doll-amy-poehler-natasha-lyonne-20190201-story.html ) Poehler calls Natasha Lyonne her personal Tony Soprano.

Russian Doll is a show built from the ground up by an exclusively female based creative team. I think it may explain why Doll’s depiction of New York free of your typical white fuckbois and dilettantes that occasionally bog down these kinds of shows. All of the men in this Doll House are more or less leaning towards the unconventional character actor axis, and it’s Charlie Barnett’s performance as Alan that leads the pack. Barnett’s Alan makes for a perfect foil for Lyonne’s Nadia and it might be due to the actor coming from a storied an interesting childhood raised on a sail boat in The Longboat Keys in Florida. As a twentysomething mostly cis white male I found these casting choices exhilarating. I suffer from representation fatigue and much prefer my creative outlooks contain perspectives I normally wouldn’t have direct access to. Like Nadia’s two besties, the artsy as hell queer and lesbian Maxine and Lizzy portrayed by two HBO alums Greta Lee (a brief but satisfying arc on High Maintenance, a show Russian Doll has a lot in common with) and Rebecca Henderson a similar brief arc on West World (a show i have not been desperate enough in quarantine to revisit. Sorry to what I am sure is the horde of West Heads reading this right now). Also shout to Brendan Sexton III who is doing one of the most tasteful homeless performances since the Fisher King, and it blows me mind that he was one of the kids in cult classic Welcome to the Doll House. And there’s another fun Todd Solondz crossover with the smoky sexy dragon voiced therapist Elizabeth Ashley was in Happiness.

Russian Doll like most recent streaming network offerings feels more or less lost and jumbled into the mix of content. Now in the throes of neverending Quarantine these Groundhog remixes and reimagining tickle a different portion of the imagination now than they did back in February 2019. Last year during its initial premiere Happy Death Day 2U (the unexpected sequel to a mild campy horror comedy Happy Death Day) came out a week later. I definitely recommend checking these movies out if you enjoy this series but not because they are all that similar besides the glaringly obvious overlaps in premise. Both creations focus on spotlighting a woman who is more or less a complicated anti-hero. There is a third Happy Death Day (Happy Death Day To Us!) in development and I have a feeling that it will realistically come out before there is another season of Russian doll.

Will there still be able to be New York based TV and cinema set in and around New York with actors and background actors filling up sidewalks and parties again? Netflix has an annoying business model of swiping the table settings out from underneath series that are starting to get their footing. Netflix also seems more interested in making a viral season of reality television instead of an original scripted conceptual dramedy. The most spiritually connected property in Netflix’s cache is Black Mirror and a choose your own adventure style twist would be pretty satisfying set inside the Russian doll verse. Is that a feasible creative strategy filming every series into a choose your own adventure styled special? I am sure no one else wants to know what happens to Nadia and friends more than the Harry Nilsson estate who probably hasn’t been this thrilled with a licensing deal since the Popeye movie.

Dammit I think I forgot to lock my apartment! I went out looking for my pet iguana Trail Mix who’s usually reliably perched at the Iranian health food bodega, but now I’m not so sure. Also, haven’t we already met before?

#tv seires #russian doll #netflix #nyc #happy death day #time loop

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enanitosverdesfan69 · 7 years ago

Note

6,8, 32 :-)

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

well I didn’t like actually hear it but I remembered the song “eye in the sky” by the alan parsons project and like, heard it in my mind n that reminds me of a buncha ppl like my ex, my dad, my grandma, my other grandma, my grandpa, it’s a great song you should listen to it

8: how often do you listen to music?

bro I’m always listening to music I hardly ever stop it’s my preferred art form to consume if that makes sense like I just love music a lot I’m always looking for new stuff and there’s just a lotta stuff I love

32: Do you like watching scary movies?

hell yeah I love horror movies n stuff! I don’t generally get scared by them the only things that really scare me are turtles and the concept of getting ugly but I just think they’re great to watch as pieces of art like fucken, one of my favorite movies of all time is dumplings which is a horror movie and it’s so good and I think a lotta cool stuff has and can be done with the genre

thanks a lot for the asks bro!!!!! :C)

#holy-moonlight-sword

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dorkforty · 5 years ago

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So I was going to continue looking at the comics that came out while I was on blog vacation last month, but then something came out just last week that begged commentary first…

Strange Adventures 1 by Tom King, Mitch Gerads, and Evan “Doc” Shaner

It’s always a pleasure when Tom King’s doing “serious” work. Which is to say, NOT an on-going monthly or Event ™ comic that forces him to play within the rules of modern corporate spandex storytelling. Not many people can turn out great work under those circumstances, mind you, so I don’t necessarily fault King for not churning out a few years’ worth of instant classics two times a month on Batman. But I figured out pretty fast that I just needed to skip that stuff, and hold out for his next 12-issue novel.

Because those books ARE instant classics, worthwhile additions to the super hero canon that actually have something interesting to say. Each of them takes moribund corporate-owned characters and reinterprets them through a modern lens. Omega Men, for example, examines the fine line between freedom fighters and terrorists. Vision explores the lengths to which some people will go to pursue a quiet normal life. And Mister Miracle delves into Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

And that brings us to Strange Adventures. This time around, King’s tackling Silver Age sci-fi hero Adam Strange, an Earth man who gets whisked off to the planet Rann, a science paradise under constant threat from various monsters and invaders, all of which Adam fights off with heroic aplomb.

PEW! PEW!

He becomes a planetary hero, romancing and eventually marrying Alanna, the science-princess daughter of Rann’s leader. More than one writer (Alan Moore included) has commented on the uneasy subtext of this set-up, and King’s using it to deal with issues of colonialism and the atrocities of war.

You’ll notice the… rather stark contrast between the two realities at play here. The flashback sequences, depicting Adam fighting for Rann in the idealized style of his Silver Age adventures, are drawn by Evan “Doc” Shaner, an artist with a penchant for just that sort of funnybook heroism. The sequences set on Earth, where Adam and Alanna seem to have retired so that Adam can go on a book tour signing his published memoirs, are drawn by frequent King collaborator Mitch Gerads, who’s known more for gritty realism than anything else.

(An Aside: Gerads was also the artist on Sheriff of Babylon, King’s other 12-issue novel, based in part on his experiences as a civilian contractor for the CIA. That’s original fiction, not based on a preexisting corporate property, and so I didn’t discuss it above. But it, and King’s past, inform pretty much every comic he’s ever written. He saw some terrible things, and knows a lot of people who were scarred by them, himself included. The struggles of his protagonists are often mythologized versions of things he and other veterans have had to live through, and that gives all this stuff a verisimilitude most comics of this nature lack.)

But we were talking about the art…

The dichotomy of Shaner and Gerads’ styles is one of the book’s selling points, mentioned in pretty much every bit of pre-release press I saw for it. But what surprises me is how well those styles mesh. Shaner’s stuff is simpler, cleaner, and more open, while Gerads is grimier, and uses more obvious digital effects (check the motion blur on that Gerads panel above, for instance). But when you dig down to the underpinnings of the two men’s basic styles… They’re really not that far apart. Their anatomy and facial structure are actually pretty similar, and they both have a fascination with interesting camera angles. So by the end of this first issue… I won’t say that I had stopped noticing when the art changed. But it was far less jarring than I expected.

Getting back to the story, the big question is whether or not Adam Strange did the things he’s being accused of. Without SPOILING too much, I’ll just say that I kind of doubt it. He definitely killed some people. Maybe a lot of people. I mean, we already saw him blow up a manned laser tank in that first flashback up above. But it was war. Killing happens in war, and we don’t generally accuse the troops of murder. But as for the atrocities Angry Bro up above is accusing him of… Some or all of that may have happened. From what we see in this issue’s flashbacks, the war raged on after the Zeta Beam wore off and Adam was returned to Earth. Thing may have gotten rough in his absence, and the Rannians may have treated the Pykkts very badly indeed in the aftermath. We don’t know the details yet. But I kind of doubt Adam had a hand in the worst of it.

I mean, it’s possible. We find out on page one that he and Alanna lost their daughter. We don’t know how yet, but depending on the circumstances, I could see him snapping and doing some things he now regrets. I have a feeling her death was pretty ugly, anyway. See that last page I posted above? Take a close look at that shiny thing lying on the table in the bottom two panels. I believe that’s Adam’s laser pistol, and reflected in it is Alanna, talking on the phone, alongside a framed picture of their family. Now look closer at the picture. Does it look splotchy? That’s because this is how it looks when you see it in full a few pages later:

So, yeah. Something bad happened. I’m not even sure why Adam and Alanna would keep that thing at all, much less keep it in a frame beside their bed. Whoosh.

So it’s possible that Adam was involved in whatever atrocities happened, but at the same time it just doesn’t feel right for the character as King’s writing him so far. We’ve yet to see how much the Rann flashbacks are idealized rose-colored memories. Some of the dialogue is pretty corny. Cornier, even, than I remember the original Adam Strange stories being. That could just be King doing that thing I hate where he over-states the ridiculousness of old funnybook stories to make his own writing look better. Or it could be a squeaky-clean history that Adam’s trying to sell the world in his book. We don’t know yet. But the Adam we’re seeing on Earth in the present just seems too… earnest? …to be a war criminal. I mean, he goes to Batman, for god’s sake, and asks him to investigate in hope of clearing his name. And you don’t do that unless you’re pretty damn sure you’re innocent.

So, again, I don’t think Adam’s directly responsible.

Unless he was in the conflict so deep that he genuinely doesn’t see anything wrong with what happened.

But I kinda doubt that, too.

I mean… He and Alanna have moved to Earth for SOME reason, right?

Hmm…

I do have more theories here. I think the placement of Adam’s laser gun in that reflecting shot up above may be significant, for instance. But there’s a couple of plot points I don’t want to spoil, so I’ll save those suppositions for another time. For now, I’ll just say that this was a great first issue. King, Gerads and Shaner have set up an intriguing premise, chosen an interesting narrative structure, and packed the issue full of little details that make me want to re-read it. Again. Because I’ve already re-read it once, and that run through made me notice things I had missed the first time. So I figure there might be more. That’s the kind of comic I like best. Feels like I’m getting a good return on that five-dollar investment…

A Post-Script:

I was just playing around with my image software, and decided to try laying Shaner’s cover over Gerads’ as a transparency. I thought the result was kind of interesting…

Heroic Aplomb and the Atrocities of War: Tom King’s Strange Adventures Launches in Fine Style So I was going to continue looking at the comics that came out while I was on blog vacation last month, but then something came out just last week that begged commentary first...

#Adam Strange #Doc Shaner #Mitch Gerads #Strange Adventures #Tom King

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pentanguine · 6 years ago

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In which I get mad at Ms. Holmes of Baker Street

Ms. Holmes of Baker Street is a truly awful man-ifesto arguing that Sherlock Holmes is really a woman--and not just any woman, but a delicate, weak, constitutionally inferior woman! C. Alan Bradley and William Sarjeant take it upon themselves to misapply deductive reasoning in blatantly sexist ways, and the result is...certainly something. If you’re the kind of person who enjoys entertaining themself by getting angry at other people’s shoddily constructed arguments, you might enjoy it. Hopefully you’ll also enjoy my commentary on select gems from this rigorous scholarly work.

-“The authors recognize fully that, in making our interpretations of these remarks and these attributes and, indeed, at many other points in the analysis that follows, we risk offending our feminine readership by making generalizations about women that certainly do not apply to the whole range of womankind. However, we live in an age when divergence from the sexual stereotypes is more usual, and much more permissible, than it was during the Victorian and Edwardian times that were the setting for Holmes's investigations. We urge our readers to remember how much more closely the women of Holmes's day were forced, by social circumstances and pressures, to conform to the expectations, not only of their menfolk but also of their mothers, sisters, aunts and peers. Such generalizations are not only easier to make about women of that time than about women of today but also, we sincerely believe, much more likely to be valid. Similar pressures were, of course, forcing the men of that time to conform closely to their own, very different, stereotype. The gulf between the sexes was infinitely greater than it is today—and the individuals who, like Holmes, dared to traverse it, were infinitely fewer.” BULL FUCKING SHIT DUDES you can’t argue that she’s daring to traverse it and still utterly beholden to it in the same fucking sentence!!!

[On their argument that Sherlock was (un)familiar with certain subjects because of her gender] -Women were held to stricter standards of gendered behavior than they are now? Ok, fair. But you are literally arguing that this woman disguised herself as a man and lived as a man!! You are saying that she grievously broke these gendered norms!! And yet she couldn’t be bothered to brush up on her politics?? NO man, not even a private investigator, would DARE to learn about perfume?? Somehow her uterus is magically aligned with these stereotypes and gives her debilitatingly bad cramps?? (Idk if you’ve noticed, cis bros, but the majority of women don’t actually vanish from public life once a month. I’m pretty sure if your period is actually incapacitating that’s a medical issue) OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO STUPID

-They’re arguing…that Holmes is a woman…because a dog…humped his leg.

-“Was it, indeed, an awareness of physical unattractiveness that caused Holmes to despair of marriage and to embark, instead, on a career that would involve lifelong roleplaying?” OH GOOD GOD ‘What if…hear me out…Sherlock Holmes became a brilliant consulting detective because he knew he was too ugly to attract a man?’ *tee hee*

-“In this adventure there is the well-known scene in which Holmes "picked up the steel poker, and with a sudden effort straightened it out again." This, however, is no proof of masculinity. Everyone has heard at one time or another of the mother who, in sudden exertion, is able to lift the automobile under which her child is trapped. Dr. Grimesby Roylott's behaviour had been sufficiently threatening to arouse a similar reaction. If we picture Holmes's eye on his child—or in this case, on Watson!—all becomes clear.” WOMEN CAN ONLY BE STRONG WHEN THEIR LOVED ONES ARE THREATENED

-“What man ever orders another to put on his hat—and what wife ever fails to do so?” Nothing says deductive reasoning like rhetorical questions about culturally specific gender stereotypes based in misogyny and toxic masculinity

-“But [what about] the boxing? Yet Watson gives no details to support his asseveration.” This just in: women Cannot Hit Things

-“It is of the first importance," he warns Watson, "not to allow your judgement to be biased by personal qualities." LIKE YOUR OWN MISOGYNY PERHAPS

-“Sherlock, for once, visits the Watson menage and soon finds the most comfortable chair. Note her crossing of the legs—left over right, the reverse of the masculine norm.” BEHOLD the rigorous deduction

-“No doubt it was not the right time of the month in which to endure so emotionally stressful an adventure!” FUCK off, you namby-pamby little nose-wiping gits before I punch you, you smug bastards

-WILL YOU STOP GETTING YOUR LITTLE INTELLECTUAL NUTS OFF ON THE IDEA OF WOMEN BEING SOUNDLY BEATEN BY MEN DESPITE THEIR ‘GOOD SHOW’ AT TRYING TO BE EQUAL THE POOR DEARS FUCK YOU

-“Whilst Victorian Puritanism was indeed extreme, it is surprising that Holmes shared it to such a degree that he considered a not-very-determined attempt at seduction to be as serious as murder!” AND THEY LAUGH AT SEXUAL ASSAULT WHO’S SURPRISED NOT ME

-This book is just the product of a period fetish

-“A man may understand another man, but no man may ever hope fully to understand a woman.” And yet you’re certainly trying

-“it may have been that Sherlock’s mother was—unlike the present writers!— a Bronte fan” ‘Just in case you think we like, you know, ~women’s literature~, ha ha, no homo!!’

[On their claim that Sherlock went to university disguised as a man while her parents sat passively at home and despaired] -Ok, the major flaw in the argument at this point is why didn’t her parents just expose her and drag her home in disgrace?? If they know about this, why are they sitting at home wringing their hands going “Oh, our poor little Charlotte’s a cross-dresser whatever shall we do!” when they could be getting her kicked out of college and dragging her right back home again?? Cut off her resources! Discreetly force her to return before she causes a scandal!!

-“It would have been easy enough for her to attend lectures—or, indeed, not to attend them, whenever her physical condition made attendance difficult.” OH MY FUCKING GOD what do you think college students with periods do now??????

-I officially diagnose the writers of this book with period envy/fetish

-“Moreover, she was too fastidious to wish to spend her evenings in a public house, among drunks and in an atmosphere thick with tobacco smoke.” -I’m not…I can’t even, honestly

-“While they were waiting in the darkness of Milverton's study, she was even to seek the physical reassurance of Watson's touch—for that was what happened, even if Watson reported it otherwise.” So now we’ve just resorted to blatantly making things up, this is great

-“we felt that the unproven nature of the evidence for biorhythms might jeopardize the credibility of an otherwise serious work of scholarship” -Oh did you now

In conclusion: If anyone ever tries to tell you that men are inherently smarter than women, just make them read this book

#actually don't they'll probably love it #personal

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soniabigcheese · 8 years ago

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Of Birds and Rescues (mythical/supernatural AU)

A continuation from this chapter

https://soniabigcheese.tumblr.com/post/156624452899/of-birds-and-rescues-mythicalsupernatural-au

CHAPTER TWO

At the remote complex that was affectionately nicknamed ‘Tracy Island’, tensions were running high.

“WHERE IS HE???”

Scott had grabbed hold of John and was physically shaking him, his blood pressure rising above normal and his stress levels going through the roof. If he kept going, there was no knowing what would happen.

“I ... I ...”

“FOR GOD’S SAKE JOHN ... TELL ME!!!”

John could feel the energy surging and pulsing. If they’d been younger, then this would just be a simple shock. But since Scott has learned to develop and harness this electrokinesis, things could turn really nasty. Scott could easily blow out all the circuits, and it was unfair on everyone, especially a rather helpful and overeager Brains. Yes the poor thing was only too happy to replace everything. But he had his own problems too.

Virgil stepped in, peeling their elder brother from a paler than normal John, throwing him down onto the ground and sitting on him. It had been a tactic he’d used when they were kids. It was effective then, and it would be effective right now. The only difference was that absorbing Scott’s powers was going to be rough .... really rough. It wouldn’t be a little sting. No sirree, if anything, this was going to REALLY hurt.

“Easy now brother,” he spoke softly, “stop being so ridiculous here. You know John’s limitations. There’s no need to push him like like this.”

Scott tried to push himself upwards, but the sheer weight of his younger brother was keeping him pinned down.

“Get off me,” he panted, making one final fruitless attempt. But Virgil wasn’t shifting. This gentle giant was having none of it.

“Not until you calm down brother.” “Fine, I’m calm.” “No you’re not. Now all the way down. Right?”

Groaning, Scott loosened his limbs and flopped spread-eagled in the floor. The tension eased in his shoulders, but he was still breathing hard and shaking. Thank goodness for Virgil, the peacekeeper, the one that was rather adept at diffusing any situation. Otherwise this might have turned ugly.

It hadn’t been the first time, and it probably wouldn’t be the last.

Virgil slowly stood up, not convinced that Scott had kept his word. Sure enough, Scott pulled himself upright and stormed off, muttering. Virgil turned to John, whose knees were starting to buckle and he was leaning against the counter. Thankfully, Alan, the youngest, was nearby, his reactions were fast as he reached John and wrapped his arms protectively around his older brother.

“You okay there?”

John nodded weakly. Between Alan and Virgil, they managed to get John to sit down before he fell down.

“He shouldn’t have done that,” Alan said quietly, “that wasn’t called for.” “He couldn’t help it Alan,” came the reply, “it’s in his nature. Dad knew how to keep him in check ... all of us in check actually.” “DAD’S NOT HERE!” Scott retorted, turning to face them, “and now Gordon’s gone missing.”

He marched forward, wagging his finger. The electricity around him starting to charge up again.

Virgil stepped between them, shaking his head.

“I know bro ...” “First dad, and now Gordon ... what’s happening?” “Gordon was a show off,” a female voice interrupted, “we all know that. He only has himself to blame, if he is caught. Now we all need to calm down and think things through. Getting up in each other’s faces isn’t going to solve anything.”

Grandma Tracy patted the seat next to her.

“We need to talk,” she said kindly, “REALLY talk.”

#sorry it's taken this long to write this chapter #2nd chapters are always the hardest to write #so many different scenarios to choose from #thunderbirds AU

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thunderbirds-are-fab · 8 years ago

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A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to @littleyellowpaintedpony!

Your Secret Santa gift from me is a Christmas tale of Gordon and Lady Penelope! Thank you for challenging me to write my fist fic of this kind using these characters. I hope that you enjoy it! :)

"Happy Birthday!" a familiar hologram cheerfully congratulated Penelope on Christmas Eve.

"Thank you, Gordon." At that time she was sitting at her dressing table in her bedroom, delicately picking her way through a large jewelry box, trying to find just the right accessories to go with the clothes she had set out behind her. Penelope took coordinating her outfits very seriously.

"Whatcha doing? Getting ready for a birthday party?" he asked in his ever enthusiastic, yet casual manner.

"Oh no. I've no time for a party for myself this year. I’m far too busy preparing for tomorrow."

"Aw, that's a shame."

"Yes, well that's the trouble with having one's birthday so close to Christmas. Some years there's just too much going on for the two events to be distinguished, and this year it just so happens that Christmas has taken the spotlight. There’s so much going on” she sighs, already feeling exhausted just from thinking about it. “Especially this big Christmas charity gala... As a main benefactor, I’m really expected to make an appearance.”

“Wow, that does sound like a lot. Will you still have time to come to Tracy Island with all that going on? It would be great if you could still visit."

"What?! You're inviting me over now? On Christmas Eve? You do realise that these other engagements have been planned for months in advance?"

"Hey, I did ask if you'd like to come over for Christmas this year several months ago, remember? When we were talking after that rescue mission on Christmas Island? You said-"

“Oh Gordon, I'm so sorry. I must have forgotten. All of these other events have been so demanding of my attention recently. Besides, I didn't think you were so serious about it, and I hadn't heard from anyone else in your family that I would be expected, so-"

"They'd all love for you to come!" he suddenly blurted out.

"Really?" Penny asked, disbelievingly. "Only, none of your brothers have said anythi-"

"It's really Grandma who's dying to have you over" he interrupted again, thinking on his feet. "She's desperate to have some female company in the house. It can get a bit much for her with all of us guys all the time."

"What is Kayo then?" Penny tactfully parried.

"Kayo is... Kayo" he mumbled lamely, "But you're a lady. That's different."

"I'll tell her you said that" she teased.

"You wouldn't dare. Well if you do, I dare you to come over here and tell her face to face."

"Gordon" she sighed, "As much as I'd love to, I've already explained that I can't. I have far too many other engagements. A lot of very important people are expecting me to attend their events.”

"You don't even have time just to drop by? I mean, you don't have to stay for the whole day..."

"No Gordon, I can't simply pop around to the other side of the world for a quick mince pie and a chat."

"I know, I know. It's just that it would be really great to have a guest over this year. I mean, just spending the holiday with family is ok and all, but..."

"Gordon" she said in a warning voice. Her patience was wearing thin now.

"...but it's just not felt the same, since-"

"Gordon." Penelope could see where this was going, and she didn't like it.

"-since dad-"

"GORDON."

Stunned silence, on both sides. Penelope shocked even herself with the volume of her outburst. They had been known to argue on occasion, but she'd never snapped at him quite so harshly before.

"Gordon, I-" she began to apologise, but Gordon took the lead by suddenly relaxing, leaning back and raising his hands in surrender. "No, no, I understand. Her Ladyship has spoken, and I have to respect that. I've pushed the envelope too far already. I apologise."

"Gordon, please, it's not that I don't-"

"Hey, I get it, ok?" he interrupted again. "You've got "duties". You don't want to let all those important people down. I understand what that means to you, so don't worry about it." He's all smiles and reassurance now. Lighthearted, soothing, cheerful... it's only his eyes that can't hide the sadness.

"Have a good Christmas, Penny" he waves.

And then he was gone.

The absence of his hologram's glow made her vast room suddenly seem significantly darker, emptier, lonelier...

Until a sudden series of polite, short knocks on her bedroom door jolts her back into the present.

"Yes? Do come in" she calls, checking her reflection to make sure that her hair wasn’t out of place.

“Tea, m'lady?"

Penelope had not asked him to bring tea. Tea at this hour was not part of their usual routine. They both knew this. However, in British custom, tea was the emotional equivalent of a band aid. Tea came when tea was needed, just as Parker was always there when Penelope needed him.

"Thank you, Parker."

A little gingerbread man perched on the saucer stares up at her with a sugary icing smile. She would have thought it was sweet, but right now it made her feel guilty. She didn't know why she'd lost her temper, really. Perhaps all of Gordon's pleading had just finally amounted to too much. It hadn't felt fair, that he should keep asking her when he knew that she had so many commitments...

But that wasn't reason enough to make her feel any better about disappointing him.

Parker decided to break the silence in the room.

"Still organising your h'outfits for tomorrow's engagements, m'lady?" he asks with tactful nonchalance, indicating the selection of clothes that looked as if they had been projectile vomited over her bed from her walk-in wardrobe.

"Yes. I still can't quite decide on what to wear for the morning service. The black pea coat would be formal enough, but perhaps too bleak for Christmas?"

Parker simply stands there, smiling and listening attentively, but of course saying nothing. When you've worn the same selection of worn out jerseys for the past few decades, you're hardly in the position to be able to offer reputable fashion advice.

"Ah well, I don't suppose it matters all that much anyway. It's only church, not Paris Fashion Week... Still, got to keep up appearances, haven't we Parker?"

The anticipated response of 'Yes m'lady' did not arrive.

She turns to find him staring at her with a faraway, watery-eyed sort of look.

"Parker?"

"You always get like this h'round this time o'year now" he shakes his head sadly.

"What do you mean?"

"Please pardon my h'asking, m'lady, but when was the last time you looked forward to your birthday? Or Christmas h'altogether? It's just that it seems like the holidays haven't been holidays for you for many years now, and it pains me to think h'of the little girl who h'used to practically fly down the stairs at the crack h'of dawn on Christmas morning to see what was under the tree. You don't get excited h'any more, it's all just work..."

"So what are you trying to say? That I should cancel everything last minute and devote myself to cheerily making paper decorations as I did when I was a child?"

"I'm not saying that it all has to go back to how it was before. Of course it can't. I h'only meant to say that I wish you could enjoy yourself at Christmas again."

"I know, Parker" she sighed, "But so many people have expectations of me now. I have... duties."

"Yes. And as h'always, I shall be carrying h'out my duties: making sure that you're safe and happy, as your father h'asked me to. But I can only do that as you want me to. H'after all, I'm only a chauffeur, really. I don't decide we're driving to, but I h'always do my best to get you to where you want to be."

Well, now Penelope was really confused. Was Parker really trying to tell her that she had a choice here? Did he expect her to change something? Was that the right thing to do?

"Parker" she suddenly calls back, just as he was about to close the door behind him.

"Yes m'lady?"

For a moment, they simply looked at each other.

When they had known each other so long, it only took a look to say some things; to communicate their insecurities and doubts, and then affirm their unspoken understanding of one another.

Penelope made up her mind.

"Make sure that the car is well prepared. We have a long journey ahead of us tomorrow."

"Yes m'lady."

Just before he closed the door behind him, Parker looked back and winked.

Then she was certain that he had understood.

Evening sunlight cast a beautiful glow over Tracy Island. Just visible through the windows of the villa, strings of fairy lights twinkled brightly on a suitably grand Christmas tree, every branch drooping under the weight of decorations.

A small shadow inbetween the two great lights, Gordon Tracy sits in solitary contemplation by the poolside. Usually, Gordon was the life, soul, and winner of the ugly sweater contest at any Christmas party.

His ears prick up to a new sound behind him, subtler than the family bustle from inside, and he quickly pocketed the small object he had just been turning over in his hands.

The sound of heavy footsteps grew nearer, and then a familiar weighty hand came to rest on his shoulder.

"Hey bro, you ok?" the owner of the hand asked.

"Yeah, just... taking a breather."

"Tell me about it" Virgil groaned as he sat down next to him. "Scott's already disappeared off someplace quiet with a bottle of scotch. Said he had a headache. Left me to deal with the monopoly fallout."

"That bad, eh?"

"No kidding. Kayo ended up flipping the monopoly board across the room after picking up one too many unlucky chance cards. She really doesn't have the patience for that game. I told Alan we should've just gone easy and let her win" he sighed.

"Wow. Sorry I missed it."

"Yeah, right. I just hope that everyone will have calmed down by the time dinner is ready."

"And dinner is...?" Gordon began to warily enquire.

"All going according to plan since John came down" Virgil reassured. "He's keeping Grandma busy by tasking her with making the stuffing."

"Right, so no stuffing this year" came the grim conclusion.

"It's a small sacrifice to make for the sake of keeping the rest of dinner edible."

"Hm" Gordon conceded.

Conversation having run dry, silence settled between them. Gordon stared moodily into the water, until finally Virgil could take no more. He sighed and gave his brother a rousing slap on the back. "Come on Gordon, I can't bear to see you looking so hangdog. Focus on the positives! Surely Penny coming to visit wasn't all you wanted for Christmas?"

The problem was that the more Gordon thought about, the more it seemed like that was exactly the case.

"Look, I'd better get back in there and see what's going on" Virgil said, looking distractedly over his shoulder with concern at the villa, where inside it sounded like something had started a lot of noisy excitement. "Hopefully MAX isn't trying to start another game of charades. He really wasn't built for mime. Come inside when you're ready."

Alone again, Gordon returned his attention to the pool water. The throng of voices buzzing excitedly indoors certainly made it sound like the party had restarted, but Gordon just couldn't seem to get into the party mood anymore.

She'd said no, and that was final. So why did it feel so hard for him to accept? He'd known that the chances of Penelope ever coming were slim, but he'd still dared to hope that maybe... that she...

"Ah, there you are" a prim voice suddenly cut through his inner monologue, startling him. "I thought you would have been inside with everyone else. You've got quite the party going on in there."

"Penelope?!" Gordon could hardly believe his eyes. "I... I thought you said you weren't coming...?"

"Well, I thought so too, to be honest" she admitted, sitting down next to him. "It was a rather last minute decision on my part."

"But what about the charity event? And all those important people expecting you? All that stuff?" he babbled.

"Oh, I've paid for my ticket well in advance, so the charity gets their money whether I'm there or not. And I'm sure that everyone else's parties will run just as smoothly without me. They sounded very understanding when they heard I had developed a sudden illness and simply couldn't make it. These things just can't be helped."

"You called in sick? For me?"

“Quite. I haven't "pulled a sickie", as they say, for some time now. Reminds me of my school days, when-"

"But why did you suddenly decide to drop out of all that, when you've been saying for so long that you couldn't?" Gordon cut in, exasperated in the suspense of wanting to know the reason why.

"Well, it was actually something that Parker said that shook me back into reality. You see, I'd become far too absorbed in the socialite Christmas calendar as of late, thinking that it was my solemn duty to play a part in all those high society events every year... I ended up feeling trapped by other people's expectations of me, but then I remembered that I'm not a child; I can choose for myself what my "duties" are! And the choice was to choose between letting down important people, or letting down the people who were important to me. Thinking about what Christmas really should be like, it was easy to see which one would make me happy."

Gordon was lost for words. He really should thank her for coming all this way, or tell her that she was important to him too... but what really came out of his mouth was:

"I have to thank Parker for this?!"

Penelope almost let herself giggle. "Oh dear. There's no need to look like that. I'm sure that my happiness the generous hospitality of your family will be thanks enough for him getting me here. I do hope he doesn't drink too much though. His usual Christmas present to himself tends to be a generous helping of whatever is left over from setting the pudding alight...”

"Present... Oh, that reminds me. I... uh... I've got you a present" he mumbled sheepishly, hoping that his cheeks weren't burning quite as obviously as it felt like they were.

"Close your eyes."

Penelope obliged, and felt something very light, almost feathery, be pressed into the palm of her hand.

“You can look now.”

It was a small sprig of mistletoe, slightly crumpled from being over-handled and stuffed in his pocket, but still in one piece.

"Do you like it?" he asked, nervously waiting for her reaction.

Gordon Tracy, who would have thought there was such a classic romantic in you?

"Well, I don't know” she teases, pretending to study the sprig intently. “I haven't tried it out to see if it works yet. Would you care to test it with me?"

Gordon couldn’t help but laugh in relief.

“In all honesty, Penny, it’s all I want for Christmas...”

#SS 16 #Pen and Ink #Lady Penelope #Gordon Tracy #Christmas fic #sorry this took me a long while #but it was quite a challenge #i hope that you enjoy what i've managed to come up with ^^

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recentnews18-blog · 7 years ago

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New Post has been published on https://shovelnews.com/alan-yang-is-keeping-it-weird-with-his-new-amazon-series-forever/

Alan Yang Is Keeping It Weird with His New Amazon Series Forever

Alan Yang on the set of Forever with Maya Rudolph and Fred Armisen.

By Colleen Hayes, courtesy Amazon Prime Video

If you were to picture a successful screenwriter and director’s house in the Hollywood Hills, you’d probably imagine something like Alan Yang’s place. Perched in a cul-de-sac at the top of a steep winding street, the mid-century modern home hovers above the city, a wall of windows framing a glimmering view. When I arrive to meet the co-creator of Master of None and the forthcoming Amazon series Forever on a warm July evening, a cluster of people dressed like gaudy refugees from a 1980s Sunset Strip hair-metal band stand outside a house a few doors down from his place, planning their party route for the night and living out their L.A. dream.

Yang’s own Hollywood fantasy seems to involve hard work, high-powered meetings, and flights between New York, Taiwan, and Los Angeles as he plots ever more ambitious idiosyncratic projects. Earlier that day, he’d met with executives to discuss Tigertail, the multi-generational Asian-American feature film starring John Cho, inspired by his own family saga, which he is writing and directing for Netflix. He is also in the early stages of producing Little America, an anthology series about immigrants for Apple, which will be written by Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon.

Right now, though, there’s Forever, the uncanny dramedy Yang co-created with Matt Hubbard that drops on Amazon Prime on September 14. Starring Maya Rudolph and Fred Armisen, Forever takes the idea of marital commitment to wild, existential extremes.

Yang got his big TV break when Michael Schur and Greg Daniels hired him for the writing staff of Parks and Recreation. He had met Schur—virtually—through a baseball blog called Fire Joe Morgan that both men obsessively contributed to. (“It was legitimately crazy,” Yang said. “We would write 15,000-word screeds for no money!”)

After absorbing the show’s sweet vibe and character-based humor for six seasons, Yang and Parks and Rec pal Aziz Ansari decided to create their own series, Master of None, based on their friendship and “the fact that we like to eat food together”—which is, Yang hastens to add, “not the worst way to start a working relationship.” They wrote a pilot and sold it to Netflix, whose scripted slate was still in its infancy. But when Parks and Rec got picked up for a final season, they put their own project on hold, giving them time to think about creating something more original with Master of None.

At one point, Yang said he and Ansari were holed up in New York, trying to write, and feeling increasingly frustrated. “I told him, ‘My dad grew up basically in a tiny village in Taiwan. He had a pet chicken and he had to kill it because he didn’t have enough food to eat. So whatever happens, it’s all gravy because here we are in a hotel room talking about that television show we get to make.’” Ansari exclaimed, “That is way more interesting than any of the stuff that happens to us!” The duo decided to “make episodes about other people’s points of views,” including one threaded with flashbacks to the immigrant experiences of Ramesh and Peter, the dads of Ansari and Yang’s fictional alter-egos, who share some of their stories over dinner at a restaurant.

Yang is telling me this over dinner at Majordomo, David Chang’s buzzy, senses-overloading Korean fusion palace on the outskirts of downtown L.A. The chef (who has his own TV show, Ugly Delicious) is a friend of Yang’s, something immediately clear from the way they enthusiastically bro-hug, and accentuated throughout the night, as a string of amazing but unordered dishes arrives at our table—special treatment that starts to feel like a delicious stamina test.“You’re ready, you’re ready!” Yang coaxes me encouragingly at one point, as the waiter whisks away several half-eaten plates, filling the cleared space with a glistening serving of pork belly.

Food played a huge part in Master of None, as did the hyphenated-consciousness of Asian-Americans. At the 2016 Emmys, accepting the prize for outstanding-series comedy writing along with Ansari, Yang noted, “There are 17 million Asian-Americans in this country, and there are 17 million Italian-Americans. They have The Godfather, Goodfellas, The Sopranos . . . we got [Sixteen Candles character] Long Duk Dong. We’ve got a long way to go.”

Yang seems to be doing his part to fill that chasm. He describes Little America as, “like Black Mirror, but instead of being super-dark sci-fi stories, it is immigrant stories,” while his family saga, Tigertail, jumps between current day New York and Taiwan in the 1950s, 60s, and 70s. “Even three years ago, I wouldn’t have thought it was possible,” he said of writing and directing the latter. “But now, I think, generally, things are changing—not only for me, but for everybody.” It doesn’t hurt that the movie now follows in the wake of Crazy Rich Asians, which domestically grossed $34 million in the first five days of its release.

“I’m excited to try to make a movie where there are three-dimensional, smart, funny, interesting, hopefully compelling characters, who happen to be Asian,” Yang continued. “My favorite stuff, no matter what the genre, is character-driven stories [and] specific details that animate that character’s point of view. So their background matters sometimes, and what they look like matters, and where they came from matters.”

Yang came from Riverside, California, the child of immigrant parents. A self-described “tiny Asian kid in big glasses,” he said he avoided getting bullied by being one of the fastest runners on the playground. He showed me an Instagram post from Bobby Hundreds, a streetwear designer and former schoolmate, who wrote that Yang “was the kid my parents were constantly comparing me to. ‘Why can’t you be more like Alan?!’ He was the smartest kid by a mile, never got into trouble, and got accepted to Harvard. But the annoying part was that he was actually really COOL. Like, he played in a band and stuff. So, I couldn’t even hate on stupid Alan Yang.”

At Harvard, Yang studied biology because his parents had instilled in him the idea that science and math were a safe zone for people of color. “When things are subjective, that’s when things get taken away from you,” he said. “If you are an immigrant and you write an essay, a teacher who may not have the same perspective as you might dock your grade,” whereas, “if you get all the answers right on the math test, you got them right, they can’t take that away from you.” Yet Yang gravitated toward the arts—playing around Boston in a group called Model Kit, dating a girl in a band, and writing for the Harvard Lampoon. He says with a grin, “I wanted to hang out with smart people and creative people.”

Pursuing that path led ultimately to his current life, where he gets to collaborate on projects with people like Nanjiani and Gordon, and invent a black version of Friends for Jay-Z’s “Moonlight” video. The experience surrounding the making of the extended video—which stars Issa Rae, Lakeith Stanfield, Tiffany Haddish, Jerrod Carmichael, and Tessa Thompson—felt like “a dream,” said Yang. “Like I was sleepwalking.”

Fred Armisen and Maya Rudolph in a scene from Forever.

Colleen Hayes

And then there’s Forever, his new Amazon show starring Armisen and Rudolph, a dramedy so unusual in tone and structure that it presents considerable problems for a journalist faced with trying to describe it without spoilers. It is a story about a suburban neighborhood, an ordinary couple, marital malaise, and also . . . it’s not.

“Alan was talking about a lot of the creative freedoms he had enjoyed making Master of None,” Rudolph recalled by phone of their first meeting to discuss a possible collaboration.

“I was most interested in having them play more grounded characters, and play more naturalistic scenes,” Yang said. “That’s my taste generally. I know that they’re such skilled sketch performers but I just felt like they could do sort of gentler, quieter stuff.” He tapped his friend and former Parks and Rec cohort Hubbard to partner with him. The duo, said Rudolph, “had such a great take on the life of a relationship,” and developed roles that would allow her and Armisen to stretch beyond the kind of broad characters they inhabited on S.N.L.

In Forever, Armisen and Rudolph play June and Oscar, a long-married couple in suburban Riverside, Yang’s hometown. They adore each other, but there is always the sneaking sensation, as Yang put it, of, “Is that all there is?” The answer in Forever is a surprising mix of yes and no, as the series repeatedly pulls the narrative rug out from under its characters and its viewers. Among the disruptive elements in the series is Catherine Keener as a rebellious, charismatic neighbor who inflames June’s sense of frustration and longing.

“There’s some crazy shit that happens,” Yang said, emitting a laugh that actually sounds like a distinct ha-ha-ha. He emphasized that he wanted to unravel the traditional half-hour comedy series structure and to keep “the isolation and the loneliness of domesticity . . . somewhat tethered to the reality that people go through, to still be relatable.” After apologizing for name-checking so many “pretentious-ass films that people will hate me for mentioning,” Yang cited David Lynch, Wim Wenders, Tim Burton, and Krzysztof Kieślowski as some of the directors that inspired elements of Forever.

“He definitely goes there with his references,” Rudolph said affectionately. “Sometimes I just say, ‘Yeah!’ because I don’t know what Eastern Bloc filmmaker he is talking about!”

As for the future, Yang said he doesn’t know if there will be a third season of Master of None, but it’s not impossible. (“Aziz and I are always talking,” he wrote via e-mail.) And Yang is leaving the door open for another season of Forever, if this series about married life and existential turmoil can find its audience. He knows that it is “a weird show”—and a slow-building one that goes against Amazon’s current mission of creating noisy, Game of Thrones-scale hits.

But then with so many networks and platforms competing for attention, it’s actually the perfect time “to make something that is interesting and bold and new and audacious,” Yang argued. “In this environment, why make a show that seems like every other show?”

Get Vanity Fair’s HWD Newsletter

Joy PressJoy Press is a T.V. Correspondent for Vanity Fair. Her book, Stealing the Show: How Women Are Revolutionizing Television, was released in February.

Source: https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2018/09/alan-yang-discusses-his-new-amazon-series-forever-and-possible-plans-for-master-of-none-season-three

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tube-thoughts-blog · 7 years ago

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tube thoughts vol. 5

zero stars - terrible, 1/2 a star- dull, 1 star - folly, 1 1/2 stars - lacking, 2 stars - fair, 2 1/2 stars - decent, 3 stars - terrific

Hanna-Barbera present Hillbilly Bears - "Woodpecked" *To stop Maw from nagging his lazy ass, Paw hatches a plan that involves hooking two woodpeckers up, only it backfires, when their screwing reproduces.* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: "The Robot versus The Aztec Mummy" *Bring me the head of Montezuma, and make it snappy. MOOVVIIEE SIGGGGNNNNN!* 2 1/2 stars with riffing 2 stars without

Scare Tactics: ---- *Gorilla with a Fist: A slacker goes apeshit during an animal rights activist holdup at a crazy testing lab.* 2 1/2 stars

Anger Mis-Management: Aggression therapy gone wrong.* 2 stars

Fear Antics - The Mandroid: An idiot is convinced to act like a robot and wishes he hadn't when a slow thinking human goes crazy with a crowbar.* 3 stars

World's Scariest Flowers/Smell of Fear: A stalker's special delivery.* 3 stars

----

I'm Alan Partridge: The Talented Mr. Alan *"I was repellant, to women, for two years."* 3 stars

The Prisoner -- 1967 - 1968 -- "Arrival" *A Brit spy awakens in a sickly serene and isolated village from which there is no escape or cerebral evasion.* 3 stars

Shock 'Em Dead (Traci Lords) *A pizza slicin', and always being picked on, poindexter succumbs to the temptation of glowing green goo voodoo in order to become a 'rock god' in a prissy 80's hair-band.* 2 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Judy Miller Come On Down *A bitchy yuppy's boulevard of boring dreams.* 1/2 a star *Gameshow good fortune forces a 'days of future past' visitation experience.* 2 1/2 stars

Rifftrax presents J.J. Ambrams "Lost" (pilot episode) *"When in danger, when in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout."* 3 plus stars with riffing 3 stars without, and zero stars for the vomit vision use of shaking camera

Hanna-Barbera present Jonny Quest: Arctic Splashdown *The team travel to the North Pole to play around with whales, seals, walruses, and the coca cola polar bears. They also try to stop a Ruskie submarine crew from tampering with a crashed, in the ice, rocket.* 3 stars

"Dawn of the Planet of the Apes" *I was a stubborn human, refusing to give "Rise" a fair chance. I wanted humans, in ape costumes, acting ape. "Dawn" is smarter, and more well made, than any modern "Apes" movie has any right to be. Also, the scene where the villain ape rides horseback, through flames, firing twin machine-guns, during an all out ape-assault, on the human stronghold fortress is the most fun, and satisfying, thing that I've seen, in one of these "Apes" movies, since I first witnessed apes, on horseback, net a fleeing savage-human in the Charlton Heston' "Apes" classic.* 3 stars

Stargate -- Atlantis: "Rising" *Cracking through the ice to find the ancient city of the 'Gate Builders.' Genetically dialing into the unknown. Angels with ugly appetites.* 3 stars

Z Nation: Die, Zombie, Die... Again *Zombie Groundhog Day* 1 star

The Mothman Prophecies *An "It's A Wonderful Life" George Bailey type sad-sack goes chasing a shadowy figure through his own personal Unsolved Mysteries story.* 3 stars

Rifftrax presents "Paranormal Activity" 2007 *Uninspired. for the immature,'shock' end similar to those trick internet videos where a Linda Blair face pops up and screeches when you're staring at something bland for a while.so uncreative that it's more of a threat to the art of filmmaking than digital piracy.* 1 1/2 stars with riffing 1/2 a star without

Swamp Thing: Spirit of the Swamp *Green thumb for a black rose.* 2 1/2 stars

Thundarr, the Barbarian: Challenge of the Wizards *A wacky race, on horseback and roadwarrior vehicles, through a destroyed sin city, for the prize of the ultimate wizard's helmet.* 2 1/2 stars

American Horror Story -- Freakshow: "Pink Cupcakes" *Small screen jealousy. Picnic poisoning attempt. Girl with a goober gynecological visit. Gay bar American Psycho. Strongman finger torture. Missing maid's daughter. Lobster Boy looking for true love. Morbidity fame dreams. More David Bowie.* 3 stars

Bob Clampett's "Beany and Cecil" 1962 *"Your obedient serpent" a cartoon dragon handpuppet searches for a treasure in goldfish, solves an illegal eagle's bald shame, and screws up looking after the taco bell dog. Complete with commercials for Chatty Cathy, Matty Mattel, and Casper dolls, along with a Beany toy helicopter hat, plus the kid from 'Lost in Space' gets his own Dick Tracy official snub-nose revolver and tommy-gun (so realistic, modern parents' groups would be up in arms, ha.)* 3 stars

Silent Hill: Revelation *Ned Stark, and his bastard, try to protect Alice from underland. Flawed, but a better frightmare than its cousin series, Resident Evil.* 2 stars

Dr. Caligari 1989 *New-Wave Psycho-Sexual DADA Expressionism* 3 stars

Max Headroom --pilot episode-- "Blipverts" *Network 23's hotshot reporter is serious about getting a story, even if the higher ups are willing to snuff him out to stop it. That story being that subliminal sales messages cause slovenly viewers to suddenly 'splode.* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: "Mad Monster" *Long in the tooth, and low on thrills, tale of a lobo named Petro.* 2 stars with riffing 1 1/2 without

Amityville 2: The Possession *Building on burial ground. Basement from hell. Blasphemy. Bad ideas coming from the voice in the headphones. Big, mean daddy. Bad parenting. Beating the kids. Blessing a bloody bed. Bellybutton penetration. Body horror. Bad touch with sister. Blue confession. Black mood birthday. Bullets for loved ones. Batshit defense in court. Bureaucracy of the church. Boy saved by sacrifice. Being forsaken.* 3 stars

Heart She Hollers: And So It Begends *The "Boss" of a grotesque backwoods town tries to continue to micro-manage from beyond via a surreal video-will and his idiot son that he kept secretly bricked up until now.* 2 1/2 stars

"Born Innocent" (Linda Blair) *Cold, mechanical 'justice' for juveniles. Few caring influences. Peers that are jealous hurtful monsters. Disinterested or damaging parental figures. Yearning and underdeveloped 'wards' of whoever is forced to deal with them, and it's unfortunately a system drained of any constructive compassion or intelligent humanity.* 3 stars

Town of the Living Dead: *Zombie Baby: The crew think they have a great idea, a zombie baby (rolls eyes). And they keep screwing up the gross birth scene and nervous kiss scene.* 1 star *Stunt-Double: The chubby mama's boy can't be thrown out of a window, so... a black guy has to take the plunge, instead.* 1 star

The Walking Dead: Self Help *Abraham scares people. He scares his family into fleeing from him, in a flashback, resulting in their deaths. He's about to commit suicide when he meets Eugene and finds his new purpose in life. Eugene needs to watch Abraham and Rosita have sex. He also needs people to believe he's smart. It's been tearing at him and he must confess his dark secret, but this might tear Abraham, and everyone else in the group, apart.* 3 stars

Hill Street Blues --pilot episode-- "Station" *Happy go lucky until it gets heavy and hits with a hard left hook.* 3 stars

Joe Bob's Drive-In: The New Kids *Two orphaned army brats go to live at their uncle's rundown carnival/petting zoo in backwoods Florida where a gang of good ole boys (lead by a creepy James Spader), who won't take no for an answer, decide to make their lives a living hell. Hicksploitation from the creator of the original Friday the 13th.*3stars

William Friedkin's "The Guardian" *A wood nymph (is that what she is?) who frolics & forest bathes nude. A killer tree, like from Evil Dead, that rips people apart. Fairytale like wolves devouring human flesh. Nice modern architectured home. Beautiful wind cinematography like an Andrei Tarkovsky film. Skinemax levels of eroticism. Hansel & Gretel. Hand That Rocked the Cradle. Jeep Wrangler to the rescue. A little ham-fisted. Fun gore fx.* 2 1/2 stars

Kolchak, the Night Stalker: Legacy of Terror *For a year, Erik Estrada's character, PEPE, gets to hangout in a high-end hotel, play a flute, and be pawed over by beautiful blondes. That is if he willingly sacrifices his heart to an Aztec mummy. The fifth sacrifice in an every fifty two year ritual where the heroic are skewered so the blood god will someday rise again.* 2 1/2 stars

Sam Raimi's "Darkman" *Liam Neeson channels Lon Chaney & Boris Karloff doing Tex Avery & Chuck Jones cartoon stunts meets a macabre moody Bruce Timm & Paul Dini cartoon story in one of the first truly good comic style movies.* 3 stars

The Outer Limits: Corner of the Eye *A dying priest, suffering from demonic visions, is all out of bubblegum, and patience, with his alien overlords, even though they've given him a seemingly miraculous gift.* 2 1/2 stars

Rifftrax presents: The Bermuda Triangle -1978- *"Annoying sounds and boring repeatitive visuals, Bermuda Triangle, you spoil me."* 3 stars with riffing 1 1/2 stars without

Adult Swim, Newsreaders: *Motorboating Dads: Bros give parental advice for sons.* 2 stars *The Negative $100,000 Question: Smug,unfunny Children's Hospital"celebrity."* zero stars

The Simpsons: Itchy & Scratchy *"So television is responsible!" For the problems with the youth, today, that is. Ahead of its time in pointing out how media protests groups are misguided, could be making better use of their time, and hypocritical. Though it doesn't go easy on the media, either, which is why shows like Simpsons & South Park can be such good satires.* 3 stars

"Wavelength" 1983 *Sublime, stranded and subdued Navi 'children' send out strong signals that they'd like to unobtain our stringent hospitality in this low fi sci fi forgotten classic.* 3 stars

Town of the Living Dead: Zombie Fun Run *The town asses (Thr33 Days Dead) organize a run-from-zombies-a-thon, and the town's assclown (Ben Farley) causes one of the town's jackass mascots (a mule statue) to get ran over, leading to the town's asshole authorities going out and catching Thr33 Days Dead with their pants down and their ass hanging out when they ask them to stop being a zombie pain in the ass all over town and ban them from filming in Jas(s)per.* 2 stars

Twin Peaks: The Path to the Black Lodge *"We are all God's fools, more or less, but you will learn, as I have, the value of hate."* 3 stars

Joseph Zito & Tom Savini present "The Prowler" 1981 --Veteran's Day Movie-- *I'll be seeing you in all the old, familiar places that this heart of mine embraces... I'll be looking at the moon, but I'll be slashing you... and pitchforking too...* 3 stars

Chuck Jones' "Yankee Doodle Cricket" *Call it macaroni* 2 1/2 stars

Sam Peckinpah's "The Osterman Weekend" *A cynical, Cold War, conniving version of 'The Big Chill.'* 3 stars

"Thr33 Days Dead" (Why not two e letters instead of two of the number 3? It doesn't look 'cool' and it becomes possible to mistake the title for a 'The 33 Days Dead,' at a glance.) *Plague of the 'People of Walmart'* 2 1/2 stars (It's more entertaining than Birdemic) or 1 1/2 stars (It's almost as poorly made as Birdemic) ---(((this movie is just asking to be riffed by rifftrax)))---

Scare Tactics------------ season 2 episode 6 *: A plumber's helper stumbles onto (Silence of the Lamb's) Buffalo Bill's messy bathroom secret.* 3 stars

*: "Are you kidding me, bro?... WTF, bro?..." Late night, middle of nowhere, construction site, strange cult terrorizing a bro scenario.* 2 1/2 stars

*: "You got me trippin'... I watch 'shit' on t.v." A goofy girl gets going- going- gone, when Mummyhotep begins to step.* 2 1/2 stars

*: A telekinetic tween's tantrum.* 2 stars

----------------------------------------------------

X Files ---pilot episode--- *A logical, lady FBI agent gets assigned to keep tabs on the guy, in the basement, lurking in the unexplained phenomena cases.* 3 stars

Bizarre Foods -- Ireland: Ancient Bog Butter *Waxing poetic over 3,000 year old marsh gunk.* 2 1/2 stars

A Return to Salem's Lot --1987-- *Diverges, almost entirely, from the mood and suspense of Tobe Hooper's Salem's Lot. I don't even see this as being the same Salem's Lot setting as that first tv movie. That one was quirky, to an extent, but this one is really quirky. It's a Larry Cohen style (It Lives & The Stuff) 'American Gothic' fatherhood/son struggle and a secret society / corrupt small town stake to the heart of a movie. Featuring a young Tara Reid as a Lucy Westerena type, an old bitter Jewish man as a nazi hunter turned Van Helsing, and a cultural anthropologist who ironically has to try to destroy one of the oldest fabled civilizations.* I give it between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Swamp Thing: Blood Wind *A mason jar filled with murderous moonshine mist that puts everyone in a killer rage. Mr.Butterfingers, Swamp Thing, accidentally lets the lid off of it to hilarious results. The craziest, best episode yet.* 3 stars

Farscape: DNA Mad Scientist *On a rock, covered with giant dinosaur bones, floating in a cold corner of space, a grotesque menagerie of lab workers now serve one of their experiments gone wrong. A stilt stepping, kinky outfit wearing, feline-esque Dr. Frankenstein seeks out all the best traits of every living creature, in the known universe, in order to further advance its own twisted evolution.* 3 stars

BBC All Watched Over By Machines of Loving Grace: Love and Power *The speculative power of computer systems versus the supreme success of global forces like the Chinese. The desires of self superior people like Ayn Rand versus the so called weak and in need. Also, for some reason, a lot of looking back at Monica Lewinsky on her knees.* 2 1/2 stars

American Horror Story -- Asylum -- "Welcome to Briarcliff" *There are none so blind as those who will not willingly receive electroshock treatment and give morning confessional.* 2 1/2 stars

Bob & Margaret: A Tale of Two Dentists *Neglecting needs of his customers and wife leads to Bob losing them both, and both being diddled by a bogus dentist & real looney known by the alias Harry Ramsbottom.* 3 stars

I'm Alan Partridge: "The Colour of Alan" *"I am happy. That may vwwewy wewwl be because I'm on morphine."* 3 stars

Paranormal State: Season 1 Episode 5 *A shaken teen girl, from Sin City, is seeing the scarred and strangled spirit, of a San Antonio teen girl, who died around the same age as she is during the paranormal state investigation of the situation.* 2 1/2 stars

Stephen King's 'Kingdom Hospital' season 1 episode 2 *"Inside the skull is another universe. The strangest, scariest haunted house of them all." Or in Lars Von Trier's and Stephen King's cases, a silly sausage factory featuring surgeons with unzipped flys, creepy ice cream man demons, aardvark assassins, and candle light dinners in the morgue.* 3 stars

--- Hanna-Barbera --- Hillbilly Bears: "Modern Inconvenience" *Paw gets mangled by Maw's flirtation with the new-fangled.* 3 stars

Thundarr, the Barbarian: Valley of the Man-Apes *To protect the village of the Lollipop Guild, a group of stinky simians must be stopped from reassembling an abandoned movie studio's animatronic King Kong.* 3 stars

Joe Bob's 'Drive-In Theater' presents "The First Power" *Another dime-a-dozen body hopping demonic serial killer thriller. Lou Diamond Phillips' idea of playing a hardboiled detective is to pass an unlit cigarette between his lips and his fingers, constantly, and to wear a heavy, black trenchcoat, during the heat of the day, in downtown Los Angeles. The Richard Ramirez type, "Pentagram Killer," has satanic powers of a super human variety. Also, a lot of side characters' stunt doubles doing unintentionally comedic acrobatics and kicks to the groin.* 2 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Women of the Prehistoric Planet *Time paradoxes. Stereotype sneaky "Japs." Toasted thunder-lizard. Rubber snake attack. Tropical set design studio setting. Rodney Dangerfield wannabe comic relief. Death by "plush toy" hopping spider on a wire. A boy, 'all alone,' named Tang. Blue Lagoon romance picnic. Red hiney monkey. Racist astronaut shoots the first minority he sees. Feel good ending where the two minority lovebirds are abandoned, by the spaceship, on a paradise planet, with an extremely active volcano and killer cavemen.* 2 1/2 stars with riffing 1 star w/out

Hanna-Barbera -- Jonny Quest: The Curse of Anubis *Hadji's Hindu whack a mole magic, flute serpent charming, and Jonny's motorscooter camel-jockey skills help stop a doomed thief from uniting the Arab world against the West via insinuation involving iconography and superstition.* 3 stars

Sam Raimi's "The Quick and the Dead" *Vengeance is mine, said the Lady to the Lord. A Sharon Stone western shouldn't work, but it does.* 3 stars

Space Rage: Breakout on Prison Planet --1985-- *There aren't any spaceships firing at each other in asteroid storms, though there is a arcade asteroids machine in a bar. This is a space frontier, corrupt penal/mining colony western. There are no laser blasters, only traditional western handguns, shotguns, and rifles. Replacing spaceships are dunebuggies. Replacing an otherworldly planet is the California desert. There's a great, constantly playing, punk-western soundtrack, and Richard Farnsworth, Michael Pare, and John Laughlin are badass as usual.* 2 1/2 stars

Cowboy Bebop: Sympathy for the Devil *Harmonica playing, mystical gem having, ageless child of evil -who needs to be and deep down wants to be put at rest.* 3 stars

Transformers: Fire in the Sky *Christmas/New-Ice-Age in July, when the Decepticon grinches try to turn the earth's core into a cold day in hell. Luckily for earth and the Autobots, an unfrozen, gigantic robot makes the right decision and sacrifices itself for its love of science and all creatures, including humanity.* 3 stars

South Park: The Magic Bush *"Jennifer Lawrence's butthole didn't take a picture of itself."* 2 1/2 stars

Comic Book Men: Brony Con *Grumpy forty-something comic nerds attempt a Vaudeville two-man horse act at a convention for twenty-something male hipster fans of a little girls' pony cartoon.* 2 stars

Adult Swim ==off-the-air== "Seramthgin" *Nightmarishly surreal art video garbage played, mostly, in reverse.* 2 1/2 stars

Z Nation: Going Nuclear *Citizen Z's paddle ball dexterity. Mt. Rushmore defaced. Glow in the dark zombies. Stealth until a zombie alert fart. Radiation sickness. Stopping a nuclear meltdown in the Black Hills. Twirling, Donatello-esque ninja staff that's actually a really long handled hoe. Hazmat suits & ammo. Radio controlled drone robot named Robbie who has a lazer cutter for mowing down zombies. Fueling up on vodka. Fleeing from fallout in a small aircraft and of course crashing. Citizen Z 'checks' zombiepedia (lame joke.) Zombie sign language? Murphy wearing a little girls' pink & cute spikes backpack. Zombie puppy love. What really is mercy?* 3 stars

--- Paul W.S. Anderson's "Soldier" starring Kurt Russell

*Thematically like Stallone's 'First Blood' mixed with Terminator 2 and other outerspace and post-apocalyptic genre movies.

Finger painted in the most broad, obvious, hack ways possible.

Supersoldier has never seen a pretty lady, so he daydreams about the one time he saw her nipples under her shirt.

Supersoldier is suffering ptsd, so he freaks out over Santa at Christmas party.

Supersoldier doesn't know how to deal with kids, so he tries to teach a kid to bash a poisonous snake's brains out.

Supersoldier is feeling sad for the very first time, so we zoom in close up on a tear streaming down his face.

Supersoldiers need to be tested, American Gladiator competition is orchestrated.

Married couple is getting romantic on a planet with limited supplies and garbage everywhere, hundreds of lit candles love scene.

Thin mustached military commander villain's gotcha moment is pissing down his pants leg in fear...*

1 1/2 stars

---------------------------------------------------

Monstervision with Joe Bob Briggs "The Stepfather" *There were no real Freddy Kruegers running around in suburbia, in the 80s, but there were actually psychos like this. A Fox News fan type dad is a little too into 50s era family "perfection," and when things don't go his way, he heads down to the basement to beat on his workbench with a hammer, and when he can't take it anymore, he heads upstairs and bangs on the family with the hammer. When he's done there, he catfishes the "perfect" next family.* 3 stars

Friday the 13th, the series: Cupid's Quiver *When you're skeezy, it's love made easy. The poor, wretched bastard, in this one, oozes, and then drips desperation from his every pore.* 3 stars

ABC's Selfie: A Little Yelp From My Friends *I expected this to be another obnoxious sitcom like Big Bang Theory or 2 Broke Girls, but it's more like Ally McBeal. A real bait and switch. The topic as it has been thrown out there in the media would make one think it would be about a total social media whore with constant references to current social pop culture, but it's really more of a show about a pathetic weirdo and her bizarre, unsocial behavior, and the one genuine person (Harold from Harold & Kumar) who actually cares about helping her cross that bridge back into the real world.* 2 1/2 stars

E! Total Divas: The Double Cross *One diva trades her vibrator for a date with an NFL hunk. Another diva gets jealous when her man's (pro wrestler John Cena) ass is going to be shown in a movie love scene. Also, at a movie premier for a comedy flick, starring the twin divas, the big muscled pro-wrestler puts on a blue monkey suit, and the butt and breast implant diva, along with her man, sit stoned-faced during a supposedly funny scene. Odd and insipid reality show trash.* zero stars

MTV's True Life: I Have A Strange Phobia *One Italian-American young man can't even pee in a public restroom. He has to get in his car, get on the freeway, and drive all the way home and scrub the toilet with cleaner and antibacterial products before the act. (Why not pee outside, in public, behind a dumpster or building or car? It's not really polite behavior, but it would save the trouble of going home and cleaning. And, why not just aim really well when you pee at home or not care if you pee on the seat?) The next, unfortunate, case is about a young woman who is deathly afraid of pigeons. I think there's some other attention issues there, or maybe a bit of deceit going on where the girl just wanted to get on MTV.* 2 stars

American Horror Story -- Murder House -- "Murder House" *As much a love letter to true crime history of Los Angeles as it is a ghost story. And the haunted people and haunts themselves have more personality and poignancy than most ghost stories.* 3 stars

The Outer Limits: Under the Bed *A child psychologist struggles with a cryptozoology related child abduction.* 2 1/2 stars

The Walking Dead: Consumed *Getting the drop on crash test dummies.* 3 stars

Adult Swim --fake infomercials-- "Smart Pipe" *Taking smartphone app use to its inevitable pinnacle by having the waste management of the world's pipes turned into an opportunity to scan shit and then use that information to in turn sale more shit to the masses.* 3 stars

Squidbillies: Sheriff-in-Law *Daddy don't come around here anymore, and we're all glad he doesn't.*3 stars

MTV's "Slednecks" episode b (b because the "writers" were lazy) *Bros go Go-Go dancing. 4 wheel drive pickup truck versus airboat in a tug o war match. Drunk skanks pissing in the snow. Feeding buttered toast to the wildlife. Tundra wookies at tha club. You know, typical Alaska stuff. Saddening that this kind of stupidity is going on in one of the last frontiers. I've never more wanted a moose to kill someone since back in the day when Fox would air those 'When Animals Attack' videos.* zero stars

American Horror Story: Freakshow -- "Bullseye" *Desert butterflies* 2 1/2 stars

Game of Thrones --Season 3-- Episode 2-- *Lions, piggies, crows, wolves, and a hound.* 3 stars

USA network's --Chrisley Knows Best-- "Jugs and Ammo" *Boob cake for 100 dollars. Boob job for your daughter 30,000 dollars. Protecting your sixteen year old beauty pageant girl's "vag of honor" untold dollars. Making your redneck son-in-law uncomfortable because he thinks that you're a closet homosexual is priceless.* either zero stars or 2 1/2 stars

Animal Planet's --Finding Bigfoot-- "Turtleman's Bigfoot" *for some unknown reason, MSNBC's Rachel Maddow and 30 Rock's "Bobo" travel to Kentucky to holler hunt a primate with Jim Varney's nephew Ernie the "Turtle Man."* 2 stars

rifftrax presents The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers *Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.* 3 plus stars with riffing 3 stars without

Adult Swim -- "Too Many Cooks" *Never ending 80s tv theme song intro video parody turned massacre.* 3 stars

Kolchak, the Night Stalker: The Knightly Murders *Balefully back, from the Black Ages, with a big axe to grind.* 2 1/2 stars

Gargoyles: Temptation *Goliath's former piece-of-tail tries to put him back under her spell.* 3 stars

Stargate --Atlantis-- "Hide and Seek" *You're not yourself when you're hungry, or an energy entity. Eat a Snickers, and be like Doug Flutie.* 2 1/2 stars

"The Babadook" *Illustrating one's insecurities into isolation, insomnia, and insanity.* 3 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Saturday Night Special *Yuppy dating schemes and dreams come apart at the seams.* 1 1/2 stars *Springwood beautification project leaves a plain jane feeling numb.* 2 stars

South Park: Freemium isn't Free *Temptation. Addiction. Boring Gaming. Gambling. Micro-Transactions. Trendy drinking. Denial drinking. Pussy advertising. The Prince of Canada. The Canadian Devil.* 2 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Loved to Death *More than a minute of seeing man-sized-shaped Mariel Hemingway in lingerie is like an eternity in hell.* 3 stars

Joe Bob's Drive-In presents "Night Angel" *So bad it's good, succubus-slasher softcore-skinemax-style flick.* 1 1/2 stars

Hillbilly Bears: Courtin' Disaster *Haltin' hatin' the Hoppers, like they's was Hatfields, in hopes of havin' Hottiebear hitched.* 3 stars

Scare Tactics --Season 2-- episode 7 *Meat locker scab wishes he hadn't swept the salt off the floor after he meets the one armed mangler who had the job before.* 2 stars *"Pretty big, probably around 5 foot 9 or 6 foot 2" webcam show babehouse psycho slasher that ruins a horny, dumb guy's first night on the peep job.* 3-stars *Digging a hole, in the desert, for a lazy mobster.* 2 stars *Poltergeist -heather o'rourke- style closet scare* 2 1/2 stars

Paranormal State season 1 episode 6 *This haunted place is for the dogs...* 3 stars

"Intruders" CBS 1992 *Abductee: I was taken aboard a spaceship, by little grey men, and experimented on. / Psychologist: No, you were molested, in a barn, by your cousin.* 3 stars

American Horror Story -- Freakshow -- "Test of Strength" *"Come as you are" as ruined by the folks from GLEE. Strong Man vs. Amazon Lady. You're my dad, dad. Earl (Dell) had to die - Carnival Dixie Chix. Two-Headed blackmail. Dreadful Penny. Penny's dreadful dad. Tattoo nightmare. Dandy not feeling dandy. Surgeon suicide. Blonde ambition makeover.* 2 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Crawling Hand *"Eat, drink, and be merry. Tomorrow, you die." Then, it's all fingerwalking on the darkside, you dig?* 3 stars with riffing 2 1/2 stars without

Jonny Quest: Pursuit of the Po-Ho *Lost tribe lunar sacrifice lunacy.* 3 stars

Swamp Thing: Grotesquery *A case of toxic swamp ass lands ST in a two-bit big top, where it's all soggy tater chips and being caged while being poked with a stick with the rest of the misbegotten misfits.* 2 stars

"The Shuttered Room" 1967 *Hostile Arkham homecoming. Where the isolated islanders hold strong to ignorant superstition, when they're not trying to tear someone to shreds.* 3 stars

Z Nation: Sisters of Mercy *Survivors of a Utah Mormon "sisters wives" style society form a militant lesbian ladies only cult. No "Ah, not the bees!" moment or bearsuit disguise, but similar to Nic Cage's predicament. Story focuses on the two least interesting characters, the crazy redhead chick and her wannabe boyfriend, and not enough Murphy moments, though his getting "pie" scene is hilarious. False advertisement with the unfortunately underused zombie bear. I was hoping that it would maul the Sisters of Mercy.* 2 stars

Phantasm 3: Lord of the Dead *A Home Alone orphan vigilante brat and a Grace Jones / Pam Grier -esque kung fu sista join Reggie to fight Return of the Living Dead style zombies with attitude. The actors playing Mike & Jody almost seem out of place in their own series, but Reggie excels in a more Sam Raimi plus Bruce Campbell horror-comedy environment. I think I figured out who the Tall Man is supposed to represent, Sam Walton, the founder of WalMart.* 2 1/2 stars

Thundarr, the Barbarian: Stalker from the Stars *It twas a simple sinus sniffle twitch kill't the strigoli at that snowy eskimo carnival.* 3 stars

Cowboy Bebop: Heavy Metal Queen *ride the lightning and chase the thunder with a prairie oyster.* 3 stars

The Prisoner: The Chimes of Big Ben *There's not enough hours in the day to sail away. So, pick up a required hobby.* 3 stars

Max Headroom: Rakers *Taking a stand against mindless television violence with a sport of "refined aggression." Risking everything professionally for a personal bond of obligation with an estranged and wreckless loved one.* 2 1/2 stars

Larry Cohen's "The Ambulance" 1990 starring Eric Roberts *A sinister old school style ambulance stalks the streets of NYC picking up sick people and then not taking them to the hospital but instead to an insane doctor who experiments on them and sells them to shady medical labs. Spooky.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Adult Swim's "Sit Down and Shut Up" --pilot episode-- *animated with the whimsy of nickelodeon or cartoon network kids cartoons but with the right amount of offensive humor for the slacker 3am audience.* 2 stars

SyFy's "Ascension" --preview-- 'Building the World' *Nice to see SyFy actually spending some money on a show's elaborate production.* 3 stars

CMT's "Redneck Island" Dec 2014 -season preview-

with host "Stone Cold" Steve Austin *"I wouldn't even introduce you to my dawg! MY DAWG, YA HEAR!"* 1 star

Hill Street Blues: Presidential Fever *A matter of pride. Two partners struggle with the distance between each other after being shot on duty. An undercover gets 'ruff' with rape suspects. Lady attorney holds her own with police chief lover. Gangleaders precinct meeting to hold a truce during Presidential visit. NYPD Blue's David Caruso as a top-hat wearing Irish gangbanger. Hick cop hassles the wrong barrio & almost goes vigilante to heal a wounded ego.* 3 stars

"Open House" 1987 starring Adrienne Barbeau *John Tesh is trying to reason with a rabid dog when Charles Bronson walks up and shoots it between the ears. Los Angeles, the land of broken dreams. there's only so many options for the down on their luck to vent. one is to call in crazy to the talk radio stations. another is to act like an obnoxious slob. then, there's the nutbags who'd like to find absurdly creative ways to kill the chippy sales people of that broken dream.* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Crawling Eye *Slight fever in the Swiss Alps, with cyclops brainball tentacle aliens who like things frigid and hate telepaths.* 1 1/2 stars with riffing 1 star without

X Files: Deep Throat *Aim high, in the Air Force, and be an alien spacecraft test pilot. Side effects may not be worth it. It's 2 the xtreme, says 90s stoner, Seth Green.* 3 stars

The Outer Limits: Dark Matters *Melodramatic ghost brother space catastrophe* 2 stars

Michael Crichton's "Runaway" 1984 starring Tom Selleck *Jargon, jargon, household robots gone haywire. Jargon, jargon, science dept. mustache cop. Jargon, jargon, spider assassin robots. Jargon, jargon, Gene Simmons techno-terrorist. Jargon, jargon, magic heat-seeking bullets. Jargon, jargon, vertigo-tinged thriller climax.* 2 1/2 stars

Joe Bob's Drive In Theater presents "Steel and Lace" *Willard's Bruce Davison creates a cyborg out of his sister, Shannon Tweed (Gene Simmons' long-time girlfriend), years after her suicide resulting from a non-conviction for a group of corporate buddies who raped her in an alley. The sexy cyborg seduces then performs gruesome fatalities on the slimeballs.* stars 2 1/2

Freddy's Nightmares: Sister's Keeper *Freddy turns the twin daughters, of the cop who was a thorn in his side in life, against each other.* 2 stars *Freddy is determined to make one of the twins an only child.* 2 1/2 stars

Hammer Films' "Vampire Circus" 1972 *A morose quarantine livened with a sanguinary shadow puppet sex show.* stars 3

American Horror Story -Asylum- "Tricks and Treats" *Sticky caramel on the mossy banks of a Stygian river.* 3 stars

I'm Alan Partridge: Brave Alan *"The worth of boast worlds."* 3 stars

Bob and Margaret: A Night In *Boring and barren, but better off than the dead.* 2 1/2 stars

All Watched Over By Machines of Loving Grace: The Use and Abuse of Vegetational Concepts *make like a tree and be a leaf / a cog in the machine or don't because it's a false belief.* 3 stars

"Dreamscape" 1984 *David Patrick Kelly is a creepier dream demon than Robert Englund.* 3 stars

South Park: Grounded Vindaloop *The boys try to figure out which one of them is actually stuck in virtual reality limbo. Real world Butters is cutely portrayed.* 3 stars

Squidbillies: Hybrid to Hell *"Hawt Rawkin' Santy Claus in a bubble globe."* 2 1/2 stars

Swamp Thing: Natural Enemy *ST beats science to the punch, when he swats and splats Beelzebub.* 2 stars

--- Scare Tactics -season 2 -episode 9

*Party van fails to take police warning and runs into vampire bikers on a desert highway.* 3 stars

*Hysterical hissie over a hybrid dwarf-critter.* 3 stars

*"You ever step on a landmine, before?" nervous and shaken response "Nah, I'm from Cleveland." 2 1/2 stars

*The show's new host, a Baldwin brother, is traumatized when he's not recognized after shedding the disguise of a scary mob boss.*

1 1/2 stars

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Paranormal State -season 1 -episode 7 *A cemetery caretaker stews and his wife claims to suffer after sticking in a hole, and covering with cement, an urn of unclaimed cremated remains that had sat on their shelf for years.* 2 stars

Insidious: Chapter 2 *That's not my husband. That's the spirit of a crossdressing serial killer. Again with the Ed Gein/Norman Bates mommy issues killer and somehow crossed with the crazy killer dad -like the Shining. Also, I could do without the lame antics and shaking camera ghosthunting of the two paranormal hipster nerds. Still, I very much enjoy the eerie astral projection limbo world.* between 2 and 2 1/2 stars

Friday the 13th, the series: A Cup of Time *Old age is wasting the youth, when youth aren't wise enough not to drink from its cup.* 2 stars

The Walking Dead: Crossed *Rick Grimes used to be a cop. Emphasis on used to be. Now, he's cold blooded. Come to think of it, then again...* 2 1/2 stars

American Horror Story --Murder House-- "Halloween" *"find my nest of salt, everything is my fault... choking on the ashes of our enemies..."* close to 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Dead Right *It's a given that grotesque Jeffrey Tambor will gore gorgeous gold-digger Demi Moore.* 3 stars

Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Corpse Vanishes *"A cockeyed nightmare or a nighteyed cockmare?!"* 1 1/2 stars with riffing 1/2 a star without

Tex Avery's "Jerky Turkey" 1945 *"Don't eat at Joe's"* 2 1/2 stars

"Thankskilling" 2009 *"No more pumpkin pie, no more cranberry sauce, just turkey..."* 1 star

Twin Peaks: Miss Twin Peaks *Which way to the castle? Where there's a key, there's always a lock. Fear and love open the door.* 3 stars

"Dreamchild" 1985 (with Jim Henson creature shop puppetry) *Ian Holm makes a better Jack from the Titanic, for Alice in Wonderland's elderly Alice, than Leo DiCaprio ever could. Also, Peter Gallagher is certainly more charming than Billy Zane. He's more of a sly weasel too.* 3 stars

Game of Thrones -Season 3 -episode 3 *"In the grave, there are no masters."* 3 stars

Joe Bob's Drive In Theater presents "Posed for Murder"

with special guest host Elvira *A generic softcore thriller about an adult magazine centerfold being stalked by a psychotic motorcycle glove and every meathead who wants to screw her. It's one of those bad movies where the lyrics of the songs, playing throughout, sync up with the on screen stupidity.* 1 1/2 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Cutting Cards *Compulsive rivals go head to head til the last stump standing.* 2 1/2 stars

"Paradise" 1982 *A very Biblical man, Willie Aames, watches his parents get murdered by bandits, then flees and gets stranded with a beautiful maiden, Phoebe Cates, in a desert/tropical oasis where he sneaks peeks at her sinful nudity, tries to keep a chimpanzee from self pleasuring, destroys dirty medical texts, and tries to keep an Arab jackal from stealing his woman and deflowering her.* 2 stars

Farscape: They've Got A Secret *Space whale calf care is killing the crew, and crossbreeding with the empire's clone troopers is strictly forbidden and must remain emotionally hidden.* 2 1/2 stars

Cowboy Bebop: Waltz for Venus *Lacking one quality but heightening another's fluidity.* 3 stars

Hillbilly Bears: Stranger than Friction *monkeying around with hospitality can get ya head blown't off* 2 1/2 stars

Z Nation: Murphy's Law *Every ridiculous thing this show tries to do somehow works. Drug addicted zombies, check. Viagra sex zombies, check. Murphy having telepathic control over the infected, check. The most surprisingly effective show of the year. Each new episode is something new. Rarely boring or stagnant in an all too boring and stagnant apocalyptic / zombie / survival horror genre.* 2 1/2 stars

"Walking Tall" 1973 *Landmark hicksploitation with Buford on par with Leatherface in terms of legend. A yarn that satisfies in its visceral exaltation of justice, while still having enough subtext about the road of revenge being a ragged one.* 3 stars

Kolchak, the Night Stalker: The Youth Killer *sucking the life out of the singles scene* 3 stars

USA Up All Night with Rhonda Shear presents

"Fright Night" 1980s version -------------------------------

*Necking with your girl while watching late night vampire horror hosted by a faux vampire slayer from such movies.

USA network has the world's hottest show 'Baywatch' five nights a week.

For the girls of paradise call 431 Girl at 2.50$ a minute.

Psychic Talk USA... are you astounded?

La Femme Nikita, Sunday Nights on USA the cure for the common show and the common boner.

Has your neighbor committed homicide? this horror obsessed kid thinks so.

Having a horrific mental breakdown? don't turn to the town Beavis for understanding.

99cent psychic encounters. It sounds dangerous. But damn affordable. 800 Predict. I predict that if you call, you'll be out 99cents.

Rhonda is at her wedding reception, where she's trying out two potential hubbies. One is a morose long haired artsy guy and the other is a big, fat cowboy with his big, fat mama who thinks that Rhonda has child bearing hips enough to produce fifteen younguns

"Someone knows their secret." I Know What You Did Last Summer, now playing in theaters everywhere.

back to the ‘’up all nite’’ movie,

the fearless vampire slayer gets fired from his job and vents on his hatred for 80s slasher monsters like Jason.

Apparently vampires yawn in the evening and are groggy when they take phone calls.

Stephen King's "Thinner" available now at videostores everywhere.

You never thought it possible, the Motorola Wordline Pager with streaming text updates in the palm of your hand in black and grey text. It will never get more advanced than this, says the 90s business professional yuppy.

No rules, no ring, no exit, and not place to hide 'Fighting Force' for the playstation.

The legend is here, the time is now, Chuck Norris is Walker Texas Ranger, weeknights on USA.

I'm all alone pick up the phone, sluts are standing by on another phone sex commercial.

Macho Man says REST IN PEACE and SNAP INTO A Slim Jim, OH YEAH! Halloween Havoc, Dig it!

Peter Vincent is like the Alan Partridge of the occult.

What do you do when a David Bowie type douche wants to do your girlfriend?

Hollywood's hottest stuntmen use bodyheat activated degree deodorant.

USA's Sunday Night Heat with Pacific Blue, Silk Stalkings, and The Big Easy. Turn it on and turn it up.

I miss sleazy USA network programming.

Magic the Gathering, all you need is a brain, a deck, and a friend, and an intact virginity.

Rhonda is a runaway bride when she realizes she doesn't have to be married to shop.*

3 stars

-----------------------------------------

Gargoyles: Deadly Force *"Movies, television, videogames...(sigh) it's hard to tell what's real anymore." A lesson about how our culture ignores the real drama of the consequences of gunplay.* 3 stars

Stargate - Atlantis - "Thirty Eight Minutes" *The perils of dealing with stubborn parasites, wormhole constipations, lifeboat malfunctions, and bruised egos.* 3 stars

Stephen King's "Kingdom Hospital" -season 1 -episode 3 *Solid cold oldies* 3 stars

The Outer Limits: The Conversion *The future's not ours, you see...* 2 1/2 stars

Max Headroom: Body Banks *Eternal sunshine of the sober mind that refuses to sell out to corporate swine who think they can harvest the poor & healthy in order to buy more time.* 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: 'Til Death *Fated to the fetid* 2 stars

Swamp Thing: Treasure *Little Jim has a long lost relative dying on his bathroom floor, a Swamp Thing trapped in his attic unable to sneak away, and an evil blonde beauty who wants to shoot him, or his mom, with a small pistol -if he doesn't cough up the location of stolen money hidden in a junkpile out in the swamp.* 3 stars

Jonny Quest: Riddle of the Gold *The smite of the tiger.* 3 stars

Scare Tactics -season 2 -episode 10 -------------------

*Cleaning the ham bones out of a creep's croc pond.* 2 1/2 stars

*Maids stumble onto a bloody, and active, crime scene.* 2 stars

*A ladies man looks at the wrong farmer's naked daughter.* 3 stars

*Carny folk forget and leave a horned dwarf troll in the walls of a rental home.* 2 1/2 stars

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Roger Corman presents "Streets" 1990 *For skid row kids, like Christina Applegate's homeless teenage prostitute character, it's a symbiotic game of staying ahead, and also in reach, of their constant pursuers and abusers, but sometimes the bleak circumstances highlighting the literal dead ends make it even more painful if a glimmer of hope happens to also be there.* 3 stars

American Horror Story - Asylum - "Nor'Easter" *Pontius Pilate wept at the end of E.T.* 3 stars

Paranormal State -season 1 -episode 8 *Remodeling the home of a early 20th century sawbones stirs spirits.* 2 stars

Bob and Margaret: Blood, Sweat, and Tears *stretching thinly to feel the burn and avoid the fine line of permanent injury in the process of healthy activity and friendly civility* 3 stars

I'm Alan Partridge: Never Say Alan Again *pass the Sunny D and STOP TALKING ABOUT AMERICAN THINGS!* 3 stars

X Files: Squeeze *Spooky versus mutie (aka mutant).* 3 stars

The Walking Dead: The Coda *Rick Grimes drives a hard bargain, but compromises and evasively dangerous behavioral maneuvers, of others involved, put everyone back on the road of loss.* 3 stars

House 3: The Horror Show -1989- *"An electricity of evil." Lance Henriksen is a straight current running parallel to an unsteady moronic shocker.* between 1 1/2 and 2 stars

Freddy's Nightmares: Mother's Day *You gotta fight or flight for your right to party with Fredddy.* 2 1/2 stars *Weepy Wendy can't get any affectionate attention from her radio shrink mom, a seriously Selfish Sherry.* 2 1/2 stars

Ultimate Scooters: Featuring the Hot Wheels Shocker -2000- *Video time capsule documenting how turn of the 21st century bro-men took to the streets, with tots, riding toy scooters.* 1 star

Popeye the Sailor Man: ----------

*Me Musical Nephews: Runts rockabye a restless Popeye.* headache inducing zero stars

*Spooky Swabs: Ghostly mutiny.* 3 stars

*Patriotic Popeye: Safe n' sane U.S. n' A. holiday or party explosives?* 2 stars

*Ancient Fistory: Disney Princess Cinderfella Queer Eye for the Popeye.* 2 stars

*Taxi-Turvy: Scat cab skidoo.* 3 stars

----------------------------------------------------------

Fleischer Studios presents Betty Boop: -------------------------

*Betty Boop's Crazy Inventions: Spunky sales pitch for quirky products.* 3 stars

*and the Little King: Calamity Betty* 2 1/2 stars

*Pudgy in Ding Dong Doggie: Hot doggy, Betty spank.* 2 1/2 stars

*Grampy in the Candid Candidate: Mayoral mishap calls for thinking cap.* 2 1/2 stars

*Language All My Own: Betty is super kawaii in the land of the rising sun.* 2 stars

*Grampy's Indoor Outing: homemade carnival play on a rainy day.* 2 1/2 stars

*Little Nobody: Stuck up pup and a blue ribbon baywatch doggy strut.* 2 1/2 stars

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Adult Swim --off the air-- "Worship" *vacation bible surreal* 2 stars

Squidbillies 96: How did my worm get in your taco? *Early en Espanol, an all american buttthole.* 3 stars

Tim & Eric, Bedtime Stories: The Bathroom Boys *Dragging the viewer into the toilet with the non-humor painful shits & giggles of Tim, Eric, Zach Galifianakis and surprise guest, the beautiful, cleaned, and dolled up Maggie from the Walking Dead.* between zero and 1 star

Thundarr, the Barbarian: Portal into Time *Apple 2 defender of the Alamo. Beastmaster 2 culture shock. Thundarr, Ariel, Ookla are Earth's mightiest Avengers. Volkswagen Beetle dragon. Ookla, a cookie monster. An escalator can never be broken, it can only become stairs, so said Mitch Hedberg. Terminator 2 style skynet tech heist. Finally, a first ever victory at the Alamo.* 3 stars

Hill Street Blues: Politics as Usual *Bribery. blackmail. backstabbing. bargaining courts. boo-hooing. barking like a dog. busted. buttcheeks and butthole search. bathing lovemaking. break up.* 3 stars

Burn, Baby, Burn: Riots and Violence in the Modern World *unabashed ugliness* 1 star

Victor Salva's "The Nature of the Beast" 1995 starring Lance Henriksen & Eric Roberts-- *A serial killer plus a casino riches thief, both on the run, find homogeneity on a lost stretch of desert highway.* 3 stars

Paranormal State -season 1 -episode 9 *a spirit is shattering and nudging (the babypowder test, "thrilling") wine glasses in a, struggling to survive, sports bar.* 1/2 a star

The Outer Limits: Quality of Mercy *Hogan's Heroes meets Enemy Mine with an M. Night twist.* 2 1/2 stars

Cowboy Bebop: Jamming with Edward *A self activated spy sattelite is sad & lonely and so is a spunky hacker.* 3 stars

Swamp Thing: New Acquaintance *Jim brings home a misunderstood stray, and ST resurrects a rabbit.* 2 1/2 stars

Shaw Brothers: Iron Chain Fighter (aka Assassin) *There are no bonds that chop sockey can't break.* 3 stars

Game of Thrones: -season 3 -episode 4 *Climbing and falling. Losing a hand. Handing over a legacy. Protecting the virtue of an innocent. Hungering for insurrection. Dispensing the light of justice. Burning a path for freedom.* 3 stars

Friday the 13th, the series: HELLOWE'EEN *The awful uncle seeks offal flesh to slip into back to life.* between 2 1/2 and 3 stars

Tales from the Crypt: Three's A Crowd *cuckold anniversary surprise* 3 stars

American Horror Story --Murder House-- "Piggy Piggy" *Growing pains. Raw brains. Oinking angst.* 2 1/2 stars

BBC All Watched Over By Machines of Loving Grace: "The Monkey in the Machine and the Machine in the Monkey" *We humans are something like a phenomenon or perhaps maybe an automaton.* 3 stars

"Beyond the Black Rainbow" --2010-- *Timothy Leary has gone too far this time.* 3 stars

Scare Tactics: season 2 -episode 11 ---------------

*Family killer in a scarecrow disguise puts a young carpenter in concern.* 2 stars

*Gold chain necklace wearing "Dr. Jeff" doesn't want his "molecules heated up" in a mad scientist's The Fly -esque matter transport experiment.* 2 1/2 stars

*A greaseball is hired to clean up "red wine" stains for a Sopranos sausage and refuses to wear a wire for an undercover sting.* 2 1/2 stars

*Fear Antics: A wannabe actor, in a slasher prank, gets pushed over the edge.* 2 1/2 stars

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Paranormal State: Season 1 -episode 10 *A Native American coyote spirit / chaos critter is an unwanted housepest, for a rural Maine mom & visiting daughter, when its vortex in the backyard is disturbed. So, the team calls in some Native elders to do a ritual at the rocks around a hole on the property, and Christian psychic medium Chip Coffey tells the howling haunt to hit the road.* 2 1/2 stars

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