#al's unhinged tokyo soul summaries

[boatem-probler]

I'm Watching Tokyo Soul So You Don't Have To!

You Are Here! / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

So there's this 2015 Minecraft roleplay series that Grian was in. It's very bad and very, ah, dated, but it's also very full of Grian Angst, so people like to use it in their fanfiction.

A couple years ago, @paranoidpug watched every episode of the first season of this series, called Yandere High School, and wrote summaries of it, so people could learn what all those fanfics were referencing without having to actually watch the thing. They're very good summaries!

@sketchygainedyoursoul took over to do the second season, Tokyo Soul, but it seems like they never got past episode 8, so I've decided to take up the mantle of Tokyo Soul Chronicler. I know how it ends, and unfortunately it's like catnip to me, so this was inevitable really.

Also I'm starting from the beginning, because I'm using a different format and I wanted consistency I guess.

Content warnings for briefly mentioned violence, stalking, and uh... idk how to describe what's going on with Geode. Generally creepy behavior from an adult to a minor is broad enough I think. But in like, a mad scientist way? Yeah.

And Now... The Episodes Without Grian In Them

(I'm really selling this, huh...)

Episode 1 – New Beginning!

You are now sitting.

Sam, Taurtis, and Dom are in a train. They've just arrived in Tokyo. Sam told Taurtis they were going to Disneyland, because Taurtis doesn’t like big cities. Grian is not there.

Okami, their former teacher, has tasked them with navigating from the train station to a restaurant called “SushiWushi”. Let’s see how The Boys mess this one up!

They encounter a skeevy old man named Old Kurokuma outside the train station.

They get someone else named Igbar von Squid to show them the way to SushiWushi, but Sam wants to “mingle” by the dumpsters instead.

I’m now running the video back, because I want to see exactly how long it takes them to get to this restaurant.

Also Dom has the best outfit of the three.

“I’m starting to get spooked. Why’d you even come back here, Taurtis?” says Sam.

They encounter someone literally named “Suspicious Person” burning money in a fire, who offers them “sugar”. They jump over the fire to get away, with varying degrees of success.

“STOP DROP AND RICKROLL” – Dom

They do their “look both ways even though there are no moving cars in existence” bit. If I was Igbar I woulda just left them by this point. Igbar is visibly slumping.

The creepy old man is still following them, also.

They arrive at SushiWushi! It took them 10 minutes and 16 seconds (if my math is right). Honestly? I thought they wouldn’t be there before the episode was over, so good on them.

I’m obsessed with how their Minecraft avatars’ arms move when they’re sitting, by the way, it makes them look like a kid pretending to drive their parents’ car.

Sam and Taurtis both mention feeling uncomfortable around girls with knives.

Taurtis is arguing about pufferfish, Sam is trying to steal sushi from the next table over, Dom is… getting into a fistfight in the background?

Luckily, the person they were supposed to meet, Kiyu, arrives, and WHOA THEY HAVE A VOICE.

Kiyu begins showing them around.

Episode 2 – FIRST SCHOOL DAY!

Kiyu is bad with directions.

Old Kurokuma is STILL following them.

Kiyu shows them their house, they’re very excited about how fancy it is. Kiyu assures them that most of their stuff is there.

Dom is going to live in the dumpster outside apparently.

Kurokuma is outside their house now.

“We’re in the witness protection program, but I feel SO much more unsafe than we were before” – Taurtis. And from what I know it only gets worse!

The next morning, the boys attempt to make their way to school, but they don’t know where it is. They ask a student passing by, then decide to “jump ‘em” when they’re too shy to answer the question.

Taurtis, running over to a group of other students: “Can I hang out with you guys? Can you be my new friends?”

Sam asks Dom for a high five. Dom punches Sam. Sam dies. They continue walking to school.

Taurtis: “I miss our old school, I bet this one’s not even haunted.” Sam: “We could make it haunted!”

At school, they meet back up with Kiyu, who also goes there apparently, and she takes them to get their schedules from Señor Loro, who is wearing a luchador mask and what appears to be a Christmas sweater.

Señor Loro drops them through a trapdoor into a secret wrestling ring. They must wrestle him for their schedules, obviously.

Oh dang they actually have Four Whole Classes this time.

Episode 3 – TEACHER TORI!

On the way to their lockers, one of the other students, Greentama, who is wearing a One Punch Man outfit, one-punches them for jaywalking.

“There’s some weird stuff in these lockers.” – Kiyu

Their first class is with Teacher Tori, who is supposed to be Toriel from Undertale I think? She teaches Agriculture, apparently.

Creepy Man Update: He Is Still There

They go out to the courtyard to collect flowers. We learn that Kiyu avoids the sun.

We also learn that Señor Loro is the guidance counselor.

“Fish are just flowers that swim in the ocean.” – Taurtis

Their next class is Dr. Nurse MD’s Class of Not Dying!

Taurtis does not understand what witness protection is.

Dr. Nurse MD is teaching CPR. He asks for a volunteer from the audience. Taurtis gets volunteered. Dr. Nurse MD does not understand what CPR is. Somehow Taurtis survives.

By this, I mean that Dr. Nurse MD’s conception of CPR is: Choke the other person, and then throw stuff at them. Now pair up and try it on each other!

[Choked Out by The Mountain Goats playing in the background]

Episode 4 – DON’T DROWN!

Time for lunch!

One of the kids who was in Nurse MD’s class is stumbling around coughing up blood, it seems. Lovely.

Sam and Taurtis decide to eat lunch on the high diving board, where they witness someone almost drown.

Time for gym class! The PacerGram Fitness Test is a–

They do laps around the gym. Gym Teacher Helena loves pain, it seems. Also she has quite a bit of favoritism towards Kiyu.

The kid who was coughing up blood earlier is NOT looking good.

Episode 5 – CREEPY TEACHER!

Their last class is in classroom 12, which has a number 4 outside of the door, and also a gold key and a bottle of Mountain Dew. The floor inside is covered in mushrooms, and the teacher, Professor Geode Rocks, is sitting on a throne. He addresses his students as “subjects” and “my children”. There are chains hanging from the ceiling. The boys are very uncomfortable.

Geode calls the new kids to the front of the class and asks for their medical records. Also, every time he says someone’s name, he says it in all caps.

Taurtis starts listing out all of the physical trauma he’s suffered. Geode decides the three of them are “not good candidates”.

Geode gives them homework: Collect as much trash as possible. Extra points for blood, hair, and nails.

“Wait an Earth Second,” says Professor Geode, much like an Earthling would.

He starts sniffing Taurtis. Taurtis is “the one”. Now his plan can finally be a success. He pulls a hair out from Taurtis’s head. Taurtis does NOT like any of this. Even Sam is vocally weirded out. Geode starts yelling about world domination as the bell rings.

Sam: “We can’t go back, we’re in witness protection.” Taurtis: “I don’t feel protected here!”

Taurtis: “I’ve never felt so unsafe in my life.”

This school’s Yelp review is going to be real bad.

Sam: “This is for a class, Mr. Geode told us we had to get blood.” Señor Loro: “CLASSIC GEODE. He is eccentric.”

Creepy Man Update: Still.

I'm probably gonna do 1 school day per post from this point, it's a good way of breaking things up.

Next Time... Grian!

[boatem-probler]

Cthulhu Returns as a Soccer Dad, in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / You Are Here!

Last Time on Tokyo Soul...

"So yeah, these are definitely gonna come out slower from now on." -- Me, a Fool

Yeah I have no excuse. But! With this big batch of episodes down, the finale is so close I can smell it. It smells like something witty I'll think of later.

This report contains mentions of: Blood, Violence, Death, Guns Medical Malpractice, Allusions to Sexual Harassment/Assault

So Let's Get Back To It...

Episode 36 – A NEW FRIEND!!

Sam and Grian are on Taurtis’s computer, looking at his search history. He’s been searching for hair growth formulas.

Doughboy has been cooking parts of himself and distributing them to people.

Grian and Sam convince Taurtis to do several very stupid things on the premise that they can cure hair loss.

Geode is having a yard sale of all the trash he’s collected. And also Taurtis’s school locker.

They go to the train station to pick up another one of Sam’s friends, this time from Canada. He and Suspicious Person (remember Suspicious Person? From way back in episode 1?) walk out of the walkway on fire. The train platform is also on fire. Apparently Sam’s friend, Nick, set the fire.

Sam sent Nick Taurtis’s school uniform in the mail.

Sam apparently met Nick in a My Little Pony chatroom, where Nick said he was 14. The boys express doubt about this, given that Nick has a very full beard.

Grian: “We’ve had worse friends.”

Sam: “We were just talking about sports, right guys?” Grian: “Uh huh, sports! Footballfootballfootballtennishockey. Golf.”

I’m obsessed with the way he says this.

The cashier at the convenience store is Hank Kingofthe Hill except his name is Frank Chill. Just. By the way.

Episode 37 – DRAGON BALL Z!!

They all go over to Geode’s yard sale. He is frolicking around in the trash with a knife. He has a “mask” that is just a severed Dom Clone head. Grian wants to buy Taurtis’s locker. Geode just hands him a whole bunch of raw chicken. Geode doesn’t exactly grasp the concept of “sale”.

Another one of those weird aliens from the special has landed in the soccer field, and he’s brought Minions. Yes, those ones.

The alien guy gives a whole Dramatic Alien Speech to the effect of: he heard about Taurtis defeating that other alien guy in the special, and he would now also like to fight Taurtis.

Grian: “On a completely unrelated note, has anyone got any bullets?”

Basically Grian REALLY hates Minions and would really like the opportunity to actually shoot some in real life.

Anime Alien charges up for a good long while, and then Taurtis One Punches him. Then all the Minions charge, so the boys end up killing most of them too.

Sam: “How did you get this powerful, Taurtis?” Taurtis: “I did a push-up yesterday!”

As is tradition, they take Nick to Get His Class Schedule. Sam tells him there’s a fatality rate to the procedure, which I’m not sure I remember anyone saying before so he may just be fibbing. No one died that Sam saw, anyway.

Oh dear. So, Señor Loro is not wearing a shirt, because Geode is wearing his Christmas sweater. It turns out that Geode did, in fact, steal it from him without his knowledge, and attempts to deny ever having it. Despite this, Geode and Señor Loro both profess to being best friends. Grian is skeptical of the idea that someone would steal their best friend’s clothes and go to school wearing them. Sam argues that Grian has done that before. You may be able to see where this is going.

Anyway, Nick and Señor Loro fight. Unfortunately, someone has stolen all of the schedules.

Also this episode has the “Sam is my dog” blooper at the end.

EPISODE 38 – THE DARK LORD CTHULHU!

Chupa won the lottery for 5 cents, so he’s summoning Cthulhu again with a ritual meant to “gaze into time”. The ritual text is more old memes. Everyone makes Grian read it.

The whole class is transported to a room with blank white walls and a whole lot of bookshelves just kind of floating in various places. Igbar Cthulhu is there.

There’s also someone else who looks like a shadow with rainbow hair. Grian “wants whatever she’s smoking”.

Cthulhu has decided not to destroy humanity, and instead let Sam do it for him. Sam is “the cause of it all”. And also “the root of it all”.

Grian wants to know if he’ll ever get out of here. Cthulhu says it’s possible but not likely but also not really no.

Sam wants to know why they can still hear the school bell inside the weird room they’re in. Cthulhu says it’s a pocket space and they’re technically still in the classroom. Grian thinks this is bullshit and Cthulhu is just Saying Words.

Grian wants to know: “How do I kill Sam?” Cthulhu says: “You can’t.”

Also, the rainbow-hair shadow person is Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos. Sam and Grian start bullying her.

They transport themselves back to the classroom, and Cthulhu and Nyarlathotep come with them, because they want a front row seat to the world’s destruction. Also, Grian is jealous that Sam gets to be a horseman of the apocalypse and he doesn’t.

Sam is now threatening to destroy the universe when his friends are mean to him. Grian tries to call his bluff. There is a very ominous sound of thunder, but nothing else really happens.

Dr. Nurse has apparently gotten tired of Grian bugging him about “learning” all the time, so he’s taking the class on a field trip inside an ambulance. They’re going to see a car crash!

EPISODE 39 – CAR CRASH!

They arrive at the car crash. There is a man covered in blood standing in front of a burning car. He’s actually mostly fine, but the guy he crashed into, on the other hand, appears to have been… decapitated. Death is beautiful, remarks Cthulhu.

Oh, apparently the other guy is not fine, his organs feel squishy. Dr. Nurse gives him CPR. He dies.

Dr. Nurse gets a report of screaming… at Kurokuma’s house. Kurokuma claims he was just listening to Screamo. They can hear the screams. Once again, no one pays any attention to Grian’s protests. He doesn’t protest very much.

Then they all rush off to help Doughboy open a jar of pickles. Grian is pretty ticked off.

They go back to school for lunch. Grian reveals he took something from Cthulhu’s pocket dimension called a “Sleeping Chaos Potion”. He’s contemplating drinking it. Sam, of all people, points out that it’s probably a bad idea to drink something called a Sleeping Chaos Potion, but he still ends up chanting “chug” alongside everyone else.

Grian drinks the potion, and starts taking damage. Cthulhu says he’ll be fine, there will just be some “lingering side effects”. “If you have dreams about the world exploding, let me know.” This surely won’t have consequences! (But really, as far as I’ve been able to glean there aren’t actually any consequences for this within the canon of Tokyo Soul. I, however, can think of plenty of consequences!)

Also I feel like it’s worth noting, it turns out that Geode milking Dom way back however many episodes ago must have been accomplished with some sort of mod, and not by just hitting him and quickly swapping a pre-prepared bucket of milk into Geode’s hotbar as I has assumed, because every time someone hits someone else while holding an empty bucket, said bucket becomes a bucket of milk named “[username of the person who was hit]’s Milk”. I just thought you should all know that, because I am completely baffled by the fact that they chose to do this and then leave the mod on the server instead of doing a much easier classic filmmaking trick, for what was supposed to be a one-off gag. Anyway. I just had to get that off my chest.

Anyway they’re in gym class and Cthulhu wants Sam to kill Invader. He kind of sounds like a dad at his kid’s soccer game, except instead of soccer it’s the destruction of Earth.

Another Anime Alien has landed on the track behind the school. Sam shoots him and he dies.

Okay so I’m now coming back to this after God knows how long and also after a Very Long Day so I am very tired. We will see how this affects the Energy.

Where were we. Ah, right, this was supposed to be Jerry’s gym class. He’s at a bit of a loss. Jerry is one of the most reasonable and responsible people in this show honestly. Like, he’s trying. No One Else in this school is trying.

Students: So, what do we do for gym class now? Jerry: "Uh. Play?"

Also one of the students falls in a hole and everyone else starts badgering them with the milk buckets and the fishing rods that sound like guns. What is with these people and just leaving weird shit on this server that isn’t supposed to be there? It does add to the Atmosphere, I’ll give it that.

Episode 40 – KILL THE MINION!

Professor Geode has claimed all the unused classrooms as His House. Well, specifically his Holiday Home. He also has a Shop. Grian points out that it’s all very clean for Geode. He finds this suspicious.

Geode has an indoor yard. With sheep. And a Minion. The sheep are also robots?

Geode’s plan for today’s class is to dissect the Minion. Also, Google Docs is still trying to autocorrect “Geode” to “God”.

Geode bloodily slices from the Minion: A Watermelon Slice. A Single Rose. The Minion Energy Core (he’ll save this for later). A Bucket Of Milk. Numerous Garbage Bags. A Potion Bottle Of Blood. More Cores. And A Skull. Sam speculates whether the skull means that the Minion ate a human alive, and then simply assumes it does mean that. Geode then kills the Minion.

Grian wonders if Geode has been learning what friendship is. Taurtis looks directly at the sun.

Taurtis: "Do you ever wonder if we’re alone in the universe?" Grian: "NO."

Oh, Jerry has stolen Geode’s TV. Now I know I just said Jerry is one of the more reasonable characters but I fucking love Jerry and Dom’s TV Saga so he can steal as many TVs as he wants.

Sam remembers that Taurtis technically won a spaceship that morning, so they go over to the soccer field and break into it. The ship pranks them with a fake self destruct sequence, and then the boys accidentally take off for Planet Canada.

And then it’s…… the end of the day, but not the end of the episode? But it seems like it’s still the end of the recording session because they’re now making an excuse for why Grian isn’t there and going off to do some whole other plot? And I’ve decided this is too confusing for this late at night so I’m calling it here for now.

Okay I’m back. Let’s see… Taurtis’s hair is growing back in weird patches because he’s been using a suspicious hair growth serum, Grian got left in Canada and Sam blames Taurtis because the spaceship is technically his.

Taurtis: "He’ll be fine, he’s with Nick- oh, God, you’re right." Sam: "He’s screwed, dude!"

Regardless, Sam has decided that he wants to be a superhero too.

They go downstairs, where the house is covered in “totally not stolen” appliances. Like, not just TVs, there’s also ovens, landline phones, refrigerators, an entire streetlight, and Taurtis’s locker. Apparently this was Jerry and Doughboy’s doing.

Dom seems to be dressed up as some superhero I haven’t heard of. Oh, he’s Rorschach from Watchman apparently.

Some sort of robot appears and says it has come for the “bald one”. It’s here to kill Taurtis before he becomes too strong. It was also sent by someone called “The Steampunker”.

Episode 41 – MEETING SUPER HEROES!

Sam and Taurtis tell the robot to shut up while they argue about which one of them should be the sidekick. The robot starts speaking in binary and then attacks Taurtis, who kills it. Sam and Taurtis continue their argument.

Sam says he’s “contacted” some superheroes and takes Taurtis to meet them. Also, Alex Minecraft is just, like, There and walking around. Wait, there’s some Steves too, a weirdly high amount of people just don’t have custom skins on in this recording session apparently.

They meet up with Sam’s superheroes at a coffee shop. There are also two Inconspicuous Bald Men at the coffee shop. Oh also one of the “superheroes” is Old Kurokuma, currently under the name “Kuma the Lion”.

The other superhero is called Captain Radiator or Luke, I assume he’s meant to be a reference to something but I have no idea what. But he’s wearing a yellow hazmat suit.

Sam wants his superhero name to be “The Strongest in All the Universe and the Leader of All”.

Kurokuma is still a creep.

Sam: "Okay, well my superpower, is… that… Taurtis! He- he neeed me. In the time of need."

Sam is also still insisting that he can destroy the universe because Cthulhu said so. Taurtis continues to doubt this.

Sam is given a superhero outfit. It is a rabbit costume.

Taurtis: "How do you defeat people like that? Do you like, jump on their head like Mario?" Sam: "I kill them with cuteness! And this 50-caliber sniper rifle."

Ah, the Inconspicuous Bald Men are holding up the superstore.

Episode 42 – SUPER VILLAINS!

They attempt to enter the superstore from the roof, but Taurtis misses the jump and gets trapped in an alleyway, so they all just agree to meet him at the front of the store.

Captain Radiator takes off his mask and gives everyone in the store radiation poisoning. It is unclear what this actually accomplishes.

Also, The Steampunker has appeared outside the superstore. He’s captured Invader and wants the heroes to meet him in a warehouse at midnight. The heroes just go there immediately.

Then they spend a Good Five Minutes trying to think of a superhero team name.

Captain Radiator tries to give the robots radiation poisoning, but fails, because they’re robots.

Oh also Invader is just kind of dangling above a vat of goo that supposedly will turn her into a robot. She doesn’t seem particularly distressed or anything though.

Taurtis volunteers to take Invader’s place because he thinks being a robot would be cool. Sam thinks this will put Taurtis under the Steampunker’s control, so they should kill him first. The Steampunker says the robot goo won’t work if he’s dead. Sam decides this means he can take the Steampunker’s place after they kill him and then he’ll be the one to control Robot Taurtis. Taurtis says he’d rather be controlled by the Steampunker.

Anyway, I think they eventually decide they want to kill the Steampunker after all, because Taurtis decides he wants to fight on the edge of the goo vat (because it’d be cool)... and the Steampunker punches him into the goo.

Episode 43 – KILL ME!

Taurtis breaks out of the vat and kills the Steampunker (he tried to let Sam kill him, but Sam failed). Then they try to get Invader down, but accidentally drop her into the vat. And it seems like her face is melting off, so Sam et al. run out of the warehouse like cowards.

Cthulhu shows up to tell Sam how proud he is of him for killing more people and melting a girl’s face off. Nyarlathotep gives everyone Mountain Dew. Cthulhu insults Taurtis’s hair, so Taurtis tries to punch him, it doesn’t work, and Cthulhu electrocutes him with a bolt of lightning.

Sam and Taurtis break into someone’s house and sneak out the back door, so Kurokuma doesn’t find out where they live. It doesn’t work, because they forgot they live with three other people who have no idea what the fuck they’re trying to do.

Dom, Jerry, and Doughboy are just living their best TV stealing lives and I support them.

Once AGAIN they are starting a new day in the middle of an episode and it’s really throwing me off my rhythm!!

Anyway. Taurtis has changed out of his One Punch Man outfit, and he’s in the kitchen angrily trying to make breakfast because, according to him, someone sent him a letter saying that if he didn’t make food, he’d be “fired”. I think it’s implied that Sam sent this letter, and that Taurtis knows this, and that Sam knows Taurtis knows this? But who honestly fucking knows with Sam.

Grian walks in! Apparently he’s “just been in orbit for a while”. He’s very confused about why there are so many appliances in the house. He also acquired his own spaceship somehow, and parked it on the roof.

Is it more interesting if the spaceship simply fell out of orbit directly above “Tokyo”/navigated there on its own automatically, implying that there is some supernatural force keeping Grian trapped there, or if Grian decided to go back there himself? Discuss. I could go either way, honestly, although I would like to find a way to have both, ideally.

Oh, apparently the context behind “Taurtis angrily making food or else he’ll be fired” is that it was something CC!Sam decided he wanted to do like right before filming the scene. “And then you can poison my food or something.” The more you know!

Thank God this episode doesn’t end in the middle of anything honestly.

Grian Trauma Count!

Deaths Witnessed:

Anime alien

Lots of minions

He didn’t actually witness the death, but he did see the decapitated body, so, Car Crash Victim Number the First

Car Crash Victim Number the Second

Grian seems pretty sure whoever was in Kurokuma’s basement died

Anime Alien The Second

Minion

Listen he had to get that second spaceship somehow

Injuries Sustained:

Basically anytime the guns come out I assume he gets shot a few times

Traumatic Events:

Subjected to another one of Sam’s shady friends

A somewhat all-powerful evil being tells him that Sam is going to destroy the world, there’s no way out of this town for him, and he can’t even kill Sam about it

Kurokuma

Sleeping Chaos Potion (even if there are no consequences in the canon series, it did still definitely hurt)

Look, he didn’t seem all that shaken up by the Minion Dissection, but I think it should still count

Got left in Canada. Again.

Next Time... Grian Pushes Someone Into A Big Hole

[boatem-probler]

These Aliens Have Been Watching Too Much Anime in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / You Are Here!

It's been a while, huh? Yeah, I'm taking a summer class, and that started, so I've been a little busier than I was when I started doing this. This report is actually backlog, I wrote it up... I don't even know, like a month ago or something? So yeah, these are definitely gonna come out slower from now on.

In these episodes, the Chupacabra summons Cthulhu to find out the winning lottery numbers, Taurtis hits explosives with a gun, and the most useless aliens fail to invade Earth (not the aliens from last time, different ones).

This report contains mentions of: stalking, violence, guns, death, and splarging (i.e. sexual humor).

Previously on Tokyo Soul:

Sam: “You guys have problems, you know? I just wanna point that out. Everyone here, except for myself, clearly, has very serious mental problems.”

This Time...

Episode 33 – SHES BACK!

Dom and Jerry have gotten the house a new TV. It’s a motivational poster with a sign pointing to it that says “TV”.

Taurtis is still missing.

Jerry has one of the giant alien swords now, which he apparently got by strangling some random old guy.

Sam decides to wake Grian up by making out with him. Grian is distressed by this.

Sam and Grian open the front door to go to school and BAM! Taurtis with a giant gun!

It seems like Taurtis was captured by aliens, given a gun, and told that Sam and Grian had been replaced by aliens, or something like that. Correction from later: he stole the gun.

Regardless, they all head to school together. Grian and Taurtis share an umbrella.

Also, Sam got a letter in the mail from a “secret admirer” telling him they’ll be looking for him at school. Grian points out that Sam having admirers hasn’t tended to go well for him or the admirer.

Taurtis: “That’s why I don’t admire you. Too dangerous.”

Geode has stolen and is wearing Señor Loro’s Christmas sweater.

Invader is at school! She’s in town to see her uncle, who is apparently Dr. Nurse MD. He’s also “technically” not related to her.

Mr. Chupa has Igbar von Squid in a cage in the middle of the classroom. Mr. Chupa says he found some old books in a back room of the school and recreated a ritual from one of them.

Grian insists this is a very bad idea, while everyone pressures him to read out the ritual text.

Grian: “Are you not listening to me?” Taurtis: “We never listen to you.”

Grian reads out the ritual text. It’s basically a bunch of nonsense that’s obviously meant to sound more comedic than ominous.

Igbar starts moving around in the cage. His eyes are red now. Mr. Chupa picks a random student to go in the cage too. “Igbar” eats the student. Specifically “swallows him whole” according to Grian. Or “consumes his soul” according to Sam. Eyewitness accounts differ. Either way, Igbar is now Cthulhu.

Also, today I learned that Cthulhu is spelled with two H’s. Actually maybe I didn’t learn that, because it was autocorrect that told me to spell it that way and it’s been a bit unreliable. Whatever.

It turns out that Mr. Chupa summoned Cthulhu because he wants to know the winning lottery numbers.

Episode 34 – JERRY IS CRAZY!

Mr. Chupa allows the students to ask Cthulhu some questions. They’re pretty much entirely inconsequential. Taurtis wants to know Sam’s “true motives” for being friends with him and Grian, but Sam’s secrets, if there are any, are saved by the bell.

Dr. Nurse has started thinking about how valuable the elderly are after some “pranksters” killed a bunch of them at his hospital, so he has the class interview an old man who is very obviously an alien.

Sam, for some reason, has two of the “wire” textured head blocks from a few episodes ago in his locker, and they are in fact named “C4”. Grian is a bit horrified to learn that he recently had a bomb strapped to him.

Also, Mr. Chupa has been running around in the background for a while, as he has apparently lost Cthulhu.

I’m pretty sure whatever explosive these kids have isn’t C4, which means Taurtis definitely shouldn’t be smacking it with a gun. C4, as we all know, is a stable exp-

Grian gets shot in the leg again getting the bomb away from Taurtis.

Invader was apparently rummaging around in Sam’s closet, and found his old school uniform.

Geode is participating in gym class for some reason.

Jerry announces they will be playing Monster Tag, which is basically like sharks and minnows or zombie tag, and involves Jerry chasing everyone with his giant sword while wearing a monster mask.

Episode 35 – TERMINATOR!

Monster Tag turns out to be pretty mundane and not sinister, but we do get to hear Grian having a very good time being on the chasing team.

Geode and Dom are just playing Splatoon in Geode’s classroom. Also, the old guy from Dr. Nurse’s class is in the test tube in the back.

Geode tries to teach the class how to identify aliens, but he only knows one type of alien, so he can only conclude that the old man isn’t that type of alien.

As the bell rings, someone named Rowan Artifex types in the chat that they’re looking for Sam and Grian. Sam and Grian are confused and a little disturbed by this, because Rowan is dead.

Taurtis has been neutralized, Rowan says, which the boys figure is because the original, non-cloned Taurtis is in fact dead.

Also, Rowan is the Terminator now.

Also also, J the Star from the FUTURE is outside the school, he’s here to take the boys to the FUTURE in his FUTURE car. Unfortunately, he crashes the FUTURE car.

Also also also, there’s a giant spaceship hanging in the sky in the middle distance.

They run to the police station to get help from Okami.

The SWAT members try to hold Rowan off, but he is naturally unfazed by being riddled with bullets and just starts killing his way through.

FUTURE J the Star blows a hole in the police station wall with FUTURE TNT so they can all escape. FUTURE TNT looks a lot like a powder keg.

Okami drives them all away in the SWAT van.

ONE PUNCH MAN SPECIAL

Okami parks directly under the spaceship. This also happens to be right in front of the hospital, which Dr. Nurse is NOT happy about.

J the Star fucks off.

Okami explains that in order to defeat the Terminator, they’ll have to destroy the “source”, which is probably in the spaceship.

Grian: “I hate getting all SWATed up, I usually get shot.”

Taurtis has somehow changed into a One Punch Man cosplay instead of a SWAT uniform. He’s even shaved his head.

They head into the hospital to get up to the roof, now being chased by Rowan, but Sam decides to hang back and shoot at him for some reason, which means Rowan is able to shoot Grian a couple times.

They get in a helicopter on the roof and fly up to the spaceship. Okami tells them to destroy the “core”. Jerry stays on the helicopter, but he throws Taurtis his giant anime sword.

The insides of the ship are… Fleshy.

They come across some aliens standing around in front of a tube of lava labeled “Free Alien Repellant”. These aliens are not little green guys. They are Doraemon, the Pillsbury Doughboy, and someone named Jeice who I think is supposed to be from Dragon Ball Z. They are all wearing uniforms.

They attempt to defeat the humans, but they accidentally end up killing two of their own number with an off-screen buzzsaw in the process, and the humans quickly dispatch the third.

Grian is pretty sure these guys have nothing to do with the Terminator. He’s still up for killing them though.

There’s another Doughboy. He says he’ll give them a “splarging” if they let him live. They come across two other aliens “splarging”, which apparently involves one of them hitting the other one with a stick.

Guys I don’t know what the hell’s going on anymore. I would say it was probably just because this is a special but I’ve watched bits and pieces of the episodes after this and it all just turns into mush, guys. I am in miseryyyyyyyyy-

Anyway the boys get Doughboy 2 to lure the splarging aliens into a hallway so they can kill them.

Wait oh my god is that Joel Smallishbeans’s old Shrek skin. It’s not exactly the same but like, there’s definitely a resemblance. It might just be that they’re both supposed to be Shrek though.

Anyway there’s a room with a bunch of aliens in it and Grian shoots one while the leader guy is doing an Anime Villain Speech. Leader Guy starts charging up, but all that does is kill all the other aliens in the room. Leader Guy dies in one hit.

They get a different alien to show them where the core is, but this turns out to be a trick, and they’ve just been led directly to the actual leader, Boros. Boros pretty much just wants to fight one of them. Apparently it was foretold by prophecy. Sam and Grian volunteer Taurtis.

Boros wants to know his “terms”.

Taurtis: “How about, the first person to kill Sam wins.” Grian: “Ooh, I like that one!”

They just end up fighting to the death like normal though.

Grian decides that he’s “the prize”. He jokes that he’ll give Taurtis “a good splurging” if he wins. Then he takes it back when Taurtis and Boros take a break and just start chatting.

Also they’re on top of the spaceship now, so Grian runs over to where Okami’s helicopter is.

Taurtis and Boros decide to fistfight instead of swordfight, and Taurtis kills him in not one, but two punches, which is still pretty impressive.

Grian: “I changed my mind, Taurtis, I’m gonna splarg you real good tonight.”

Taurtis wants to keep the ship, but Sam put the rest of the “C4” in the control room, so they helicopter out of there before it blows up.

Doughboy is still with them. Grian tries to assign him the basement dungeon room, but Doughboy decides he likes Grian’s room better, and says Grian should have the dungeon. Sam and Taurtis insist Grian should go in the dungeon as a “sign of trust”. Grian reacts very strongly and violently to all of this, and he mentions Sam locking him in the dungeon as a reason why he feels so strongly about it. They’re not backing down though, so Grian runs upstairs and locks himself in Sam’s room instead and starts going through all his stuff.

Grian Trauma Count!

Deaths Witnessed:

1 Student

An Indeterminate But Large Number of SWAT Team Members

10-ish Aliens

Injuries Sustained:

Shot a good few times (there is NO way this kid's legs are normal after all this)

Traumatic Events:

More harassment from Sam

Peer pressured into performing an eldritch ritual which gets someone killed

In the process of this, his friends straight up tell him they never listen to him

Also he finds out he had explosives strapped to his head yesterday

More guns and being shot at, yippee

Teacher from his old school is brought back to life specifically to kill him and his friends

Whatever the hell is going on with these aliens should count I think

The way he reacts to Sam and Taurtis trying to pressure him into giving up his room is telling I think

Next Time... Minions.

[boatem-probler]

Lizzie LDShadowlady Has the Weirdest Day of Her Life So Far in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / You Are Here! / 7 / 8 / 9

I was pretty excited for this one, since I, like many other people, am Very Intrigued by the idea of one of the people in the Life Series having known C!Grian during this part of his life.

It might seem a little underwhelming, since no really big plot things happen in these episodes (inasmuch as Tokyo Soul has a plot), but think about it from Lizzie's perspective.

To the trio we've been following, and to someone like me who has been watching this whole trainwreck for 21 episodes, this is a normal day at school. To Lizzie, she just went to visit a friend who moved away and all of a sudden she's meeting The Actual Chupacabra.

She gets just a thin slice of the fever dream that is Grian's life, and no context for any of it, and I think that's fun to think about.

Anyway, let's actually get to it.

This report contains mentions of: blood, knives, stalking, harassment

Previously on Tokyo Soul:

“This is the most I’ve learned since we’ve been at this school, to be honest.” – Taurtis

This Time...

Episode 22 – QUEEN OF ENGLAND!

Grian and Taurtis barge into Sam’s room, waking him up. They need to pick up Lizzie, Grian’s friend from back in England!! Sam is insistent that they are about to meet the Actual Queen Of England.

Taurtis just has a giant anime sword in his hotbar for some reason. Not either of the giant anime swords Jason had, and also I think not the demon sword Igbar found in the dump, a completely new giant anime sword.

They meet Lizzie at the train station and Sam bows and hands her a cup of tea. Lizzie immediately picks up on what he’s doing and agrees that she is, in fact, the Queen. Grian is annoyed.

Taurtis gives her all the Taurtis clone blood he still has in his pockets for whatever reason. Lizzie is thrown a bit off guard by this.

Grian: “If I’ve learnt anything hanging out with them, it’s that you need to go with what they’re doing, otherwise they slightly lose it.” Lizzie: “Okay, I’m going with it. Who wants to rub blood on themselves?”

Lizzie claims she’s never had detention in her life.

Sam introduces Lizzie as the Queen of England to everyone at the park and wonders if they should have a welcoming ceremony, and Lizzie tells him people usually have a red carpet prepared for her, but she understands that this trip was on short notice. Grian is protesting this in the background.

Geode’s face is melting again. He is once again confused by Grian and Lizzie having similar accents.

They take Lizzie to Señor Loro’s office so she can wrestle for her class schedule. She seems to take this in stride. Also, no one has updated the class schedules since Tori died.

Someone wrote “Unloved Child” on Grian’s locker.

Mr. Chupa is going to teach his class the practical life skill of How To Hide A Body! He wants Grian to volunteer to act as the “body”. He then tries to demonstrate how to find a convenient place to stash the body, such as a closet, but Igbar is already in the closet.

He then announces that sometimes in life, people will just want to kill you, and proceeds to barricade the door, pull out a knife, and tell everyone to run. He chases the class around an obstacle course he built on school grounds. When they reach the end, he tells them they all get As.

Episode 23 – THE CREEPY MAN!

They go into Dr. Nurse’s classroom. Taurtis stole Sam’s teddy bear out of his locker again. Sam tells Lizzie to smack Taurtis upside the head for him. She smacks Taurtis upside the head. Taurtis tells Dr. Nurse that Lizzie hit him. Sam corroborates. Dr. Nurse gives Lizzie detention.

Dr. Nurse takes them all up to the rooftop to learn how not to get hurt. This involves jumping onto an inflatable bag on the ground below that is surrounded by fire. Grian jumps immediately and somehow lands it perfectly.

Igbar falls into the fire and has to run over to the pond. Sam pushes someone off. Taurtis throws Sam’s teddy bear into the flames and Sam jumps in after it. Once everyone is on the ground, Dr. Nurse tells them to “battle and push each other into the flames”. Even Sam is forced to admit they aren’t really learning much.

On the way to lunch, Grian and Lizzie discuss Cheeky Nandos, and how you have to live it to understand it.

Señor Loro shows up to collect Lizzie for her detention. He’s mad at her for dishonorably crying for mercy and then punching him out of the ring when she was wrestling for her schedule. He pulls out a FOURTH, DISTINCT GIANT ANIME SWORD.

Sam tries to blackmail Señor Loro by threatening to tell the principal that he was playing Minecraft on his office computer instead of working. This fails, because the principal is Señor Loro’s brother-in-law. Grian tries to get Señor Loro to give Sam detention. Instead, Señor Loro sends them all to the corner. Taurtis objects, on the basis that he hasn’t done anything, he’s a good student, he almost does his homework somet–

There is a very abrupt cut, after which Dr. Nurse, Mr. Chupa, AND Geode are all in the room, implying that Taurtis has been arguing for a WHILE. Just kidding this show isn’t that sophisticated. But I’m imagining it and it’s funny.

Señor Loro tells Sam and Lizzie to get in the ring and wrestle each other, because he’s bored. Meanwhile, Taurtis tries to get Grian to give him his ramen noodles, and Grian says he only has one noodle left but they could Lady-and-the-Tramp it.

Lizzie wins the wrestling match immediately.

In gym class, they play dodgeball, which means Jerry makes Sam, Taurtis, Grian, and Lizzie stand on a red line while everyone else throws toilet paper at them, because the school didn’t have enough budget to get basketballs. This quickly devolves into utter chaos.

In the confusion, Old Kurokuma sneaks into the girls’ locker room and emerges wearing Lizzie’s clothes.

Episode 24 – RUN LIZZIE!

Kurokuma has fucking vanished, so the boys offer to get Lizzie some new clothes. First, though, they have to go to Geode’s class. The boys leave their gym uniforms on in solidarity.

There is a huge pile of dirt and trash in the middle of Geode’s classroom.

Geode makes Lizzie stand in front of the class and answer questions about how many organs she has. She claims she has two hearts because she’s a Time Lord. Geode pulls out a knife. Lizzie runs back to her seat. Geode is Very Confused.

Geode wants the class to build beacons around the school so he can contact his superiors. Er, he means his Aunt.

He accidentally hands Sam a book with a “List of Chosen Ones” in it. His list of criteria must be seen to be believed.

Sam spots Old Kurokuma scuttling around the school hallways, and they all chase after him to get Lizzie’s clothes back. They follow him back to his house. Naturally, they break in.

He has an LDShadowlady shrine in his house. They read his diary. It says he wants to think of a way to lure Lizzie to his house and trap her there, which Lizzie finds a somewhat alarming thing to read while she’s actually in his house.

They spot Kurokuma outside, so they all hide in a room with chains in the basement, as you do. Then they bolt while Kurokuma is upstairs looking for his diary.

There sure are a lot of beacon beams around the school now, and they sure are visible from a good distance away!

The episode ends rather anticlimactically, with the gang just sitting down to pretend to watch some cartoons in their house before Lizzie has to catch her train back to England.

Grian Trauma Count!

Traumatic Events:

Physical well-being is put in danger in half his school classes today.

His friend being creeped on by the same creepy old man who's been stalking him and his other friends since they got to this town.

Also some random person he doesn't even have any beef or history with just decided to write "unloved child" on his locker.

And Special for This Report, Lizzie's Weird Fucking Visit to Tokyo Count!

Within minutes of arriving, she is handed a whole bunch of blood by someone she only knows as Grian's Friend.

Grian lightly implies that his friends are some ambiguous idea of "crazy".

On the way to school, Lizzie is introduced to: "Jerry", who looks weirdly like Grian's friend Taurtis but with a grotesquely swollen head, which she is informed is because Jerry is a clone of Taurtis who almost exploded but didn't. A creepy old man who Grian's friend Sam says is their friend who works at the panty shop, but who they all still seem really uncomfortable around anyway. And Professor Geode, whose face is melting off and who doesn't know what an English accent is, which is apparently normal.

At school, she has to wrestle the guidance counselor to get a class schedule.

The first class is taught by The Chupacabra, who chases them around the school with a knife. The teacher of the second class gives Lizzie detention and makes them all jump off the school roof into a fire pit.

For her detention, Lizzie is threatened with a giant sword by the guidance counselor and then made to wrestle Grian's friend Sam.

Gym class is taught by "Jerry" and consists of everyone throwing toilet paper rolls at each other.

The creepy old man from earlier steals Lizzie's clothes out of her gym locker.

The next class is taught by the melting face man, who asks her about her organs and pulls a knife on her, then gives the class a completely nonsensical task that he's really evasive about and that Grian seems really apprehensive of.

Instead of doing the class activity they go chasing after the creepy old man, break into his house, find out he has a shrine of Lizzie in his room, hide in a Chain Basement, and get out by the skin of their teeth.

Grian takes Lizzie to the train station.

That's kind of a lot to take in, ya know?? And that's not even getting into the many ways you could headcanon that she got from Relatively Normal England to the Minecraft Multiverse (especially if you know what happens at the end of Tokyo Soul. There's a lot of room for fic ideas here). Personally, I'm having a lot of fun imagining her as some kind of Isekai Protagonist.

Next Time... Everyone In the Comments of This Video Is Saying It Aged Poorly Specifically Because of the Guest, So That's Just Real Nice

[boatem-probler]

And Now for Something Completely Different, in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / You Are Here! / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

Smaller batch of episodes today, just a strange little mini-arc while Taurtis is presumably unavailable.

This report contains mentions of: gross humor, sexual humor, and harassment.

Previously on Tokyo Soul:

Grian: “I’m into dudes.”

“Fully Cooked Ramen?”

Grian: “Hey, Mr. Principal! :) Your teacher gave us snipers! :) I don’t know what kind of circus you’re running here! :)”

This Time...

Episode 11 – THE SUPER STORE

We open on Grian walking in on Sam in the bathroom. Sam makes Grian wipe for him. I wouldn’t relate this but I’ve seen people mentioning it out of context and was confused, and thought others may have also been confused. So allow me to clear up the confusion. There was never any context to begin with.

Also, Taurtis was taken away in the night by “officers” for not having the proper visa, Señor Loro reports. He promptly leaves.

Oh also it’s the weekend apparently, so they don’t have school. Instead, Sam has scheduled a job interview for them. Which is good, since Sam just spent the last of their money on KitKats.

Sam also steals a teddy bear from the hotel gift shop.

They ask Igbar for directions to the superstore, because Igbar knows where everything is. He also gives them his umbrella.

They arrive at the superstore, where they and the only other non-manager employee, Jason, immediately antagonize each other.

They’re interviewed by the manager, Mr. Nautilus, and Sam overshares quite a bit. Luckily, Mr. Nautilus also has a dead girlfriend, so he and Sam have a point of commonality.

Also, Tokyo Soul takes place in That One Time 2027, according to the calendar on the wall.

Mr. Nautilus doesn’t like either of the boys, but the superstore is short staffed, so they’re hired anyway! They’re each given a key to the bathroom and a company credit card.

Episode 12 – I HATE JASON

Sam and Grian have changed into their work uniforms. Also, it seems that Jason and Mr. Nautilus were watching them change through the bathroom mirror, which is in fact just a window. Okay.

The principal is shopping at the superstore and Grian immediately tears back into him about his staff.

They try to sell the principal a watch. Jason steals their sale.

Books that are for sale at the superstore: Squid Erotica. The Normie’s Guide to Memes. Why Squids Can’t Be Trusted. History of Anime. If Microwaves Could Dream. How to Lick Feet: For Dummies. Theoretical Panty Physics. Encyclopedia of Aliens.

Apparently the squid erotica is a priceless heirloom belonging to Mr. Nautilus, and the boys weren’t supposed to sell it. They also have no idea how the cash register works. Jason continues to antagonize them by being more competent than they are.

Professor Geode is here. He now has a disconcertingly wide smile, and his face appears to be glitching, or possibly melting. He requires trash and human waste. Mr. Nautilus is not pleased that the boys let him into the staff bathroom.

Professor Geode requires human food. Jason swoops in to sell him a bike, assuring him that it’s perfectly edible, and he can in fact feed it to people.

Also, Jason can teleport maybe??

Episode 13 – KILL JASON!

Sam and Grian hide in the electronics section to come up with a plan to get Jason fired, but Jason teleports behind them, so they relocate to the bathroom. They still appear to be unaware of Jason and Mr. Nautilus watching them through the mirror-window.

Grian’s plan is to push over some shelves and make it look like Jason did it. Sam’s plan is to push the shelves onto Jason, and break his legs. Grian insists that they are NOT going to kill anyone in this town, but eventually says that breaking Jason’s legs might be “for the best”. They are then called to the manager’s office.

He just wants to chew them out for not being more like Jason, rather than for threatening to break Jason’s legs.

Jason is now wearing Grian’s head???? He’s pretending to be Grian’s reflection for some reason??

A customer wants something for “chop chop”. Sam tries to sell them a garden trowel. Jason shows up and sells them a giant anime sword. They want him to test it on Grian and Sam.

Grian and Sam are sent to clean the bathroom. They continue to discuss strategy.

Sam: "Do you want me to set him on fire?" Grian: "Um… I would, but I think that’s illegal."

Mr. Nautilus is now wearing Sam’s head?? I honestly can’t tell if they’re supposed to actually be acting as Sam and Grian’s reflections or what. What the hell is going on in the superstore.

Sam and Grian successfully sell some guy panties for 500 or 5000 dollars, I’m not sure what exactly the exchange rate is between dollars and gold bars retextured to look like 1000 yen bills.

……But then it turns out the guy is a known counterfeiter, whose money will explode if you try to use it.

They try to slip the fake money into Jason’s cash register, but Jason catches them, so they decide to just go with plan B, which is “bring him into the bathroom and waterboard him in the toilet”. This also fails, because he still has that giant anime sword. AND a katana.

Sam and Grian decide to quit.

Mr. Nautilus claims they signed a contract and he can get them deported. Sam and Grian tell him this is bullshit, and just make a run for it.

Sam shows Grian around their house, as this is the first time he’s been there. Sam assigns Grian the dingy basement.

The sushi from episode 1 is STILL on their table.

Grian Trauma Count!

Traumatic Events:

Taurtis being deported is kind of glossed over because it’s probably just an excuse for why CC!Taurtis couldn’t film that day, but I would think that would count.

Bathroom Mirror-Window.

Threatened with two giant swords by Jason.

Next Time... Taurtis Is Back!

[boatem-probler]

The Boys Are Back in the Mob in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / You Are Here! / 8 / 9

Wowie zowie it's another guest episodes! But this time it's Sam's guest so it's not as good as Lizzie. In these episodes, the boys try to have a nice day out while Professor Geode shows his "family" around town, Grian's mic is out to lunch, and organized crime rears its ugly head once again in the city.

This report contains mentions of: violence, guns, drugs.

Previously on Tokyo Soul:

"Who wants to rub blood on themselves?” -- Lizzie

This Time...

Episode 25 – A NEW FRIEND!

Taurtis is filming a roleplay called “Yandere Middle School” lol.

Sam mentions his “personal friend” named Jin who they need to pick up from the train station.

Taurtis: “You have other friends?” Sam: “Yeah, I have friends!” Grian: “News to me.”

Sam: “Grian had a friend, I can have a friend too.” Taurtis: “But he’s actually likable.”

Sam’s friend is actually moving to the area, Sam says.

Dom and Jerry break the TV.

On the way to the train station, they see that another UFO has crashed into the tree in Geode’s yard.

While the boys are arguing about whether it is, in fact, a UFO, they are HALTed by Officer Flare. He fines them for jaywalking, and then for attempting to bribe him with Doritos and bagels. He doesn’t make any attempt to actually collect any money from them though.

Jerry is selling JerryCats and Air at the train station.

Jin gets off the train, along with two very obviously stereotypical Green Aliens in touristy clothes. Taurtis tries to convince Jin not to move there. Jin is from Kyoto, apparently.

The aliens are met by none other than Geode, who is trying to pass them off as his “Pappa” and “Gramma”.

Dom is running a bar and grill at the train station. Also, it turns out he didn’t break the TV, he stole it to put in his bar and grill.

They look for a restaurant. Grian just straight up walks into someone’s house and sits down at their kitchen table. Jerry breaks the food that was on the table. Then Igbar von Squid walks in because it turns out this is his house. He’s not happy. The boys get out of there pretty fast.

They run into the principal and Grian chews him out again. Jin is a bit shocked to hear what’s been going on at their school.

Jin: “I’m still in Japan, right?”

Honestly, I’m not too sure about that.

Episode 26 – GRIAN IS AN ALIEN!

They go to an actual restaurant. Sam makes Taurtis read the menu sign outside. He claims the restaurant serves “fish legs”, and Jin calls him out on not actually being able to read Japanese. The boys are all shocked that Jin can. More fuel for my silly little “this whole show takes place in some kind of pocket-dimensional space warp” headcanon.

Geode and his “family” are also at the restaurant. Grian, as the only one willing to admit they’re aliens and probably planning some kind of invasion, sits near them so he can listen in on their conversation. He sounds like he’s near tears trying to convince the others.

And then he sounds like a robot, because he’s having mic issues. The way they decide to work this into the story is: Taurtis yells “HE’S AN ALIEN”, Geode yells “THE MIND SLUGS HAVE ACTIVATED”, and everyone runs out of the restaurant, away from Grian.

Grian tearfully chases after them. Taurtis pulls out a gun. Sam tells him to shoot Grian in the leg if he “speaks alien”. Taurtis shoots him before he says anything, he screams, it’s incredibly garbled, everyone runs away in fear again. This is not a good day for Grians.

Then there’s a cut and Grian is speaking normally again. He explains that from his perspective, he was speaking normally and they just shot him for apparently no reason.

Officer Flare fines Grian for having an open wound. Grian decides to bandage his wound with the paper the fine is written on. He also decides to give his name as “Sam Gladiator” when the cop asks.

Sam protests loudly. “Grian, why are you trying to pull a fast one?” Grian says to him. The gaslighter become the gaslighted. Well not really since they all run away before much else is said.

Episode 27 – RUN ITS THE COPS!

They all head over to the apartment Jin’s planning to move into so he can sign the lease. The landlords are… pretty blatantly The Mafia. Also they have a doorman dressed in a very skimpy outfit and a Pepe mask, because that’s the sort of series this is. The landlords ask Jin if he’s “part of another gang in town”.

Jin’s lease contract involves him giving the landlords a pint of blood. And his soul. Right now though, the landlords just make him clean the top floor. Sam et al. go up to watch him clean, Sam gets angry at the younger landlord and punches him, and the younger landlord pulls out a gun. They all start cleaning, except Taurtis, who decides to break all the windows for some reason. Then he falls off the balcony.

The landlords also want Jin to deliver drugs to a man under a bridge. The man is Old Kurokuma, because we can never be rid of this guy. And, of course, the same cop from before walks up and tries to arrest them all. They scatter. The cop shoots at them a couple of times.

They run back to Jin’s apartment. The landlords want the money from the deal, which Jin didn’t get. The cop breaks the door down. The boys break another window to escape. 

They lose the cop by hiding in the school, before presumably heading back to Jin’s apartment. That’s what they say they’re doing, but the episode and the recording session end before they get there.

Grian Trauma Count!

Injuries Sustained:

Shot in the leg and bandaged the wound with a piece of paper and then kept running on it which definitely didn’t help.

Traumatic Events:

Guns are drawn on him multiple times by multiple people.

Once again something weird/bad is happening, in this case possible alien invasion, and literally no one will take his worry seriously.

The aliens do something to him that he doesn’t know what it is, just that it makes his friends convinced he’s an alien, run away from him in fear, and then shoot him.

Forced (by proximity to the guy who’s explicitly being forced, basically) to participate in a drug deal.

Chased and shot at by a police officer.

Next Time... the Deaths Witnessed Count Gets a Pretty Big Shot in the Arm

[boatem-probler]

That There's a Choopah Cobbler in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / You Are Here! / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

Hello once again dear readers! Al Boatem-Probler here to bring you another report on this mid-2010s Minecraft roleplay series.

Everyone's favorite boy is here, which means I will now be keeping track of Deaths Witnessed, Injuries Sustained, and Other Traumatic Events, the way @paranoidpug did in her own summaries. Not to mention, I've gotten to the episodes that haven't been covered in @sketchygainedyoursoul's summaries! Very exciting!

This report contains mentions/discussion of: scatological humor, violence, guns, stalking, harassment, and Professor Geode Rocks.

Previously on Tokyo Soul:

“STOP DROP AND RICKROLL” – Dom

“Fish are just flowers that swim in the ocean.” – Taurtis

“I’ve never felt so unsafe in my life.” – Taurtis

This Time...

Episode 6 – THE NEW GIRL!

I forgot to write this down last time, but it’s been established that Taurtis can and WILL fall asleep literally anywhere. I was reminded of this because Sam decided to sleep in Taurtis’s bedroom, while Taurtis fell asleep standing up directly outside the door.

Sam attempts to wake him up by enticing him to eat the sushi that has been sitting on their kitchen table for over a day now.

Sam insists he can see the creepy old man hiding behind a wall near their house. Taurtis insists he’s crazy. In a break from form, Sam is actually telling the complete truth this time.

Dom is putting the horrible old sushi on a bagel. Just thought you guys should know this.

They know what happened to Grian now, he went to the other Tokyo, you know, the one in Canada.

Sam: “Do you remember Grian? He’s lived with us for a very long time?” Taurtis: “That guy with the glasses, who had that rocket ship? Yeah, the rich person!” I think this is probably referencing the Yandere prequel thing? IIRC they were doing it at the same time as Tokyo Soul, but I’d have to check to be sure.

Checking the dates on the episodes… oh dang this one went up on Christmas Eve. Grian Christmas Present Momence. Okay, the first episode of Yandere went up nearly four months after this episode, so uh… in conclusion I have no idea what’s going on with this dialogue. Interesting.

Dom calls Grian “the Friendly Kid”.

Anyway they go to pick Grian up from the train station. I can’t tell if this is a different train station or if the name of it has changed between episodes.

GRIAN’S HERE!!!!!

Grian: “I don’t know whooooo was responsible for that. But you sent me halfway round the globe.” Sam: “Why are you looking at me when you say that, it wasn’t my fault!” Grian: “I just feel like… you just gave me the wrong ticket, that’s all.” Sam: “I put ‘em all in a box, I shook ‘em up, and I randomly drew one.” Grian: “And two of them went to Tokyo, Japan, and one of them went to Tokyo, Canada.”

I just had to relate nearly all of that conversation because right now I feel like any of it or none of it could be true. Because playing Russian Roulette with their plane tickets is some shit Sam would do I think, but intentionally giving Grian the wrong ticket and lying about it is also some shit Sam would do I think. So I’m just like, putting it out there for public debate.

Taurtis: “How long did it take you to realize that it wasn’t actually Japan?” Grian: “When I was on the plane, and they said Welcome to Canada.”

Apparently Grian had to spend all of his own money on the plane ticket back from Canada.

Taurtis: “How do you get your face caught in a blender?” Grian: “It happened One Time.”

They notice Geode walking to school. It seems he lives in a house with some kind of weird construction on top of it that is perpetually on fire.

Sam makes Grian show them the way to the school he hasn’t been to yet. Grian ends up asking Igbar von Squid again.

Hey whatever texture pack these guys are using has a really good nighttime skybox! This shit is pretty!

Sam’s mom texts him apparently???? I wasn’t aware she existed.

Sam and Taurtis nonchalantly introduce Grian to the creepy old man. Grian is appropriately terrified.

A new student turns up, named Yee, who’s Minecraft skin is I think supposed to be Monster Kid from Undertale. They have immediately started hitting on… one of the boys, it’s unclear which.

There is a circle of blood around a sheep’s head inside the school.

Grian: “Ooh, this school is an upgrade… [walks around the corner] Ohhhkay I take back what I said.”

Ah, apologies, it’s a goat’s head. Someone killed one of Señor Loro’s goats.

Regardless, Sam and Taurtis make Grian wrestle for his class schedule. Grian legitimately sounds terrified the whole time. Señor Loro accidentally punches a hole in the wall and runs off in shame.

Ohhhhkay, the creepy old man is IN the school, WEARING a girl’s school uniform.

Taurtis and Sam attempt to pressure Grian into going over to talk to him. It actually doesn’t entirely work, they end up all going over there. Taurtis and Sam attempt to set up the two “newbies”.

Taurtis: “Grian, you like girls, right?” Grian: “No, I’m into dudes.”

Ellen was Grian’s baby gay awakening. Taurtis immediately wants to know who Grian thinks is cuter, him or Sam. “You guys are just not my type,” Grian says. He does however admit that Taurtis has “some good glutes”.

Geode is collecting the goat blood from the floor. I cannot stress enough that Geode looks aggressively normal. He is wearing the blandest suit and has the blandest haircut imaginable.

Grian’s locker is absurdly far away from everyone else’s. Like down multiple hallways.

Episode 7 – SENOR LORO!

Tori tells Sam off for punching another kid who came in late. She is the only reasonable teacher in this school probably.

Tori is taking them fishing this class.

They walk past the girl’s bathroom next to the pool because Tori is lost. There is another goat head in it. Sam and Taurtis decide to take the head with them, in case they run into Señor Loro. Grian is worried he’ll think they killed it.

They continue to the pond behind the school, where they are given fishing rods to use. For some reason, the fishing rods sound like guns. I feel like this wasn’t intentional.

Creepy man sighted once again. Sam is now calling him Grian’s “girlfriend”.

Not Dying Class! Nurse MD has decided to call Grian “Mr. BoyMan”. Today, they are competing in a Food Pyramid Scavenger Hunt for the prize of a lifetime subscription to Hunter x Hunter. Their homework is to eat at least one item on the food pyramid. Grian is mad that their teacher isn’t teaching them anything.

Sam and Taurtis terrorize Grian with, uh, Bathroom Chocolate. Grian throws up a couple times. To be honest I’m not entirely sure what Sam and Taurtis are and aren’t doing In The Fiction so to speak, but Grian definitely vomited, so I feel I must put this on the record.

The principal has been sighted by the vending machine! Grian disagrees with his staffing choices, and tells him so, very vehemently. The principal gives Nurse MD a raise. Nurse MD gives Grian detention.

Nurse MD: “Go to the guidance counselor to get your attitude in check.” Grian: “You need to go back to university to get your degree sorted.”

Grian: “Dr. Nurse MD has to be there while I do the detention, sucks to be him!”

Apparently Nurse MD is allowed to just lock him in a room, actually. Also half the school was filming this altercation from the courtyard.

Sam: “I think that’s going up on YouCrab later.” Grian: “Good, I want everyone to know what useless staff they have here.”

Apparently “this sort of thing really triggers” Grian, this sort of thing presumably being incompetent teachers. He’s sort of using “trigger” flippantly here, but like, you could very well argue it’s true.

Oh, apparently “detention” means you have to wrestle Señor Loro. At least Sam legitimately offers to tag in for Grian (after a little while enthusiastically cheering for Señor Loro to “give him the ol’ one-two”).

They tell Señor Loro about the second Goat Murder, and he asks them to help him look for the rest of his missing goats. He gives them each a “Crystal of Tenochtitlan” whatever that means. Oh, apparently they allow you to talk to animals.

Episode 8 – GIRLFRIEND?!

Instead of searching for Señor Loro’s goats, the boys attempt to figure out which one of them Yee keeps hitting on. It’s Grian! Sam immediately tells Grian he should ask Yee to take off her glasses so they can see if she’s a lizard person. She does. She is a lizard person, and not Monster Kid as I had previously thought. In my defense, Sans Undertale has literally been in the background of several scenes already. Grian is spooked, Yee is angry, Sam has never laughed this hard in his life (according to Sam). I think they’re all being a bit mean.

Gym class is a competitive obstacle course, Girls (easy) vs Stupid Boys (difficult).

On the way to Professor Geode’s class, Sam and Taurtis tell Grian what happened last time (roughly). Grian is very apprehensive.

Geode collects everyone’s trash. The classroom has been slightly rearranged. There is now some sort of… operating table? In the center, with all the chairs arranged around it. Dom is in a giant test tube in the back. Taurtis is given a Special chair next to Geode’s throne.

Sam is told to “COLLECT THE MILK OF THE INNOCENT ONE”. This means Dom, apparently. When Sam fails to do this, Geode does it instead. I don’t know exactly what this entails, because Sam wasn’t looking at it, because Sam is not a very good cameraman. But I suspect that the limitations of Minecraft would still leave me scratching my head if I had seen it. Dom can be heard to take damage, but that’s all the information I can give you.

Geode throws onto the operating table, which I’m beginning to suspect is more of an altar: Milk of the Innocent, Toilet Paper, Rare Crystals, and Hair of the Chosen One.

This apparently clones Taurtis, somehow, although there appears to still be only one Taurtis in the room.

Geode does not offer any explanation, he’s too busy being confused by Grian’s accent and not knowing what England is. I’m… also not entirely sure he knew what a clone is either, before Sam explained that he’s not Uncle Sam because some people can have the same name.

Oh also Google Docs tried to autocorrect “Geode” to “God” I just feel like you all should know that.

Episode 9 – INTERNET DATING!

I am now officially into New Territory, not covered by previous summaries!

They try to free Dom from the test tube and the stained glass texture SERIOUSLY bugs out.

There is. Ah. Some sort of. Sheep… cultist… possibly robot? In the hallway. It has some sort of… mechanical backpack on?

Apparently its name is Jorje the Special Goat. So this is what breaks me.

I don’t know why I’m so stuck on this, I’m usually great at stories where Things Just Happen.

Anyway, Jorje has a dire need to go to the computer room to talk to his girlfriend.

“Is your girlfriend single?” – Taurtis Minecraft, 2015

The gang try to convince Jorje to break up with his internet girlfriend and/or that his internet girlfriend is catfishing him, so that he will tell them what he knows about the Goat Murders.

Dom is just. Up on a rooftop, by the way. He keeps doing this.

It turns out that not only is Jorje’s internet girlfriend a real person, but they’re also a person of ambiguous gender and probably a furry, which are some pretty big plusses in my book. It seems like they didn’t know Jorje was Actually For Real A Goat, though.

But the boys do manage to get some information on the Goat Murders, so that’s nice. Apparently there’s some sort of Creature or perhaps a Beast underneath the soccer field at school.

“That there’s a Choopah Cobbler!” – Jorje

Actually he called it a “chuubakaabra” but potato, potato.

They tell Señor Loro about the chupacabra. Señor Loro hands them guns. Peachy. At least this time it’s Grian who accidentally shoots Taurtis.

Sam then shoots Taurtis on purpose.

There’s an item in Señor Loro’s vending machine called “Fully Cooked Ramen?” and I’m losing it.

Grian: “Hey, Mr. Principal! :) Your teacher gave us snipers! :) I don’t know what kind of circus you’re running here! :)”

Episode 10 – HUNTING A MONSTER!

Half the school is at this soccer field this feels so dangerous.

Taurtis is just shooting wildly.

Uhhhh. That there’s a Choopah Cobbler!

I promise I’ll stop saying “that there’s a Choopah Cobbler”.

Everyone tries to shoot at the chupacabra through a very narrow doorway. They mostly just end up shooting each other.

The chupacabra flees into the sewers. Dom is also in the sewers. He goes there to read.

They lose the chupacabra, briefly mistaking the creepy old man for it.

“Can I shoot him anyway? I reeeeeaaalllly wanna shoot him.” – Grian

Kurokuma: “Uh, you didn’t find any bodies, did you?” Grian: “Not yet!”

He doesn’t, in fact, shoot the creepy old man. Score one for morals, I guess. :/

Half the damn town is in these sewers.

They shoot at a “sugar dealer”, agree to say they were the chupacabra and call it a day. They then attempt to exit the sewers, which takes some time because whoever made the map didn’t account for the ways in which ladders interact with trapdoors in Minecraft.

They’ve emerged in a completely unfamiliar part of town, and it’s getting late, so Señor Loro suggests they stay in a hotel for the night, and WHY IS THE CREEPY OLD MAN AT THE FRONT DESK. Like, this place is swanky.

The old man makes a comment about setting up cameras in their rooms. Great note to end this part on.

Grian Trauma Count!

Deaths Witnessed:

Aftermath of 2 Goat Murders

Injuries Sustained:

Grian jokingly implied that he got his face caught in a blender once

Likely some bruises from wrestling Señor Loro

Shot in the leg by Sam, who was aiming for the chupacabra

Shot by Senior Loro, apparently on purpose?

Traumatic Events:

Sent, possibly on purpose, to a completely different country without any of the people he knew, and had to use his own money (all of it) to get back where he was supposed to go

Stalked and sexually harassed by a creepy old man (he keeps making comments about the characters’ legs). Also forced by his friends to actually speak to said creepy old man.

Vomited twice due to Sam and Taurtis being gross.

Punished for calling out his teacher’s incompetence and made to wrestle the guidance counselor.

Was handed a gun by one of his teachers again (and accidentally shot Taurtis), and brought on a monster hunt.

Geode’s Class is a traumatic event in itself.

Some pretty big numbers already, folks!

Something I think is interesting: before Grian arrives, both Sam and Taurtis are pretty vocally uncomfortable with Old Kurokuma, but as soon as Grian's with them, Kurokuma is suddenly "our friend who runs the panty shop", "Grian's Girlfriend", "Grian why are you uncomfortable, this is a completely normal schoolgirl, she said teehee".

I feel like I still need to chew on this a bit more to be able to actually say anything analytical about it, but it's definitely catching my attention.

Next Time...

"I'll do one post per school day," I say, and then they almost immediately stop going to school for an arc.

[boatem-probler]

WHOAAAAAAAA WE'RE HALFWAY THERE in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / You Are Here! / 9

Yes, that's right, with this batch of episodes, we are officially past the halfway point of this show! Well, I'm actually a little further than that, because I've been watching ahead, I've just been lazy about actually making these posts because I don't like updating the navigation on all of them.

We got a twofer this time, as Taurtis is once again not here. In these episodes, the boys finally go to the hospital, Sam is allowed to commit war crimes, and Sam and Grian return to the superstore.

This report contains mentions of: violence, guns, injury, brief transphobia, police/military brutality.

Previously on Tokyo Soul:

“THE MIND SLUGS HAVE ACTIVATED”

This Time...

Episode 28 – THEY ARE BACK!

Grian wakes Sam up to ask him if he heard Taurtis leave the house last night. Grian had heard Taurtis moving around and speaking “some weird language”, and assumed he was “having one of his clone episodes”, implying that this is something he does regularly, and had seen him walk out of the house. Apparently he usually comes back when this happens, but he didn’t this time, and Grian is concerned.

Grian: “He’s kind of like a little puppy, he’ll find his way home, right?” Sam: “Yeah, just like last time when he got deported or whatever and we found him outside the house.” Grian: “No, last time he died, remember?”

Jerry and Dom have replaced the TV with a potted plant.

There’s a Trump caricature named Tronald Drump at school. He’s campaigning for King of Japan. This is when I remember that this series is from late 2015/early 2016 and not from like, 2011.

The cop from before shows up at school, and says that someone named Okami told him to go get Sam and Grian and bring them to the police station.

The police station is lousy with SWAT team members. Okami, Silly, and Pufferfish Pete are waiting in an office.

They want to talk about the alien invasion. Grian is ecstatic that he’s being backed up on this. Pufferfish Pete also claims that Sam and Grian are “sleeper agents” and will be “leading the charge” against the aliens. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t actually know what a “sleeper agent” is.

Grian: “I’m sorry, what, I thought we were children.”

Grian does not like this one bit, so now it’s Sam’s turn to be ecstatic.

Episode 29 – KILL THE ALIENS!

They change into SWAT gear, and Sam attempts to shoot Grian “to test if the armor works”.

Sam keeps repeating that he is “leading the charge”.

Sam: “You gotta follow my command, okay, Grian?” Grian: “No, the last thing I’m gonna do, in a situation where guns are involved, is listen to you.”

They’re driven to a hospital, where Crab Man Carl gives them the rundown. There are “three or four” aliens hiding in the hospital, they may have “taken over the minds of civilians”. Sam correctly deduces that this means he’s allowed to kill whoever he wants.

He proceeds to stand in Carl’s breakfast and make a rambling movie speech.

Sam is dedicated to roleplaying Independence Day all over this hospital. Grian’s strategy is to just walk up to people and ask if they’re aliens.

Dr. Nurse MD works at this hospital in some capacity, and is getting very irritated at all these guys coming in and harassing the elderly patients.

An old lady starts floating randomly and someone shoots her. Everyone seems confused as to whether she was actually an alien or not. They also kill Tronald Drump for taking too long to answer the question “how many legs do humans have”. It is also unclear whether he was an alien or not. I’m pretty sure neither of them were. Nurse MD is now very angry.

Nurse MD: “I can give you an F.” Grian, pointing a gun at his face: “Do I look like I care?”

Sam: “Someone detain him! Can I get someone to detain that guy?” Grian: “And preferably stab him!”

Sam shoots an old man in the leg. Remarkably, this one is an alien, and pulls out a Giant Anime Sword. They retreat to the next floor and wait for the alien to come up the stairs.

Sam is having the time of his fucking life in this hospital, he’s like a badly trained herding dog just biting everyone’s ankles.

They kill the alien, but lose a SWAT guy.

They continue asking people “questions only humans would know the answer to”. Sam kills a guy for saying humans have two genders, although he seems to think “transgender” is a gender, so I’m not sure I can back him up on this one. Grian is just horrified that Sam killed another human.

They continue through the hospital, killing one more normal elderly woman and finding one more alien.

Episode 30 – DONT LET THEM GET AWAY!

Sam demands a report from Silly, who seems pretty rattled.

They kill that alien, and chase a third up to the hospital roof. They shoot her off, but she survives and gets away.

Sam does a headcount and figures they must have lost about four SWAT guys.

Also you can see the edge of the city where there’s just two big mountains and I don’t know why but it creeps me out a little. It’s the liminal space thing. They’re probably never gonna actually go to or do anything with those mountains, but they’re there on the map still. I dunno.

They bribe Dr. Nurse to stay silent with the credit cards they got from killing Drump.

Then they all go to Sushi Wushi to get coffee. They catch up and reminisce about the past, and all the murder that happened in it.

Sam: “You guys have problems, you know? I just wanna point that out. Everyone here, except for myself, clearly, has very serious mental problems.”

Episode 31 – ROBBERY!

We open on Sam and Grian pretending to watch the TV in Grian’s room. They’re pretending because the TV is broken.

Taurtis is still missing, so they go outside to start looking for him, but they don’t get very far because there’s a mobster outside their house.

The mobster informs them that if they want to see “their friend”, “the blue one”, again, they’ll need to deliver the money that Jin owes the mob. Jin apparently owes them 2 million yen, somehow.

Sam and Grian decide that in order to get this money, they’re going to rob the superstore they worked at for one day, just to really stick it to Jason.

They make it all the way to the store before they’re confronted by their utter lack of plan.

Luckily, there’s some random guy outside the store who happens to be selling alien heads! The perfect disguise!

The boys lead him into an alleyway and hold him at gunpoint, because they don’t actually have any money with which to buy the alien heads. They also take his money.

The actual robbery is kind of a shambles, given that Sam is still wearing his school uniform and both of them keep slipping up and calling each other by their actual names, but they are getting a lot of money, so it’s actually going pretty well… until the cops show up. This is now a hostage situation.

Grian keeps the cops outside by threatening to shoot one of the hostages, while Sam gets all the money out of the bank vault that the store just has.

Just as he’s coming out of the vault though, the cops start heading towards the entrance. Sam and Grian both actually do shoot the hostage, but it doesn’t help them any.

They are now officially in yet another shootout.

Episode 32 – SAVING TAURTIS!

Sam and Grian run up to the second floor, and Sam kills one of the cops. He’s also starting to get confused about whether this is real life or a video game, so Grian shoots him in the foot as a reminder.

Grian builds a dummy with one of the alien heads to distract the cops while they run into the boss’s office. They jump out the window and run out the front entrance. Sam kills another cop on the way out.

They stash their alien heads and some of their guns in a random house, but they get arrested anyway.

Crab Man Carl is disappointed in them.

The police once again have a deal for them: they will help the boys with their mafia problem, if the boys help them with their mafia problem. Or in other words, Grian will go meet up with the mafia while wearing a wire, while Sam and the cops hide out and “protect” him. Like, the cop explaining this put quotes around “protect”, those aren’t mine.

The wire, by the way, is extremely huge and conspicuous and looks a hell of a lot like a bomb. Grian’s mainly worried about how he’s going to explain it when the mafia inevitably notice it. His plan is to tell them he had a head transplant and/or he’s transitioning.

At the warehouse, Grian awkwardly tries to fish for incriminating information while Sam and the cops wander around the catwalks.

The mobsters are getting suspicious of Grian’s questions, so he tries to intimidate them and gets stabbed for his trouble.

Grian switches tactics and demands to see that Taurtis is alive, while Sam and the cops start taking out mobsters. Most of the mobsters get away once they reveal themselves though.

Once all the mobsters are gone, Sam and Grian hurry to the closet thing they saw Taurtis in, only to find… Jerry.

Then they actually try to go to the hospital for Grian’s stab wound, for once, but unfortunately the only person there is a cop who doesn’t actually work there. Needless to say, Grian does not get any help with his stab wound.

Grian Trauma Count!

Deaths Witnessed:

4 SWAT team members

2 old people

2 aliens

2 cops

A non-zero number of mobsters, sorry, I didn't keep count

1 hostage

1 transphobe

1 Tronald Drump

For a total of over 13 deaths!

Injuries Sustained:

Gunshot wounds

Stab wound

Traumatic Events:

Once again the military/police are making high schoolers do their jobs for them.

Friend who already died once goes missing for multiple days.

In more shootouts.

Coerced by the police to help them kill a bunch of mobsters.

Next Time... The Word "Splarging" Is Actually Said Out Loud

[boatem-probler]

It's Triple Feature Night in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / You Are Here! / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

There are THREE days in this report, because I was speeding through them so I could get to the Lizzie Episodes. Also Grian isn't in most of these ones, he's too busy being locked in the basement dungeon.

This report contains mentions of: slavery "jokes", death, violence, blood, stalking, sexual harassment.

Previously on Tokyo Soul:

ALL HAIL THE MOON LORD

This Time...

Episode 16 – BUY A TAURTIS!

I’m just gonna cut right to the chase – Sam is doing a full-on master-slave roleplay thing with the Taurtis clones, and it is not played as fetishy at all, even jokingly, it is really just. Slavery. It’s a whole thing. It’s not funny. The whole episode is sort of about it. Sorry.

Anyway, there are now four Taurtises, the new one is Taurissa. And there’s a Taurtis626 in the chat now? Coming back to this later because I think I figured it out. Taurtis00 found a sailor fuku in a barn and changed her name to Taurissa00. Trans rights. Taurtis69 is still Taurtis69, not the one who exploded, a different one. And Taurtis626 just showed up overnight. Everything clear now? Great!

Anyway Taurtis seems to be attracted to Taurissa.

Sam claims to not know where Grian is.

On the way to school, they find Jerry in the park. He’s another Taurtis clone, but sort of wall-eyed. Also he types in a manner that makes it clear he is meant to be stupid in an ableist caricature way.

Sam tries to auction off some of the Taurtis clones at school. Jamberite asks which ones are good for experimenting. I have no idea what is meant to be up with her.

Oh Geode’s smile is even wider now. But at least his eye is back.

Anyway he and Dr. Nurse MD each buy a Taurtis, before Señor Loro comes in to bust things up. Everybody scatters.

Except Nurse MD. Who apparently has DONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS BEFORE?? Señor Loro is talking to him like he’s an alcoholic. Eventually Nurse MD relents.

Anyway. The chupacabra fucking Got Tori. Sam chases him out of the school. Everyone goes back to the classroom to poke Tori’s head with sticks. Señor Loro walks in on this. He tells the class not to tell anyone this happened, because they “don’t have insurance”. He goes off to find a substitute teacher.

Sam and Taurtis decide that Jerry should be the substitute.

Episode 17 – JERRY THE TEACHER!

Jerry teaches the class about JerryKats. They are made out of Jerry and Cats, apparently.

“This is the most I’ve learned since we’ve been at this school, to be honest.” – Taurtis

Dr. Nurse makes Taurtis put on a sexy nurse outfit. He says he wanted to make Grian wear it. He also says it’s his fetish. Oh god and now Kurokuma’s here WHY. There is a limit to how much of this one guy on the internet can take, you know.

Anyway, basically, the “lesson” is Dr. Nurse MD letting this creepy old man harass Taurtis in front of the class.

After class, they run into Jorje the goat, and attempt to warn him about the chupacabra, but he’s more interested in flirting with Jerry. Señor Loro shows up and “confiscates” Jerry.

Today is swimming day in gym class! Time to see if all those Taurtis clones are still in the pool! They are not!

Episode 18 – TAURTIS IS DEAD!

They all go into the locker room to change. In Taurtis’s locker there is a note. Written by Taurtis. That he doesn’t remember writing. It says:

Taurtis is freaking the fuck out.

Taurissa claims she can’t get in the pool because she is having a baby.

Igbar is just having a great fucking time swimming.

In Professor Geode’s class, Sam and Taurtis attempt to glean clues from Geode’s behavior to help them figure out if Taurtis is really a clone. Unfortunately, Geode’s behavior is rather erratic, because today is Teacher Inspection Day!

Geode has prepared an entire decoy classroom that he hurries all the students into before Señor Loro shows up. Geode is suddenly wearing a chef’s outfit and pretending to be a teacher called Mr. Dayman. Señor Loro is completely fooled, much to Taurtis’s chagrin.

Then they all go back to Geode’s actual classroom, where Geode confirms that Taurtis is, in fact, a clone. But he’s also constantly backpedaling and trying to deny the existence of clones outright, and Taurtis is clinging onto this.

Geode takes a blood sample from Taurtis by hitting him with a knife.

They run into Jerry after school, who says that “the goat” is dangerous and scary.

Episode 19 – TEACHER CHUPA!

It’s a new day! Taurissa made salmon for everyone. Taurtis tries to eat a cactus. Taurissa explodes. Jerry takes this as a sign that their time has almost come and they’re all doomed. He says their “expiration date” is near, and they need an “antidote” that Professor Geode made. They figure they can ask Geode about it at school.

Outside, Jorje is trying to find Jerry. He’s also wearing a school uniform now. Sam and Taurtis tell him that Jerry expired while Jerry sneaks out the back door.

Jorje is already in the school lobby (lobby? Do schools have lobbies?) when they get there. He’s talking to the chupacabra, who is wearing a suit. He’s the new teacher. Unclear if Jorje recognizes him as the chupacabra, but Señor Loro definitely doesn’t.

The boys go to Geode’s classroom. Geode’s smile, somehow, is Even Wider now. He also disappears mysteriously.

The bell rings, and it’s time for Mr. Chupa’s class! It’s a History class, apparently. Also, the classroom is full of candles and cushions arranged in a wonky circle with a dead-looking bonsai in the middle of it, so I’m sure nothing weird at all will happen in this class.

Mr. Chupa leads the class in a meditation exercise. The meditation is mostly about Goats. Also Sam and Taurtis accidentally tell Jorje where Jerry is hiding.

Episode 20 – DR NURSE MD!

Nurse MD has decided to dedicate this class to teaching his students why they will all be terrible parents. They’re doing the thing where everyone has to take care of an egg, but in pairs, and also they’re encouraged to try to break other people’s eggs.

The eggs are actual Minecraft eggs. You can imagine how this goes.

Taurtis626 explodes at the back of the class and Sam literally Does Not Notice.

Jerry is pretending to be a potted plant.

Dr. Nurse MD literally has to come out into the hallway and GET THEM because none of them noticed Taurtis626 exploding. He just walks up and asks them to explain why his classroom is covered in blood. It's the funniest fucking thing.

They rush to Geode’s class again, where he very slowly tells them about the antidote. Taurtis69 explodes (again). The bell rings and Geode refuses to tell them anything else, because they need to go to gym class.

The gym teacher isn’t there. It turns out that Señor Loro hired Jerry as the replacement gym teacher.

Episode 21 – GEODE’S DUNGEON!

Jerry is having some difficulties controlling the class and fending off Jorje at the same time, so nothing has really been done by the time the bell rings.

Taurtis hurries them along to Geode’s class, because he can “feel his innards bubbling”.

Geode announces that the class is going on a field trip, and will be playing a game on the way there called “don’t get caught by Señor Loro”. They get caught by Señor Loro as soon as they step outside the school. Geode quickly puts on a ginger fake mustache.

Geode takes them to the dump, and tells them whoever digs the most will get a prize! Taurtis is convinced Geode took them to the dump because that’s where the antidote is.

Sam: “I mean, I really doubt he cares, at all.” Taurtis: “We’re his creations, Sam, of course he cares about us!”

Sorry Taurtis but I think I’m with Sam on this one, actually. Sentences I never thought I would say.

Taurtis immediately falls down a hole. At the bottom of the hole are, apparently, “a bunch of heads”. Sam jumps down to see. The heads don’t appear to be from anyone we’ve seen, but they sure are a bunch of heads.

Meanwhile, Igbar finds a “demon sword”.

Dom gets angry about everyone destroying his home, because apparently he lives at the dump now.

Taurtis continues to ask Geode about the antidote. Geode tells him that the antidote is “safe at home” in his vault.

Sam tunnels into Dom’s house, which is inside a hollowed-out trash heap.

Sam and Taurtis sneak out of class to break into Geode’s house. They bring Dom with them, because Dom is good at parkour and would therefore, they reason, also be good at breaking and entering. They also pick up Jerry on the way.

Geode’s house is very mad scientist-core, it’s got the beakers, the metal floors, the big test tubes, the whole shebang. The test tubes are each labeled “Test Subject [number] – Failure”. There’s also another container labeled “Samples of Taurtis’s Garbage”.

Taurtis opens up a manhole cover on the floor leading to a basement with At Least One Skull in it. Sam and Dom go down the ladder on the other side of the room. Taurtis is stuck in a cage. They all work to break down the cage door while Sam and Taurtis argue over whose fault this is.

Taurtis: “You know I love jumping down mysterious holes.”

They unlock a door in Geode’s office with a lever from their house that Taurtis had in his pocket. Inside is a block of coal labeled “The Perfect Taurtis”.

They go down a different ladder into a larger basement. There’s a big door with a bunch of levers next to it and a sign reading “Secret Taurtis Gloop Vault – password: 1”. There are also more Taurtis clones, and one Dom clone for some reason? They’re theorizing it was the milk. None of the Taurtis clones are moving, but the Dom clone is. He’s Dom3 according to the chat. They break him out. He and Dom immediately start flirting with each other.

Sam inputs the password into the vault and the door opens, revealing chests full of “Icky, Sticky, Taurtis Gloop”. Taurtis drinks a bottle. Jerry isn’t looking too hot. Geode has arrived to “take care of his children”. They all hide behind various Taurtis clones.

One of the clones apparently wants to take Geode on a date. Geode responds, “Why, of course, Chosen One”. So, that’s a thing that’s happening I guess.

Geode notices the gloop vault has been opened. Everyone bolts. Geode’s house is connected to a train station, so they’re able to hide there while Geode runs past them. Geode yells that he is going to inform his superiors.

Jerry doesn’t feel so good. Taurtis gives him a bottle of goop. Jerry’s head swells up, but nothing else happens. Apparently he was able to hold the explosion in, like a sneeze.

Back at home, Taurtis wonders if he has a number, and figures out by typing in the chat that he is Taurtis2.

STAR WARS SPECIAL!!

Since Pug already covered these episodes in this post, I don't focus too much on what's actually happening moment-to-moment, but more so the little details and the things related to the ongoing Tokyo Soul, uh, "plot". So my "summary" probably won't make a whole lot of sense if you haven't either read Pug's summary or watched the episodes yourself.

You know, I had assumed the Star Wars Day Special would have been posted on May the 4th, but no, it was posted on January 19th. Is this like one of those “Christmas in July” things?

Taurtis claims that “Grian used to always make us breakfast”. Not sure when this is meant to have happened, since they rarely eat on screen in either series, from what I’ve seen, and also they’ve been in Tokyo for Exactly One Week by my count, but maybe this is just one of those things where one of these kids will just fully make something up about another one of them.

Grian: “Do you know what he did???” Taurtis: “He’s done a lot of things…”

This is the funniest possible description of Sam to me. He’s done a lot of things.

Grian doesn’t know who Jerry is. He says he heard a bunch of Taurtises talking and then he “kinda went to sleep for a while”. He was there when they rescued a bunch of clones from the pool, so he knows about the clones, but the last time there were more than two Taurtis clones in the house was Yesterday Morning, which sort of implies that Grian has been Depression Napping for at least an entire day. Just thought you guys might want to know that.

Grian also asks if Sam named Jerry that because of “what happened to me”. This Kills The Man.

Grian has a very blasé reaction to being told that Taurtis is dead and the one walking around with them is a clone, but I guess there’s a lot going on in his life.

He also doesn’t really react to hearing that Tori was killed. I guess even if she was a pretty reasonable person they still didn’t do a whole lot in her class.

Taurtis wants to join the Stormtroopers because they’re all clones.

Just wanna point out that they’re learning to use the Force from the chupacabra. How the hell did the chupacabra learn how to use the Force?

Sam lost the egg he was supposed to be taking care of for Dr. Nurse’s class and goes looking around for one to “borrow”, which means we get to see inside Igbar von Squid’s locker! He has emergency breathing helmets, a gun named “Humie Hunter”, some raw fish, and some kind of crystalline thing named “Hyooman Souls”, so that’s interesting.

Okay why does Dr. Nurse suddenly want Geode dead I wasn’t under the impression he was part of this plotline. We’ll see if that actually sticks around past this special I guess.

Dr. Nurse: “Boys, I am trusting you, with all of my idiotic heart.” Taurtis: “There’s your first mistake.”

It’s occurring to me that aside from a couple remarks about not wanting to be in a cramped closet with him, Grian’s venom towards Dr. Nurse is still mostly about his intelligence/teaching skills. Which, like, makes sense since Grian wasn’t there for the whole… nurse outfit thing. But it’s still a little disconcerting to me.

Not sure why Geode is Jabba the Hutt suddenly, but okay. I mean. Star Wars Special is why, but. You know what I mean (I don’t even know what I mean).

Mr. Chupa fully eats a student. Will it last? Vote now on your phones.

Theory: everyone is being pushed by some cosmic force into playing the role of whatever Star Wars character they’re dressed as. Wouldn’t be the strangest thing that’s happened in this town. Definitely wouldn’t be the strangest thing that will ever happen in this town, we haven’t even gotten to Cthulu yet.

Also all the stormtroopers are Taurtis clones. Sam and Grian kill a bunch of them in the process of climbing an AT-AT.

We’ll also have to see if the principal stays dead after the special because they kill him too, because he’s Darth Vader or something.

They shove all the Taurtis clone Stormtroopers into the basement dungeon. They find Taurtis69’s diary in the process, which reveals that he dug the room out himself, and then later on Jerry decorated it. Sam goes inside to see for himself and Grian locks him in. Happy ending!

No Trauma Count This Time Because Pug Already Took Care of That

Something I'm thinking about. Taurtis is unavailable: Grian and Sam fuck around in a superstore for a couple episodes. Grian is unavailable: huge personal revelations. Out-of-story, it feels weirdly like Grian is still being considered as a "guest" character even though he's been on the show for a while now.

In-story though. Taurtis is Important, it's Important that Taurtis is There. But it's not quite as Important that it be the same Taurtis the whole time. In Sam's mind in Yandere High School, and now in the narrative itself in Tokyo Soul, there just has to be someone present who can fit in a Taurtis-shaped outline.

Idk. I'm Chewing On It.

Next Time... LIZZIE LIZZIE LIZZIE LIZZIE

[boatem-probler]

Grian, my guy, I'm not sure what you expected, in... Tokyo Soul!

1 / 2 / 3 / You Are Here! / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9

I was expecting to have to cover multiple days in this report, since this day is only two episodes, but then Professor Geode happened. Get ready for a whole lotta clone nonsense.

This report contains mentions of: guns, violence, blood, death.

Previously on Tokyo Soul:

That One Time 2027

Squid Erotica

Chop Chop

This Time...

Episode 14 – ASSASSINATION!

We start with Grian punching Sam awake. Sam is asleep at the kitchen table for some reason, the sushi has FINALLY been cleared away, and Grian is hungry.

Sam still hates Jason, and despite Grian pointing out that they quit the superstore and don’t have to talk to him anymore, Sam argues that they should get rid of him anyway, because he threatened to sue them and also Sam doesn’t like him.

Just then, they’re interrupted by someone calling them from outside! It’s Taurtis!

Taurtis has been wandering around the city trying to find his way back to the house for “like three days”, AND someone stole his wristbands. He also is very confused when Sam and Grian tell him they thought he got deported.

The three bemoan their lack of food other than KitKats, and Dom, who is sitting in a chair on the neighbor’s roof, kindly throws a bagel down at them.

Sam informs Taurtis that they’ve decided to kill Jason. Grian reluctantly agrees, on the basis of “he ruined our lives, and we’ve only been here a few days”. Taurtis just wants to take a nap, but Sam insists he help.

Sam at some point snuck into Senor Loro’s office and stole his guns. Grian, although he agreed to the murder, did NOT know about or agree to the guns, and is in fact very against them. Taurtis proves Grian’s fears right when he immediately starts shooting up the house.

Grian is just desperately trying to get Sam and Taurtis to be a little bit quieter when they talk about assassinating people, since they are in witness protection. Taurtis is convinced that everyone outside is Jason, and shoots one in the arm.

Sam is SO bad at explaining to Taurtis why they hate Jason, like he’s making it sound like they’re just butthurt Jason was more competent than they were, and like, yeah, they kinda are, but listen, that fucker could teleport. Sam is NOT mentioning that that fucker could teleport. Still no reason to shoot him, but there is a lot more to this story than Taurtis has been informed of.

Sam and Grian hide behind a streetlight outside the superstore while Taurtis goes in to talk to Jason.

Taurtis is waylaid outside by two girls who compliment his headphones. Apparently he wears them so he can listen to music while his friends are talking.

Taurtis decides he wants to buy an umbrella, Jason decides to sell him a Gamecrab U. Grian insists Sam has a clear shot, but Sam, in a rare moment of restraint, points out that there are too many witnesses.

They decide to follow Jason as he’s leaving the store. Grian continues to egg Sam on to shoot. It should be pointed out that Grian hasn’t actually attempted to shoot Jason himself, only told Sam he should do it, but he does sound, as Sam points out, a little bloodthirsty.

Grian: ”I HATE JASON. Almost as much as I hate Dr. Nurse MD. I don’t hate anyone as much as I hate Dr. Nurse MD.” Sam: “Wait, would you kill Dr. Nurse?” Grian: “No, I would torture him.”

Meanwhile, Jason makes a donation to the comic store and asks out Yee. He buys her flowers. They decide to go to a coffee shop… which happens to be on the second floor of the building the boys are hiding in. They scramble to get more hidden.

Sam and Grian put glasses on, so they can follow Jason into the coffee shop In Disguise.

After a while in the coffee shop, Jason and Yee decide to head to Yee’s house.

Episode 15 – TAURTIS SLAVES!

Just so you’re aware, the girl who was the server at Sushi Wushi way back in episode 1 (Jamberite I think?) has also been trailing Jason this whole time, with a knife, and she seems to be wearing some sort of tactical gear? Also Taurtis pulled a gun on her last episode. No idea if any of this will turn out to be relevant, but I think it contributes to the Ambiance.

Jason finishes walking Yee home. Sam, Grian, and Taurtis jump into some bushes across the street. Yee moves away from the door. Sam jumps out and starts yelling at Jason before shooting him in the leg.

“I didn’t think you were actually gonna shoot him!” Grian yells. I don’t know why he would think this, given Sam’s history, and also given that Grian was the most vocally enthusiastic about shooting Jason, but he sounds genuinely shocked and distressed. Interesting!

Jason starts running away. Sam shoots at Jason again, but Taurtis runs into the line of fire, ending up getting shot himself. This happens three times.

Grian has also started shooting at Jason now. He lands a shot.

Sam has started laughing evilly. Grian tells him this has gone too far. Jason runs into the school building.

Taurtis: “Dude, do you want another haunted school? Cause this is how you get another haunted school.”

Sam threatens to kill Jason and wear his face. Grian has started repeatedly telling Sam to stop.

Then they all get distracted by the disconcerting amount of chains and trash in the school, which hadn’t been there the last time they’d been in the building.

They continue following Jason’s trail of blood up to the rooftop (Grian: “Oh, no, not another rooftop”).

Wait. Pause the killing. There are Two Taurtises on this roof.

Taurtis69 says: “SAM! HELP ME! THEY’RE KILLING US, SAM.”

Taurtis69 promptly explodes. Jason gets the hell outta there. Also, there’s some sort of green laser coming from the pool building.

Grian and Sam are now unsure if the Taurtis they’ve been with all day is the “real Taurtis”. They hold him at gunpoint and decide to ask him a question only Taurtis would know the answer to: What is Sam’s favorite comic book? Grian helps him answer (it’s Hunter x Hunter).

Grian is certain that Jason is going to tell the police they were trying to kill him. Sam thinks this is Grian’s fault for not being all-in.

There are now Taurtises hanging from the chains.

They enter the pool room. There are MANY Taurtises floating in the pool. There is also a huge device hanging over the pool, emitting the green laser beam. And in a throne on top of the machine, there is Professor Geode, surrounded by Taurtis heads and wearing Taurtis’s wristbands, still grinning. He now appears to have only one eye.

Also, his name in the chat is now Professor Taurtis Rocks. He’s been waiting for them.

Taurtises begin moving along a conveyor belt inside the machine, towards the part that’s emitting the laser. Taurtis (the one who is actually voiced by Taurtis) breaks the glass to let a couple of them out.

Something to note: while the many Taurtises appear to be drowning in the pool, Sam, Grian, and Taurtis!Taurtis can actually just walk right over to the machine. The water doesn’t really look like water.

Geode is wearing a mask of Taurtis’s face, made out of Taurtis’s face. There is blood on it.

Taurtis frantically flips a lever back and forth, trying to turn the machine off. Professor Geode tells them it’s powered by the moon. And then starts chanting “ALL HAIL THE MOON LORD”.

Taurtis tries to command Geode to turn the machine off, on the off chance that he is the Moon Lord. Geode seems confused for a moment, but then says that he is “false”.

Taurtis just starts breaking the machine, and the pool water goes back to normal, plunging Sam and Grian into it. The Taurtises start really drowning.

Jason shows up with a ladder to help Sam and Grian get out, and then they and Taurtis start trying to rescue the other Taurtises. They manage to get… some of them. Geode is still confused, yelling for the “chosen one” as the boys run away.

Geode is following them with some sort of sharp implement in hand, Taurtis tries to shoot him but hits Sam in the confusion. Eventually though, Geode breaks off, saying he’ll see them in class.

Jason was just Also With Them this whole time they were running, but now he’s not.

The boys remember Geode taking some of Taurtis’s hair, and figure that must mean all these other Taurtises are clones. Sam wants to lock all the clones in the cellar. Taurtis doesn’t like this. Sam’s new plan is to enslave the Taurtis clones.

As they get back to their house, the girl across the street is filming them, so Grian confiscates her phone.

Then they attempt to figure out which Taurtis is the “real Taurtis”. All the Taurtises think they are. Sam keeps insisting they have to shoot one. He pulls his gun. One of the Taurtises pulls his gun, and Sam and Grian realize that there’s only one Taurtis who got handed a sniper rifle today. Except, somehow, they all have snipers.

Taurtis00 has an idea: how about they kick out all the not-Taurtises?

Also I forgot to say Taurtis69 is here too, but I guess a different one? I dunno man. Also, there was like a whole pack of Taurtises running out of the school with them, and now they’re down to three, and I have no idea when or how that happened.

“If they’re all perfect replicas of Taurtis, surely it doesn’t matter which ones we kill. Because we’ll get one in the end,” says Grian. They are very obviously not perfect replicas, but sure, whatever helps you sleep at night.

After a whole lot of faffing about, Sam and Grian finally realize that two of these Taurtises have numbers, and one of them does not.

Then Sam gets too confused and just starts shooting indiscriminately. He hits a couple of the Taurtises, and also Grian.

Eventually they decide to just keep all the Taurtises. Grian protested for a while, on the basis that they don’t have enough room or enough food, and that he doesn’t trust anything Professor Geode made, but he relents.

They decide to put the Taurtises in an abandoned house. Also, Sam is very insistent that clones are not people. Taurtis69 gets to stay in the actual house though, because he’s the most agreeable.

Also, Sam accidentally shoots Grian AGAIN.

Grian: “Can I just point out how weird this is? Just for one sec?”

Trauma Time!

Deaths Witnessed:

At least one Taurtis clone for sure, but probably a lot more.

Injuries Sustained:

Shot twice.

Traumatic Events:

Got a little too bloodthirsty and egged Sam on into a murderous rage (he didn’t succeed in killing the guy, but did shoot him several times and there was a lot of blood).

Everything about Professor Geode and his machine.

Also, he didn’t eat anything all day except for KitKats and coffee, which come to think of it might explain the bloodthirst.

Next Time... Y'all Remember Jerry? He's a Real Boy Now.

[boatem-probler]

this is actually the only explanation of tokyo soul you need