#ahh thts hard remember us

[melissa-titanium]

this is probably way too oversharey for tumblr but i just wanna say strangers r so kind. i have so many memories of scary situations with my mom in public where people stepped in to help me or calm me down and its like. they could hv ignored me & went on with their day but they didnt!!! one of the things tht makes me feel good about People . a particular instance that always stood out to me so much was when my mom was so drunk she couldnt stand & i was crying so hard i couldnt breathe & we ended up having 2 get a taxi bcos. new york city. none of my family had a car to pick us up. and when we got to the apartment this taxi driver got out & helped little 8 year old me lead her up the stairs & into the apartment. she was too out of it to pay & he didnt even ask about it and waited until we were inside b4 leaving and like. i dont know! he didnt even know me or my situation but people rarely dont do something when they see something happen. i dont know. ill probably delete this in the morning if i remember i just think about this alot. im grateful 2 be in a much safer situation now & grateful for everyone who helped me get here. ahh. anywuas look at my aunts cat

[wincore]

AGREEEE, WORKING OVER THE WEEKEND IS THE WORST esp since im in uni full time and i work 9-5 on the weekends which means... no breaks for me ever.. 🥲

MASSIVE CRUSH ON OIKAWA OMGGG I SUPPORT THIS!!!!! but i am unfortunately much older than 15 and still enamored by 2d men 😔 life’s rough like that HDJWKDJ YES ATSUMU CAUSES PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.. HES THE WORST!! btw.. ive heard that the oikawa to atsumu stan pipeline is very real... so if u get to s4.. u may develop atsumu brain rot like me 👁_👁

OOO alright run on, extracurricular, vincenzo, true beauty, love alarm, & perfect crime. NOTED!! ive actually been meaning to watch extracurricular for a while now, it looks so interesting!! now that it has the wincore seal of approval i must watch 😤 OMGG SAKURADA DORI I SAW HIM IN ALICE IN BORDERLAND!! super good show but really gore heavy at some points 👁

ahh ok thank u for the reccs, ive been thinking about starting demon slayer too!! shoplifters sounds really interesting :oo crime??? i havent watched a full movie in a while so i will def check it out!! THESE R ALL GOING IN MY NOTES APP.

NEXT YEARRR omg it sounds far away but i know time passes so quickly nowadays so I WILL WISH U LUCK ONCE AGAIN 💛 i hope u update us when the time comes!!

UGHWHHD EVEN THIS SYNOPSIS IS MAKING ME MISS UR WRITING?!? I LOVE THE WAY U WORD IT... “given a choice to pretend, you find that jaehyun is the lesser of the two burdens to bear” AHHHHHHH omg “he’s in a relationship and doesn’t rlly care about the soulmate system” THIS IS ALWAYS SUCH A PAINFUL SCENARIO IN SOULMATE AUS PLSS!!! Wait is the soulmate of yn gonna be an oc/vague character or another member :O EITHER WAY... PAIN! THIS IS GETTING ME SO EXCITED AND U HAVENT EVEN MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT JAEHYUN’S LIKE IN THIS FIC YET

RUNWAY CHARACTER CAMEOOOS YESS I LOVE RUNWAY YN!!!! i actually reread it last night and ugh i was reminded how much i love yns personality... just the process of experiencing all tht self doubt with them!!! so real & makes u root for them :’)

“if jeno plays edward i need him to that apple scene like taemin did” WHHHHHWJDJJWJDBW THIS MADE ME CHOKE ON THE WATER I WAS DRINKING LMFAO

GODDDD THESE TROPE/MEMBER PAIRINGS, HARD AGREE HARD AGREE!!! HAECHAN AND RENJUN ARE E2L 100%!!!! i think bc the ppl in the bff2l category cant convincingly hate yn back LOL

“gets complimented on his lyricism often but like every song’s about you” STOPPPPP HES SO PERFDCT FOR THIS TROPE!!!!!

OMG I SEE EXACTLY WHAT U MEAN ABT SICHENG IN ROYALTY/CHAEBOL AUS... i think like u said it’s because of his poise & the way ppl are generally in awe of him but also bc of his reluctance to open up!! more reserved until he trusts u... funny and kind but sometimes perceived as aloof... those r some prince tendencies! “what are corporate businesses but modern day kingdoms” LMFAOOWJDJ SERIOUSLY THO

“mans really said i will not give you any onscreen idol personality to work with” HDJWJDJWJSJ LITERALLYYYY this is why i have trouble reading jaehyun fics sometimes bc sometimes they can feel “inaccurate” but its mostly just bc there’s no Standard Personality Stereotype to go off of. but a random & uncommon trope i think he’d pair well with is exes to lovers!! Yes im basically just a jaehyun + angst advocate.

“i think most of them would pair well with bff2l??” FACTTTTTTT and no im not just saying this bc its one of my favorite tropes.. heh... i think i told u this before?? but ur like the main reason i started enjoying e2l!!! i didnt like it before bc i love the PINING in bff2l but then i started reading ur works n was like OH SHIT! THERES LOADS OF PINING HERE TOO...

i think yangyang is not bff2l or e2l, he is in his own category which is Annoyer2Lover HDJWKDJ ex: troublemaker, wasted nights

OMGGGG I DID NOT EXPECT ROYALTY AU TO HAVE SUCH A LARGE LEAD IN THE SURVEY??? and cryptids is so low 😔😔 cmon guys, vampires r fun!!!

WE R LITERALLY WRITING ESSAYS TO EACH OTHER RN BUT I LOVE IT 🥺🥺 its a such a nice break to read ur response when im burnt out from studying!!

OMG IM GOING THROUGH #moonwrites AND IM LITERALLY AN IDIOTTTT IVE BEEN OFF TUMBLR FOR SO LONG I DIDNT REALIZE THAT ROMEO ROULETTE HAD A PREVIEW OUT????

“And I get what out of this?” “Me?” IM IN LOVE WITH THIS CHARACTERS PERSONALITY ALREADY LMFAOO

“—and when this whole game you’re playing is over, you’re going to say I rejected you.” ?!?!???? THE WAY JAEHYUN IS A LITTLE SHIT! THEIR PERSONALITIES ARE BOTH SO FUN PLSJWJDJEJ IM MORE EXCITED NOW!!

pls disregard the part in my last ask where i asked abt romeo roulette.... i had no idea all of the information i needed was sitting right in front of me 😔😔

- tata

WHAT 9 TO 5 ON EVERY WEEKEND???? the system has failed you this honestly feels like a villain origin story 😭 when does it get better???

ALSO let me answer the other asks separately for better readability lol we really out here writing essays GOOD THING i have practice writing but like. this is infinitely better to write 🥰

PLSSS SOMETIMES I WILL SEE AN EDIT/TIKTOK OF OIKAWA AND BE LIKE DAMN I REALLY NEED TO CATCH UP I MISS THIS MF also are you daring me to ruin my life for 2d men bc i will do it without hesitation. wait till i watch hq again and get that atsumu brainrot with you he seems annoying enough for me to like ^_^

AND YES PLS I WAS SO ABSORBED IN IT!! extracurricular was the most gripping show i’ve watched in a while like yes enough teen romance give me two unhinged teenagers doing crime 🤩 AND OMG??? THAT’S WHERE WE SAW HIM TOO and although niragi was literally vomit-inducing human trash, sakurada dori is like. a good actor. except i hated coffee&vanilla which starred him it was literally so cringe i couldn’t 😭 i blame the writers for that though. IM EXCITED FOR S2 OF ALICE IN BORDERLAND THO i really like horror (and i can tolerate gore if ive been desensitized enough) and like i read the manga too!!! the games were really interesting (although morbid).

😭😭 MY NOTES APP IS FULL OF RECS FROM FRIENDS ALL OF THEM HATE ME FOR NOT WATCHING THE SHOWS BUT LIKE. i binge 3 or 4 at a time and strike them off and then go 6 months without watching a single tv series hhh.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I SURE WILL UPDATE !!! it’s so exciting to think about grad school sometimes :33

AHHH IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE IT AND THE PREVIEW TOO SGSDJKDS there’s a few differences in the actual fic i think bc i changed up the language (and i dont remember what else bc i refuse to look at my writing) JAEHYUN RLLY IS A LITTLE SHIT he’ll be like hm yeah im pretty chill :) and then proceed to beat yn at her own game at times. (she wins mostly dw) the fact that i made her soulmate cha eunwoo like girl if i were you i’d crash their relationship 🥱 (jk) but like. jaehyun too is 🤩 despite being dry af

ASDKDSKDS YOU REREAD ALL (ALMOST) 19K WORDS ??? IM SO GLAD YOU LIKE THAT FIC SM AAAAHHH IM FEELING LIKE AN ACTUAL AUTHOR 🥰 i loved runway yn too they were like boss attitude with 20% anxiety.

LOOK JENO BETTER BE PULLING MOVES LIKE THAT TO IMPRESS THE GIRLS 😤 if he hits himself in the forehead with the apple, bonus points bc that was true comedy (as invented by taemin)

AND YES. LIKE I KNOW MARK HATED DONGHYUCK SO MUCH HE WANTED TO LEAVE SM BUT LIKE HE’S TOO NICE WITH EVERYONE ELSE 😭😭😭 i cannot picture him pissed off apart from that summer fight </3

thinking about dejun getting rejected by a girl he wrote a song for. rip brother.

IM GLAD YOU PUT THAT INTO WORDS BC THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IT IS!!! he’s got all of these regal qualities but he’s still human ykyk so it makes for the most amiable person on earth 😌 i love this characterization of him!!

oof exes to lovers with jaehyun... i had a similar idea a while ago (with theme song sincerity is scary by the 1975) that i discarded bc i don’t think i’m cut out to write that 😭 (YET) so i will keep this is mind. u r so right about jaehyun feeling inaccurate bc it’s like he’s very mild in personality onscreen sometimes?? so him having strong personality traits makes me go 🤔🤔 that man is overreacting. (jkjk but like you get the idea)

WAIT RLLY OMG BC OF ME???? i would never enjoy e2l irl bc irl dudes are 🤢🤢 and if they annoy me i will end them. but in fiction the mutual pining and initial disgust at yourself for liking the other??? helllooo 🤩🤩🤩 especially if it’s in a romcom style <3 bff2l is also better in fiction bc if the relationship doesnt work out irl and the person become uncomfortable with me i will just get annoyed jskshdl

LMAO YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT YANGYANG HE’S JUST THAT™ DUDE skgkhs he feels like someone fun to hang out with but he would annoy you the whole time. also he is cute 🥰

AND EXACTLY!!!! IM HAPPY FOR ROYALTY AUS BUT CMON. LOOK AT THOSE VAMPIRE TEETH. feel like media ruined vampires for people 😔 

THIS IS SUCH A NICE BREAK FROM STUDYING HONESTLY!!!! im like working on two semi-large projects AND studying course and out-of-course material simultaneously so my brain is a little fried. thank u for this 😘

[flowerkth]

If you could only use one word or phrase to describe each of your mutuals, what would you choose?

i love this!!! thank u anon💓

@wildflowerofmine - ur so caring n ur always there for me i rly appreciate it!! thank u for being my study bud, i would nOT be able to do it without u (also we’re jus gonna pretend u dont spend half the time teasing me)

@gukniverse - my twin!! im rly rly glad i met u, u always hype me up and also ur super caring n it doesnt go unoticed

@vante-love - ur always so sweet to me nessie n i love tht we mutually die over taehyung

@ppersonna - hilarious n CUTE u make me laugh so hard but ur also the sweetest??? i cry

@exoticarmyofcrowns - ur so lovely asha, whenever u pop up in my notifs it always makes me smile!!

@seokjinssi - tenri ur the cutest, ur tags make me laugh bc relatable lmao!! i rly love seeing u on my dash

@heavyinmyarms - paula ur rly funny, i always remember the tag where u thought u had to draw something djskkd i love seeing u on my dash :)

AHH i wanna do more of these!!!

[kkukkung]

Im crying in the school bathroom rn I seriously love wonho so much I'm in pain why is he my ideal guy in every way he's so amazing and handsome and sweet but whO CARES BEVause he don't kno me haha am I right

big mood all the time im always in pain bc he rly................ doesn’t KNOW i would let him shave off my eyebrows if he wanted 2

tardy replies as usual under the cut!

(sorted from oldest to newest)

I wouldn't even care if wonho was a high maintenance boyf tbh I'd just sit and comb his hair all day and tell him he's pretty

hdjkfh this was so long ago but i think i was mostly kidding abt him being a high maintenance bf... like he would do so much giving? but i guess the only thing he’d need is constant reassurance that his s/o loves him imo jfdhgjk... i also think he’d b someone who either doesn’t settle down ever or does it very late in his life!

annie 🌹literary queen ❤️ literally crowned with a laurel wreath! not be drum attic but this midsummer nights monsta au is so!!!! give me sistar as the four star crossed lovers then drag me to h*ll and give me this doctor faustus au i'm itching for with kihyun as faustus and k.will as mephistopheles bc i love to watch my faves s*ffer but don't let me rip until i get my much ado about nothing au with the entire cast of starship ent and a lil cameo from giriboy!

(in refence to this monsta x as shakespearean archetypes ask!) fjdshgkjs shh i lov u... why is k will as mephistopheles so Accurate esp no.mercy k will lmao. um u should write all of these? in fact if... if anyone has mx literary aus.... hmu...... i’ll n*t

another thing about that incident is that it seems like the fan doesn't think Changkyun and Jooheon undersood them?? (an extension i guess they assumed they don't understand english very well) and that's pretty problematic. it seems to me that when they didn't respond the fan assumed they didn't understand and kept repeating it, as a joke. but they literally did That to the two with the most proficient english in the group... it's rly a mess all around. it's disrespectful through and through

(in relation to that gross “d*ddy” incident from a while ago) ik i feel like some intl fans think korea is a land completely culturally and linguistically alienated/divorced from the rest of the world or something and while cultural relativism is real to some extent... the idea that koreans are completely unaware of ~outside~ things is deeply racist. like mostly white ppl think that diasphoric poc are completely Different from them? when my mum went to the states 15 years ago some ppl literally asked her if there were newspapers in china lol...

i just randomly thought of monsta x as sesame street characters mostly bc i wanna see kihyun and wonho duke it out as bert and ernie (kihyun w/ the waste paper bin on his head and wonho asking 'where's the waste paper bin' and kihyun saying 'ask me that again and look into my eyes') and also minhyuk being elmo tbh...

JKGHKJDF PLEASe!!!! when will something like this b photoshopped... minhyuk as elmo is... spot on... i remember once elmo appeared on a now-discontinued late night talk show program i used to watch when i was in primary school and he was like “elmo likes wasabi, that’s why elmo has no eyebrows” and idk why ive never been able to forget this????? very lmh. also this made me think of a monsta x muppets au n minhyuk is the pic of ass-gape kermit.... next post of mine will b monsta x as kermit reaction pics

Hyungkyun is such an under appreciated ship. Like, they just get each other so well? Why do people overlook it. ㅠ.ㅠ Do you have a moment that made you ship them? How would you describe their dynamic?

it’s bc they’re intp x intj they don’t rly... Understand each other with minimal effort/real communication lmao it’s very efficient. both quiet lil darlings who aren’t emotionally That Open but enjoy their own little space together sometimes?? their dynamic is like... they’re weird in different ways but they’re v chill together. u can tell hyungwon is super fond of changkyun like he has this Expression when ck does anything at all.... i think these two rly love each other’s personalities bc they’re both kind/gentle/peaceful types and their overall ?? vibe is just highly compatible... they’re absolute darlings... v soft together... i can’t think of a favourite moment but i rly rly love their birthday messages for each other last year like changkyun’s message for hyungwon was like “ur rly cool bruh ur rly such a great person” and hyungwon’s message for changkyun was rly... just him obviously doting on him n finding him cute jksfdhg i lov them a lot :(

soyou: i know how to make hair pretty :))) knetz: dirty fckn iljin why can't she be out there being being PRODUCTIVE in society by having babies and learning how to be a good wife for her future husband ://// smh how dare she be successful now when i'm stuck doing what society wants me to do but also anonymously attacking ppl i don't personally know on the internet bc THATS respectable the irony of ugly knetz is so transparent

The whole thing about Knetz and wonho's "scandalous" past reminded me of something. As a PSA to those people who are so insistent and pushy that idols aren't allowed to have sex/date/be anything but straight: Fuck all of you. You do not own these people, and if you really cared about them you'd be happy if they were happy. Like tbh, if anyone that famous and busy could also balance out a relationship at the same time, I'd be so happy for them. It really bugs me how all idols are supposed (1/2)(2/2) have this squeaky clean innocent image where they have to look and act a certain way and have these stupid fucking dating bans because once they don't meet up to that image their success suffers. Idols already give up so much privacy, and the last thing they need is millions of people scrutinizing every little thing they do. I don't even know where I started this rant from, but basically, GIVE IDOLS PRIVACY AND DONT JUDGE THEM FOR THEIR PASTS OR FOR BEING IN RELATIONSHIPS OR WHATEVER

yeth ty for highlighting the gross obsession w purity and productivity (like the first anon said -- a very confucian sort of ideal)... i don’t rly have anything else to add here i think. also i would fight for soyou i fact i would fight lmh who said she was his ideal type in no.mercy era... she’s rly one of my faves and the way she was slandered for the hairdressing thing was one of the most ridiculous things knets ever did lmao honestly yuk

u a kihyun stan now👀👀👀

im a @fhiz​ stan it’s the same thing tbh

ahh so i saw your tags on that jh gifset! as one of the few jh stans (or maybe there are way more than i think there are lol) i rly love his "reversal charm." he has a lot of what i lack as a person: a strong presence and a lot of confidence! i respect him so much as a person alth i rag on him a lot LMAO. sorry if this is a bit long winded but i just rly wanted to put this out there ;;

this is rly cute i lov hearing ppl talk abt their faves lovingly it rly... Heals Me. i think it’s strange how underappreciated jooheon is in this fandom especially bc he’s usually the one who catches ur eye first bc he’s so hyped by starship as being a one-in-a-million talented rapper u know? and he rly shines in mvs and no.mercy but............. y does he have the least fansites jkfhdg ?? you’re v right abt the reversal charm thing but i feel like sometimes it’s very overdone like... on lots of shows he’s asked to do aegyo when rly he should be asked to... idk... rap or dance or something?? i actually think jooheon is the most serious member of monsta x sometimes bc he seems to have a sense that he’s.. the pillar of mx if that makes sense? and that’s why he’s always pushing himself and working tirelessly like he feels very Responsible for this group, more than anyone else. idk if that makes sense!!! i love him and i want him to... unwind a bit bc sometimes he looks so stressed and tired but he still feels the need to pretend to be energetic like my heart rly hurts for him :/ this got so emo im sry i do rly love to hear that u respect him sm i love jooheon stans :(

i can see what u mean about jooheon being 1 of the most masculine. (iirc u also talked abt kihyun being that in a post a while ago) like with his face and his physique he really is striking; his body=like that slim,upside-down Y that you'd learn to draw men w/ in Anatomy 101 , but i think.. ,--not that u asked, but,, i think the jury's still out on if he's comfortable w his masculinity with the way he acts feminine lyk misogynistic comedians Can sound like dead ringers for women,? idk & i take +

(not sure if there was a 2nd part to this? there’s nothing else in my inbox so i’m sry if there was and tumblr ate it) yeth i think i meant that his demeanor is the most ~~masculine~~ whereas i think kihyun is still the most... idk... mature-masculine?? if tht makes sense, and i definitely agree w u on that second point! i didn’t think of that at the time but now that i... do... think abt it... ur right and also the way he comes back from it by putting on the >swag demeanor again in an attempt to polarise it is definitely a bit 👀👀👀 he probably doesn’t want to risk his Manly Rapper Image for real u kno? that said it’s ingrained in kpop that behaving cute --> “girly” entails that sort of “comedic” high-pitched voice + compact body language etc.... like i’m not condoning that ofc but i definitely think it’s broader than this particular case! :/ hm

maybe i'd be doing better in school if i could major in kihyunology ;~; i stan him but i def think we still don't know much about him even after all this time after debut. especially when i look at him compared to wonho who wears his heart on his sleeve (bless him i love wonho sm, gotta protect this bun at all costs!!)...but ya it just makes me wanna learn more about him like who is the real kihyun??

i want to write a kihyun meta when i have time... i feel like i Get him a bit more these days but it’s also very hard to put into words bc u kno when u kinda sorta mb get some1 but it’s a feeling rather than anything conveniently expressable gkjdhfjk.... idk if anyone wants to send in some Kihyun Thoughts + Meta feel free! :>> i don’t think he’s actually... as complex as we sometimes make him out to be lol like his behaviour is actually kind of predictable? more on his later

wait is the february comeback actually true? ugh i'm so conflicted cuz on one hand i'm excited if there's really gonna be a full length album, but i also think they need more rest but then there's the matter of getting their first win and idk i'm super psyched but i'm also worried that the boys are being overworked

i still feel like they had a comeback like yesterday lol like looking at their schedules stresses me out bc they do so much..... im glad wonho got to go to his mum’s cafe recently tho! all we can do is have faith in them rn and when it’s time... stream, buy things if ur able to, spread the news and the hype etc. i am definitely Worried abt some things like the competition they’re up against but.... gotta have faith u kno... and i feel like all active idols are kind of... permanently worked very hard but i think currently only jooheon and shownu are a bit Overloaded. also has the date been confirmed yet... it’s february already...

[selfsustainability-blog]

[24/10/2018, 18:47:33] donSELZ: so taking care of yourself enough that you are able to take cate of others [24/10/2018, 18:47:42] donSELZ: care* [24/10/2018, 18:49:12] Ella: Yeah kind of But I don’t think take care is the right wording but it’s along those lines I just don’t know the right words now ahah [24/10/2018, 18:49:51] donSELZ: yea, it's just cause what we are talking about is essentially self care [24/10/2018, 18:50:25] donSELZ: and the idea that we have to take care of our own situation before we are able to extend ourselves to others [24/10/2018, 18:50:46] Ella: Yeah [24/10/2018, 18:51:45] donSELZ: i remember Jihye was talking about how that might be seen as selfish/unkind and not wanting to compromise being the compassionate person that she wants to be/is [24/10/2018, 18:52:34] donSELZ: but we shouldnt be compassionate to other people at the expense of our selves [24/10/2018, 18:52:57] donSELZ: we have to be compassionate and kind to ourselves first [24/10/2018, 18:53:32] donSELZ: but also just as much as we should be kind and compassionate to others [24/10/2018, 18:54:35] Ella: Yes and I think when I say take care of others it’s more of a help others be self sustaining so helping them find the tools and stuff that work for them that help them be self sustaining [24/10/2018, 18:54:49] Ella: Mentally and physically [24/10/2018, 18:54:52] donSELZ: yeah, i fot thT [24/10/2018, 18:54:54] donSELZ: that* [24/10/2018, 18:54:57] donSELZ: got* [24/10/2018, 18:55:09] Ella: Okay cool I think that is better working than take care [24/10/2018, 18:55:19] donSELZ: okie doke [24/10/2018, 18:55:26] Ella: Wording [24/10/2018, 18:55:28] donSELZ: i use care because even though that is specific to you [24/10/2018, 18:55:56] donSELZ: care is more general so it includes and relates to what everyone in the group is talking about [24/10/2018, 18:56:09] Ella: Ahh yeah that makes sense [24/10/2018, 18:57:24] Ella: And I think the potential unkindness of being selfish is a real fear/anxiety of many people [24/10/2018, 18:58:44] Ella: I guess that there are ways to counteract it in life where you try and communicate with people around you as best you can so that they understand and don’t just think you are being mean. And it’s a shift in perception. If you have been brought up with the idea that selfishness is bad it’s a difficult thing to pivot your thinking around [24/10/2018, 19:00:12] donSELZ: yeah it's hard to change your mindset because you see how people react to you when you take away your hand inorder to help yourself up first [24/10/2018, 19:00:34] donSELZ: and seeing how people react makes you question yourself [24/10/2018, 19:00:48] Ella: Yeah it’s uncomfortable [24/10/2018, 19:01:00] donSELZ: even though your wanting to protect yourself first is right [24/10/2018, 19:02:24] donSELZ: but yeah it is uncomfortable which makes it harder to internalise the idea that caring for yourself first is a good thing and a really important thing [24/10/2018, 19:05:26] Joy: Its kinda the starting point of my study. It can told as  'unconscious anxiety I feel as associating with people' and ' having emotional security as being a selfless but selfish person' [24/10/2018, 19:06:19] Ella: I think there is also a really interesting aspect which is narcissism and certain aspects of care is celebrated. Such as financial success but your mental health isn’t. Just look at the amount of you tubers and other social media type people who are loved/revered and they are selfish people. (They are also disliked) [24/10/2018, 19:06:29] Joy: Omg your idea  helped me a lot to get through the part I was struggling with. i will upload my idea as soon as possible. Im adjusting it now. [24/10/2018, 19:06:39] donSELZ: wooo [24/10/2018, 19:06:58] Ella: Okay cool 😀 looking forward to reading it x [24/10/2018, 19:07:42] Joy: Yh it suggests another way of interpretation on the term but relevant to it I guess [24/10/2018, 19:07:56] Joy: 😍 [24/10/2018, 19:09:50] donSELZ: selfish means "lacking consideration for other people, concerned mainly with one's own profit or pleasure" [24/10/2018, 19:10:20] donSELZ: but what you guys are describing is not about lacking consideration for other people at all [24/10/2018, 19:10:41] Ella: Yeah so it’s more like perceived selfishness rather than actual selfishness [24/10/2018, 19:10:59] donSELZ: youre talking about caring for yourself but why does that automatically mean you dont care about other people [24/10/2018, 19:11:07] donSELZ: it's not a this or that thing [24/10/2018, 19:11:24] donSELZ: they can co exist [24/10/2018, 19:12:15] donSELZ: yeah it is perceived selfishness, but yeah that's why i prefer using the words self preservation [24/10/2018, 19:15:07] Ella: Okay yeah that makes sense

I guess because of the culture we have been brought up in it’s a binary and you are one or the other so to occupy two things that is slightly contradictory on the surface is hard for people to wrap their heads round [24/10/2018, 19:15:32] donSELZ: yesss i love this, we're relating to risk group [24/10/2018, 19:15:45] donSELZ: i wrote a bit about it in my essay - the binary [24/10/2018, 19:15:54] Ella: Ahh cool! [24/10/2018, 19:15:55] Joy: Thats the part I donno how to deal with. Bascially selfishness has a negative idea basing on social term. But i guess we all dont take it negatively including me. The point being is i wanna say being selfish in a certain level isnt a harm in community but there is a fine line between being selfish or being self-centred(not sure if it is a positive way of saying selfish person) person [24/10/2018, 19:15:59] donSELZ: i will copy and paste here [24/10/2018, 19:16:37] donSELZ: yeah i understand that, and i dont see it as negative in the way that you are using it at all [24/10/2018, 19:17:04] donSELZ: but because when you look up what the word selfish means [24/10/2018, 19:18:31] Joy: Yhh i just think that when we have a talk with people, it will be essential to explain about how we define selfishness in our theory X [24/10/2018, 19:19:16] donSELZ: i think i the word selfish is bound to be negative because what we are describing doesnt mean what the dictionary says selfish means [24/10/2018, 19:19:22] Ella: Yes I think that is a good idea and then coming up with a couple of key questions that we would find helpful to discuss [24/10/2018, 19:20:27] Joy: Yh ture. [24/10/2018, 19:20:30] donSELZ: what we are talking about is self preservation, which we can say is a type of selfishness that doesnt negate caring for others [24/10/2018, 19:20:42] donSELZ: from my works in the past i used this quote a lot "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare" [24/10/2018, 19:20:53] donSELZ: by Audre Lorde [24/10/2018, 19:21:15] Ella: Andre lorde is a boss!!! [24/10/2018, 19:21:29] donSELZ: which helped me a looot with the ideas around caring for myself and not feeling like that makes me a self centred type of selfish person [24/10/2018, 19:21:41] Joy: Fab. I will look for Audre Lorde!! [24/10/2018, 19:21:48] donSELZ: awesome [24/10/2018, 19:26:56] donSELZ: “the binary femininity/masculinity also supports other binaries by making them appear natural or legitimate as well. Other binaries that follow from our examples might read as follows: home/work, private/public, and passive/active. In each of these binaries, the first of the pair is gendered feminine while the second is gendered masculine” – (pg. 2, French and Bliss 2006) [24/10/2018, 19:27:35] Ella: I feel like I have seen this quote somewhere before [24/10/2018, 19:27:44] donSELZ: lool well you read my essay [24/10/2018, 19:27:47] donSELZ: so it might be that [24/10/2018, 19:27:48] donSELZ: hahaha [24/10/2018, 19:27:50] Ella: Ahh yeah hahahah [24/10/2018, 19:27:54] Ella: 😂😂 [24/10/2018, 19:28:14] donSELZ: this is what i wrote about:

Often, self-care is seen as a private act that only stays internal. However true self-care naturally externalises itself often. Self-care is an intimate act with yourself that then affects the you outside of yourself. It swims back and forth between the ‘public’ and the ‘private’, but this is not always realised. It is bound by the traditions of the binary that we see our world in; derived from the gender binary of man or woman, and so we also see self-care in the binary of either public or private, but like gender the public and private also exist on a spectrum. [24/10/2018, 19:28:15] Ella: No I think it might of also been referenced in a book about metaphors that I have [24/10/2018, 19:28:27] donSELZ: hahahah yeah probably [24/10/2018, 19:28:43] donSELZ: ohhhh hahah was it the book you borrowed me this summer [24/10/2018, 19:28:51] Ella: Yeah ahah [24/10/2018, 19:31:32] Joy: Loool it seems like its my turn😂😂😂 i am still writing....sorry.. give me 5mins guys X [24/10/2018, 19:31:46] Ella: Haha it’s cool take ya time x [24/10/2018, 19:32:01] donSELZ: 😂😂😂❤ [24/10/2018, 19:47:37] Saamiyah: I think for me, the way I’m thinking of it is being selfish in some aspects of my life like only doing thing that may only benefit me. [24/10/2018, 19:48:35] Ella: Like what [24/10/2018, 19:54:37] Joy: Self-sustainability and Selfishness or Selflessness

My study mainly looks at being self-sustainable in regards to individual acts in society. Living in society requires us to adapt ourselves in an environment and live interactively with elements surrounding us, such as social life, cultures, regulations, and so on. When it comes to dwelling in a community, we easily find ourselves following the flow of society and hard to assert ourselves due to the care of how to be perceived and considerate attitude towards others. This tendency has existed since the first time human start to live collectively and reciprocally; it results in the concept of natural attitude to associating with environments. What is the natural attitude in the context? The term can be explained as the attitude (tendency) generally making a beneficial consequence to everyone. We have been learnt to be kind and selfless to people is essential, which causes resistance to selfishness and taking the word negatively. Besides, as there is a guideline of attitude to assimilate society, the unconscious anxiety of making a decision on an individual's action deeply place in their mind. [24/10/2018, 19:54:57] Joy: I havent finished it but i realised my 5mins was too long loooool [24/10/2018, 19:55:34] Joy: Please understand my grammartic errors 😂😂 [24/10/2018, 20:00:45] Ella: Ahah it’s all good.

So looking at the fear around becoming self sustainable and te perceived selfishness that entails whilst also adapting and navigating all the other human experiences of culture, relationships, law etc [24/10/2018, 20:02:03] Ella: @447473131379 can you elaborate on what you were saying? [24/10/2018, 20:07:06] Saamiyah: I think what I’m trying to say is that because I was bought up and live in a world where we have to constantly think of helping others, that when I want to do something they may only benefit me or saying “no”to people whether it be family or friends, it’s seen as a negative thing. So I want to explore the idea of doing things/saying “no” that may only benefit me (I don’t know what) [24/10/2018, 20:07:20] Saamiyah: Without feeling guilty [24/10/2018, 20:08:46] Joy: Exactly! [24/10/2018, 20:21:23] donSELZ: this relates so much to what im looking at! [24/10/2018, 20:23:08] donSELZ: that unconscious anxiety is what manifests the "looking glass self" [24/10/2018, 20:23:58] donSELZ: the looking glass self states that our self-views form as a result of our perceptions of other people’s opinions of us [24/10/2018, 20:25:19] donSELZ: and that unconscious anxiety of being seen as selfish starts to manifest in our minds as a "truth" even though it is not true at all [24/10/2018, 20:26:09] donSELZ: because of the hyper awareness because of the unconscious anxiety of how people might perceive it we can start to believe that about ourselves which becomes unhealthy [24/10/2018, 20:26:28] donSELZ: the guilt becomes unhealthy [24/10/2018, 20:36:00] Joy: It summarises what i want to say!👍 [24/10/2018, 20:38:42] donSELZ: :D