#ah yes one of my favorite genders: dragon transformers

[needlekind]

power like mine: some meta hollering about Tiki

what is friendship, if not this

rosia here came back almost thirty minutes later and i was still going

tiki is one of my all-time faves and one of the first characters my friends, especially my non-fire-emblem friends, associate with me—young tiki was my first fire emblem and first sewn cosplay! i had four different people @ me at once when she was announced as an assist in smash. i love her so much. so obviously i had a WHOLE LOT OF WORDS TO SAY about my best lady over here, and now i am condensing them for all you lovely folks

this post will assume knowledge of fire emblem: awakening without offering any explicit spoilers! it also will not contain any plot spoilers for fire emblem: shadow dragon or fire emblem: new mystery of the emblem, but will discuss tiki’s backstory, and a couple things you can reasonably expect to happen by virtue of playing a 90s jrpg! while not image heavy, there are a chunk of them interspersed throughout.

LET’S TALK ABOUT WHY I LOVE THIS LADY SO MUCH

first, let’s go over Young Tiki’s appearance in the Archanea games, since most people are likely more familiar with her appearance in Awakening. it alludes to some parts of her backstory, as do her various quotes in Heroes (which, alongside Warriors, is likely where most people are familiar with Young Tiki), but let’s just get all our bases covered!

Tiki is the daughter of Naga, who is more or less just Literally God—just by virtue of sheer power, Naga, though not necessarily worshiped as a god just yet, is ruler of the powerful divine dragon tribe, and exalted and revered by humans alike even in ancient times. Naga dies ("dies"—ascends to godhood or an immaterial plane or whatever due to being TOO STRONG) very shortly after Tiki is born, a thousand years before Marth’s time, and on their* way, Naga puts Tiki to sleep, because the thing about dragons and Manaketes is that they are too fucking powerful, and their power will eventually drive them insane and turn them into feral beasts, which is why Manaketes are even a thing: by putting their power away into Dragonstones and taking on human forms, Manaketes can keep themselves stable, whereas if they lived life as dragons, they'd inevitably lose their mind completely and become monsters, no different than wild beasts.

* while Naga is portrayed as a woman in Awakening, and it’s commonly accepted as far as I know that their title “divine dragon king” is just a mistranslation due to nonspecific gender pronouns in Japanese, there is old Archanea-era official art which portrays Naga as male, so I personally like to think Naga is whatever the fuck they want to be and they just sort of decided to shit out a child of their own accord at some point, but that’s neither here nor there

Because Naga is, as previously established, so incredibly powerful, their daughter, Tiki, is, of course, fucking INSANELY bullshit powerful—and, of course, since she’s a newborn, she has absolutely no control over those powers. If she were to degenerate, she would effortlessly destroy the entire continent. Naga loves humanity too deeply to risk such a thing, so, as previously established, they put Tiki into a magic slumber to prevent this from happening.

She spends a thousand years in this sort of stasis, having constant nightmares about becoming a monster and hurting humans without having any control over it. She is woken up for brief periods of time at infrequent intervals so she can be comforted and/or fed by Gotoh (who i’ve complained about before, he’s just what if dumbledore was even WORSE because he’s SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL), Xane (who i absolutely adore but will not be mentioning again), and/or Bantu.

she certainly has some amount of awareness about her existence, even in sleep, because she can, of course, talk and has a basic level of cognizance—one day, after a thousand years of sleep, Tiki asks Bantu (she affectionately calls him Ban-Ban) where vegetables come from, and Bantu, taking pity on her, makes the decision to bring her out of the temple. and Tiki, who has spent a fucking millennium all alone having these terrible traumatic dreams, goes out into the world for the first time and she is immediately like I Wanna Do A Friendship

and boy howdy does she!!! Tiki spends basically the entire Archanea games effortlessly endearing herself to absolutely everybody—Archanea only has a few supports, but when you look at her Heroes quotes and see how eager and excitable she is, and you see how quickly she makes friends with the Warriors cast, it isn’t hard to extrapolate how beloved she must have been as part of Marth’s army. within a few seconds of meeting him, Tiki calls Marth, prince of Altea and leader of the Archanean resistance forces, “Mar-Mar,” and he is really only briefly shocked by the whole thing before realizing that she’s too cute. he can’t say no to her. she attaches herself to absolutely everyone, especially Mar-Mar, and all she wants to do is play and hang out and be pals with people! she spent so long in isolation but instead of dwelling on it, she really quickly jumps at the chance to make things happy and fun!

FE11/12 are sparse on supports, like i said, but she does have this really cute exchange with Bantu i want to highlight:

Bantu: Tiki, my child. Tiki: Oh, Ban-Ban! Bantu: Are you having a fun time with everyone? Tiki: Yes! I'm having so, so much fun! Bantu: Ooh, that's good to hear. It's very important you're having fun. Tiki: Oh, but... Bantu: Hmm? Is something the matter, child? Tiki: A while I ago, I, umm...I broke Mar-Mar's precious mirror...... Bantu: Oh dear...That's a bad thing you did. Tiki: Yes. I did something bad... Bantu: So, what did you do after that, child? Tiki: Oh...Mmm. I told him. I said "I'm sorry" to Mar-Mar. Bantu: ...And then, Prince Marth forgave you. Tiki: ...Yes.

and i love this so much because this happened, like...days ago. but she is so CONSUMED BY GUILT over her mistake that she’s just BRINGING IT UP UNPROMPTED, DAYS AFTER THE FACT, DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT'S BEEN ADDRESSED AND FORGIVEN!! she’s a good girl! she’s a sweet kid! but she also gets loud and impulsive and a little bratty sometimes: in her A support with Bantu, he tells her he’s going to leave her when the war is over to help other Manaketes across the continent. she gets terribly upset, and he redirects her:

Bantu: It isn't like we'll be apart forever. That's right. I'm sure I'll be back when you're a bit taller. Tiki: Huh...How tall? Bantu: Hmm? I guess...about my height. Tiki: Okay...Then, I'll transform and become bigger right now. Bantu: W-wait, Tiki! Tiki: ...Sorry, I lied.

my other favorite support of hers is with Navarre in Warriors, who is precisely as good at friendship as he looks—

Tiki: Hiya, Navarre! I heard you don't like to fight girls? Is that true? Navarre: Who told you tha-- ...Ah, Caeda. Tiki: So, I'm a girl... But what about my dragon form? Would you fight dragon Tiki? Navarre: Ridiculous. Tiki: But I'm curious. If dragon Tiki attacked, what would you do? Navarre: Unimportant. I only fight strong opponents. Tiki: So you'd fight me, because I'm super strong as a dragon. Navarre: You, strong? You're just a child. A rather conceited child... I have faced death time and time again, but never succumbed to his cold grasp. You have no such experience. Even as a dragon, you'd be no match. Tiki: Oohhh! I don't really wanna fight, but you're making me angry! Navarre: Just forget about it, Tiki. Tiki: I can't! I won't! You and me! Right here, right now!

"no, i won’t fight you in your dragon form because i don't fight anyone weaker than me” “WOW? WOW???? THAT WAS JUST A HYPOTHETICAL BUT NOW I ACTUALLY WANT TO FIGHT YOU FOR REAL. PUT UP YOUR DUKES BUDDY”

young tiki is peak Sassy Lost Child, but then not even four lines of dialogues later she’s distracted from her righteous fury because Navarre goes "i'm not going to fight you because you're precious to Marth" and Tiki goes OH!! SO IF I'M MARTH'S FRIEND AND YOU'RE MARTH'S FRIEND THAT MEANS WE'RE FRIENDS

and Navarre is like oh my fucking god

Navarre: That's not how it works, but... Believe what you want. Tiki: Teehee, yay! I'm so glad to be one of your dear friends, Nar-Nar! Navarre: Ugh... I'm leaving.

so she is just Like This all this time. at the time she’s recruited in FE11, she only has twelve years of human memories, so she’s treated like a child, and she acts like it, for the most part! but one thing that really gets me—and it gets overshadowed very often, because she's mostly like!! let's stay together forever!!! i love you so much i love all my friends!!!!! i love the beach because the ocean is big enough for ALL my friends to play with!!!!!! one of her character select quotes for her legendary version in Heroes is just "i love you all!!" she's SO cute—but one of legendary Tiki's dialogue quotes is "I heard someone say that I'm going to live much, much longer than everyone else... How much longer, do you think?"

they shelter her in this way, a little; she says she heard someone say that—when Tiki insists on her maturity, like in her Warriors supports with Corrin, it’s often in a humorously indignant way, but the fact is, by the end of FE12 she’s been a soldier in an army in two wars. none of it hits her sunshiney disposition, but the fact is, Tiki is aware of her own mortality or lack thereof, or, more importantly, her friends’ mortality—but she doesn’t seem to really know what to do with or about it.

FE12 ends with Tiki living her life happily as a part of the palace town. we don’t see Marth’s death; we only hear about it when we first meet her in Awakening. we don’t know what happens in between, either. we miss about 2,000 years of Tiki content. a lot changes in two millennia, of course, but the thing that sticks out to me most is this:

FE11 Young Tiki classic mode death quote: “No...I don't want to be...alone...”

FE13 Adult Tiki classic mode death quote: “I won't have to be alone...anymore...”

geez louise

so: enter Awakening Tiki!

hey not that i don’t LOVE her look, but, like. here’s a question. that’s a REALLY high slit. what do those garters clip onto

anyway

like i said, this post assumes Awakening knowledge, so we’re just going to breeze through where she’s at when we meet her as a quick refresher: by now, Naga worship is the cool new prevalent thing now and, as we’ve discussed, Tiki is the daughter of Literally Just God? so here we have a lady who is one part jesus, one part the oracle at delphi, and one part a deity in her own right. by now, degeneration isn’t so much a concern; Awakening doesn’t address how this happens—Young Tiki is permitted to leave the temple and travel with Marth because he assembles the Fire Emblem, then known as the Shield of Seals; of course, it’s split into the different gems by the time Awakening happens, so it’s likely some combination of her aging and therefore acquiring greater control of her power, and her putting those powers away (i.e. needing to perform her paralogue’s ritual to access any part of them)

anyway, so we have Tiki, thousands of years out from the deaths of her first friends—including Marth, who she calls the best friend she's ever had two thousand years after the fact—and now being worshiped as a prophet and oracle

and Tiki's defined by her loneliness in a lot of ways; keeping herself from being lonely again was the thing that drove her completely while she was still a child after waking up, and, throughout both FE11/12 and Heroes, she expresses a lot of fear of being left alone again, but by Awakening she's sort of...resigned to it? when you recruit her in FE12, she says she’s afraid of falling asleep at all again, that she worries if she closes her eyes they’ll never open, she’ll never see her friends again—meanwhile, Awakening Tiki is the queen of depression naps. she's more jaded, and she even openly speaks disparagingly of humanity, such as in Harvest Scramble:

So this is how the denizens of the Outrealms celebrate. People are scarcely different, whatever realm they inhabit. They pray for bounty, then despair when those prayers go unanswered. At times that despair gives way to war... Alas, festivals are but man placating his gods only to selfishly curse them later.

fuckin. for god's sake, tiki

but she's resigned to the fact that she is on a whole separate level from humans these days, that she's an object to be worshiped, the Voice before herself, and she still serves the role she's been given to its fullest? like, she resents being the Voice, but it brings people peace, so she does it. despite her ruder comments, it’s clear she does have a lot of love for humanity—she must, to do so much work and allow herself to be placed in such a lofty position so far away from them all for their sake

still, it’s made very clear she’s just sort of...accepted her lot in life, even if she has no love for it. again, from Harvest Scramble (all underlining mine):

Tiki: *Sigh* Raise your head, Say'ri. Please? Yes, I'd retired to a position of uninvolved security in my sleep. I merely observed. I intended to never again play a hand in the affairs of others. ...I thought that was best for everyone. Say'ri: And I violated that choice, ran contrary to my lady's wisdom! Tiki: Well, yes. Perhaps you did. My legend was meant to fade, as legends do. To scatter like sand in the wind.

it was around this point that rosia came back from her shower:

note the almost 30 minute time stamp difference

i wasn’t done

anyway

all of this, but she joins Chrom's army because destiny calls or whatever—Grima is an active threat, and she cannot leave the world to be ruined, so she's just kind of like yes all right i guess we're doing this and wipes the sleep out of her eyes and gets right back to it, but it isn’t until she has regular human company again that she realizes how much she missed it! a direct continuation from that last support bit:

Tiki: The choice I described before, to sequester myself away. That was how I felt back then. Back when we first met. But that is not how I feel now. Say'ri: Oh? Then...might I ask your mind now? Tiki: I'm thankful to you, Say'ri. Say'ri: Th-thankful?! ...To me, my lady? Pray, what could you mean? Tiki: Yes, to you. Without your intervention, I'd never have met all these wonderful people. And you've made me see that I am still relevant. That I can still be of use. Even to those resigned to live out their days in hermitage, warm company is a blessing. It was you who reminded me of that, Say'ri.

side note, she is secretly a HUGE goofball and it really only comes out when she's interacting with people on the regular again; she shoves an apple right into Say'ri's mouth mid-sentence and blows raspberries at her because she's being Too Serious and Tiki wants Say'ri to be honest with her and be just a regular FRIEND instead of a servant. i also want to talk about her complete lack of chill real quick, because that’s a DELIGHTFUL aspect of, again, Jesus But A Dragon’s silly personality; we discussed this with her Navarre supports and her solving the problem of not being tall enough for Bantu to stay by threatening to transform on the spot but oh my god do i ever love what a formal affair she makes out of threatening to EAT ANNA

Tiki: Is there aught you would like to tell me, Anna? Anna: You mean other than...um...how AWESOME you are?! Tiki: I hear you charged admission to my speech on the unending power of good. Additionally, it seems you are hawking my signature like a common market trinket. Anna: W-well, common market trinkets usually don't sell for 50 gold a pop! ...R-right? Look, come on! There was DEMAND, Tiki! The people just want to be a part of you! You get to spread your message, they get hope for the future, and I get a little coin! ...Er, or a lot of coin. Tiki: If your actions were so altruistic, there was no need to hide them from me. Yet even now, I see the shame of your deeds writ upon your face. Anna: But wait! Wait! I didn't do it for my own personal gain, I swear! Tiki: Such deceit only compounds your folly. Anna: T-Tiki? Wh-why are you pulling out a Dragonstone?! Tiki: To teach you that deceiving an oracle bears a hefty price. Now still your lying tongue and prepare to be eaten.

other people she threatens to eat: f!Robin, who realizes Tiki will answer questions in her sleep, starts with some history, escalates to ~were you in LOOOOOVE with prince marth~,

Avatar: (Er, Tiki? Hello, can you hear me? I want you to listen very carefully. Remember when you told me about ancient King Marth and how he saved you? Well, I was wondering... Did you love him?) Tiki: ...... Avatar: Hello? (This is odd. Usually she answers right away.) Hey, Tiki? Can you hear me? I'm asking you a question. Were you in love with King Marth? Did you want to marry him? Come on, spit it out! Tiki: Tiki...is not home. Avatar: Hey! What kind of dreamspeak is that?! You're supposed to answer my question! Tiki: *Snort* H-huh?! Whooza wozza?! What's going on?! Avatar: Aw, nuts. I woke her up. Tiki: Avatar? Is there an emergency? Is the camp under attack? Avatar: Er, well... I mean, that is to say... You were...moaning! Yes, that's it. Moaning unhappily in your sleep. I thought you were having some terrible nightmare and decided to wake you up. Tiki: Really? Thanks, Avatar. ...I think it was a nightmare. I vaguely remember being hounded by some awful hag. She wouldn't stop pestering me with personal questions. Avatar: O-oh? F-f-fancy that! What a funny dream! Heh hah! Tiki: *Yaaawn* But I'm still pretty sleepy. You don't mind if I doze off again, do you? Avatar: Oh. No. Of course not. Be my guest. Tiki: Just another forty winks and I'll...be ready...for action... ...... Zzzzzz... Avatar: (Whew! I dodged an arrow there! I couldn't very well tell her I was asking such private questions in her sleep...) Tiki: Zzz... *mumble* Avatar: (She's talking in her sleep again! Let me just bend down here so I can get a good—) Tiki: Avatar...mind your own business...or else. Avatar: WAAAAAAAAARGH! Tiki: Zzzzzz... Oh, and before you leave... fetch a cloak to...lay over me... It's a bit chilly...down here... Zzzzzzzzzzzz... Avatar: Oh! Uh, right. Of course! Whatever you say, Tiki! (Avatar leaves) Tiki: Hee hee... Zzzzzz...

a real highlight is yet another Harvest Scramble quip, when Lucina suggests Tiki wear her childhood outfit for the festival and Tiki

jams herself into the clothing

for a twelve-year-old

Tiki: ...... Lucina: ...... Tiki: ...... Lucina: Tiki. I...I don't really know what to, uh... I'm sorry... Tiki: Yes, well, that's quite enough dress-up for now. Or ever. Lucina: I was so focused on faithfully re-creating the outfit you wore in the past, I... I suppose I failed to anticipate how silly children's clothes would look on an adult. Tiki: Silly? I think that was a far cry from just silly, Lucina. Did you never stop to wonder how I would even fit into clothes that small? Lucina: I'm so, so sorry... Although it WAS you who decided to force your way into them anyway... Tiki: What was that? Lucina: N-nothing! I said nothing...

BUT ALSO

Tiki: Good. Honestly, three millennia alive, and I've never been so humiliated. Lucina: I was just... You've lived in such a different world than us all the time. Even now that you're traveling with us, you seem so distant at times... I'd hoped to help close that distance, but I fear I've done the opposite. For that, I'm truly sorry, Tiki. Tiki: ...... You're wrong about that. Lucina: Come again? Tiki: Yes, the result was...less than ideal. But the fact that you were trying to treat me like a peer, as your equal... You didn't put me on a pedestal or treat me differently than the others. The costume was embarrassing, yes, but on the contrary, I feel...happy. Lucina: You... Really? Tiki: I do. It's...quite liberating. Thank you for that, Lucina. I've forgotten how wonderful human friendships can be, fleeting as they are. I shall endeavor to do what I can to grow closer to the others. And I hope you'll continue to introduce me to new firsts, good and bad alike.

LIKE... HOW CUTE!!!! she's spent SO much time as an object of devotion before anything else that she's kind of forgotten how to be social, and being with Chrom's army reminds her again, and she's really quick to be silly and stupid and sassy about it, and she kind of just relearn hope and optimism in that way, too—a really good example is YET AGAIN present in Harvest Scramble, where like, she's talking to Nowi and she talks about how the dead become stars and that's the afterlife, and she's always seen it all these years as her loved ones being just out of reach, and Nowi's like wow cool!!! it's like they're ALWAYS with you because you can always look up and see them and they see you!!!!!

and Tiki's like

holy shit

three thousand years of existence and this nevER OCCURRED TO ME

i’m gonna segue into talking about her conversations with Nah real quick, too, which are honestly some of her sweetest; Tiki calls Nah “dear” and such in a way she doesn’t with anyone else unless Morgan is her daughter. she’s quick to answer all Nah’s questions, takes a lot of delight in seeing the usually-reserved Nah all sparkly eyed and overjoyed about the harvest festival, and takes her under her wing in a way she doesn’t really with Nowi; Nowi doesn’t particularly care about all her various Manakete lineage, but Nah has so much she wants to know but doesn’t have the resources to figure out. Tiki is very honest with Nah, telling her the truth of her lineage, of immortality and the loneliness that comes with it, will be painful, and she’s frank about how much it’s hurt her in a way she isn’t, always? but i think this quip from their A-support really demonstrates the Big Thing about Tiki and her character growth:

Tiki: ...Hear me, Nah. Remember when I said I had to tell you something difficult? We manaketes are destined to suffer because of our love for humankind. Nah: Destined to...suffer? Tiki: We live for millennia, while humans flicker out like candles. The greatest friendship I ever knew lasted just a few short decades... And when King Marth died, I was left to wander the centuries alone. Nah: ...I see. I have to be prepared to lose everyone I love. Tiki: The dragon blood in your veins curses you to such a fate. Nah: ...Wow. That's...depressing. Tiki: it can be very sad, yes. But it can make you strong as well. You will learn to cherish the memories of those wonderful people you meet. You will make them a part of you so they can give you courage always. Nah: Like a family inside your mind? Tiki: Yes, exactly! You will be able to pass on the memories to your friends' children! And then to their children and to countless generations to come. In this way can you keep them alive through the long march of time. Nah: ...... Tiki: Do you understand? Nah: ...I think so. Tiki: Never allow your fate to dissuade you from living a full, rewarding life, Nah. You must go out into the world and seek out friends. ...Seek out love. And when their end comes, as it will, you must keep them alive forever. You have the gift of near immortality, and you must find a way to share it. And what better time to start than now? Nah, let you and I be friends.

anyway the real thesis statement of this whole thing is: i love Tiki because we get to see her transition from this overly energetic optimistic ball of friendship and sunshine and joy to someone much more jaded and quiet who fills the necessary role of oracle with reluctance. she's defined by her loneliness more than much else and she goes from afraid of it to resigned to it to kind of accepting its inevitability but relearning that joy and optimism to make the most of the time she DOES have and reintegrating herself with human society and friendship, and the juxtaposition of someone who knows she's going to lose everyone she loves again and again and again and again and has accepted and made a sort of sad peace with it, against that same someone deciding to wholeheartedly throw herself into those fleeting friendships and sometimes in the stupidest possible ways, is VERY GOOD

tl;dr I Love A Girl

[tiergan-vashir]

Another Profile Meme!

NAME:  “Leilani, you know what my name is.”  Tiergan’s voice came as an agitated rumble. He’d been sprawled out, throwing his limbs greedily across his velvety red mattress for a nap, when he suddenly felt something drop down from above to land with a light ‘pompf’ on the mattress.   A bright pair of forest green eyes were fixed upon him like a reporter chasing her next lead, Leilani Leilai drew up an impossibly tiny notepad and quill with a radiant smile. How had she even gotten up there?  Tiergan would have to find out later.  “I know!” Leilani chirped. “But Miss Surenqara does it this way t’everyone else, an’ she’s one of th’bestest bards I know! So I thought to m’self, why not do th’same thing?”

Tiergan groaned, sagging into the mattress.  He briefly weighted the pros and cons of sending the lalafell out the door and into the hall.  Sure he could retain his privacy, and he quite liked that.  Or he could send her off to Bell, who would likely send her away even more promptly than Tiergan ever would.. But in return…?  

Sad, hurt, tiny bard. Little wibbling mouth. Massive, tear-filled eyes. So large. So round. So soul-crushing.  

NAME:   The gladiator smoothed a hand down his face. “…Tiergan Vashir.”

Leilani perked up, visibly delighted.

AGE: “Twenty-nine summers, or so Lurial tells me.”

Leilani tilted her head to one side, quirking a brow at her brawny victim as she paused in her note taking. “Miss Luri had t’tell you?  Y’mean ye didn’t keep track yourself?”

Tiergan shrugged, pulling up a large pillow and placing it down to give the lalafell a more comfortable place to sit.  “In the place I was before, namesdays weren’t often celebrated.  …And it was easier not to think about how much time was passing.”

SPECIES:  “Mixed Heritage.”  Tiergan began, smiling faintly when Leilani plopped down, accepting the pillow as a cushiony desk from which she could write more easily instead of grasping her notepad tight in a palm.  She was certainly petite enough to manage.  “My father was a Seeker of the Sun. My mother was a Keeper of the Moon.”

“Ah! So that’s why y’got Keeper fangs, but Seeker eyes!” The lalafell up her hands and wiggling her index fingers down into false ‘fangs’ over her mouth.

“That’s why.”  Tiergan nodded.

GENDER: “Male.” That one was pretty straight-forward for him.

ORIENTATION:  This one was not. 

The gladiator let out a muted sound of distress, smoothing his palms over his face again.  These questions were already getting far more personal than he liked and he did. not. want. to. answer. them.  He sat in dismay, hands dropping to the sheets, wringing at them quietly when a spark of insight struck, perking his ears skyward.  He sat up, grinning attentively at Leilani and leaning just the tiniest bit closer to her.  “You know - as the future ‘bestest bard in all of Eorzea’, I bet you could come up with a much more interesting answer than what I would say.” 

Leilani blinked.  “Huh?”

“We’ve been adventuring together with the others a while and you know what I’m like already.  And all you truly want is a good story, right?  So–”  Tiergan fanned out his fingers, wiggling them like he was greeting fairies. “Embellish a little.”

The confusion etched upon Leilani’s face rapidly transformed into surprise, and then to delight. She waved the end of her quill at Tiergan with a wink. “I like the way you think Mister Tiergan!”  She immediately set to work, reading out loud what she was slotting in as the answer to each section.

ORIENTATION:  “SWORDSEXUAL. LIKES LONG HOT LENGTHS O’ STEEL, ESPECIALLY IF ALREADY ON FIRE AN’ READY TO PLUNGE INTO THE MEATY HIDES OF MONSTERS EVERYWHERE.”

Tiergan’s heart dropped into his stomach.  Holy. fucking. shite.   [[ The rest is going under a cut, because it’s long! ]] 

INTERESTS: “MISTER TIERGAN’S GOAL IN LIFE IS DEVOURIN’ EVERY KIND OF FOOD IN TH’ WORLD AT LEAST ONCE - SWEET OR SAVORY IT MATTERS NOT.  HE TRAVELS TH’ LENGTH AN’ BREADTH OF EORZEA SEARCHING FOR NEW DELICIOUS MEALS WHERE EVER HE GOES. WHETHER IT BE IN A FANCY MONETARIST-BACKED RESTAURANT OR SOME DINGY HOLE-IN-THE-WALL IN THE BACK ALLEYS OF LIMSA, TIERGAN WISHES TO EAT THEM ALL.  IT IS HIS VERY REASON FOR BEING, TH’ VERY REASON FOR HIS WANDERLUST.”

The miqo’te gladiator stammered, raising a hand. “L-Leilani–”

PROFESSION:  “MISTER TIERGAN IS TH’ GREATEST MERCENARY BODYGUARD BOUNCER SWORDSMAN SELLSWORD THERE EVER WAS.  HE’LL DO ANY JOB, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, ANYPLACE, BLINDFOLDED WITH ONE HAND TIED BEHIND HIS BACK AT HALF TH’ PRICE OF ANYONE ELSE - AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T INVOLVE HURTING TH’ INNOCENT OR CUTE SMALL FUZZY ANIMALS. TIERGAN REALLY LIKES THOSE.”

Tiergan recoiled, face blanching white as paper. “NO! NOT at half the cost!  Rhalgr’s breath, I still need to make enough to live!”

“Oh, good point!” The tiny bard nodded, scribbling away at her notes. “Y’can’t devour every kind of food in th’world if y’don’t got th’coin t’do it.”

BODY TYPE: "MISTER TIERGAN IS TH’ MOST BRAWNY, BURLY, BULKTACULAR MIQO’TE ALIVE. HE ONCE BENCHPRESSED TWENTY SEADOG ROEGADYN AFTER BEATING ALL OF THEM TO A MARATHON ARM WRESTLIN’ COMPETITION!  THEY THEN NAMED HIM AN HONOURARY ROEGADYN IN TRIBUTE TA HIS MIGHTY STRENGTH.”

“… Thal’s Balls.”   Tiergan sank back into the pillows, dragging his hands over his face. 

EYES: "HIS EYES ARE WHITER THAN TH’ SNOWS OF COERTHAS AN’ FROSTIER THAN TH’ VERY TITS OF HALONE. ONE STARE CAN FREEZE A DRAGON STRAIGHT IN ITS TRACKS!”

In reality, the miqo’te’s eyes had a very long, distant look to them as he gazed at some random point on the wall - likely imagining how fast he would get obliterated for blasphemous heresy over this single entry.  This was a terrible mistake.

HAIR: "HIS HAIR IS LONG AN’ WILD AN’ FOREVER FREE. WHITE AS A GLACIER AN’ SOFT AS SILK. IT TUMBLES DOWN MID BACK AND PEOPLE COME FAR N’WIDE JUST T’ LEARN WHAT SECRET MAGIC PRODUCTS HE USES IN HIS DAILY BATHS, BUT HE’LL NEVER TELL!”

“It’s just soap!”  Tiergan sputtered desperately.  “Sometimes I use shampoo and conditioner that Surenqara gave me - but I don’t know what’s in them!”

Leilani waggled her quill at Tiergan with a broad grin and winked. “Secret Magic Hair Products!”

SKIN:  "HIS SKIN IS A DEEP RUSSET BROWN, BRONZE TINTED IN THE THANALAN SUNS! MARKED WITH SCARS AS EVIDENCE OF HIS MIGHTY CONQUESTS ACROSS THE REALM.  STRIP’IM DOWN AN’ LIKE A MAP TO ALL OF HIS GREATEST BATTLES, HE’LL TELL YOU OF’EM ALL.”

Tiergan threw up his arms. “I WILL ABSOLUTELY NOT!”

HEIGHT: "HE’S SIX FULMS ONE ILM!”

“I’m FIVE fulms and EIGHT ilms!!”

WEIGHT: “HE’S 240 PONZ OF PURE RIPPLIN’ MUSCLE!”

"I’m 185 ponz!!!!”

COMPANIONS: “MISTER TIERGAN’S TRUSTED COMPANIONS ARE THE LEGENDARY MEMBERS OF TH’ ASTRAL AGENTS, TH’ MOST POWERFUL AN’ BESTEST MEMBERS OF THE MAELSTORM GRAND COMPANY, TH’ WISEST AN’ KINDEST OF SHARALYAN SCIENTISTS, EORZEA’S GREATEST TOP MODEL OF ALL TIME, THE ILLUSTRIOUS STAFF OF THE GLORIOUS BISTRO FORK INN!  

HE IS FRIENDS WITH POWERFUL MONKS THAT CAN CRUSH ENTIRE BEHEMOTHS WITH A SINGLE PUNCH, SWEET AND KINDLY CONJURERS THAT HEAL WOUNDS BOTH GREAT AND SMALL, MIGHTY SPELLCASTERS THAT COULD SUNDER ARMIES, AND ALL OF THE MYSTICAL HOUSE VARELANDIL - INCLUDING THE HOUSE ITSELF!”

“NO! You’re– !  Wait…  I…  Huh…”  The gladiator tipped his head to one side, his arms slowly lowering as his once panicked, frantic expression eased away into something more thoughtful and introspective.  Did…. did he really have that many allies now?  That many friends?  A faint ghost of a smile began to spread across his face, his eyes softening.

ANTAGONISTS: “MISTER TIERGAN WILL UTTERLY DESTROY ANYONE WHO TRIES TO HURT KITTENS, PUPPIES, OR ANYONE IN THE ABOVE COMPANIONS CATEGORY.”

One corner of Tiergan’s lips pulled up in an amused smirk, drawing out of his thoughts long enough to look up at Leilani as she gleefully scribbled away notes while dancing a jig on the mattress.

COLOURS:  “MISTER TIERGAN LIKES WEARING RED, BLACK, AND GOLD INTO BATTLE.  SCARLET LIKE TH’ VERY BLOOD OF HIS ENEMIES!!  BLACK LIKE THE VERY PITS OF HELL!  GOLD CAUSE IT’S REAL PRETTY AN’ SHINY!  BUT WHEN HE AIN’T FIGHTIN’ - BLUE, WHITE, N’ SILVER ARE TH’COLORS, LADS AND LASSES!  TH’ CALMER COLORS OF QUIET AND SOLEMNITY!”

“I have a red party outfit, Leilani.” Tiergan arched a brow.

The tiny bard actually threw finger-guns at him, beaming. “Parties are just another sort of battlefield, Mister Tiergan! A social battlefield!”

The gladiator paused at this and let out a low curse. Did he really wear red only when he was preparing himself to face something?

SMELLS: “MISTER TIERGAN’S FAVORITE SMELLS ARE DELICIOUS FOOD, MORNING BREEZE, AND LAVENDER!”

“Wait.” Tiergan interrupted, his eyes narrowing a fraction. “How did you know about the last one?”

Leilani stopped mid-twirl and grinned, bringing the very tip of her quill to her nose like it was a fragrant blossom. “Yer room smells like it sometimes!  An’ I caught you smelling the flower once.”

FRUITS:  "AS TH’ MIGHTIEST LOVER OF FOOD THERE EVER WAS, MISTER TIERGAN LOVES ALL FRUITS AND HE’LL EAT ANY PUT BEFORE HIM!”  Leilani shouted up into the rafters, throwing her arms up. Then she paused, thinking for a moment before adding.  “Except durians.  Durians smell gross.”

DRINKS: "MISTER TIERGAN LOVES DRINKS AND HE’LL DRINK ANY DRINK! Except whiskey’s his favorite!”

“Whiskey is my favorite.”  Tiergan admitted, his shoulders relaxing.  “Or honey mead.  …Or anything sweet.”

ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES? frequently  /  no  /  occasionally

“MISTER TIERGAN IS TH’BOOZIEST BOOZE HOUND EVER TO BOOZE. HE HIDES TH’ EMPTY BOTTLES UNDER HIS BED WHEN COMPANY COMES!”

The mercenary jolted back upright, waving his arms.  “Don’t write that!  It was only that one time!”

SMOKES?  yes  /  no  /  occasionally  /  rarely

“MISTER TIERGAN’S NEVER SMOKED. AT LEAST NOT THAT I’VE E’ER SEEN!”

DRINKS?   yes  /   no  /  occasionally

“MISTER TIERGAN IS TH’BOOZIEST BOOZE HOUND EVER TO BOOZE. HE HIDES TH’ EMPTY BOTTLES UNDER HIS BED WHEN COMPANY COM–”

“Leilani!!”  

“Oh, right - sorry!”

DRUGS?   yes /  no (bad history with them, former addiction)  /  occasionally

“MISTER TIERGAN’S NEVER DONE ANY ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES. AT LEAST NOT THAT I’VE E’ER SEEN!”

DRIVERS CHOCOBO LICENSE?  yes /  no

“MISTER TIERGAN’S GOT A LICENSE AN’ HIS BIRD RIDIN’ SKILLS ARE SO KEEN, HE’S GUIDED A CHOCOBO BACKWARDS AN’ BLINDFOLDED THROUGH ALL OF THE GREAT CITY-STATES OF TH’WORLD, USIN’ ONLY HIS SHARP HEARIN’ FOR DIRECTION WITH A FAIR LAD OR MAIDEN CLINGING TA HIS CHEST, DESPERATE FER RESCUE FROM TH’ DASTARDLIEST BASILISK KNOWN TO TH’ RACES OF MAN, ABLE TO PETRIFY ANYONE WIT’ A SINGLE STARE!”

Tiergan let out a deep exasperated breath, all but collapsing back down against the pillows and running a hand through his hair.  His wide, white eyes fixed upon Leilani and his brows lifted at the silence that came after the chocobo license question.

“Are…. are we done?  Was that the last question?”

Leilani finished off her notes before smiling wide at her miqo’te friend.  “Aye, that’s th’last.  Unless… y’want me t’think of some more?” The speed at which the gladiator scooped the lalafell up at her question and herded her directly out the door was something Leilani decided to add later in her descriptions: ‘LEGENDARY SWIFTNESS, BLINDING SPEED, BUT ONLY WHEN EVADING QUESTIONS!’  

Tagged By: corbeaux-vepois

Tagging: ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY MANAGED TO READ ALL THE WAY TO THE END OF THIS.  You don’t have to do it the way I did dear sweet jesus. Just answer it normally.