#ah fuck I've gotta tag all these men okay

[whitenikes]

red wings via instagram: it's all in the hips

[ravenquingvax]

Sup, Critters!

It's 3am and I can't sleep because of an idea rattling about in my head thanks to a post I saw earlier today.

Here, maybe posting it will let me forget about it long enough for me to get some sleep:

Vax is lounging in his room, having just finished his nightly yoga, with a glass of red wine while reading a book.

Percy and Scanlan, mid conversation, walk into his room, mistaking it for Percy's room which is a room over.

Scanlan: Okay, maybe we'd have nowhere to keep it, but we'd still have an airship.

Percy: That's great and all, Scanlan, but we can't just steal an airship. They're heavily guarded, they require special maintenance and they need to be stored properly.

Scanlan: Okay, then build somewhere to store one and we'll work from there!

Percy: You're confidence in my ability to build things is quite refreshing, Scanlan, but I'm not a construction worker, all I can make are guns, arrows, daggers, saddles for bears and saddles for brooms.

Scanlan: Then hire someone who can build an airship hanger? You're from money, aren't you? Just write to your sister and ask for a loan.

Percy: That's adorable, you think my sister would help us with something like this? You really are an only child, huh?

Vax: Hi, hello. Couldn't help but overhear your conversation about stealing an airship? Now, gentlemen, as much as I love the sound of your voices interrupting my down time... I was trying to rest?

Percy: Oh! Sorry, Vax.

Scanlan: This is not Percy's room. Ah. That's awkward.

Vax: Just a bit.

Percy: Sorry, we got a little distracted there.

Vax: I could tell, but now you have my interest piqued, so I'm going to have to ask you both real quickly. You've just walked into the bedroom of a master thief, talking about stealing an airship. Are you offering me a job or are you just venting?

Scanlan: Well, Vax'ildan, what would it cost us to hire you? You being a self proclaimed 'master thief' and all.

Percy: I would sell my soul to you in a heartbeat and you goddamned know it, Vax.

Vax: Percy, and I say this only with love and respect, but I've seen what you do with your soul and I am going to pass.

Percy: That's entirely fair and I deeply respect that.

Vax: As for what I'd like? A nice fancy dinner downtown with my 4 favourite men, a walk through some botanical gardens afterwards and perhaps even some dancing by moonlight in a graveyard.

Percy: So basically, your dream date with a certain shopkeeper, but with us and Grog tagging along so you don't die from social anxiety?

Vax: Do you want my help or not, Freddie?

Scanlan: Baby, you were already hired as far as I was aware. Now we just gotta get a plan together and try to not get ourselves mega arrested.

Vax: Good. Now shut up and sit down. Let an expert do all of the working out.

Percy: This wouldn't happen to be the same expert who masterfully missed his window of opportunity and got himself caught by a Vampire and his wife one time, resulting in him nearly dying and needing to be rescued, would it?

Vax: One, Percy isn't allowed in on the plan anymore. That was one time and I was starving, watching all of you assholes eat, and I got a little fucking distracted. Go fuck yourself, Percival. Fuck you.

Percy: I'd rather watch you fumble your way through a botched plot of grand theft auto, quite frankly.

Vax: I'd rather watch you drown in your own shit, you absolute prick of an arsehole.

Percy: Oh, nice one. Really classy, Vax. Go and throw yourself into another trap.

Scanlan: Now, now, ladies. Arguing won't steal us an airship, now will it?

Vax & Percy, simultaneously: Go fuck yourself, Scanlan.

Scanlan:

Scanlan: Well, quite frankly, that was just rude. Sincerely, fuck both of you.

Vax: Gods, look, alright. Are we doing this or not?

Percy: Can't believe I'm saying this, but Gods Yes we're stealing this fucking airship.

Scanlan: Fuck yeah, we are!

Vax, grinning: Good. Now let's start with where it is we're going to actually find one-

[mytastessuck]

Gorillaz: Humanz

SHere it is, the comeback tour! I was so excited for this album, I sucked all the singles that came out before I could download the album. This album basically reminded me of the reasons I love Gorillaz. All of them. One particular reason a little too well...

Okay, let's get the elephant out of the room. This album is a bit controversial among the community for playing a little too hard to one of Gorillaz' strengths: showcasing cool artists. There are more than a few tracks where Damon doesn't even show up. Hell, my favorite track doesn't even have it on him. Me, I honestly don't care about that as long as I get to hear good music but for the rest of you die hard Gorillaz fans? Just think of this as a compilation album like NOW That's What I Call Alternative/Indie Hip-Hop/R&B/Electronica/Pop.

See? Rolls off the tongue. Now let's get started.

1. Intro: I Switched My Robot Off

Nice. Real ominous. Gorillaz really know how to build up a presentation. Feels like you're walking through the doors of the doors to the Shrine of the Silver Monkey. Anybody remember Legends of the Hidden Temple? Were there doors on that stage? Anyway, awesome.

10/10

2. Ascension

Holy hell, Vince really knocks it out of the park on this one. Different beat, nice flow, social commentary...He was not fucking around on this track. Damon's barely on the track but Vince makes up for it with his existential rhymes and chorus back-up. Man, Gorillaz has gotta take advantage of gospel more often.

9/10

3. Strobelite

That didn't take long, did it? Anyway, this is my favorite song on the album. Peven has an incredible voice, the music psychically compels you to dance and...that's it. Sometimes, well usually with me, you just need to go with Simple Yet Awesome. Have a good voice and a good beat. This song has both and I'm pretty sure that one day, a scientist will hear this song and will be inspired by it to cure diabetes.

100/10

4. Saturn Barz

Ah, the lead single from the album. Remember the 360 house, everyone? Yeah, you remember. Glad to have Gorillaz welcome back Reggae into their line-up with Popcaan manning the helms. He and Damon tag-team the eardrums with the power of dread as the instrumentation makes you feel like you're in a haunted house. Welcome back, guys.

25/10

5. Momentz

WELCOME BACK, GUYS! De La Soul returns to say some real shit about time and how you should, respect and stuff. Seriously, awesome track. Kicks so much ass and you can even dance to it as you wonder if this MOMENT will be one of the last times when you feel really happy. Nice...

9/10

6. Interlude: The Non-Conformist Oath

Hey, Steve Martin! I like to imagine a bunch of assholes listening to this and...just not getting it. Not us though. We get it. We're smart. Smarter than those guys...

10/10

7. Submission

This song had to grow on me but years after I got the album and after I learned to appreciate Danny Brown a little more like all humans should, this song became one of my favorites off the album. Don't worry Kelela, he doesn't carry the whole song. Her voice is so beautiful that it can calm a charging rhino or a coked-up Connor McGregor. These make the song a lot classier than it had any right being.

90/10

8. Charger

She's beauty, she's Grace...she's also Jones. Man, I haven't heard from this woman since Corporate Cannibal and she has clearly been keeping up practice. God, how can a woman's laughter both scare and arouse me? Damon's no slouch on this track either, singing about the monster that keeps us all tethered: the charger. I kid, I kid. Hey, did Damon really get a boner on stage when he sung this or are you guys messing with me? Message me if you know.

9/10

9. Interlude: Elevator Going Up

On a recent trip, I tried to go up the elevator but it was card-activated so a desk lady had to help me. That's it.

8/10

10. Andromeda

Damon has to do the heavy lifting here and his muscles have not completely wasted away from lack of use. He tells us to take in our heart and you know what? I did. I took this song directly in my heart...and my playlist.

50/10

11. Busted And Blue

Yeah, this song is a bummer. A good bummer. It's Broken's younger brother who joined the army to make his parents proud after he couldn't get into university like his older brother who managed to form a separate family with his squad and began to think that maybe he was good enough after all before his squad gets bombed and, as he lies legless dying painfully on the ground, a blue butterfly land directly on his outstretched busted hand...

Directed by Mervyn LeRoy

10/10

12. Interlude: Talk Radio

You ever wonder how we get voices in machines? I know you think it's a complicated process but I know a dude who picked up the radio in his electric fan once. Think about it.

8/10

13. Carnival

Again, this song had to grow on me but one day, while I was thinking about Gamzee for a godforsaken reason, I thought "Geez, he talks about the Dark Carnival and the Dark Carnival isn't even some of ICP's best days. What's a good song about a carnival?" Anyway, Anthony can spin a person's mind and mind around just by singing. He's wild.

80/10

14. Let Me Out

Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Mavis was Vince's mother? She's not but that would be funny as well as cool. Her and Pusha T bang on the walls of this track as they rant about the politics at the time of this song. Yeah, they're talking about Trump. That car horn can't protect you forever, you orange bastard.

9/10

15. Interlude: Penthouse

Dear Penthouse: Hi. Does anyone check in on you, just you? I'm here to say I think you're important and you provide a necessary outlet for men to brag about being perverts. At least before the Youtube comment section existed.

Thanks for everything,

mytastessuck

8/10

16. Sex Murder Party

Ooooo, this track puts me in a funky mood. Like, there's a part but there's sex there...and MURDER. So you know it's an awesome party. Kick-ass, right? I know it's kick-ass. Keep dancing, people.

11/10

17. She's My Collar

Pretty sexy song. Gotta love people vauging about being used in a song. That's why we love Offspring, that's why we love Damon on his knees onstage. Hey, there was a post that said Noodle wrote this song about her girlfriend. That was an excellent post. Well done.

9/10

18. Interlude: The Elephant

I SAID GET OUT OF HERE, YOU BASTARD!

8/10

19. Hallelujah Money

Ah, the technical first single. Remember when they said that they weren't going to put this song on the album? Anyway, this is exactly the song we needed after The Incident occurred. Benjamin manages to calm down an entire populace while Damon just fearfully wonders what our future will be like...and he's in the UK. This song is one long terrifying lullaby to an entire country...until the end, anyway.

75/10

20. We Got The Power

A great way to remind listeners that no matter what's happening, no matter who's in charge, we have the power change everything. An excellent message for people who were still recovering from The Incident.

10/10

21. Interlude: New World

Okay, the bonus tracks. Should be nothing special here, right? Just some B-sides and I've never shown favoritism towards B-sides, right?

8/10

22. The Apprentice

A nice song from the same Rag n' Bone Man who brought us "Human". Zebra manages to lay down some nice rhymes as Ray BLK backs them both up with the force of her voice. These guys should form a team with how well they work together. Oh, they should make a virtual band! All they need to do is find an artist...

9/10

23. Halfway To The Halfway House

A very nice song if a bit overshadowed by the others on the album. Still, Peven can't be beat when it comes to crooning and he raises a song from a solid C to a B.

8/10

24. Out of Body

This song had to grow on me also but when it did...lord, this song is weird. Hypnotic suggestions, telephone tones, the song starts then Zebra jumps in to help then who is this person?! Why are people applauding?! Who are you people?! Why are there so many crows gathering outside my house?!

60/10

25. Ticker Tape

Well well well, look who's back. Damon returns with his old friend Kali to join the accuser of the vain Carly Simon to beg us to stay on the album. Sorry Damon, but I got places to do and people to go. There's nothing you can do to convince me to stick around after how long this album already is.

9/10

26. Circle of Friendz

Huh. Seems like a riot is going on. Weird for Gorillaz to get this real. What, this guy is just going to keep saying Circle of Friendz again and again? Is this supposed to affect me? Get real. It'll take a lot more than a nice voice and implications to...

To...

...

...Maybe I should listen to the album again.

11/10

Album score: 25/10

Damn, that took a while. Shouldn't be the case next week when we cover The Now Now. See you then!

[rebelcap]

We are not just friends — Part 10

Chris Evans x bi!latina!character (Sofia is a people of color, she's brown.)

Chris and Sofia meet when their best friends started dating, it all started at friends with loads of bumps on the road.  

Warnings: drinking, smoking, drug use (weed), assault, Chris being Steve Rogers, commitment issues, my girl Sofia kinda messy, lots of fucking (eventually) 

This is slow burn at its best, at least emotionally. 

Series masterlist

Sofía was in a meeting with Chris's publicist, his assistant, and lawyer as they all went through the contract along with the brewery lawyers.

"My client had already told me to give whatever your asking," The lawyer spoke and Chris's publicist kept eyeing her. "so, this is more a formality."

"We already discussed it, just a photoshoot. We're going with the social media route of promoting." Sofia explained and the lawyer nod a few times, she was on the last page of the contract.

Sofía looked at his publicist and the woman kept looking at her phone and then back at her, multiple times like she was trying to figure something out.

What the fuck? Sofia kept thinking and she heard Chris's voice carrying from the other side of the co conference room. He had arrived a while back but Ron and his kid were giving him a tour of the brewery that was barely getting it together. Nothing was set up but the skeleton was there and Chris was delighted.

They still haven't really seen each other, until this very moment, the first thing he did was stare at her, puppy eyes and everything and Sofia was acting like she was already over it, guess Chris wasn't the only actor in the room.

Of course, Ron started his usual little speech as they signed the contracts, even cracked the champagne at nine o'clock. The photoshoot was going to be after lunch as the crew gets the things together—Ron had really splurged on the production, he really took it to himself on how much money he was saving.

Sofía could see from the corner of her eyes as Chris was discussing something with his publicist, she kept discreetly pointing in her direction as Chris looked something on her phone. He kept shaking his head no, getting quickly irritated.

When they both turned around to look at her, she quickly looked at the other way—attention back whatever she was doing.

"Sof," Chris called her, voice soft. She looked up and he was right there with his publicist. "I need to show you something."

"What is it?" She asked and the woman asked if they could speak somewhere else. "Yeah, the office." Sofia leads the way.

"Thanks for the privacy," The woman said, and Sofia nod. "I don't care what you two are doing but I do care about this," She said showing her the paparazzi pictures of Chris and her when she arrived at the stupid party yesterday. Sofia could practically remember everything they talked on that brief moment, her full face was on display.

"Oh," Sofia explained and blinked a few times. "Well, shit,"

"And you didn't have anything to do with it?"

"Megan." Chris cut her off and the girl just rolled her eyes.

"He's insisting that you didn't but I gotta ask, I'm just trying to protect Chris's privacy."

"Megan, come on," Chris interrupted her.

"Wait. Are you asking me if I staged this?"

"Did you?"

"Sofi, I know you didn't, you don't have to answer, look Megan—

" It's okay and no, I didn't. Chris you know I would never," Sofia said looking at him, whatever what had gone down last night she would never break his trust like that, she loved and value their friendship to do something like this.

"Yes, I know," He touched her arm, looking at her apologetic. "I'm sorry I'm dragging you into this, I was sure there was no one."

" I'm glad you weren't, I just have to ask. The pictures are already out and you guys were on the street there's not much we can do." Megan explained. "For now you're the 'mystery woman' but I'm sure with time they'll find out who are you." She locks her phone and put it in her purse and looked at Chris.

"Okay, I'll deal with it when it has to deal with it, I'm cool with it." Sofia shrugged and Chris stared at her.

"This doesn't bother you?" Chris asked.

"It bothers me for you because I know you're a very private person but no worries for me, I'm pretty much obscure on social media, all I do is tweet about how much I hate Donald Trump and re-tweet dogs pics."

"She does," Chris nods and she shrugged again.

"Okay," Megan said looking down at he phone again. "Do you wanna release a statement or…?"

"I prefer not brought more attention to it, I'll leave it like this," Chris said and sigh, looking a little bit defeated.

Megan, the publicist, finished up the talk and quickly excuse herself, leaving them alone in the office.

"We should probably," Sofia said looking at her watch and tried to walk past him but of course Chris wasn't going to just let her.

"Can we talk?" He asked and she sighs.

"Chris, it's really okay,"

"No, it's not. I'm sorry I disrespect you,"

"You obviously still had things to figure out and I just don't wanna be in the middle of that. We are friends, if you need to vent with me I'm here, always." Sofia explained, leaning against the desk with her arms folded against her chest.

"Sof, I already figured it out," Chris said walking up to her. "I don't, I don't want anything with her. It's done -

" Yeah, her tongue down your throat last night didn't necessarily say 'I'm done with her',"

" Shit. I know, can we call it a lapse in judgment? " Chris made a face, he truly didn't know how to salvage this. Sofia was difficult and stubborn and he had fucked up.

"Call it whatever you want," She shrugged and sigh deeply.

"Hey," Chris said grabbing her hands as she kept looking anywhere else but him. "Hey, look at me," She did and closed her eyes.

Don't Sofia, don't don't. She kept thinking because he was so fucking attractive, she just wanted to kiss him all the time.

"I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry. I was a complete asshole and I shouldn't even try to explain, I fucked up it was my fault."

"Yeah," She pouted.

"But, I did figure it out—" Sofia was about to interrupt him again but he was quicker. "I know it didn't seem like it, but I did."

"And?"

"I wanna be with you, Sof. I don't wanna be just friends—

"Are you fucking with me?" She squints her eyes at him and scoffed." I'm going just to pretend you didn't say anything because I like my job." Sofia muttered and walked out of the office.

"Jesus Christ," Chris muttered, running his hands over his beard and sigh.

~~~~

Christofer Robert Evans was relentless, couldn't take no for an answer and Sofia was about to snap at everyone at any giving moment. Between Chris trying to make a truce, Ron losing his shit constantly, his fucking son and friends that were fucking around the brewery, and on top of everything Amanda kept blowing her phone.

"Sofia," Ron called her and she walked up to him and his son that was chatting with Chris.

"What's up?" She said walking up to her and he took her to aside.

"I'm going to send you back to Boston for a while," He said and Sofia was about to cry.

"Oh God, thank you I fucking hate this place so much." She said making a face and Ron laughed at her expression.

"I know, I can see the amount of pressure that I've been putting you into this last couple of days and you did more than deliver. You deserve a little break,"

"Oh, man. Thank you," She sighed with relief. "Everything here it's pretty much set up, the machines are getting installed this week, everything with the bank it's already resolved, permits too. Thanks to Chris's lawyers, contractors are coming at the end of the month… I mean everything it's on track, at least for a week." She explained pulling out her cellphone and Ron was amazed.

"You pulled this off in a couple of days, I'm never letting you go, that's for sure," Ron said and made a gesture. "So, he likes you." He pointed at Chris with his mouth and Sofia roll her eyes. "And I thought you were only into Chicks."

"That's why your wife loves me so much and I have a weakness for pretty white dudes, it's pretty unhealthy if you asked me." She said with a smile looking at Chris for a moment. "it's complicated right now."

"Shit I bet, guess he's really into you by doing all this pro-bono. So, I'm going to be absolutely a greedy selfish man and said to trap this one." He said pointing at his finger and Sofia let out a laugh.

"No way, man." She shook her head. "Let's focus on beer and stop talking about my non-existent love life, after crazy bitch Tiffany. I'm done,"

"Yeah, and I thought my ex-wife was crazy, you definitely got it worse," He put a hand on her shoulder and murmur. "Good rebound, uh?" He pointed at Chris.

"Ay por Dios, Ron." She rolled her eyes and he laughed, walking away toward his son and started saying their goodbyes to a Chris.

"Ah, men. Listen, just be patient with her," Ron said to Chris while they shake hands. "She seems tough but she's all fragile inside, treat her right." The men said as he put another hand on his, squeezing a little bit.

Chris got the point right away.

"Yes, sir."

~~

Tag list:

@letsdothemonstermash

@lunaticbarnes

@firstangeldragonranch

@lovepeacefood

@thegirlwithpaperheart

[beaniegyu]

HI FRIEND IM BACK!!!!!!!!! im sorry for taking ages to show up i was kinda busy so i didn't have much free time :/ BUT IM BACK!

omg noooo 😭 honestly depending on where you get it it doesn't hurt but i think it's more on the needles itself right? :/ BUT ITS FINE maybe if you really want you can get those fake tattoos? some of them are nice aksdjsakdsak it's an option !!!

PLEASE SHARE ON LATIN SCENARIOS AND SVT there's a jeonghan pic that i think he looks very latin is a mirror selfie and he has these glasses and a polo shirt i guess? it's just very LATIN TO ME

bruno mars pls collab with our king we're all waiting :/// AND YES EXACTLY THEY'RE BASICALLY POLAR OPPOSITS!!!!! they both make my heart tingle in different ways.

FUCK YEAH VERNON LEGEND!!!!!!! literally it's so funny bc i have a friend that ults him for ages and sometimes i just go like damn i love this verse and i barely realise it's a vernon verse and she's always like . you always like his verses . deserve . AND YEA DESERVE BC HE DELIVERS IT!

SPEAKING OF CHECK IN did you watch caratland???? YOONZINO!!!!!!! vocal unit killed it they are literally everything i absolutely love them fucking legends!!!!!!!!

ok so gam3bo1 depends on the mood. for sure not my fave but Sometimes i can listen to it?

AGE SONGS LET'S GO

1. ah! love: literally this song is everything to me i do not have enough words to explain how much i love it it's literally the third song i've listened to the most this year laksdjaksdjs like it is IT!

2. do re mi: IT MAKES ME HAPPY AND THOUGHTFUL AND LIKE IDK SAFE? AND LIKE THINGS WILL BE OK? and it makes me think of incomplete stage and how happy it made me

3. light a flame: sexy SEXY SEXY!!!!!!! but not something i listen to very often

4. hey buddy: yea. that's no it for me chief. not my cup of tea

BUT YOUR MV IDEAS PLS OH MY GOD ESPECIALLY FOR LIGHT A FLAME!!!!! SOONYOUNG LET'S GO TO THE CARIBBEAN RIGHT FUCKING NOW AND DANCE AND HAVE COCKTAILS WHILE YOU GRAB MY WAIST AND WE MOVE ACCORDING TO THE MUSIC!!!!!!!!!

also! the latest "mission" for carat anon event is to make playlists to your anon so maybe you'd like to make one for me? 🥺🥺 it can be anything like something that makes you think of your biases or of my biases or songs you've been listening to or just ANYTHING really!

- ☀️

hi! don't worry at all ☺️ my week has been crazy. i still haven't been able to finish an ask game that i love and work is so busy right now ugh ANYWAYS so tattoos!!!!! yeah i mean there's nothing i'm dying to get but if there was i think i could get over my fear of needles heheh.

oh so i think about them in like school or at parties or "asados" as we call barbecues here and i feel like they fit right in. the gose ttt episodes have convinced me of it. i would also love to watch them dance to cumbia dslskfjldskfj it's awful but i think it'd be so so so funny to watch. listen to this it's gross but also it's a good representation of what cumbia sounds like.

dude vernon is so good like even waaaaaaaaay back when they were doing seventeen project and they got told off someone was like "except vernon. you did really well" and i was like YEA damn right he did.

CARATLAND yes i watched it. i woke up at 4:30am for these men for like the third time in this pandemic but that's okay i do love me some seventeen content you know? i was so looking forward to the unit switch but i didn't expect them to do old songs so that was really nice to see heheheh i think everyone killed it but i gotta say vocal unit wins bc jeonghan chicken 🐓

i ADORE the fact that your favorite song is ah! love bc same. i feel like everyone was obsessed with light a flame and then with do re mi bc of the kids so ah! love kinda got pushed to the back of everyone's minds and noooooooo it's so good.

HEHEHEHE i'm glad you like those ideas bc light a flame is my fave and i want pledis to hear me about it 😏

OH yay playlists are my jam and i have some ideas already but i do have a question about it bc i joined in the event late... will you reveal yourself after i post it? or do you reveal yourself first so i can tag you 🤔 hmm many thoughts lol