#after that we'll go to target and get a quick lunch at qdoba. one hour after lunch i would like an iced caramel coffee | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dragons-and-yellow-roses · 2 months ago

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I gravitate towards jobs and such in which I make decisions, and prefer to live alone which comes with many decisions, and then do creative hobbies that require me to make so many decisions, and I thought "Huh, decisions are hard, what would a nice day without decisions look like?" And then I realized I just meticulously planned out a whole day of no decisions by just making the decisions beforehand.

#im so tired of decisions #rn im pretty new at my job so not too many decisions but still aome stuff i have to do independently #but my last job was so many decisions. i coordinated so much and if i did it wrong evryone hated me #and before that i was a shift lead #and for the last four years at summer camp ive been an area director #and this year i applied for an office position which is even hugher than area director #and im trying to move out of my parents house which comes with so many decisions #why do i keep doing this to myself #i like leadership and independence too fucking much and then im burnt out on it #and i would love just one day in which i didnt have to make any decisions #unfortunately i know myself and i know that someone else would not make the right decisions #so i want to make the decisions beforehand #and then someone else just executes the decisions for me. if that makes sense #like i want to tell someone 'tomorrow we will wake up at 9am and go get coffee. i want aan iced mocha #after that we'll go to target and get a quick lunch at qdoba. one hour after lunch i would like an iced caramel coffee #i would like to drink this coffee while we go on a walk along the lake #then id like to go home and knit for two hours. you may do something in the same space but it has to be quiet and non-distracting #then we will have such a late dinner. pizza unless you are willing to cook one of the three things i am always okay with #then i will peruse my phone until midnight. then i will sleep #i want to lay that all out for someone snd then they facilitate it #like they just know 'okay its 9am get up we're going for coffee.' 'alright its midnight put down your phone for sleeps'#all damn day they just do the decisions for me. even though i already made them so i know they were made right #idk if that makes sense. im just so tired #i was laying in bed before sleeping and decided to plan my perfect day of no decisions #and realized that it was not decision-free because i had just made every decision #did i mention how tired i am

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