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purrincess-chat · 2 days ago

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Adrien Agreste's Road to Recovery Playlist CH1

Happy Christmas! You all voted, so here we go~ The sequel to Marinette Dupain-Cheng's Spite Playlist: Remix has begun.

Summary: The day Hawkmoth was unmasked was a day marked in Paris history as a celebration, a triumph, a victory, but for Adrien Agreste it was anything but. Left to grapple with his father's villainy and a yachtful of childhood trauma, Adrien finds himself spat back out into a world that no longer knows what to think of the face they once revered, and neither does he, for that matter. Who is Adrien Agreste? And what does he want? The answers lie at the end of a long road filled with painful memories, secrets, and of course, black cat ears.

Rating: T

Read on AO3

For those who don't like sodium chloride content and therefore, haven't read MDCSPR, I've provided a quick summary of MDCSPR that includes everything you will need to know going into this fic as it is a direct sequel, though this fic contains no sodium content and is entirely an exploration of Adrien's character amidst the fallout of learning the truth about his father. If that interests you, here is what you missed:

Quick summary of MDCSPR for those that never read it, but who want to read this:

After the events of Chameleon, Marinette changes schools because of Lila’s influence over her classmates and because she was almost akumatized. She enrolls at a private art academy full of incredibly rich and talented classmates. There she meets a new group of friends:

Macy Chanteur: a tall, perky, brown hair, brown eyed girl with the voice of an angel who has been recovering from an eating disorder. Modelled Marinette’s center-piece design in her summer fashion show. Former wielder of the rabbit Miraculous (Bunny). Dating Martin.

Eliott Chasse: a black trans boy with aspirations to be a famous actor. Starred as Chat Noir in a community play. Somewhat of a flirt. Bi panic incarnated. Former wielder of the fox Miraculous (Malin). Dating Lisette.

Martin Michel: a lanky brown hair, green eyed boy with glasses. Very smart and a skilled photographer, one of his photos was featured on the cover of Style Magazine (Audrey’s company) after Marinette’s fashion show. Shy bean. Former wielder of the turtle Miraculous (Emerald Shell). Dating Macy.

Gabrielle Burton: a tall red-head with green eyes. Formerly wealthy, formerly the school mean girl. Friends with Marinette. Former wielder of the tiger Miraculous (Tigress).

Lisette Auclair: tiny blonde girl with brown eyes. Makeup fanatic. Shy bean. Secretly savage. Pastel bitch. Just a tiny little fairy. Former wielder of the mouse Miraculous (Souris Rose). Dating Eliott.

During her time at her new school, Marinette helped her new friends change into more confident individuals who stand up for each other and others. She even helped a few of them find the courage to confess their feelings to one another. Shortly after she transferred, she and Alya’s friendship fell apart after Alya was akumatized. Alya spent the rest of the story trying to figure out what went wrong and who to trust.

After Marinette transferred, Adrien began visiting her to check in and keep in touch. He often relayed Lila’s influence over their classmates. Chloe tried to enlist Marinette’s help in taking Lila down (because she’s stealing all the attention away from her), but Marinette refused. After Lila taunted Adrien about Marinette, he joined forces with Chloe to attempt to out her as a liar, but the two were unsuccessful.

Adrien realized that he cares deeply for Marinette, and eventually the two started dating. The rest of the class remained torn on who to believe in the Lila vs Marinette debate. However, when Lila accused Marinette of pushing her down the stairs on a school field trip to the Louvre, most of her classmates turned back to Lila’s side, prompting Marinette to join forces with Adrien and Chloe to take her down. They devised a plan to make Marinette famous by pitching a fashion line to Chloe’s mother who helped Marinette start her brand by hosting a fashion show.

After the show’s success, Marinette’s brand took off, and she was propelled into stardom that she and her friends used to perform a lot of charity work, but more specifically, they performed all of the acts Lila claimed to have done, thus rooting her lies out from underneath. When Alya caught wind of all of their accomplishments and realized Lila lied, she outed her in an Instagram live, thus bringing her down once and for all.

On the same night as Alya’s Instagram live, Ladybug and friends finally defeated Hawkmoth, a revelation that rocked Adrien to the core. He spent several months in a hospital wrestling with mental demons inflicted from his abusive childhood. Around the end of November/beginning of December, he left the hospital only to find that his mother had succumbed to her illness and passed away. He attended her burial alone, then returned to his old home to retrieve a few items before it is set to be demolished and turned into a new foundation for akuma victims to help heal their trauma. (funded by Marinette). He parted ways with Nathalie and left to meet Marinette at the train station where they both gave their Miraculouses back to Master Fu who headed to London to finally be with Marianne. After their goodbyes, they returned to Marinette’s home where her parents set up a spare room for Adrien to stay with them.

(Epilogue) Several years later, he and Marinette return to Paris from NY where they both live while Marinette is in school and training under Audrey Bourgeois. Adrien visits his father in prison for the first and last time to tell him how happy he has become when not under his control. He and Marinette enjoy tea with friends, and after they leave, Adrien brings her to the Trocadero to the exact spot he was standing when he fell in love with her as Chat Noir all those years ago. He asks her to marry him, and she says yes.

This story takes place between the events of Adrien moving in with the Dupain-Cheng’s and the epilogue. Specifically, it begins the very same night that MDCSPR ended on. The Adrien and Marinette of this story are not canon’s Adrien and Marinette as they have already been through the events of MDCSPR. In particular, this Marinette is now a famous fashion designer, and Adrien is essentially a traumatized orphan trying to find where he fits in in the world. This story follows his road to recovery with all of its ups and downs. Keep the epilogue in your thoughts as you read this. It will help XD Enjoy!

Without further adieu, here is Adrien Agreste's Road to Recovery Playlist CH1:

Chapter 1

♪♫ Easier to Run ♪♫

The soft brush of Marinette’s fingertips on the nape of his neck should have been relaxing, but Adrien was still on edge. It was a losing battle really. Laying against her chest on the couch, while she played with his hair, warm and safe. Last summer, Adrien would have considered it bliss and fallen right asleep, but he didn’t want to close his eyes, a fact that became increasingly frustrating the sleepier he felt. He could tell her to stop, but after 3 months apart, the last thing he wanted was to let go of her, even if the steady rise and fall of her chest only made his eyelids heavier.

A laugh track played from the sitcom on the living room TV Adrien had stopped watching, a heavy fog descending over him. His eyelids drooped, his vision clouding over. He took a sharp breath to wake himself up again, but the effect lasted less than a second. It had been a long day—leaving the mental hospital, saying goodbye to his mother, Nathalie, and Master Fu. Plus, M. and Mme. Dupain-Cheng cooked him a feast worthy of a king to celebrate his homecoming. He really shouldn’t have eaten that extra slice of cake. The sugar-high he’d been riding was about to run out, and he was crashing fast. He cursed himself when Marinette nuzzled closer, pressing a soft kiss to his temple, and his exhaustion took control.

The blackness was nice at first, but purple light filled his mind, flashes of deep grey eyes glaring up at him. His eyes flew open with a jolt, and he let out a sigh.

“You okay?” Marinette asked.

She was as perceptive as ever. It was one of the things he loved about her, but it made it hard to maintain the mask.

“I’m fine.” He assured her.

“Are you ready to go to bed?” She shifted to look him in the eye.

He smiled up at her and shook his head. “I don’t want to get up just yet. Let’s just stay like this a while longer, please?”

Marinette searched his expression, blue eyes filled with worry. She laid back down after a moment, seemingly appeased, and Adrien’s battle against his eyelids resumed. When he was in the hospital, he could pace in the privacy of his room or call in a nurse if his nerves became too much to bear, and although he knew the Dupain-Cheng’s would be supportive, he couldn’t bring himself to tell them about the nightmares. He was already burdening them enough.

A couple minutes passed—or maybe it was twenty—and Marinette clicked off the TV. Adrien sat up, stifling a yawn as Marinette stretched. His phone read midnight, the start of a new day. The second longest day of his life was officially over, but the sleep haze only brought with it flashes of things he’d rather not think about.

“We should go to bed,” Marinette said, her voice low and gravelly.

“Or we could stay up and play video games.” Adrien flashed her a grin, but she wasn’t biting.

“I’m exhausted, aren’t you?” She stood up.

“Oh, come on. It’s been months since you’ve kicked my butt. Just one round.” He took her hand, tugging her back to the couch, but she stood her ground.

“I’ll kick your butt tomorrow,” she said around a yawn. She stooped to give him a quick kiss, smoothing her thumb over his lips. “Good night.”

Adrien sighed as she headed for the stairs, jumping up to chase after her. “Wait, give me a real kiss good night.”

She paused on the bottom step with a moan, and Adrien flashed her a pleading look. A coy smile curled on her lips as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He pulled her in, kissing her long and deep, but as his lips parted to invite his tongue into the equation, she pulled back with a giggle.

“I love you so much, but I’m way too tired for that. I’m falling asleep on my feet,” she said.

“Five more minutes.” He kissed the corner of her mouth. “I’ve missed you.”

With a relenting sigh, she leaned in again, running her fingers through his hair. He held her close, memorizing how her body felt against his. It wasn’t completely deceptive. He had missed her, achingly so, but her pity only lasted another minute.

“Go to bed, minou.” She squished his cheeks together. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Oh, come on. We used to stay up later than this talking on the phone.” He teased. “You’ve gotten soft.”

“Bold talk coming from M. Bloodshot-Eyebags.” Marinette cocked a hip. “Why do you want to stay up so bad? Do you not like your room?”

“No!” He insisted. “No, it’s perfect. I just… You’re right. It’s late. We should go to bed.”

Marinette quirked a brow, so he leaned in to kiss her.

“Good night, mon ange.” He flashed her a smile that faded the moment she turned around and headed up the stairs.

Rubbing his hands on his soft pajama pants, he stared down the dark void at the bottom of the stairs that led to his room. Stony eyes flashed in the abyss, and Adrien averted his gaze with a huff. Squeezing his eyes shut, he mentally sifted the image from his brain. He couldn’t stay awake forever. Shaking himself to relieve the tension in his shoulders, he made his way down the stairs, making a pit stop to the bathroom, but he could only scrub his teeth for so long before he ran out of toothpaste on the brush.

Reluctantly, he found his way into his room, but unable to bring himself to get in bed, he opted to pace instead. It got old quick—4 paces from the door to the wall, 5 paces length-wise. For the first time, he missed the massive room of his childhood. He could pace for hours there. With a defeated grunt, he flopped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling. The bed was comfortable, and although his muscles were screaming to melt into its embrace, he couldn’t give in.

The old building creaked, and the thin walls did little to drown out M. Dupain-Cheng’s snoring. Adrien drummed his fingers on his chest, curling and uncurling his toes before jumping up and resuming his pacing. 4 paces across, 5 paces deep. 4 across, 5 deep. The walls were too close. Adrien swore they got closer with each lap, and the air in the room seemed almost too thick to breathe. He needed to get out.

Stepping with the balls of his feet, he quietly crept back upstairs to the living room. He took deep breaths, running his hands down his thighs, and paused at the base of the stairs leading to Marinette’s room. M. and Mme. Dupain-Cheng would be upset if they caught him up there, and the last thing he wanted was to make them think he was taking advantage of their hospitality. But he just needed to be near someone.

Just one more kiss good night. That was all he needed. A hug and a kiss… a really, really long hug.

His feet found each step with haste, but when his hand curled around the trap door handle, they locked into place on the final steps. Hands clenched tightly and feet glued to the stairs, Adrien stood frozen like a statue in a museum. His breath hitched, a trembling hand shooting up to catch it. His shoulders shook, and for a moment, he worried he might be sick. Creeping back down the stairs as quietly as he could, he scrambled for the kitchen sink, breaths rapid and shallow. He flicked on the faucet in anticipation, but the sensation passed after a few moments. He sat up, turning the water off, and ran his hands over his face.

It was selfish… He was being selfish, always running to Marinette with his problems. And she’d always do her best to fix them because that’s the kind of person she was—always looking out for those she loves. But he couldn’t expect her to fix everything. Even still, his restlessness showed no signs of ebbing. He needed fresh air to clear his head. Just for a minute.

He found a black Marinette branded hoodie in the closet in his room and pulled it on, then laced up his sneakers. Locking the front door behind him with the key M. Dupain-Cheng gave him earlier, he headed down the stairs and out into the night. The brisk cold almost sent him right back inside, but the air was so much clearer. He blew warm breath over his hands and rubbed them together. Summer was a distant memory in the mid-December frost.

Tucking his hands under his arms to keep them warm, he paced the sidewalk in front of the bakery, hoping the movement would warm his muscles. Just one minute, then he’d go back inside. A breeze blew past, cutting right through Adrien’s hoodie, and he ground his teeth together to keep them from chattering. He needed to move faster to stay warm. A quick run would do the trick, just around the block. Then he’d go back inside.

He picked up the pace, venturing down the pavement with increasing speed. The dreary streets were empty as Adrien ran, street parked cars that had long gone cold as their owners fled indoors. He ran past Francois-Dupont, flashes of his time there playing in his mind. He remembered his first day, how nervous and excited he’d been to meet people his age. To have a normal life. A life he’d still never quite managed… but he’d met Marinette there and Nino. And Plagg… The day Ivan was akumatized.

Adrien’s mind filled with gray, and he shook his head to clear it, pushing his legs to run faster as if he could put physical distance between him and the memory. He rounded the next corner and pressed on, cold air burning his lungs, but he couldn’t stop. Not when he passed Nino’s block or his old Chinese tutor’s house, not even when he passed the street corner he and Ladybug used to meet up at. The corner he and Marinette would meet at.

Marinette… Ladybug. His partner. His girlfriend. He wanted to see her, but it was too late. She’d be asleep by now, and he shouldn’t disturb her. Even if she’d understand and listen. Even if she’d hold him and comfort him. Even if she loved him. She’d always love him. So, why couldn’t he tell her he was struggling?

The rubber soles of his shoes skittered on a patch of ice, losing their traction, and Adrien hit the cold, hard pavement with a yelp. Pain shot up his leg as his knee collided with the concrete. He rolled onto his back, chest heaving with each breath as he stared up at the towering buildings blocking the night sky.

What was wrong with him? Why was normal so hard for him? Normal people were at home asleep at this hour, and Adrien Agreste was outside, lying in the middle of the sidewalk because he was too anxious to close his eyes. Everyone kept asking him how he was doing, and most days he told them he was getting better because that’s what they wanted to hear. But was he? Some days he felt like he was, but others… They all wanted him to be fine. He wanted to be fine. He coveted their normalcy, but it always hovered just above his grasp.

He wanted to go to school and make friends, but his father forbade him from seeing them most days while plastering his image on every billboard in town. He gained fans and wealth, while other kids played games at the park. He became a superhero with a double-life, fighting bad-guys between fencing lessons and modeling gigs. Other kids ate dinner with their families. He filmed movies that normal kids went to see, posed in clothing ads that normal people bought. His father spent the majority of Adrien’s life making sure he stood out from all the rest — making sure he’d never fit in. He became a supervillain that threatened the city, just to ensure Adrien would always be talked about. To ensure that he’d never be normal.

Everyone put him on a pedestal, but he’d trade everything to be the one looking up from the crowd. To not have to feel the way he felt. To be home in bed with pleasant dreams instead of lying haunted in the middle of the sidewalk, staring up at his ghosts in the rooftops.

He missed Plagg.

“Having trouble sleeping?”

Adrien shot up, blinking at the arms crossed in a bright pink coat. Clouds of steaming breath billowed from her mouth with each heave of her shoulders, cheeks flushed from the cold. Fuzzy pink pajamas were stuffed haphazardly into winter boots, and the blue eyes looking down at him were creased with concern.

When Adrien remained quiet, Marinette shifted her weight. “Me too.”

Adrien balled his hands into fists at his sides. “How did you find me?”

“I heard you downstairs, and I got worried. When I came out of my room, you were heading out the door, so I followed you. It’s a lot harder keeping up with you without superpowers, but I’m kind of an expert at following you.” She crouched beside him, brushing his hair out of his face as she cupped his cheek. “You okay?”

He leaned into her touch, a hot tear slicing down his cheek. He couldn’t tell if he was relieved or embarrassed to have been found out. Mostly, he just loved that she cared enough to chase after him. At the shake of his head, Marinette pulled him into her arms, and he locked his arms around her waist, his quiet sobs muffled by her thick coat. He savored her warmth, a shiver creeping up his spine.

“No one expects you to heal all at once, Adrien,” she murmured in his ear. “I will always be here for you, and so will Maman and Papa and all of our friends. We all love you, and we’ll be with you every step of the way through all of the good and the bad. You don’t have to run and hide.”

“I’m sorry.” His voice shook. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m-”

“It’s okay.” She squeezed him tighter. “I’ve got you. Always.”

Always.

Marinette pulled back, taking his hands in hers. “Come on, let’s go home. It’s freezing out.”

“Yeah…” Adrien let her help him to his feet, wincing against the pain in his knee. He did his best not to limp on the way back to the bakery, keeping a tight grip on her hand.

Marinette shook herself when they were back inside. “The good thing about living above a bakery is the brick ovens keep the building warm in the winter.”

“I’m partial to the lingering smell of fresh croissants,” he said.

“That’s another plus.” She flashed him a smile, and he felt one tugging at the corners of his own lips. “Come on, let’s get you in dry clothes.”

She toted him up to the apartment, only letting go of his hand when he needed to change, but her fingers trailed up his bare back as she helped him out of his shirt. He shivered, goose bumps dotting his skin while she helped him into fresh pajamas. Her hands were small and dainty, but they kept him grounded enough to crawl into bed. Marinette laid beside him on the edge, running her fingers through his hair. He really had missed her touch.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked.

“Anything,” she said.

“What are your nightmares about?”

She paused mid-stroke, her fingers warm on his scalp. Shifting to look him in the eye, she pursed her lips. “It’s always that same day. You’re there crying on the ground, but I can’t ever reach you. No matter how hard I try, you’re always just out of reach.”

“For me, it’s my father. The moment that purple light fades, and all I see are his eyes glaring up at me with hatred and anger. I see those eyes everywhere, like he’s still looming over me. It feels like I’ll never be free of him.” Adrien squeezed her hand.

“We’ve been through too much,” Marinette said. “But we survived. Miraculously.”

“Barely.” Adrien grunted. “Is it weird that I miss how things used to be? For the longest time, all I wanted was to defeat Hawkmoth with you. To ride off into the sunset when the day was saved. It sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but now, I wish things could go back to the way they were. Fighting by your side, both in and out of the mask. I’d never been happier.”

“I know what you mean.” Marinette resumed playing with his hair, and after his stint out in the cold, he was grateful for her warmth. “For the longest time, I always thought that Hawkmoth was our biggest enemy, and that once we defeated him, things would go back to normal. We could be happy and free, but everything has been way more complicated on the other side of things. Those days seem so simple now.”

“Nothing’s simple anymore.” He sighed. “Do you think it ever will be?”

“Mmm.” She hummed. “I hope so. I think you and I more than deserve it.”

“Yeah…” He stifled a yawn.

“You should get some sleep. It’s been a long day,” she said.

“Will you stay with me?” he asked.

Marinette leaned to kiss his forehead and laid her head beside his on the pillow. “Of course, chaton. I’m here.”

Reluctant, but too exhausted to fight it any longer, Adrien closed his eyes. His body ached from his fall, but the bed was soft and warm. The steady brush of Marinette’s fingertips on the back of his neck helped ease the tension in his muscles, and he finally drifted off to sleep.

His nightmare began as it always did, but instead of shying away from his father’s piercing gaze, Adrien reached for Ladybug’s hand. When he turned to face her, her mask vanished in a flash of pink light, and Marinette smiled back at him. He wrapped himself in her embrace while she stroked his hair, warm and safe.

“I’m here, kitty. I’ve got you. Always.”

#miraculous ladybug #adrinette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain-cheng #adrienette #my writing #adrien agreste's road to recovery playlist #aarrp #nothing says christmas like childhood trauma and depression :D

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