#add a partner kid four family deaths couple decades later we're at a 7.5t truck

[kiturak]

Both of these positions completely miss the point. Obviously, as friends, we help our friends when it's necessary, and as long as we respect our own boundaries. That is the essence of the problem, though.

"If you can afford it, give work to professionals who can handle the job instead of making your friends ruin their backs and knees, or give more time than they can afford."

20 years ago, I helped a friend move who, it turns out, earned twice as much as I do even now, and who would easily have been able to pay movers. We somehow managed to carry her extensive furniture to the third floor through a narrow staircase, and my feelings back then were very much along the lines of op here.

In my family, we have done five moves in the last five years. I'm in my fourties, I'm sorry, my knees are not allowing me to do this anymore. I only recently earn enough money that we more or less could afford movers, which was heaven sent. My relative can't, so one time, we paid for movers, and the other time, a better-off cousin did.

We are by now also struggling with our own day to day in a very substantial way (as often comes with raising a kid/kids, or other responsibilities, which we did not have 20 years ago), so putting in what's often more like half a week than a single day is very much a serious strain. We still do it (just last week, still reeling), but.

This is about balancing everyones needs and ability to give.

"From each according to their ability, to each according to their needs".