#actually there's a line i loveee where beau's like 'san francisco and new york are only epicentres for those who want to gleefully measure | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

foxmulderautism · 1 year ago

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something about the emphasis of swimming and swimming in the ocean in lover boy ch1 is so fascinating to me because if i've learnt anything from this chapter it's that sf is actually a terrible place for swimming most of the time because the ocean is so much colder + summer months are not the warmest months + and so many beaches have deadly rip currents there was like. only one area/beach that came up in my reading as a place locals go to swim and a lot of the time they'll just drive down to other coastal cities. but it's getting to me because part of my diss explored analysis i read about how a lot of queer AIDS narratives involve swimming or being in water or the presence of water because it brings up ideas of cleanliness but also the boundaries of the body and the metaphors of that when a body is amongst water and the physicality of it reinforcing someones aliveness and agency over their sick body. anyway beau keeps thinking about swimming in the ocean + how he hasn't since bobby died and im like these points HAVE to come together at some point like i'm cooking but i don't know what. there is something bubbling on the stove

#like WANTING to swim in the ocean but you can't because of what your would confront about your body + aliveness and consequently #what you would have to confront about your dead best friend. but also you cant even get the catharsis from that if you wanted it #because of the nature of the ocean around you!! so do you actually get control + agency that swimming in the ocean will give you!#also swimming in the ocean (vast / unpredictable / alive) vs swimming in a pool (contained / chlorined / 'approachable')...my lit major ass #also i decided that bobby used to do lifeguard stuff part time and beau would just use it as an excuse to hang out at the beach all day #bobby gives me massive swimmer vibes which is funny cause he's bullied beau for being a 'jock' and being on a sports team in hs #like your ass was probably on the swim team!!! idk i havent decided yet!#literally me looking at tripadvisor forums and shit of sf locals having to break to future tourists that swimming is not really easy in SF #like it is in other parts of california #also it ties in with beau's experience of a local and a lot of the people he's encountering are queer folk who have #moved to sf specifically because of its queer community #despite it being seen as a 'epicentre' for AIDS #actually there's a line i loveee where beau's like 'san francisco and new york are only epicentres for those who want to gleefully measure #their distance from it all' and im like GO OFFFFF #i dont talk about that stuff as much because like I Am Not A Local. but the research is oceanically deep #SOOO Much going on here about placement and the body and your relationship with the space around you um!!!

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