#actually maybe I don't feel fine rn. I'm good at ignoring work outside work but it has taken all my energy the past 2 days and frankly I

[honigsenfsymbiont]

.

[td-frog]

thoughts on dcas e6:

the songs

honestly wasn't expecting much (tho i didn't think they'd be bad) but those were actually really good

stylistically i think magenta was my favorite but they were all really good

tom+jake+aiden

this plot is so so funny to me. *tom voice* if i avoid my problems for long enough they definitely won't become infinitely worse

also theater kid aiden going "i need to think about it because i do have a boyfriend, but stage kisses are a thing and we don't have feelings for each other so i can be okay with it"

while tom's like "ah fuck. i really should've talked to jake by now. nothing i can do i guess!" and then afterwards is like "wait do you think he was mad at me?" comedy GOLD

like to be clear so much of the humor for me here is that aiden is Not Interested. literally the entire problem is that tom is not communicating and therefore jake has no reason to know any of that. and especially now that aiden's started picking up on drama it's like. how long can you run from this? maybe you should stop running? oh, no. no he's running faster.

magenta team

i really like ally/ashley friendship. very easily could've been an us vs. them thing even with hunter out, but it makes sense that ashley wouldn't go for that.

also i really like that ally doesn't miss hunter. i think a lot of the problems with their relationship they've been hinting at so far is that ally struggles a lot with personal identity outside of other people, and hunter didn't understand or accommodate that. regardless of whether they stay together in the end, they very much needed a break so she can figure out who she is without him again and whether she actually wants to be there (and i wish her luck).

yellow team elimination

connor vs. yul as the elimination makes sense, and the fact that it was connor also makes sense (especially since yul is now getting production help with his image)

i really really like the detail that alec betrayed connor for his own good. their alliance concerned me because i like the friendship, but with the villains alliance it seemed really dangerous. and alec going "i like this man and i want him around, but being here is bad for him" is actually a really honest and mature approach.

(i also can't be assed to check handwriting, but i did notice it wasn't confirmed riya betrayed him- one vote wasn't read and it could've been against yul- but also i don't expect that to really mean anything)

rest of yellow team stuff

grett :( baby :(

she does not deserve this treatment and i know yul's going down in the end because he is so intentionally designed to be so so terrible but in the meantime :(

riya fucking up was telegraphed so hard (not a bad thing) and i appreciate how it a) makes her the obvious boot from a single challenge perspective and b) has no actual effect on the elimination.

other thoughts

don't really like what they're doing with trevor and derek. i'm sure it'll work out fine in the end but for now i'm largely ignoring it out of mild squick.

predictions

cyan team is due for elimination, although idk that they'll get it. if they do i'm guessing ellie or tom- either because ellie villain plot finally goes down against her, or tom if the love triangle plot plays out. i could see others but tbh i think this team drama works better with them making it to the merge.

if it's magenta team it's probably fiore, which makes me think it won't be magenta team.

yellow team as always is such a dumpster fire of drama. if they lose it's probably yul vs. riya but they both could have plot armor protecting them so idk.

don't have much else rn because i need to leave but hopefully e7 is able to come out on time, and even if not that the difficulties the team is facing re: leakers aren't too devastating.

[violetren]

Aether Chapter 8

So the first time Digilife and Maggie's friend Kelly was mentioned I thought to myself "Wouldn't it be cool if that was Naomi." And the thought returns when Maggie gets a notification from Digilife even though she had them turned off, and I'm like "Naomi and/or Chase could make that happen..."

Then "Kelly" drops the fact that she has two hot girl friends and I'm like "holy shit is it?"

AND THEN "Kelly" calls Sierra "stupidhead" and I'm like "CHASE??? MY BELOVED!!!"

By the time we're talking Nurse Hotness and C Cup I'm sold, and the they start discussing Chase's prolific fanfic writing and I'm just wiggling happily in my chair.

I would not be even a little surprised with Chase was about to/already had broken several data privacy laws trying to find out Maggie's status before she finally answered back.

Chase's breakdown of the different dynamics of SuperCat, SuperLane, and Dream Girl held some Opinions™ and I am very here for them. 10/10 if I was living some sad alternate reality where I didn't know Molly's fan writing prior to reading these books I'd sure as fuck know she was involved in the scene now.

Also I need to go trawling Ao3 for some good gender fluid Lucy fics after this. It's been a fucking while and I need something that stops me from burning through Aether too fast and then getting sad about it.

Breakfast was interesting.

I'm getting the impression that some of the team engage in some good natured ribbing of Varsha's quick talking and fast eating of copious amounts but that maybe it doesn't always land how they intend it? It could also be that she's a little extra put out because they are doing it in front of the pretty new girl she likes. Idk.

I did laugh at Industry and Element only tolerating each other before coffee and being ready to set on fire and otherwise torture everyone else if approached.

Sierra has me in this weird place. Because she has been through So Much what with the almost dying, almost losing her best friend, losing someone she thought she was in love/felt she was in love with for 6 years, and has spent the night in a superhero base which non-super employed folks don't usually do if life if going well.

Of course finding out her life's work is about to get confiscated is gonna have a "straw that broke the camels back" effect.

It's a lot harder to imagine things slowly going back to something like normal when the thing you'd normally throw yourself into to ignore the not normal around you is being taken away. But also it feels off that Maggie is the one taking care of her, and that she's cut up about losing the machine instead of concerned and willing to find out what the fuck part it played in her friends new condition??? I don't know.

I don't think she's a bad person and she's probably holding up better than plenty of others would. I just feel like maybe there is a faint pattern of Sierra taking more from this relationship than she gives back? And like sometimes friendships are like that and so long as the person getting less is still getting Enough that is totally fine. It's just feels off from the outside until you get that confirmation that person B (Maggie in this case) is actually getting Enough instead of settling for less for whatever reason (crush, low self esteem etc.).

On a less confusing and lighter note, I feel like Maggie's coffee order is something I would drink if I hadn't long given up on coffee as something that just gives me fast depression. Mocha with 3 shots chocolate syrup sounds yum. It also sounds warming which might be part of my attraction rn.

[chaos-and-cookies]

Omg... It really does sound like the circle of life. Love crystals....

There's different types of massages and you should've let ur bf massage and work on ur body but letting him know where and how to massage you, (fingers, palms, grips, presses, circulations etc). Massages are VERY complicated and tbh, and it keep my bf a while to pick it up... Now I sometimes have my kids step on my back once in a while 😂 lol

Also days like these, maybe he felt comfortable enough to just knock out around you. It's only the first month and I'm tired of it already. This year is already exhausting...

I really do hope the meds do kick in and you feel better. Definitely salt bathes.

I've tried... sometimes he even tries to give massages without any oil like that's gonna feel comfortable in anyway and have to tell him to stop go get the oils 😬 I've tried to tell him to stop doing certain things but he always ends up doing them again.... I even tagged him in a buzzfeed video for couples massages I saw in fb but I dont think he actually watched it 😭 and when even the smallest of things can set off my pain to be way worse I wasn't gonna let him try to learn now. I keep hoping he would learn from how I massage him but he doesn't and just continues to do things like press on my spine and squeeze the place where I'm hurt 😣 I wish my dog was still here, sometimes I would get him to stand or lay down on my back. Can't believe its about to be the 1yr anniversary of his death too 😞

Oh he's more than comfortable to just sleep wherever in my house I'm just concerned why he slept pretty much all day. I get taking a nap but this was all thru the afternoon/evening. He slept more than me! I kinda wanna ask if he sleeps better here than he does at his home because he almost always takes a nap when he's here.

Yeah this year is just gonna be the aftermath/consequences of last year tbh, I didn't have much hope for it knowing that white ppl anti maskers/vaxxers don't understand the concept of having consequences for their actions and this year is definitely gonna be full of it after ignoring them all last year. I just hope things get even a little bit better by the time spring/summer comes i just wanna be able to enjoy the warm weather again, I think I went outside maybe a handful of times last spring/summer and was always surprised when it was warm cuz I forgot winter ended 😶 I think the only date we had was a picnic when cases had went down and that was it for the whole summer. I'm so over it all and all these shitty ppls selfishness. If they had just made a law with like a $5k fine for not having ur mask on, and not having it on properly, things probably wouldn't have been nearly as bad as they've been. Like hell even Trinidad did that and they did pretty damn good during the pandemic all things considered.

I'm finally feeling a little bit better and tired after hours of waiting for these stupid pills to kick in luckily, thanks anon. I'll try to sleep soon. It's like.... 4:40am rn but I was sleeping on and off before Zahfi left at 2am so I at least got some kinda rest beforehand

[punkscowardschampions]

Hathor & Sekhmet

Hathor: About to slap myself so you'll feel it Hathor: wherever you are ain't where you should be Sekhmet: what im sleep Sekhmet: 😴😴😴 Hathor: wake up 👊🏽 Hathor: you asked me to meet you, remember? Sekhmet: I think that's tomorrow Sekhmet: I said Wednesday, right Hathor: That's today Hathor: you blackout past Tuesday? Sekhmet: You're joking Sekhmet: well then, that means I've got a deadline I gotta meet and not a whole lot of time for brunch dates Hathor: you're joking Hathor: I cancelled on a fine boy for you Sekhmet: it's so early you got time to hit it back Sekhmet: I know I didn't tell you I'd meet you at the crack of dawn Hathor: you didn't and you're late af still Sekhmet: chill sis, I'll make it up to you Hathor: yeah Hathor: anyone else'd be offended you don't ever want to have a sober conversation Hathor: but I'll see you in the club Sekhmet: girl, chill 😂 Sekhmet: how fine was he that you're all kinds of vexed with me Sekhmet: don't even care how I'm gonna make it up to you, oh my days 🥴🍆🧠 for real Hathor: he's got prospects, I'm not saying any more than that if you're not coming out 👅 Hathor: I'll care how you're gonna make it up when you next show up for real Sekhmet: ugh! living up to your name 🐮 Sekhmet: bitch I'm busy 😏 the juggle is real Hathor: you know I don't say that shit lightly except once in a blue moon, however fine a lad be looking Hathor: but if you don't wanna hear it Sekhmet: is he 🧑🏾🧑🏿 Hathor: 🥛 Hathor: nobody is more surprised than me Sekhmet: 👏🙌 yay Sekhmet: I told you, white boys are the best Sekhmet: they treat us like 👸 Hathor: It's his Irish accent tricking me Hathor: I gotta take a trip back and cure myself Sekhmet: awh, you're homesick, precious Sekhmet: now it makes sense why you wanna tie me down Hathor: can barely understand him he's from so far north, more likely that Sekhmet: throwback 📟 📠 📺 📻 Hathor: get the psych dept to pull their shrink shit on me about it Sekhmet: You wanna be just like Vee, sorted Sekhmet: take my PhD now 💁 Hathor: be more disrespectful! first you stand me up and then put that out there Sekhmet: 🤭 you've got a ways to go, even if you're rolling mad extra today Hathor: I didn't ask 👼🏽💘 to 🎯 me up in the 🍑 Hathor: got my own things I'm busy with Sekhmet: love is magic 💖 Sekhmet: don't be complaining in my inbox when I'm tragically single Hathor: I've been serving and swerving him for long enough I thought I'd succeeded, there's the complaint Sekhmet: 🙄 you can't ❌ feelings bitch Hathor: white boys are a different animal, I ❌ the fear of Sekhmet: 😍😍😍 Hathor: I'm not here to be treated like a 👸🏽 if that's one step away from being called 'exotic' Hathor: there's nothing sexy about a power imbalance Sekhmet: most girls would disagree, babe Sekhmet: why do you wanna be run of the mill every day when we been #blessed with this 🔥 Sekhmet: all black guys wanna chat about is my light-skin privilege and their black man struggles, I can't 🥱 Hathor: fetishization like that ain't foreplay I'm interested in Hathor: 👑 me for other reasons than my melanin Sekhmet: insecurities SNAPPED, I'm sure he likes you for more than your skin, you crazy Hathor: he likes me for how I pour measures rn Sekhmet: racial Sekhmet: that's why everyone likes you 💃💃💃 Hathor: on account of being a poor student not Northern Irish, don't be biting the hand that feeds your blackouts Sekhmet: my white boys always pay Hathor: #blessed innit Sekhmet: 👸😇 tings Hathor: which white boy you with ignoring your deadline then? Sekhmet: whoever it is they've gone to work Sekhmet: but they left a 💳 with their cute note so I know I'm in a good postcode still 🙏 Hathor: so come meet me and spare mine, that's the right thing to do Sekhmet: just 'cos it's good doesn't mean I'm not lost still, damn Sekhmet: hold on and let me get dressed and get my bearings Hathor: if your phone ain't drained I can use it to get your bearings while you serve a look Sekhmet: who doesn't have a charger in their hoe 👜 PLEASE Hathor: you didn't know what day it was, can't blame me for 👶🏽ing Sekhmet: where would I be without you 😘 Sekhmet: mum hasn't phoned me in ages actually, it's so rude Sekhmet: I missed the last few but still Hathor: I hit her with your highlights, creatively Hathor: like how I won't mention a white boy making me feel like a baby 🐮 that can't walk Sekhmet: 😶��� Sekhmet: dad would 😥 Hathor: and she'll 🙌🏽 harder than you've done Sekhmet: facts are facts Sekhmet: look at her dad, Vee's... Hathor: cliches are tired and stereotypes are damaging Sekhmet: @ your white boy with the 👋 then booboo Sekhmet: I think dad's in town working today, you wanna come for dinner with us? 🥂 Hathor: he's not mine to command in or out 👅 Hathor: yeah 🍾 will help Sekhmet: I'll teach you Hathor: those twin stereotypes are damaging too, like Sekhmet: oh hush, I only tried to 💋 you ONE time and we were like babies and that boy was the first great love of my life Sekhmet: anyway, you're like hot but not my types type these days, you know Hathor: that boy was trash Hathor: you levelled up fast though Sekhmet: awh, don't be rude, I have fond memories Hathor: I have loads of him trying to ask me out at the same time Sekhmet: oh yeah Sekhmet: I forgot that happened Sekhmet: his hair was gorgeous though Hathor: it was Sekhmet: good times Sekhmet: my new guy, not this one, the actual one, looks like old school Leo, I SWEAR Hathor: Yeah? Sekhmet: like Leo and a bit of River and Ryan Philippe in Cruel Intentions Sekhmet: 🥰🥰🥰 Hathor: love of your life material Sekhmet: definitely Sekhmet: he's a trader in the city and his apartment is 😱😱😱 Hathor: what's the age range this time? Sekhmet: he's only 26, it's mad how successful he is already Hathor: he sounds like the full 🎟 Hathor: any catch? Sekhmet: only technically Hathor: technically he's a 🤖? Sekhmet: ha, he totally has the stamina of one Sekhmet: he can keep up with me, almost 😉 Hathor: 👌🏽 he's perfect Hathor: fucking hell Sekhmet: no need to be jealous when you're 🥰 yourself Sekhmet: what does he look like? Hathor: Tall enough Hathor: more like a 🥊 than a 👼🏻 Sekhmet: you really do wanna do great grandpa Sekhmet: jk, he sounds so you Hathor: he does work for the main brewery that supplies us, maybe I do Hathor: Jesus Christ Sekhmet: 😂😬 processing that Sekhmet: not really though, every boy I've ever dated has been like dad, it's unavoidable tbh 💁 Hathor: in our postcode nobody's trying very hard to be anything else Hathor: 💰💳💎🍾 Sekhmet: why would they? Hathor: they wouldn't and they aren't, it'd be terrifying for any of those boys to step out Sekhmet: 🙄 you aren't going to throw yourself down a ladder when you're at the top, babe Hathor: wouldn't kill them to give other people a hand up though, they just act like it Sekhmet: 🥱 when's your deadline? Hathor: my work's done Sekhmet: then button it, loser Sekhmet: you wanna eat out on this nice rich boy's 💳 Hathor: ETA of 15 on getting to you Hathor: you best 🚿 Sekhmet: way ahead of you 🛀 Sekhmet: door's unlocked, our breakfast will hopefully be on the table when you get here Sekhmet: love ubereats Hathor: 🙌🏽 Sekhmet: you can bring it through, the view in this bathroom is immense Sekhmet: thought getting the driver to bring it to the tub was unlikely Hathor: he probably would but it's unlikely I'd recover from walking in on it Sekhmet: 😘 Sekhmet: do fuck with an asian boy Hathor: you don't know he will be Hathor: might not even be a lad Hathor: but if it is, guarantee they'll send the most unexpected one Sekhmet: it usually is, your stereotypes be damned Hathor: what are you gonna bet? Sekhmet: the Belgian 🧇s Hathor: you're on Sekhmet: sometimes you shock me with how green you are, Hath Hathor: back to putting disrespect on me, what a nice truce while it lasted, like Sekhmet: I mean, you know I can see the driver on my app, babe Sekhmet: no points for guessing where Hassan is from Sekhmet: you can have the 🧇s anyway Hathor: you know I can read your thoughts, the playing field is level Hathor: and anyway I like green, that's my boy's eye colour Sekhmet: been gazing into them longingly across the bar have we🤭 Hathor: maybe Sekhmet: so cute Sekhmet: hope this one doesn't have a fiancee Sekhmet: or a maid who thinks we've broken in Hathor: if he does he better break that eye contact with me Sekhmet: I meant Mr Black Card, don't worry Sekhmet: he's a student, yeah? he won't be Hathor: he's only got a year on us, I don't predict an engagement Sekhmet: yeah, doubt it Hathor: outside of our family people aren't usually that extra Sekhmet: some of the asian internationals are but they usually cheat if their intended ain't here yet so Hathor: Yeah Sekhmet: what even does an engagement mean anyway Sekhmet: not much, right Hathor: a flash 💍 Hathor: what's my course teaching me if I don't know the statistics on how often a wedding follows? Hathor: shows how outdated it is Sekhmet: he gives me that anyway Hathor: I'd take a phone number and be happy with it for now Hathor: but it's probably the party and that whole flex too, right? Sekhmet: the dress Sekhmet: but it's irrelevant if it doesn't happen, like you said Hathor: 🎁🎁 even if it doesn't if people bring them for the engagement as well, but you're not going short of any Sekhmet: right Sekhmet: 😥 if you need a wedding for attention Hathor: Jay's birth mum QUAKING Sekhmet: omg I bet that's EXACTLY what his fiancee is like Hathor: does he ever speak about her? Sekhmet: obviously not Sekhmet: but she must never come up from wherever they're from because I'm like ALWAYS over so Hathor: maybe she doesn't know about this place Hathor: old school Sekhmet: Who knows Sekhmet: can't be my problem Hathor: Yours is the day you've missed, like Hathor: what's the assignment? Sekhmet: design some sportswear line Sekhmet: got to get the sketches in by 5, but all I ordered for me was a shit ton of coffee, it'll be fine Hathor: more productive if I stay or go? Sekhmet: you've already missed your date, you may as well stay Hathor: okay Hathor: am the sportier one Sekhmet: how are you 😂 Hathor: ⚽⛹🏽🚴🏽🥊 Hathor: why dad loves me more than you Sekhmet: now I know you're talking nonsense 😏 Hathor: True, he loves Vee and she never gets off her chaise Sekhmet: and she doesn't even love him back Hathor: poor dad Sekhmet: yeah Hathor: what time's dinner with him? Sekhmet: I'll ask him when he wants to go Hathor: about to come up, so whatever you were planning for Hassan, this is me Sekhmet: regrettably noted

[warnerbro]

can't keep my hands to myself.

Boo: [So Boo's walking. FINALLY. He feels like he can run. He can, but he's supposed to take it easy. RigHT. He's out and about. Buying groceries. Cleaning his parent's house, working on the plants outside. I guess it's summer? Cilla's apparently has been around, and I'm sure they've agreed to hang out, which is what they are doing??? She walks up. There is a grin. Because it never fades okay. And somehow they've never touched upon that last conversation at lunch right? right. But I'm sure like Celine Dion it all came back, and yeah, Boo's totally remember why, how and exactly when he fell in love Cilla all over again. And it's painful, because he knows he should stay away but fight him, he won't. So she's walked up, Boo gives her a ~Hey, and crossed his arms over his chest.]

Cilla: [Cilla's walking a veRY thin line right now, heading over to Boo's parents' place again and again, especially with her fiance not knowing that that's what she's doing, but now that it was the position she'd put herself in, she couldn't imagine wanting to change it. It wasn't like she was doing anything wrong. They were just friends again, that was all. Donnie would freak out over just that, but that didn't make it wrong. Just friends. No big deal, right? None. So, she comes up to the house, and sees Boo, that big grin on his face as usual nowadays, and she gives a soft smile back.] ~Hey back.

Boo: So, i'm gonna need you to change your shoes. [he looks down at her feet.] No holes in my grass. Fresh new, nice grass. [There's a sigh and an ulterior motive. An idea in mind-- because member that one lake? they gOIN.]

Cilla: [She looked down in confusion, then right back up to Boo.] You say that like I bought an extra pair of shoes with me. [GOD THE LAKE I DIE.]

Boo: Well I'll just have to carry you then. [because when isn't he carrying Cilla at this point?]

Cilla: [And, as I'm sure it has multiple times in these past few months, her face heats up.] You're supposed to ~take it easy~, Boo.

Boo: [he shakes that big head of his,] Nope. Don't believe in that. Plus, I'm sure I could run a mile right now. But I did have some plans in mind. [ ... for us.......... to hang out.... only.... no other ideas... i swear. ]

Cilla: [She doesn't care, she still feels concern. Like, geez, dude. R E S T.] Plans, huh~? [There is a /hint/ of innuendo in her voice, but honestly, she doesn't mean for it to be that way.] Alright, then. Just don't hurt yourself.

Boo: [So he makes her cover her eyes the whole way fyi, though I'm sure she's been here reCENTLY WITH DONNIE IRPRIp, and I don't know how they get there. maybe cil just walks like a normal person, maybe boo carries her, maybe they take a car because i'm sure it's not actually walking distance but either way Cilla has a blindfold okay. And they arrive because fastFORWARD. ]

Cilla: [Her eyes are still covered I'm presuming, and she's getting this air of deja vu, because this has totally happened before, and she's being lead by Boo, I suppose. She has an idea of what this might be, because, okay, Boo. I see you. But not really, I'm blindfolded.] Can I take this off now?

Boo: HOld, on. Just a minute, Cil. [ so he hurrieS AND CIRCLES THE CAR, OPENS HER DOOR.] now. [REMOVES THE BLINDFOLD. AND LET'S SAY THERE IS A NICE SUNSET LAKE In FRONT OF HER GDI.]

Cilla: [The blindfold drops, and YUP, it's the lake. Good deja vu instincts. She gets this REALLy big smile on her face, because, no, she probably hasn't been here in awhile. Take that. Then she turns her smile from the pretty sunset, back to Boo.] You dweeb.

Boo: [car door slam.] Says the one who was just wearing a blindfold...............................

Cilla: [And she's just gonna INFORM HIM of the fact that it's been awhile.] I haven't been here in ages.

Boo: [So i'm gonna say they are walking towards now? he picks at some plants along the way sure.] Before I moved back home, I would have said the same thing. [ NEW YEARS EVE ] I had forgotten how great it is. How pretty the sky gets, when you're gone for so long you just lose a certain appreciation for some things [THINGS AND YA MAYBE HE MEAN SPEOPLE. OR ONE SPECIFIC ONE WHO IS RIGHT NEXT TO HIM MHM.]

Cilla: Yeah, it's gorgeous. [And she's nodding in agreement with him, and though Parrish sees that double meaning, Cilla does not.] It's like practically nothing's changed. Like, all this time, and it all feels-- looks the same.

Boo: [did i mention he's carrying a blanket, because he is. and they are gonna sit. okay. well he does at least. he leaves room for her. let's watch the sunset k. he nods at her words, though, I'm sure he disagrees to much of an extent. Things are completely changed. And somewhere along all of that time spent away from Cilla and the lake, it's almost too much of a memory that once was. It's something he definitely wants back, but he doesn't press.] It feels the same... [he agREES to tHA TFINE.]

Cilla: [Yup. And that's really all she meant. That it feels the same, but she backtracked on herself yikes. So, she takes a seat on the blanket, almost wearily, because, sitting on a blanket at sunset together? Yikes again. There she is, looking at the pretty sunset, contemplating what the hap is fuckening. She's gonna contemplate and enjoy the view. Sorry bro.]

Boo: [fine we can do silence. we can do painful silence. Because Boo can just sit on with her while contemplating ALL of his horrible life choices especially where they all started... which was ThanKSGIVING A LONG TIME AGO.]

Cilla: [Cilla is now growing tense under thIS WEIGHTY SILENCE, because silences... never good, man. Sometimes worse than screaming. Yup. She shifts a little uncomfortably, throwing a side-glance at Boo who doesn't really seem all that fazed by the fact that they are /just sitting there/. 12 years ago this would have been no problem; normal even. Now it spoke volumes more-- because was he in the middle of thinking too hard too? Geez. More silence growing on.]

Boo: [he feels said side glance, k, he chooses to ignore it for awhile, as his eyes are pressed on the sunset in front of him, but he's having his quiet time. Contemplation runs wild, because yes, he is thinking way too hard, as I'm sure he has been since he tore his god damned acl, and so finally addressing Cilla's side glace he speaks.] What..? [there's a half smile half laughter because stop being weird]

Cilla: [She's torn away from her hap fuckenings because of Boo's voice, and so she turns to him, shifting yet again so she's angled towards him fully.] I'm just-- thinking. I don't know.

Boo: Oh. [he sighs a little too contently because nothign can ruin this moment for him. okay. he's happy. watching the sunset with his old best friend.] Penny for your thoughts?

Cilla: [She sighs, not so contently, because she's SO LIKE, WTF TO EVERYTHING, AND SHE CAN'T GET OVER IT.] I... don't know, Boo. I don't know. I'm thinking about too much. I don't know.

Boo: So... stop thinking? [ya because life's so easy when you're boo warner.]

Cilla: [Nothing but a straight up look of 'are you joking'?]

Boo: [he laughs.] Fine. [retract because bad advise.] What are you thinking about?

Cilla: [She pauses. What exactly does she want to divulge about her thoughts? Geez.] I don't know. This. Right now. Everything. I don't know.

Boo: [it doesn't occur to him, any one of her thoughts. They do not occur to him, because all this time it was one sided. His resurfacing memories-- it was just his guilt, his regret all coming back.] I... [hopefully it was.] I feel it too. [ he picks at some grass at the edge of the blanket I'ms ure.]

Cilla: ... What do you feel? [that's what you get. just that.]

Boo: Just... Memories. [there's a shrug.] That's it. [downcast look. he goes quiet because that's what you get.]

Cilla: [She sighs, because she thought maybe she was getting somewhere as far as him explaining why she was suddenly someone he wanted to see after all of this time, but, of course. No dice. So, maybe she needed to be more straightforward?] Boo... It's not like it was. That's-- clear. What-- What changed? [she didn't even look at him asking this question. I'm sure the sun's down by this point. I guess, so like, harder to see facial expressions now.]

Boo: ["What's changed?"] Ha. [There's a chuckle, a silent one, and maybe only air comes out of his mouth, as that question completely baffles him.] I think that's the thing. [he stares off into the sunset, as I'm sure they are avoiding eye contact.] Nothing ever changed for me, Cilla.

Cilla: [She shakes her head at that, too quickly. Way too quickly, like she's trying to press the escape button on the metaphorical computer of life, yes.] No, don't... Don't say that. You--... [she paused, taking in a breath. and suddenly she became much more serious. more allie on a dock in the rain kind of serious.] Then why? Why didn't you try to fight for me? Why didn't you say something-- other than-- other than how much you couldn't stand me. I know I didn't make it easy, but--... but that didn't change anything for me either! [we are the epitome of allie rn.]

Boo: You didn't make it easy??? You didn't make it easy? Ha. You made it really god damn hard, Cilla! [gives her an ARE YOU SERIOUS look because?!?] You'd made up your mind about me based off of one stupid mistake. [hands in his hair old boo warner is coming because omg he's gonna puLL HIS HAIR OUT ALL OVER AGAIn.]

Cilla: You don't have to remind me of the things I did. I remember. And I know all the things I said, and I know all the things I did, Boo, but... Just because I said one thing, it didn't mean that it was over for me. And it wasn't. It wasn't over for me! And I waited for you for /so long/. But now it's-- [she glances down at her engagement ring and then back to Boo.] it's too late. [she shrugs, probably holding back patented Cilla tears.]

Boo: Well guess what, Princess, it wasn't over for me, either. [deADPAn.] If that wasn't completely obvious. No matter what you did, no matter how much I tried to... No matter which Rocket got in the way...[ his weight on his now shakey palms bcs hearing this is, let's be completely honest, is music to Boo's ears. Not her tears-- though, he sure was used to them by now, but GDI, that was all he needed to hear for what was to come next.] It's not too late. [ shaking his HEAD BCS NOPE, and just to show her that is completely undeniably not over, he's gonna grab that stupid pretty face of hers and kiss those god damn lips.]

Cilla: [The back of Cilla's mind was screaming, but there was an even louder screaming coming from the front of her mind, blocking the things in the back that were saying 'stop while you're ahead'. Because, honestly, all she'd wanted to hear all these years were those words coming from him. She was ready to respond, but before she could realize what was going on, Boo was kissing her. And as much as she wanted to tell herself that she should stop, she couldn't. She just pressed further into him, because it'd been 12 years too long, man.]

Boo: [HERE WE GO AGAIN. With his hands in Cilla's hair there is some much kissing going on. and on a blanket, in front of the lake and the sun is going down. She's pressed all to close, and his heart is beating so hard and loud in his chest, that the only way to silence it, was too pull her closer. Yes, he'd die happy, there, and then, rolling around on a blanket and kissing the love of his life RIP.]

Cilla: [THERE IS BLANKET ROLLING AND SO MANY KISSING, and yes, all thoughts except for the ones about book warmer are all gone from her mind, just like that. She's weak, swooning even. But, nope. We can't continue this here. Because book warmer needs to do some lifting in this situation. SO. She pulls back, almost a mirror from Christmas, minus the snow. But that same ~look~ is there.] Take me back to your house.

Boo: [and as much as Boo wants to go on, as much as he wanted to continue everything good that was going on there on that goddamn blanket. He doesn't. All he needed was that one kiss to prove Cilla was right, and he got it, right? And maybe that oNE just so happened to turn into more than a kiss, and maybe she WAS looking at him with those big beautiful eyes, so just like normal old Cilla Dodgeson always had-- she left him breathless, weak, and completely under her spell. Huffing for air, and trying to still his heart, he nodded. So he stopped. He shook his head, he pulled away, and let out an inaudible groan and himself sure. He stared at her. His lips on a raging fire because they had been deprived of something so great, but rose to his feet, and held out his hand for her. like come on let's go find a kitchen table instead.]

Cilla: [So, without another word, she grabbed his hand and stood from the blanket. Logic, at this point, is all but turned off for Cilla, as it tended to do when it came to *coughcough* physicality with Boo Warner. So, she waited for him to lead the way, breathin all heavy, and all excited for the kitchen table. Yup.]

Boo: [So he leads her to the car, holding her hand all the way there. He stop to open the car door for her, but I'm just gonna say before letting her step in he gives her one more kiss. just becAUSE HE CAN. So the car ride I'm sure is going to be painfully silent, and so they arrive back home. Boo pulls into the drive way, and ya he's going to sit there and stare at her again. Keys out of the ignition. He sighs and plants them eyes on her, and gives her a look, like are we doing this.]

Cilla: [She doesn't ALLOW herself to turn her thinking back on, even while she's just sitting in the car. That would be far too dangerous. But, when the car stops, and Boo just looks at her, she reads that unspoken question, and with the biggest sigh, she says nothing, but she just grabs him by the shirt and pulls him towards her, pressing lips together, and holding that kiss for at least twelve long, hard seconds. Then she pulls back, raising an eyebrow like, 'dOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION']

Boo: [Boo Warner had never felt so in over his head in his life, that was until Cilla kissed him once more. Just as a car ride was easy to calm him, there were her lips to remind him of everything he had missed out on. And as cruel that reminder happened in a car of all places, the look in her eyes sealed his fate. So she pulled away, and he pulled on the car door handle, and he was out in a matter of seconds, because there was no more waiting. they weren't kids anymore, there wasn't time to waste. He had a lady to kiss, even more, so when he circled back around the car to meet her, he pressed his lips so hard against hers, that sure she was raised up, and sure he was definitely lifting her up and it wasn't BEFORE LONG UNTIL makING OUT against the car got old, so there they go ACROSS THE ThreSHOLD OF HTE WARMER RESIDENCE, and torn acl? NOPE, against, the car, against the front doorway, and YEP.]

Cilla: [Again, everything seemed to be calling back to when they were teenagers. The car, the way she felt, the way she was being lifted up into Boo's arms, the fear that something was going to interrupt them. Everything was the same. She was no longer in control. Every action was a reaction to Boo, and yup, she was against a doorway. Was she now trying to get clothes off? You guessed it. Difficult, given she's pressed against a door. But she's trying with all of her might to get some form of clothing off. Oooooooh boy.]

Boo: [Where were his clothes? Mostly gone, yep. Her's? Surely, some were being ripped off now? And where were they? It was hard to keep track from all the bumping into furniture, and into hallways and out of them. There weren't words to express 1. how passionately, 2. how carefully, and 3. how intensely that boy-- or rather full grown man was handling that lady. There were too many emotions boiling over and he'd be cruel to stiffle any of it from that woman, so he didn't. With every kiss, with every touch, with every breath, he made sure that she was aware of how exactly he was feeling, felt, and would always feel. As there were so many emotions for her in the past- he'd admired her, he loved her, he hated her, but in every moment of his life, he'd always just wanted her. He was thankful that there on that kitchen table she was giving herself to him, or rather-- just her clothing, sh, in returen and surely if she wanted to she could take his heart and lock it away in that old locket of hers, seal it shut, and toss away the key. Just like their first time, just like every other time they had spent together with their bodies entwined it would never be enough to fully express how much that wonderful human being meant to him. So he placed careful nibbles at the nape of her neck as the wooden table served as a pillow to his head, I GUESS>]

Cilla: [Her head was swimming. With what? Too many things, and all of them about how she was feeling in this moment. Emotionally, that is. (Though...) She couldn't keep track of where they were, where various pieces of clothing had fallen, when the last time she took a breath in was... She was lost; one hundred percent, completely lost. And, really, it all felt too much like a dream. (One that she'd had-- too many time over the past 12 years.) But it had to be real. It had to. Because while it felt like a dream, it also felt too /real/ to not be reality. The dreams never felt like this; never had this much pure emotion. Because, suddenly, she was sixteen again, and every touch Boo gave felt like the first one all over again, and it was like she was floating. Because, everything made her remember just /how much/ it had never been over, or would ever be over. It made her realize that this was an inevitability. So, when his lips moved to her neck, giving her a chance to speak, though completely breathless, here we go--] I want to make you-- forget you've ever /ever/-- been with anybody else. It's just me.

Boo: [She spoke, and her words sent tingles up his spine. TINGLES. HELP. BUT Little did she know that it was already just her. Or it would be, from now until he was old and dead. Nail in the coffin, as he nodded, because, Princess, go on, and make me forget, k. so in between breaths his lips found their way back to hers, and his hands surely pinned hers against that stupid dumb kitchen table-- until finally he scooped her back up in his arms and they were moving again, and headiNG toWARDS THE BEDROOM. with her legs wrapped tightly around his waist, help bye. ican't]

Cilla: [Ups-a-daisy she goes, wrapped up around him again in a lovely quick trip to the bedroom, with lots of kisses along the way. Then she's on a bed, and now that she's not pinned down somewhere, she's going to take this opportunity to roll herself on top, and this is where the forgetting starts, because boy howdy, she's not a little sixteen year old anymore, damn it. She is a GROWN-ASS WOMAN, and she knows what she's doing. So, her hands are going to his hair, and her lips are going to his neck. And forget chaste pecks, son. That's not happening here. Nope. The goal here is to leave Cilla marks. M a n y Cilla marks. This is her territory. Deal with it.]

Boo: [So, sure, there they went, crashing down into the soft mattress, or rather-- there went Boo. He was joined,of course, and in her natural state, Cilla Dodgeson was driving Boo Warner completely insane. Mark after each and every mark, he grew restless, and it probably showed as his fingers were completely tangled in her hair. So he dealt with it. Yeah, because he had to, but it wasn't for long, as he was determined to rip the remaining clothes off of that woman. And once they were, he kissed her once more. It was a peck of a kiss, and he pulled away to catch his breath, but somewhere in between, his eyes landed on hers, and even more so, it all came flooding back. The memories. That feeling inside of him, that juvenille, young feeling of complete happiness-- the one feeling he'd lost so long ago, when he lost her. It came back. So he stared for as long as patience allowed, until he finally kissed her, tenderly as he pressed her closer to him and definitely rolling them over and definitely bye]

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Ava

Grace: you okay babes???! Ava: The furthest from without actually being 💀 Grace: Oh my god what even?! aren't you at that uni thing? Ava: For a few more hours yet, give me strength Ava: Last night was Ava: nah Grace: last night was a sorority girl horror 📽🎞 or like ??? Ava: Allegedly a thing but I've yet to see anyone rocking a skinhead without it being a Choice™ Ava: So, everyone else did go to the 📽🎞 last night but I pulled a sickie 'cos Ava: well, that can do one as a concept but also Ava: Are you sure you even want this? It's a whole saga, like 🙄😫 Grace: duh x 10000 Grace: there's nothing anyone can tell me about mean girls 🔪💔 we can skip 📽🎞 when I've IRL lived it Grace: & obvs! talk to me I'm BEYOND concerned Ava: There are no mean girls Ava: and I think the shit I pulled is beyond a Regina level even Grace: UM no way are you casting yourself 👑 thanks! what happened?! Ava: Sorry but you can try and come for the 👑 after I tell you Ava: So they get current pupils to show you around, do the tour, answer questions, do the whole programme with you, right? Ava: Must be good extra credit or whatever, anyway Ava: There's this guy, and the whole time there's this total...vibe, you know? And I'm not delusional or sad like that, its an actual thing but I know him, know of him Ava: so I know why I should just ignore it, but instead when everyone is out, I DM him Grace: excuse you bitch I'm literally reformed but like putting that ASIDE cos this is so much more IMPORTANT!😱😱 Grace: so are we talking a phoneful of regret or IRL walk of shame? Ava: We talked for a while, so I have literal evidence it wasn't just one-sided but truly do not wanna be that girl but like, I swear Ava: anyway, we did go out, properly and it was Ava: so good Ava: but then he had to go and now I have to die Grace: duh it was 😍😍😍 I know what a vibe means Grace: he has a gf yeah? honey we've ALL done it don't even stress he's obvs not that into her Ava: No its Ava: more complex Ava: there's Ava: well, he's married Ava: but he's not as old as that makes him sound but yeah, clearly quite into her Grace: Ew! What's with everyone getting 💍👰 Grace: if Janis gets proposed to I'm kmsing Grace: it doesn't sound that complex though babes, don't let this family fool you, 💔💍 is such a thing™ Ava: Can't see it myself Ava: they are cute though Ava: of course but I'm not out here doing that myself, that's Buster's bread and butter, not mine Ava: they have kids as well, two Grace: 🙄🤢 Grace: totally but we literally NEVER have to tell her or them that shh Grace: well that explains it 🤰👰💍 he probs doesn't even love her Ava: My lips are sealed Ava: One of them is like...6 or something and the other is a baby so there's like no excuse Ava: It didn't come to anything more than a kiss but I'm mortified Grace: 6? How old is he?! Ava: Again, not as old as that makes him sound Ava: 22 ish, in his last year Grace: THANK GOD! I was literally picturing like a hot 40 Ava: Somehow that would be less complicated Ava: Unless he was a friend of my parents or something but not trying to hit every cliche before I even start Uni Grace: UGH! remember when I went to the fair with that lad who turned out to be 19 & everyone lost it like I was being groomed 🙄 Grace: such a drama Grace: this seriously doesn't sound that bad Grace: either he's bored of her or having his 🍰 & 😋 Grace: who stopped it at 😘😘? Ava: Well, he did turn out to be a creep didn't he Ava: but he could've been a 15 year old creep as easily, I see your point Ava: He did Ava: his phone kept going off Ava: it must've been her Grace: yeah & like I totally worked it out for myself from reading the vibe Grace: same as you last night Grace: 😱😱😱 Grace: did he answer? did you literally have to sit there 🤐!!! Ava: I think I might've got the vibe seriously wrong Ava: well, no Ava: I don't know Ava: we were in a club, he couldn't Ava: but we left real quick and he hasn't looked at me today so that's been fun Grace: oh girl please Grace: trust, as someone who has gotten the vibe wrong WAY more times than we need to admit outside of this convo, you so didn't Grace: he's having a freakout, we've ALL been there too, yeah? Ava: Clearly Ava: 😂 Ava: Oh God Ava: I just need to pretend this never happened and peace Grace: come over Grace: we'll go out & make some new drama happen Grace: soon as you do, you'll know if he's bothered Ava: Sounds good Ava: If I didn't have two other Unis to hit before Summer officially starts 🙄 Grace: OMG you're so extra Ava: Rude 😂 Ava: Not as if I can go here now, is it? Ava: I'm burning through options, girl Grace: ILY for it 💜 Grace: did you wanna go there for real? Ava: Not hugely Ava: it was in my top 5 but its definitely not �� Grace: 🤷💅 Grace: it was obvs a 🏆💋 so Ava: seriously Ava: though I'm probably gonna find out that he's made time for every girl on this program Grace: did you pick up on any other vibes? Ava: I don't think so Ava: He did say other girls were flirting with him though Grace: 😂 boys always say that Grace: literally will have been hitting refresh waiting on you 💬 Ava: Or, they really were and that was a subtle dig that I just ignored Ava: 🤡🤡 Grace: ugh don't Grace: nobody's looked hotter the morning after babes Grace: he'd be the 🤡 Ava: Minus the HP🗲 scar Ava: idk where that came from, which doesn't bode well for how trashed I must've been Grace: if he was as wasted maybe he doesn't remember & that's why he blanked you cos everything is Grace: 👋 been there Ava: I wish Ava: like I said, we know each other Grace: do you know his 👰? Ava: 😶 Ava: Just kill me now Grace: has he posted anything? Ava: About how much he 💕 his wife and kids? Ava: Fuck knows Grace: well yeah or idk how wasted he was Grace: anything to go on Ava: His 👰 would not approve Grace: if he doesn't have like a private snap he's no 💔 Ava: Wasn't my first question Ava: Probably does but bit late to ask now Grace: you literally could Grace: cringe but no more cringe than running into him playing happy families when you go get coffee Ava: I'm just gonna leave it Ava: Not a moment too soon Grace: 👌👌💜 Ava: When the alcohol leaves my system my head will be less 🤯 Ava: Standard Grace: his too though Grace: maybe he'll come to you Grace: 🤞 yeah or 🤞 no? Ava: I don't know what I want Ava: or feel about any of it Ava: It's better to just assume nah, a pleasant surprise is always better than disappointment Grace: mhmm Ava: Shut up Ava: I'm confused and hungover, I don't know anything 🙄😏 Grace: no shade Ava: I know Ava: This is too extra Ava: even from me, right Grace: you can wear the 👑 until I earn it back Grace: cos duh who's more extra Grace: me, this hoe Ava: 😂 I'm ready for it Grace: you gotta let me have it there's no 😘💖😍 in my 🔮 Ava: Not even a little? Grace: there was a little but it got too much Grace: too close to being like Grace: I can't Grace: I'm out Ava: I don't think it's all it's cracked up to be, honestly Grace: makes me feel like I'm cracking up Grace: no thanks Ava: Preaching to the converted today Grace: 🙌 Ava: I'll definitely come over some point this Summer though Grace: YAY Grace: I so need you Ava: I think me and the 'rents are going the first two weeks, then I'm going with my friends the last two Ava: so sometime in the middle to play with Grace: ugh if only my mum and dad were organised about anything ever Grace: god knows when or where they'll spring a hol 🙄🙄 Ava: All fun and games Ava: least you get more space these days, I guess Grace: if they're gonna be annoying I'll just bring you with 🤷 Ava: Three holidays would be a record Grace: hot older lad who?! 😂 Grace: Brazil is on another level Ava: If there's sun and sea, I'm happy Grace: you'll be sooo 😊 Ava: 😘 Grace: 💜 Ava: I did not think that would be such a rant Ava: IOU a coffee, I'll ping you the funds rn forreal Grace: As if! like I've NEVER done you that way Grace: shhh Ava: It's done Ava: Consider it a reminder we need a proper catch up when my head is less fried Grace: 👌👌 fine Ava: Don't be mad, it is essential some good happens today Grace: It's fine babes, promise Ava: Good Ava: I better try and finish this essay thing Ava: Or at least make a better start Grace: or at least get yourself a coffee & put some lipstick on Ava: Cheers, I know I look clapped 😂 Grace: shut up Grace: you do not! Ava: I wouldn't wanna chat to me either tbh Grace: Girl, stop Grace: this convo has been wild & I'm living Ava: I meant him, not you 😉 Ava: Only subjected socials to one pic, like Grace: well duh he wants to kiss you again not have a chat Grace: if you wanna talk you'll have to Grace: there's only one kind of convo lads ever start Ava: Hmm Ava: Have better luck with this essay than thinking of something worth saying Grace: what do you wanna say? Grace: like if you could just Ava: Christ Ava: firstly, what the fuck? Grace: he can't shade you for starting there Ava: Though I initiated it so, ugh Grace: he didn't have to go along with any of it Grace: his wife & kids were literally waiting at home for him so Grace: you like deserve to know if there are other girls or not Ava: What's more insane though Ava: asking around every girl on this course, or asking him Ava: There are definite drawbacks either way from where I'm sitting Grace: you said you know him, how much does he lie? Grace: asking him will be more than cringe if you can't believe a word, it'll be pointless Ava: I don't know him like that but Ava: I suppose I've heard that he's a typical lad in most regards so Grace: yeah Ava: but that's from one source so Ava: who's to say they're 100% reliable Grace: right Grace: I'll stalk the other girls, obvs am insane so Ava: No Ava: 'cos then I'll have to tell you who he is Ava: and it'll all get out of hand Grace: OMG do I know him??! Ava: How would you? Ava: 'course not Grace: then why does it matter if you tell me or not? Ava: I'll sort it myself Grace: Ava Grace: is it already out of hand? Ava: That'd depend on who you asked too Grace: I'm asking you Ava: I've got this Grace: promise Ava: 🤞 Grace: 👌

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Ro

Ali: One of your kids is here??? Ro: Oh no! Ro: I double checked everyone was aware of the cancellations and everything Ali: You know what people are like, probably received but didn't actually read/listen to the message, like Ali: I'll quickly get in before ma can be her charming self any harder Ro: Thank you Ali: [allow time for that] Ali: Done Ali: Why'd you have to cancel anyway? Ro: Sadly I have yet to master being able to be in two places at once, especially when one of those places is so ridiculously far away Ro: What's more surprising though is that you've remained at home for long enough shepherd my pupil in and out for me without assumedly cursing Tess Ali: Ugh, I feel that Ali: until we're blessed with time-turners, we'll all have to muddle through Ali: and I've been there enough myself to guess where you are, so I won't pout about any potential adventures you could've been on Ali: everyone is DOA and MIA today, plus if I let her shout at me for long enough she might not ground me forever 🤞 Ro: Indeed Ro: Well, I can't deny that would be very much appreciated as I've been subjected to plenty of pouting already as things stand Ro: You can let her know that I'll be making my grand return soon enough which will at the very least give her another target should she desire one Ali: You can probably ignore him, he's just feeling the ill-effects of a 3-day bender, like Ali: some hydration and vitamin c and he'll be over it Ali: can't say the same of mother but my sins definitely outweigh yours Ali: though the offer is appreciated 💚 Ro: He's very much fine in that regard I'd been assured prior to my arrival and of course did my part to truly make it so by making him a late lunch or early dinner once I got there Ro: Regrettably, that offer was taken very much not in the manner it was intended Ro: The tally of my sins therefore apparently exceed the number of yours, in Drew's eyes at any rate Ali: Sounds like Drew Ali: you spoil him Ali: Caleb's mum made him work today, as he was too sick for school Ro: All I've spoilt is his afternoon seemingly Ro: Yet again, I'm a waste of time Ali: Hey Ali: don't take on his bad mood just 'cos he's mad he didn't get what he wanted Ali: you know it's bullshit Ro: None of his grievances are unfounded Ro: I shouldn't break promises Ro: Even if I did make them for less than ideal reasons Ali: No, but you know Ali: you have those reasons regardless Ro: And he has his own reasons to be upset Ali: Which you're clearly giving a fuck about Ali: so he owes you the same in return, yeah Ro: Of course, but his anger is fuelled by how much he does care, obviously Ro: It's because he likes me so much that he wants to take things further than they are Ali: Partly Ali: but I don't think anyone can say that that's all it is Ali: not to discredit how he feels in any way Ali: if anything, it takes into consideration all aspects Ro: He is the only one who can address that with any degree of clarity but its a conversation we're unlikely to have for a while Ali: I'm sure it won't be anything like that long Ro: That almost sounds as if you are in fact discrediting how he feels but I have no desire to get into a disagreement with you about the one I just had with him Ali: No, I'm saying he's nothing if not persistent Ali: trust me, he'll get over it if he has any sense Ro: It's less about the sense he possesses and more about the degree to which my own has abandoned me Ali: Do you regret the fact you didn't or regret the fact you were considering it? Ro: Both regrets somehow exist side by side and I have no idea how that can be Ro: Or which of the many internal voices vocalising my many mistakes I should begin to listen to Ali: Sounds about right Ali: are you in love with him? Ro: Yes Ali: Yeah Ali: it's Ali: the worst kind of headfuck Ali: amongst many other things Ro: What would you do in my place? Ali: About what Ali: specifically Ro: My next move Ro: He says I won't lose him but I know it's more likely than not Ro: Especially now that Carly has her own caravan to host in Ali: You shouldn't do it if that's the only reason why Ali: doing it because you're fearful of any outcome is just a bad idea Ali: it should always be primarily that you want to Ro: I do want to but I also don't want to Ro: It's complicated Ali: It is Ali: it might stop being complicated Ali: or you might do it before it does Ali: either of those is fine and valid Ro: What if it doesn't and I can't? Ali: You will Ali: if you want to, then you will Ali: I said it was the most important factor but definitely not the only, not even close Ali: it's complex but you know, like most things, stressing upon it will never make it less so Ro: I suppose Ali: It's like all this stuff isn't it Ali: thinking you'll never get your period and then it just happens Ali: we've all got our own pace for all of it Ro: And my pace is several steps behind always Ro: Maybe next time I should just go to the party Ali: Well his is coming up so Ali: you will be at that one Ro: Oh my god, don't remind me I haven't even begun brainstorming gifts yet Ali: 😂 Ali: you do have time Ali: but it might distract you from this worry so have at it Ro: You're so fortunate that Caleb's is ages away Ali: I know Ali: so much of me cannot hack that, I'd actually die Ro: After emerging from Carly's mostly unscathed, you could be forgiven for believing yourself immortal, I'm sure Ali: It was pretty hectic Ali: not sure if I'd say life-threateningly so but keep that between us Ali: could tell ma though Ali: keep her from hysteria Ro: I'll use that as my conversational opener when I come in if you'd like Ali: Subtle, cheers Ali: tell her there were no recreational drugs or pre-maritial relations too, whilst you're at it Ro: Carly would appreciate the lack of, I'm certain Ro: More so than Tess would my attempts at such a clearly crafted lie Ali: Can't win with her, like Ali: don't lead with that though Ali: even if that's a truth Ro: It's the kind of day I'm having Ro: I'll simply wish on everything possible that the losses extend to calories as well Ali: Don't waste the magic Ali: I know you skipped lunch Ro: You know because I told you I was busy running around after Drew Ali: Exactly Ro: Nonetheless, I've spent more time on this bus than anything else Ro: It's a pity I can't transfigure my bike here Ali: it seems like a good idea until it starts chucking it down halfway Ro: True, I'd be unlikely to garner any sympathy or permission for more time off from Tess even if I caught my death Ali: Seriously Ali: if she has to see any of us tomorrow at all, she might actually lose it completely Ali: what with Bea and Fraze being their delightful selves all weekend too Ali: the only ones not on the shit list rn are Tommy and Joe and that's only through absence Ro: Precisely Ro: Much like how the idea of finding birthday gifts for Drew is favorable after the nightmarish pursuit we all have to endure in order to provide something that Bea will undoubtedly dislike and return where possible Ali: 😂 s'why I kick it homemade Ali: good luck finding any takers for my sentimental tat, babe Ali: bless Ro: Alas the memory of my childish homemade cards finding their way to the recycling bin earlier than I feel necessary haunts me still Ro: Did Carly like what you made for her though? Ali: 😞 Ali: Yes, thankfully she's far more receptive and forthcoming with her thanks Ali: and the caravan looks amazing Ali: looked, I HOPE everyone kept out Ro: It would be difficult for her not to be, Bea, of course, is without competition in that regard Ro: I was impressed by the pictures despite being well aware of your artistic eye and resourcefulness in gathering materials Ro: Perhaps you should take and utilise all the magic yourself immediately Ro: Protection spells have been employed and succeeded for less Ali: True Ali: and a good idea to boot Ali: I better do it remotely Ali: aside from me leaving the house for anything but school and work rn being a deathwish, I'm not sure of the state I'd find the residents in, like Ro: Hm, yes arguably that is an even better idea Ali: Obviously, I do not plan to be her prisoner for long Ali: but for a great escape, I need even greater plans on the outside Ro: It would be my pleasure to extend such an offer, dear sister, but my own flight of fancy earlier did little else but backfire so it's best I stay under lock and key until I feel suitably chastised Ro: Either by Tess or myself Ali: Self-flagellation is next to godliness, of course Ali: I'll think of something Ro: I have no doubt that you will Ro: But whilst the subject of faltering has been raised, can I ask you something? Ali: of course Ali: scientia potentia est Ro: I was just wondering if you spent much time with Drew this weekend, that's all Ali: Not a huge amount Ali: but I saw him about, doing his thing Ali: if I saw anything like that I would've kicked his arse and told you Ali: in that exact order Ro: Okay Ro: Well, thank you Ali: Of course Ali: sisterhood before everything Ali: especially boys Ro: My favorite religion and the one to which I've been devoted to for the longest and most faithfully Ali: 💚 Ali: What's your ETA? Ro: 13 and a half minutes Ali: Ooh precise Ali: that'll please the jailer Ali: tell her 15 and you'll be back in the good books when you're arse is up the table without her even having to shout up the stairs Ali: 👍 Ro: I already told her 21 minutes so I have enough time to fix my face somewhere that isn't a very full bus Ro: She doesn't need to know that I've been crying Ali: 😕 Ali: Cold water fixes all Ali: we can talk about it properly after Ali: feels like forever Ro: It's not too late to pray for a summer storm Ro: Though it seems everyone misses me until they get the opportunity to spend time with me, so I might be wise to adjust my prayers accordingly actually Ali: Not everyone Ali: just him Ali: and just because he's mad Ali: we'll tea and talk, promise Ro: As long as you share too Ali: I gotcha Ali: you wanna hear all the fantastical and sordid exploits Ro: Fantastical yes, sordid not so much Ali: 😂 Ali: I'll do my best to spin the yarn into something comfortable and befitting Ali: don't worry Ro: Being guaranteed one less thing to overthink about will forever be appreciated Ali: That's my job Ali: one of Ali: labour of love, really Ro: tá mé i ngrá leat freisin Ali: 💚💚💚 Ali: right, I got a table to set Ali: not gonna know what's hit her Ali: Rock even agreed not to throw any spaghetti up the wall Ali: providing I buy him sweets for a week Ro: I'm in awe of your power whether or not she will be Ali: whether a six-year-old can stick to a deal is another thing Ali: did threaten him with a broken pinkie so 🤞 Ro: I'll likewise threaten him with the type of hex befitting a 6 year old promise breaker if needs be Ali: 💀🐸🐀🕯🥀💀 Ro: Our minds have always worked in similar ways, that's a truth which deserves to be universally acknowledged Ro: But for now, go Ro: There will be plenty of time for talking later

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Edie

Buster: I need to talk to you Edie: hot Edie: shoot Buster: Are you in a state to hear me or not? Edie: i got eyes n ears mckenna Buster: You know what I mean Edie: am i high, what you asking yeah Buster: Well, are you? Edie: when am i not, if you waitin for me be sober u gon be blueballed forever Buster: I just don't want to be talking to a brick wall Buster: Or repeating myself like it's my job Buster: Can you give me that or should we do this another time? Edie: i ain't indie i stay functioning unless i'm nodding Edie: and we wouldn't be flirting rn if i was so off you go Edie: i'm listening Buster: Alright Buster: Drew got lifted on St Paddy's night carrying fuck knows how much Buster: He could get as much as 14 years but I doubt it Edie: ha Edie: s'funny Buster: Do you want me to hit you up again when we know how long he's getting? Edie: nah i'll just pretend he got 14, fitting Edie: how old indie is yeah Edie: paroled himself into pen, ha Buster: No way that cunt'll get max Buster: He never does Buster: But sure Edie: you ain't need to tell me Edie: 'bout to be 16 right here Buster: I was more speaking my own frustrations, babe Buster: But you know Edie: tell me all about 'em Edie: peak daddy issues right now, i'll see u right init Buster: Shut up Buster: You've got a man for that Edie: you ain't Edie: omg are you coming out to me rn Buster: Obviously yeah Buster: Your sister's my beard, like Buster: Don't be an idiot Buster: Also I ain't got daddy issues yet so why we talking about me? Edie: makes more sense than what u playing as truth Edie: wanna talk about mine some more Edie: cool Buster: I wanna make sure you're okay Buster: So sue me, babe Edie: sweet Edie: makes no odds to me does it Buster: You tell me Buster: I ain't speaking for you Edie: he ain't been about Edie: i ain't about Buster: I know that's bullshit 'cause they saw you Buster: You could've come in, had a drink Buster: You still can Buster: Fight your way through the tourists, like Edie: i dun wanna cover up your homo ways w you boy i'm soz Buster: Fuck off Buster: You love it Buster: What are you doing that's better? Edie: my mans Edie: like you said Buster: I'm so offended right now Buster: But fine Edie: gutted Edie: any more sad news to get me juiced Buster: I don't reckon Buster: You did talk my sister into therapy though so nice one Edie: whey Edie: slainte Buster: Yeah Edie: vulnerability all round Edie: get u some ur so welcome Buster: What is that meant to mean? Edie: u tellin me my daddy going gone so u can pipe me, so sayin Edie: uncovering all her trauma Edie: 🙌 Buster: Bullshit Buster: Don't be like that Edie: like what Buster: Fucked Edie: boring Buster: If that's your threshold Edie: for your boringness Edie: yeah Buster: Fine Buster: I'll go then Buster: See you later Edie: toodles Buster: Yeah yeah Buster: You know where I am if you actually need anything or wanna talk, babe Edie: desperate Edie: what you actually wanna say Edie: babe Buster: 'Course Buster: You're that irresistible, Eds Buster: I've said what I came here to say Buster: You can't blame me for wondering if that boy can string a sentence together, like Buster: Who else you talking to? Edie: fun times Edie: lots of people Buster: Yeah? Buster: Good Edie: 'fact Edie: one of my lads 'bout to go in Edie: 🤞 they get the same pen, visit 'em both ay Buster: Someone's got to Edie: you know indie will Edie: probably ro too Buster: Nah Buster: They're both over it Edie: nah Edie: indie likes her free gear and ro likes her bit of rough Buster: You're out the loop, kid Edie: you're kidding yourself you think anything changed Edie: been here many times, u weren't about Buster: I know they have Buster: I've seen them both, you ain't Edie: oh babe Edie: no smart mckennas left Edie: so sad Buster: Don't patronise me, babe Buster: You wish Edie: don't play dumb Buster: Don't play like you know anything that's going on Buster: I'd say you'll see but we both know you won't Edie: i got bored of it Edie: wait til you on your thousandth rerun of everyone's shit, you will too Buster: Bored ain't the word for what I am Edie: nah Edie: go on then if ur so smart Edie: impress me with that vocab Buster: Fuck that Buster: I don't need to prove anything to you Buster: I'm smart enough to know it's not worth bothering Edie: that riveting is it Edie: well enjoy his downfall whilst it lasts Edie: dun expect me to join in celebrations Buster: I ain't celebrating nor waiting on you Buster: I've got plenty of other shit to do Edie: clearly Edie: clogging up my inbox inviting me for drinks Buster: I'm here for Rio I ain't here for you Buster: She wanted me to tell you so I have Buster: End of Edie: now u have Edie: probs suck ur dick well done u Buster: She doesn't need the incentive Buster: But thanks for caring Edie: disgusting Buster: You brought it up Buster: Don't if you don't wanna hear about it Edie: yeah just ignore it like it ain't happening with the rest Edie: cool Buster: There's not ignoring it or talking about my sex life as the only two options Buster: Again, you wish Buster: None of this is being ignored by any of my fam Edie: it ain't being dealt with either is it Buster: Speak for yourself Buster: I'm dealing with it every day Edie: no one making u do it Buster: Nobody's making you do anything you are either Edie: welllll i ain't fucking my cuz either so i'm good Buster: That don't make you good Buster: Hilarious maybe Edie: soz ill get to work so i can be up to standard Edie: options ain't limited Buster: Tell me something I don't know Buster: I can do anything I want Buster: How about you? Edie: you can Edie: i am Buster: Proud of you, like Edie: should be Edie: mixed messages otherwise Buster: That's not about to worry me Buster: I only came to deliver one message and it's done Edie: 💔 Edie: obvs Buster: Good to know Edie: relay that if you like Edie: get 'em all feeling good Buster: I don't chat shit anymore Buster: Sorry Edie: why u sorry Edie: idc Edie: they won't love it Buster: 'Cause I know you'd love me to pass this whole convo on but I ain't Edie: aw bummer Edie: so sad Edie: hit 'em with the round robin Buster: You always want me to be your errand boy Buster: So transparent Edie: you wanna be around em so much Edie: i don't Edie: both get what we want Buster: I wanna be here, I don't want them in my face Buster: And especially not on your account Edie: sure Edie: so transparent Buster: Funnily enough, your fam are really annoying Buster: You think you're the only one who knows that? Edie: also your fam but go off Edie: makes it weird when u think on it huh Buster: No, I'm talking about your mob Buster: They ain't my immediate Buster: I'm not seeing them all at breakfast like Edie: me either Edie: i'm as related to them as you are Buster: Bullshit Buster: Your saw your brothers the other fucking day Buster: What was that? A coincidence Buster: Come on Edie: Could be Edie: they were out on street alone Edie: i coulda been anyone Buster: They were outside the pub Buster: Lie better if you're gonna try Edie: on st paddys day Edie: do better if you really dont want ur kids missing Buster: If you were my kid I would Edie: hearteyes Edie: ain't that just what i wanna hear Buster: I don't give a fuck Buster: We're having a convo I'm not playing to an audience Buster: Your parents are shit, what do you want me to do? Edie: i dunna ring social Buster: Ring them yourself Buster: You're the one they failed Buster: It aint your brothers or me Edie: oh yh rest of em are golden Buster: Yeah, as good as they can be Buster: Nobody's perfect Edie: ha Edie: now u bullshitting Buster: No I ain't Buster: What's so fucked up about any of them? Go on Edie: long Edie: u wanted this list u should've given me 3 working days Buster: Keep stalling while you make up your bullshit, babe Buster: I'll be here then Edie: what i gotta make up Edie: your whole thing is evidence of the first and worst, like Edie: why i wasting my time telling u when u don't wanna hear Buster: There's nothing wrong with Rio Buster: But feel free to hit me with that list on the rest of them when you're ready Edie: oh god Buster: Is that all you've got? Buster: Good then Edie: all needs telling to u Edie: u dont care bout the rest of them and how fucked up they are 'til they of age Edie: end of Buster: You don't care about any of them so don't lecture me Edie: sure don't Edie: who lecturing you want the list so bad Edie: k bundy Buster: Whatever Edie: 😂 Buster: I'll see you around on your brother's twitter feed, like Edie: cute u care Buster: Yeah I know Buster: I've been told Edie: i bet Edie: ⭐ Buster: Feel free if you need the cash Buster: Low risk Edie: huh Buster: I'm a safe bet, babe Buster: Don't you know? Edie: u make me wanna throw up in my mouth a bit Edie: not rlly my thing but u make it work 4 u Buster: Yeah I do Edie: ick Edie: stop Edie: i just ate Buster: Good to know Buster: At least you're not gonna starve to death Edie: such a drama queen too Edie: how do u actually get laid its impressive Edie: b4 the whole incest vibe Buster: Talk about mixed messages Buster: Stop flirting with me, babe Buster: I liked it better when you were playing hard to get Edie: boiiiiii Edie: u think that flirting u need to watch out Edie: calling u repugnant Buster: Yeah yeah Edie: oh that's who u remind me of Edie: american psycho Edie: what was his name Edie: gets horny over card stock Buster: Good one Buster: You're funny Edie: i know Edie: imma rewatch Buster: Cute Buster: You don't have to miss me you can just come see me Edie: ew Edie: bateman Edie: ha Edie: funny Edie: indie would laugh Buster: I'll tell her Buster: See if she does Edie: aw Edie: domestic bliss Buster: Yeah Edie: gotta give it to yuh Edie: hustlin on the next Edie: been there Edie: clever Buster: What? Edie: got her good to go when u get bored of ri Buster: You're fucked Buster: She's a kid Edie: whatevs Edie: 4 years ain't a big deal Buster: Yeah it fucking is Buster: When she's 14 Buster: Don't fucking say shit like that to me or about me Edie: dry Buster: Sort your head out Buster: Seriously Edie: what Edie: i don't wanna fuck a 14 year old Edie: n i ain't Buster: Neither do I Buster: Fuck you Edie: cool Edie: keep it legal but dubious Edie: that's how u rollin Buster: Shut up Buster: You don't know what you're talking about Edie: sadly do Edie: u really splash it all over socials Buster: I'm not doing anything wrong Buster: Unlike that boy fucking you Edie: what u gonna do call garda Edie: who cares Buster: You have enough of an opinion about my moral code Buster: Sort yours Edie: oooo victim blaming hahaah Edie: have u for that the feminazis Buster: Give a shit Buster: What are you gonna do, tell on me? Edie: they sense that shit from mile way Edie: dun need to Buster: I'm so scared Edie: same Buster: It's been fun Buster: I gotta go Edie: it hasn't Edie: ✌

[punkscowardschampions]

Billie & Indie

Billie: Indie! Pabs made frango a passarinho, you want in? Billie: also he said he saw you out at that boy in his year's party on Saturday Billie: you must not have seen him Billie: I got lunchtime detention for all the notes I was trying is pass you in Maths! Billie: Too busy 💤 or doodling, that is the question Indie: spitting dem bars all the way to my 💘 but nah itd be a mad treck from where i @ Indie: lo must have it twisted cos i aint rolling w dem younger rudeboys at no gatherings Indie: my bad tho Indie: too sleepy innit Indie: olders got partys for me to hit up standard Billie: where are you laying your head these days my dear? Billie: aside from your desk, naturally 😋 Indie: 😂😂 Indie: getting the zzzs i need there like Indie: wen im in im out for the count Billie: but what about all the times you're not in 🤔 Indie: in endz Indie: rollin w my boyz or my BOY you know Indie: its chill Billie: what does rolling entail exactly Billie: i'm unfamiliar Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: rolling up 🚬 standard but can be any thing Indie: hangin, chillin reh teh teh Indie: it be what it be, bills Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 tho Billie: I still feel like those are all just different words for the same thing Billie: which still eludes me but I'm glad you're having fun! Billie: We miss you though, don't you have any time to spare, pleaaaaaaaaaaaase Indie: what you need im here rn Indie: hit me w it Billie: I don't need anything, just want your company silly Indie: you got it Indie: we chatting Billie: Yes, of course Billie: but in person too, yes? Billie: It's not the same without you Indie: what you trying to see my face for? Indie: its still this Indie: [sends selfie] Billie: 😂 Billie: [sends back suitably silly selfie of own] Indie: living for it baby Indie: you looking 🔥 Billie: Thank you Billie: Now I got all the pink out Billie: surprisingly stubborn stuff Indie: mine got dashed mad fast Indie: must be dem curls holdin Billie: Yeah and mine isn't even as textured as some of the others Billie: thank god Ri didn't do it too Indie: she aint as extra as how we is Indie: blessed that i aint blood of ya cos my mans werent feelin the look Indie: hed be proper vexed if it stayed Billie: os homens não sabem nada Indie: this boy got plenty knowledge trust 😏 Billie: NADA 👏 Indie: you reping sound like the other mckenna rn Indie: something you wanna chat ? Billie: I don't need to come out, no Billie: but I appreciate the offer of a listening ear and open mind Indie: safe Indie: you down to mix me up 💘 potion? Indie: thatd be valued by me Billie: Why do you need it? I thought we were in love? Billie: Not you and me 😂 Indie: 😂 Indie: steady bills Indie: not trying to come for your sister & mckennas ⛈ Indie: let em have a min baby Billie: I don't think anyone is enjoying the rain Billie: we're safe to move on Indie: innit tho Indie: hold it for me @ school & ill come thru  yeah? Billie: Of course Billie: but what exactly do you want to happen? it changes what I have to do Indie: gotta keep him 😍😍😍😍😍😍 Indie: that mood Billie: That should be fine Billie: I can't force or influence freewill and fate, obviously but I can certainly help along what is there, that shouldn't be a problem Indie: what it gonna taste? Indie: not tryna make him 😵 Indie: not more than he like standard least 😂 Billie: It's okay, more than likely we'll get you to drink it Billie: then you can attract the love, if you see what I mean Indie: how it not gon attract some next man tho? Billie: with great power, Indigo Billie: you know how to control your allure, I trust 😂 Indie: mayb we swerve it Indie: not tryna get dashed for this like 💔 Billie: Well that shouldn't happen Billie: it's not viagra Indie: 😂😂 Billie: You seem worried Indie: nah Indie: all good Billie: Are you sure? Billie: I've got lots of things for anxiety and stress Indie: what i got to b flat roofin over? Indie: keep your stash Billie: you tell me Indie: nah im jam Indie: nothing to chat on Billie: Good Indie: how you b? Billie: Well, on reflection Billie: I'm okay most of the time but in general I'm quite sad Indie: 💔💔💔 Indie: you got no spells for it? Billie: I'm trying Billie: everything, every day Billie: but not everything can be sorted with magic Billie: not of that kind, anyway Indie: tru Indie: its a madness Indie: i feel it Billie: I know Billie: We've got to stick together Indie: ri aint here tho Indie: not how it can be Billie: Indie Indie: ? Billie: I think Edie has gone too Billie: lots of her stuff is gone Indie: she gon come back thru Indie: thats just how she rolls Indie: dont get it twisted & get 😢 Billie: I know but she usually only takes a bag Billie: if anything Indie: how you kno she not she not shoting her garms for the cash? Indie: gotta do what you gotta do innit Billie: Maybe you're right Indie: if you still got no peace after hot min come @ ri w it Indie: thats how she do making shit hectic again Indie: idk Indie: ma vibes like Billie: Like you said, she's not here either Billie: soon none of us will Indie: shes rollin deep w mckenna but she aint out your reach Indie: you in my inbox you can b in hers Billie: Not the same is it Indie: as face2face nah but better than no thing Indie: trust Billie: I guess so Billie: I hope she comes back Billie: it's horrible when we have to tell the police, they basically blame mum and dad Indie: the feds dont kno how to be anything but amp bringin the dred Indie: dont take it hard Billie: it was different the first few times Billie: now she's just a known runaway and they don't even try to help Billie: just get angry about the paperwork and wasted time Indie: they love to get vexed Indie: always on me too cos i got this face & name Billie: Yeah Billie: I thought they were meant to help Indie: nah baby they only bout helping theyselves Indie: sorry you had to get schooled on that like this Indie: been round me all days late cos the madness drew tryna live rn Indie: like i kno where hes @ Billie: I heard Billie: I always used to think it was a good thing when he went to prison Billie: is that bad Indie: nah man Indie: he heading back that kinda way rejoice in it if you wanna Indie: some good gotta come Billie: Selfish really Billie: but it meant you got to stay with us all the time and he wasn't around Billie: he messed with the vibes Billie: everything was bad when he was around Indie: speak your truth bills 😂 Indie: shots fired Billie: I'm sorry Billie: I try not to be hateful towards anyone but Indie: if you feel it you feel it Indie: whats acting like you dont gon do? Billie: I tend to think of it as wasted or at very least misplaced energy Billie: I try to feel sorry for people I don't get good energy from, or just ignore them Indie: i been knew about wasted energy fr 😂 waiting for my 🚀🚀 to hit like Indie: better energy be coming when i come up Billie: Does it work? Indie: yeah Indie: esp this new kick im on Billie: That's good Billie: what are the side effects Indie: depends what you trying to take Indie: dont be channelling the 👻 of my mas fix on your first go out Billie: I'm just working out the pros and cons Billie: doesn't it scare you? because you're mum died Indie: aint no thing that scares me Indie: we all going Indie: & she got me, not trying to let anything do me like how she went Billie: What's that like? Billie: I'm not scared of death but I'm in no great hurry Indie: its good Indie: nothing can touch me Indie: if im livin im livin if i aint i get to be this age forever 👻 Billie: That must be very reassuring Billie: What about good things though, can they touch you? Indie: how you mean? Billie: I mean, they say you have to know bad to know good Billie: so if you don't have that, do you get to have good or is untouchable outside of that Indie: i kno all it but it just dont be affecting me like that Indie: unless how i want it Indie: all good all the time Billie: Interesting Billie: I wish I could try it sometime Indie: i got you Indie: come thru & link me when Billie: Really? Billie: Okay Billie: I thought I might need a dead parent too Indie: is that tryin to be my key? idk Indie: i was reckonin on drews connections being that if there is Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 life Billie: I misunderstood slightly Billie: I thought that was what made you untouchable but in that case Billie: I'd be happy to try Indie: could be connected i cant speak on knowin Indie: i only got 1 dead ma & didnt get to kno her like that Billie: Yes, I would never ask you to share Indie: 😂 im saying i got others who aint Indie: so mayb its not a powerful thing Billie: we'll have to see Indie: not that i got em rn if you tryna test Billie: mothers or drugs? Billie: i'm lost Indie: mas Indie: you kno i always got the other Billie: Why not? Indie: we gone from each other Indie: like you said everyone is Billie: you just have to come round Billie: you know Indie: where? Billie: home Indie: but where that tryin to be now? Billie: Wherever your family is Indie: & who are they now? Billie: Whoever you choose Billie: us included, I hope Indie: nah Indie: it dont get to be however i want Billie: Why not? Indie: idk its not the way Indie: everyone tryin to tell me how to choose & aint listenin Billie: I'm listening Billie: and the universe Billie: What do you want, Indie? Indie: I want it how it was Indie: nah i want him gone and her back Billie: Yeah Billie: Me too Billie: I think we all do Billie: I'm thinking on ways to make it so Indie: but even if she comes home it aint gonna be for me just you Indie: we got too much beef Billie: I didn't know Billie: what happened? Indie: she got no love for me rn cos i trying to keep my mans Indie: she dont understand how i feel Billie: I see Billie: Did you tell her? Indie: yeah but she aint trying to kno she just wanna be vexed and tell me how to be Indie: shit gets too heated Billie: She'll calm down Billie: it's nothing to lose a sister over is it Indie: tell her Indie: she aint spoke to me since i got my ink Indie: she said she aint here for me its done Billie: I know she didn't mean that Billie: do you actually want me to talk to her for you? I can Indie: what you think you gonna say? Indie: she aint gonna be about me unless i dash him Billie: You're more important to her than that Billie: I'll just tell her you want to talk Indie: i cant Indie: i aint got no energy to be fighting w her Indie: hes here & she aint that decides it Billie: Okay Billie: It's up to you Indie: nah Indie: no things up to me they are how they are Billie: If you don't try to change them, yeah Billie: not saying you have to Indie: girl i aint got power like that i aint you Billie: If I had any more than you she'd be back already Billie: but you have to try, right? Billie: Passivity is still a choice Indie: it hurts Billie: I know Billie: but it doesn't feel Billie: good, lack of a better word Billie: accepting how it is either, does it? Indie: nah but its easier to act than trying & getting owned for it Indie: you feel me? Indie: if you gotta let stuff in where you gonna stop Billie: Hmm Billie: Good question Billie: When the stuff is more bad than it is good Indie: how you measuring Indie: shits such a heavy mix Billie: That's the trick, isn't it Billie: Depends how much bad you're willing to take Billie: they aren't equal, bad deeds weigh much heavier Billie: there'd need to be a lot more good to counteract them Indie: hear this, if a boy makes me feel everything that's bad and its good Indie: he hurts me and he wants me Indie: is it equal or nah? Billie: I can't tell you what you can deal with, only what I think you should Billie: and it doesn't sound equal to me Indie: but maybe close as imma get Indie: w how lads be Indie: they want what they want and how they want it & if he wants me then thats good Billie: What's good about it? Indie: feelin the love Indie: like who we tryna measure him against? mckenna? your da? idk thats a madness Indie: they grown Billie: I don't think all boys are like that Billie: or men Billie: there's an inbetween Indie: is it tho Billie: 'course Billie: we're not like lots of girls at school but we're not grown either Indie: idk maybe ive got things twisted Indie: or maybe i cant hit you w the real words Billie: That's alright, you don't need to Billie: get it right for yourself though, that's important, even if it takes a while Indie: what if rio been right & she hates me Billie: She doesn't hate you, for one Billie: and she's not going to hit you with an 'I told you so' Billie: give her a chance Indie: i gotta hit her up Indie: imma do it Billie: Well done Billie: I'm so sure it'll be worth it Indie: youre sick Indie: 💖💖💖 Billie: ❤️ 🧡 💛 💚 💙 💜 🖤 Indie: real 👑 moves Indie: im not about to forget it Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 or nah Billie: 'Course not 😊 just try to see my notes next time 😂 Indie: innit tho Indie: come find me when he aint around Billie: 👍 Will do