#actually liking my own gifs vs usually hating them lmao

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Lmao ignore me if u want but I have two questions

How would Kai be as a werewolf alpha???

And if he was a demigod like percy Jackson would would he be the son of???????

Here is a picture of our pookie as an apology

First of all, that gif is making me absolutely FERAL. Second, I want to bite him. [you have a lovely clavicle; i'm a neck person; that's just silly, you can't stop being a neck person] Third, you never bother me, I promise! I love answering these & talking to you through them (& comments)! I've just been so out of sorts lately with my home life and work life - both chaotic - but desperately have been needing to get back in the swing of things in terms of writing / posting / answering!

Now, to tackle these questions that have both brought hearts to my eyes... (and I was so excited, I made dividers to split them up)

tw: some nsfw (can I even write that on tumblr anymore?) on the wolf portion, but no warnings on the demigod part

#1 - werewolf alpha kai

FUCK

do notttt get me started on wolf kai; how the fuuuck have I not wolf-i-fied him yet 😭😭

okay. I had it down so bad for jacob in the great edward vs jacob debacle of the 2000s. I was OBSESSED with wolves / werewolves in general, too

funnily enough, I don't give a damn for the wolves in tvd. Tyler's fine. Hayley is fine in TO (not tvd tho lmao). The rest in TVD / TO are whatever; the ones in Legacies are HORRID

BUT wolf!kai would be sooo hot; alpha wolf kai especially, oh heaven help me

this man is already dominant & controlling, and with his SO, protective, but add that wolf gene and he's tenfold

he'd be an absolute menace... to damon, to tyler, to mystic falls in general, & maybe even to klaus... & to my ovaries...

starting off, let's just picture him as a wolf

i was actually thinking about this the other day... what if the actual reason that he was "an abomination" was if he had the wolf gene on top of the siphon gene somehow. like, joshua wasn't his real father, or his mother wasn't his real mother, idk, but joshua HATES him for it (kinda like klaus)

kai's childhood is the same - violent, abusive, isolated - and he ends up in the '94 PW the same way, but while kai shows damon and bonnie his ability to siphon, he never reveals the wolf part

when he gets back to the real world, he's going to have to transition again, bc he's no longer on a repeating loop of the same day, so he carefully plans for this

he makes sporadic disappearances throughout the month, so that no one ever catches on to him being absent on full moons

the only reason he's caught, is because [reader] stumbles upon him entering / coming off his transition, but lucky she's been crushing on him or is a wolf herself

if i were to write this out, this is as much plot as i've developed. i would add a bit in there, too, where she mentions klaus, maybe she has a connection to him, and they both can commiserate on their similar childhoods together

but that's all i've got so far; idk if i'm doing anything with it

regardless, wolfy kai!

SO

he'd be so much more temperamental & combative

if damon were to know, he'd be like, oh ffs not another one

but this gene also makes him stronger than if he were just a witch

imagine Tyler's fondness for fight picking + Kai's own flirty / cocky attitude + werewolf lore behavior + alpha behavior, and you've got a dangerous mix wrapped up in one very attractive man, i mean, just look at the gif

whether you're a wolf or not, he puts himself in charge of protecting you, even if you're quite capable of defending yourself

he has to have an arm or a leg wrapped around you, too, and is always on alert, even in his sleep

is also a very cuddly sleeper, is a big spoon, and will throw a fit if he can't sleep with you for some reason

when he's alone with you, he's his usual goofy self, and maybe takes a second to get himself under control in serious situations

but also as an alpha, still knows when to snap into his dominant demeanor when the situation calls for it

now... i've thought up several different scenarios where we could have wolfy kai... and since i'm me, i also have an nsfw section

...so here's that one first

breeding kink would be off the charts

especially as an alpha, where it's so innate, and if he has a pack, a desire to keep it going & keep it strong

and like tyler mentioned, "being horny all the time"

huge biting kink, but only if you're a wolf, too

play bites as a way to show affection, but bites during sex, too

bites in places visible to others; always marking you as his

again, dominant, and would be one to pin you down or keep a hand on your throat as a means of control

would be so into praising you, during & after, telling you how well you did & how proud he is (& how good of a mom you're gonna be jfdsnls)

on the flip side, i don't think he'd be much into exhibitionism / voyeurism because he'd want you all for himself & would not want anyone to see you in one of your most vulnerable states

however, if you were in a pack and someone was hitting on you & not taking any hints that you're taken, he'd probably engage it in to some degree just to teach that someone a lesson that you're his

wolf!reader x wolf!kai

when you're nesting, he's already getting excited. tries to stick his nose in your business, though, and several times, you've bitten his nose to get him out of your space, but he just gets more excited

when ~the time~ finally comes, he tries to control himself, but sometimes gets lost in the pleasure

you have to safeword somewhat often, which he always respects

and his aftercare is always perfect, regardless if you used the word or not

outside of the sexual realm, you are always together

it takes some time to sink into his stubborn head, but you protect him as much as he protects you, and he's very grateful for it

the two of you are your own little pack

and tyler is very jealous of it

eyes roll all across the room when you enter, because the MF gang is pre-preparing for the sass and stubbornness they're about to face; you compliment him well, much to their dismay

but on the bright side, he kills much less, and only threatens or kills if someone threatens himself or you

on a side note, i can see tyler trying to recreate your bond with liv, and her not wanting any part of that wolfishness

she will date him but she won't engage with that, especially considering tyler's wolf-associated anger issues, and kai being her brother who she wants nothing to do with

...but, she has to hand it to you for getting him under control & to her absolute disbelief that it could happen, loving him the way you do (jo, too, is practically astonished, however grateful - he is her twin, after all)

non-wolf!reader x wolf!kai

now, if you're a vamp, he has to be very careful not to bite

tricky during sex sometimes; difficult when you insist on helping him transition

it's much of a caroline x tyler thing; you refuse to leave him but he's terrified of hurting you

whether you're human, or a witch, or a vampire, he could hurt you, and the thought terrifies him

is insistent on a buddyship with damon or stefan, so that they can call klaus if an emergency ever occurs

both are reluctant, but are friends with you, and if something ever does happen, they'd hate for you to suffer, so they do

klaus gets involved & he and kai bond more than anyone would've anticipated

maybe kai reminds klaus a bit of himself - his childhood, his difficult relationships with his siblings, his fancy for one person in particular; maybe kai also reminds him a bit of kol, his own brother with a head full of sarcasm & jokes and a penchant for violence

although, if this is alpha!kai, klaus would notice that immediately and would have an, oh shit, this kid's powerful, moment that would knock him off his feet

kai might not even realize the strength he has, or he does, but doesn't let on to anyone that he knows how powerful he is

regardless of which, klaus knows he has to stay on his good side, and maybe he tells stefan to do the same for his own good

as long as no one becomes a threat, kai keeps his cool, but that alpha side comes out when he's protecting you or himself

and that, for whoever poor soul, is fucking terrifying

#2 - demigod parent

alright... first thought was Hades bc he's so dark & eerie

then I was like nah, way too much of a basic answer, just to tag anyone with a closed off personality and dark clothes as a Hades' kid (don't get me wrong, I love Nico, but in comparison, he & Kai are nothing alike)

Kai just doesn't have the personality of Hades' kids; he is way more than the dark witch he's made out to be by writers

he's extremely talkative, rather lively, & outgoing

ofc he's got that unpredictability & hair-raising ability to slink around like a cat without being noticed (i.e. stalking damon and bonnie for 4 months without their knowledge), but he doesn't scream child of Hades when we learn how talkative and touchy he actually is

so then, bc I haven't read PJO in 6 years, I did some research

Ares became a possibility... he's got some anger issues & is good with a knife

however, he doesn't seem like a child of war

most of his childhood, we can assume, he spent trying to avoid his father's anger & disapproval

sibling murder was the last resort for a depressed, distanced kid who was taught life didn't matter as long as the coven survived

and as vengeful and argumentative as he is, I wouldn't put him in a box with Clarisse, who picked fights 24/7

Hecate came to mind, but as a siphon, I think maybe not

if it was Hecate, he'd probably be outcasted by his half-siblings (and then I'd have to fight them, and it'd be a whole thing), so I took Hecate out of the choices

then, after more research, the obvious answer became Hermes

Kai is such a little shit

he's funny, sarcastic, and just seems like the guy to love a good prank

he's very smart, and can be manipulative if he wants / needs to be

his half siblings would more or less equal him in intelligence and personality, so he wouldn't feel the need to slice & dice them

(and also, doesn't Hermes have the most kids? bc his parents had a fuck ton of kids, so Kai would totally be used to having SO MANY siblings)

(plus unclaimed kids stayed in Hermes' cabin & Kai knows what it's like to be a family reject; they can commiserate)

not to mention, Luke was a child of Hermes, and I vaguely remember he went a little dark & crazy, too

granted, that could happen to anyone, but I can see Kai & Luke being like, hey, half-sibling, ~you're just as sane as I am~

now...

I also considered Aphrodite, and stay with me, bc he's so fucking gorgeous (I mean, again, look at that gif), and it would be cool to have a child of love with his emotions so turned off

imagine his father was so abusive (which he was), that Kai was so shut off when he got to camp

everyone shared rumors about his parentage; whispers of Hades circulated the most

but then it's Aphrodite who claims him, and everyone, Kai included, is shocked

for awhile, his siblings kinda outcast him & he's feeling it; he has definitely considered running away

but someone gives him a chance, maybe someone who feels equally unlike their godly parent approaches him & gains his trust, or maybe it's someone who doesn't like to see others treated the way his half-siblings are treating him

either way, he slowly opens up to them & begins to trust them; they return these feelings to him

with time, he gets fiercely protective & caring towards that person; he shows love in his own ways

eventually, his siblings start to see it & open up to him

once Kai realizes they're being genuine, he shows them similar attention, care, & protection

he might not be the typical child of Aphrodite, but his dulled emotions start to come through once he's given a chance & a safe space

... But as much as I love this headcanon, I say he's 100% child of Hermes. He just fits the bill completely, and I freaking love it.

[radellama]

9, 11, 18, 23, 26, and 31 for the game asks please

9. A game you played completely blind with no prior knowledge of and enjoyed/loved

Recently it was the Hitman trilogy! I had never heard of it before and my friend just asked if I'd consider getting it cause she wanted to watch me play, and I HAD A LOT OF FUN! Usually I go in playing mostly blind when I pick up a new game, but sometimes I'll do a lil research to get an idea of the vibe and such

11. Do you prefer ‘blank slate’ main characters you make yourself or otherwise project onto, or characters with personality and backstory?

ACTUAL CHARACTERS ALL THE WAY!!!! I don't really understand the blank slate thing because it's... Not me. I can connect with characters more when they're their own people and I can start to understand THEM and how THEY establish themselves in the narrative, if they're just blank it feels lazy and like the developers expect me to do the work they should've been doing...

Like, tbh even the 'blank slate' characters (like link, Mario, chrono...) All have personality cause THEY DO THINGS I DON'T DO..? And I'm glad in loz and Mario that they've leaned more into the characters because like. It's better...

Like PERFECT example of that is re7 vs re8, Ethan was supposed to be a kinda blank slate but IT SUCKED because he HAD A PERSONALITY but it was BAD because they tried to make it a non personality so every time he actually said or did something it was somehow ALWAYS exactly what NO ONE would say and took players out of it. They seemed to have learnt from that cause he was more spunky in 8 AND I LOVE IT. IF HE SAYS OR DOES THINGS THAT *I* WOULDN'T PERSONALLY DO I CAN STILL ENJOY IT WITH A GRAIN OF SALT CAUSE THAT'S ETHAN WINTERS AND NOT ME!!!!!!!

18. A game location you really like

Any game that has a floating island LMAO. I really love how elegant and beautiful the kingdom of zeal is, it just blew my mind as a kid the first time I played.

And skyloft just feels so comfy and chill...

23. A “Wow” moment of awe

I gotta go with the moment when you first hear wind scene in chrono... When you first see the map for 600ad... It just felt so special and I knew I was going to enjoy it. It still gives me chills sometimes I really enjoy it

26. Realism or stylized?

STYLISED!!! I LOVE STYLISED SOOOO MUCHHHH!!! PIXEL ART AND LOW POLY AND ART STYLES MY BELOVED!! like look at wind waker with its toon style that STILL LOOKS AMAZING and even Skyward sword that was a kind of mesh of the ww toon style and the tp darker style and went for a vaguely impressionist style!!! IT'S SOOOO PRETTY!!! realism can be cool but like.. it immediately dates it. I don't think a video game can ever be perfectly realistic cause there will ALWAYS be limitations, and by trying to fight against it by striving for hyper realism just suckkkkkkkkssssssssssss. That's not to say I hate realism and will never enjoy it, but I really think games that have a stylised art direction and really lean into it stand on their own a lot better

31. Someone has never played a video game before but is open to trying any genre. What game would you recommend as their first?

Hmmm. Honestly I'd want to recommend something like Mario Galaxy or Spyro 2 because they demonstrate the kind of action and platforming game styles that are pretty easy to understand as a new gamer, but also in fun ways! It's hard to give a rec if someone has no experience and no preference, cause I like to base recs on people's tastes so I'd hopefully be recommending a good one lol, but I think if someone had never played anything before and played galaxy or s2 it'd be a good base to figure out what things are appealing without the games being too overwhelming, yknow?

Gaming asks

[super-paper]

I find so interesting the Shigaraki and Toga dinamic(thanks to your recent post), I noticed that they were talking so similar in this final arc, but it's seem like it's was way before that they started with the similarities

tbh....!! I think Tomura and Himiko are easily some of the most interesting foils we've seen in the series!

Like, there's a tendency for the fandom to pigeonhole them into a "big brother/little sister" dynamic-- and while I def get where people are coming from, I also feel this tendency also causes people to gloss over how their characters/narratives play off each other? Which is a shame, bc there's an absolute smorgasbord of good stuff here.

The way Himiko is introduced as being driven primarily by love while Tomura is introduced as being driven primarily by hate is something that had me sold from the get go! "Wanting a world full of only things you love" vs "Wanting a world where you can destroy everything you hate" are goals that actually stem from the same root feeling for the both of these characters.

Their respective fixations on Ochako (the ultimate normal girl) and Izuku (the ultimate normal (comparatively speaking) boy) merits its own post, but again, the root feelings are the same-- a desire to be accepted and understood by someone on "the other side."

(tw for self-harm/suicide ment. under the read more)

Both of them are depicted as self harming to cope with stress before they ever consider harming other people, and this only escalates as their abuse worsens. Both of their "villain origins" are triggered by gradual build up of stress/misery over time, followed by a sudden and traumatic loss of control where they are depicted as crying the entire time-- but people zero in on the "creepy smiles" instead of their tears and use this as evidence that "they were always twisted/bad."

suicide tw: like, it's absolutely intentional that Hori depicts Himiko biting her wrists and then dreaming about her belly getting ripped open--The stomach in particular is heavily associated with suicide in Japanese society. Now, I don't believe Himiko actually wants to die-- rather, I feel Hori is using this as symbolism for her growing desires to "disappear" into the identities of other people. "Death of the self" is a consistent theme for Tenko, Himiko, and Touya.

There's still a degree of mystery on the source of Tomura's "itch," but I think we can at least agree that AFO's explanation is bullshit and that Tomura only buys into it out of self-hatred.

Something that's also frequently overlooked is that the text specifies that the boy Himiko attacked was "very well liked and popular with the other kids," which I feel adds an additional layer of context to what ultimately led to Himiko's breaking point. A lot of what drives Himiko is a desire to have close bonds and friendships with her peers/other girls, which she feels that she cannot obtain "as herself" due to a lifetime of rejection from her parents and classmates. We see a scene of her envying the smile of another girl and expressing a desire "to become her" in the same chapter where we have flashbacks of her parents and peers calling her own smile "creepy/demonic".

Cycling back to the whole "masks are a heavy theme in MVA" point from my other post: The LOV members (minus Dabi lmao) are all depicted as removing their masks in some capacity during this arc, but Tomura and Himiko stand out as being the only ones who put their masks back on as they retreat back into their usual coping mechanisms/self-denial. Tomura's masking makes heavy use of imagery/symbolism and is easy to miss if you only focus on the destruction of his physical "mask" (Kotaro's hand), and Himiko's masking is shown via her attempt to lose herself more deeply in the idea of becoming Ochako.

Both Tomura and Himiko are ultimately depicted as attempting to escape from an identity that only brings them pain-- Tomura attempts to distance himself from the pain of being Shimura Tenko through putting on the mask of "Shigaraki Tomura," while Himiko attempts to escape from the pain of being herself by "becoming the people she loves/admires."

Hori plays with the idea of villain and hero identities actually being a form of escapism multiple times in MHA, and these two are big examples of that (Other big examples include Endeavor using his hero identity to escape from being Enji/a decent father, Izuku's attempts to escape from being "worthless Deku" by completely changing the meaning of this nickname through his acts of heroism, Hawks flinching away from his real name as if uttering it out loud is some form of curse, and let's not even get started with AFO's multitude of issues bc we'll be here all day).

On that note: Tomura gets treated as if his villain name is his given name, Himiko gets treated as if her family name is her villain name!

Both of them have a moment of catharsis through the destruction of their abusive/failed homes-- but this destruction also serves as a double-edged sword that only reinforces the idea that they can never turn back in both of their minds. Granted, the destruction of Himiko's home is facilitated by Touya-- however, the similarities remain. Tomura still obsessively seeks to "destroy his home" even after it's long gone, because he is desperate to achieve that sense of catharsis and "relieve his itch" again.

"If you refuse to submit.... I'll just rewrite the story" and then he did! :)

Also, their characters both have a sort of "meta" aspect to them that I really enjoy, where their personal narratives are both targeted by characters who want to rewrite/exploit their stories for their own gain (and this is further complicated by the fact that Tomura and Himiko are ALSO unreliable narrators on top of all that).

Like, even their pasts are initially told to us through the lens of other people and skewed perspectives-- Himiko through the lens of sensationalist news reports + her parents, Tomura through the lens of his adult self + AFO's grooming. Himiko's parents insist that they did everything they could and that she was just "born bad," which mirrors the conclusion that Tomura reaches about himself after he reflects on his own past and comes to believe that he must've wanted his family to die. As readers with the benefit of actually seeing these events unfold, we know this is total bullshit-- Himiko's parents were emotionally abusive, and Tomura was absolutely devastated by the deaths of his family.

(And this is probably wishful thinking on my part, but I actually hope that the presence of the journalists at Gunga is also going to play a role in saving Himiko by the end of the series-- since her being catapulted into villainy was only facilitated by irresponsible + sensationalized journalism in the wake of her breakdown, and Curious was basically the ultimate manifestation of that. Journalist redemption arc? Maybe???)

Anyway, Hori's definitely put a lot of effort into writing these two, and the resolution to their stories is def what I'm most excited about!