#actually didnt he also have one for a single cryo mage in the city too? maybe this dude just hates mages in particular god damn

[kaeyacollection]

I just read the tags on the post you reblogged just now and— LMAO.

First: what the heck Crepus. Do you imagine if Kaeya's dad had actually just went for some juice and had an inconvenience— only to come back and his son is in someone else's home.

"Excuse me, I came for my son, Kaeya."

"Kaeya? Never heard of him. Are you sure you're at the right place?"

"I can see him shaking his hand from behind your back."

Second: Poor Jean and Kaeya, holding the government with their lives (through overworking) only to have their childhood friend (or brother, in Kaeya's case) insult the government and wanting her to quit.

Poor Kaeya who gets called lazy for working in something else other than office work or taking a break.

And they also have to deal with a vigilant and a murder nun. I mean, they have to deal with a guy, who can and will murder, running around with a low effort-low effect disguise. And that vigilant is the childhood friend they very much not want in jail. Then there's Rosaria I guess, but you don't hear people putting her nicknames, do you?

How many times do you think they have to slam their heads against a table trying to come up with excuses?

"A murder scene? Nah, this looks like a suicide"

"Captain, the victim is missing both arms."

"I'm sorry, I can't believe this happened. I swear us, the knights, are going to do anything in their power to find your missing fellow colleague."

Fatui guy: ...

I mean, how much paperwork must they cause (or cause to burn)? (Let's be honest, mostly Diluc. Guy has no chill. Rosaria at least I expect to be able to leave zero traces of a crime at all.)

And then they come across their childhood friend—

"Knights of Favonius, always so inefficient"

Jean must die a little inside every time they have to basically commit corruption by covering up a crime only to keep her friend out of jail and because they really don't have the man power to spare.

Kaeya is either losing ten years every time he hears any of the sort or getting ten steps closer to illumination by the sole amount of willpower he uses to not explode a blood vessel.

Varka, come back and bring them good news, horses and paid vacations, please. The stress is killing them or making them stronger.

Diluc uses the winery as a murder hotel and has Adelinde clean up the crime scene if that helps at all sjdjdjdjfjf

That's why the staff thinks she's a cannibal lmaoo people come in but don't leave all while Adelinde talks about how good the plants will grow when a guest vanishes asjsjdjdjd (I think they might have also mentioned concerning noises too but I'd have to go back and check)

I mean at least she's having fun with it sndjdjd also Crepus where the fuck did you find her and why was she so on board sndjdj like did Diluc even bring it up to her or did she catch his not at all subtle ass doing a murder and walked off to grab a shovel zero questions asked?

I wonder though if those two maids don't know about him being the Dark Knight Hero at all or if the staff just think his vigilante justice is like

Rescuing cats from trees and not murder spree pt. 2 sjdjdjdj

I mean he DID kill someone in the WINE CELLAR during a PARTY so like dndjfjfjfjf either he was sure as hell the guests were stocked up on wine or like part of the hiring process just has a hypothetical question about how ride or die they're willing to be sndndjd "Now you may have to cover for me, and the knights WILL be coming to ask questions, but we do have dental 🤷"

This is why Kaeya sent the Traveler to complete his commission and not the two whose maybe second thought is "can we kill this guy? I'm gonna kill this guy."

Actually that's unfair, Traveler's first thought is also "hey can we kill this dude? I'm already attempting to kill this dude"

Like I truly wonder if Diluc actually investigates or if he relies solely on his informants because my god the man certainly takes action first

I know he TRIES, I truly know he DOES understand information gathering is important. But like he also flat out kills the Hydro Mage Kaeya was getting information from (while calling him inefficient all while huffing out of breath lmaooo) and he absolutely charged at that poor man experiencing the worst day

So maybe- OH FUCK

HE FORGOES INFORMATION FOR DIRECT ACTION WHEN LOVED ONES ARE INVOLVED CAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT TO RISK LOSING THEM LIKE HIS DAD

LMAOOOO WELP that's one potential take at least sjdjdjd would make sense why he went so hard at a Hydro Mage when his brother is literally cryo djdjdjdjdjf

Which is great to pair with the thought that Kaeya avoids the winery BECAUSE guests keep disappearing and all invitations from the man who attacked him that night don't feel entirely safe

Jean being kept as in the dark as possible while Kaeya takes care of every report that just says "killer had red hair" (or "last known location Dawn Winery") and knows it's literally one of the two vigilantes in town sndjd like please wear a hat, not just a cloak, a cloak as it turns out, does nothing to cover up who you are when your hair is poking out

But yeah rip to Jean and Kaeya the duo where one oversees everything and the other works every job ajdjd dude does so much that citizens are just assigning him new roles like Diona calling him Guard Captian (which isn't too much of a stretch from what he currently does)

Honestly think when Varka comes back there's gonna be a reform whether the Knights like it or not ajdndjd suddenly a lot more people are gonna be agreeing with Diluc about inefficiency when the Captians Kaeya's already bad mouthed return and do a worse job than the like 2 people (and Party Captian) running the whole of Mond