#ace also doesn't understand why tech is crying

[thatoneloonaticsfan]

Idk if anyone else thought of this but here:

Duck: "Watch this Ace. I'm gonna do a thing."

Ace who just rolls his eyes: "Oh boy."

Ace watching from outside the lab doorway to see whatever Duck was doing backfired in his face:

Duck who goes up to Tech: "TECH! I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU!"

Tech who just turns to Duck annoyed as all hell: "What is it Duck?"

Duck: "Your bird privileges...."

Duck then holds a very confused Rev up in the air like a trophy: "HAVE BEEN PROVOKED!"

Duck, then runs off with Rev:

Ace: "Seriously, that's the big bit? Tech that was just very stupid right-"

Ace then sees Tech crying on the floor:

Tech: "My bird." ;~;

I don't know if this is funny or not, but I might make a comic of this if my iPad works and if I have motivation.

[thedelusionreaderbitch]

Coming out to the batfam as asexual

A/n: So asexuals are all different, even then I tried to make it as universal as possible but if you're sex favorable (I'm not so that's probably partially why I wrote it like that) this one (unfortunately) might not be for you!

Warnings: Being scared to come out, mentions of aphobia and killing people, I think that's it? You have been warned!

The reader is gender neutral!

Requested by: @bandshirts-andbooks

Ironically for being the world's best detectives no one really caught on

I think the only person who might of is Cass, but it's nothing for sure, she just saw your body language would change slightly when people talked about sex

The first person you tell is Alfred

You were probably having a bad day, maybe seeing some straight people talk about ace people in a really negative way, and perhaps some queer people online who told you, that ace people didn't belong in the community

And people just being shitheads in general towards the queer community and just all these laws being made against trans people everywhere can really wear someone down, right?

So it's the middle of the night and you're in the kitchen crying because it's just been a bad day

And Alfred comes in, "Mx. L/n are you alright?"

After you were adopted you never got Bruce's last name

"Ah, yes! Don't worry it's nothing!"

🥹

All it takes is one raised eyebrow from him and you're quickly defeated, and he pulls out a chair and sits next to you

"Don't let things fester for too long Mx. L/n, you know what happens to your brothers when they do."

Sighing you wring your hands through your hair (something you picked up from your father) "I just-"

"Alfred I think I'm asexual."

"There's a silence and half your brain is thinking maybe Alfred doesn't know what it is and the other half think he hates you now

"Mx. L/n you do not "think so" I'm pretty sure you know."

And that in itself is confirmation that he supports you, the way he's smiling makes you wonder how you could think anything else

Okay next you come out to Cass

Because Alfred slyly told you she might already know

She's supportive and tells you in her own way that she would hurt anyone who isn't

I also think she understands you the most because I headcanon (is it canon???) that Cass is asexual

So she's who you go for to vent, and eventually she'll come out to you as ace too!

Then there's Stephanie and Barbra

Steph squeals; "Another member of the alphabet mafia!" And Barbra recomends a bunch of asexual groups online where they share their personal experiences

While all this fluffiness is happening the batboys tm are trying to get back at you for winning the prank war last week

Naturally they go into your dating history, because why not?

Murder might be committed by Cass after this

There aren't very many people but there's ONE person from your high school days

And thanks to Tim's savvy tech skills they somehow find out you're a virgin

(don't ask)

At this point Damian didn't really know the plan, but he's mostly the distraction anyways!

In the past you had told them you weren't one

High school was not good for your baby ace ass alright?

Meaning they thought it was fair game because they were getting back at you for lying and winning the prank war

Imagine your surprise when at a rare dinner Jason, Tim, and Dick are glancing at each other mischievously

Bruce looks like he has no idea what's going on and Damian (for once) looks oddly innocent

"You know how we use to say Jason gets no bitches" Dick starts up

"Hey!"

"Well little Timmy here." Dick continues ignoring an angry Jay. "Found out you're worse than Jaybird and are a Virgin."

You just stare dumbfounded at their giggling faces

"I didn't know that this was part of the plan." Damian mutters

At this point you were much more confident in yourself and had momentairly forgetten that Bruce was still in the room

Just imagine seeing those faces

when you finally tell them

"I'm asexual fuckwads."

Their faces go BEAT RED

"Oh, um..."

"Also Tim, idk how you found out I was still a virgin, but if you do anything like that again..."

The look on Tim's face - it was very clear that your threat got through to him

Then you remembered Bruce was still in the room

Slowly you turned your head to face him

Instead of saying anything he just gave you a smile

That's how you came out to the Batfam, from being scared, to be a confident badass

-thedelusionreaderbitch

dc taglist: no one yet!