#absolutelyyy check out their harvey / two's account if you haven't already. barton's just got some serious beef with them BC of what i said
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mad-hunts · 1 month ago
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How many shots would it take for you to sleep with @twcfaces ?
at the time that barton was asking this question, both him and matilda were about to enjoy some popcorn as a snack — you know, because it's delicious — but after hearing the last word? he stopped what he was doing. and coincidentally enough, so did matilda because she was about to grab some popcorn. but she heard all about what he'd told as well as tried to do to barton. which was almost kill him.
but anyways (LOL), you could practically feel the judgment coming from the both of them even though they weren't saying a thing: the best way to describe the stare they were giving the anonymous person who asked the question is that it was kind of like the, 'really? right in front of my salad?' glare, except if they were just exasperated instead of angry.
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a few beats of tense silence passed, then before barton turned to matilda and was about to speak to her. though, it seemed she had guessed what her father was about to say already and left the room. that way, he could 'deal' with this anonymous person. barton cleared his throat then and faked a smile towards them, ❝ ahh — you know, i really didn't want to have to do this, anon. but you've forced my hand now... and i was trying to quit too, ❞ an overexaggerated sigh left his lips as he pulled a cigarette out of a pack he pulled out of the most random place ever (in a compartment in the cabinets that were too high for him, which he'd put there on purpose so he couldn't reach them easily. though he was lying about quitting so don't feel bad about that anon JSJSJ LOL)
barton stepped out onto his porch then and lit it, looking a bit like this sullen cat as he appeared to have lost all of the will to live. but he was really just being overdramatic.
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❝ alright, who sent this in, hmm?! are you purposely trying to make me throw up in my mouth a little? because if so, then you succeeded, ❞ barton rose his voice but not enough to be considered yelling after saying this. a shiver ran down his spine just thinking about it. i mean, it wasn't that harvey and two-face weren't attractive in a general sense, but he literally told barton that maybe jim should've 'finished the job' whenever his father was killed by killing HIM too, and he also tried to shoot him (though he did technically provoke him, that was besides the point in his mind)!!
❝ i honestly can't believe that someone would ask this. i mean, part of me actually can, but you know what i mean. i'm not attracted to him at all, so i'm afraid i would have to take like... however many shots i need to not just get drunk BUT black-out drunk. like, i wouldn't remember anything of what happened between us, kind of black-out drunk, ❞ an incredulous laugh left his mouth while he put down the bowl of popcorn he was carrying.
barton narrowed his eyes at the other in suspicion before doing the ' i'm watching you ' motion with his fingers. ❝ alright, so i can't pretend to know why you saw it fit to put me through the terrible ordeal that is imagining me being with them, but just so you know; once i find out who you are... because i WILL find out, i'd watch your back. if this is the man himself though? i've got a special thing for you, and it's this star. ❞
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#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#ooc post.#AHHH i swear i don't mean any ill will towards you anon!! barton is just a big Meaniehead and doesn't like harvey / two's at all -#even though he honestly kinddd of deserves to be held accountable for his actions OFC but since he never matured emotionally...#well at least completely he often blames things on other people or things but you didn't hear that from me 🤧 LOLLL#and also no cats actually smoked a cigarette during the making of this page so don't worry about that y'all. it's just a funny meme i found#hahah BUT it's the way that i made a whole new hair filter to put on characters just for this in regards to matilda for me JSJSJ#and also just pretend that the hair is a lighter blonde (i honestly just couldn't find any good pictures with her FC to crop the hair out o#that were completely blonde so... yeah) and OFC no hate towards twcfaces as well as i think they are lovely and you should-#absolutelyyy check out their harvey / two's account if you haven't already. barton's just got some serious beef with them BC of what i said#and also because he's a serial killer meaniehead who literally STOLE one of jim's kidneys but of course this man would omit that info-#from this because if barton is one thing... it's an unreliable narrator 💀 but yeahhh i hope y'all liked the pictures in here as well as-#the star because the instant i saw it i was like 'this. THIS is the one' because it's just such a goofy insult that barton would use it LMA#tw: mentions of murder
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