#absolutely kudos for that (and hot damn is that a low bar)

[cuteasamuntin]

Hm, I vote “Paying your writers, actors, and crew a fair wage for their labor!”

Oh weird, that’s not an option.

What about the less prominent but still-respected themes of “Transparency in aggregate streaming data and collection methodology” or “No draconian definitions for an account ‘household’ based on location/IP.”

Dang, looks like those are out too. Okay, lemme re-read the question.

Yeah, I’m gonna have to go with “Not focusing on the least important part of an ethnoreligion’s cultural coming-of-age ritual in marketing tactics.”

Cast your vote in the rest of the polls here.

You Are So Not Invited To My Bat Mitzvah premieres Friday on Netflix.

[dragonnan]

fanfic tag game

I was tagged by @disappearinginq​- these are the absolute best fun!

Questions:

Ao3 Name: dragonnan (same as everywhere: Psychfic, FFN, etc)

Fandoms: *cracks knuckles* You want, like, ALL of them?? Welp I’m obsessively listy so here we go:

Currently writing fic for: 

Sherlock

MCU

Psych

In the recent past wrote fic for (and may again as there are WIPs remaining):

SPN

HTTYD

Simon & Simon (as part of a crossover)

Lucifer

Wrote fics years ago but probably won’t write more:

Monk

Star Trek Voyager

Big O (as part of a crossover)

Wrote 1 or 2 fics but probably won’t write more:

Cowboy Bebop

Inuyasha

Lethal Weapon

Invisible Man (2001)

X Files

Quantum Leap

Fullmetal Alchemist

Haven’t published any fics yet but have (or had) ideas:

Doctor Who (specifically 10 and 11)

Burn Notice

Psych

Beauty and the Beast (1980′s series)

Moonlight

In Plain Sight

Star Wars

Haven’t had ideas but I love the fandom and may someday write fic:

Prodigal Son

Star Trek (TNG primarily)

MacGyver (1980′s)

Number of fics: Ummm.... It’s a little hard actually to parse that as some of my stories are posted as larger collections so let’s see what I can do...

Psych: 168 (give or take)

Sherlock: 8

MCU: 19

Other: 29

Total: 224

1. Fic you spent the most time on:  Can I even remember anymore?  I suppose Where There is Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth (Psych) which I think took me over 5 years to complete.  However, I wasn’t straight writing that entire time so not certain if it specifically qualifies?  Another contender is The Tiger and the Shark (Sherlock) which I posted pretty consistently and took about 2 years.    

2. Fic you spent the least time on:  I’m not counting those 100 word challenge fics cause, please.  I think the least amount of time I spent on truly legit stories would be one of these possibilities (cause fuck if I know for sure): Wibble Wobble Wibble Wobble To and Fro (Psych), A Good Heart (Psych), Making the Cut With a Squeeze of Lemon (Psych) 

3. Longest Fic: Where There is Wailing and Gnashing of Teeth (Psych) 104,522

4. Shortest Fic:  Promises to the Dead (again, not counting 100 word challenge fics), This Week on Psychfic - 280 words

5. Most hits: Just Pieces; Passion, Pain, & Parody (Psych fic collection.  Does that count?)

6. Most kudos: All Nighter (Psych)

7. Most comment threads/ reviews: Standing from Falling (Psych) 352 Reviews

8. Fave Fic you wrote: Ooohh screw this question!  Staawwwp!!! I can’t just pick A favorite but I gueeeesss I could narrow it to a few which out of over 200 damn stories you should be grateful I can narrow it down that much (of COURSE I love my own writing - that’s why I do it!).  I’ll also only include completed works: Psych - Suffer the Night, I Would Do Anything for Love; Even That, You Give Me Fever MCU - Just Another Day in New York, Did You Make it to the Milky Way to See the Lights all Faded, Simple Math Sherlock: The Tiger and the Shark, A Russian, Two Spies, and an Elephant

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on:   The Tiger and the Shark (expand) Fury (Psych) - rewrite

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning:  How about both?

Untitled Iron Dad and Spider Son fic:

It started with sand.  Benign. Sorta... tan...  Fucking sand and yet there he was, trembling like he'd just spent the last two hours in subzero temps wearing nothing more than a speedo and a grin.

"Mr. Stark?"

Tony gulped; curling his toes before looking up at the young man across from him... who was wearing an expression that mirrored the anxiety thumping in Tony's chest. "Hey... you okay, Kid?"

Peter shrugged - his long fingers clenching and stretching.  "Y-yeah.  Sure!  I mean..." he swallowed, "not like anything bad happens at the beach, right?"

Tony tapped his teeth around his lower lip.  "It's just sand..." Not like sand ever hurt anyone...

Why were they there again?  Oh right; facing demons.  Because that shit never backfired.

The ocean was calm that afternoon. Behind them the sounds of the pier carried with shrill laughter and the cacophony of vendors, shrieking children, and seagulls.  Lots of seagulls - drawn to the scent of funnel cakes and french fries dominating the blend of scents that normally drew Tony, as well, but currently just twisted the pool of nausea threatening his pride.

Peter drew his focus back with a sharply drawn breath.  Then another.  Wind flicked the curls that had been pasted to his forehead with sweat.  Tony pushing his feet through the hot sand - too hot - a decade later and he still couldn't stand the feel of hot grains...  until he stood alongside the kid. Not looking away from the reflection of sunlight on water he nudged his elbow against Peter's arm.  "Not so bad during the day, yeah?"

Peter blinked rapidly - making something like a smile.  "No, yeah... way better." he nodded - looking about as convinced as Pepper would be at the prospect of birthing octuplets.

Tony pushed his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose.  The most expensive shades on the planet and he still hadn't managed to stop them slipping down when he sweated.  He cupped his left elbow in his right hand and watched the para-sailors and jet skiis and swimmers splashing in the low waves.  No surfers; not that day.

He wouldn't have been there if not for Pete.  Kid's idea.  Apparently therapy was the new heroin.  Better come down, he supposed.  Even at that he'd tried for distraction, first.  Tony was nothing if not the Grand Master of distractibility. Offered everything from a road trip along the East Coast to helping the kid build a personal bot (who was he kidding, he planned both as a graduation present).  And, yet, here there were.  Revisiting trauma because what better way to spend a Saturday?

Story Idea - Doctor Who/ Doctor Strange crossover:

Plot: Stephen encounters a woman in a parallel world – a world protected, not by a Sorcerer Supreme, but by a man known only as “The Doctor”.  He soon finds out that this Doctor is unique among the worlds he's explored.  For all he has seen - all the beings he’s encountered, he has never met a woman with such energy coiled within the depth of her brain as the ordinary, redheaded woman he bumps into walking through a parallel London.  In fact, so powerful are the forces within her that he is immediately struck with a chaos of discordant images – of giant wasps and singing squid-like beings and screeching salt shakers and before he can even begin to understand it a face – eyes furious and dark – glaring from a raging fire. “GET OUT!  THIS IS YOUR ONLY WARNING! GET OUT, NOW, WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE!”

Stephen figures out that Donna is slowly being consumed by the Time Lord energies locked inside her. The Doctor may have barred her memory but it still seeps through – with each exposure weakening the walls even more.  Eventually, it will consume her.    

This is not something he can fix alone, however.  He will need to track down the man who first created those mental blocks and left Donna behind to slowly go insane.  The Doctor.

Tagged: @sgam76 @silentsaebyeok @kitcat992 @mizjoely @villaniouslyawesome @itsjustdg @hanuko @jennberry1984

[ayashiki-i-i]

Last Friday, I had the absolute joy and privilege to see Be More Chill in London!

(Yes, last Friday, this has been sitting in my drafts for over a week because I couldn’t figure out how to appropriately convey my delight with this show, and also yes, joy and privilege, call me dramatic but I swear to god nothing on this Earth makes me appreciate my life quite as live theatre.)

I have loved this show for a very long time. Not quite since its first Two Rivers Theatre run, but very early on from when it caught the internet’s attention. I was at the start of what was to become a viral sensation, and I was with the show, rooting for it, hoping for it, ever since. I feel like I walked the journey from crossing million hits on Spotify to the Broadway alongside the cast and creators. I felt immensely happy and proud for these people I never met when they announced their off-Broadway return, and I honest to god cried the day they opened on Broadway. Needless to say, I was overjoyed, literally jumping with happiness, when they announced they will stage a production on West End. Or technically off-West End? I’m still very confused how The Other Palace is not West End and Victoria Palace literally around the corner is West End... Anyway. I have not walked into that theatre on Valentine’s Day with low expectations.

And my Mount Everest high expectations were far, far exceeded and shot somewhere into the stratosphere.

I really can’t with words describe how much I loved this show. Joes Iconis and Tracz managed to hit some very special spot with this musical. It’s truly hard to describe, but this show just makes you happy. It makes you involved and interested. And I gotta tell you, I think we hit the press night, because there was a bunch of people (very respectfully) scribbling on their pads and iPads during the show, so this wasn’t an audience primed and geared for this type of musical. And that’s not even counting all the parents chaperoning their teenagers. And I can guarantee you everyone had a great time. During the intermission I went to get a drink and witnessed several conversations between aforementioned parents that all pretty much amounted to “wow, this is actually good!” It’s honestly such a treat to be in an audience that’s genuinely enjoying themselves.

This show is funny, and heartfelt, and charming. So charming. It has somehow a vibe of a really well done high school production, which could maybe sound like a criticism but i swear it isn’t!

I haven’t seen much of the previous productions, except few clips from the Two Rivers bootleg slime tutorial, but I really tried not to watch too much, hoping against hope there will be a revival one day (I try not to watch shows I have a chance of seeing one day. I’m fortunate to have the chance of having the full experience live so I try not to ruin it for myself lol). I gobbled up all the official promo clips and videos from the NYC revival, being super unlucky and managing to plan my New York trip in that small window when BMC just closed Off-Broadway and before it got on Broadway. I haven’t even listened to the Broadway recording, because by the time it came out I knew they’ll be staging a production over here. So i went in quite blind. With all that previous ado, this is how it was:

The book is so good. So so good. Many times when I fall in love with an album, the actual musical doesn’t hold up because the book doesn’t compare (hi, Dear Evan Hansen). But BMC is as engaging and fun between the songs as during them. Tbh I don’t love the changes to the songs they made, but I don’t really hate them either... Now having listened to the Broadway recording they reverted somewhat back to the original album on West End and I’m happy they did, but still. Especially Pitiful Children did not deserve the cuts. But I mean its still mostly the same album and it’s brilliant and fun, and ok, Looser, Geek or Whatever is a bop.

(Although I always kinda liked that Jeremy didn’t have a typical big “hero song��� because he keeps mentioning how he isn’t a hero and it was kinda ironic that his own show refused him the hero treatment, but the song is solid.)

This cast is EVERYTHING. I’m sorry all previous casts, I love you and I respect you but i really think the British cast is (so far) the peak? Obviously as I said I don’t have the full picture to compare, but honestly these guys are all so good and I can’t imagine anyone else in these roles, they set the bar so high. Yes, even Michael. Omg I’m so sorry George Salazar! This role is his in a very special way, and I feel blasphemous saying this! But that’s what makes Blake Patrick Anderson so special, because I didn’t think I will ever be able to accept another Micheal than George Salazar. But from the first moment Anderson appears on stage, you don’t think of George Salazar. This right here is a Micheal and that’s it. I think he’s slightly less... Manic, than Salazar, and more caring, but also more stubborn, and nerdy. My friend said after the first act the character’s problem is that he’s a bit too likeable and it’s almost unbelievable he would be a social outcast and she was right. The dude is so damn likeable! So charming, so positive. And then Micheal in the Bathroom hits and omg does it hit. Also Blake Patrick Anderson has a really long name is very pretty. A+ snack. I’m in love. Scott Folan is, uh, I don’t really love him vocally... Ok I liked him until Loser Geek of Whatever. I don’t know, maybe it wasn’t his day. Or maybe that song is just written for Will Roland and no one will ever measure up? Tbh I haven’t seen Roland sing it live so who knows, maybe it is one of those songs that’s hard to perform without yelling a bit. Praying circle for the West End cast album? However Scott Folan’s acting is a masterclass. He’s so awkward in the first act, so sad, but also sweet. Actually I said i didn’t love his singing but when his voice cracks all over in his first few songs it’s superb and also his “Christiiine~” is really beautiful and lovely, so, dunno *shrugs*. And then in the second half he totally sells his confidence and assholer-y and like... They seem like two different jeremys, the squipped and un-squipped one. But ultimately he just gives such good-kid vibes. He seems like the perfect midpoint between Will Connolly’s shy Bambi and Roland’s geeky recluse. This Christine is absolutely feral. Like, you have no idea. Some people commented on the video of I Love Play Rehersal from the rehearsals that this Christine is not chaotic enough, so I’m seriously worried how chaotic Stephenie Hsu was? :D In any case Miracle Chance I thought was perfect, the ideal mixture of quirky but relatable, sweet but strong. Also she is hilarious. I’m pretty sure she got the most laugh out of the audience, not just because the actress’s absolutely perfect comedic timing but also that role is so well written. Like you really can’t get the full idea of this character until you watch the show, you know? It’s very layered, but each layer is easy to get so she makes a really fun character to watch. The Squip is hot. Like so hot. And his costumes are wonderful. And I know I’m not the only one who didn’t love Jason Tam’s accent as Squip and like... I think I know what he was going for but it just doesn’t work for me. This Squip is a lot more like Eric William Morris, just more hot. Oh yeah I mean the dude is fantastic actor too, and his voice is something impressive, but mostly I was just thinking “hot” whenever he was on stage :D James Hameed’s Rich is vocally stunning. By far the best Squip Song I have ever heard. Also he has Pickle Rick tattoo?? It’s fucking brilliant I HATE IT! :D Millie O’Connel is perfect of course. She has such a presence on stage. It was hilarious when she came out after the show, with her hair down and make-up off and said hi and people mostly kinda ignored her cause... She’s really a hurricane on stage and when she dials it down just a notch I really think people don’t connect her to her stage persona :D

(Also like, massive kudos to The Other Palace’s stage door, cause they allow you to just hang around the bar where the cast has to go through to leave the place, so no dirty alleyways stage dooring in rain and cold and possible pickpockets around.)

I really loved the staging, and it’s very small, very minimal, which isn’t something I normally like, so well done! They definitely dialled back from the Broadway (the bean bags are back!) and honestly the minimal props and simple set really suit this show. It adds to that almost-like-a-really-good-school-play charm. But also they have this massive LED screen as the background so they can change and move and animate their backdrop and it’s honestly so impressive. The artwork is so perfectly in line with the show’s aesthetic. And it’s building up and up towards the show’s climax which I thought was pretty subtle and pretty neat creative decision.

Ugh this is so long I didn’t think it would be so long :D But I have one criticism I cannot not mention. And I kinda always had this, but seeing it live it jumps out on me more - I don’t feel Jeremy and Christine :| I mean don’t get me wrong. The actors have amazing chemistry, their added song is the one that I actually really like and it makes sense, there’s so much more meaningful interaction they have in the show than the songs wold suggest. But. It still doesn’t quite sit well. Besides the fact that I don’t think the show’s narrative is about Jeremy getting the girl - that’s not really his character arc. But also, although they’re not incompatible, he gets the girl he doesn’t even really know, and she definitely doesn’t know him. I think I would prefer if they just stayed friends at the end, but if there had to be romantic conclusion... Well, I mean who doesn’t ship boyf friends, but seriously if Michael was a girl I’m pretty sure he’d be the romantic endgame for Jeremy. You know the type, the old friend who was by the protagonists side and believed in him all along? Yeah. But besides that, i was surprised to find I kinda liked Jeremy with Brooke too? I mean they have the same problem as Jeremy and Christine, with not knowing each other and all that, but at least it’s mutual, and they seemed to have a spark. But maybe it’s just because I unexpectedly really, really loved Brooke (she doesn’t have much space on the album and no one ever really talks about her, why does no one really talk about her???). She defies a lot of her archetype, she seems like such a sweet person. I guess I would just like to see more of her, and more depth to her, which a romance with the protagonist would’ve given her.

But tbh the show devotes a lot more time than I thought it would for Christine and Jeremey’s relationship to develop and it isn’t unrealistic, so it ended up being a pretty minor issue, which i though would be a bigger one.

Tl;dr (oh my god why is this so long????) this show is everything I wanted and more. The West End cast is amazing, charming and delightful and each of them is perfectly cast to really embody their character, while giving some fresh outlook on characters I thought I knew very well and filling very big shoes of the original cast I thought couldn’t be replaced. Also I didn’t talk to any of them but they spend a long time hanging out with the fans after the show and seemed genuinely super nice and pleased with the love the show is getting. The book is more than an equal partner to the music I already was in love with (also Joe Iconis was at the show I saw! I didn’t talk to him because I’m me and I will forever regret it!). The Other Palace’s staging and direction is wonderful, and the choreography is impressive and very on brand with the rest of the show, very modern, very electro and robot. I enjoyed every second and the standing ovation at the end was well deserved.

Just to re-affirm how much I loved this show - just few days after seeing it I booked a ticket to go see it again almost immediately lol. So if anyone is seeing it this Wednesday 26th Feb and you can telepathically pick me in the audience come say hello!

(Or like, drop me a message like a normal person if you’re also going alone and want to meet with someone to seem less like a weirdo! :D)

[reallygoodbuddy]

My honest to god thoughts on Strathcona Spirits

Today was my last day at Strathcona Spirits! Now that I’m no longer on the payroll and have nothing to lose or gain, I feel like I can speak honestly to what it is Strathcona Spirits produce in that tiny little pink shoebox. Speaking as a man with a decent palate, a lot of (maybe too much?) experience tasting spirits of all kinds, and having started Canada’s Best New Bar 2018 (woot woot!), let me give you my however-educated hot take on the sauce cooked up at Strathcona Spirits. 

In my travels around the province as a sales rep, I have tasted many (if not all) of the now 28 craft distilleries in our fair province (and those that have gone the sad way of the dodo as well). Some of them are bad. Some are mediocre. Some are good. Very good. In fact it leans towards very good, and I think this is owing to the small scale of production. I suppose that’s no eureka moment, but some people still don’t get this. When you work in such small batches with a molecular attention to detail, and when you are committed to cutting no corners in sourcing your raw material or hurrying the process of fermentation or buying cheap old worn out barrels or cheaping out on bitter / boring juniper from this cheap region or that (not naming names), the spirits dripping out the other end of the still simply have a much better chance of being excellent. Doesn’t mean they will be, but the odds are much better.

I think what some people do not understand is the utterly gargantuan scale at which some of their favourite international spirits are made. They think “how could something made in my backyard for only three years possibly be as good or better than this much longer-lived product that’s fame has brought it half way across the world to my local liquor store, that has achieved so much fame that they are now an international standard, and yet selling for $10-$20 less a bottle!” Oh boy… it is not that these international products cannot be good. Some of them are great (and some of them deserve a total moratorium... and some of them are the very products some of my favourite bartenders shill for every year as the competition rounds start, booooo!, just kiddingggg I love you guys and who wouldn’t love to go on a big fancy all inclusive trip somewhere and be recognized for transforming at-best-mediocre spirits into something that tastes palatable, you are champions in my eyes no matter what). The fact is that most of the world’s best spirits, wines, beers, ciders, cheeses, etc etc etc, are not made in large enough quantities to be widely exported, if at all. The insane scale at which those other bottles were made guarantees that the attention to detail is lost (would you rather be served a dish made for you or a dish made for an army and scooped into your bowl? would you rather have a wound stitched with a needle or a chopstick?) and this means the bad batches are just blended in with the good batches and the base spirit itself is almost always bland at best or rubbing alcohol at worst. There are great spirits made on massive scale, absolutely!, but the chances get worse, NOT BETTER, as the scale increases. For some reason, however, there are still craft bartenders who see this scenario the opposite way, thinking the larger brands are more likely to be good and the smaller distilleries are just learning and pawning off their learning process to the public at twice the price while hiding behind the good faith of being locally produced. This does happen, yes, in all things, but not nearly as often as you might think, and what is the all-too-common reverse? Huge multi-nationals pawning off their shill onto us and putting the marketing mega budget lipstick on the proverbial pig. We all know how many of the best marketed brands make bland boring weak tasteless garbage. But if you think that big brands have the benefit of the doubt and small distillers don’t, I can’t help but think that the marketing worked on you, fellow bartender. If this is your default setting, I strongly encourage you to reconsider. Yes, your craft distillery cannot fly you to the distillery and comp your first two cases when the new cocktail menu drops or give you branded umbrellas for your patio, but I can guarantee you there is a lot more heart and soul in that bottle. Anyone who appreciates wine knows that scale matters (and we celebrate the difference between vintages and vineyards, vive la différence!). Do you want an estate wine? Or one that is blended from a hundred vineyards so that your last bottle of Apothic tastes just like your next one? 

With all that said, I will be the first to acknowledge that there is a huge discrepancy in quality among craft spirits, just as surely as there is for internationally marketed spirits, and nothing out there is automatically good just because it is produced in Alberta, or anywhere else for that matter. But I have now begun to ramble and get off track. I really bring all this to the fore for the simple reason of testifying, now that I have nothing to gain from it, that it is my honest to God opinion that Strathcona Spirits are making the best damn juice in the province. I have tried the different distilleries’ products. Some are well made but boring. Some are interesting but not well made. Some are both (kudos!) and some are neither (but maybe they will be eventually!). But at the end of the day, I think that what Strathcona is distilling is always creative without being eye-rolling and yet still coming out wildly delicious, which is the true challenge. It’s like trying to make music no one has ever heard before (easy) or trying to make music that sounds good (easy): the true challenge is making music that no one has every heard before that also sounds amazing.

How do I love thee, you Strathcona Spirits, let me count the ways: Eschewing all flavoured vodka yet making an exceedingly flavourful vodka, easily one of the best vodkas I’ve ever tasted, anywhere and from anywhere. Big bodied. Bold. Expressive of our central albertan wheat and the terroir it flourishes in. A bread basket of a vodka for the bread basket of North America. And then making a big bold low-toned robust gin that can put some hair on your chest, a gin equivalent of left-bank Bordeaux while nearly everyone else out there these last ten-gin-renaissance-years seems enamoured of delicate light floral gins that one might liken to champagne, if I can torture the metaphor. I like those floral gins too, but I strongly believe that Strathcona makes a bartender’s gin, one that performs outstandingly well with amaro and vermouth, and at the end of the day, those are the only gin drinks I will ever order. I mean sure, shake with it all you want. Such a waste. I will avert my eyes. And then aging that gin in virgin oak quarter casks, it’s nuts, I can’t believe Adam was bold enough to try this, I can’t believe how well it worked. A very expensive experiment, and it paid. The BAG is what won me over to Strat, because every other barrel aged gin I had tasted before this one was gross. (I’ve had some other good ones since, but still, most are gross). I will say that, in my own personal opinion, the barrel aged gin is the most finicky of the bunch and requires a true bartender to wield it well. Some of the most fascinating drinks I’ve tried by bartenders using our spirits have been ones with the barrel aged gin. But that’s because it doesn’t behave like gin, it doesn’t taste great in tonic, it doesn’t go well with dry vermouth, so it takes someone who knows how to work intuitively with the oak aspect and carve new paths forward (or just subs it into whisky classics!). I maintain that it makes the best Sazerac riff out there. First virgin oaked quarter casked gin in the world, and a gin suitably big and with a low enough profile to actually benefit from barrelling, none of these herbs or flowers or vegetables that just clash with the natural flavours American oak imparts. And then there is that ruby queen, the Pinot Gin, a lucky stroke of genius. It is easily my favourite of the whole line. Finishing gin in ex-BC Pinot Noir casks means pulling out all the old sticky oxidative pinot living in the staves of the oak, and damn! The way it just melts into the gin as it sits, the gentle toasted french oak nuttiness sneaking in there, the dried cherry and forest floor and cola notes from the wine, all combining with the low baking spice and bitter orange peel profile of the gin, the result is this uncanny sarsaparilla and orange marmalade and cherry dr. pepper aspect that’s as delicious as a sipper as it is beautiful in every cocktail I’ve tried it with. 

And then there are the whiskies. I have been enjoying little samples from the barrel at full strength over the time I’ve worked here and I am always stunned. The belgian yeast was a stroke of genius, seeing as we’re using witbier/hefeweizen hard red spring brewer’s wheat to begin with. I am pretty sure these are the first virgin oaked wheat whiskies, at least from what I have ever been able to find online or asking the various whisky nerds and store owners I encounter in my travels, and a virgin oaked wheat whisky is well overdue. It is a brilliant new category that Strathcona is pioneering, and one that Edmonton is authentically positioned to spearhead, seeing as our Fort Edmonton pioneers were making wheat whisky and topping it with just a splash of rye while our neighbours to the south were drinking straight rye. Wheat is the last of the four major grains to be reevaluated and elevated (so move over malt, corn, and rye) and these Strathcona whiskies are going to be such big bold burly unrepentant whiskies, just the way I prefer. I wish I could have still been around to sell them when they dropped. 

In writing fiction and poetry we have a simple rule: show don’t tell. Any talented salesperson, knowing it or not, has absorbed this rule in sales as well. As the rep for Strathcona Spirits, it would be extremely suspect for me to walk into a place and say: honestly, in my opinion, our distillery is making the best spirits in the province. Even if I cushion that by talking about the other Alberta distilleries I love, it would still ring hollow. Now that I am gone and stand nothing to gain (I have been waiting so long for this), I just want to step up to the microphone and say that I have tasted more Alberta craft spirits than most, and in my honest opinion, Strathcona Spirits are the best, and that is my honest personal opinion. They are full bodied. They are strong in flavour while smooth on the palate. They are inventive. They are interesting. They are dynamic. They are hand made. They are purposeful. And as someone who started championing these spirits long before I worked for them, I maintain that they are patently superb spirits for cocktailing. I would even go so far as to say that they are better as cocktail ingredients than as stand alone spirits, and that is their great advantage. Don’t get me wrong, they are wonderful sipped, but their flavour design is so conducive to playing and marrying well with other bottles and ingredients. I love them. I hold about six other Alberta distilleries in high esteem, sometimes it is all of their line, sometimes just some of it (and may I take a moment to shout out some of the more interesting products: Wildlife Amaro, Burwood Honey distillate, and the Eau Claire Equineox). I still feel like more distilleries need to take more risks and try to invent their way forward. Not in kitschy ways but in fundamental and elemental ways. I will not list the many ways I feel Strathcona does this because this is getting way too long. And I should also mention that I would never speak ill of other craft distilleries because we are not each others’ competition, we are all in this together. Bombay is our competition. Crown Royal is our competition. Grey Goose is our competition. If we can peel even a portion of their drinkers over to Alberta craft, we will all win together. 

I don’t know how much spirit drinking I’ll be doing now that I am moving onto my newest adventure but I know I’ll still be ordering Strathcona drinks off the menu and anxiously waiting for the whisky releases. 

What is your newest path, Joe, you might ask? Well, kind soul still reading this beefy prose in our age of declining attention spans, your old boy Joey Gurba is taking a partnership role in Garneau Block, a fledgling natural wine importing agency! If you know me well, you know I’m obsessed with wine. Gabriella has been kind enough to invite me on board to grow this thing into a juggernaut for wines that are alive and fascinating, and we have five new wineries coming to you over the next eight weeks. Wineries from Mount Gambier (Australia), Maryland (USA), Puglia (Italy), Castilla y León (Spain), and Châteauneuf-du-Pape / Côtes-du-Rhône (France). If you follow me on instagram, rest assured, you’ll see no shortage of coverage. And do follow @garneaublock if you haven’t yet. And, of course, if you don’t follow @strathconaspirits yet, thou must check thyself lest thou wreck thyself. They’re good folks, good good folks, and even in this trying time of layoffs and all, they have been converting the still over to making hand sanitizer and giving it away for free (for as long as they can afford to). If you’re not quarantined, drop by and grab some (inevitable) quarantini supplies and a bottle of free hand sani ASAP (or order from your favourite liquor store, most of them are delivering now). Quick, go, before we are all forced into our houses indefinitely.  

Thanks for reading all this. I’m embarrassed by it on some level, something about it feels a little uncouth, but I have always been a little uncouth and unconventional, right? And since I am not trying to sell any Strathcona to anyone anymore, I’m pressing send and speaking my heart for these guys. Gooooooo Strathcona.