#aNY W A Y i rly hope i didn't eff up any language bc i wrote this all on phone and haven't actually proofed it

[presumenothing]

more urban less legend

the nagano fictober continues – or, 007 + 026: exhausted/stretch, except that it’s only tangentially related to certain meanings of those words but hey, listen, no fic is perfect,

Yui powerwalks to the last vacant table in the cafeteria and only stops herself from flopping down bonelessly through sheer power of will.

She'd forgotten how exhausting the police academy could be; it's only thanks to the fact that she's kept physically active over the past year that she hasn't completely keeled over yet, even if most of that activity took the form of cleaning out the stables and upkeeping the Torada family grounds. Still more than a little short of actually being on active duty, obviously, but at least she'd managed to scrape rather more than a pass on the shuttle run, and the time away hadn't blunted her firearms or kendo abilities any, either.

And to think that she still had to come back tomorrow for the written tests, Yui sighs into the glass of green tea. At least the Nagano academy had decent enough food, on the grander scale of things.

(She's more than a little curious – and possibly a little afraid – to find out how Kan-chan had managed to get his requalification, considering… well, a lot of things. In a sense his reinstatement had probably been easier than hers, seeing as she'd completely quit the force while he'd just been declared MIA, but on the other hand –

Yui just really really hopes that he didn't tackle any of the examiners onto the ground to demonstrate his capabilities or anything. Especially now that she's personally witnessed that Kan-chan can do whack-a-criminal just as well even with only half his field of vision intact, crutch and all. She'd heard that both his driving and firearms permits had been suspended until further notice, but Yui makes a mental note to double-check that, even if it means having to sit through an unusually annoyed rant about either one.

Like he'd ever been the one to drive them around even when he'd had a license, jeez.)

Yui's interrupted from her thoughts by a hesitant voice, and she looks up to see an academy trainee gesturing uncertainly at the seat across from hers. "Is this taken?"

"Not at all, please go ahead," Yui answers with what she hopes is a reassuring smile.

"Ah, thank you! I'm Tachibana from first year, by the way," the trainee adds as she sets her tray down with a relieved expression.

Had she ever looked this young even when she'd been new here? Yui doesn't think so, but then again all three of them had chosen to finish undergrad first before the academy, while she's pretty certain this Tachibana-san is probably no more than a full year out of high school at best.

Though in retrospect that probably explains the slight nervous edge still in her voice – between the age difference and Yui not wearing the standard uniform, Tachibana has probably just assumed that Yui's here to conduct lessons rather than take them.

Or possibly that's just the effect of finally meeting another woman on campus? From what she's seen today, the ratio has improved since she was in training, but admittedly that's not saying much – back in her year there were so few female trainees that she'd ended up rooming with three of the senior-year students in the dorm just to make up the numbers.

But anyway. "I'm Yui," she says, then stalls out briefly over how to continue. The chief basically assured her that they were expediting her reinstatement as much as possible (he hadn't said why – probably Kan-chan had thrown some fit over not working with anyone else, she supposes) but until then she still isn't a member of the department yet. And it's all a bit too involved for lunch talk, either way.

"My situation's a little complicated," she finally settles on. "I had to take a break a while ago, so I'm just back for my qualification tests, you know?"

Tachibana-san leans forward in obvious interest, her previous trepidation apparently forgotten. "Oh, really? Which department are you aiming for, if you don't mind me asking?"

At least Yui has no trouble answering this one. "Headquarters, first division. What about you?"

"Mountain or air rescue, but I heard the selection's really strict," comes the slightly-distracted answer. "You said Division 1? Isn't that the one with those two really intimidating inspectors?"

Yui blinks in surprise. "You know them?" she blurts, before belatedly recalling both Takeda-keibu's existence (since she doesn't think that anyone would ever call Saegusa-san intimidating) and the fact that Morofushi-keibu's still over at Arano.

"Know of them, more accurately – I heard that they're really bitter rivals?" Tachibana says, eliminating Yui's sudden doubt. "Apparently they both came as guest lecturers once, a couple years back, and bickered so hard that someone laughed, then ended up making that person cry by the end of it."

…apparently, the academy grapevine has both exaggerated events (somewhat) and forgotten to include her sitting in the last row of the auditorium and glaring daggers at said inspectors. Which is just as well, she figures.

"Ah, well, I'm sure they're not that bad once you get to know them," Yui answers vaguely, because she can't very well state it as fact, and besides Kan-chan really only ever makes people cry by accident. Mostly. Though admittedly Morofushi-keibu can be another matter entirely.

Tachibana gives an unconvinced hmm before continuing. "Maybe. Anyway, I also heard that there's an even scarier person there who isn't even an inspector yet!"

…Yui's genuinely confused this time. "Really? Who's that?"

"I don't know for sure, there's a whole bunch of stories out there," Tachibana says, her eyes glinting – Yui's starting to feel like she's unwittingly run into the nerve centre of the academy's rumour mill. "But all of them agree that this detective is the only one who can keep those inspectors in check, y'know?"

Yui narrowly avoids choking on her tea, though thankfully Tachibana's too involved in her tale to notice.

"So she's gotta be real terrifying, don't you think?" she continues, then frowns. "I did hear her name once – what was it again? Ueda? Uemura?"

"Eh?" Yui croaks, although it's really more like EEHHHHHHHH!?!?? inside her head.

"Oh, that's right!" Tachibana exclaims at the same time. "I remember now, it's Uehar– um, are you alright, Yui-san?"

"…just a little surprised, that's all, don't worry about it." Yui clears her throat, and tries her level best not to look like herself. "Are there really those kinds of rumours out there?"

Tachibana nods, though Yui has the sinking feeling that the expression on her face suggests that's the least of it more than anything else, before it shifts again into something less certain. "It's kinda odd, though – there's been none of those stories lately? Some people are speculating that maybe one of them got tired of the competition and transferred to Tokyo MPD, even, but…"

That sobers Yui's mood as quickly as anything ever could. She wonders, for a moment, what her expression must look like right now. "What do you think, then?" she finally asks.

"I don't know," Tachibana admits, biting her lip. "Maybe something happened? I mean, my sister and I used to argue like that all the time, too, but I'd never have moved away just to be rid of her or anything."

"You're probably right," Yui hedges, then finally takes pity on the slight crease between Tachibana's eyebrows. "How about this – I have to leave soon, but why don't we exchange numbers? That way you can tell me if you hear anything."

"Sure! Ah, just look at me, I've wasted your time talking about all this nonsense… and when I was supposed to be revising for that forensics quiz later, too," Tachibana says sheepishly, pulling out her handphone before pausing. "But wouldn't you be the one who'd hear something first? I mean, if you do make it to Division 1."

"Ahaha," Yui not-quite-laughs as they swap phones, and she keys in her contact under Torada Yui – which it legally still is, until the registry paperwork goes through, but she whispers a silent apology to Yushiro-san anyway. "Well, the HQ is quite a big place, you know? Plus I want to hear all about the rescue squad if you do get selected – good luck with that, by the way!"

"You too!" says Tachibana-san as she stands and returns Yui's phone with a little bow. "Remember to update me as well!"

"Of course," Yui promises as Tachibana leaves, and finishes off the last of her drink before standing up too.

Quiz revision, huh… she probably ought to get on that, too, but first – Yui flips her phone open and sends a quick text to Morofushi-keibu letting him know that she's done with the physicals before hitting the speed dial.

"Kan-chan," she begins far too cheerfully when it connects, "you won't believe what I just heard – and no, you can't stop me calling you that until I've been reinstated, so don't even try – "

.

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................i don’t understand i just wanted to make a couple terrible jokes at yui’s expense how did that devolve into almost 1.5k words??????????? what even

a n y w a y uh for what was supposed to be a mostly crackfic a disproportionate amount of research happened because i fell down the rabbithole of nagano pd’s recruitment site so i’m only making about half of this up, but the key takeaway of it all is that kendo yui!! factually has a 50% chance!! of being canon!! thank you for coming to my ted talk