#a while ago when i was deep diving into autism research because i'm 98% sure i'm autistic
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#a little bit of a happy rant... (can rants be happy? if not i don't know the word then lol)#a while ago when i was deep diving into autism research because i'm 98% sure i'm autistic#i told my mom this and i also told her i wanted to go see a psychiatrist to get diagnosed#bad idea cause my mom is the type of person who thinks ''everyone is a little autistic'' which is stupid but anyways she didn't believe me#she thinks putting labels on things is bad and we shouldn't do it#but this is not a fun label... this is an actual diagnosis!!#i digress. the point is that i stoped talking about it because i don't have the energy or desire to try to convince my mother#that i know what goes on inside my brain.#but my brother! My brother is a sweetheart#he seems like he doesn't give a shit about anything but every now and then he will drop the cutest most affirming comments#(he did that when i came out as trans too)#i'm sure my brother has adhd if not autism or possibly both so maybe he has looked it up before or at least understands it better#but like for christmas he wanted to get me a weighted blanket because i'm always talking about how i need preassure and weight on me#and also that i like rocking myself to sleep (i need one of those automatic rocking chairs for babies but like adult size)#anyways he aknowledges (let's pretend i can spell that word) what i said and my suspicions of autism#today the noise of a tiny bit of air escaping from a badly close bottle lid was annoying me#i wasn't in the room i may add#when i complained my mom was like ''damn! that hearing!'' or somthing like that#and my brother. very casually said ''it's the autism'' which made me so fucking happy that is the first time someone fucking believes me!#but then my mom went ''naaah there's no autism here'' (or somthing amongst those lines) which took my excitement aways#but anyways i love my brother and his casual support <3#angel talks#personal
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