#a top contender right now is 'the guns of august' because i found a used copy a couple months ago

[fictionadventurer]

Potential November Reads

In This House of Brede by Rumer Godden

The Everlasting Man by G.K. Chesterton

Something by Charles Dickens

A nonfiction book

A piece of classic Russian literature

[newagesispage]

                                                                AUGUST    2021

THE RIB  PAGE

Fran Drescher is running for National SAG-AFTRA President with Anthony Rapp as secretary treasurer for Unite for Strength!!! Matthew Modine is running under Membership first with Joely Fisher for Secretary Treasurer. Running in local elections are, among others, Yvette Nicole Brown, Shari Belafonte, Rosie O’Donnell, Jeff Garlin, Ezra Knight, Dule Hill, Camryn Manheim, Sara Rue, Mindy Cohn and Ever Carradine. Sept. 2 is the day!** Frances Fisher filed a suit against SAG-AFTRA over the health care plan but a judge rejected it.

*****

Sha’Carri Richardson’s problem is all our problem. No more drug testing for Mary Jane in this country!

*****

Chuck Schumer finally unveiled the Cannabis administration opportunity act to end Federal prohibition of marijuana.

*****

Dolly Parton used the $10 mil + in royalties from the Whitney Houston version of her song to invest in a black neighborhood in Nashville.

*****

Bob Balaban and Henry Winkler play brothers in The French Dispatch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can’t wait for October 22!!!!!!!!!!!!** The next Wes Anderson film will star Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton, Adrien Brody and Tom Hanks. No other details are out there yet.

*****

Trees save lives in heat waves.

*****

TBS will bring us n updated Stupid Pet Tricks with Sarah Silverman.

*****

So much organized religion is based on forgeries, fakes and plundering. Virtually none of it is based on any sort of truth, spiritual or even historical. Just lies to fulfill an agenda and control the masses. And so far it has worked. –Larry Charles

*****

Scarlett Johansen has sued Disney cuz her contract guaranteed a theatrical release only.

*****

An expert on the circus industry recently reached out to me and urged me to not compare Trump and his comeback tour to clowns and the circus, as that is an insult to clowns. –Jim Acosta

*****

Eric Adams has won the Dem primary for Mayor in NY.

*****

Have you seen High on the Hog?? It’s awesome!!

*****

Jeff Flake will be ambassador to Turkey.

*****

Cornell West resigned from Harvard with a scathing letter accusing the school of “intellectual and spirited bankruptcy of deep depths.”

*****

Biden gave a hell of a speech in Philly. He needed to go on more about the filibuster but he was passionate about the For the People act and the John Lewis voting rights advancement act.  He roared, “Peddlers of lies are threatening the very foundation of our country.”

*****

Will Celebrity Dating Game continue? I am sure they think romance expert, Michael Bolton is a cute and quirky thing to do but not so much. If it stays, I hope they change the music, at least those final notes. And why are half of the questions, “Who am I?” The show could be cute but they need a little work!!

*****

Jeff Bezos donated $200 mil to the Smithsonian air and space museum.**Feminists everywhere winced when Gayle King was interviewing the Bezos space team.  Bezos commented about the 18 year old going with them into space and that he was just worried about the prom at 18. Gayle said “And I was just hoping for a date to the prom.”** But we have to love Wally Funk, the oldest woman to go into space.**Bezos thanked the Amazon employees and customers for paying for his trip. Yikes!**  Saw a great sign: Pay fair taxes, end hunger, help people, end poverty, save Earth or fly to space.

*****

Antonio Banderas and Harrison Ford will star in Indiana Jones 5.

*****

Zsa Zsa Gabor’s ashes were laid to rest 5 years after her death.

*****

The Britney conservatorship mess is still going thru the courts, and now topless?

*****

Pope Francis underwent colon surgery which caused him to comment on the need for good health care for all.

*****

Questlove brings us Summer of Soul!!!

*****

Reports show that about 150 people were killed by guns in more than 400 shootings during the 4th.

*****

Has anybody ever built a show around the Tex Watson tapes?? The LAPD apparently liked to deny them but there was a book.

*****

Henry Hall is out with his debut album, Neato, along with a tour.

*****

Do all male law enforcement officers have to be bald now?

*****

Idaho has begun an eradication campaign that could slash the number of gray wolves living in the state by 90%.

*****

Hooray for the monthly child tax credit!!

*****

Release Me 2 from Barbra Streisand is due out August 6.

*****

The look into the Jan. 6 insurrection has begun. Kinzinger and Cheney are in. **Tucker Carlson attacked Harry Dunn, a Capitol officer on air. The man protected Carlson’s son, a House staffer.** On Jan. 5, the Steve Bannon podcast went like this: All Hell is going to break loose tomorrow. Just understand this. It’s gonna be moving. It’s gonna be quick.** Why is mainstream media putting nearly all eggs in the Covid and Olympic baskets and only a few on the insurrection hearing?

*****

Why do so many that call America , “great” seem to hate it?? How can one love this country and not want majority rule, not want democracy??

*****

The Emmy noms are out: Lovecraft Country was nominated even though it has been cancelled.  Also hooray for Pose, The Flight attendant and for Conan!! Lead actor is a tough category with Matthew Rhys, Billy Porter and Rege-Jean Page. Aidy Bryant and Jean Smart got lead and supporting noms. I have to route for Ewan McGregor and Anya Taylor-Joy. I am excited for Paul Reiser, Bowen Yang, Evan Peters, Carl Weathers, Renee Elise Golsberry, Dave Chappelle, Helena Bonham Carter and Daniel Levy. There is love for Yvette Nicole Brown, Issa Rae and Maya Rudolph. The Masked Singer got a few noms. The doc category included Tina, Allen V. Farrow and The Bee Gees. Friends: The reunion got 4.

*****

“Voting is not supposed to be easy. That’s what our men died for.”- Jack Finger

*****

Giant Pandas are no longer endangered.

*****

Zalia Avante- Garde is the 93rd Scripps National Spelling Bee Champ.** I’m more impressed by the girl who won the Spelling Bee than the billionaire who went to space. –Mike Jollett.

*****

Why do they have to run erectile dysfunction ads during true crime rape episodes? ** And why do people still say things like, “this just don’t happen here” or “dumped like a piece of trash? “ There have to be other things to say.

*****

Tom Barrack, chairman of the inaugural committee for Trump was arrested for foreign lobbying shenanigans. America first, right?** Wilbur Ross lied to congress about the census and the Trump administration declined to prosecute.** Stephen Calk, bank exec was found guilty of trying to get a WH position by giving Manafort millions in loans.

*****

Jake Ellzey won the Texas special election run off for congress, beating out Trump’s girl Susan Wright.

*****

Every city should have a Peacemobile!!!!!

*****

The Chinese government has been called out for malicious cyber -attacks.  Four officials have been indicted in California.

*****

Miracle Workers’ Simon Rich was there when FB was invented and was so creeped out by people using it to stalk women.

*****

There was a story in Rolling Stone about how Eric Clapton threatened to cancel shows if the venue required proof of vaccines. Valerie Bertinelli tweeted: Once a dick, always a dick.

*****

Every Fox news host is vaccinated. –Mikel Jollett

*****

Toyota has dropped out of Olympic ads.  Contenders are starting to drop out due to positive Covid tests.

*****

Actor Isaiah Stokes has been indicted for murder.

*****

Lionsgate has bought the rights to Clerks 3.

*****

Ready or not, here come the Olympics.- Harry Shearer

*****

The Cleveland Indians will now be the Cleveland Guardians.

*****

A bust of KKK leader Nathan Bedford Forrest was taken out of the Tennessee capitol.

*****

American Housewife was sold into syndication.

*****

The poorest zip codes include Erie, Pennsylvania, Decatur and the south end of Peoria, il, Canton, Oh, Waterbury, Ct., Bonsecour, Al. and Elpaso, Tx.

*****

Issa Rae married Louis Diame.

*****

The court of appeals disqualified Judge John W. Ouderkirk from the Jolie- Pitt divorce because of a business relationship with Pitt’s attorney.

*****

Joe Manchin owns a coal company.

*****

The Hollywood walk of fame has welcomed Jimmy Smits, Kathie Lee Gifford and 90 year old Marla Gibbs. Terry Crews is next!

*****

Generation after generation of women love the bad boy.  Do they never learn? I will never understand, please explain.

*****

Pelosi rejected 2 of the noms to serve on the special committee looking into Jan. 6. Kevin McCarthy withdrew his 5 noms.

*****

The gun that killed Billy the Kid is for sale.

*****

I think you should leave with Tim Robinson on Netflix is hilarious if U get thru the gross. U can’t miss the episode with Clifton Davis and Fred Willard!!

*****

Joaquin Phoenix is trying to get some bears from a traveling show moved to an accredited sanctuary. The Bearadise Ranch in Florida has been cited for, “violating state wildlife laws.”

*****

Go employees Go!! Frito Lay is on strike, Coal miners are on strike and Ride Share drivers are on strike. A good portion of this country should be on strike. The top of the corporate ladder needs to learn! Let those that treat us fair rise to the top.

*****

Who owns Brett Kavanaugh?

*****

A Bishop seeking to deny Biden communion was caught on Grindr.

*****

Gabriel Jagger married Anouk Winzenried.** I don’t know why the Rolling Stones bass player doesn’t just change his name to “not pictured.” –Michael Mckean

*****

Frank Fritz will not be back on American Pickers.

*****

For the first time, astronomers have seen behind a black hole. Einstein predicted the gravitational pull of black holes is so enormous that they warp the very fabric of space. He was right. Scientists have now spotted light which was being emitted by the far side of the black hole.

*****

Look for Heels on Starz.

*****

What is this new screen for Amazon? It sucks.

*****

Biden has signed an executive order to protect infrastructure from cyber- attacks.

*****

Arthur was canceled.

*****

The Kennedy Center has revealed the latest honorees. The 44th class is Justin Diaz, Berry Gordy, Lorne Michaels, Bette Midler and Joni Mitchell and will be held on Dec. 5.

*****

Get well Bob Odenkirk!!!! The fabulous Odenkirk collapsed on the set of Better call Saul from a minor heart attack.

*****

Days alert: We have lost Days of Our Lives first director, Joseph Behar.  He will be missed.** Marla Ginns is joining the cast as Paulina’s Mother. ** Is EJ throwing Sami out? Will AJ McLean join the cast? **Rex is back.**Peacock is bringing us a limited series, Days of our Lives: Beyond Salem that will send many couples on romantic vacations and lead to intrigue. Lisa Rinna will star.** Arianna Zucker (Nicole) is set to marry Shawn Christian (former Daniel).  He popped the question on Father’s Day.

*****

R.I.P. President Jovenel Moise, Philece Sampler, Robert Downey Sr., Richard Donner, flood victims of Belgium and Germany,  Robby Steinhardt, Covid victims, Joseph Behar, Robert Moses, Jackie Mason, Dusty Hill, joey Jordison, Priscilla McMillan, Ron Popeil, Carl Levin, Saginaw Grant and Charles Robinson.

[bountyofbeads]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/three-nra-board-members-resign-in-latest-sign-of-upheaval-at-gun-rights-group/2019/08/01/aad49bc0-b49d-11e9-8f6c-7828e68cb15f_story.html?utm_term=.bca7688da1ce#click=https://t.co/DDmEL2tkRa

BREAKING: Three @NRA board members just resigned saying that they lost their committee assignments after raising questions about certain spending by CEO Wayne LaPierre.

By Beth Reinhard | Published August 1 at 9:10 PM | Washington Post | Posted August 2, 2019 |

Three National Rifle Association board members who have raised concerns about reports of reckless spending and mismanagement by the group’s leadership resigned Thursday, another sign of mounting dissent within the nation’s most powerful gun-rights group.

The three board members — Esther Schneider of Texas, Sean Maloney of Ohio and Timothy Knight of Tennessee — said they were stripped of their committee assignments after they asked questions about allegations of lavish spending by NRA chief executive Wayne LaPierre and other financial excesses.

“While our belief in the NRA’s mission remains as strong today as ever, our confidence in the NRA’s leadership has been shattered,” they wrote in a letter to NRA officials Thursday obtained by The Washington Post.

NRA President Carolyn D. Meadows said in a written statement that the organization accepts the resignations.

“We look forward to working with our new board members in furthering our noble mission of protecting our Second Amendment rights on behalf of our millions of members,” she said.

The three members represent a small share of the NRA’s 76-member board. But their resignations are the latest in a series of dramatic upheavals at the organization. In recent months, NRA President Oliver North was ousted after raising concerns about the group’s finances and top lobbyist Christopher W. Cox resigned after he was accused of participating in an alleged extortion scheme to push out LaPierre.

Before North was forced out, he said the NRA’s outside attorney reaped “extraordinary” legal fees that totaled millions of dollars in the past year. NRA officials have said that figure was inaccurate and have repeatedly defended the group’s spending as responsible.

The NRA is also contending with multiple investigations, as both the District’s attorney general and the New York Attorney General have demanded financial records from the nonprofit and its charitable foundation.

Former U.S. Rep. Allen B. West, who was the first board member to call for LaPierre's resignation, said in an interview he was remaining on the board. However, he said he would not be attending the next board meeting in September, which is set to be held in Anchorage. “I think that’s a waste of money,” West said.

West said that “the membership of the National Rifle Association deserves better when it comes to fiscal responsibility because they donate their hard-earned dollars, $25 or $50 at a time, for the protection of the Second Amendment, not the protection of the cabal of cronyism.”

In their letter, Schneider, Maloney and Knight said they have sought information from NRA leaders as part of their oversight responsibilities as board members, “only to be rebuffed at every turn.”

“We had expected – or at least hoped— that the executive leadership team would recognize the seriousness of these allegations and work with us in a constructive and transparent manner to address our concerns and minimize any further harm to the Association,” they wrote. “Instead, we have been stonewalled, accused of disloyalty, stripped of committee assignments and denied effective counsel necessary to properly discharge our responsibilities as Board members.”

Other board members have risen to the defense of LaPierre and the current leadership.

Board member Marion Hammer, who lobbies on behalf of the NRA in Florida, on Thursday wrote in a text message to The Post her reaction to the departing board members: “Don’t let the door hit you in the back on your way out.”

She said the trio “made a treacherous attempt to overthrow leadership and lost, now they’re unhappy nobody trusts them and doesn’t want them on committees where they can continue to disrupt the organization.”

Another board member, Anchorage attorney Wayne Anthony Ross, said the disgruntled board members are undercutting an organization already under attack from Democrats and gun control groups. Ross successfully lobbied three years ago for the September meeting to be held in his hometown and defended the NRA’s practice of covering airfare, lodging and food for board members.

“Believe it or not, it’s the same distance from Washington to Alaska as it is from Alaska to Washington,” he said. “This is the National Rifle Association of America, and we have board members all over the country.”

Still, calls for LaPierre’s resignation have been building from NRA stalwarts popular on YouTube and talk radio, as well as rank-and-file members who have been fuming on social media. Some longtime members formed a nonprofit called Save the Second that is seeking to overhaul the NRA by shrinking the 76-member board, imposing term limits and setting minimum attendance requirements.

Resistance is also building among donors. Randy Luth, a Minnesota-based firearms executive, said he has nixed plans to donate part of his estate — a seven-figure value — to the NRA. He has also cancelled plans to match a previous donation of $50,000 and ceased advertising in NRA publications.

“I’m not one of the biggest donors but I am a donor, and until Wayne LaPierre and his cronies are removed or retired, I am suspending my donations,” he said. “All these stories of extravagant spending — it shouldn’t happen at any nonprofit, let alone the NRA.”

Meanwhile, the NRA is still enmeshed in a lawsuit with New York Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo (D), who issued a directive last year urging insurance and financial services companies to review their relationships with the organization. It came after a state investigation found the NRA’s “Carry Guard” insurance product violated New York law.

Scrutiny of the organization has also increased on Capitol Hill. Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.) has been investigating the organization’s finances and ties to Russia.

At the same time, the NRA is contending with the loss of Cox, who had led the organization’s political and lobbying arm since 2002 and was considered one of its most effective and high-profile leaders. The political arm spent more than $30 million to help elect President Trump.

[whatscoolaccordingtodom]

July 2018

As winter nyasto settles into the Southern Hemisphere, I can’t help but think that maybe we’re doing something wrong and whoever has been in charge of the weather these past few years is mad. Our ancestors wore nothing but a bit of hide over their groins 365 days a year, my great-great grandfather never slept inside anything his whole life. They say on particularly cold nights, his family would come down from the hills to sleep around his fire, where he would sit there playing his mbira into the wee hours.

Umphako floated down to us on the 6thof July and I’ve been Mascandi through the streets ever since. The 4 track EP sees most of the songs go in different directions, but still make sense on the overall project. “Abangani” features label mates Emtee and Saudi, it’s definitely in the running for Squad Song of the Year. The “Confession” sample sounds like it was taken from an old hip-hop song, maybe a 50 Cent track and; the vocals though beautiful as they may be are overshadowed by the lyrics. I’m sure a few Zulu boys are convinced though. “Intombi” -also about a girl- talksis about all the lies she hears from interested suiters. The remaining is the hustle track, even the production is more upbeat than we’re used to from him. 2018 has been good to Sjava too, he came out from under the shadow of his labelmate and established himself as a serious contender with the Black Panther nod, BET award, and oh so Afrikan press run; this EP serves to show he’s still the guy who gave us favourites like “Before”. At least for now...

Strings and Blings is one half songs that can be bangers and the other is half is talking RnB. Nasty C’s on and off long-time girlfriend is kind of like the centerpiececentre piece, often finding herself being spoken to, of, from, about, and with; but he uses inconsistent angles. (Also, S/O to the girl who always sings on his songs but never gets credited). “No Respect” is my favourite offering on the project by far, it sounds like it was getting good, like he was about to rip at niggers, he’s about to start going in at the 1-minute mark then the just stops.; Tthe track ends 25 seconds later preventing what probably would’ve been a PR nightmare for him. “Jiggy Jigga”, “Givenchy”, “Strings and Bling” and “Gravy” are all easy plays in the club. We would like to thank Nasty for saying a Zulu word on “Blisters”. The whole album plays very well except for “My Baby”, that song is terribly cheesy; it sounds like every song by a boy band with a potty mouth lead singer. “SMA” is a standout from the other side, the dialogue verse’s add a layer to the rapper and Rowlene is just perfect. “Mrs Me” and “Everything” are the other emotionally heavy songs. “Casanova” cements just how much Nasty loves Metro Boomin and is perhaps the one track that doesn’t really fit into the 2 sides of album, it sounds emotional, but the lyrics really just aren’t.

A welcome addition to my favourite rappers in South Africa is Zakwe, he’s been around for a while but Cebisa is the first project by him I’ve listened to and honestly, it carries itself even without Sebentin. In true South African fashion, the remix is a who’s who of our rap elite but it’s all overshadowed by the obvious trade of bars by HHP and Cassper., Cass just seems to rub some people the wrong way, poor guy. At 20 songs, averaging well over 3 minutes each. The album is a long play but it’s well worth the listen, with a plethora of features to keep you entertained it plays like a Zakwe and friends playlist. The man himself has honed his sound, this nonchalant cross between hip-hop and kwaito is best described by the albums stand out line “Pac was Jesus, Zola wrote the Bible”. He isn’t stuck in old hip hop either, trap beats found themselves nestled in the playlist too.    

Future gave us Beast Mode 2 and I am satiated, but Atlanta spoils us (I have a theory about how it had a direct influence on how music is frequently now released), they understand that the streets need new music often. Jeffery needs to give us something more now since Hear No Evil was a while ago and it was 3 songs long. Future seems to be the only one of late who can get Young Thug into the studio too., Tthey did release Georgia, but a Thug feature was not on the cards for BM2 which really only has 2 features, both young artists who were given a wide berth to shine. People who say Future isn’t a lyricist need to take time out to listen to the first Beast Mode. On these albums over Zaytovens most almost gospel like production, he addresses a wide range of issues from his self-medicating drug problem, he checks himself trying to hold onto some sense of reality I think, but he makes it so that you have to listen to know what he’s saying. Being a workaholic -the man releases projects at an alarming rate- and the excess that seems to come with the life of having your “Racks Blue”, he talks about his anxieties both external and psychological. BM2 is the classic mix of Futures braggadocio and insecurities. It plays like one long thing the first time, but if you take the time to listen to what he’s saying you might realise why his spot amongst those at the top of rap is a non-debatable topic.

Unjayam uSliqe… this calling card annoyed me when I first heard it, but it’s kinda grown on me since then. I know I’m about to hear a hit when it plays. His sophomore album is a shining example of how hip-hop albums by DJ’s have evolved into their own league. Jam packed with features, feel good songs, and amazing production from the man himself, I don’t know if he just makes the beats and let’s people do their own thing or if he composes and directs each song, maybe he does a bit of both. The formula works, Navy Black is like a calm afternoon with your friends, most of the songs share a skeleton, so the vibe is carried well. “Biskop” is a fitting way to begin the album, it’s an ode to how the journey Sliqe, Kwesta and Makwa has transformed the artists’ lives since they started hustling, when is a Kwesta verse not welcome? Chiano Sky is the new naughty white girl, “Aunty” was nice, but “Girls Jungle” is a lot; the sample is so perfect and her lyrics are irreverent. Sy Ari saw Black Panther 5 times, I was going to discuss this but then I found out he’s American; him and AKA really came through for “Oh Well” though, Supa Mega talks like the big brother all young rappers have always wanted. I’m kind of torn between “Fully” (because we get to say FULLY a bunch of times), and “Town Talk”, it’s cool to see Wrecking Crew members make hits without their big gun. “Backyard” is the vibe of the album, and who better to call for a feature than Mr Hennessy, Tshego can sound like him featuring him with the different pitches he can sing at; it’s smooth and never overly emotional?

Gigi Lamayne, in her short time has built an enviable career finding her place in the league of our small handful of rappers. “VI” is a 6 track EP, her first since signing with Ambitious and it was built kind of like this version Maslow'sMaslows pyramid.; Tthe top is tiny and signifies the worst song as we descend into the album the sections get thicker until the bottom where we find “VI” waiting for us. The tape gets much better immediately with “Iphupho”, this song see’s the artist sing her truths about living in this concrete jungle while demanding to cash in on her dreams. “Roll” is dirtier, real trap shit reminiscent of “Beez in The Trap”. “Stimela” is fun, Gigi even gets in some good raps and punchlinespunch lines, a highlight being “I’m Gautrain, you Shosholoza”. “VI” is really easy listening, with a light sprinkling of zulu lines, the beats are catchy but maybe none more so than “Twinkle”; “Londie London” croons the memorable chorus and Gigi offers her most solid verses on the project. Until you hear the title track, she does the correct thing on the outro; no chorus, shit she barely lets it breathe until the last minute.

Ice Prince is an established name in Afrikan hip-hop and his confidence oozes out of his songs too. A few of them seem to be more about weed than anything else in particular and I’m okay with that. The albums opening track is a bass heavy banger, with the help of Jethro Faded, Ice-Prince “Shuts it Down”, which might be a weird way to start an album. Remy Baggins comes through for “Space Funk”, a Bruno Mars-y chorus with solid verses by Ice. “Hit Me Up” is the albums single, a typical South African trap track, PatricKxxLee & Straffitti help bring the head nods out. “‘Interlude”’ is his way of letting us know that this is the emotional track of the album and “Die For Your Love” does not disappoint, mans really promises to die for her love; but doesn’t miss the opportunity to mention weed again. I think I noticed all the weed references because of how frequently and prominently most of them are placed. “254” has one right in the chorus, but the verses are some of the most enjoyable on the whole album; they play like one long story. The uncredited singing bit at the end of “254″ is really nice, if that is Ice then kudos to him. “So High”, seriously, has Ice Prince always been this proud about his stoner ways? Anyways, “So High” is an anthem dedicated to just how high Ice Prince and Kay Switch get. By the sounds of it they use regular rizla and not Raw like Nasty C and Snoop Dogg, I might suggest switching to unbleached rizla if he really does smoke from Niger to Ghana. I mean, it’s an obvious metaphor for other kinds of highs too, success, girls, etc, but with the sound effects and lines like “puff puff pass, real nigger smoking that gas” the weed references might be all we get. “Watching You” is a simpler, way more vibey track where Ice Prince gets back onto his singing shit, helping keep the song as smooth as possible. The album closer is arguably the best, the production is really enjoyable, and he made sure to use easy to remember lyrics.

In The Faculty NEWS; on August 2, Human Error turned 19 and Tinayeishe Elisha Makoni better known by his stage name S.K.eye released his debut solo tape titled “Pseudology”. Please listen to it on Soundcloud @ https://soundcloud.com/tinayemakoni/sets/pseudology

Couldn’t leave without acknowledging Stay Dangerous and Astroworld, but that’s for later.

Beyonce and her husband are coming on the 2nd of December, but you have to earn a ticket. The only other ticket you work this hard to get in life is the one to Heaven, if you’re into that type of thing.

Edited by @NyraBlac

[kacydeneen]

2020 Candidates Say How They Would Combat Climate Change

First in an occasional series of articles on top issues in the 2020 presidential election.

Young climate change activists are trying to force global warming to the forefront of the 2020 presidential race, which has so far been dominated by other topics.

While candidates have released plans to curb climate change, until recently many have been more focused on universal health care, gun control, race, criminal justice and President Donald Trump. One Democratic contender who made climate change a centerpiece of his race, Washington Gov. Jay Inslee, dropped out at the end of August. 

But after a summer in which Europe roasted in record heat, tons of ice melted on Greenland and the Amazon burned, millions are expected to strike on Sept. 20 “to demand an end to the age of fossil fuels.” The walkout, inspired by 16-year-old Greta Thunberg's strikes outside the Swedish parliament building, is to be followed by a week of mobilizations and a second strike a week later on Sept. 27.

On Thursday and Friday, MSNBC is holding a climate forum featuring a dozen presidential hopefuls (watch a livestream in the video leading this story). The event comes after CNN held a separate town hall last month devoted to the issue. 

Democrats and even some Republicans favor candidates ready to act. According to a poll conducted for CNN by SSRS, a survey and market research firm in Pennsylvania, 82% of Democrats believe taking aggressive action to slow the effects of climate change is “very important” for Democratic candidates to highlight leading up to the election.

[[560692612,C]]

A spring survey of young Americans between 18 and 29 by Harvard University’s Institute of Politics found that 46 percent agreed with the statement that “government should do more to curb climate change, even at the expense of economic growth.” Only 16 percent disagreed.

And among Republicans, typically more skeptical about climate change, 69% of GOP voters are worried that the party’s climate position is hurting it with younger voters, in a poll done by GOP strategist Frank Luntz. The poll, about a carbon tax advocated by a group called the Climate Leadership Council, also found that 55 percent of Republicans want the government to limit carbon emissions.

But Republican leadership has resisted any climate change legislation and the Trump administration continues to roll back environmental regulations. Trump cut the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency, is on the record saying that global warming is a hoax invented by the Chinese to attack U.S. manufacturing and pulled the United States out of the Paris international climate agreement.

Climate change already is causing intense heat waves, shrinking glaciers, the loss of sea ice and rising water levels, according to scientists. In the future, temperatures will continue to rise, more rain is projected for the northern United States and less for the Southwest, there will more droughts and heat waves, hurricanes will become stronger and more intense and the global sea level will rise between one and four feet. 

The Fourth National Climate Assessment, a report by 300 federal and non-governmental agencies that was released last November on Black Friday, outlined the real-time effects of climate change across the U.S., broken down by region.

"Americans increasingly recognize the risks climate change poses to their everyday lives and livelihoods and are beginning to respond," the report said. 

[[500865721,C]]

NBC spoke to Bill McKibben, an environmentalist and author, Michael Oppenheimer, an associated faculty member of the Andlinger Center for Energy and the Environment at Princeton University, and Stephen O’Hanlon, once a climate change denier and now a leader of the Sunrise Movement, which aims to stop climate change and create millions of jobs in the process.

They were asked to offer insights and suggestions for policies. Here is what they had to say:

What Should the Next President Do? McKibben said, “Thirty years ago, we could've put a modest price on carbon and that would have steered the ship of our economy slowly but steadily in the right direction. Now, because we didn't do that, we're way further along the wrong direction and we have to restart very dramatically.”

McKibben said he thought something like the Green New Deal, a stimulus program aimed at addressing climate change, makes a lot of sense as “it is legislation on the same scale as the problem that we face. 

“We have not taken any real federal action on climate change. So there aren't any simple, modest, easy, painless things for our next president to be doing,” McKibben said. “They're going to have to take bold action, and that bold action is going to have to include a strong support for an incentive program to building out renewable energy.”

The Green New Deal, introduced by Democrats Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York and Sen. Edward Markey of Massachusetts, calls for large investments in renewable energy and guarantees high-paying green jobs. The resolution is nonbinding and would not become law even if passed by Congress.

McKibben's advice is to “put up solar panels at the fastest pace that is possible to imagine, stop all fossil fuel mining and drilling on public lands, and stop the expansion of all fossil fuel infrastructure.”

O’Hanlon believes there needs to be comprehensive action to combat climate change within the first 100 days of the next president’s administration.

“And that means moving to 100% clean and renewable energy,” he said.

The Sunrise Movement, whose army of students is bipartisan, camped outside of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s office to push the Green New Deal and helped to spread the word about it by organizing more than 250 town halls across the country. They say they will go after Democrats if they are not strong enough in their actions towards climate change.

“We can build a broad coalition that crosses party lines,” O’Hanlon said.

Oppenheimer told NBC that whoever is elected president “needs to take a thorough look at the science of climate change, which continues to move forward very rapidly, and develop a comprehensive policy to address the problem in light of recent reports by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, which underscores an urgency about dealing with the problem.”

The report from the United Nations warns that if the temperature rises by more than 1.5 degrees Celsius, the effects will be dire. The enormous changes needed to avoid such a catastrophe has “no documented historic precedent,” the report says.

[[508912082,C]]

Foreign Policy Oppenheimer, who is also a professor of geosciences and international relations at Princeton University, said that “longstanding theory and international relations, which seems to be working out, unfortunately in the climate change arena, states that countries will belly up to the bar and do much more than they would do if they were acting alone if they know other countries are going to act as well. No one country can solve this problem.”

“We’ve got to get back in the ball game and resume international leadership or else the problem is just never going to get solved,” he said.

McKibben told NBC: “I think that the Paris accords are very important, but I don't think anyone will take us seriously now on them unless we're doing really crucial things in our own country.”

[[507219742,C]]

Activism Students are becoming more aware of how detrimental the effects of climate change can be on their future. Stephen O’Hanlon used to be a climate change denier. Now, he is a leader of the Sunrise Movement.

“We started this movement because saw that the climate crisis was getting worse and our political leaders weren't taking kind of action that we needed,” he said.

To be taken seriously by his generation, candidates must pledge not to take money from fossil fuel executives, their lobbyists or front groups and instead prioritize the health of families, climate and democracy over fossil fuel industry profits.

McKibben said he thought a majority of Americans understood the dangers the world is facing. He pointed to organizations like his. 350.org and The Sunrise Movement and young activists like Haven Coleman, 13, a co-founder of US Youth Climate Strike. She and others around the world have been inspired Sweden's Thunberg, who began her strikes last year.

He said he did not worry about those who do not, whether for ideological or other reasons.

“The real job is to get those who are worried about climate change, active and engaged in this fight,” he said. “And if we do that, we'll have plenty of people to carry the day.”

[[560704391,C]]

Photo Credit: Astrid Riecken/Getty Images (File) This story uses functionality that may not work in our app. Click here to open the story in your web browser. 2020 Candidates Say How They Would Combat Climate Change published first on Miami News

[apsbicepstraining]

Parties Are Doing It At Your Gym: 6 Personal Trainer Secrets

It’s been months since you signed up for that gym membership, and hitherto here “you think youre”, staring at a screen instead of working out. Maybe you’re doing the right choice. Sure, sitting on your ass will almost certainly kill you sooner, but at least you’ll be saved the ache, lies, and body fluids you know a gym excursion will be generated. And at the least you won’t have to look at the smiling appearance of a personal manager like Ryan George, who wants to tell you that …

6

There’s Plenty Of Sex At The Gym

stokpic/ Pixabay

I’m proud of the number of buyers I’ve bedded … because that figure is zero. I did a dwelling period formerly with the status of women who indicated activity in the nude( I admonished her not to — the pinching alone !). I had a male buyer invite me to a threesome with his wife( again, I said no; that is not what we mean by a “partner membership” ). At a hotel gym, I worked with a purchaser who wanted me to rub his glutes and asked if I’d ever been with a husband( I told him that I wasn’t training at as massage ).

Body-n-Care/ Pixabay “No, I’m not trained in groin massages either.”

Less ethical coaches take advantage, though. There was one I worked with who went after every attractive woman that came in. One era, a girl came storming onto the fitness floor and requested every staff member where he was, but he was nowhere find work. A few minutes later, there was a raucous agitation: The girl didn’t know about the trainer’s reputation and found out that he had been hooking up with someone else. The gym pointed up canceling both women’s bodies for contending. They prevented the coach, though, as he had among the best sales amounts at the gym.

One high-end gym that I was working at is seeking to incentivize us to stay on-site all day by building a “sleeping” room for the personal teaches, ended with bunk beds. Yes, some genius thought it was a smart thought for groupings of predominantly young, attractive, and single trainers to have their own bedroom in the gym, and much to everyone’s startle and feeling, the chamber became a love-den. I did try the chamber out for its intended objectives on one occasion, only to have my siestum ended by two tutors running one another out. Eventually, we lost access to the chamber because the housekeeping staff rejects to clean it.

kadmy/ iStock “Seriously, how difficult is it to make the condoms IN the trash barrel? ”

One tip: Never go barefoot in a steam bath. At the place I work now, the steam bath is pretty regularly stained with semen. It’s most likely research results of jacking off pre-workout, which presumably drops your blood pressure and loosen you. Hey, they say you have to erased exclusively your sweat down after you’re finished.

5

A Personal Trainer’s Looks Matter Way More Than Their Suitabilities

Satyrenko/ iStock

Like most of the service industry, gyms hire with an eye toward beautiful. As a manager told me, I have to be what the customer wants me to be. To female tutors, he mentioned, “If it’s a guy, you have to give him a really tough exercising. When he’s finished, take him to the rub counter. Rub his legs, extend him out, and when you are doing the hamstring extend, lean over, expose a bit of cleavage and announce, ‘I’d like you to be my purchaser. What kind of pack can I put you down for? ‘”

g-stockstudio/ iStock “I’m very committed to your hap-penis.”

It’s pretty clear what kind of business he thought he was passing, and it didn’t involve a lot of careful vetting of qualifications. As a upshot, many of us didn’t have any. I get licensed through the NASM, but plenty of managers I work with haven’t. Some take multiple-choice online tests and use that, plus their visible muscles, to get hired. Don’t assume your coach is some former athlete or even passionate about fitness — numerous join up merely because they think it’ll be an easy-going job.

But all that isn’t necessarily the occasion. When I first met one high-end gym, one of my fellow newbies was a stunning fitness modeling. She aimed up going lots of scrutiny from the male clientele but couldn’t move that into paying clients and retire the field wholly. Meanwhile Adrian — a middle-aged, slightly overweight female tutor with a dense Colombian accent — sketched $250 k a year. She was at the top of her environment because she knew her shit, plain and simple.

Alex_Koch/ Pixabay “The quicker you touch your fitness aims, the quicker I thump my financial ones. So pick that up. Now”

4

The Gym’s Business Model Is Completely Dependent On Your Lack Of Motivation

tpsdave/ Pixabay

I can confirm some of the stuff Cracked joked about in this video: We genuinely do count on a certain percentage of members signing up but not expending the facility. If most gyms were used by anything close to the full listing of members, they’d be space beyond capability. One time, a major blizzard back in the early 2000 s basically shut down the city, but we stayed open. Tallies of lapsed members, with nothing else to do and against all anticipations, represented their practice through our entrances. It was the busiest period that gym ever had, there wasn’t nearly enough material for everyone, and it was a goddamn madhouse. Luckily, it’s fairly difficult to get trampled in a treadmill stampede.

Capitol Records Treadmill-related injuries have descent drastically ever since OK Go canceled their membership .

Beyond tricking the masses into memberships they’ll never exploit, we’re supposed to sign buyers up for personal conferences because that’s where the real money is. An hour of personal course might expenditure upward of $100, more than a whole month of gym membership. So once we’ve got parties in the fitness chamber, we tell them the gym itself will do nothing for them, and they need one-on-one time if they want to improve. Not because of our lore, necessarily: The genuine selling place of a personal manager is having to look mortal in the appearance and predict you’ll come to the gym at a specific time and appointment. It’s harder to stay on the sofa when you’ve became that personal and financial commitment.

mastermilmar/ iStock “You just knowing that, only give me your pocketbook. You need to earn it back.”

Sometimes they do fight dirty with your firmnes, though. Right after 9/11, the fitness administrator gave us this long-winded discussion and included a line he wanted us to tell potential patrons: The rationale so many beings died during 9/11 was that they were not fit enough to flee the buildings. It’s a awful statement, from what I heard. I never got around to applying it, because inferno is mostly one big-hearted steam room — can you thoughts how much semen is on the flooring? No thanks.

3

Personal Trainers’ Advice Can Harm You

Highwaystarz-Photography/ iStock

Here are the subjects a qualified manager can speak on, ideally with a shooting dance beat backing them up: posture and push, muscular persuasivenes and tenacity, sporting concert, cardiovascular conditioning, and flexible. That’s the ideal register, recollect — we may not know anything about any of that trash. We may exactly search rockin’ in spandex. Whatever the speciman, we are most certainly not powers on nutrition, reclamation, or anything medical. Yet in every gym you’ll find teaches happy to advise you on all of those circumstances no matter how disastrous the consequences.

gpointstudio/ iStock “No , no , not the muscles, that’s a common story. You have to eat another man’s nature to gain his strength.”

I know one teach whose patron was contending( due to coach incapacity, primarily ), so he answered, “Tell your doctor you have asthma and have them give you a prescription for Advair. That will help you with your cardio.” There was another who thought they were qualified to give diet admonition to a diabetic. One buyer is intended to get in shape for her August wedding, so her trainer introduced her in a sauna suit to run on the treadmill the morning of the wed to fit into her dress. And then there was the tutor who decided to fix a client’s back pain using “core exercises” that patently just made the agony worse. We scarcely evaded a lawsuit on that one.

Even I’m not immune to the occasional climb up my own ass. I used to tell patrons doing bench presses to touch the barbell to their chests. Then I learned this was shredding up their shoulder joints, so I stopped, but others still insist on it. Leg expansions are what everyone uses to build their quadruplets, but I tell people not to because they’re ruining their knees in the process — you’ll still realize a shiny leg extension machine in every gym. One trainer will tell you the lat drag got to go behind the cervix, and I’ve is evident that do terrible things to people’s shoulders long-term, but I’ve sounded other trainers insist that doing it in front of chest, like I say to, is also bad.

Gennadiy Kravchenko/ iStock It’s only a matter of season before it gets is the responsibility of autism and grease-gun violence .

You’ll never know who’s right until you bolt yourself up doing it wrong.

2

Gym Employees Might Slip You Steroids

Dario Lo Presti/ iStock

At one gym I worked at, the first Monday of every month, a person in a dres would show up, change into workout gear, and take a pitch-black backpack into the gym with him. The human, who we dubbed “the doctor, ” would do a 30 -minute session. At some quality, he would casually residence the knapsack somewhere behind the pull-up depot, and the fitness director would later take it with him into the role. For the coming week, all the Terminator-looking guys strolled in to the fitness manager’s office when the sales director wasn’t around. I got the find they weren’t considering that quarter’s revenue.

Ozimician/ iStock “Oh my divinity, I finally pictured Hamilton , and telling you, absolutely worth the wait ! ”

One trainer I know mails his clients to a medical doctor at an anti-aging clinic, admonishing them to claim that they’re suffered by low-pitched testosterone. The doctor then leads a series of tests which magically confirm this, and the customer, whose simply real evidence is a lack of swoleness, skips away with a law prescription for testosterone. You can even get your insurance to pay for diminishing your testicles.

1

In The Result, The Gym Is Selling An Impossible Fantasy

Milan Stojanovic/ iStock

Cracked has told you over and over that the number of people who lose a large amount of weight and keep it off is statistically zero. Now, I have worked with people who’ve transformed their bodies in prodigious behaviors, so I’m not going to say it’s impossible to lose weight, but it is much harder than most people guess. A huge part of that is because the fitness routines we prescribe you are unsustainable, and we know this. Most people will get through the first few days of a educate routine just fine, and we’ll tell them it will get easier, but in reality, it gets harder . If it starts to get easier, you’ll stop witnes outcomes. And anytime you take on a new project, whether it’s starting a fitness routine or a habit dildo business, it steals from something else in your life.

Eva K ./ Wiki Commons “In the end, it was my free time with my boys that I was certainly leaving the shaft to.”

I try not to given impractical possibilities: During my first had met with a patron, I extract as much info as possible on the person’s life-style, mindset, objectives, and exercising biography, then try drafting a intention they can actually follow. But if gyms everywhere told buyers the truth — that there is no finish line; you are able to never reply, “OK , now I have a six-pack, so I’m finished with my person and now I can focus all of my time on video games”; that maintaining that six-pack is now your part-time activity for the rest of their own lives; and the older you get, the more working here will take — a billion-dollar manufacture would disappear overnight. Forget rising health-insurance premiums — that’s how paunch would maim the economy.

Ryan George hosts The GymWits podcast and has a new notebook out , Freeweight Training Anatomy . Follow Ryan Menezes on Twitter for trash slashed from this section and interesting thing no one should ensure . Have a tale to share with Cracked? Email us here . For more insider attitudes, check out 5 Insane Realities Behind The Scenes Of A Weight Loss Ad and I AM Compensating For Something: A Bodybuilder Speaks Out . Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out If Gyms Were Honest, and other videos you won’t meet on the site !

Also, follow us on Facebook, and let’s get a speedy spout sesh in, bro .

The post Parties Are Doing It At Your Gym: 6 Personal Trainer Secrets appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2skJ5Pe via IFTTT

[apsbicepstraining]

Parties Are Doing It At Your Gym: 6 Personal Trainer Secrets

It’s been months since you signed up for that gym membership, and hitherto here “you think youre”, staring at a screen instead of working out. Maybe you’re doing the right choice. Sure, sitting on your ass will almost certainly kill you sooner, but at least you’ll be saved the ache, lies, and body fluids you know a gym excursion will be generated. And at the least you won’t have to look at the smiling appearance of a personal manager like Ryan George, who wants to tell you that …

6

There’s Plenty Of Sex At The Gym

stokpic/ Pixabay

I’m proud of the number of buyers I’ve bedded … because that figure is zero. I did a dwelling period formerly with the status of women who indicated activity in the nude( I admonished her not to — the pinching alone !). I had a male buyer invite me to a threesome with his wife( again, I said no; that is not what we mean by a “partner membership” ). At a hotel gym, I worked with a purchaser who wanted me to rub his glutes and asked if I’d ever been with a husband( I told him that I wasn’t training at as massage ).

Body-n-Care/ Pixabay “No, I’m not trained in groin massages either.”

Less ethical coaches take advantage, though. There was one I worked with who went after every attractive woman that came in. One era, a girl came storming onto the fitness floor and requested every staff member where he was, but he was nowhere find work. A few minutes later, there was a raucous agitation: The girl didn’t know about the trainer’s reputation and found out that he had been hooking up with someone else. The gym pointed up canceling both women’s bodies for contending. They prevented the coach, though, as he had among the best sales amounts at the gym.

One high-end gym that I was working at is seeking to incentivize us to stay on-site all day by building a “sleeping” room for the personal teaches, ended with bunk beds. Yes, some genius thought it was a smart thought for groupings of predominantly young, attractive, and single trainers to have their own bedroom in the gym, and much to everyone’s startle and feeling, the chamber became a love-den. I did try the chamber out for its intended objectives on one occasion, only to have my siestum ended by two tutors running one another out. Eventually, we lost access to the chamber because the housekeeping staff rejects to clean it.

kadmy/ iStock “Seriously, how difficult is it to make the condoms IN the trash barrel? ”

One tip: Never go barefoot in a steam bath. At the place I work now, the steam bath is pretty regularly stained with semen. It’s most likely research results of jacking off pre-workout, which presumably drops your blood pressure and loosen you. Hey, they say you have to erased exclusively your sweat down after you’re finished.

5

A Personal Trainer’s Looks Matter Way More Than Their Suitabilities

Satyrenko/ iStock

Like most of the service industry, gyms hire with an eye toward beautiful. As a manager told me, I have to be what the customer wants me to be. To female tutors, he mentioned, “If it’s a guy, you have to give him a really tough exercising. When he’s finished, take him to the rub counter. Rub his legs, extend him out, and when you are doing the hamstring extend, lean over, expose a bit of cleavage and announce, ‘I’d like you to be my purchaser. What kind of pack can I put you down for? ‘”

g-stockstudio/ iStock “I’m very committed to your hap-penis.”

It’s pretty clear what kind of business he thought he was passing, and it didn’t involve a lot of careful vetting of qualifications. As a upshot, many of us didn’t have any. I get licensed through the NASM, but plenty of managers I work with haven’t. Some take multiple-choice online tests and use that, plus their visible muscles, to get hired. Don’t assume your coach is some former athlete or even passionate about fitness — numerous join up merely because they think it’ll be an easy-going job.

But all that isn’t necessarily the occasion. When I first met one high-end gym, one of my fellow newbies was a stunning fitness modeling. She aimed up going lots of scrutiny from the male clientele but couldn’t move that into paying clients and retire the field wholly. Meanwhile Adrian — a middle-aged, slightly overweight female tutor with a dense Colombian accent — sketched $250 k a year. She was at the top of her environment because she knew her shit, plain and simple.

Alex_Koch/ Pixabay “The quicker you touch your fitness aims, the quicker I thump my financial ones. So pick that up. Now”

4

The Gym’s Business Model Is Completely Dependent On Your Lack Of Motivation

tpsdave/ Pixabay

I can confirm some of the stuff Cracked joked about in this video: We genuinely do count on a certain percentage of members signing up but not expending the facility. If most gyms were used by anything close to the full listing of members, they’d be space beyond capability. One time, a major blizzard back in the early 2000 s basically shut down the city, but we stayed open. Tallies of lapsed members, with nothing else to do and against all anticipations, represented their practice through our entrances. It was the busiest period that gym ever had, there wasn’t nearly enough material for everyone, and it was a goddamn madhouse. Luckily, it’s fairly difficult to get trampled in a treadmill stampede.

Capitol Records Treadmill-related injuries have descent drastically ever since OK Go canceled their membership .

Beyond tricking the masses into memberships they’ll never exploit, we’re supposed to sign buyers up for personal conferences because that’s where the real money is. An hour of personal course might expenditure upward of $100, more than a whole month of gym membership. So once we’ve got parties in the fitness chamber, we tell them the gym itself will do nothing for them, and they need one-on-one time if they want to improve. Not because of our lore, necessarily: The genuine selling place of a personal manager is having to look mortal in the appearance and predict you’ll come to the gym at a specific time and appointment. It’s harder to stay on the sofa when you’ve became that personal and financial commitment.

mastermilmar/ iStock “You just knowing that, only give me your pocketbook. You need to earn it back.”

Sometimes they do fight dirty with your firmnes, though. Right after 9/11, the fitness administrator gave us this long-winded discussion and included a line he wanted us to tell potential patrons: The rationale so many beings died during 9/11 was that they were not fit enough to flee the buildings. It’s a awful statement, from what I heard. I never got around to applying it, because inferno is mostly one big-hearted steam room — can you thoughts how much semen is on the flooring? No thanks.

3

Personal Trainers’ Advice Can Harm You

Highwaystarz-Photography/ iStock

Here are the subjects a qualified manager can speak on, ideally with a shooting dance beat backing them up: posture and push, muscular persuasivenes and tenacity, sporting concert, cardiovascular conditioning, and flexible. That’s the ideal register, recollect — we may not know anything about any of that trash. We may exactly search rockin’ in spandex. Whatever the speciman, we are most certainly not powers on nutrition, reclamation, or anything medical. Yet in every gym you’ll find teaches happy to advise you on all of those circumstances no matter how disastrous the consequences.

gpointstudio/ iStock “No , no , not the muscles, that’s a common story. You have to eat another man’s nature to gain his strength.”

I know one teach whose patron was contending( due to coach incapacity, primarily ), so he answered, “Tell your doctor you have asthma and have them give you a prescription for Advair. That will help you with your cardio.” There was another who thought they were qualified to give diet admonition to a diabetic. One buyer is intended to get in shape for her August wedding, so her trainer introduced her in a sauna suit to run on the treadmill the morning of the wed to fit into her dress. And then there was the tutor who decided to fix a client’s back pain using “core exercises” that patently just made the agony worse. We scarcely evaded a lawsuit on that one.

Even I’m not immune to the occasional climb up my own ass. I used to tell patrons doing bench presses to touch the barbell to their chests. Then I learned this was shredding up their shoulder joints, so I stopped, but others still insist on it. Leg expansions are what everyone uses to build their quadruplets, but I tell people not to because they’re ruining their knees in the process — you’ll still realize a shiny leg extension machine in every gym. One trainer will tell you the lat drag got to go behind the cervix, and I’ve is evident that do terrible things to people’s shoulders long-term, but I’ve sounded other trainers insist that doing it in front of chest, like I say to, is also bad.

Gennadiy Kravchenko/ iStock It’s only a matter of season before it gets is the responsibility of autism and grease-gun violence .

You’ll never know who’s right until you bolt yourself up doing it wrong.

2

Gym Employees Might Slip You Steroids

Dario Lo Presti/ iStock

At one gym I worked at, the first Monday of every month, a person in a dres would show up, change into workout gear, and take a pitch-black backpack into the gym with him. The human, who we dubbed “the doctor, ” would do a 30 -minute session. At some quality, he would casually residence the knapsack somewhere behind the pull-up depot, and the fitness director would later take it with him into the role. For the coming week, all the Terminator-looking guys strolled in to the fitness manager’s office when the sales director wasn’t around. I got the find they weren’t considering that quarter’s revenue.

Ozimician/ iStock “Oh my divinity, I finally pictured Hamilton , and telling you, absolutely worth the wait ! ”

One trainer I know mails his clients to a medical doctor at an anti-aging clinic, admonishing them to claim that they’re suffered by low-pitched testosterone. The doctor then leads a series of tests which magically confirm this, and the customer, whose simply real evidence is a lack of swoleness, skips away with a law prescription for testosterone. You can even get your insurance to pay for diminishing your testicles.

1

In The Result, The Gym Is Selling An Impossible Fantasy

Milan Stojanovic/ iStock

Cracked has told you over and over that the number of people who lose a large amount of weight and keep it off is statistically zero. Now, I have worked with people who’ve transformed their bodies in prodigious behaviors, so I’m not going to say it’s impossible to lose weight, but it is much harder than most people guess. A huge part of that is because the fitness routines we prescribe you are unsustainable, and we know this. Most people will get through the first few days of a educate routine just fine, and we’ll tell them it will get easier, but in reality, it gets harder . If it starts to get easier, you’ll stop witnes outcomes. And anytime you take on a new project, whether it’s starting a fitness routine or a habit dildo business, it steals from something else in your life.

Eva K ./ Wiki Commons “In the end, it was my free time with my boys that I was certainly leaving the shaft to.”

I try not to given impractical possibilities: During my first had met with a patron, I extract as much info as possible on the person’s life-style, mindset, objectives, and exercising biography, then try drafting a intention they can actually follow. But if gyms everywhere told buyers the truth — that there is no finish line; you are able to never reply, “OK , now I have a six-pack, so I’m finished with my person and now I can focus all of my time on video games”; that maintaining that six-pack is now your part-time activity for the rest of their own lives; and the older you get, the more working here will take — a billion-dollar manufacture would disappear overnight. Forget rising health-insurance premiums — that’s how paunch would maim the economy.

Ryan George hosts The GymWits podcast and has a new notebook out , Freeweight Training Anatomy . Follow Ryan Menezes on Twitter for trash slashed from this section and interesting thing no one should ensure . Have a tale to share with Cracked? Email us here . For more insider attitudes, check out 5 Insane Realities Behind The Scenes Of A Weight Loss Ad and I AM Compensating For Something: A Bodybuilder Speaks Out . Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out If Gyms Were Honest, and other videos you won’t meet on the site !

Also, follow us on Facebook, and let’s get a speedy spout sesh in, bro .

The post Parties Are Doing It At Your Gym: 6 Personal Trainer Secrets appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2skJ5Pe via IFTTT

[apsbicepstraining]

Parties Are Doing It At Your Gym: 6 Personal Trainer Secrets

It’s been months since you signed up for that gym membership, and hitherto here “you think youre”, staring at a screen instead of working out. Maybe you’re doing the right choice. Sure, sitting on your ass will almost certainly kill you sooner, but at least you’ll be saved the ache, lies, and body fluids you know a gym excursion will be generated. And at the least you won’t have to look at the smiling appearance of a personal manager like Ryan George, who wants to tell you that …

6

There’s Plenty Of Sex At The Gym

stokpic/ Pixabay

I’m proud of the number of buyers I’ve bedded … because that figure is zero. I did a dwelling period formerly with the status of women who indicated activity in the nude( I admonished her not to — the pinching alone !). I had a male buyer invite me to a threesome with his wife( again, I said no; that is not what we mean by a “partner membership” ). At a hotel gym, I worked with a purchaser who wanted me to rub his glutes and asked if I’d ever been with a husband( I told him that I wasn’t training at as massage ).

Body-n-Care/ Pixabay “No, I’m not trained in groin massages either.”

Less ethical coaches take advantage, though. There was one I worked with who went after every attractive woman that came in. One era, a girl came storming onto the fitness floor and requested every staff member where he was, but he was nowhere find work. A few minutes later, there was a raucous agitation: The girl didn’t know about the trainer’s reputation and found out that he had been hooking up with someone else. The gym pointed up canceling both women’s bodies for contending. They prevented the coach, though, as he had among the best sales amounts at the gym.

One high-end gym that I was working at is seeking to incentivize us to stay on-site all day by building a “sleeping” room for the personal teaches, ended with bunk beds. Yes, some genius thought it was a smart thought for groupings of predominantly young, attractive, and single trainers to have their own bedroom in the gym, and much to everyone’s startle and feeling, the chamber became a love-den. I did try the chamber out for its intended objectives on one occasion, only to have my siestum ended by two tutors running one another out. Eventually, we lost access to the chamber because the housekeeping staff rejects to clean it.

kadmy/ iStock “Seriously, how difficult is it to make the condoms IN the trash barrel? ”

One tip: Never go barefoot in a steam bath. At the place I work now, the steam bath is pretty regularly stained with semen. It’s most likely research results of jacking off pre-workout, which presumably drops your blood pressure and loosen you. Hey, they say you have to erased exclusively your sweat down after you’re finished.

5

A Personal Trainer’s Looks Matter Way More Than Their Suitabilities

Satyrenko/ iStock

Like most of the service industry, gyms hire with an eye toward beautiful. As a manager told me, I have to be what the customer wants me to be. To female tutors, he mentioned, “If it’s a guy, you have to give him a really tough exercising. When he’s finished, take him to the rub counter. Rub his legs, extend him out, and when you are doing the hamstring extend, lean over, expose a bit of cleavage and announce, ‘I’d like you to be my purchaser. What kind of pack can I put you down for? ‘”

g-stockstudio/ iStock “I’m very committed to your hap-penis.”

It’s pretty clear what kind of business he thought he was passing, and it didn’t involve a lot of careful vetting of qualifications. As a upshot, many of us didn’t have any. I get licensed through the NASM, but plenty of managers I work with haven’t. Some take multiple-choice online tests and use that, plus their visible muscles, to get hired. Don’t assume your coach is some former athlete or even passionate about fitness — numerous join up merely because they think it’ll be an easy-going job.

But all that isn’t necessarily the occasion. When I first met one high-end gym, one of my fellow newbies was a stunning fitness modeling. She aimed up going lots of scrutiny from the male clientele but couldn’t move that into paying clients and retire the field wholly. Meanwhile Adrian — a middle-aged, slightly overweight female tutor with a dense Colombian accent — sketched $250 k a year. She was at the top of her environment because she knew her shit, plain and simple.

Alex_Koch/ Pixabay “The quicker you touch your fitness aims, the quicker I thump my financial ones. So pick that up. Now”

4

The Gym’s Business Model Is Completely Dependent On Your Lack Of Motivation

tpsdave/ Pixabay

I can confirm some of the stuff Cracked joked about in this video: We genuinely do count on a certain percentage of members signing up but not expending the facility. If most gyms were used by anything close to the full listing of members, they’d be space beyond capability. One time, a major blizzard back in the early 2000 s basically shut down the city, but we stayed open. Tallies of lapsed members, with nothing else to do and against all anticipations, represented their practice through our entrances. It was the busiest period that gym ever had, there wasn’t nearly enough material for everyone, and it was a goddamn madhouse. Luckily, it’s fairly difficult to get trampled in a treadmill stampede.

Capitol Records Treadmill-related injuries have descent drastically ever since OK Go canceled their membership .

Beyond tricking the masses into memberships they’ll never exploit, we’re supposed to sign buyers up for personal conferences because that’s where the real money is. An hour of personal course might expenditure upward of $100, more than a whole month of gym membership. So once we’ve got parties in the fitness chamber, we tell them the gym itself will do nothing for them, and they need one-on-one time if they want to improve. Not because of our lore, necessarily: The genuine selling place of a personal manager is having to look mortal in the appearance and predict you’ll come to the gym at a specific time and appointment. It’s harder to stay on the sofa when you’ve became that personal and financial commitment.

mastermilmar/ iStock “You just knowing that, only give me your pocketbook. You need to earn it back.”

Sometimes they do fight dirty with your firmnes, though. Right after 9/11, the fitness administrator gave us this long-winded discussion and included a line he wanted us to tell potential patrons: The rationale so many beings died during 9/11 was that they were not fit enough to flee the buildings. It’s a awful statement, from what I heard. I never got around to applying it, because inferno is mostly one big-hearted steam room — can you thoughts how much semen is on the flooring? No thanks.

3

Personal Trainers’ Advice Can Harm You

Highwaystarz-Photography/ iStock

Here are the subjects a qualified manager can speak on, ideally with a shooting dance beat backing them up: posture and push, muscular persuasivenes and tenacity, sporting concert, cardiovascular conditioning, and flexible. That’s the ideal register, recollect — we may not know anything about any of that trash. We may exactly search rockin’ in spandex. Whatever the speciman, we are most certainly not powers on nutrition, reclamation, or anything medical. Yet in every gym you’ll find teaches happy to advise you on all of those circumstances no matter how disastrous the consequences.

gpointstudio/ iStock “No , no , not the muscles, that’s a common story. You have to eat another man’s nature to gain his strength.”

I know one teach whose patron was contending( due to coach incapacity, primarily ), so he answered, “Tell your doctor you have asthma and have them give you a prescription for Advair. That will help you with your cardio.” There was another who thought they were qualified to give diet admonition to a diabetic. One buyer is intended to get in shape for her August wedding, so her trainer introduced her in a sauna suit to run on the treadmill the morning of the wed to fit into her dress. And then there was the tutor who decided to fix a client’s back pain using “core exercises” that patently just made the agony worse. We scarcely evaded a lawsuit on that one.

Even I’m not immune to the occasional climb up my own ass. I used to tell patrons doing bench presses to touch the barbell to their chests. Then I learned this was shredding up their shoulder joints, so I stopped, but others still insist on it. Leg expansions are what everyone uses to build their quadruplets, but I tell people not to because they’re ruining their knees in the process — you’ll still realize a shiny leg extension machine in every gym. One trainer will tell you the lat drag got to go behind the cervix, and I’ve is evident that do terrible things to people’s shoulders long-term, but I’ve sounded other trainers insist that doing it in front of chest, like I say to, is also bad.

Gennadiy Kravchenko/ iStock It’s only a matter of season before it gets is the responsibility of autism and grease-gun violence .

You’ll never know who’s right until you bolt yourself up doing it wrong.

2

Gym Employees Might Slip You Steroids

Dario Lo Presti/ iStock

At one gym I worked at, the first Monday of every month, a person in a dres would show up, change into workout gear, and take a pitch-black backpack into the gym with him. The human, who we dubbed “the doctor, ” would do a 30 -minute session. At some quality, he would casually residence the knapsack somewhere behind the pull-up depot, and the fitness director would later take it with him into the role. For the coming week, all the Terminator-looking guys strolled in to the fitness manager’s office when the sales director wasn’t around. I got the find they weren’t considering that quarter’s revenue.

Ozimician/ iStock “Oh my divinity, I finally pictured Hamilton , and telling you, absolutely worth the wait ! ”

One trainer I know mails his clients to a medical doctor at an anti-aging clinic, admonishing them to claim that they’re suffered by low-pitched testosterone. The doctor then leads a series of tests which magically confirm this, and the customer, whose simply real evidence is a lack of swoleness, skips away with a law prescription for testosterone. You can even get your insurance to pay for diminishing your testicles.

1

In The Result, The Gym Is Selling An Impossible Fantasy

Milan Stojanovic/ iStock

Cracked has told you over and over that the number of people who lose a large amount of weight and keep it off is statistically zero. Now, I have worked with people who’ve transformed their bodies in prodigious behaviors, so I’m not going to say it’s impossible to lose weight, but it is much harder than most people guess. A huge part of that is because the fitness routines we prescribe you are unsustainable, and we know this. Most people will get through the first few days of a educate routine just fine, and we’ll tell them it will get easier, but in reality, it gets harder . If it starts to get easier, you’ll stop witnes outcomes. And anytime you take on a new project, whether it’s starting a fitness routine or a habit dildo business, it steals from something else in your life.

Eva K ./ Wiki Commons “In the end, it was my free time with my boys that I was certainly leaving the shaft to.”

I try not to given impractical possibilities: During my first had met with a patron, I extract as much info as possible on the person’s life-style, mindset, objectives, and exercising biography, then try drafting a intention they can actually follow. But if gyms everywhere told buyers the truth — that there is no finish line; you are able to never reply, “OK , now I have a six-pack, so I’m finished with my person and now I can focus all of my time on video games”; that maintaining that six-pack is now your part-time activity for the rest of their own lives; and the older you get, the more working here will take — a billion-dollar manufacture would disappear overnight. Forget rising health-insurance premiums — that’s how paunch would maim the economy.

Ryan George hosts The GymWits podcast and has a new notebook out , Freeweight Training Anatomy . Follow Ryan Menezes on Twitter for trash slashed from this section and interesting thing no one should ensure . Have a tale to share with Cracked? Email us here . For more insider attitudes, check out 5 Insane Realities Behind The Scenes Of A Weight Loss Ad and I AM Compensating For Something: A Bodybuilder Speaks Out . Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out If Gyms Were Honest, and other videos you won’t meet on the site !

Also, follow us on Facebook, and let’s get a speedy spout sesh in, bro .

The post Parties Are Doing It At Your Gym: 6 Personal Trainer Secrets appeared first on apsbicepstraining.com.

from WordPress http://ift.tt/2skJ5Pe via IFTTT