#a shame cuz he's one of my favorites though he's kinda an ass

[vengeancewise]

Part of me is tempted to drop Chikage as a test muse or maybe just make him a private muse.

Part of me is also tempted to list Anaxa as a test muse.

[hvly]

ᴡɪᴄᴋᴇᴅ | Todo Aoi

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ : Todo Aoi + Toxic F! Reader

✰ - ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢ : toxic behavior, blowjob, face fucking (for like, 4 seconds) size kink, the L bomb gets dropped kinda , reader’s just kind of a bitch

✰ - ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ : 4.4k

✰ - ᴀ/ɴ: toxic bitches are always fun ! i got kinda lazy at the end cuz i got tired of looking at the screen, but i still hope y’all enjoy it (﹒︠ᴗ﹒︡)

You stared flatly across the table at the pink haired boy. It was always such a hassle when they pulled shit like this. Calling you up to go out somewhere with them, then giving you some mushy ass speech about how they “loved you” and “how well they’d treat you” only to do one of two things when you rejected them; Pull a complete 180 and insult you or beg like some pathetic little puppy dog for you to give your relationship a chance.

Yuji, unfortunately, chose to do the former.

“I never said I loved you,” you purred. “We fuck a couple of times and I laugh at some of your jokes, so that means I love you? Please.” You let his face go and start making your way out past him, the clack of your heels seemingly mocking him. You grab the handle of the door and push it open slightly before stopping and taking one last glance at him. He stayed where he was, head hung low and fists glued to his sides. “You can have all your stuff back, by the way,” you said before swinging the door open and leaving the shop.

You threw your head back as you made your way back to your car. Geez, why couldn’t he have just sent you a comically long message like the other dudes you played? It would have been a lot easier on his heart, rather than getting turned down like that in such a public place. Sure, you could’ve let him down easily, but where’s the fun in doing that?

He was a nice boy, though. He was funny, super attractive, had a rockin 'body. And most importantly, out of all the boys you’ve had the pleasure (or displeasure) of fucking, he easily had some of the best dick you’ve ever had. It was such a shame that you had to let him go because of his feelings for you, but you knew there was always someone who could provide the same, if not more.

As you approached your car, you felt your phone vibrate in your back pockets. “Speak of the devil”, you muttered to yourself. You unlocked your car door and settled into the driver’s seat. The vinyl of the seat was uncomfortable against the back of your thighs, the hot surface practically baking your skin before you even sat down.

You turned the ignition and let the A\C blast as high as it could possibly go, hoping that the cold air would keep you from being cooked alive in the vehicle. Once you had cooled down a bit, you took your phone out of your pocket and tapped the screen. Your eyes immediately landed on the notification center, Todo’s name illuminated in white letters.

“I wonder what he could want,” you said sarcastically as you unlocked your phone and opened up your messages.

“U busy?”

“On my way home, whatcha need?”.

“Swing by my place real quick”

A soft chuckle escaped your lips as you sent a message saying you’d be there in a few. His intentions were so blazingly obvious that you couldn’t help but laugh a bit. You hooked your phone up to the stereo, blasting your favorite “pre-session” playlist.

“Yeah, boys are so fucking easy,” you thought to yourself as you pulled out of the parking lot and made your way towards Todo’s place.

---

You stood outside Todo’s apartment door, checking over yourself and making sure you were presentable. You checked your makeup in the camera of your phone, praying that the heat from the day hadn’t smudged it or made you look messy.

Satisfied with your appearance, you knocked on the door. It was quiet for a moment, then you heard the sound of footsteps shuffling towards the door. There were various clicks of the locks before the door slowly swung open, greeting you with Todo’s large frame. His hair was wet and messily pushed back out of his face, showcasing the large scar over the left side of his forehead and eye. He had on a regular t-shirt and a pair of sweats. You don’t know how he did it, but he somehow made looking bummy kinda hot.

“Just got out the shower?” you asked, shifting your weight from one foot to the other. Todo grunted in response, massaging a thick hand through his ebony locks. “I was coming back from the gym when I texted you,” he said, running his hand underneath his shirt and resting it on his stomach.

Of course he was. He practically lived in the gym. But, you didn’t care about any of that.“Sooo are you gonna let me in or am I supposed to stand outside all night?” you teased, motioning to how he was blocking the entrance.

“Oh, my bad,” he said. He stepped back further into his apartment, opening the door enough for you to come in. You gave him a sweet smile before squeezing past the frame, Todo shutting the door behind you once you were fully inside. You took off your shoes and ventured further into his apartment.

It was a lot cleaner than usual. There was still the random article of clothing strewn about the furniture and the odd dish here and there, but it was a definite upgrade.

“You finally cleaned up in here,” you said, slowly inspecting his living area as you walked around. A chuckle sounded from his chest as he followed behind you. “Glad you like it, it took for fuckin’ ever,” he said as he leaned against the countertops. You hummed, hoisting yourself up onto the kitchen island. “Mhmm. So what’d you need,” you asked, “I know you didn’t call me over here just to show me you cleaned.”

Todo shrugged, flicking a balled up piece of paper across the counter. “Missed you n’ wanted to see you,” he answered, straightening from his hunched position at the end of the counter. He stretched and ran his hands through his hair once more before continuing. “I rarely ever see you anymore so,” he trailed off, toying with the white strings on his sweats.

Up until about 3 hours ago, you were fooling around with his best friend. So with that knowledge, it wouldn’t have been in your best interest to let either party know about your involvement with the other.

On top of that, it wasn’t like you really had any reason to see Todo other than sex. If he didn’t reach out to you first to meet up somewhere for a “date” or just to fuck you stupid, he rarely ever heard from you. There were days when you’d entertain his texts with inquiries about his day and vague messages alluding to possible romantic feelings, but that was all to keep him hooked on you for as long as you had any type of interest in him.

And his lack of eye contact, sudden fidgeting, and his confession of missing you was all the confirmation you needed. You had him in the palms of your hands. You smiled to yourself, your sadistic little heart happy that you had managed to trap another unsuspecting, lovestruck boy. Now the real fun could begin.

You hopped down from the counter, a soft thump when your feet hit the floor. You walked over to Todo and wrapped your arms around his neck. “ ‘M sorry, Ao. Y’know how busy I get sometimes,” you apologized, faking sympathy with a honeyed tone and a sweet gaze. Todo met your gaze with low eyes, placing his massive hands onto your hips. “Yeah, I know,” he said, black irises trailing from your eyes to your pretty glossed lips.

You hummed lightly and swayed your bodies to where his back was against the counter. You massaged a hand through his damp hair, pulling your face close to his ear. “How ‘bout I make it up to you?” you asked, placing a soft kiss along his jawline. Todo’s hands travelled from your hips to your ass, calloused palms cupping your supple cheeks. You planted glossy kisses along the side of his neck before reaching his lips, stopping before they connected with his. You could feel the bulge that had grown in his sweats, pressing firmly against your navel.

You caught his gaze, his eyes hazy with lust. This boy was wrapped perfectly around your manicured finger and you loved it. You closed the remaining distance with a passionate kiss, trailing your hands down to the elastic waistband of his pants. Todo returned the kiss, his hands continuing to grope and squeeze your ass. His tongue prodded at your lips, prompting you to open them enough to allow him access to the inside of your mouth.You sucked on his tongue, the sensation of him exploring your mouth making your head spin.

Todo pulled away, a thin string of saliva connecting the two of you. The sound of your breaths filled the small kitchen area, your chests heaving from the sloppy make out session. You sank to your knees, coming face to face with the tent in his pants. A slight grin tugged at Todo’s lips. “You’re gonna suck my dick? You must really want to make it up to me,” he teased, balancing himself on his palms as you got settled before him.

“Isn’t that what I said?” you responded, sliding your fingers in between the elastic band and his olive skin. Slowly, you pulled Todo’s sweats down, his bulging hard on popping free as soon as the fabric made it past his waist.

You were always amazed when you saw Todo’s cock. He was massive. As if the length wasn’t intimidating enough, he had a girth that would make anyone weak in the knees just upon looking at it. It always made your core ache whenever you were presented with his cock.

You took his length into your hands, giving it a few sensual strokes and peppering his rounded tip with soft kisses. Todo bit his lip at the sensation, his black eyes trained on your form below him. You licked up the side of his cock slolwy, paying extra close attention to the particular vein that made Todo’s breath catch in his throat.

With your free hand, you rubbed small circles on his tip, the precum that was dribbling out aiding as a lubricant. A low, throaty groan escaped Todo’s lips as he let his head fall back, his hair messily draping his shoulders. “Fuuuck, that feels good,” he breathed, his eyes fluttering shut.

You chuckled to yourself, his reaction to such little teasing stroking your ego a bit. You kissed his tip once more before sliding it past your lips, using your tongue to help guide him into your mouth. Todo hissed, his hand flying down to cup the back of your head. The corners of your mouth stung as you took more of him in, tears pricking the corner of your eyes. You managed to take all of him, the head of his cock resting at the back of your throat and the tip of your nose pressed against his pubic bone. A longer groan sounded from Todo. “Yess, just like that, baby,” he groaned as he gathered your hair into his hand.

You stayed there for a few seconds, swallowing him as best as you could while fighting back the urge to gag and the burning sensation from having your jaw stretched so far. When the need to breathe became too strong to ignore, you pulled his length out of your mouth. You gasped and gave Todo a few rapid strokes, giving yourself a chance to regain your breath. Your eyes flitted up to him, tears decorating your bottom lashes.

He made eye contact with you, face flushed and chest rising and falling . It wasn’t often that you decided to give Todo head, so he probably wasn’t accustomed to feeling the inside of your mouth. You gave him a devious smirk while your tongue glided along the underside of his cock, your free hand gently massaging his balls.

Obscenities fell from Todo’s lip, his hand fisting your hair. “Your mouth feels so fuckin’ good, fuck.” The sounds that were coming from Todo had your clit throbbing against your soaked panties.Your free hand slid into your shorts, giving much needed attention to the neglected little bud. You drooled on his tip before sliding him between your lips again, bobbing your head up and down with a fury.

Todo brought his hands to either side of your head, his rough palms resting on the apples of your cheeks. “Gonna cream in that pretty lil’ mouth...shit,” he cursed, holding your head still as he fucked into your mouth. You felt your pussy flutter from the sudden change of pace. Tears rolled down your cheeks from the way Todo rammed into the back of your throat, spit pooling at the corner of your lips.

You tapped the side of his thigh, signalling that you couldn’t breathe. But Todo was in some sort of drunken state and paid no mind to your silent plea. “ M’gonna...gonna cum,” he choked out, his thrust becoming uneven and sloppy. You felt his cock throb against the roof of your mouth before he pulled out, a loud pop resonating in the room. You coughed pathetically as air rushed into your lungs, collapsing onto your calves as Todo fisted himself over the edge. He groaned loudly as thick white ropes of cum coated your face and tongue.

Todo pulled you off the floor, sloppily pressing his lips against yours. His tongue swirled around the inside of your mouth, sharing the taste of his orgasm with you. You rubbed your thighs together, the arousal in your shorts becoming uncomfortable.

Without pulling away from you for a second, Todo lifted you off the floor and carried you to his room. Upon entering his room, he laid you out onto his bed. The plush material of his comforter felt like a welcome hug. Todo pulled away from you, leaving you both breathless.

His muscular frame towered over you as he started to undress you. He lifted your shirt above your chest, revealing the pretty lace bra you had decided to wear today. Todo paused a minute, admiring how you looked splayed out on his mattress.

“So fuckin’ pretty,” he said breathlessly. He unclipped your bra and threw it somewhere in the room, freeing your breasts from their confines. He took your tits into each of his hands, the pads of his thumbs rolling over the already perky nubs. A soft moan escapes your lips as he plays with your nipples, your body feeling more sensitive than usual. Todo takes one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking and biting on it while he pinches the other.

Your whole body felt hot as Todo played with your tits, the constant pulsating you felt in your crotch intensifying. Todo squeezed your tits together, large palms almost encasing the supple flesh. He pressed his lips to your chest, kissing each breast before starting a trail of kisses down your stomach.

You bit your lip in anticipation, the hair on your arms prickling after each kiss he left on your body. When he reached your inner thighs, he placed gentle kisses to each. He lightly bit the inside of your right thigh, eliciting a soft gasp from you. With one swift motion, Todo had pulled your shorts and panties down your legs, leaving your soaking wet cunt bare for him to see.

“Missed this pretty ass pussy,” he said, lightly brushing his lips past your slick folds. You groaned, growing frustrated as Todo teased you with light touches and his breath on your aching clit. “Stop playing with me,” you whined, impatiently squirming on the bed.

“Shh I know, baby. I’ll give you what you want,” he hushed, placing more kisses to the inside of your thighs. He knew how much you hated being teased, and you weren’t in the mood to deal with his shit right now. But before you could voice your annoyance, Todo dragged his tongue slowly between your folds, lips closing around your swollen little bud.

Your voice caught in your throat and your hands gripped the sheets. The sudden contact on your pussy had been the relief you had been craving. Todo continued to suck on your clit, occasionally prodding his tongue at the entrance of your dripping hole. Your back arched off of the bed, your voice falling freely from your lips. “Ohhh, fuck,” you moaned, hands trailing up your body to cup your breasts.

Todo sat up, lips and chin covered in your slick. You whined loudly, throwing your head back in irritation. “Why would you stooop?” you glared at Todo, upset that he thought now would be a good time to try edging you. He grabbed a small golden package from his nightstand, tearing the plastic seal with his teeth. “Calm down. I told you I’d give you what you want, right?”

You felt your pussy clench at the sight of the condom. That definitely was what you wanted, but he couldn't wait until after he finished eating you out? You were still a little annoyed, but he knew just as well as you did that you’d feel a thousand times better creaming on his dick rather than on his face.

Todo took the rubber out of it’s package and placed it on his tip, slowly rolling it down till it all but flattened out at the base of his cock. You watched as he positioned himself above you, your stomach coiling up in anticipation. He slid his length in between your folds, slowly rocking his hips in a back and forth motion.

Soft moans sounded in your throat, the gentle rocking of his hips sending jolts of pleasure up your spine. Having gathered enough of your arousal on his shaft, he positioned himself with the entrance of your expecting cunt. “Don’t run from it. Just relax,” he said, rubbing slow circles on your puffy clit.

You nodded, focusing on your breathing and the way the pad of his thumb felt. The only downside to Todo’s massive cock was the painful stretch that was unavoidable. No amount of prep or lube would get your pussy accustomed to basically being split in half. But a little pain would make up for a lot of pleasure later.

His tip slowly slipped into your warm, gummy walls and you were already starting to feel stretched out. He continued to push in slowly, still rubbing circles on your clit in an effort to help you relax. You whined at the uncomfortable sensation, your pelvic bone starting to feel heavy as Todo further sheathed himself.

Todo placed a reassuring kiss to your forehead, praises falling from his lips as you took him. “You’re doing so good. Just a little more,” he purred. He grunted softly as he got close to bottoming out. Your face contorted in pain as his hips drew closer to yours. You placed your hands on his hips, tears threatening to spill at the discomfort. “A-Ao, it hurts,” you cried, trying to push his much larger frame off of yours.

“I know baby, you’re almost done ,” he said, quickening the pace of his finger on your clit. You squeezed your eyes shut, the overwhelming stretch feeling like too much to bear. Todo admired how your pussy was spreading open to accommodate his girth and the way you sucked him in, despite your protests about how much it hurt. He watched as the rest of his cock disappeared into your cunt, mesmerized by the milky ring that was beginning to form around the base of his cock..

“Tell me when to move,” he said, gently placing your legs over his broad shoulders.You let a huff of air out, giving your walls the opportunity to adjust to Todo’s ridiculous size. After a few seconds had passed, you gave him a breathy “okay”. He smiled, placing a kiss to your calf before slowly dragging his length in and out of you at a slow pace.

Before long, any pain you had previously felt has all but vanished. The more he fucks into your cunt, the higher your pleasure rises. It’s enough to completely rid your mind of anything other than how well his cock fills you out and how he makes your body react when he hits your sweet spots. You moan loudly, chanting “faster” like some sort of mantra.

Seeing that you’re no longer in any type of pain, Todo obliges to your pleas for him to go faster. He grips your hips, slightly lifting them so he has more leverage to quicken his pace. “Oh fuck ! Right there !” you cry out, eyebrows knit together in ecstasy, the new angle causing him to hit a spot that has your body melting into the sheets.

The lewd sounds your pussy makes when he thrusts into you is like music to his ears. Coupled with your breathless moans for him to go faster, deeper, harder...it’s a symphony. It has his cock throbbing in your tight cunt and forgetting that he has home training.

“Damn, your pussy’s so tight,” he cursed under his breath, digging crescent shapes into the fat of your hips as he snaps his hips against yours. His rounded tip rams painfully into your cervix, making your body lock up from the sudden impact. “Aoi ! D-deep, too deep !” you slur, stringing together coherent thoughts becoming increasingly harder. Todo keeps going though, the way your walls clamp around him when he’s this deep has him swimming in his own delirious lust.

“You can take it, baby,” he grunts, his pace relentless as he continues to abuse your poor little hole. A tight coil starts to build up in your stomach, mind going blank as Todo fucks you closer to the edge of an orgasm. Todo reaches his hand down to rub your clit again, the pads of his thumb roughly swiping across the sensitive little bud.

You squirm under his touch, fumbling out broken sentences and breathless moans as your walls tighten around Todo’s cock. He groans, the way you're squeezing him has his head spinning. “Are you gonna cum?” he asks, placing kisses to your tear stained face. “Cum on my dick, baby,” he groans, angling his hips to hit that soft spot that always has you creaming so beautifully.

The tight coil in your stomach finally breaks, sending seismic levels of pleasure coursing through your entire body. You repeat the phrase “I’m cumming” over and over again while Todo fucks you through your high. He’s never seen you convulse like this or felt you clamp down this tightly around him before, and it made his heart race.

Todo bites his lip, his movements becoming shaky and uneven as he chases his own release. “Fuck, gonna cum.” With a few more thrusts, he lets out a throaty groan as he spills his milky white seed into you. He continues to rock his hips slowly into you, riding out his orgasm for as long as he can.

Todo pulls out of you slowly and pulls off the latex condom, throwing it across the room and hoping it landed in the trash can. He collapses next to you, both of you revealing in the afterglow. After you fully come down from your high, you scoot down from his bed and start collecting your article of clothes that were discarded around the room.

“Damn, not even gonna chill with me for a minute?” Todo asks, propping himself up on his elbow as he watches you throw on your underwear. You shrug, pulling your legs through your shorts. “You know I’m busy. I would if I could,” you said, checking to make sure you weren’t super fucked up in his mirror.

Todo sighs, throwing on a random pair of shorts that laid around his room. “Stay the night next time?” he asked, taking your hands into his. A small, hopeful smile tugged at your lips. “I’ll see.”

You walked out of his room, Todo following closely behind you to the front door. He opened the door for you and you walked out into the hallway. Todo gave your ass a light smack as you walked out the door, a goofy grin on his lips when you looked at him over your shoulder.

“Text me when you get home, okay?” he called out. You waved over your shoulder at his remake, continuing on your path to your car.

When you climbed into the driver’s seat, you let out a quiet sigh. You unlocked your phone and opened your messages, clicking on Todo’s name. Your finger glided across the keys as you typed out a short and sweet message.

“ See you again soon, Ao <3”

You watched as three dots appeared on the screen, soon turning into a text.

“See u. Get home safe, bby. Ily”

Your phone clicked as you locked it and threw it into the passenger seat.

Mhm, you were going to have so much fun with him.

© 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘴𝘰𝘯 2021. 𝘋𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘺.

[bigskydreaming]

The really great thing about allowing Dick and Jason to have a good relationship before A Death in the Family IMO, is that it opens up sooooo many more possibilities for AFTER Jason’s return.

For example:

Imagine a scenario where Bruce is gone for a week or so, the ever so useful “there was an offworld mission or something” excuse will do. And during that time, Dick and Jason are patrolling and working together....and they have an encounter with a particularly nasty villain or serial killer or whatever you want to go with. The bottom line is something happens during that particular adventure of theirs that leaves them shaken enough that they agree not to tell Bruce about it (believing the guy is dead or something), and then they try and put it behind them and never speak of it again.

Except then cut to a few years later, after Jason has come back but before he’s reconciled with the family, things are still strained and tense when their paths so much as cross, but with added angst because an actual brotherly bond torn asunder by death, trauma and lots of changes gives you way more fodder to work with IMO than the singular facet of Dick feeling guilty for not knowing Jason better - I mean, you have to at least admit that does limit your options considerably, in terms of their interactions, BUT I DIGRESS.

But anyway, Jason doesn’t have anything against Dick in the way he does against Bruce, other than accepting Tim into the fold (which he does understand in a way, because its not all that different from when Dick accepted him into the family and Robin role despite having plenty of legitimate reasons to be a lot more reticent about that).....but they avoid each other because its just kinda painful, the fact that they don’t KNOW each other anymore, not the way they used to understand each other in ways even Bruce couldn’t always follow or understand. Plus Jason’s attack on Tim, even leaning on the Pit madness as an altered state of mind mitigating circumstance....like, that’s still a hard thing to get past, one brother being like “Hey, lets do movie night tomorrow and totes just skip over the awkwardness of me just coming from hanging out with Tim who still has bandages on account of you trying to kill him the other day”.....its not the easiest thing to navigate, yeah? 

And the fact that while Jason does understand its not fair to expect Dick to have like, iced out this kid he didn’t go seeking out or anything, just for the sake of Jason’s memory.....that understanding comes and goes with how rational or not he’s feeling any particular day, because he GETS it, but that doesn’t mean he has to like it and he is after all only nineteen, and capable of bouts of pettiness, lol.

So even without Dick barely knowing Jason or Jason hating or resenting Dick, there’s still plenty of roadblocks in the way of an easy brotherly reunion, plenty of understandable and valid emotions and priorities and choices that make everything a confusing mess and create conflicts of interest and just a general miasma of uncertainty where its like, even though they miss each other and would love to get back their sibling bond, they don’t even know where to begin trying to go about that, you know? And throw in the state of affairs between Bruce and Jason still, which can be summed up as picture the Cold War, but now when you picture ‘Cold’ think ‘Ice Age’ and you’re almost there.

Like. That is the Mt. Saint Helens of roadblocks right there. A big ass volcano sitting in the middle of the road and just cuz its dormant now doesn’t mean that it couldn’t at any minute erupt and blow its top and destroy everything within a several hundred mile radius, and that’s just before Bruce and Jason REALLY get steamed, like, that’s just their warm-up.

So. Y’know. Difficulties. They abound.

But now throw in secrets from the time before Jason died that only the two of them know and they never told anyone else, and adventures they had when it was just the two of them, Jason visiting Dick in Bludhaven or Dick enabling Jason in playing hooky in Gotham because at that time Dick rotates methods of pissing Bruce off and that’s his go-to move for Tuesdays, and crimes they solved together like Dick was working on an investigation and let Jason weigh in to practice his deductive reasoning without Bruce and thus impress him with how much he’s improved. 

(My personal headcanon of brotherly advice Dick imparts to Jason on how to deal with Bruce is him telling Jason “when dealing with a man who thinks holding impossible expectations IS taking it easy on someone, he doesn’t understand the question, can you repeat it please....like, in that case there’s no shame in stacking the deck a little, whenever that’s possible.’)

Anyway, point being.....all you really need is one singular bad guy that only Dick and Jason faced, together, when they were younger. Someone particularly nasty or sadistic, enough to disturb even them despite how much they’ve seen and lived. And who for whatever reason, both of them believed to be gone for good, maybe they thought he fell off a cliff into a conveniently placed body of water where no body could be found or blah blah blah look you’re smart cookies, you get it.

Take those few simple ingredients, chuck them in a metaphorical bowl and stir them all together and then leave on low heat to simmer.....

And voila. Just like that, you have a ready-made situation that forces Dick and Jason, specifically, to work together despite how tense and fractured things are between them, and needing to find a way to repair their brotherly bond and figure out how to work together the way they used to.......thanks to everyone’s favorite Tropey McTroperson wherein a villain most foul, long believed dead, seems to be back and up to his old villainy.....and only those two who faced him before know how to stop him.....and despite all the reasons they come up with in their heads for why teaming up together now is just a recipe for disaster and doomed to failure, this is on them. 

They were the ones who stopped this guy before, they were the ones who mistakenly believed he was dead and the threat he posed was gone for good.....which makes his dastardly return....dun dun dun.....unfinished business for them. Its personal. 

All the completely valid, well-reasoned and justifiable arguments for why its absolutely bonkers for them to try and make like the Dukes of Hazzard on this case as if they’re not at least a little bit miffed at each other for various things involving killing certain people and not killing certain people and trying to kill certain people and being totally unreasonable about the trying to kill certain people.....none of that is enough to get in the way of them doing their best to put all that aside for now and team up to stop this guy for good, the way they should have the first time.

Because let’s face it. One of the definitive areas of common ground that Dick and Jason share is when things are personal....they take it VERY personally. And when they feel responsible for something, like, you could get God on the phone to personally deliver absolution and assure them it wasn’t their fault, and they’d still be like “LOL yeah, okay, that’s a good one ‘God.’ Didn’t know all-knowing deities could be super hella wrong about things but hey, everyone’s allowed an off day I guess.”

Anyway.

Two brothers estranged due to extreme circumstances, trauma, loss, grief, blame, the completely unreasonable and frankly just rude passage of time, and assorted other reasons ranging from “you stole my favorite weapon-Bruce-definitely-didnt-know-I-had-and-kept-as-a-souvenir when I was fourteen and you STILL haven’t given it back” to “you can’t just shoot someone as your way of ending an uncomfortable conversation, Jason”......

But force them together via external situations or shared goals, and you have the perfect excuse to sidestep a lot of the more impossible to navigate conflicts born of comic book writers who don’t freaking know how to CHILL when piling on the family dysfunction......and engineer a situation where they pretty much HAVE to retrace previous footsteps, comb their memories for every detail they can recall about that case and in the process remember how close they were then, fall back into old patterns and rhythms while working together....and various other things that give you everything you need to transplant them mentally and emotionally to a time before all those conflicts and problems created by other people, not them, when things were....better. 

While through the mere fact they’re successfully able to fall back into old habits and patterns of working together at all.....you can put them face to face with evidence that despite how much they’ve both changed and everything that’s come between them, they are still fundamentally the same people they always were, and the shared experiences and common ground and all of that which enabled them to become brothers in the first place....its all still there, still able to be brought back out and dusted off and then used to forge a new brother bond that takes into account the ways they’ve changed since they last truly knew each other.

And none of that erases or solves the various complications and conflicts and issues that do still exist in the present, because of everything that’s happened in the past few years and the things they’ve all done.....BUT, it allows for Dick and Jason at least to rebuild or find a new, sturdy foundation on which to stand and plant themselves before wading back into all of that.....so at least now they do so with firmer footing, and with a clear direction and goal in mind.....navigating the emotional minefield from their respect opposing sides.....and aiming to meet somewhere in the middle.

And then with one family bond rejuvenated, revitalized and consciously reaffirmed by both of them......then its that much easier to turn their attentions to the rest of the family, one by one, and repair or forge those bonds through a concerted effort....not just Jason on the outside looking in, or members of the family on the inside looking out at him like he’s a poor, lost soul they need to save (I can’t help but picture Jason upchucking at the very thought, eww, how dare they)......but rather, a mix of both. Jason making his way back into the family via walking side by side with an ally on the inside who is still keeping pace with him so they can present a united front while they work towards a common goal they both want.....a family that acts like a family instead of like.....idk, y’know, that thing they act like in the comics that’s called ‘a family’ but also, they all hate each other and wish everyone else would die except for the times when they forget the others even exist at all.

Anyway. That of course, is just one angle that can be taken with them, out of the many possibilities that arise just from letting them have a good relationship before Jason died.....and all the shared history, in-jokes, secrets, camaraderie, grief, etc that comes with that.

My point is just.....I talk a lot rant a lot about the fanon and fic tendency to paint them as having barely known each other back then and with it largely blamed on Dick having been a stand-offish asshole because he has a chip on his shoulder named Bruce and its not a chip at all its actually Mt. Everest, yup, the whole dang mountain, yetis and all.......

And then I kinda just....keep it there on that and how much it bugs, because, y’know. It bugs.

BUT.

In keeping tunnel-vision locked on that and nothing else, I’ve never really expanded on the other byproduct of this fanon tendency that I think is worth considering:

And that’s the fact that this angle, this story? The one where Dick was a douche and Jason doesn’t really like him because of that until Dick apologizes for being a douche back then and begs for a second chance to do better, etc, etc? Its been told. Literally hundreds of fic writers have written that story by this point, and in the process limited...confined themselves, to this one singular possible dynamic between Dick and Jason when the thing is, like....that’s pretty much the ONLY story and angle that can result from Dick and Jason barely having a relationship before he died.....basically just various executions of acknowledging their previous lack of a relationship, assigning blame, making apologies and granting forgiveness, and then from there building a relationship from scratch. 

Obviously, people come up with unique spins on this all the time, I’m not saying the stories that do this are all exactly the same....just that there’s an innate ceiling to that particular premise, because when that specific dynamic of ‘no relationship really existed before’ is your one and only starting point......there’s only so many places you can go from that, and wind up in the present where you then proceed to have them make a relationship for the first time.

BUT. But but but but but.

The second you allow for the possibility that Dick and Jason DID have a relationship before ADITF, and it just happened largely ‘offscreen’ due to the fact that no solo Nightwing or Robin titles existed back then so there was nowhere to showcase just the two of them together......

You open up like.....so many more possibilities and angles and avenues and directions.

Because the thing is, y’know how so many people in fandom pride themselves on not feeling constrained by canon, or better yet, speak fondly about the idea of just taking a flamethrower to the whole damn thing and cackling maniacally while shouting “This one’s for Bruce/Dick/Jason/Tim/Cass/whomever your fave fam member of choice might be”?

Well. I mean. *spreads hands*

The second you flip the switch from “Dick and Jason barely knew each other and mostly didn’t like each other, this is the only canon that exists despite the fact that we just made it up because we could and canon can suck it”.....to.....”Dick and Jason did have a relationship and were close before Jason’s death, its just we never saw it develop on the page due to logistical constraints”......

Suddenly.....you have THREE WHOLE YEARS of possible interaction that you can literally cram full of WHATEVER YOU WANT, and canon can’t say a damn thing about it because its Schrodinger’s Adventures of Nightwing and Little Wing......without any canon viewing point set up to observe these interactions and thus force them into a singular form that you either like or you hate and set on fire.....those Adventures can look like aaaaaaaaaaaanything you want, and canon can kiss your patootie if it doesn’t like it!

Its three whole years of “lost family history” just waiting to be mined for all kinds of treasure, and you can unlock it in any number of ways once Jason returns, to any number of potential end points.

They could have faced villains together just by themselves during that time, they could have teamed up on investigations. They could have had sleepovers, Dick could have helped him cram for tests or covered for him when he just needed to take a mental health day because dealing with Gotham’s upper class can be exhausting and he doesn’t know how to explain that to Bruce in a way that won’t just lead to Bruce saying “I know, I get it, I hate it too” even though the ways in which its exhausting to Bruce and the ways its exhausting to Jason are not the same and not interchangeable.....but he doesn’t have to explain that to Dick, because Dick is closer to an understanding of it, he’s been there for a version of that himself, and they were assholes to him because of his lower class and unorthodox upbringing too.

You could have Jason tagging along on various official or unofficial Titans missions or just meet-ups, the way Jason teamed up with them for the Brother Blood story without Bruce ever knowing. Dick’s kid brother that nobody minded him bringing because they all adored him, and thus just by having him and Dick get along, you open the door to Jason having established dynamics and history with any number of Dick’s friends, allowing for a wide range of potential reactions to Jason and his Red Hood persona after he comes back.

You could have Jason being really invested in his brother’s relationship in Kori because he thinks Kori is just the fucking coolest, or you can have Jason secretly shipping his brother and Babs and thinking they’d be a much better match but keeping quiet about his opinion as long as Dick’s happy with Kori. You could have Jason panicked and turning to Dick for help and advice the first time he asks a date to one of his school’s formal dances, because he’s pretty sure he’d be able to provide actual proof that spontaneous human combustion IS possible, if he had to ask Bruce for romantic advice, like, aside from the fact that he’s seen flies trapped in amber whose relationships appear to advance at a faster pace than Bruce’s does with Selina, that’s his DAD, eww, he can’t ask his DAD to fill him in on what’s normal to expect and likely to be expected of him on this kind of/level of dating, but Dick? He can go to Dick for that, and imagine the adorbs potential. 

And the likelihood of various Titans coming up with the flimsiest of excuses to keep popping into the room in order to spy on the adorbs-ness, and the literal natural disaster that is the combination of Wally, Roy, Garth, Gar and Joey all trying to be ‘helpful’ and offer their own dating tips to Jason, while Donna and Lilith kick back with some popcorn while taking shots at the various boys’ expertise and credentials in this matter, if they’re gonna be offering advice to an impressionable young teen who doesn’t deserve to be saddled with having to learn from THEIR mistakes.

And on and on and on. Three whole years you can fill with any manner of adventures, secrets, shared stories, confessed ambitions and hopes and dreams for the future, commiserating on the parts of growing up in the spotlight in Gotham that Bruce just can’t relate to, sharing things from their pasts that they’ve never even told Bruce about purely because there are some things that are just easier to tell or talk about with a sibling close to your age than to your father.

But you see what I’m saying? Rounding Dick and Jason’s early relationship down to the barest bones until its practically being non-existent......that makes for a paragraph or at most a chapter dedicated to covering that ground, something that everyone pretty much expects to pop up in a story in order to address that history they have, or lack there of. And thus its never really a surprise to see it, there’s not a ton to take away from it, and it oftentimes ends up kinda just being filler despite even the best writers’ best attempts to make it engaging.....because there’s just not a lot to say about a relationship whose defining aspect is it didn’t really exist, and I’m pretty sure most writers would love to simply skip past that entirely and not even bother addressing it because it FEELS like writing filler a lot of times, I imagine. But at the same time, you kinda HAVE to include it and can’t really come up with a way to just leave it out entirely, without having a gaping hole in the meat of your actual story that explains how Dick and Jason got from there to here. Its a part of the story that everybody already knows, or expects.....but still demands being included, because canon just skipped over that entirely so there’s nothing from canon to even reference when shifting Dick and Jason into the kind of dynamic you want them to have or grow after his return.

And so its a paragraph or two paragraphs or a whole chapter that nobody really ever wants to write, because there’s not a whole lot of new ground to cover with it, and its kinda a cause for resentment, being stuck having to include it in every story covering Jason’s return anyway, even though there’s only limited ways you can stretch and exercise your creativity and expand on that particular angle.

But with Dick and Jason having an actual relationship pre-ADITF that is filled with nothing but whatever you choose to fill it with, whenever you feel like delving into it or dusting off an old memory or vacation or want to reveal some long-buried secret only the two of them know.....the sky’s the limit. Instead of that standard stock paragraph/chapter rehashing the take on that particular story that everyone already knows but narrative structure forces everyone to shoehorn in somewhere anyway.....there’s more than enough in those three lost/secret years of family history, especially specific to Dick and Jason, to serve as the basis for entire fics exploring that time, digging up secrets or mysteries that originated in that time, reminiscing about that time or diving back into existing dynamics with people Jason met through Dick during that time without having to write Jason meeting them or only getting to know them for the first time as an adult.

(Omggggggg, imagine a story that’s just Dick and Jason and Uncle Clark, or Dick and Jason and Aunt Diana, and like, Bruce is like I GO OUT OF TOWN FOR ONE NIGHT AND YOU SOMEHOW END UP WITH MY KIDS HELPING YOU FIGHT AN ALIEN/DEMON INVASION ON SOME OTHER PLANET/DIMENSION??? WHAT THE HELL!)

In conclusion, you hate canon and how much it fucks with the Batfamily? Totally with you. But this is the one period in these characters’ lives where canon doesn’t actually weigh you down or cage you in if you don’t want it to....instead it gives you the gift of being whatever the hell you want it to be, just so long as you make sure everyone ends where they need to be by the time ADITF happens. (Assuming you don’t just end up going full AU by that point since there’s no law saying Jason HAS to die or else the DC universe will destabilize and implode in upon itself).

Anyway, I’ve waxed poetic about this long enough, I think, and without a single line of poetry to show for it, but that’s for the best. Me to poetry is like a butcher to a carcass, but only if this particular butcher is very bad at his job and always makes a mess everywhere, and it just never ends well for anybody.

And now, as usual, I end an overly long post that exhausted my brain cells and made me sputter to a stop just before I come up with an ending to the post that actually makes sense and isn’t just me going, hey you know what, maybe there is something to be said after all for the Sopranos’ sty - 

[if-found-return-to-gusu]

Happy Birthday to Me Pt 11

I thought this would be a great time to throw back another jar of wine. I’d almost made it to the tray of Emperor’s Smile when all of a sudden I was lifted BODILY FROM THE FLOOR AND CARRIED TO THE FUCKING STAGE AGAIN. 

DAGE I THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL!!! :( :( :( :(

And apparently SangSang had shoved Lan Zhan up there too!?!

“Come on guys,” I said, trying to save us both because Lan Zhan looked positively mortified, “Clearly Lan Zhan doesn’t want to sing again!”

I started to walk off the stage, determined to throw a wrench in whatever scheme those blasted Nie brothers had concocted, but I was too late. 

DaGe stood in my way as that damn song from the end of Grease started playing. That fucking ‘you’re the one that I want’ song.

Y’ALL AIN’T SLICK 

I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING YOU ASSHOLES

YOU THINK YOU’RE CLEVER

YOU THINK YOU’RE SO SMART

I kept trying to get off the stage but I think DaGe might qualify as an actual landmass because no matter what direction I tried there he fucking was!!!!

And then

The wind up had finished and the song had gotten to the words. 

And I heard Lan Zhan start to sing. 

In that smooth deep voice of his (Which is nothing like John Travolta but ooooh so much sweeter).

I swear to god I almost passed out when I heard him singing “I’ve got chiiiiils. They’re multiplyin”.

Like HOLY FUCK

IS THAT ALLOWED?

IS THAT ALLOWED????????????

Well of course I had no choice but to join in now! If Lan Zhan wants to sing it with me then that’s what he’s gonna get.

But I decided that if I was gonna suffer, so was everyone else. 

I picked the highest register falsetto screech I could manage. 

‘YOU BETTER SHAPE UP! CUZ I NEED A MAAAAAAAN”

That’s what you get, Nie Brothers. I hope you’re satisfied. 

Dickwads.

Not gonna lie though. 

Once I got over the initial mortification, it was actually kinda amazing. 

I know they threw us up there as like a sort of weird pseudo confession on my part but what it ended up as was a beautiful disaster. 

(So Me in a nutshell)

In the end some of the girls started doing backup vocals for us from the crowd too! You know those parts in between where the background singers just go “Oooh Oooh”.

It was great!

I was exhausted by the time it was over though. We took our bows and I ran off to get the drink I’d been coveting. I wasn’t gonna let anyone stop me this time. 

Taking an entire bottle for myself, I went back to sit and watch the next performers. 

Wen Ning finally worked up the courage (or drank enough wine) to get up on stage himself. And of course he chose one of the absolute BEST karaoke songs ever. Bohemian Rhapsody!

Fuck yeah! You can’t just have karaoke and NOT sing Queen! It’s against the law of parties!

He started off so shy (which worked because the song starts slow anyway) 

But with our encouraging cheers he soon got past that. Soon he was screaming “MAMAAAAAAA OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH” into the mike with all the passion his quivering body could muster!

It was amazing.

We all went in like he was singing the greatest performance ever. With lots of whoopings and “SING IT MY BROTHA!” from Wen Qing.

Apparently Lan Xichen took it as a personal challenge and decided to pull out the next obvious must have for karaoke parties and started singing Journey. 

I swear hearing that man rasp out “JUST A CITEH BOI!!” 

This one turned into everyone singing because how can we resist? 

Oh my favorite though had to be when the Nie Brothers went up and started singing “Gaston” from Beauty and the Beast.

OH my god that was incredible. 

DaGe got up there with a chair and started sulking while Nie Huaisang chose the track. And Nie Huaisang went along with the perfect LeFou. 

He leaned his elbow on DaGe’s shoulder with this sycophantic pout on his face. 

“Gosh it disturbs me to see you, DaGe, looking so down in the DUMPS”

OH god it was PERFECT. He changed out every single “Gaston” with DaGe. 

And DaGe’s voice was PERFECT as Gaston! Sign the man up for Broadway!

He started that bit about eating raw eggs (gross) and just BELTED out the word “barge” 

Like Fuck. This man had to be taking singing lessons on the sly or something! 

(I’m gonna ask SangSang about it later if I remember. Because he HAS to be taking lessons.)

After that the party started to wind down a bit. After another couple songs I looked over to the cake, thinking about stealing another sliver, and was dismayed to find out how little of it was left!

So while everyone was distracted I snuck over to steal…. Well the rest of it. Haha. 

I hid it in the cafe’s fridge to be wrapped up more… securely later. 

It’s my party. I do what I want. And I wants cake!!!

Fortunately everyone was so worn out as we all started crashing from our party high that no one noticed my temporary absence.

Like a fucking ninja!

Well…. I say I took all of it. 

Evidently I missed a piece. The cakes that Lan Zhan had been holding had somehow never left the chair I’d apparently set them on. 

We discovered this by way of Lan Xichen’s ass. 

Sat square on ‘em. 

Never let this man have alcohol. Just. Don’t do it. 

Well he screamed, which made A-Lian scream, which made Lan Xichen cry. It was a mess. 

And that is the note my birthday party ended on. Lan Xichen started wailing in DaGe’s arms about how he’d ruined Lan Zhan’s cake and how sorry he was. For his part DaGe seemed to be handling it well with some comforting pats and quiet ‘there there”s. 

The kids looked dead on their feet by then anyway so it was probably best to end the celebration anyway. 

I couldn’t have had a more perfect birthday. 

 I watched as everyone started cleaning up. I tried to help a few times and got scolded again, so I just kinda sat there to people-watch instead. 

It wasn’t until the peacock went to get Shijie’s coat that I remembered!!!!

I can’t believe that we almost forgot the most important tradition! 

I launched myself up to her crying that we forgot!!

And Jiang Cheng being himself tried to shame me by saying I was too old, to which I proclaimed that I was absolutely NOT too old. Never too old!

Shijie just giggled at us before giving me my owed kisses. One cheek kiss per year I managed to not die. 

Except she miscounted! I only got 28! I didn’t want to be ungrateful, but birthday kisses are birthday kisses! And if I’m expected to live to 30 I’m gonna need all 29!

I pointed out to her that she still owed me one. 

“I know I know,” she said, a mischievous glint in her eyes. (And people wonder where I learned it from. Pshh). She pulled a tube of BRIGHT red lipstick that I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen her wear before. She put it on carefully before pulling me in to leave the largest kiss she could on my forehead, no doubt leaving a perfect red kiss mark on it. 

She just laughed at me when I claimed that was cheating.

Cheating at what? Who knows. Still cheating. But she just booped my nose and kept giggling. 

That’s when we noticed A-Ling trying desperately to get her attention with big watery eyes. 

“Aw, A-Ling. Do you want a kiss too?” she asked sweetly, laughing again when he nodded with an even bigger pout. She knelt down to give him just as big a kiss on his cheek, leaving a bright red mark that surely matched mine exactly. 

And then she straightened up to kiss her husband who seemed to be sulking like he wanted one too but wasn’t willing to admit it. Looked like a bright red polkadot on his forehead. Right between the eyes. He looked ridiculous. 

A-Lian’s subsequent kiss was more pink than red at this point as she was slowly running out of lipstick. It was around this point that I felt a bump at the back of my legs. I looked down to see little A-Yuan peering at the display of kissing. His finger was hooked in his mouth, a habit we’re still trying to break him out of, and he looked so shy as he watched. I shifted a bit so Shijie would notice. 

Fortunately she did. I think he might have run away if I’d pointed it out verbally. She crouched next to him with that heart melting smile that only Shijie can do and asked him if he wanted a kiss too. He squeaked a little but nodded anyway and was rewarded with his own pink stamp on his cheek. He giggled and hid his face in my leg. 

She straightened up and the mischievous glint was back in her eye as she focused on Jiang Cheng who seemed to just be milling in the area, pointedly looking out the window rather than at the festival of smooches. 

“You want a kiss too, A-Cheng?” she asked teasingly. He scoffed and claimed he was too old. Clearly it was a ruse because he absolutely did want a kiss but his pride wouldn’t let him accept one easily. 

Too bad for him DaGe had no such issues. He pushed him aside and claimed he’d take it for him then. Shijie laughed then and gave him a nice big kiss on his cheek.

This set off a chain reaction as a rather disgruntled Jiang Cheng was forced further to the side by a still overly excited Lan Xichen who was whining that he wanted a kiss too! DaGe happily obliged, kissing his forehead (Much to Lan Xichen’s quite obvious delight).

Jiang Cheng, to his credit, did his best to look like he wasn’t sulking, but our Shijie can see through us no matter what front we put up. She’s magic like that. 

“You know you want one too, A-Cheng,” she said before snatching him and planting the biggest kiss yet on his cheek before he could manage to squirm away. 

He couldn’t quite disguise how happy this made him. Adorable. 

He’d better be ready for his 28 kisses when it’s his turn this weekend. 

After that it was all hugs and tears (the latter pretty much exclusively from Lan XIchen who seemed to remember his butt was full of cake). I’m pretty sure some people double back for more hugs. And Gamby and Aunty Yi each added to my collection of kisses, each taking a cheek. 

When Jin ZiXuan’s turn came for a second I thought he was actually going to hug me. I was ready to fight for my life, but it wasn’t needed .

“Oh look!” he said instead, “It’s WELL past 10:30 now. Wei Ying! Happy Birthday you dick!”

Cheeky bastard. 

He was immediately slammed by the consequences of this by his son tattling on him to Shijie, claiming his father had said a naughty word. 

I was still laughing as they shuffled out of sight when I got a solid smack on the arm.

Why do people keep hitting me????????????? Whyyyyyyyyyy

“Happy Birthday,” he said, not quite looking me in the face. You can’t expect Jiang Cheng to be sentimental AND make eye contact. Not possible. “Keep in touch, will you?”

I promised I would and pulled him in to one last hug, which he actually let me do without a fuss. 

The Wens were the last group to shuffle out but not before I caught Lan Zhan and A-Yuan sharing a big hug. 

Oh my heart. ARGHHHHHHHHHHH.

They seemed to be talking to each other about something but I couldn’t catch what either was saying. 

And then they were gone. 

Huaisang left shortly after them after some more birthday wishes and just like that I was alone with Lan Zhan. 

We looked at each other in the dim lights of the Cafe. I could look at him forever.

Once again this man had somehow managed to leave me speechless. Just… Everything he had done for me came washing over me all at once. We moved at the same time, each of us pulling the other in for a tight embrace.  

I thanked him again for giving me the best birthday I’d ever had. And he made my heart freak out again by telling me that I was worth every moment of it. 

I felt him place a kiss on the top of my head after saying that.

Fuck Lan Zhan! Do you want me to hit 30? Because if you keep this up I’ll die before I even get half way through my 29th year!!!

He told me to go upstairs while he locked up the cafe and finished the cleaning that wouldn’t be able to wait for tomorrow. 

[akurathereaper]

30 questions: GW2 edition

Seems I was tagged by ye boi myta, and this is one of the asks that actually seem a bit fun (?) i thought I’d do them? I usually don’t do these cuz they’re just... well here we go

Favorite living world season? For as much as I hated replaying it (cuz achievs), it has to be Season 2. The build up to Mordy was very cool imho (but I might be very much blinded by nostalgia lol)  Second to it would be definitely season 4, that shit picked up real fast

Favorite expansion? Not surprising, Heart of Thorns. Not sure WHAT it did to me (looking at you, Hearts and Minds), but it made me feel and those to whom I ranted know that me feeling stuff is rare. I first played through PS, then Season 2, and then got to Heart of Thorns, and the build up to it (shame I couldnt play S1) just stuck to me. Not sure if it’s me playing this game for too long that the spark faded out for me, or if PoF is just... not that shiny, you get me?

Favorite soundtrack? Basically the entire HoT soundtrack. And Fear not this night (+reprise). That shit makes me cry.

First profession you played? Thief :>

First race you played? Charr, actually. I thought they were going to be the nature themed race (dont ask me how I didnt see the literal plant people), and was very much wrong haha. 

Favorite Destiny’s Edge character? Snaff, actually. I read the book and I loved him, even though he wasn’t there for long. Next up would be Rytlock, probably.

Favorite Dragon’s Watch character? Uhhhhhhh have you SEEN Canach? It’s obvious. It’s me boi Canach. I consider his ass a full fledged member of DW.

Favorite Elder Dragon? Ahhh, hard to choose, but I very enjoyed Mordy (until I saw him in the last fight lol I had hoped he would LITERALLY be the entire jungle, that his mental embodiment wasn’t a 50y o dad)

Best boss fight (story)? Mordremoth, first that came to mind.

Best boss fight (fractal)? Uhhhhhh hard to say, I’d say... the tentacle thingo in Solid Ocean. I enjoy chucking rocks at it.

Best boss fight (raid)? I’ve only ever killed the VG, so Imma say VG.

PvE or PvP or RP? Can I say WvW? haha no kidding. PvE is first, then WvW (Cuz I enjoy mindless killing), pvp is boring, and I am unable to stay in character for RP, so I don’t do it.

Favorite canon couple? Uh... Joko and his Choya concubine.

Favorite fanon/self made couple? Trammander is best boi. Also Catlock is very very fun (Canach and Rytlock)

Favorite quote? “WE’RE GOING TO SHISH KEBAB A DRAGON!”

Most emotional cinematic? Ending of HoT. I cry everytime I catch a glimpse of it, just because he looks like he’s in so much pain before everything goes white.

Favorite VA? Brandon Bales (Male sylvari VA), he just grew so much with the role! Although I didn’t enjoy how aggressive we seemed in PoF, I kinda understood that we were in a hot af area, plucked out of our element and chasing a fucknugget that was ruining our day lol

Post a fun screenshot!

Post a landscape screenshot!

Most used mount(s)? Skyscale, griffon, beetleboi. In that succession XD

Favorite mount skin (for every mount you have)? I loooove the bioluminescent ones!

Favorite weapon? Nevermore :3

Favorite gear set? Warbeast (It has a tiddy window)

Favorite title? I don’t rly have one? I choose them depending on the char I play. But the longest one I used is Loyal

Something you worked really hard to get? Twilight :D It was my first legendary and I slaved off for almost a year xD

Favorite GW2 Youtuber / GW2 related video? I don’t really watch gw2 youtube scene :< Last person I watched was my friend... Game slobs (but he hasnt uploaded for 2 years so uwu)

Most used miniature? Trahearne :>

Most used novelty? The Embiggening tonic heheheheheh

Number of achievments points? According to gw2efficiency... 11,218 :>

Something you’d love to see in GW2? Dyable weapons!! (And Kirin mount (thank u cantha)

aaaand that’s it I uh... don’t have many people to tag who probably weren’t tagged already so uhhhhh @just-eyris-things​ Im tagging yo ass again? :DDD

[pototters]

Ooh fun!! Honestly, I have similar tastes, I can’t help but love the birb bois, Shinso and Kirishima, though for some reason I also really like Monoma and Tenya too? At least on the boys side, I’m not sure I can pick a favorite for our girlies. Lol, anyways!! That’s really interesting you’ve always had that name, it’s kinda funny since it does tie so closely to Toko, you were meant to find him 😆 can I ask what might have drawn you to those boios in particular, if you know?-Springtime Anon

Omigosh, you're really in it for the long run with these questions! I can get really long winded. Lmao

What drew me to each boi? Oof, here we go~ 🤣

Tokoyami Fumikage

When I first started watching MHA, I'll be honest, i didn't like it. I had to start it a second time, to which i think I attribute to Midoriya. I really don't like Midoriya. 😅

So, when I first met Tokoyami, I was a little weirded out that he had a bird head. I just didn't... understand? Lol, but... then we got to know his character and I was goner. His deep voice, his obsession with the darkness, his manner of speech. I did not give two fucks that he had a bird head; it only made him more... him.

Kirishima Eijirou

Okay, so, I watch MHA in English cuz I hate subtitles with a passion. I always feel like I wind up spending more time reading than watching and wind up missing key scenes.

Because of the anime Yu Yu Hakusho, I have been a huuuuuuge fan of Justin Cook - who voices Kirishima. This is what first allured me to Kirishima. The rest is history. He's the bestest, softest, hard boi ever and he's super manly. And also bby. Bby shark~

Bakugo Katsuki

I, oh, I really didn't like Bakugo, at first. He was an asshole and a bully and I just didn't care for him. He slowly grew on me, though, as I watched his interactions with his classmates and how nearly unfazed they became by his outbursts. Watching him grow as a character has seriously warmed my heart in how much he's learned and changed from the very first episode. He's still angry and he still doesn't always treat everyone the way he should, but he acknowledges that his classmates have what it takes to be heroes and he respects them for each of their individual abilities.

And I also realized what a fine piece of ass he is. 👀

Todoroki Shouto

Ooookay, so Todoroki was hands down my first crush in the show. I'm a sucker for tropes and he falls into... two? Three? The first being the quiet angsty boi. I've always gravitated towards the angsty bois(they're not always quiet) in anime. Always. I've got a track record. Lol

The second and also third? I kinda count them as one, even though they're sorta separate. But they're also not separate. Fire and ice. The two most dominant super powers in... literally everything. Cuz they powerful as fuck. Todoroki has both?? Omigawd, I'm in literal heaven with this. Sexy af. Point blank.

Then the sports festival happens and I'm immediately a mess over this tragic boy's past and I'm a goner. His growth in the series has also been incredible and I enjoy watching him figure things out, or try to, and his simple way of seeing things. However! This does not make him simple! He's actually very complex and I also really enjoy seeing all the things that change and mould him into becoming his own person, rather than the hero machine his father would have him be.

Shinsou Hitoshi

Listen, I always thought that he was just okay. Until I started reading the manga. I won't put any spoilers in here, for the sake of others, but seeing him in that mask... ��🥵🥵

Also, Hirokoshi seems to not pull a single punch when it comes to setting his characters up for angst. Not a damn one of them is without it. And that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Shinsou is another character that falls into the angsty boi trope and, again, I'm a sucker. So, he's got me good.

Hawks

Bird boi. That's literally what drew me to him. Without knowing anything else about this guy, I was done👏🏻for👏🏻

Pure physical attraction to this man and I have no shame. Now that I know a bit about his personality, I've fallen even harder. He's seriously my type. Lmao

Well, sorry for the long reply on this one, but you asked! Hahaha, I seriously could go on forever about any of them.

[pokefanbri]

The evolution of Bri 2020 to this point, in 10 pictures. Was really hard picking 10 to fit in a post lol but theres a noticeable difference from the beginning of the yr & looking at it now I've changed so much for the better 😊 proud of myself for how far ive come, alot less chubby. Im rewinding the clock & going back to the more healthier, punk ass independent Bri 🤣 Let's see what the rest of 2020 has in store #nofilter #weightlossjourney #youngat30

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A post shared by PokéFanBri (@pokefanbri) on Aug 31, 2020 at 6:54pm PDT

My arms need more work 😅 but u can tell with my shoulders, at least my waist shows & 1 could wrap their arms all the way around it now lol. I can probably wear a bikini with more confidence 😊 Whenever a friend sees me for the 1st time they're blown away lmao, I kinda wanna see what would happen if I go to my church & finally see everyone again. Wear nice sun dresses again. Omg the winter sweater dresses, tights, & scarves, winter boots😱 favorite time of the year to look on fleek 😏 miss that.

I have a couple dresses, which one should I use for a date 🤔

The light purple one is from 4ever21 but got it at my store for like 2 bucks, a steal! The other one i got yrs ago at hot topic, a dancing dress probably.

Ive decided im ready to move onto hopefully better things rather than wallow in the past. My last relationships kept me unhealthy & drained me mentally physically & especially emotionally, but ive resulted to focus on numero uno without a guy tearing my heart down, & im building myself back up to what I once was but better. Sick of showing my love when its undeserved & taken for granted. His loss & its a damn shame he didnt care to really know me or appreciate what I give, I just feel my love & caring nature was wasted on him when its what he wanted, its really saddening, im still heartbroken i was played for a fool but im healing. Ive come to terms with whats happened this year, & that ill find someone that will love me for me quirks & all eventually...if covid don't get me 1st or I get into a car crash anyway 😒 with "someone's" recklessness it could happen. Im doing whats best for me, the best I can anyway, still a work in progress always.

My heart goes out to my high maintenance ego ex still though, he helped me in many ways. I realize I deserve better, may not be possible to find someone that measures up to the cute greatness that he is but hopefully ill find a new king that surely has what he lacked & treat me like an equal queen. They won't have nothing on him though, i still like to believe what we had was truly special ❤ & I hope we meet again someday.

Do not avoid your problems, deal with them head on, for growth. Relationships always need work, but you dont know its potential if you just run away b4 love shows itself mutually..just so you don't have to deal with it anymore..who tf does that!? Cause guess what, in every relationship there is love..if one does not have it but demands undeserved affection then they're incapable of loving anyone but themselves. Sorry not sorry. However he did show his, even if he didn't realize it. And you can love someone dearly before actually being officially "in love" you know. But whatever im done with this shit anyway, stop wasting your breath bri 😒 I'm a snac 😂 a great catch, any guy would be lucky to have me, i don't get who wouldn't want me & that pisses me off to no end cuz it just makes me feel played with 😤

Dear Lord bring me peace 🙏 find me the romantic love I need & let us both walk together under you, & wrap us in your love til its time to go ❤ Amen

[theramblingonesie]

Sweet Tooth Sal: Criminal Intent

It started off as just any other Tuesday at the theater. My staff was working hard selling tickets and restocking the merch, the event organizers were running around town dropping off paperwork and making sure our special guests stayed special, and the volunteers were taking the time and care to explain to me that they knew how to do my job. I was busy running my tiny world in stilettos, saving customers’ lives one light switch and one lost pair of glasses at a time.  Our shows were running on time, the theater was clean, and audience members were engaged in lively, thought-provoking discussions.

And then, it happened.  For what some might argue was only a trivial $3.79, my world went black.

*************************************************************************

Being the venue manager at a film festival is pretty cool.  On one hand, it’s very long hours and you basically miss everything. On the other, you have the opportunity to meet some wonderful artists, and feel proud when your work helps to create a safe container to transport audiences into other worlds—worlds of deeper feeling and meaning, worlds of pleasure and escapism, worlds of introspection, connectiveness, and healing.  I know that being middle management is kind of the butt of many elitist jokes, but in this particular position, I really enjoy it.  I have enough autonomy and control that I’m able to have fun with my staff and our environment, encouraging everyone to work hard but also explore their creativity and prioritize their individual needs. At the same time, I have the joy of getting out of customer complaint jail by saying “yeah, that’s a total bummer, but I don’t make the rules. Feel free to chat with my boss, but in the meantime let’s work to make you comfortable.” Or even, “yeah, I ALSO wish we sold beer and wine here. I know, we’re the worst. For what it’s worth, I’m also suffering by being sober.  Enjoy the show!”

*Goes into the back room and pours a glass of Prosecco that my amazing boss brought me*

Even with minor frustrations and moments of stress, the joy and love of the event wash over it all and return me to a space of inner peace and purpose.

Except for one time. That one fateful Tuesday.  Let’s return to our story.

**************************************************************************

As I return to the lobby from testing the microphones, the sea of a buzzing audience parts to show me a gentleman waiting, unattended, at the merch table. I come around the corner to discover that it’s not a customer, but a roaming staff member who has, to this point, caused me a lot of frustration.  Daily, this person has squeezed me out of my office space, and demanded extra tasks and favors that are not only a part of my job description, even though he is not someone who has any authority over me.  I frequently wonder, every time he comes by, why on earth he’s even in the building.  There is another man who carries the same job title, who is ever-lovely and a joy to be around.  But this man, this particular pain in my ass, is just oblivious, to say the least.

We’ll call him Sweet Tooth Sal.  

I come around to the back of the merch table and flatly ask, “Hey Sal. What do you need?”

“Hey Sam! Let me buy one of those chocolate bars!”

“We don’t sell chocolate bars here, Sal. Per usual, we only ever have water.”

“Oh, well shoot. I just ate the chocolate that was in the back room, so I figured I’d just give you a couple bucks to grab another one.”

 See: Flames.

Sentence example: Flames on the side of my face.

 For those of you who don’t know me, let me explain my relationship with chocolate.

Chocolate is sacred.

Chocolate is necessary.

Chocolate is life.

Reece’s is not chocolate.

Hershey’s is not chocolate.

Chocolate costs a minimum of $3.00 per bar.

Chocolate tells me I’m beautiful and holds me when I cry.

Chocolate tells me I’m a boss when I’m stressed at work.

Chocolate is the first to celebrate my successes with me.

Chocolate rescues me when my blood sugar drops from forgetting to eat.

Chocolate is a gift to my friends.

Chocolate is for sharing with people I love.

 CHOCOLATE NEEDS TO BE ASKED FIRST.

 I had purchased three very special chocolate bars to keep in the breakroom for the duration of the festival for all of the above reasons. Said chocolate is only sold at one specific store in the area, so they’re not easily replaced. And of all people, I was not interested in sharing with Sal.

My oscillation between rage and shock happened too quickly for my brain to fully connect with my mouth.

“No, Sal. That was my personal chocolate. It was very special chocolate that you can’t buy here. You can only buy it at (insert health food store name). It’s not cheap.”

“Oh, well, you left it out in the breakroom, so I figured it was for everyone.”

“It’s not for everyone. It’s mine. I had it tucked off to the side.”

“Yeah I was gonna replace it, but since you don’t sell it here, whoops! Sorry!”

What could I do? I was stunned! I know, most of you are reading this like, “I WOULDA PUNCHED HIM IN THA FACE!!!!!!!!!!! I WOULDA SCREAMED AT HIM! I WOULDA MADE HIM DROP TO HIS KNEES AND TURN OVER HIS WALLET!!!!!!!!!! I WOULDA CALLED THE COPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WOULDA CUT HIS TONGUE OUT AND FRAMED IT ON THE WALL AS A WARNING TO ALL THOSE WHO DARE EVER CROSS ME AGAIN, AND THEN DOX HIM ON FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I’m sure you would have.

I, on the other hand, hate confrontation, and offered a mousy, ‘splainy finger-wag as my whole body shook:

“Um…well, Sal…uh, that breakroom is, um, for like, festival theater staff, and it also belongs to the theater’s regular staff year-round, so y’know, we need to be mindful of sharing space, and it’s really…uh it’s nice…you…we all need to ask before we take other people’s food cuz maybe someone brought something that was very special to them or mmm maybe they can’t afford to replace it, but like, it’s just good to ask first cuz yeah…”

 I think I made it as far as “uh, that breakroom is, um” before he turned around and walked away.  The rest of my mumbling was done at his back, and probably continued after he had turned the corner and closed the theater door behind him.

YEAH, GO GET HIM, TIGER. YOU REALLY PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE.

So I did the only thing one in my position could reasonable do.

 I texted all of my friends about it.

 I felt better after speaking with them, as they totally confirmed the rudeness of the situation. I settled comfortably back into my chair and began slowly burning each letter of Sweet Tooth Sal’s name into my dead-to-me list.

The next day, as I was running around doing my usual duties, Sweet Tooth Sal pulled me aside and said, “hey. I’m sorry about yesterday. I got you this”, and he handed me a new chocolate bar. I inspected the bar. It was dark chocolate with espresso. It looked nice. The ingredient list checked out. Again, I was in shock, but I took a deep breath, looked up and said, “thank you, Sal. That’s very kind.”

A new anger bubbled up inside of me. It was strange.  I knew I should have felt relieved, that justice was served, and that it was time to shift into a space of forgiveness.  But for whatever reason, I was almost angrier. I was angry that I couldn’t be angry at STS anymore, and then angry at myself for not being a more enlightened human who could just accept and move on.

I paced. I paced for what seemed like eternity.  I texted my friends again, venting how angry I was about not being allowed to be angry anymore, because he technically did the right thing.  I was bitter. I was bitter that he finally gave me a solid reason to write him off, an obvious offense, and then took it back, putting me back into a place of dealing with the guilt over just generally disliking him.

I sat at my desk stewing and eating the chocolate.  I wondered what was happening inside of me that made me so attached to my anger, and then re-anger upon un-angering.  As I contemplated, STS came back out of the theater and slimed his way behind the merch table and right up next to me.

“Hey Sam. So, heh, a guy buys a girl a chocolate bar to say he’s sorry, and then comes out of a movie to ask if she’ll split it with him. Whaddaya say?”

“Yes.” I replied. “Absolutely; help yourself.”

“Thanks! Yeah I just kinda grabbed this from the other theater. Is it any good?”

“Oh, it’s delicious. Yes.”

My righteous anger returned. I was elated.

STS returned to the movie, and I completed his name on the dead-to-me list. Glowing.

And then I released it.

****************************************************************************

When I tell this story to other folks, I get a mixed reaction. Mainly, due to the purposely absurd delivery, most just get a laugh out of it.  Some see my behavior as cowardly, others understand the depth and layers of my reaction, many a combination of both.

Anger, in the kingdom of emotions, is one of my closest friends and dearest allies. Due to my specific cocktail of mental illness and trauma, I have horrible boundaries.

I am terrified of saying no. Even when I say no, I feel like a bad person and my abandonment fears kick in.

I don’t want to be the loser, the prude, the psycho, the dummy, the weakling, etc. 

I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings or be a disappointment.

I don’t want to be the cause of pain, and I don’t want people to dislike me.

I don’t want people to lash out at me, shame me, or attack my core in a defensive, hostile response to me saying no.

I don’t want to be left out in the future because of the one time I had to say no.

 Does this sound like most women you know?

Anger, in its healthy expression, is simply “no”.  It’s not throwing chairs. It’s not ripping out someone’s heart. Sure, those actions may follow the initial inner anger signal, but that’s not the essence of anger itself. I will repeat this over and over again—

Anger is the signal inside of you that says a violation has occurred and you need to set a boundary.

That could be anywhere from your favorite mug being left out dirty-- “Ugh, boo, no. Hey friend, do you mind just washing my mug after using it? Thank you!”

To finding out your partner has cheated on you-- “FUCK YOU NOOOO. We’re going to therapy.”

To hearing horrors in the news-- “NO, I will not stand for this. I’m registering to vote and donating to those who can help.”

The word “violation” feels big and extreme, yah? It doesn’t have to be that way. Whether it’s a little grr or a big grr, it’s important to know when our bodies are saying, “hm, this doesn’t feel good”, the same way we learn to understand our food cravings.  When we crave a certain food, that doesn’t mean we’re starving and have a nutritional deficiency so low that we need to go to the hospital. It just means, hey, this thing wants our attention so this beautiful machine can stay powered up and healthy. We don’t need to wait until we black out on the floor before changing our diets, just as we don’t need to wait for a heart-breaking tragedy for us to admit we feel hurt, unsafe, or disrespected.

I try to remind myself of this on the regular, because I still struggle with it.  I hold onto my anger for dear life, because it’s the only emotion that helps me to feel safe. As a person with very loose and questionable boundaries, I am very easily manipulated and taken advantage of. I have a talent for attracting people with hidden agendas, control issues, and narcissistic personality traits, as well as being the person that will bring out dirty behavior in people who are otherwise fine around others.  I used to view this from the lens of a person with a strong victim complex.  These days, as I no longer wish to have that be my identity, I recognize how deeply people’s energetic signatures affect us and influence certain behavior, and my role in how what I feel/present will elicit certain behaviors in others.  A frequent conversation I have with friends—

Friend: “Huh, that’s so weird. That person’s never done that to me.”

Me: “Of course they didn’t. Because you have self-esteem/social status.”

For people like me, as we’re navigating the path of being adults and figuring out how to heal ourselves, anger may be our saving grace. As the storyteller in me presents the bit about Sweet Tooth Sal through humor and drama, the human in me knows exactly what was going on in my head at the time.  This man had been behaving in an entitled, arrogant, rude manner for days.  Because I didn’t want to be seen as an oversensitive asshole, nor did I want to create a tense environment (which usually happens whenever I stand up for myself or my friends; also, people get really flipped out when tiny femme-presenting women are assertive) I just kept “letting it go”.  When he pulled this shit with my chocolate, it wasn’t about the chocolate at all. If it were anyone else there, I probably would have laughed and said, “you owe me a drink, you jerk!” Or, “oh please, I’m happy to share. Which one did you try? Isn’t it so good?”

But this man represented everything I hate about fragile masculinity and entitlement.  He was white, middle-aged, a social climber, a misogynist, and pushed my staff and I around as if we revolved around him.  As soon as he gave me a direct, personal reason to dislike him, I took it.  It felt good, because that part of me that was angry every time he was in the building was saying, “thank you for setting this boundary. Now we don’t need to engage with him.”  When he wanted my forgiveness, the part of my mental illness that leaves me easily taken advantage of became activated and scared. My anger jumped up and said, “but we felt safe when you were angry and had to tell him no. If you drop this, he will hurt us again. He’s manipulating you into not holding him accountable for him behavior; please don’t let this slide.”

But then my social conditioning kicked in and shamed me by saying, “y’know, people think you’re a terror and weak-minded for your anger. You’re a joke. Healthy people let things go.  Healthy people don’t cry about everything. If you don’t forgive him, it just means you’re a hateful person who likes discord. No one is going to believe your side, and he’s gonna tell the organizers that you’re a bitch and you’ll never get hired back.”

Conflicted, I just sat there and prayed, as I often do in situations where I feel stuck like this.  I kept saying, “I need to be angry, but I’m so scared to say so because he’ll just attack me and call me crazy. Everyone else will say he’s nice and I’m just creating problems. Please, please universe. I don’t trust that this person will miraculously wake up and stop being a pain in the ass. Please let him show his true colors again so I don’t have to go digging for them to prove a point. JUST GIVE ME A REASON.”

Moments later he did.  So when I laugh about being pleased about regaining permission to be angry, it’s not about being happy that this guy is a jerk.  In an ideal situation, it would have been great if he was never a jerk at all. It was the relief that he did the dirty work to prove my point, and I didn’t need to go through the painful emotional labor to call him out for it.  I was already exhausted from chasing after him all week for going into places that were off limits, throwing his equipment all over my paperwork and computer, tossing about my merch organization, and interrupting me in the middle of my job so I could serve him with something that was 100% his responsibility, only to have him unapologetically puff off and have mini-mantrums every time in response.

“But, but you told him it was fine! That’s a lie, and passive aggressive!”

Yep. You’re right. But with some people, you just have to smile while you hand them the shovel, tell them what a beautiful hole they’ve dug, and then walk away, because you’ll probably never get through to them with reason or vulnerability. And I found that, since I settled in my mind on him being total turd and no longer wrestling with whether or not I was supposed to like him, it was far easier for me to set boundaries for the rest of the week, because I had 0 investment in us getting along.  Whatever special treatment he wanted and wherever he wanted to go that was not accessible, I just smiled and said no.  I didn’t try to excessively explain myself or blame myself for his inconveniences. I just said no, gave him an option or two about how he could find an alternative, and then let him figure it out.

I think this story is important, because a lot of people assume that since I’m directing a project all about women’s anger, then I must be some kind of expert. Some people have called me the Queen of Anger.

I’m not.

More like, Queen of Self-Doubt Who Constantly Questions Her Reality And Just Wishes People Respected Her But Is Too Afraid To Ask For It And Why Can’t They Do It Without Being Told.

I really, really struggle with anger, which is why it’s so fascinating to me.  I’m often either trying to hide it, or exploding when it builds up too much.  By creating The Scarlet Tongue Project, part of my intention is to contribute to developing a world where women who struggle like me, and anyone else who struggles like them, don’t need to be afraid of this emotion anymore, and we can use it authentically to create the brightest, healthiest, loving lives we can.

If something hurts you today, I hope you are able to give yourself permission to be angry and say no.  If you don’t feel ready for that yet, but want to learn more about women who do, you can help out by supporting the Patreon for my film project at https://www.patreon.com/thescarlettongueproject

Thank you for reading!

 https://www.patreon.com/thescarlettongueproject