#a rollicking good time! pleasantly surprised by just how much I enjoyed this; surely one of the best of Hammer's adventure films

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #444

Top Ten PlayStation Games I Hope Get PC Releases

And once again I turn my steely eye to the world of gaming. This time though I’m pulling on my blue jumper and talking about PlayStation (because I guess Xbox would have a green one and Nintendo’s would be red? I dunno, I’m making this up as I go). I’ve said in the past that as much as I like Sony and would love a PlayStation, I’ve never actually owned one myself because I always tend to buy an Xbox first. As much as I love the gaming industry, gaming as a past-time, and games themselves as an art-form, I have a rapidly dwindling supply of free time and unfortunately once I factor in trying to see enough films to maintain polite conversation and staring at my phone for hours on end in order to maximise my ennui, I don’t have an awful lot of minutes left in the day to dive into a wide variety of triple-A titles. As such, because I’m used to the Xbox’s way of working, because I tend to prefer its controllers and its whole ecosystem, and because I love several of their franchises (Halo and Fable especially), it’s always Xbox I gravitate towards, and then I just don’t have enough gaming time left over to justify the expense of a second huge console. And let’s get it out of the way – the PlayStation 5 is huge.

As a result, as time has gone on, there is an ever-growing number of PlayStation exclusives that I’ve barely played. In The Olden Days this was less of a problem, as pre-kids (and, heck, pre-everything considering how old the original PlayStation is at this point) I was able to saunter over to a friend’s house and try out games on their console. In this fashion I sampled a good many PS1 and PS2 titles such as Metal Gear Solid, WipeOut, Resident Evil, Time Splitters, Ico, and my absolute favourite, the original PS2 Transformers game. By the time PS3 rolled around this happened more rarely, but I’d argue it was fairly late in the generation when they showed off any games that really interested me (specifically those from Naughty Dog); and with the PS4, I’ve barely played on one at all, more’s the pity. And I really do mean more’s the pity, because this time around there have been loads of games I wanted; they really have had a better generation than Xbox, even if I couldn’t give up my Halo or Gears, to say nothing of the huge collection of backwards compatible games that get played to death by my kids.

That’s why I’m overjoyed that Sony have finally taken a leaf out of Microsoft’s book and are starting to release some of their bigger games on PC. I’ve been largely laptop-only for about a decade now, but it is a very powerful laptop, even if it’s not dedicated gaming hardware, and I’ve been pleasantly surprised how well it manages to run even quite demanding 3D games such as Assassin’s Creed Odyssey or Gears Tactics (I really must try out Flight Simulator sometime soon). The first big Sony exclusives to drop on Steam are Death Stranding (which looks bonkers but not my cup of tea) and the intriguing Horizon: Zero Dawn, which I’d probably really like. But those were never the Sony games that totally floated my boat; no, there are others, and I would absolutely love it if Sony saw fit to unleash them on Steam in the near future. Hey, I’m not picky; you don’t need to day-and-date it. I don’t mind enjoying a “Part I” whilst PS5 gamers are playing the hot new “Part II”. But I increasingly think be-all-and-end-all exclusives are rather old-fashioned, and whilst I get that there should probably be games tied to specific boxes, the services those box-companies provide should be more universal. That’s why I like Microsoft’s Play Anywhere initiative and the mobile game streaming via xCloud. But this is a Sony list, and these are some very, very good Sony games. I assume. By and large, I haven’t played them.

Marvel’s Spider-Man (2018): I love Rocksteady’s Arkham series of Batman games, but I do find them a bit relentlessly dark and miserable with an oh-so-gritty art style. What could be better, then, than a game that seems to play broadly similar but is nice, bright, funny, and sunny? Spider-Man is the perfect hero for that sort of game, and this looks absolutely like everything I’d ever want from a superhero game. I really, really, hope it comes to PC at some point, but I’ll be honest, I doubt it.

The Last of Us (2013): I like a good third-person action-adventure, whether it’s Gears, Tomb Raider, or Jedi: Fallen Order. TLOU looks most up my street, however, for its story, and its seemingly moving depiction of a family unit forming amidst the end of the world. By all accounts it’s a tear-jerker; I’ve tried to steer clear of the plot. Porting it over to PC whilst the well-received sequel is getting an inevitable PS5 upgrade seems like a good idea.

Uncharted: The Nathan Drake Collection (2015): I’ve very briefly played one of the Uncharteds, but not really; I hear they’re like the Tomb Raider reboot, but better, which seems nice. A rollicking third-person action-adventure with an Indiana Jones spirit? Count me in. With the long-mooted film adaptation finally underway, COVID notwithstanding, it seems like a good time to let PC gamers have a go at the classic saga. I’d add part 4 to the existing trilogy collection before shunting it to Steam.

Shadow of the Colossus (2018): I’ve played Ico a bit so I’m broadly familiar with the tone of these games, but Colossus seems like an even cooler idea. Scaling moving monsters, killing them but feeling guilty, sounds like both a great gameplay mechanic and a moving and evocative theme for a game. Port the recent remake to PC please, Mr. Sony.

Ratchet and Clank (2016): full disclosure: the new PS5 Ratchet game is the only title I’ve seen demoed that really looks next-gen, with its fancy ray-tracing, excessive particle effects, and funky portal-based gameplay. How’s about, then, giving PC gamers a chance to enjoy the relatively-recent remake of the very first game? A bit of cross-promotion works wonders, Sony.

God of War (2018): the old PS3-era God of War games never really appealed, I guess because I’m not always a huge fan of hack-and-slash and they gave off a kind of crazy excessive, almost laddish vibe that I found off-putting (having not played them, I may be being incredibly unfair). The new one, though, sounds like it’s all about being a dad and being sad and remorseful, so count me in.

Wipeout Omega Collection (2017): I’ve always enjoyed arcade racers, but one sub-genre that I don’t think gets enough love is a futuristic racer, especially where you’ve got hover cars (they seemed to be quite popular twenty-odd years ago). I played the original Wipeout on my mate’s OG PlayStation, but I’d love it if us PC gamers could play the whole series. Could it possibly be even better than Star Wars Episode I Racer?

LittleBigPlanet 3 (2014): chances are, if I’d done this list back around the time the first two LittleBigPlanet games were released, they’d have topped the chart. They looked like cool, fun platform games, with a fantastic creative aspect; I bet my kids would love them. With that in mind, I’d be over the moon to see Sackboy take a bow on Steam. I’d have put Dreams on this list, incidentally, except I can’t see myself getting a VR set anytime soon.

The Last Guardian (2016): feels a bit of a cheat having both this and Colossus on the list, but I do want to see what the fuss is about. One of those games infamous for its time in development, it seems to be a love-it-or-hate-it affair, and I am intrigued. Plus I want to know who dies at the end, the boy or the monster.

Killzone Shadow Fall (2013): gaming cliché has it that Nintendo does cutesy platformers, Microsoft does shooters, and Sony does third-person action-adventures; so whilst I’m well-versed in Halo and Gears, I’ve never sampled PlayStation’s key FPS franchise. Famous for its genuinely wowing showcase when the PS4 was announced, I’m not sure how good Shadow Fall actually is (or any of its predecessors for that matter) but I’d be very interested in finding out. Alternatively, give us one of the Resistance games and let me tear around an alternative Manchester or something.

So, there we are; ten games that I think are probably quite good – or even, y’know, masterpieces – but I’ve not had the chance to really sample them yet. And short of me picking up a PlayStation on the cheap, I don’t know when I really can. I mean, I told myself I’d buy a second-hand PS3 and a copy of TLOU once this current generation was in full swing, but that never happened. So throw me a bone, Sony! I still want to buy your stuff! Just sell it somewhere else! Somewhere I already am! Like Steam! Please?!

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #430

Top Ten Disney+ Movies to Rediscover

I am once more returning to the well of Disney+ content, and by extension, Disney as a company – a company I tend to write quite a lot about, especially if we count Star Wars and the MCU. I wonder at this point if I’ve written more about Disney-owned properties than I have about Transformers. Maybe I need to pull out some more Cybertronian lists, just to even the score.

(Note to self: write several lists about the original G1 Transformers comic, as that was published by Marvel, who are now owned by Disney, and thus kill several birds with one listicle stone)

Anyway: Disney+. It’s been on quite a bit in our house, overtaking Netflix as the kids’ viewing platform of choice. As I’m currently attempting a grand MCU re-watch, it’s left to my wife to keep the flag flying for alternative streamers by binging Death in Paradise on the iPlayer. My kids are particularly enjoying the Disney Jr content, which at first pleasantly surprised me, as my eldest seemed to have gravitated towards slightly older fare on Netflix and CBBC (only slightly; stuff like Pokémon, Horrible Histories, and Trollhunters), so it’s nice that she’s still enjoying being a little kid for a while. However, whilst shows like Vampirina, Sofia the First, Elana of Avalor, and The Lion Guard all have their qualities, as a wall of background noise they can begin to grate after a month or two. As such, I’d like to use Disney+ to edumacate my kids whilst also revelling in nostalgia. And I’m going to do this via the medium of older kids’ movies.

Yes, Disney+ is a treasure trove of classic kids’ flicks. Many, many movies from my childhood and beyond are there to be rediscovered. And in many (most) cases, these are films I’ve not seen for decades. Decades! And there is the rub: are they any good? Because let me assure you, children are not always the best arbiter of taste. Sure, they can enjoy something plenty when they’re young; maybe it’s even genuinely good on some small level if you’re small and not particularly inquisitive. But we’re starting to expect a little more sophistication from our children’s content. Look at shows like Steven Universe or She-Ra, or movies as diverse as Inside Out or even Smallfoot (seriously, check it out; it’s got its flaws but it’s essentially about a society using religion to keep its populace ignorant). Going back to the basic morality and surface-level humour of an ’80s cartoon might be a serious step-change, even if we’re lucky and there’s no unfortunate racism or sexism.

As such, it is with a degree of trepidation that I begin to approach the Disney+ back catalogue; however, that trepidation in itself also leads to excitement. What riches will we uncover? Will we love the films as much as we once did? Am I gambling big on Rick Moranis standing the test of time? Will talking animal movies resonate if the animals are actual animals and not CGI? And how young is too young to be traumatised by a dead dog?

These and many more are the questions that will be going through my head as I force my two small children and beleaguered wife to sit down and watch a bunch of films that I once saw on VHS whilst holding a Real Ghostbuster in one hand and a copy of the Muppet Babies comic in the other.

Honey I Shrunk the Kids (1989): a rollicking adventure movie starring kids, taking place in a backyard, but it’s also a fantastical jungle of immense proportions. I remember this as being an incredible effects-fest, so it’ll be interesting to see if it maintains that level of wonder thirty years on. My kids loved Dora and the Lost City of Gold, so we’ll see how this holds up.

Willow (1987): an epic fantasy quest movie with an incredibly empathetic lead, I loved this film as a kid, and I’m glad it’s maintained a cult following (isn’t there a sequel series due?). But is it fun and interesting enough? I seem to remember – even back then – being aware that it wasn’t well-received. My kids like fairy-princess style fantasy, but will something more swords-and-sorcery hold their interest?

Cool Runnings (1993): so I’d have been about 12 when I saw this, quite a bit older than my two; but I loved it and thought it was hilarious. I hope it still is; I hope its gentle racial politics don’t seem cringy nowadays. I do wonder if a more-or-less straight sports movie will keep my kids enthralled, however.

Hocus Pocus (1993): I loved this, and so did my younger bro, who was exactly the right age to enjoy it in the ’90s. It’s got kids, it’s got witches, it’s really funny, it’s got an unkillable talking cat; I’m sure there’s enough to still love. I really think my eldest will adore it, but maybe the youngest is a bit too young.

Turner & Hooch (1989): a video rental staple in my house growing up (and then one of those films taped off the telly that I kept re-watching); largely responsible for my love of Tom Hanks. I am certain this holds up, absolutely certain. But will it skew a bit too old? Will they care about a dog that doesn’t talk? And – spoiler alert – will the ending not just completely fuck them the shit up? That’s my biggest worry, to be honest.

Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey (1993): another one that my bro loved, I seem to remember renting this and us both thoroughly enjoying it, him being basically an infant at the time. Whether it’s actually any good or not I don’t know; is it teeth-gnashingly sentimental? But more importantly, will kids weaned on the elaborate talking animal-ness of, say, The Lion King and Lady and the Tramp remakes buy into early-90s shaggy dog CG?

Splash (1984): another film where I’m fairly sure it will have stood the test of time, but one where I remember virtually zilch. Will my kids care about its romantic plot? Will they be disappointed it’s not full-on mermaid action? Will they be outraged at the digital censoring of an innocent butt shot?

Return to Oz (1985): I knew this film before I knew The Wizard of Oz was a thing, and I adored it; another serial rental. I have a feeling it’ll probably stand the test of time, even if its glorious edges may have been chipped away. But I also remember it being thoroughly, uncompromisingly creepy. Will the Wheelers and “the queen with a hundred heads” (to quote Scissor Sisters) haunt their nightmares? Is Oz, quite frankly, too odd?

Mrs Doubtfire (1993): this is definitely the film I remember best, and also the one I’ll have seen most recently; although even that is probably late-nineties. I remember it most for its rapid-fire Robin Williams wordplay, and I’m sure in that respect it holds up, even if its plot may get sappy. I think the cross-dressing farce and physical comedy will appeal to my nippers, and I hope the filthy dialogue (“She’s got a power tool in the bedroom, dear”) goes entirely over their heads.

The Rocketeer (1991): okay, full disclosure: this one’s a cheat. I don’t think I’ve ever seen The Rocketeer; if I have, I don’t remember it at all. And this is supposed to be a list of films I’m re-discovering! But what the hell, let’s go all-in on a brand new film that’s 29 years old. I’m hoping its old-fashioned adventurism and derring-do resonates, and gives us a fun film we’ll all enjoy. And – hey! – maybe it’ll be a gateway drug to both Raiders of the Lost Ark and Captain America: The First Avenger!

So there we are: ten films (okay, nine) that I’ve seen and want to see again but this time with small people nearby. I will do my best to keep you, my adoring public, informed as to whether the kids think they’re hits or misses. And sorry for swearing up there. Oh, and here’s another fun fact: did you know they remade Freaky Friday again? Yes! In 2018! It looks like it’s a made-for-TV musical. It’s a bit of a shame that it’s not got the star wattage of both previous versions though. I’d like to see them spend a bit of cash and do one with, oooh, Winona Ryder as the mum and Millie Bobby Brown as the kid, just to keep things all Stranger Things-y (let’s face it, that could actually be a plot in Stranger Things 4).