#a lot of my headcanons have changed about ryoji over the years so i thought i'd explore a few here... of course i may

[moonrecalled]

Ryoji still has so much he wants to learn.

What does it mean, to live? Why do people carry on? From the moment he was born as 'Mochizuki Ryoji', he had always been bursting with curiosity about every aspect of the world. The desire to experience life had overflowed from within him in everything he did...

Maybe he was naive, back then. Now, he understands more things - the pain of death, and the fear of losing what one has. But SEES... and especially him... they'd all managed to face those things, and move forward anyway. And he can't help but wonder - how do they do it? Jealousy was once an alien emotion to him, and he can't say it's exactly what he's feeling now, but maybe it's something close.

Ryoji shouldn't be alive to begin with, unlike them. The sole meaning of his existence is to bring death to this world, to everyone without distinction, whether they want it or not. And... many do seek death. Nyx wouldn't be drawn to this world to begin with if they didn't. When so many people suffer - how do some have the strength to deal with that suffering, and to face the things that hurt them even when their time in this world is limited?

He wants to understand. But he doesn't even know how or why he's alive - and that terrifies him.

"Oh... I'm sorry for staring." Ryoji suddenly smiles as he realizes he's caught someone's attention. He doesn't go around asking every pretty girl he sees on a date, nowadays, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to... regardless, after a moment, his brows furrow as if he's deep in thought.

"I just feel like I've seen you somewhere before... on TV, maybe?"

@shellofdenial