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prettywordsyouleft · 5 years ago

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Existence - Part 1

Summary: After his death, Sungjin had no idea why he was bound to the manor house but meeting Pearl gave him a reason to exist.

Pairing: Park Sungjin x OC, featuring reader & Day6

World: Spiritual Connection

Genre: ghost au / slow burn / romance / angst

Warnings: death

A/N: Welcome to Existence, a spinoff from Spiritual Connection. When I wrote the Brian/Day6 series, Sungjin’s moment with Y/N was actually unplanned from the original outline but it’s one of my favourite parts in the story. A lot of you also agreed and wanted to explore more of what got him to that point. So did I, and so here we are!

Since Pearl was established as a character in the series, I’ve chosen to write her instead of making her a reader insert. This story is also covering from the late 1800s to present time, so there was a lot to fit in, hence why it’s broken into two parts.

Word count: 3886

Index: 1 | 2 | Spiritual Connection

He never thought existing would be so difficult. After all, Sungjin had lived in this world for twenty-five years before he had died.

And in those twenty-five years, he had learned a lot about survival. The Industrial Revolution had made advances to those living after its time, and most noblemen were now focused on living a life of pleasure, parties and prestige.

Not that he had been destined to such a lifestyle.

He was by no means stricken by poverty, working the vast fields and gardens around a large estate was no easy task. Getting recognised for the sculpting he could do of the land meant he had no worries of where his next meal came from. And the Duke who owned the land he groomed meticulously had even gone as far as to build him and his team their own home. It held a grand neo-gothic facade on the outside, showing wealth and power to all those who saw it. On the inside, well, it was merely functional.

And that had been all Sungjin had ever wished for.

As he stared around the house he now sat within, he wondered why he had cherished this place like no either. Its walls enclosed on him and his misery a little bit more by the day. It made no sense to him, to any of them. The four others who had died along with him in the great fire of the main house were all that remained. Where was everyone else? He had woken to find chaos, smoke and ruin all around. His master was gone and left a widow and three children behind. The majority of the fire he had been attempting to put out was now smouldering ash on the ground.

All that was left was the godforsaken tower home, and no power, prestige or pleasure would come from being stuck in it.

It took what seemed like decades before someone searched for more than cobwebs in their home. In reality, it had only been two years and the land that once was owned by the Duke of the county now had been sold, gifted and divided between many. The portion that was on the hillside closest to the sea had been sold to a small family, so Brian had heard when he was outside working in the gardens out of habit. Sungjin couldn’t face the outside world since passing into the afterlife; not that being indoors did much for him either. But he was fascinated by the changes that started to occur to his little home. The family had big ideas to build on several extensions that would make his functional little tower home into a grand manor by the sea.

And through this process, the walls extended out around him.

“Look, they’re adding on another wing!” Wonpil enthused, the sound of construction pounding from dawn to dusk.

It was rather impressive when they were done, the two bedroom turret tower now a vast, seven bedroom home with multiple day rooms, a study, large kitchen, dining and amenities that would ease the lives of those who would inhabit it. Even his friends were thrilled with the extension of their home, spreading throughout the building and no longer stuck in the same spot. Sungjin had chosen a ground level bedroom to spend his days within. It held a great view of the sea and sky from facing the cliffside and brought him some peace in this confusing overstay on Earth.

The puzzle of why he and his friends remained stuck on this land, as protectors of their home, still eluded him. Acceptance had arrived, as did the new residents.

They were loud people.

From parties to arguments, all this family could do was shrill from the top of their lungs. It had felt promising to have his home grander than ever. Now, he hoped for the simplicity to come back.

It was incredibly frustrating to simply exist in a place that was no longer his.

Still, nothing he or his friends came up with worked.

“I once read we should see a light come forth.”

“Candlelight?” Dowoon asked, pointing to what was illuminating the drawing room they were in. Jae smacked his friend around the head and groaned.

“No, an actual light. Maybe a tunnel and we get to walk through it.”

“Where does it lead to?” Wonpil wondered and Brian shrugged.

“Perhaps it’s towards paradise.”

“Jae, the book you were reading was the Bible and the light would lead us to salvation,” Sungjin announced, sighing heavily.

“Are we the damned then?”

“We only did our best to help our master until the explosion,” Wonpil mentioned with a pout and everyone fell silent.

And then Jae stood up, shaking his head before fetching his guitar from the corner of the room. His tune was troubled, much like their hearts were.

This sombre mood travelled into the new century where the manor house saw several owners come and go. The loud family came into money and moved to bigger prospects. The next fell into ruin and the house went into possession of the bank.

Sungjin watched grandeur enter and leave in an endless cycle until new money arrived in the late 1930s. A family with three children, though only giggles filled the home this time. He was enamoured by the way the light seemed to shine brighter in the manor house. It transformed, carrying a spirit from the past and meshing with the new with every pass of Ring around the Rosie played in the grand entrance.

It was a year later when everything changed.

“Won’t you play with me?” the youngest asked, doors opening and closing as she searched for her siblings.

“Jacob, Ruby, where are you?!” she called out desperately, opening the door to the downstairs bedroom that was now a guest room. She stepped inside, climbing up onto the large bed with a huff, cursing under her breath about being left behind yet again.

Sungjin lifted his focus from the book he was reading and chuckled at her disposition, deciding the youngest child of the family was definitely the most spirited.

“Who are you?” she suddenly wondered aloud and Sungjin looked up again to see who she was talking to. Staring right at him, he blinked, closing the book slowly and then pointed to himself. “Yes, you. I have never seen you before.”

“You can see me?” he tentatively questioned and with all innocence, she bounced her head up and down. Sungjin was amazed. “Really, you can see me?”

“Can you not see yourself?” she replied with a giggle, pointing to the mirror across from him. He smiled sadly and shrugged. Hesitance now gone, the little girl approached Sungjin and sat down across from him. “Do you have a name? Mine is Pearl. I’m the youngest lady of this house.”

Sungjin grinned. “The youngest lady?”

“Of course, don’t you see how much I’m growing? Why, I will be eight this summer!”

“Eight is a mighty fine age to be,” he told her and she grinned, giggling once again. “And my name is Sungjin.”

“Sungjin,” Pearl repeated, smiling as she liked how it rolled off her tongue. “Sungjin, do you know of a game to play?”

“A game?”

Pearl nodded again, leaning forward in earnest. What games did children enjoy these days? He was so out of touch with the world by now. Only one came to mind. “Hide and seek.”

“Will you play it with me? My brother says I’m too annoying to mind and my sister is learning a new skill. They say it will give her marrying prospects. Yuck! Imagine marrying because you can sew well.”

Sungjin chuckled at her open disdain. “Sewing will be a handy skill to have.”

“Can you sew?”

“Some.”

“Then I need not worry about it all. Shall we play now? Oh please, I wish to have fun again now that everyone else is boring and growing up.”

She reached out for his hand then, startling Sungjin at her ability to touch him as if he were among the living.

It was then that he found a purpose for his existence. Although he didn’t need to, he took in a deep breath, renewed by Pearl’s discovery.

And his own.

For years, Pearl enjoyed running around the house calling out to her friends. She would beg Brian for one more game and Sungjin to help her hide. She would always give herself away by giggling, perhaps too excited to have the turn to find her friends instead.

It worried the adults within the home.

“Pearl, you need to go out today.”

“But why mama, Sungjin and I-”

“My dear, I have no idea who your friend is that you talk of but it’s time for you to meet others to play with. Bring home friends from school, won’t you?”

“None of them want to play hide and seek though. They say at age twelve we shouldn’t run amuck as I do.”

“Perhaps they’re right,” her mother agreed, straightening out the collar to Pearl’s coat she had fastened her into.

The young girl glanced up at the five men watching on, Wonpil gesturing with his hands to go out and play. It took a little more convincing, but eventually, Pearl left with her mother to run errands.

“Well, it’s a good thing, right? I mean, how many places can we hide in now? She knows of them all,” Jae surmised, scratching the back of his head.

“I like when she giggles, it’s so easy to find her.”

“Or when she catches us as if it’s the greatest achievement of her life,” Brian added on to Dowoon’s statement, and Sungjin smiled fondly, eyes travelling to the front door.

“She needs to discover the world out there though, playing with us every day won’t be something Pearl can continue doing for much longer.”

He had been right. Pearl managed to make new friends, though it perplexed her whenever they came over to the house. “She said I was fibbing! Me, a liar?! I would never do such a thing!”

“Well, it’s not as if you can show your friend evidence, Pearl.”

“Sungjin, my reputation is on the line here. If Harriet goes back to school and proclaims I see spirits to everyone, will anyone sit with me at lunchtime? What will I do if I get picked last in class for teamed events? This is rubbish!”

“You sound awfully a lot like Jae these days,” he mused, turning back to his book.

“And you remind me of a bear. Are you hibernating? Where is your energy? I thought we would play today!”

“Don’t you have sewing to learn for the next hour?”

“I sew well enough, thank you.”

“Piano then.”

“Surely we can go a day without hearing me fumble through classical music that my short fingers have no part in playing.”

Sungjin grinned at her stubbornness. “Cooking?”

“We have Mary for that, and she’s as fit as a fiddle. Any more excuses? How about poetry? I had a session yesterday with Brian. Gardening? You showed me how to prune a rose bush last week. What else would a young lady of my status need? Ah yes, exercise. Now come!”

“Fussy little thing!”

“I will hold you accountable if you continue to sour my mood, Sungjin!”

They played all afternoon long and heard the scolding Pearl received for acting like a child over dinner. Throwing herself through the guest bedroom door, she came in and dashed right over to where he sat on the floor, diving into his arms.

“I don’t want to grow up. I don’t wish to let go of all of this. They tell me I am going mad, that I made you all up. Maybe I am mad! But to me you’re real.”

“We once were,” he reminded softly, stroking Pearl’s hair. “But now, maybe they are right. I don’t want you to miss out on any opportunities for a good life, Pearl.”

“And I won’t if I remain your friend, will I?”

“You might.”

“I won’t,” she concluded, though an air of uncertainty followed. “Hopefully, I won’t.”

The next morning, Pearl had a new resolve. She ignored Wonpil’s morning greeting. She side-stepped around Dowoon who came to hug her. As she dressed and readied herself for school, Pearl was cold, as if something had come into her body overnight and removed her remaining childlike spirit.

Pearl was the very image of a young lady ascending into puberty over the next three months.

No longer did she learn poetry with Brian at all, and focused on improving her piano skills. Her cross stitch was excellent and cooking ability grew greatly. With all the years of playing, she had somewhat neglected the normal growth around her. And so in those three months, she worked herself day in and out to prove something of herself that Sungjin couldn’t quite figure out.

It made her burn out completely.

Jumping when the door opened in the middle of the night, Sungjin looked up from the bed he laid upon, seeing what appeared to be a ghost in the doorway. Blinking, he realised it was Pearl, her eyes searching slowly around the room. When they connected with his, she started to move, running the distance from the door to the bed, diving into his embrace.

“I can’t do it!” she wailed, echoing around the room. “I don’t want to forget you! How can I? When you are all that brings me joy!”

“It’s okay,” he soothed, running his hand over her back gently. “Calm down, you can be who you want to be.”

“You mean that?” she asked as she pulled back and Sungjin nodded, wiping away the tear-stains on her cheeks. She grinned then, diving back into hug him again tightly. “Promise me you won’t ever leave me.”

“I’m bound to this house, where would I go?”

“You know what I mean, promise me. I can’t live another day without you, Sungjin. Without you all. Please, please don’t let me go.”

Staring at her as she shifted back in his arms again, Sungjin searched her face. If only Pearl knew just how much she has changed everything. Because of her, he no longer just existed. He would do anything she asked of him in a heartbeat. Nodding firmly, he watched as her anxiety eased. “Of course, I won’t leave you. I promise.”

The next morning, there was a lot more bustle on the ground floor bedroom of the estate.

Sungjin rubbed the back of his head as he watched his sanctuary transform. From guest room to feminine touches, Pearl dictated all that happened in here. The only thing that remained was the large bed that he had laid upon every night since Pearl’s family had moved in.

And now, he had a roommate.

“Care to tell me why my space is now yours?” he asked as Pearl returned after dinner, smiling happily before diving onto the bed. His simple blankets were gone and replaced by Pearl’s lush covers. He had to admit they would feel comfortable had he been truly able to feel them.

Since dying, some of his senses had faded over time. Others had intensified. Whilst taste and touch had dulled, his experience of his emotions overwhelmed him.

And right now he was feeling a lot of contempt.

Pearl waved him off excitedly. “This is our space.”

“Ours? Pearl, you’re thirteen. I’m a grown man. I will not share this room with you. It’s unacceptable.”

“You promised!” she whined and stopped his rash movement towards the exit. Watching out of the corner of his eye as she scrambled towards the edge of the bed, Sungjin sighed at her desperation. Turning to face her, Pearl clasped her hands to her chest. “You said you wouldn’t leave me.”

“And you decided last night that meant you would suffocate me?”

“How is this suffocating? We never have any problems spending all day together. When I’m not in school, we often spend from when I rise to when I close my eyes doing just that. How is this any different?”

He wanted to say many things. It wasn’t that she was wrong; he had no problem with spending his time with Pearl, or any of his friends. His years of forced solitude were long over. However, there was no denying that Pearl was growing up. She would need her space to deal with tasks that were far from his comprehension. He had once had an older sister, and whilst they had been close, he had not been privy to her personal experiences through the changes of adolescence. Sure, Pearl had a lot of growing up to do, and right now she wasn’t actively in the throes of it. But this had been his space for as long as the room had existed. He was disgruntled that he would have to give it up for her privacy when the time came.

Pearl’s face contorted and soon she was giggling loudly, rolling about the bed. “Are you… are you shy of a woman’s body?!”

“I wouldn’t be going around calling yourself a woman just yet, Pearl,” he muttered, spinning away from her again. Before he could leave, she had dashed across the room and hugged him from behind. His insides surged and he felt confused as to why he was so delighted by the embrace. “You should be more practical.”

“Sungjin, I’m not going to change my mind even when I’m old and grey.”

“About?”

Swinging around his waist so she was now in front of him, Pearl smiled up at him. “Ever since I met you, I’ve always thought you were the man of my dreams.”

“I am nothing of the sort, for one, I’m dead. And you met me when you were seven. How would a child be sure of anything that young?”

“I’m certain I’ll never meet someone as wonderful as you are in my time,” she stated and Sungjin began to feel faint from all the concern whizzing around inside of him. Shaking his head, he pushed her off.

“I am like a brother; see me no further than that.”

“Wait until I change into a fine woman, then you’ll have problems maintaining that stance,” Pearl told him with a huff, stomping back to her bed.

His bed.

Sungjin groaned, rubbing at his face before retreating to the new armchair in the corner.

“Are you not coming to bed?”

“It’s either this chair or I leave the room,” he announced darkly and Pearl nodded from within her bedding.

“Very well then, I’ll endeavour to make your space more comfortable for you over the next week.”

And that she had. Pearl spent the winter break sewing a quilted blanket that now rest on the chair for him to use at night. She ensured a small table was placed beside it for him to put his glasses and book upon each night, and had even placed a photo frame of herself there.

Over the next four years, she changed out the photo regularly. Because, as she had once stated, Pearl did grow into a fine woman.

Swirling around in her navy polka dot dress, Pearl laughed with delight. “Your face right now.”

“I said nothing.”

“You didn’t have to,” she mused, walking to his side. Glancing up at him with eyes alive, Pearl’s smile grew. “You think I look divine, don’t you?”

“It suits you,” he commented dryly, darting his eyes away unsuccessfully. At age seventeen, Pearl was dynamic. And incredibly aware that he often had to swallow back sinful thoughts that had grown over time. He disliked that he had fallen trap to her charms, and yet, looking back over the past ten years, he wondered if there was ever a point where he hadn’t been captivated by her.

“Merely suits me?” she wondered with another laugh, reaching out for one of his hands and tugging on it. He didn’t budge and she grumbled. “Surely, you have more to say than that.”

“It will turn heads at the dance tonight. There, is that satisfactory?” he offered and Pearl pursed her plump crimson lips together, offended he still hadn’t spoken the words that she could see within his warm eyes.

That she was beautiful. The most attractive woman he had ever seen in all of his years, dead or alive.

Her hand was still holding his and she stepped closer, looking up at him, now recovered from her annoyance. “I wish you could be my escort.”

“Don’t be foolish.”

“I know you would dance with me,” she continued and Sungjin chuckled.

“As will many others.”

“Won’t you dance with me?” she murmured, slipping a hand to his waist. He shook his head and pulled away, her touch now burning him down to the soul.

“Go dance with the eligible men and tell me about it in the morning. Goodnight, Pearl.”

He ignored her until she left with an outlandish whine, and whilst he waited at the window for her return all night long, by the time she had made it up the front of the house stairs and into her room, he had feigned slumber within his chair.

“Sungjin, I know you to be awake. You told me yourself, ghosts do not need to sleep, eat or drink.”

He shifted in his chair, angling himself away from her.

Hearing enclosing footsteps, he soon felt her weight across his lap, hands reaching for his face. Sungjin looked at her within the moonlight, enamoured by the young woman before him. Pearl had let down her hair, loose waves framing her face. With the guidance of the natural lighting, he was able to take in everything upon her face.

She was staring at him with a look within her eyes that spoke a thousand words.

He couldn’t avoid her now, even if he wanted to.

“Won’t you dance with me?”

“Aren’t you tired from doing so?” he murmured back and she shook her head, waves of blonde crashing against her face as she did so. He reached out for her cheek and Pearl instantly nuzzled his hand.

There was no return now.

“One dance,” he agreed, helping her stand before joining her at the space by the large window. With the moon guiding their steps, they danced for what felt like forever. Bodies soon drifting together, flush with one another’s clothing.

“I love you, Sungjin,” she whispered as she gazed at him and smiled. Before he could respond, she stretched up and placed those crimson kissable lips he had marvelled over earlier in the evening upon his.

Taste and touch returned, and colour truly morphed around him. As he kissed her back, slow and exploring, Sungjin believed his heart jolted. Somehow the dormant way it laid within his chest now jerked, attempting to beat once more. It was the closest he would get to feeling alive again.

“I love you too,” he told her when his lips separated from her, adoring the dishevelment he had caused. Pearl grinned, pulling him back towards her bed.

“I just want to sleep in your arms tonight, can you grant me that?”

Sungjin nodded, his surprise over her brazen move now easing. “I’ll do anything you ask of me.”

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thesimplyluxuriouslife · 4 years ago

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298: 28 Ways to Simplify Your Entire Life

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak." —Hans Hofmann

Simplifying.

Far different from minimizing, simplifying requires that we consciously explore what is of value in our lives and then thoughtfully edit in order for what we deem most important to shine as fully as possible.

Take for example sight. Eyesight that is. As someone who wears contacts in order to see clearly objects in far distances, when I put on a dirty lens or my lens happens to have an eyelash or spot of makeup on it, not only does it hurt, but frustratingly my eyesight is impaired. My #1 priority is to clean the lens properly in order to see. Why? Understandably, so that I can clearly, safely, peacefully, go about my day without having to actually think about the gift that is 20/20 eyesight.

Such a truth comes into play with our everyday routines, homes, and overall lifestyles. If we don't clear the clutter - literal and figurative - the quality of our lives decreases. What we love, what we value cannot grow, shine, fully blossom. Whatever the analogy is, the full growth, the full maturation, can't possibly be experienced.

Multitasking our lives not only when it comes to the tasks we do each day, has become an approach to living in the 21st century (and was as well in the late 20th century) which was applauded. In many ways 2020 has forced us to recognize how much we missed in doing so - we missed our relationships, we missed simple pleasures, we missed the gift of appreciating well-made, seasonal food, we missed the gift of truly connecting. Now that so much of what we thought we valued but did not prioritized has been forcibly taken out of our lives, are we questioning whether we lived in accordance to what we swore was true to living well.

Let's talk about clutter. What is defined as clutter for you may be different from what someone else may define or label as clutter. My kitchen for example has many tools handy, surrounding my stovetop - canisters, pots hanging, salt and spices within arms-length. For someone else, such a sight may be exhausting to the eye and look terribly cluttered when viewing my kitchen. Organizing my kitchen in such a way makes my cooking fluid, more enjoyable and simple, but that may not be the case for someone else.

More figuratively speaking, how much time with our own and only company we need will depend upon not only our temperaments but as well where we are along our life's journey. There are times in my life where I have needed far more time alone than others, and I am thankful I finally was able to find it as I needed to figure certain things out, things that I didn't even know I needed to sort through. However, once we learn the direction we want to travel, the skills we want to improve or learn, we may reduce the time alone, but I would argue, as you will see in the list today, we will always need regular alone time or as it is often described - solitude.

Since the inception of TSLL blog, simplicity has been a fundamental component of living simply luxuriously. In order to choose well, in order to invest wisely, we first need to know what is of value to each of us, and the only way to do that is to simplify our lives. (View a list of posts focused on simplifying here and here and be sure to check out TSLL's 1st and 2nd book which have specific sections focused on simplifying in a variety of areas of your life.)

Upon recently rereading Carl Phillips' book 22 Ways to Simpler Living and a couple of other books which help me to assess how simplified I have kept my life or where I need to check-in and adjust or make improvements, I was inspired to make a list to serve as a refresher. I have a feeling each reader/listener stopping by today's post has simplified their lives in some way at some point if not multiple times throughout their lives, so today's post is a check-in so to speak. An opportunity to ensure we are each truly living a simple life for ourselves so we can then live truly simply luxuriously and find true contentment in our everydays. Let's take a look at the list.

~Tune in to the audio version for more conversation about each of the following points shared below.

1.Leave space in your day

Less work time, yet more efficient and productive work time leads to more fulfillment in your lifetime.

2. Absorb the truth that less is often more

3. Limit the time you spend in or with your inbox

write rules

streamline folders

make the view format easy to navigate

make it easy to see how many emails you have to motivate you to keep your inbox tidy

4. Have a courageous conversation about the truth behind the statement "I don't have time." aka "I'm too busy."

Instead of leading others to believe you want to say 'yes' when it is clear another priority supersedes the opportunity presented, let them get to know you and if you don't like this prioritizing of your life, have an honest conversation with yourself and make the necessary changes.

5. Understand what 'self-full' is and refrain from seeing honoring your journey as 'selfish' because it is not.

6. Stop trying to keep up with life and start living your one and only life

7. Be honest about what you allow into your life as a distraction from living fully

(which includes being vulnerable, be truly loving toward yourself and others, being truly content in your everydays, feeling an undercurrent of calm in your life which keeps you grounded and at peace with life's unknowns which reduces the worry)

8. Live a life that doesn't exhaust you, rather a life that energizes you

9. Give permission to yourself for your hobbies and passions to be priorities

It is within your hobbies and passions that we are honoring our gifts and fueling our spirit so that we might share our unique gifts with the world - either directly as we emanate joy affecting those we love or the larger world.

10. Keep good health of body and mind

11. Stop the hurry

If you find yourself hurrying, access and edit. Carl Phillips suggests asking yourself these two questions: (1) Is what I am 'hurrying about for' important to me (or the approval of someone/something else)? (2) Is the hurrying getting me closer to my goals?

12. Check your email less frequently, but more regularly

Set boundaries on your attention and time. You will reduce worry, you will communicate clearly and set expectations which do not overwhelm your life and increase your stress. In many ways you will reduce not only the stress in your life, but the stress of those trying to communicate with you as there will be clear expectations of when they will hear from you.

13. Book-end your days with walks

Long or short, go outside, take in the fresh air as it will clear your mind, help in ways you may not expect, even if you think it cannot as it brings you to the present. One foot in front of the other, just walk. Walk to work it out and calm your mind.

14. Find time to meditate daily

Sometimes meditation and praying are mentioned as alternatives to each other; however, I would argue they do separate things as they are two separate actions. Meditation is an observance of our thoughts, a stepping away from our thoughts (not stopping thinking) and letting them be without our engagement with them. Praying, based on the religious practice (should you practice one religious ideology and it is absolutely okay not to), will be unique to what you believe and is often a conversation with the higher entity. Meditation is not a conversation, but an observation. A practice of exercising the mind so that we are the master of it, not the other way around. A way to calm down, a way to let go, a way to find peace and get out of our own way.

15. Play regularly

For me, gardening has become my favorite act of play during nine months of the year (and in the winter months when I am sowing seeds in my potting area indoors). Diving into a creative project or playing with my dogs - fetch or chase or anything that brings a bounce to their steps.

16. Rest and be still

Active rest or deliberate rest as shared in detail in episode #139 is similar to #15 - playing, thus letting the mind go and not constricting or limiting where it want to go. Literal rest - a nap, not having plans and just being, taking a getaway where you aren't a tourist, but rather a traveler or lounger is a must.

17. Teach others how to treat you by modeling

When you respect your time by protecting your time without apology regarding when you are available and don't bend like Gumby to work with their schedule, you are modeling. It is when you do say yes that those who observe your practice will understand you value them, and they are more likely to respect showing up as planned.

18. Understand what tension is and when it is helpful and when it is hurtful

Good tension: when you are growing, learning something new, stretching yourself by making change or changing because you need to change to meet your goals

Bad tension: when you won't allow yourself to be who you are and instead are trying to fit into someone else's or society's box of what they want you to be

19. Turn away from the outside regularly to gain grounding

20. Savor regular small pleasures, aka Petit Plaisirs

Explore a four-part series full of more than 100 Petit Plaisir - begin with part one here.

21. Donate all the extra and unnecessary tools - exercise, cooking, technology

If you know the true mechanisms of good cooking, effective and life-long lasting fitness and how a tech device works best, fewer, not more tools and devices are necessary. Learn and eliminate.

22. Reduce your overhead

What does it cost to run your life? Whether in business or in your personal life, what is needed for a life of contentment? Most likely, to return us to #1, less is needed for a more fulfilling life. The few things you need simply need to be quality - both in make and design as well as thoughtful selection to fit well with what you know about yourself.

Go through your bills, subscriptions, regular payments. Exam how you actually use (or if you use) what you pay for. When you reduce the overhead, you clear space which gives you more choice and therefore more freedom and peace. You don't have to make more, you need to live below your means. We know this truth unconsciously, but we also need to live it.

23. Keep what works well and eliminate the mediocre

When it comes to skincare, clothing, tools and other items, be honest, invest in the best you can afford and let go of the rest. Quality over quantity - put it into daily practice.

24. Regular solitude

In episode #91 - The Power of Solitude

25. Streamline incoming information sources

Edit the podcasts you have subscribed to so you can find the ones you want to listen to each time a new one is published, be honest about the news that is informative and helpful and inspiring, similarly the blogs and online sources if you have signed up for their newsletters, do you read it when it arrives or does it immediately get deleted or passed over?. What television programs and streaming services do you actually watch?

26. Identify false needs

The Simplicable blog aptly defines a false need as "a theory that societies create to keep a population in a state of toil, distraction and complacency. [False needs] are typically abstractions that are built on top of real human needs and sold with media and groupthink." Examples of false needs - attaining a certain social status, acquiring certain material items - as small as a certain pair of glasses, to something as large as a house; competition and the need to 'beat' someone in order to feel what you have gained is of value; recognition and rewards.

Understanding to the core what false needs are is not easy, and requires each of us to be excruciatingly honest about what we actually need. I have been thinking about this idea quite a bit lately, and come to discovering some liberating ahas. I have a feeling you will as well.

27. Celebrate rather than compete with others regarding life's journey

A secure individual — secure in their life journey, comfortable with the uncertainties of life, confident they will be able to handle what comes their way as they trust themselves — instinctively celebrates rather than competes. Sometimes they may even be inspired by those they meet, but never jealous.

28. Figure out what causes you stress, thereby grabs your focus, time and energy

Be honest and then get serious about making permanent changes.

As the new year rolls around, sometimes money and weight can creep to the top of resolution lists we wish to change or improve. However, looking more closely, what are we doing in our lives that cause these two areas to be filled with stress? Sometimes it is what we are not doing - we're not removing self-deflating influences, we are not diving into what brings us joy and buoys our love of life, we are buying our way to a happy life when the contentment we seek is within. So much can be avoided by going deeper, being honest with ourselves and making simple, small changes - additions or subtractions - to eliminate such stresses on either these two areas or others that may be causing you pain.

Simplifying, as shown in today's list, is not as simple as rearranging our furniture, or editing our closets. If we choose to truly simplify, we need to be fully present and absolutely honest with ourselves and how and why we live as we do. Sometimes we may want to seek out the guidance of a counselor to answer help us answer truthfully these questions for ourselves, but largely we can do the work ourselves. We just need to remember to do the work because it does pay off wonderful dividends that will remain in our lives for lifetime.

Clearing the clutter, brightening our view, freshening the air to welcome the beauty that our lives have the potential to reveal to us. Yep, simplifying our lives is most definitely worth it. :)

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