#a hashtag relatable meme funnyman or whatever and it's anonymous so no one knows it's Trent Crimm Middle-Aged Journalist

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

just thinking about trent having an embarrassing twitter account that's like, idk, priv and/or just like an anonymous jokey account sort of thing and it regularly tweets things like "The weighted blanket is not enough. i need a man to lay on top of me horizontally and crush me to death. lovingly." and "Just made finger guns at my crush instead of doing what I intended to do, which was apologize. I think maybe I should be shot into the sun?" and "Sorry for being rude. I got anxious and scared. It will happen again" and "'Not all men' you're right. Ted Lasso would never do this to me" <- everyone assumes that's a general celebrity crush/just a joke about a famously really nice guy and like, coach beard actually likes/retweets it so it goes mildly viral and trent is like. This Is Fine. most people assume that this account is run by like, a female tumblr user in her late twenties. no. this is a middle-aged single father and no one realizes this until he tweets something like "My ex-wife just set me up with a man who looks exactly like my straight crush, but worse. You know, because she's evil, and also the funniest person alive. anyway guess who i ran into on the date" or "i am a single middle-aged father and i only JUST NOW found out i have autism. My parents knew when I was three." which is then updated by "WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY EX WIFE KNEW TOO" (she thought it was kind of a given) only to confuse them again when he mentions that time he was pregnant