#a compass in the midst of this grey world :'D

[ofgentleresolve]

WHAT'S YOUR ROLE IN THE TRAGIC PLAY?

misunderstood villain.

prepare for an onslaught of both the most dehumanizing and hateful takes, and flood of thirst comments. you are chronically misunderstood. whether or not you're actually evil is debatable. you may be acting out for revenge, to defend someone you love, or even just to protect yourself. you're a pretty jaded person. you don't trust or even really like most people. maybe you did at one point. but that part of you is gone, and you don't go a single day without grieving it. you think a lot about what your life could have been. you're stuck in the past. you're angry and maybe you don't even want to be, but this is the only way you can see to survive. you're open, but less in a trusting way and more like a wound. you don't like to let people see you, but the hurt spills out of you before you can stop it. you're impulsive, even as you try hard to plan and prepare. maybe someday your side of the story will finally be heard. until then, you can convince yourself that being hated is safer anyway.

tagged by: @uroborosymphony ( GOD LYNNIE THIS HURT 😭😭😭 ) tagging: @jeoseungsaja ( alex i am CONTRACTUALLY required to tag hyuk in arc two for this 😭😭😭 ), @mythvoiced ( for sarang!! ) @tvsteoftrvgedy @eclavigne and you!! STEAL FROM ME PLS :'D

[dragongutsixofficial]

Aline is finally getting a detailed character sheet thanks to @onyxedskies's fe3h oc template !! = D best girl deserves the world

The others are coming soon (about damn time)

Character Info: Aline von Hresvelg

Names and aliases: 

        Name (English): Aline

        Full name (English): von Hresvelg 

        Aliases (English): the Helianth (spy alias)

Biological Information:

        Gender: gaslight gatekeep girlboss

        Race: Human

        Birthday: 01/26

        Fodlan birthday: 26th of the Guardian Moon

        Age: 23 before timeskip - 28 post-timeskip

        Relatives: older sister to Edelgard von Hresvelg , Adel von Hresvelg, Loki Blaiddyd von Hresvelg 

        Nationality: Adrestian Empire

        Hometown: Enbarr

        Residence: Garreg Mach Monastery

        Factions: Imperial army/Alliance (temporarily)

        Occupations: gardener, spy, big sister 

Backstory:

Early Life:

Aline is Edelgard's older sister, and her mom was a concubine of Ionius' that hailed from Duscur. Aline herself was far from being the first in the imperial line of succession before the experiments, being somewhat in the middle. Being raised in the midst of political intrigues with largely absent parents, all the siblings formed a very tight-knit group and once her little siblings came to the world, Aline herself picked up the big sister mantle.

The experiments her family underwent at the hands of TWSITD left her physically and mentally scarred and having lost most of the people she ever cared about, as well as with a deep hatred of anyone who ever allowed this to take place in the first place, including her own father. Perhaps even more infuriating was that now that TWSITD had a puppet they could put on the throne in the person of Edelgard, Aline was declared officially dead to clear up the succession line and only allowed to live so long as she was useful. 

Academy Phase:

When Edelgard came to her with her plans to dismantle the system, she was all in. Aline's main motivation has always been her siblings' safety and happiness, and that means she is ready to do whatever it takes for them to get that happy ending. Thus, though she has a very strong moral compass, she is a very morally grey character and is ready to stab anyone in the back if that means achieving her goal. Combined with her official death making things easier and TWSITD's help, who allow her to magically cover all the traces left by the experiments on her to avoid  any embarassing questions, she turns into an assassin and a spy for the Empire and gets hired as a gardener at Garreg Mach monastery at the start of the game, where she can befriend pretty much anyone and listen in on their secrets. 

Timeskip Phase:

After the battle of Garreg Mach, Aline settles in Derdriu as a gardener, where she stays close with the Golden Deer, who she spies on for the Empire. In the meantime, she volunteers to help Claude get war intel by putting the relationships she made with the staff of the monastery in good use- and takes control of a whole net of spies, thus controlling whatever info Claude gets on Edelgard's plans while covering her own tracks.

War Phase:

Aline remains in Derdriu until the Alliance falls, after which she joins up with the rest of the Imperial Army and joins the battle in an official manner. She also reverts to her real appearance.

Post-Canon:

After the war, Aline keeps watching out for Edelgard and helping out as much as she can. Later on, she moves to Faerghus with Loki, where they help rebuild the Kingdom as she gets to reconnect with her Duscurian heritage, something she could never do in the Empire. She becomes a real gardener, this time.

Personality:

        Aline is a smart woman who can be as incredibly kind and compassionate as cold and calculating. She is a very social person and very good at keeping her emotions in check. But her number 1 priority will always be her siblings : though she might love people, she will not hesitate to stab them in the back if they are a threat- sometimes going overboard and driving people away from her. This is also in part due to her instinctive mistrust of other people after the experiments.

As such, she also works on being more vulnerable and rebuilding her faith in people, as well as growing into a reliable friend, as time goes on.

Gameplay:

it's better for everyone's sanity if i don't try to do stats i know nothing about ; but her class is Assassin, with proficiency in both the bow and the sword. Her physical defense is low, and her physical strength and endurance have their limits, but her speed along with her evading skills make her a dangerous enemy. She relies more on strategy than direct confrontation to win her fights.

Recruitment:

Aline is not recruitable (she works like Jeritza).

Gift List: she loves flowers and spicy food !

Meal List: anything spicy will do.

Lost Items:

Brown hair dye: A half-used bottle of brown hair dye. Who could it belong to ?

Horticulture book: A horticulture book that's covered in brown dirt.

Earring: A bronze earring that looks familiar.

Quotes:

In The Monastery:

Choir Practice:

I used to sing my siblings to sleep when we were younger, so I'd like to say I'm a pretty good singer !

Cooking:

I’d better warn you: cooking is where I release all of my pent-up anger.

Counselor:

I'd like to grow more varied plants in the greenhouse, from outside of Fodlan even. I feel that would be very beneficial to both our students and the staff. However, they sometimes strive in climates and soils very different from Garreg Mach monastery, and I am not sure I would be able to care for them properly.

Dining Hall:

With Loki: I'm glad you're enjoying all that new food you're discovering.

With Edelgard : One day, we'll gorge on sweets together. I promise.

With Adel: Don't play with your food.

Gift:

Favorite: Oh ! This is a very thoughtful. Here- have some flowers in return !

Neutral: Thanks. That's really kind of you.

Disliked: Ooooh... thanks.

Lost Item:

Not theirs: Mh. This is not mine.

Theirs: Oh. Thank you. I can't believe I let this lie in the open like that !

Tea Party:

General: Thank you for inviting me ! Mh… That tea looks delicious.

Favorite Tea: Four-spice blend

Favorite Teas: "Oh… that's my favorite. Thank you. How did you know that ?"

Observe: And what exactly are you hoping to find ?

End: This was… great. Next time i'll have your favorite tea figured out.

Group Tasks: 

Stable Duty (with Edelgard):

Aline: It's been a long time since we've been able to hang around like this. This is nice.

Edelgard : Yes. I'm glad we can both take our minds of this war, if only for a moment.

Aline: Someday Edel, we'll have all the time in the world. Promise.

Weeding (with Loki):

Loki: I'm not sure I want to do this. 

Aline : Here. I'll show you how to do it.

Loki: Nope, nope, I don't want to be covered in dirt. I'll stick around as… moral support.

Sky Watch (with Adel):

Adel: Come on Al ! This is the life !

Aline : Wait for me !

Adel: No, you'll have to catch us !

Results:

Good: Haha ! What do you think of that ?

Battle Quotes:

When selected: I won't let you down.

War phase:

Full health: Mh.

Medium health: This is getting tough… I'll have to be careful.

Low health: I can't give up now !

Critical:

War phase:

Don't underestimate me ! 

 For my siblings !

 You never stood a chance.

 I'm sorry it came to this.

Facing a named enemy:

Facing someone she betrayed : Look, I'm… I'm sorry for everything. Not that this will change what I came here to do.

 It comes to this at last.

War phase:

Mh. 

Oof ! That was a tough one. 

 Hope they're doing okay out there.

 Ugh. That's a lot of blood.

 I'm sorry.

 Well, now that that's dealt with.

Ally Defeats Enemy:

I'm proud of you ! 

Stay careful out there !  

 I'll be backing you up. 

  Slay !

  Wow ! Impressive !

You've grown so much... Not that killing is good of course, but you get the idea.  

Retreat Quote:

War Retreat: I wasn't enough to protect them…

[johnhardinsawyer]

Who Do You Trust?

John Sawyer

Bedford Presbyterian Church

11 / 4 / 18

Proverbs 3:1-12

Mark 12:28-34

“Who Do You Trust?”

(Fearless Generosity in Fearful Times)

When my friends Tony and Diana were moving into their first home, one of their new neighbors – an elderly fellow – walked down the street to meet them.  He seemed friendly enough, but, toward the end of the conversation – which, I presume was about life in the neighborhood, and buying a new house, and going to the store to buy the things that a new house needs – he man pointed his finger at Tony and said, “Hey man, don’t trust nobody but your wallet.”  “I’m sorry. . .  What?” Tony said.  “Don’t trust nobody but your wallet,” the man said, walking away.  “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

Tony told me this story, years ago, and I’ve wondered about it ever since.  Was this just some crazy thing that a crazy old guy said or was he actually offering some good advice?  For years, I have been trying to figure out what “Don’t trust nobody but your wallet” means, and, I think it might mean something like this:  “If you know what’s in your wallet – how much you have, how much you can buy – then you can trust in that, but you can’t trust much else beyond that.”  This is not the most clear bit of advice you can give someone, but there is some truth to it, I guess.  Ask anyone who is on a tight budget and they’ll gladly tell you that, in order for them to keep on budget, they can only trust what they have – not what they mighthave.  And, while it might be nice to dream about coming into a big inheritance or winning the Powerball lottery, you can’t always count on stuff like that.  But, if you know what you have earned by the sweat of your brow – you know what you have – and you don’t have to trust anybody or anything, except for that.  “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush,” some folks might say.  You can count on what you know you have.  Trust your wallet, and nothing else.

I have a problem with this line of thinking, though, because I am a person of faith.  And if I have faith – which is a trust and assurance in something I have not seen, but only hope for[1]– then I am led to trust in more than just my wallet, or my bank account, or the clear black and white, dollars and cents of things.  My bank balance – or what I have in my wallet – might determine what I am able to buy or give away, but it does not determine what and who I trust.

In today’s reading from the Book of Proverbs, we hear the words of wise King Solomon, who tells us not to trust in our wallets, but to “Trust in the Lordwith all your heart. . .”? (Proverbs 3:5)  In the original language, there is this sense that you take the whole of who you are – your inner self, your mind, your will, your heart[2]–and you throw it all down on the ground in front of the face of God.[3]  You are completely vulnerable, you can’t protect yourself, you are completely in God’s hands.  “Give yourself over completely to God,” Solomon is saying.  “And do not lean too much on, or try to support yourself,[4]with your own ability to understand the world and your place in it.”  Trust in the Lord, not yourself (or your wallet).

While there are many people who might agree with old wise Solomon, in theory, most of us – even people of deep faith – struggle with the idea of putting all of our trust in God and not in ourselves.  Because, we human beings know stuff, right?  And we are always seeking to understand the world and our place in it.  This is why we spend so much time educating ourselves in school and trying to figure things out, figure ourselves out, figure other people out.  And we are often under the illusion that we think we know what’s going on – with us and with the world.  We think we understand.  But, we never really have things fully figured out, do we?  I mean, the universe is a complex place, the world is complicated – and so are the people who live here.  Things are rarely as simple as we make them out to be.  Even issues that might clearly seem black and white to us, become grey under closer scrutiny.  As author Marilynne Robinson puts it:  

There is tremendous play in reality, or, to put the matter another way, there are far too many layers and orders of complexity in all of Being [capital “B”] to abide the simple accounts we try to make of things.[5]

We, human beings, like simplicity, and life is usually way more complicated than we like it to be.  When things get too complicated – which is fairly often – we can get anxious or downright afraid, and we compensate by clinging to and trusting only what we can know for sure, like our wallets or possessions, our own feelings or our own experiences.  These things can be trusted and nothing else, or so we think.

And yet, here is Solomon, in today’s passage, telling us that to lean on anything or anyone except for God is a foolish thing to do. Do not lean on your own way of understanding, or your own mind, or your own accomplishments, or even your own wallet. Because people can let us down – we even let ourselves down from time to time – and the money in our wallets does run out.  Usually, it runs out faster than we would like.  And, if we are trusting only in our wallets, or our bank accounts, or our stock portfolios, we might have the blessing of some material wealth, but we can also be cursed with the constant mindset of needing and wanting more.  You see, I can only trust in my wallet for so long before I start focusing on what is notin my wallet instead of how grateful I am for what is in it.  If I trust in the Lord with my whole self, though, then it means that my mind and heart are focused less on what I do not have and more on what I have been given.  Going through life with a mindset of scarcity robs us of being able to rejoice in God’s abundance.  

Over the past three years at Bedford Presbyterian Church, the message we hope you have been hearing with some consistency – from the pulpit, from our Stewardship team, in the letters and publications we have sent ��� is that we give to God, not because we hope to be rewarded, but because we are grateful for all that God has given to us.  We have been sharing this message again and again, because we trust it to be true.  We give to God because we have experienced God’s blessings in so many different parts of our lives and in so many ways, that we cannot help but be thankful – grateful to God for giving us reason after reason to trust in the Lord with all our hearts.  And, because we have been so grateful to God as a congregation, over the past three years, if you add our Capital Campaign giving to our regular Annual Stewardship Campaign giving we have raised nearly two million dollars[6]to support the ministry and mission of God here at Bedford Presbyterian Church.  There were those who were worried that it could not be done.  But, in the midst of doubt and fear, God inspired such gratitude, such sacrificial generosity, such trust.  And, for this, I am in awe and I am grateful.

We live in a time when trust seems to be at an all-time low, there are plenty of people who don’t trust their neighbors, or institutions or elected officials.  They don’t even trust members of their own family.  “Don’t trust nobody,” is the message you see on the news, and read on the internet, and even hear in rap lyrics.  And, it would seem that the less trust there is, the more fear there is.  Trust is a rare thing, these days.  Fear, not so much.

But trust is not dead.  Strangely enough, there are those who still find some way to trust in something beyond themselves.  They trust in God because they trust that God loves them.  And this love from God makes them grateful and, dare I say, more willing to respond with love and trust in their own lives.  I have seen this and know it to be true because of what I have seen here at Bedford Presbyterian Church.

Real trust always seems to go hand-in-hand with love. If we love someone, then we are more open to trusting them.  This is one of the reasons why Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. . . [and] love your neighbor as yourself.”  (Mark 12:30-31)  To love something – someone – beyond ourselves is the very foundation of faith.

When we come to this Table, we come, trusting in the One whose love for us was so deep and wide that he gave himself away to us and for us.  Now, you might come to this Table with a faith and trust that are strong.  But, if you are like me, you come to this Table with a faith and trust that are in need of some strength for the facing of these days.

This is not the first time in the history of the world when people were worried about the future, when they were afraid, when trust in anyone or anything was at a low ebb.  God has a way, though, of speaking a Word of love and trust and hope in every age – even in the age in which we live.  This is a Word of generosity and sacrifice, a Word of great compassion and deep faith.  This is a Word who inspires trust in something beyond ourselves, beyond our wallets, beyond our own understanding.  This is a Word who calls us to set our minds and hearts on things that are beyond what we can see and know and touch.  This Word is Jesus Christ, the One who shows us how to live faithfully in fearful times, the One who is the very example of God’s fearless generosity, the One who calms our fears, the One who came to make all things well.

Jesus shows us that just when we think we have run out of faith and trust, there is always more of God – more that God will give us, more than we know, more than we will ever need – and you can put your trust in that.

Friends, do not be afraid.  Do not trust “nobody.”  Instead, trust somebody.  Trust in the One whose love for you knows no bounds.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.

----------------

[1]See Hebrews 11:1.

[2]F. Brown, S. Driver, and C. Briggs, The Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon(Peabody:  Hendrickson Publishers, 1997) 523.

[3]F. Brown, S. Driver, and C. Briggs, 105.  With gratitude to Dr. Jackson Blake Couey for some clarity on this.

[4]F. Brown, S. Driver, and C. Briggs, 1043.

[5]Marilynne Robinson, What Are We Doing Here?  Essays (New York:  Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2018) 102.

[6]Approximately $1,900,000 over the course of 2016, 2017, and 2018, based on information in the most current church Stewardship Brochure: Fearless Generosity – Bedford Presbyterian Church 2019 Season of Stewardship.