#a comically large puffy winter coat.

[love-can-be-as-cold-as-grave]

Chapter 29 - Into the Night, You and I Torn and Broken

[Los Angeles]

Liv watched as her therapists eyes lingered upon her black suitcase, black coat draped overtop, next to her feet. She shuffled uncomfortably from where she sat across the ebony skinned woman.

The therapist, wearing a grey pantsuit, placed her hands over the small notepad she had been writing in during the start of the session, switching her eyes back to Liv as she sensed her restlessness. "Do you have another work trip?"

Liv crossed her legs. She was dressed in travel attire, black leggings, an oversized black nirvana t-shirt, a light wash jean jacket, black Dr. Martens, and her hair in two braids that spilled over her shoulders and down her chest. She had told herself a few years back when she had returned to therapy that she would never miss a session, and although she had her flight to Helsinki in three hours, here she was, diligently attending the session. It was her first since the news of the gig however, and although she’d come to be very open with her therapist, the subject still made her uncomfortable. She uncrossed her legs. “I do yes, in Finland.”

The therapist adjusted her cat-eye glasses, making a note, the soft sound of pencil on paper filling the otherwise quiet office. “Finland?” The womans calm eyes looked up at Liv questioningly. “Is this the first time you are returning to Finland since your last encounter with the singer?”

Liv looked down at her hands, trying not to bite down on her lower lip. “It is. I uh, I’m actually going there to work with him, and the rest of his band.”

The sounds of writing echoed again as the therapist continued her note-taking. “How are you feeling about returning there, and re-connecting with him?”

Liv let out a small sigh, looking up into the dark browns of her therapists eyes. “It’s strange, I don’t feel this worrying dread I felt the last time I was there, nor am I scared to talk to him. I even called him first. It’s almost like, like I’m relieved.”

The therapist tucked a curl out of her eyes, raising an inquisitive brow. “Relieved?”

Liv shuffled in her seat, the leather couch squeaking beneath her. “Yeah. It’s like, I’m happy that there can be this normalcy, and that,” She paused, trying to find the right words to describe exactly how she’d been feeling since the phone call with Ville, “it’s like I’m happy that we’ve moved on enough that we can talk like, like, well maybe not old friends, but at least like colleagues, that we can hold a normal conversation.”

The therapist nodded her head slightly before leaning forward, her elbows resting on her knees. “Liv, it is very mature and thoughtful of you to feel that way. Not many people achieve that level of personal growth enough to ever accept talking or seeing their ex, especially a first love. I’d like to ask though, what exactly is it about being able to reconnect as friends that makes you feel relieved? Have you been feeling anxious?”

Liv shook her head, interlacing her fingers on her lap. “No, I don’t think so. It’s more, it’s like that time in my life had its ups and downs, but it was really important for me, and through the years I’ve had to alienate those thoughts and memories because of what happened between Vi, the singer and myself, and now that I feel like we’re in good places, I guess I was relieved because now I can mentally return to that time, I can feel this wholeness again. Does that make sense?”

The therapist leaned back, “It does Liv, and the fact that you can recognize that, like I’ve noted, shows serious personal growth. I must say, I am really impressed with the level of personal reflection you have been discussing in our past few sessions.” Liv gave a small smile, she knew they both were aware how long it had taken her to get to that point. The therapist glanced at the thin silver watch on her wrist. “I know we only have a few more minutes, and as I can see, you need to be heading to the airport, but I’d like to ask, in the past you’ve described Finland and the singer as triggers for you, how do you plan on handling these triggers during the course of your time there?”

Shit, Liv thought, biting down on the soft skin of her lower lip, I hadn’t really thought of that. “Uhh, well, as we’ve talked about in the past I am quick to get emotional, so I guess if I am triggered I will take a few minutes to collect myself and my thoughts to make sure what I’m thinking and feeling is in fact rational?” She gave a small nervous chuckle and shrugged.

*****

[March 4th, 2017, Rovaniemi, Finland]

“You look absolutely ridiculous in that thing” Sirii chuckled as she tried to keep up with Liv as she pushed their airport trolley rapidly along towards the exit of the Rovaniemi airport where they had just touched down. The trolley was loaded up with their personal suitcases along with all of Liv’s photography equipment.

Liv rolled her eyes, “It’s the dead of winter here, I refuse to become a Liv popsicle!” Her small frame looked comically twice its size in the large black parka she had purchased in preparation for the weather in Lapland. She’d been warned by Seppo that she should come prepared, and that any shots of the band outside had to be done thoughtfully, lest they freeze in the outfits that had been picked out for them.

Sirii laughed, “You Americans, I guess your winters aren’t as bad?” Sirii herself wore her usually puffy black jacket, a large grey knitted scarf around her neck, pixie haircut poking out in all directions. Slung over her shoulder was a small black backpack.

“Yeah..no.” She said curtly, her mind too focused on racing to the exit of the building where their ride to the cabin awaited. Their flight had been delayed by half an hour due to turbulence, and with terrible cell phone service in the area they had been unable to warn their whoever was picking them up that they would be late. Sirii was struggling to keep up with the speedy pace.

Finally they spotted the exit and raced out. Outside the sky was light grey with cloud coverage, the kind of clouds heavy with snow. Around the front of the airport were the slushy and dirty remains of heavy snowfall but in the distance Liv could see the deep layers of pristine white covering nearby trees. Clutching the trolley she stood on her tippy toes, black Dr. Martens protecting her feet from the slush, and searched around for the beat up red van she had been told would be picking them up.

Her eyes caught the movement of a waving hand. Attached to that hand was a familiar frame. “Mige!” She yelled, unable to help herself. Leaving the trolley and Sirii Liv raced across the salted walkway towards him. He waited for her, arms outstretched. He wore a green parka and black pants, beard as wild as ever, head covered beneath an orange beanie. She practically knocked him over as she ran into his arms, enveloping him in a bear hug.

His chest rumbled, and belly shook as he let out a deep chortle. “Aww zombie fucker, I missed you!”

Liv pulled back, playful punching him in the gut, “I am never going to live that down am I!” She put her hands on her hips with mock annoyance, cheeks flushed from the cold.

Mige shrugged, cheeks swelling with a smile, “Nope!”

Liv rolled her eyes, “Great!” She noticed puffs of condensation escaping her mouth as she spoke, man it really is freezing out here. She felt the sting on her bare hands and quickly tucked them into her pockets. With her elbow she gave Mige a nudge, “How the heck have you been?”

He stepped to the back of the van as Sirii approached with the overloaded trolley and opened up the doors. “Oh you know, same old. A little excited to start working on some side projects I’ve got lined up once our tour is done. Excited to work with you again!” He began grabbing items off the trolley and carefully tucking them in to the back of the van.

Liv smiled, throwing an arm around Sirii, “I am too. Speaking of work, this is Sirii my wonderful assistant and partner.”

Mige put the last of the items in to the back and shut the van doors with a loud thud and stretched out his hand for Mige to shake. “Wonderful to meet you, you can call me Mige.”

Sirii tried containing her smile as she gave Mige a quick and firm shake, a little too speechless to respond. 

Mige rolled back the side door of the van ceremoniously. "Your carriage awaits ladies."

Liv bowed, smirking, "Why thank you kind sir." She beckoned Sirii to go in first then quickly shuffled in behind her, praying the van had heating.

Inside was the musky smell of a well used vehicle, the heat making a low and welcoming hum. In the driver's seat sat a man that looked to be in his thirties, his long curly hair spilling over his shoulders, mingling with the full beard masking half his face. He smiled at Liv and Sirii through the rearview mirror.

Mige slammed the door shut and buckled his seatbelt before turning to look back at the girls as the van pulled off the curb. "Ladies, this is Kosmo our wonderful drummer and driver and baker. Kosmo, this is the lovely Liv and her assistant Sirii."

"Hei" He stuck out one hand in a quick wave before focusing on the road ahead, merging on to a small highway.

Mige leaned back, getting comfortable for the long drive, Liv followed his lead, unzipping her parka and stretching out her legs. She stole a glance at Sirii who began digging in her purse for something. "I didn't know you two would be the ones picking us up."

Mige scratched his beard, "oh yeah, Kosmo has family up here. Actually the cabin Seppo found belongs to his family, so he's familiar with the uh terrain."

"From the pictures Seppo sent it looks really beautiful. This is going to a fun shoot, fun but cold." She cracked a smile as she rubbed her hands together, trying to get rid of the tingle in her fingertips from the sudden change from cold to hot.

"I brought up some whiskey and kaakao, what you Americans call hot chocolate." Kosmo smiled as he carefully steered the wheel through the thick slush on the road. 

They'd now turned on to a quieter winding road, no buildings in sight, just the road ahead and lush forest closing in from both sides. Liv gazed out of the fogged up car window in the little spot she had wiped condensation away. The scenery along the road was like a scene right out of a christmas card, the beautiful evergreens standing tall against the pale skies, snow enveloping each tree in white sprinkles, as if it had been painted on. She again beamed to herself with excitement at the prospect of such beautiful scenery as her backdrop for the shoot.

The rest of the car ride was spent in comfortable silence and it wasn't long before the van came to a stop.

Liv rubbed the window with her sleeve and beamed as she looked out. They'd parked in a small driveway in front of the most idealistic cabin Liv had ever seen. It was one of those cabins you could imagine seeing on TV, built of logs, two stories, small stairs leading up to a little covered patio. A little door but large windows peering back from behind the blanket of snow covering the entire scene. On either side, like guard towers were two large evergreens, practically ready to be strung up with lights and ornaments in their wintery glory.

The two men were quick to hop out of the van, their boots crunching on the fresh, untrodden snow. Liv pulled back the door and slid out, pulling the hood of her parka over her head, completely awestruck by the scenery. Don’t see this in California, she smiled to herself before hurrying to the back of the van to help unload luggage and gear, her mind barely able to focus on the task at hand.

After a few phone calls with Seppo and a creative director with Metal Hammer her idea of a shoot in Lapland was greenlit, but the shoot and short interview had been turned into a feature length article focusing in depth on how the band felt about the break-up and subsequent final tour. She was also to focus on their down times and relationships with one another, their moments of peace and comradery, all done over the course of two days and one night. It would be the longest and most in depth interview and article they would ever participate in and although Liv was nervous at the idea of properly putting into words the life of her extraordinary friends, she was glad to be the one to tell their story.

"The rest of the guys are out grabbing supplies from town." Mige said as he unlocked the front door, carrying a few bundles of Livs photography equipment.

Everyone followed in behind them, each welcoming the comfortable warmth of the cabin. Inside was an assault of color, greens, blues, and reds on the curtains, throws, and furniture, eased by the warm mahogany of wooden accenting everywhere else. I could live out the rest of my days here, Liv thought as she rolled her suitcase past the large fireplace and towards the stairs where Mige said she would be sharing a room with Sirii.

Luggage was unloaded and photography equipment stowed away. Kosmo began preparing for some large feast in the kitchen, Siiri helping him delightfully as she chatted away, filling the silence of his shyness.

Liv and Mige had sat down at the dining room table, a large window looking out towards the forested backyard of the cabin, the glow of snow illuminating their tame game of chess. A small voice recorder sat on the table next to them, a small green light glowing from the side.

“I’ll miss the cramped tour buses hearing every little thing in the dead of night,” Mige let out a low rumble of laughter as he moved his pawn. “There’s something about being in a well known band though, fans expect the same sound and the same songs at every show.” He shrugged, a small sadness in his eyes. “And we’re old. Gas couldn’t handle things like he used to.”

Liv looked from Mige to the chessboard, “Do things feel different without him?” She made a threatening move on the board.

Mige scratched his beard, “Of course. We’re all like brothers at this point. Kosmo is great, we’ve known him for a while, but it’s not the same.” He rested his chin in his hand, pondering his next move, “Anyways, we’re old fucks, we want a change.” He smiled suddenly, and just like that Liv’s queen had fallen. “Check mate!” He smiled triumphantly.

She gave a sarcastic bow before her gaze trailed off out the window.

She focused back on Mige, “What’s your fondest memory over these twenty odd years of recording and touring?” She began re-setting the board, eyes occasionally darting back out the window.

Mige smiled to himself, eyes looking off, aglaze with memories. “Touring for Love Metal was an experience I’ll never forget. It was like, like the college days of being a band. We got up to so much shit, we drank so much shit, met so many people. And that was when we were really close with Bam. He actually asked about you when I bumped into him in Hells a few months ago. I told him about the breakup and he actually asked if you were gonna do any press for it. Then that got me thinking, and the rest is history!”

Liv’s mouth popped open with surprise. Bam set this up? Bam suggested I do this? She shook her head, closing her mouth, braids tossling side to side. “What?” That man is like, he’s like a twisted fairy god jackass.

Mige scratched the back of his head smirking, "Yeah Bam seems to just do that. I'm glad though," he reached out across the chessboard and lay his hand overtop of Livs, "I'm really happy you agreed to come, it means a lot to all of us. Anyways," he retreated his hand, "enough of that. Go, get out of here, go outside. You’ve been staring out that damn thing this whole time like a sex addict in a porn shop. You have plenty of time to interview me later, go out, enjoy the freezing woods!” Mige got up and tossed Liv her black parka which she’d draped over the back of the couch.

She caught it smirking, I do need to scout some spots for tomorrow. “You sure?”

Mige rolled his eyes, “Yeah yeah yeah, someone needs to make sure Kosmo and Sirii are actually getting stuff done in there and not just flirting.” He shot Liv a wink before disappearing in to the kitchen.

As soon as he was out of sight Liv quickly stood up and slipped on her coat, running over to her martens and digging in her carry on bag for her gloves. There was a back door near the dining room that led out to the serene scenery behind the cabin. As soon as Liv stepped out she could feel the cold as if it had penetrated right in to her bones, right okay so make sure the guys are well dressed. She shut the door behind her, gripping the railing of the back stairs and walking out into the thick snow. The snow was entirely undisturbed, glistening in the grey glow of day. A few towering trees peppered the backyard before condensing in to thicker woods. Her feet began leading her forward. The should be standing in a more secluded area, like a meadow, with the trees surrounding them, or a clearing. Around her was a peaceful quiet, only birds periodically chirping in excited melodies, and the crunch crunch crunch of her footsteps carving a path in the thick snow. She approached a drooping branch, heavy with snow and gave it a flick, watching as the snow slumped off on the ground in a heavy heap. She meandered onward, looking around as the trees began getting closer and closer until she saw it, a break in the woods and beyond it a small clearing.

“People have gotten lost and frozen out in these would you know.”

His deep, raspy voice sparked tingles of recognition that radiated throughout her body like a lightning strike in the sky. All at once it felt like he was saying everything he'd ever said to her, from You better not, to, bye, and every time he'd said her name in between. She let out a foggy breath. The last time I heard that voice I’d broken his heart, she closed her eyes briefly remember the agonizing voicemail he had left her. She’d listened to it many times that same year before finally deleting it on new years eve, determined to start her year afresh.

She didn’t shake. Her heart didn’t race. She didn’t brace herself for an onslaught of emotion. His voice didn’t rattle her to the core. She simply turned around, a hesitant smile on her lips.

Like his voice ignited the flame of recognition, so did setting eyes in him, after so long. An uncomfortable smile in the hospital, a sweat grin on stage, the confused and amazed eyes in that polaroid of him sitting on the tour bus steps. But also anger, words spitting out at her with poison.

He stood about three yards away, looking entirely comfortable in the snow. He looked exactly as he always did, a black hoodie under a black sports coat, hands tucked into the pockets, black jeans, black Dr. Martens, a black scarf wrapped around his neck, and a black beanie covering his long curls. His cheeks were flushed from the cold, a small layer of hair on his chin and upper lip. He had a timid smile on his lips. 

She pointed lightheartedly at the trail of her footprints in the snow, “I’ve got my own theseus type marker.”

Ville took a couple of steps forward. “Am I supposed to be the minotaur or the princess in this scenario?”

She tried gauging his reaction, trying to find something in his countenance that gave away what she really saw there, the expression of someone happy to see a friend. She gave a small shrug, “Depends, do you have cloven hooves I can’t see?”

A low chuckle range out of his lips, his smile catching in his eyes. He beckoned for her to follow him as he started to turn around, “Come, the rest of the guys are excited to see you.”

She strode forward, catching up with him and matching his slow pace. This is weird, she thought, remembering Marcus words. Weird but nice. Still a little uncomfortable being in his presence she made sure to keep some sort of distance as she walked next to him. “Did they send you out to fetch me?” She couldn’t meet his eyes, it was too intimate, so she looked down at the snow.

He interlaced his fingers behind his back, eyes mimicking hers as they fixated on the powdery snow beneath. "Knowing you'd make us be out here tomorrow, none of them wished to brave the cold now."

They reached the door and he held it open for her, standing far enough away so that when she stepped forward in to the warm confounds of the cabin, there was no chance she'd brush past him.

"Liv!" Linde had his elbow resting on Burtons shoulder as they stood behind the couch, glasses of whiskey in hand, chatting with Mige and Sirii.

Liv flashed a bright smile and dropped the hood off her head. "You guys don't look a day over 100!"

They both rolled their eyes and gave her warm half hugs.

Burton fiddled with his goatee, smirking. "You've come for our funeral then eh?"

Putting away her parka in a small closet Liv turned back to her old friends, heart swelling with happiness that she was trying to contain. "I suppose I am." She glanced over as a streak of motion caught her eye, Ville jokingly made the sign of the cross.

Kosmo peeked his head out of the kitchen, hair tied up in a bun, a large kitchen knife clutched in one hand, a plane green apron full of stains wrapped around him. "You can talk later, first we feast!"

***

His eyes briefly left the chessboard to rest on Liv. She sat, cross legged, back to the crackling fire, voice recorder resting in her outstretched hand as she chatted softly with Linde who sat in the loveseat nearest to her. On the couch sat Kosmo and Sirii, looking through the photographs Liv had taken during dinner. Burton read a book from the other loveseat, a glass of whiskey in his free hand. Across from Ville sat Mige, still pondering his next move. 

It was strange, seeing her there, amongst his friends and colleagues in such a homey and domestic setting. It was strange because it was as if she’d always been there. It was as if time hadn’t passed, as if this scene could have happened four years ago. But in a way, it still felt very different.

Leading up to the day, helping the guys peruse the aisles of the grocery store, he'd wondered exactly how he'd react when he saw her. A phone call is one thing. Imagining how you'd react is one thing. But being there, in their physical presence, having your body inches from the body you'd held, caressed, comforted, pleasured, is a whole other story. The reaction is physical, instinctual, and no pre-thinking can change what will really happen once you see them again.

He’d spotted her in the trees, looking around with wonder, otherworldly, just as she’d always been. She was the same in that respect, ethereal and lively; a forest nymph, But as she’d turned around he spotted the difference. It was in her eyes, the slightest difference there. Something he hadn’t immediately been able to put his finger on, until he finally realized, the tragedy, it was gone. The pain he’d once seen in those beautiful eyes no longer shone through like a knife among diamonds. He’d thought he was crazy, to see something like this, something others would never spot, but it was there nonetheless. To him she would always be that tragically beautiful young woman carried away on a gurney that fate compelled him to speak with, however that person no longer existed, and that realization had shaken him. He’d kept a calm and collected contenance, but within he couldn’t help but be surprised. She was the same Liv, but then again, she wasn’t.

This is what he now pondered, stealing glances at her from across the room with curiosity, what changed?

Suddenly Mige’s booming voice broke through Ville’s reverie. “So Liv, is Sirii your work partner or your partner partner? Did you finally turn the tide?”

Liv gaped from her position on the floor, snickers coming from Burton, Linde raising a questioning brow, Kosmo and Sirii sharing a similar expression of embarrassment. Ville watched everyone's reactions with amusement. 

“Well?” Linde laughed, sitting up straighter in his seat.

Liv threw up her hands with exasperation, “My work partner obviously! You guys!” She rolled her eyes.

Ville snickered to himself, remembering a night long ago of drinking games.

“She’s dating a model, why would she date me!” Sirii joked, getting up off the couch to hand Liv back her camera.

Oh.

Well of course she is.

He moved a piece on the board then shifted in his chair to face the room. “How did you two meet?” Is that inappropriate? A past love asking about a new one? It’s not wrong to show interest in her life though, we’re friends, right?

Liv switched the recorder off, shuffling uncomfortably where she sat, a small blush creeping across her cheeks. "We met at a photoshoot for a clothing line. It's not really the type of work I'm used to but it was a favor for a friend."

Models are on one or the other side of the spectrum. Either crazy or mellow. I wonder which her fellow is.

"Well you tell him to treat you right or else your big brothers will need to have a word with him." Mige growled jokingly before he quickly took Villes queen and stood up. "I think I'm going to get some beauty sleep. Kosmo, thank you for the wonderful reindeer stew."

Kosmo nodded as he too got up, waving goodnight to everyone. With the couch free Burton began preparing his bed. Linde quietly slipped out of the room for bed as Sirii took Livs hand and helped her up off the ground. The two women mumbled their goodnights.

He watched her go up the stairs, wondering when exactly she would be interviewing him, whether he was last on purpose.

"Luulen, että minun pitäisi päästä ulos makuuhuoneestasi? (I suppose I should get out of your bedroom?)" He said to Burton as he stood, the wooden chair creaking as he did so.

Burton smirked as he finished sliding a pillowcase over two couch pillows. "Ellet halua liittyä minuun (Unless you'd like to join me)"

Ville rolled his eyes and began to ascend the stairs, yelling out behind him, "En ole niin epätoivoinen lämmin sänkyyn! (I'm not that desperate for a warm bed!)"

From upstairs rang the muffled yell of Mige from his bedroom, "Älä ole huolissani, että olen täällä! (Don't worry, I'm here for that!)

***

He opened one eye, staring out the crack in his bedroom door and down the hall where the incessant snoring was coming from. He pulled the covers over his head, grumbling to himself before suddenly throwing them off. I should be used to this by now, he mused as he began putting on layers of clothing over his nightwear.

He pulled the door open with a creek and crept over to Mige and Kosmos room, unsure who's snoring was louder, and gently shut the door, hoping to spare the rest of the cabin his suffering. He tiptoed downstairs, trying not to wake Burton, and grabbed his coat, shuffling in the pockets for his Marlboros and a lighter as he made for the back patio. The only sound his soft breathing and the dying crackles of the fire in the hearth.

The freezing night assaulted him instantly as he slipped outside, quickly closing the door behind him.

"Can't sleep either?"

He jumped, scared half to death by her voice. He closed his eyes briefly, trying to slow his heart from the scare, before trying to see her in the dark.

She sat curled up, knees tucked up to her chest, on an outdoor couch, large blanket drowning her frame but for her face, a dim orange glow indicating a cigarette sticking from between her lips. "Sorry," she whispered with an amused voice.

He looked at the empty space beside her, unsure whether it was a good idea to be so close to her, what's there to be scared of, he thought, fingers fiddling with the lighter in his hands. He took a seat next to her, quickly lighting a cigarette to warm himself. "Why are you sitting in the dark?"

He realized he'd been uncomfortably leaning forward, so he sat back, trying to ease himself as he felt his fingers begin to numb.

[Music Recommendation:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxrf4ZzzrA8  ]

Liv inhaled deeply, the sizzle of her cigarette making a low glow. "In LA there are too many lights. There's no darkness anymore in the world, except here."

He shook his head to himself, fighting a small smile pulling at the corner of his lips, she never ceases to surprise me. He stole a glance her way and their eyes locked for a brief moment in the glow of the shining moon as the clouds began to break. They looked away. 

The silence rang heavy in the midnight air before Liv finally spoke. "Look I, I feel like I should apologize for the way I acted the last time we saw each other. It wasn’t fair to you. I should have expressed how I was feeling." She paused, looking out at the snow, taking a drag of her cigarette. "I uh, I realize now I did that a lot when we were together, keep my thoughts my own. I projected my insecurities a lot on to you during a time in my life when there was too much turmoil."

He sat, surprised, marlboro almost falling from his lips. He wanted to protest, to tell her there was no need for any of this now, but hearing it, really hearing it coming from her lips he realized he'd wanted this, this discussion, it was necessary, and it would be untruthful to say he hadn't thought of the exact words he'd express if he saw her again. It was the final stake in to the coffin of their love, and now it could be buried. "Thank you for saying that." He searched the words, wanting to say what he needed to. "Liv, I, I use to think about this, after you left, after the nebulous of anger dissipated. I thought hard, and more objectively than I had ever done before reflecting on past relationships, and yes you were insecure, and yes we were terrible at communicating with one another, but the truth dar.. Liv is that I was controlling. I wasn't myself, I was selfish, I tried telling you what to do, how to live your life, I tried telling you what you wanted. I thought perhaps I knew better I suppose, but I was wrong, terribly terribly wrong. We were toxic, and I do not blame you for leaving." He paused, focusing hard on the trees in the distance. "I shouldn't have asked you to stay." His words trailed off in a whisper, an incredible relief blooming within him at being able to say it, finally say it.

She fiddled with the end of her braid, thoughts behind her eyes. "You know, it took me a long time and therapy to realize that, everything you've said, and to even come to terms with it all." She let out a heavy sigh. Her words stung him. They hit the glued together shards of his heart because not only did she know exactly how he felt, tormented musings by candlelight in his personal studio, fingers growing rougher as they strummed his acoustic, the rhythm of his tears helping him grow. But he also hurt because he could only imagine what it had taken her. It was selfish, it was inappropriate, but he wanted to reach out and hold her, hold her as a twin heart that knows her sorrow. But he stopped himself, putting his cigarette out and lighting another, listening eagerly as Liv continued. "I'm grateful though."

"Every love lost teaches us something…" He whispered, watching the moonlight twinkling upon the snow, the words terribly inadequate but all he could manage in the moment, his mind drowning in memory.

Liv shook her head, shuffling her body so that her back leaned against the armrest, body facing Ville. "I don't think that's just it though. It teaches us about ourselves, at least, that's what I learned. You've loved and lost more than me, you'd know more." The smoke billowed around her as she exhaled. Her eyes panned over him quickly before unwrapping herself and throwing half the blanket over him, keeping her distance still.

He welcomed it, the warmth, the chill of night had begun to creep in to his bones. "It does, you're right. That's the takeaway, that's the last remnants of that dying star of love. Eventually their name doesn't pass through your mind. Eventually the happy memories stop plaguing you. Eventually you stop wondering how they are. And then suddenly you stop dreaming about them, and it's as if the only thing that remains of that relationship is what you've learned, taken away, and as you've said, what you've also learned about yourself."

Liv nodded silently beside him, fingers tucked mostly in to her sleeves, holding the cigarette to her lips.

Suddenly a flicker of light illuminated the sky in undulating streaks of greens, pinks, and yellows.

"Revontulet" Ville whispered with awe.

Liv stood, letting the blanket slip off of her shoulders so she could get a better view. She clutched at the railing of the small porch, her back to Ville as she stared upwards with wonder. A silence filled the air as they both sat, mesmerized by the natural phenomena, both minds digesting their conversation, the first open and honest one they'd ever had. 

Liv turned around, she was shivering. "I should try and sleep." Ville watched as she grabbed hold of the doorknob but paused, twisting her body to face him. "Would you do it all over again?"

Would I? Would I torture myself and her like that again? Would I be accomplice to her and mine own breakdowns again? "That is a difficult question to answer." She has no idea, no idea at all how difficult. "I, I'm not sure. What I do know Liv is that moving on from what we had took everything from me. It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to go through, and although I did not spiral into drugs as I had in the past, I spiraled nonetheless. But I wouldn't be the man I am without it, without what we had, and without you." He flashed her a weak smile, hoping she would appreciate his vulnerable honesty, all of it. He shrugged, his heart feeling lighter and lighter as the northern lights danced across his features. "I like who I am now, and I like who you are now too. We're better for it."

She nodded, smiling to herself and gently pulled the door open, her frame disappearing behind the door before suddenly reappearing, glints of green bouncing off of her eyes. "Ville?"

"Hmm?" 

"I like you too." 

[aion-rsa]

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier Episode 6 Ending Explained

https://ift.tt/3aA08S4

This article contains spoilers for The Falcon and The Winter Soldier episode 6.

Deviating from the Marvel formula a bit, the ending of The Falcon and The Winter Soldier isn’t designed to leave viewers with many questions. There is only one, quite brief, post-credit scene that falls well short of the Nick Fury “Avengers Initiative” watermark. 

Before that, Sam Wilson a.k.a. Falcon a.k.a. Captain America basically articulates all of the series’ themes in great detail with an extended monologue to the world at large like he was Stan Marsh at the end of an early season South Park episode. Even the show’s final title card leaves absolutely no ambiguity, changing the series title from “The Falcon and The Winter Soldier” to “Captain America and The Winter Soldier.”

While Disney+’s second major Marvel effort wraps much of its story into a neat little bow, it still does leave some lingering questions at the end of the day. Let’s examine those questions here and offer up some answers where we can.

What Happened to Torres?

Every new Marvel property must introduce a new sidekick for fans to identify with. Hell, that’s how we got Sam Wilson in the first place. When it came time for Sam Wilson to get his own Sam Wilson, First Lieutenant Joaquín Torres of the U.S. Air Force answered the call. 

Torres was a consistent presence in The Falcon and The Winter Soldier’s first few episodes. But as Sam interacted more with Bucky Barnes and John Walker, his military liaison largely fell by the wayside. He appears only briefly in this finale as we see him watch Sam deliver his speech to the Global Repatriation Council and smile at how far his friend has come. 

There probably aren’t any big plans for Torres to become his own Falcon-style superhero (but remember, he DOES have Sam’s old wings) but as WandaVision and The Falcon and The Winter Soldier have made clear, the MCU always has a need for sympathetic “normal” characters. Don’t be surprised if Torres pops up again in a future Disney+ adventure to support his friend just like always. 

Is Batroc Dead?

Georges Batroc learns a very important lesson in this finale: never ask Sharon Carter for a raise. Yes, one of Captain America’s most consistent villains (though he’s more like an annoyance) has been working with Sharon a.k.a. The Power Broker this whole time. 

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When Batroc finally fulfills his mission of subduing Karli Morgenthau he demands to receive four times his agreed upon payment from Sharon. Sharon responds by shooting him. Where exactly does Sharon shoot him? That’s unclear. But the French Pirate hits the ground very quickly. Given Sharon Carter’s superb marksmanship, it would appear that the shot was fatal. 

Batroc has had quite the run in the MCU. Who would have expected that he would even make it to a Disney+ streaming title after his brief debut in 2014’s Captain America: The Winter Soldier? This does, however, appear to be the end of him. R.I.P.

Is This the End of the Flag-Smashers? 

Very early on in this finale, Bucky warns Sam to be careful because the Flag-Smashers could be anybody. That’s what makes this group a bit trickier to stamp out from your usual MCU baddies. The Flag-Smashers aren’t a people, they’re an ideology. Now many of the group’s main players are dead and Sam gave a lovely speech urging for political tolerance. But was that enough for the Flag-Smashers movement to go away?

Realistically, it’s probably not. The so-called “Blip” of Thanos removing half the Earth’s population and the Avengers returning it five years later will continue to have enormous implications for years to come. In fact, in the continuity of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, it is undoubtedly the single most consequential moment in all of human history. The issues of the blip won’t realistically go away and the Flag-Smashers are sure to become an embedded political movement within the MCU.

Granted, Marvel may soon decide that it’s no longer interesting to continue to harp on one event from a 2019 film for the rest of its filmmaking history and begin to move away from blip-storytelling soon. Rest assured, however, that the Flag-Smashers will still be out there somewhere, smashin’ flags.

How Does the Country Feel About John Walker?

John Walker made history in the Marvel Cinematic Universe by becoming the first human being to face consequences for killing someone. Hell, Sharon Carter is the Power Broker and killed Karli Morgenthau but she gets welcomed back into Uncle Sam’s good graces. The difference, of course, is that Sharon didn’t do her killing on camera for all the world to see.

What’s interesting, however, is that even though John Walker was stripped of all his titles and condemned, he did not face any lasting legal repercussions for killing. And that’s how he was able to throw on the stars and stripes, grab a makeshift shield, and head out to help Sam and Bucky save the day. 

That leaves John Walker in an interesting place as the show concludes. He’s certainly not a hero in the public eye but he’s also not a villain. “U.S. Agent” is a bit of a drab branding choice for his new superhero venture (even if it is comic-accurate), as is Val’s choice of a Cap costume that replaces the blue with the black. But Val’s first super-soldier appears to be on his way back to public respectability. And this leads nicely into our next question…

Who Is Sharon Carter Talking To?

As previously discussed, The Falcon and The Winter Soldier’s post-credit scene isn’t too Earth-shattering. In it, Sharon Carter receives a pardon from the U.S. intelligence community. As she leaves the courthouse (which gets A LOT of screentime in these last two episodes) Sharon calls someone and says “start lining up buyers. Super Soldiers might be off the menu but we’re about to have full access to government secrets, prototype weapons, you name it. Should be something for everyone.” 

That seems like some bad news! But who exactly is Sharon talking to?

Well one possibility is that she’s speaking with one of her Mardipoor underworld contacts from her time as Power Broker. But merely selling off government secrets and tech seems like a bit small potatoes for the now very powerful Sharon Carter. It’s more likely that Sharon is preparing to build her own superteam…which makes her quite like another powerful lady from The Falcon and The Winter Soldier. 

Contessa Valentina Allegra De Fontaine or simply Val (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) clearly has her eye on developing her own Avengers as well. Because one U.S. Agent does not a super team make. Sharon and Val could very well be joining forces to create a force that could rival Earth’s mightiest heroes. Whether they’re called Dark Avengers, Thunderbolts, or something else, a new crew seems to be on its way.

Will Sam Lead The Next Avengers Team?

Typically the Avengers don’t have an elected leader. Tony Stark provided the funding and Steve Rogers provided the inspiration to go into battle. But now Tony and Steve are both gone. Is the newest Captain America capable of stepping into a leadership role?

Well let’s make something clear from the top. Following the events of Avengers: Endgame, it’s not even a guarantee that the Avengers are a thing anymore. Natasha Romanoff kept the lights on while half the world was snapped away. But even she is gone now. Thus far, Disney+’s series haven’t hinted at an incoming team-up aside from Val’s dastardly plans.

Still, the Avengers (or a team like them) will have to assemble again one day. Once they do, Sam seems to be in a prime spot to take on the mantle of leadership. He doesn’t just have Cap’s shield, he also has his moral clarity. 

What’s Next for Zemo?

Baron Zemo, bless him, got everything he wanted out of The Falcon and The Winter Soldier. He got to take a little break from being imprisoned, wear a nice puffy coat, and most importantly: eliminate the threat of super soldiers once again. Yes, it was the Baron’s butler who took out the last four remaining Flag Smasher soldiers. 

All that’s left now is to retire to a life of quiet contemplation in his Raft prison cell, right? Well, not really. There is still one rogue super soldier out there in the form of John Walker. Zemo is simply too capable a schemer and too compelling a villain to stay in the Raft forever. It’s unclear what’s next for the Steve Rogers “tree” of Marvel movies. But whenever Sam, Bucky, and John Walker turn up in a film or TV show again, Zemo is sure to make another appearance. 

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Why Weren’t Sam and Bucky Cooking a Crawfish Boil?

Finally, the most important question. The final scene of The Falcon and The Winter Soldier features a lovely celebration where Sam returns home to Louisiana and brings his friend Bucky for a family food party. While much of the scene is devoted to seeing the novelty of the fearsome Winter Soldier playing with children, we do get some quick glimpses of the food being prepared and I’ve gotta say: grilled shrimp wouldn’t have been my first choice.

I have no doubt that the Wilson family grilled shrimp recipe is superb (particularly if it’s a Cajun recipe). But grilling some shrimp on a barbecue grill just seems woefully deficient for a party this size. Why not just go with a classic Louisiana crawfish boil? That’s a fun activity for the whole crew and will make a lot more food. Plus, they’re already boiling the corn cobs!

Also, it must be said that Bucky appears to come to this event with a pitiful store bought Oreo cake. That’s why Sam gets to be Captain America and you don’t, Bucky.

The post The Falcon and The Winter Soldier Episode 6 Ending Explained appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/32HOaRT

[jellyryans]

daisuga winter weekend 2017, day one

prompt: gloves/socks/boots

Daichi just wants to kiss his boyfriend, but Suga has other plans. (1054 words)

Read it on ao3 or below the cut!

He didn’t usually bite the skin around his nails. It was a nasty habit, and it bothered the hell out of him when other people did it, yet there he was, the tender skin between his teeth and blood on his tongue.

Daichi couldn’t help it. The hours had dragged, minute by excruciating minute, and all he could think about was kissing his boyfriend. It had been a major problem at work, and it was an even bigger problem while he waited for him in their apartment.

As soon as he heard the front door click shut, Daichi jumped off the couch like a sprinter at the gun, and he met Suga, standing in the genkan, brushing off the flakes of snow that clung to his sleeves. Without missing a beat, Daichi swooped in for a kiss, but Suga held up his arms and stopped him in his tracks.

“I haven’t even been in the house for five seconds,” Suga chided

“Fine, fine,” Daichi mumbled.

He took a dutiful step back to give Suga some space, resigning himself to watching as he took off his thick cable-knit mittens. To his surprise, Suga wore a pair of thin, black liner gloves underneath the mittens, and he took each glove off as slowly as possible, finger by finger.

When the gloves were gone, Suga bent down to untie his boots, the egregiously huge rubber things with faux-fur lining at the ankle that almost hurt Daichi to look at. Suga fingered the knots in the laces until they came undone and loosened each individual cross until he was able to slip his feet out of the boots with no resistance.

Suga smiled as he pulled off the functional gray beanie that Daichi had gotten him the winter before, and, after he ran a hand through his hair and let the silvery strands slip between his fingers, he began unraveling the light blue cashmere scarf from around his neck, loop after loop, winding it around his other hand like a ball of hand-wash-only cotton candy.

Daichi shifted his weight from one foot to the other as Suga unzipped his winter coat, a puffy beige affair with useless toggles on the front and a comically large fur-lined hood that made him at least three inches taller at full puff. The thought made Daichi laugh, so he did, and Suga rolled his eyes as he pulled the sleeves off, first the right, and then the left. He hung the coat up on the peg next to Daichi’s plainer, some would argue more useful, one and stepped further into the house.

“Finally,” Daichi said. He stepped into Suga, but he was denied a second time.

“Just calm yourself,” Suga said with a sly smile. “I’m not done.”

Daichi made a show of looking at Suga’s winter gear already hung on the wall.

“Patience is a virtue,” Suga sang.

The p-word made Daichi’s skin prickle and he responded with an undignified pout, but he kept his distance and tried his best to stop his feet from tapping.

“Good boy,” Suga cooed and shrugged off the navy blue cardigan that hung loosely around his shoulders, folding it neatly and setting in on the knee-high shelf in the hallway. Then, he unbuttoned the thick collared shirt underneath.

He did it so slowly that Daichi had half a mind to reach out and unbutton it himself.

When the shirt came down over Suga’s shoulders, Daichi was about to surge forward, waiting be damned, but he paused when Suga gripped the bottom of the white, long-sleeved layer under the button-down and pulled it over his head to reveal yet another long-sleeved shirt, light blue and tightly drawn over his skin.

“Suga,” Daichi groaned, and when Suga’s hands moved to the button of his pants, Daichi started to suspect something. “What the…”

Suga only laughed as he popped the button and inched the pants down his thighs.

Daichi shook his head in disbelief. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Instead of skin, Daichi almost saw himself reflected in the dark black shine of leggings. Suga stepped out of his pants and folded those as well. He smirked, never breaking eye contact with Daichi as he pulled off his socks, thick navy and white winter hiking socks, to reveal another pair made of soft, purple wool.

“No…”

“Yes,” Suga chirped, stripping off the purple socks with dramatic flair, leaving him in what Daichi prayed was the last pair of socks he would see that evening.

Suga stood in the hallway with his hands on his hips, down to one pair of thin white socks, delicious black leggings, and a shirt that left nothing to the imagination. He only had a second to gloat before Daichi surged forward.

“You did that on purpose,” Daichi said, peppering kisses up Suga’s neck, behind his ear, and on his cheek.

Suga wasn’t phased by the accusation; instead, he leaned into each and peck of Daichi’s lips and shivered as Daichi ran his hands over the thin material of his bottom layers. “Did what, my darling?”

“You know what.”

“Dressed appropriately for winter?”

Daichi nipped Suga’s neck. “Right, because you wear that much clothing every day.”

“Maybe I put on a few extra layers this morning,” Suga admitted, letting his head fall back to accommodate Daichi’s roaming lips.

“Just a few?”

“Just a few.”

“You enjoy torturing me,” Daichi whispered into Suga’s skin.

“I’m sorry you see it that way,” Suga said, planting a kiss right on the side of Daichi’s lips, lingering just long enough for Daichi to want to chase after him when he pulled away. “Because you started it, forgetting to kiss me before you left this morning.”

Daichi snorted, nuzzling closer and pulling Suga flush against him. “That explains it then.”

“Explains what?”

“Explains why I couldn’t stop thinking about kissing you all day.”

Suga snorted and pulled back just far enough to point a finger in Daichi’s face. “I’m glad I tortured you before the sweet talk, otherwise I might’ve felt bad.”

“Might’ve?”

Suga wriggled out of Daichi’s grasp and grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together. “You’re right,” he said, “I might not’ve felt bad.”

“That’s what I thought,” Daichi said with a laugh, letting Suga pull him deeper into their apartment.

[vickyvioletdraws]

COMIC SINS - Ch. 24 Departer

Chapter 24. Departer

Deep in a snowy forest where the air nipped and the walls were dark, a distant echo illuminated the void. Muffled sounds gave life to an otherwise dead cavern. Passing the trees and the mounds of frost, two figures trudged through the thick snow.

An ivory monster had made his way through a mysterious passage, one that enabled him to traverse large distances throughout his prison. Enough to flee an imminent threat, but not enough to escape the Underground.

By his side walked a small human, their short legs struggling to get through the tall mounds of puffy ice. Deeply, they shivered, having a minor regret in wishing to come here, at least in comparison to their previous environment.

After several minutes of their trek, the young human perked up. “Where are we going?” Frisk asked politely, trying not to sound whiny. The small child was once again donning a pair of fuzzy slippers and a thickly lined hoodie-- armor for the winter that although it helped, was still not proper attire for this sort of weather.

“chill out pal, we’re almost there.” Sans replied, cracking a little joke along the way. His friend giggled at this, and he looked down at them, internally congratulating himself. “still got it.” He whispered to himself so quietly that not even his friend had heard it.

The pair had finally made their way to a small clearing, one that began with a sign that was just barely held up by its posts, as its fabric had many cuts throughout. “Welcome to Snowdin” could be read, despite what it had been through.

Just further up, Frisk could see familiar structures towering in the distance. “Oh, oh! I know this place!” They spouted, the name of where they were at the tip of their tongue. Two connected buildings came into focus, and Frisk could read their signs. “This is where we first landed,” They continued, pointing at a useless pile of snow on the ground. “And that’s the Inn where you slept for a while!” The energetic child gestured.

“heh heh,” The skeleton nodded. “good memory, kid.” He said, ruffling the human’s short hair.

Frisk ran up ahead just a few feet in front and turned around, walking backwards as to still converse with their friend. “So where are we headed? Is it the ‘Librarby’?” They prodded, making a little jab at the misspelled sign.

Sans could not help but crack a tiny smirk at the child’s antics. “we’re heading over to my place to pick up a couple things. you’ll see.” He insisted.

The two figures trotted along with a pace much faster than before. Together, Frisk and Sans passed several more buildings, all of which Frisk had familiarized themselves with, and all of which had external damage from a sharp object, including the aforementioned ‘Librarby’.

The human and skeleton stopped at a small residence. At his front door, the two entered the wrecked house, the locked door only opening for Sans. Groping the wall with his bony hand, the light switch somehow worked only for Sans as well. The main room lit up. Dirty clothes, broken furniture, and torn up bits of couch still decorated his home living room like a family of training dummies lived here. Loose cotton and evidence of knives included.

Sans let out a rather long and deep sigh. “i am way too tired for this.” He groaned, beholding the great mess that was now his. “alright. i’ll admit it.” He glared down at the floor right in front of him where a pair of socks lay that appeared to be in better condition than the ones he was wearing. “i’m also way too lazy to do anything about it, either.”

Even to the human, the room was quite the dreadful sight. Frisk reached up and tugged on his white t-shirt to acquire his attention. “I’ll help you clean up when you’re ready.” They smiled upward, weakly. “Don’t worry about it, I don’t like doing chores, either.”

The ivory skeleton chortled softly. “thanks, buddo.” He said sincerely. He gave the human a quick hair-ruffle before hobbling up the stairs. “i’ll be just a second.”

Frisk waited patiently as Sans expended effort climbing the stairs. The child observed the home in a new light-- literally-- and all the cuts and bruises throughout the walls appeared less scary to them. The couch still did not look that great, however. It was possible that the furniture was beyond repair.

Sans made his way inside the locked room on the far right of the hall, whose door had a frightening, gaping hole in the middle. The monster shut the door behind him. Frisk moved their head around trying to see inside through the big hole, but there was not much to see from that distance.

Some ruffling noises emitted from the mysterious room, but that was about it. Sans dug through junk hidden away for several minutes, and Frisk had no idea what it was that he even needed. Sheepishly, the child glared down at a piece of couch. It was just a corner, but it appeared rather comfy. Frisk sat down and thought. It’s just as comfortable as it looks.

A rattle of a door knob. The human jumped at the abrupt sound. Promptly, the chubby monster had gotten what he needed and was all ready to head out. The skeleton shut the door a little louder than intended. “i got a little something for ya to keep you warm.” He started up. Sans came down the steps almost excitedly and presented a crimson piece of fabric, one that was rather tattered and worn, and also a touch dirty towards the edges. The innocent one stood up to see what the fuss was about. The ivory monster got up close and wrapped it around the child nurturingly, the red scarf proving to be quite warm.

The little human stroked the fabric, testing its soft textures. Frisk beamed. “It’s really cozy!”

“i’m glad.” Sans began. “it was my brother’s. i know he would want you to have it.”

Clenching the scarf tightly, Frisk looked up in disbelief. “Really?! Are you sure…?” The skeleton closed his sockets and nodded gently. He could not have been more certain. “Thank you, Sans.” They mumbled shyly. “I love it.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

The wind was howling, and the winter air was vastly more cold than anywhere else in all of Snowdin. The icy trail was narrow and surrounded on both sides by a rushing river. The air fell thinner in this part of the Underground, and the fog was so thick that the child could barely even see the bluffs on either side.

Leading the way, the ivory monster came to a halt. He stared at the ground for a moment. It was difficult to read him.

The small human shuffled in their stance. Frisk could not see very far from the little clearing where they stood. Clumps of snow blew through the air causing many flakes to get caught in their short hair. They imagined that they were likely sparkling in the mysterious winter scene. Still, the child wondered, why the two of them were out in the middle of nowhere where it grew more frigid.

Sans did not look up from the ground. He breathed in loudly. “so frisk...” The white monster started up mysteriously. “what do you know of funerals?” He subtly cleared his throat. “the traditions, i mean.”

Frisk was confused by the random question, but then they felt a sort of gripping sensation in their chest. They were getting an idea of what was going on. “Not much.” They replied uncomfortably. “I’ve never been to one myself, so I can’t say for sure.” They looked down at their slippers in deep thought. “People get put in a box and…?”

“well forget all that.” Sans interrupted. “we’re doing it the monster way.”

“S-so...” Frisk stuttered, trying to get a clear picture. “Is this… where...” They focused intently on the ground as Sans was. They tried to find the words, terrified they might bring up a sensitive topic.

“yeah.” Sans began to finish the sentence. “this is where he died.” Sans’ matter-of-fact statement hung in the air for a solid minute, the Underground’s temperature dropping rapidly. The skeleton exhaled suddenly as if he were holding his breath the entire time. The human most certainly was. “this is where we will hold the ceremony. it won’t be very much, though, i’m not good at these sort of things.”

Frisk shifted. “I’m sure he would appreciate whatever you have planned.” The child assured, trying to ease the tension in the atmosphere.

Sans pulled out a small object from inside his rib cage. It looked like a flower pot. “well, kid,” He began, winking suggestively at his small friend. “monster funerals, technically speaking… are cool as heck.” The human emitted a faint smile at this. The white monster continued. “when a monster passes on, their bodies turn to dust.”

Sans reached in and revealed a few more random items, laying them on the ground. The first one was a small cube, its surface adorned with geometric stickers in a variety of colors-- an object that the monsters certainly must have gotten from the Surface. Frisk recognized the puzzle block-- it was a rubik's cube. Next, Sans gently put down a children’s book with an image of a fluffy bunny on the cover, followed by a container of frozen leftovers, and a couple of action figurines that looked like dinosaur superheroes. Lastly in front of them all, he set up a standing picture frame which had an old wooden border with grains and knots. Behind the frame’s glass was an image of a monster that was quite tall and skinny, though it looked a lot like Sans. The monster’s smile was bright and true.

“we take that dust and spread it on that person’s favorite things.” The objects below were already coated in a fresh layer of snow. Sans placed one bony hand inside the flower pot and pulled something out-- a fistful of silver dust. “and then that person’s essence will live on in those things.” Ever so gently separating his phalanges, Sans cast out his arm so that the silver dust could fall down upon its final resting place.

A sharp, bubbly sniff cried out a few feet away. Frisk was in tears.

“h-hey kid!” Sans spat out when he finally noticed the human trembling uncontrollably. The child was desperately trying to hide their reddened face with the crimson scarf. “kid, what’s the matter?” He pleaded, setting the flower pot on the ground to attend to his friend. He gently held the child’s shoulders.

Frisk sniffed harder than before, but more openly. “I d-didn’t even know him… b-but… I feel like I d-do...” Their words growing less intelligible as they went on.  

Sans looked down at the snow beneath his bony feet. “well, kid, i think he knew you. the real you. and i know he’d be really proud of where you are today.”

Shaken, the small human looked up, clearly in need of blowing their stuffed up nose. “R-really…?”

He nodded his round skull. “i know it, frisk.” He comforted. Sans took a step back, picking up the flower pot once more. The pot was nearly empty. Most of its contents were already rested securely where it belonged. Sans smiled with certainty and raised the pot just above his head and turned it upside down. The remaining bits of dust fell atop his skull in a short puff. He laughed to himself quietly. “wow.” He exhaled in deep relief. “i never thought i would ever get to do that.”

Rubbing their chilled arms, Frisk tilted their head curiously. “Do what?”

“have papyrus’s funeral.” Sans stated, somehow at ease with the words. “all this time, since he died… i had to do what i could to protect what was left of the underground. it all went by so fast! everyone i knew disappeared, their dust slipping away from my grip before i even knew what happened. i had to be ready to stop the mass murders before it was too late.” The skeleton looked down at where his palm would be, its surface coated in silver dust. “and then the resets began. the not good kind. every morning i would wake up, ready to give that monster my all. ready to take back what was once mine. weeks. i hadn’t had sleep, i hadn’t had rest… my fate would have been doing that over and over for an eternity until i finally turned to dust. it was hell.”

Silence filled the room, the misty air went through the pair.

“until...” The skeleton ventured on. “i found you.” Sans laughed to himself weakly, white specs still fixated on the ground. “i suppose i have flowey to thank for all this, too… but you?” He tilted his skull up, just a bit, to look at Frisk. “you gave me hope. i can never thank you enough for that.”

“You’ve just been...” Frisk began. “Too busy to hold the ceremony.”

“yeah.” Sans concluded. “although. i bet that if i were the one who died… papyrus would have done the same.” He took a little moment to meditate on the thought. “heheheh, it would be well planned and extravagant, that’s for sure!” The two chuckled to each other at the notion.

Sans placed the pot on the ground in finality. Leaning back upward, the skeleton took notice to the large clumps of silver dust still clinging to his white shirt. Reaching up, he grabbed what he could and pointed it towards Frisk. The child smiled, covering their face with the already dusty scarf. Sans playfully flicked the lump of dust at the small one’s hair, and they giggled from the soft impact.

“he always believed you could do the right thing.” The monster assured the small human. Frisk jokingly shoved him away. Sans gazed longingly at his new friend, a being filled with so much innocence and purity. It reminded him of someone. “heh. he always believed in you.”

End.

——————————————————–

CHAPTER ARCHIVE