#a bit of a cast of characters scene this one. it's very brief and not a central part of the fic but it's nice to have

[magistralucis]

The Lantern Fair [Zultanekh/Djoseras snippet]

(More of the same fic I was writing in this post. After Szarekh imposes peace on their dynasties, the two princes roam a festival together and talk kindly side-by-side. The inspiration for this scene borrows from a flashback Trazyn has in The Infinite and the Divine, a wish-lantern ceremony to hail good health for the new year. Lantern fairs are a very familiar aesthetic to me (I'm Asian), and I wanted to draw something from that mood, that bright and breathless nowhere. More below cut.)

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It was like how he'd claimed, over the peace treaty they signed, that the next time they spoke it would be to greet Djoseras as dynast. In truth, that never came about, because they did meet again shortly afterwards. Szarekh's peace had far-reaching consequences. All the way over in Gheden, at a New Year's festival, did the two princes meet once more - where among the lords of a hundred dynasties, he recognized Djoseras right away.

"Hail to you, fair kynazh! Come alone, then, or with Oltyx in his splendid magnificence?"

It's a miracle what being in neutral territory can do, as haughty as the Nihilakh are and were. Helps to keep things objective.

Here is a catalogue of their last mortal meeting. Zultanekh is portly and handsome, Djoseras slim and graceful. Zultanekh wears rich warm fabrics, Djoseras cool and plain. Zultanekh is fond of the finer things in life, and would never say no to a sparkling goblet of sulphur-wine, while Djoseras is perfectly at home with a glass of tea. ("That's different," he'll protest when Zultanekh inquires if he does not drink with his brother, "Oltyx is my warrior's life.") In the company of others Zultanekh is a mirthful giant, a bold and booming and vivacious fire of a man; Djoseras, on the other hand, is a soft-spoken august creature, dark-haired and dark-eyed like a well kept secret.

Those eyes fix into his now. "Come together, and he is splendid indeed." Djoseras's voice is as stoic as ever, before it sharpens a little and his eyes flash with warning. "But I must tell you now: there's no room for two on the throne of Ithakas, no matter your fox-cunning."

That's his red hair again. The Crown Prince laughs. "Zultanekh gave you his word, did he not? He will not reckon with your brother. It is not Zultanekh you ought to worry about, but the admirers from your coreworlds, which he appears to be accumulating at a rapid pace."

He nods towards the square. He hardly needs to single out Oltyx among the crowd; ever since the younger scion came of age, he has been much wooed and courted, evidenced by the many lords surrounding his person. Standing closest to him is an exceptionally beautiful youth, turning heads by virtue of his existence, yet with eyes for Oltyx alone. ("The heir to the House of Aetis," Djoseras will explain later, betraying the slightest distaste in his tone, "on Sedh. His radiance is well known, though 'tis a pity to shine in a fringeworld.") The prince's sidelock has been cut and he is sturdier than ever, standing proud as a war hero ought to stand.

A fine sight, but a time come and gone for the older ones. "Already it does men our age no good, all this posturing and flattering. Be reassured that Zultanekh prefers a calmer soul. After all, is it not peacetime?"

It ought not to work, this level exchange of words. Peace does not become the necrontyr. Even so, Zultanekh is rewarded when the kynazh's expression softens in response. "Then it is not just you, since a dose of calm will do us all good," he muses, before - finally - a little smile breaks through. "I wish you luck in finding it, Crown Prince."

Not the thin blade-edged smiles of war. A genuine one, soft and slightly modest.

"Oh, I shan't struggle. Ithakas is a rose-garden even in winter."

He wants to see how far he can take this. If Djoseras was being his fastidious self he'd have pointed out that's the Nihilakh, with all the bright lights and vast nocturnal gardens surrounding them at present, but he has not. Zultanekh's eyes hood over with daring, and not a small amount of pleasure, as he steps forwards and offers his hand. "Since this is no place for our aged souls, Kynazh Djoseras, and the youth are content where they are - what say you to a walk?"

Djoseras glances down at it. Looks away, silver robes shimmering as he walks straight past him.

Stops, some eight steps ahead, before turning around.

"For once the Crown Prince would best lead." He says, and grins, sending love's long-lost shock though Zultanekh like a catastrophe.

For a moment he stares, heart stirred to breaking point, before collecting himself. Outwardly it's as if nothing happened. But for once, he feels he can do naught but follow.

Let it be known that Gheden that night was a phantasmagoria of wonders. Along every quarter incense burns sweet upon altars, and the whole place is lit up like the sun, though the winter be cold and dark. As the princes walk through the Lantern Fair they are shined upon like dialectics, turquoise like polar night against Zultanekh's red, the gold mellowed by Djoseras's silver. They spend long stretches of time in silence to take it all in, but spend just as long in deep conversations. Lost between a hundred dynasties, for this one night they might talk man to man - and there's a surprising amount of the world they see alike.

They see other things too. Other people. High up on a ziggurat they glimpse their host, the lead archivist of the Nihilakh, playing senet with the famed diviner of the Sautekh. Now that's a pair seething to strike like vipers one moment, yet are as thick as thieves the next, couched in some arcane understanding afforded by mutual experience. The young could stand to learn from them. They trade silent bows with the Overlord of Pyrrhia, who is alone and melancholy as always. Perhaps he will be so until the end of the world. Zultanekh points out on a balcony the nemesor from the East, the one who oversaw their peace treaty, fanning himself slowly as if he's seen it all. Djoseras expresses some misgivings about his commoner vargard, not in that he's present but that he is idle, nestled faithfully by his master's side. "That may well be the nemesor's wish," Zultanekh suggests gently after they've passed by, for it did not escape his notice how content the pair looked. The Crown Prince has a generous heart for enjoyment. "Does heka preclude rest, Djoseras? No, it does not. He has every right to command it as much as he would action, and to do so tonight makes sense."

Djoseras sighs, exasperated. "They are too leisurely out here in the East, it is unorthodox; it shall be their detriment." What follows, however, is no moral judgement on the nemesor nor the vargard, but a surprisingly vulnerable confession. "I have thought... much about this peace of Szarekh's, in the time we have been apart. Doubtless he wishes for us to be at ease. The necrontyr have ever wished for a purpose, and it would not do to carry our many grudges into it. Yet I do worry about where that leaves us, whether in his pursuit of his great purpose he will erase all of ours. Will we remain how we were after this war? Or will we be subsumed - dissolved - vanished into this calling of the Silent King?"

"Might we not change but remain ourselves?" Zultanekh does not give much thought to those things. He's had the privilege of not needing to, it's true - it's not the Ogdobekh who are concerned about their independence, nor how to define themselves - but for most part, it is simply due to his easygoing nature, confident in every course Anathrosis set them upon. "If not for Szarekh's treaties, would Zultanekh have believed that he would one day walk the same road as the prince of Ithakas? To agree on peace was itself a shift in our ways of thought. Who's to say we cannot permit more?"

"But I do not wish to be changed. I should like to remain myself, thank you very much."

It is clear his answer displeases the kynazh, although he does not have the will to pursue it strongly. After all, it will be millions of years before Zultanekh will understand Djoseras envied him this night, and lamented he could not be the same. Djoseras pauses, his cheeks flushed with rare emotion (Zultanekh admires the height and curve of them quietly), before he glances up at Zultanekh and all is calm again. "I apologize, Prince Zultanekh. It's just that we have been shaped by war, my brother and I. Knowing that we go from there to another war, I..."

A lock of hair has fallen across his forehead, disturbing the surface. Zultanekh longs to brush it back for him. "I do not know whether to call that change, meaningfully speaking."

"If it would reassure you, I can say this much: between the old gods and fair Djoseras, Zultanekh knows whom he would rather have as his enemy. Is it not meaningful that the nature of the combatants is different?" Zultanekh smiles then, and bids the kynazh stand closer; there's a group of Nihilakh lords passing by. It's not quite hand-holding, but Djoseras does not refuse him when Zultanekh touches over his shoulder, which feels like victory enough. "Like you, I was forged by war. I am curious to see what follows it. Say that Szarekh has his way, that the Old Ones are defeated - will we choose peace again, or disorder? I do not know, but I am eager to find out."

"Eager?"

"Yes. Perhaps some day, you will see the excitement in it too."

[writershapeholeonthedoor]

Lay all your love (on me)

Pairing: Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

Summary: You get hired to be Elizabeth’s love interest in her new movie and nothing could prepare you to how your life would change upon meeting her

Disclaimer: English is not my first language

MASTERLIST

When you got the call that the part on the upcoming rom-com was yours, you could barely believe it. It took you days and actually signing the contract to fully believe that was about to happen - you finally got an important part in a big movie with some big stars. After struggling with your career for years now, that was very refreshing.

You didn’t know much about the movie plot at first, just a few bits that were enough for you to know you would be the romantic interest for the protagonist, but that was about it. You didn’t know who the protagonist was going to be - you were fairly sure they hadn’t hired anyone yet - but that didn’t stop you from going out with your friends to celebrate. It was a big moment, something that could really change your career, so you held nothing back to party and have a great time.

Weeks later, you were informed your romantic interest had finally been chosen and you almost yelled from the top of your lungs when the name Elizabeth Olsen was announced. Of course you knew who she was and was so, so, so excited to work with her. As soon as her name was announced, the media started giving the movie much more attention as well and you could barely contain your excitement to get the shooting started. You got to work with a Hollywood star who made several Marvel movies and a very successful TV show, not to mention all of her other works that you were a big fan of. Not only that, but you would play a couple and you couldn’t wait until you were finally told the exact day the shooting would start.

You would have to travel to another country, but you weren’t too worried about that. London was a nice place to be for a couple of months until you guys wrapped the movie, even if you would live in a hotel for that time being. You even got to the city a day before she had to just to make sure you weren’t jet-legged before going to the set for the first time. The only thing that slightly worried you a bit was that the director had forego a table reading for the entire cast, which meant you guys would only meet on the first day of working together, something that didn’t always work out the right way.

Even so, on the first day you had to be on the set, you woke up super early to be able to have a nice breakfast and get ready, and then you called for a cab to take you to where the shooting was going to happen. Most people had no idea who you were yet, but an assistant was waiting for you to take you to the director for a quick chat before going to hair and make-up. You knew the director already - since he was obviously there for your audition - although that didn’t make you any less nervous to be standing in front of him while the man talked about what was expected of you. He gave you a brief explanation of your character and how you should behave when the cameras were rolling, then you talked about the first scene you would shoot.

“We’re only going to need you after lunch since we’re shooting a few other things this morning with Ms Olsen and other characters,” he explained. “But be here around two and we’re getting started, okay?”

You could only nod along because you would never be stupid enough to disagree with someone who had been working in the industry since before you were born. “Is there anything specific I need to do for the scene? I read the script that was sent to me, but-”

“Oh, shit,” the director interrupted you with a grunt. “Bella, did we send her the new shooting schedule?” Upon seeing your panicked face and the assistant blank stare, he only sighed and shook his head. “Fine, then we have something for you to work on. We changed the scenes we’re shooting today because one of the actors had a problem with their agenda. My assistant here will give you the new part we’re doing today, so you’ll have new things to memorize.”

And that’s how your nerves got a thousand times worse.

You had been beating yourself up for weeks, putting a lot of pressure on your shoulders to do an impeccable job, to not screw over your big opportunity and, especially, to make a good first impression. You trained your lines in front of mirrors and with a close friend several times, and now suddenly things had changed and you didn’t feel like you had enough time to work on the new scene for it to be as good as you wanted it to be. However, once again, you didn’t try to tell other people how to do their job. You just accepted the new script and locked yourself with the make-up department to study the pages while they did their work.

It took you very little time to realize what scene you were supposed to be doing that day. On your very first day, nonetheless. It was a scene where your character and Elizabeth’s character held a small conversation before kissing. You were going to be kissing Elizabeth Olsen that day and you were not even a little bit prepared for that.

“You seem nervous, honey,” one of the oldest ladies in the room said when her assistant walked off to grab something.

You hadn’t noticed you were bouncing your leg until she pointed it out, but, once you did, you quickly froze and, with wide eyes and blushing cheeks, looked at her. “I’m not.”

“Everything is going to be fine,” she said with a low chuckle, clearly not believing in you.

“Yes, but…” You took a deep breath and let your eyes go through the pages again. “This is big, you know? And I’m not. I can’t screw this over.” After looking up again, you saw the way the woman was looking through her make-up kit to find something and it made you bite your lip as if you were waiting for it to be another failure of your day. “I wish I had bumped into her in the hallways or something.”

Thankfully, the make-up artist found what she was looking for and went back to her work. “Who are you shooting with?”

She was apparently used to having people freaking out on her chair and she was nice enough, kind and gentle, so you had no problem venting out to her a little bit. “Elizabeth.”

“Oh!” A wide smile turned the woman’s lips up. “She was here earlier today, obviously! She’s a gem!”

“Really?”

“Yes! Really nice person, you really have nothing to worry about!”

You hesitated for a second, looked at the scene written on the paper again, and then sighed. “Even if we have to kiss and we never even saw each other before?”

Well, the kind lady didn’t have anything helpful to say about that and you were left with silence once her assistant returned to the room. After your make-up was done, you had an early lunch break, and you ate alone inside a room while glossing over the script like a hawk. The more time went by, the more nervous you got, to the point you were starting to feel the beginning of an anxiety attack coming to bite you in the ass. That would certainly be way worse - way worse - so you decided to take a break for real and take a walk around the studio to think about anything else.

You had half an hour before having to go to the dressing room, so you walked slowly outside, enjoying the not so warm day out while taking calm breaths. You were walking for maybe ten minutes when you saw someone walking over beside an assistant and under an umbrella towards the door. Probably returning from a lunch break herself was Elizabeth Olsen, who didn’t seem to notice you as she walked. That was a perfect opportunity to pick up with her, introduce yourself and make things less weird once you two were standing in front of a camera, but you were too far away and the only way to reach her in time was to run towards her, which was even worse.

So, with a bit of dread in your heart, you watched her going inside and disappearing from your line of sight, and you were once again hit with the thoughts from before. You weren’t actually starstruck or something like that because you were professional and could get your job done, but the fear of somehow ruining things in front of Elizabeth made things worse. She had years of experience in big roles and she was the face of the movie, the protagonist. You couldn’t screw things up on your first scene.

Obsessing over it again, you went to the dressing department while chewing a mint, and popped another two before heading out, both out of nerves and because you were afraid you might have bad breath when you were supposed to be kissing someone. It wasn’t actually kissing, of course, but that would be bad. Very bad.

By the time the director called you for another talk, you had already dried your palms at least five times on the nice pants the wardrobe people gave you. He had a few things to point out, some tips and other requests for you, and you listened attentively. So attentively indeed that you didn’t notice when Elizabeth walked on set as well.

You were shooting inside a room that was supposed to look like a cafe and you had your backs turned to it, entirely missing the other actress walking behind you to talk to someone else. Once your eyes caught her, though, you felt your heart skipping a beat before skyrocketing inside your chest. You didn’t have the opportunity to be that close to her before, but, now that you had, you couldn’t help but take in all the details. From the clothes her character was going to wear, to the light make-up she had on, to the way her hair was falling in soft waves down her back.

Your first thought was that she looked beautiful, but that wasn’t exactly news. You had eyes, you knew who Elizabeth Olsen was before, and you knew she was beautiful. Although, seeing it up close, was certainly a whole new experience. The first thing that crossed your mind was how your imagination really tricked you into thinking she was much shorter than she was, though she was wearing high heels and you weren’t. Your clothes were plainly different since you were wearing jeans, a t-shirt and sneakers, while Elizabeth was wearing a ridiculously short skirt and what you assumed was a crop top besides the heels, of course.

You almost rolled your eyes at that because the director was really trying to make it clear that those characters were opposites - just like the cliche that the opposites attract or something similarly cheesy.

Noticing you got distracted by something, the director followed your eyes and quickly spotted Elizabeth, then saying something that made your heart beat even faster than before. “Elizabeth, come here please.”

You barely had the time to prepare yourself. You tried to discreetly run a hand through your hair, although you thought better about it when you remembered you didn’t have time to go back to hair and make-up, and also held yourself higher with a sudden perfect posture. If anyone else noticed it, no one said a thing, for which you were grateful.

“You know each other, right?” The director asked once Elizabeth stopped in front of you two, but he didn’t give you enough time to answer before starting to ramble about where he wanted you to stand, and what you should do, and when to tell certain things.

You kept stealing glances at the blonde woman in front of you, feeling your face getting warmer and warmer, though there wasn’t much you could do about it. The conversation ended with the director saying you had five minutes before the shooting started and then walking away to talk with someone else, and you didn’t have much of a choice but to follow one of his assistant leads to find your place to be on set. Elizabeth seemed more familiar with things and people already, and she easily sat down at one of the chairs to wait for things to get moving.

Before you realize it, someone is making you sit across from her at the table, and your nerves hit you with full force all at once. “H-Hi. So, uh, this is not weird at all, huh?”

And, as usual, you used humor as a defense mechanism.

Luckily, it did the trick because Elizabeth actually smiled at you, even if it was mostly just polite. “Y/N, right?” She asked, though she obviously knew it was you by now. Even so, you nodded to let her know she was right. “Nice to meet you. I’m sorry we couldn’t meet before, but I just got here from where I was shooting my last job. They wanted to do a table reading, but I couldn’t make it and we were already on a tight schedule.”

Well, that explained some of the rush people seemed to be in. You couldn’t blame her for having a busy agenda, of course, even if that certainly didn’t help with your anxiety. You still offered her a gentle smile and waved a hand. “That’s okay. I mean, not ideal, but okay. I suppose there were worse scenes for us to shoot after literally knowing each other for five minutes,” you joked.

Elizabeth understood what you meant and chuckled - a low, deep sound that made your insides twist a bit and you just knew you would have to work extra hard to end up that job without a new crush on someone that was way out of your league.

You didn’t have time to dwell on that for long because the director soon asked everyone to be on their marks and, a couple of minutes later, he was yelling “action!”.

You did the best you could at that moment. Not your best, but the best you could. You were nervous, you were shaking a bit and your mind was running faster thinking about the kiss you would have to give Elizabeth later on the scene. Were the mints you ate enough? You brushed your teeth twice, but maybe you should’ve done it once more just to be sure. And you didn’t even have the time to discuss with Elizabeth how the kiss would play out. You would like to know if she had any boundaries she wouldn’t like you to cross or what to do with your hands. And, oh God, your palms were sweaty again, you couldn’t just put them on her face.

The first takes were a disaster. The director seemed so disappointed that you could barely look at him, but he was also looking pissed the more he had to cut a scene. The problem wasn’t even your lines since you hit them all at the right time, but it was hard to ignore that Elizabeth and you didn’t seem to have any chemistry. You were still weird around each other, albeit you would have to admit Elizabeth was doing most of the job while you were silently freaking out across from her.

It was a very frustrating two hours before the director decided to go for the kiss. You couldn’t help but wonder if that was his last try before giving up completely, something that you were sure once he decided to call it a day after the first and only kiss you shared with Elizabeth on screen. While you were moping on your chair, you noticed that he called Elizabeth into a corner and they were talking at each other in whispers, and you could swear you saw eyes snapping at you every once in a while, which only made things worse.

You felt like you had already ruined everything. The thing you were most afraid of, and you managed to do just that. No more opportunities in your career because you just proved to a very important director and a well-known actress that you couldn’t do your job.

Jesus fuck.

You left the set faster than anyone could stop you. You knew you were the one to blame for the terrible work you did that day and you wanted a few minutes alone to mop and collect yourself before someone knocked on the door to fire you. You didn’t have trailers though and you weren’t sure if there were any free rooms, so you ended up in hair and make-up again, thinking that you could at least remove it all before crying and ruining your mascara.

“How was it, honey?”

You almost jumped out of your skin when you heard the make-up artist’s voice coming from a corner of the room since you hadn’t noticed she was there, but you soon relaxed when you saw her kind smile directed at you. You couldn’t bring yourself to lie, not really, and maybe talking with someone would prepare you not to cry when you got fired for real, so that’s what you did.

“It was terrible,” you admitted sadly. “I ruined everything. We don’t have chemistry. Like, none at all. I’m waiting for someone to stop by to fire me right now.”

“Fire you? What for?”

She looked genuinely confused by it. “Well, it’s just, you know… They’re not going to fire her. She’s Elizabeth Olsen. She’s the reason why so many streaming platforms tried to buy this movie. They will realize they can find someone better to be her romantic interest. Maybe Aubrey Plaza, since they already did a movie together. They know each other, it will be easier for them.”

“So you think things could be fixed if you knew her better?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged and totally missed the way the woman rolled her eyes at you while you sat down. She was finding it all amusing, even if you were on the verge of crying for ruining your career.

“You met today, didn’t you?” The woman asked and waited for you to nod. “Maybe that’s the problem. You just met.”

You thought about it for a moment, allowing her to start removing your make-up for you even if that wasn’t exactly her job, a frown permanently on your face. “You’re saying I should get to know her better.”

“Of course! Don’t worry too much, honey. It was the first day. They’re not going to fire you on the first day.”

That made sense. Now that someone else pointed it out, you could see that it was very unlikely that they would fire you after one day of shooting. Yes, it wasn’t great and they didn’t have much time to wait for you to catch up, but that only meant you had to be fast to fix things. You didn’t want to lose that gig and you certainly didn’t want to allow people to think you were bad at what you did. You were just nervous. Overly nervous because of your anxiety, that’s all. It was your first big job, you were meeting some important people, the schedule got changed last minute, and you shouldn’t have drank three cups of coffee in the morning, for sure.

You could still fix this.

You just needed to be fast.

“I’m bringing you donuts tomorrow!” You promised as you ran out of the room minutes later, but you didn’t wait for a reply - nor did you add that you would do that if you didn’t get fired.

Your optimism was back and you wasted no time to go find one of the assistants to ask what time you should be there tomorrow - just to be sure you were expected to be there tomorrow - and then you set on your mission to go find Elizabeth. You had no idea what to say or what you needed, but you knew you had to find her to, at the very least, try to change her perception of you.

You were lucky enough to find her alone looking at her phone while she seemingly waited for someone to show up in the hallway where she was standing, so you quickly walked towards Elizabeth and displayed your best smile - now much more relaxed and less nervous. “Hey, good I found you here!”

Green eyes - so damn green, you thought - looked up at you and Elizabeth put her phone away before crossing her arms and waiting for you to stop in front of her. “Hello.”

“I wanted to apologize for today,” you started and gave her no time to interrupt. “I know that was mostly my fault, well, all my fault actually.” You let out a self-deprecating chuckle as you raised a hand to scratch the back of your neck. “I’m sorry, I admit I was a bit nervous. I mean, we met literally minutes before having to shoot together. I’m not used to that.” You dropped your hand and, without realizing it, started to move them around while you talked. “We’re going to shoot that scene again tomorrow and I was thinking that maybe we should get to know each other so things don’t go as weird as they went today.”

Okay, Elizabeth’s eyes were very green. They were so light! And her nose was so cute, slightly turned up. And no one should be allowed to have such perfectly shaped lips like that, it should be a crime, really.

You got lost in your thoughts, you realized, and it made your cheeks go red so fast that you let out an awkward cough just to have an excuse to bring your hand to your face to try to cover it a bit. “Well, I was thinking that maybe you would like to go out with me today.”

That was not what you wanted to say. At all. Oh, fuck.

Elizabeth’s reaction would have been priceless if you weren’t the idiot standing in front of her. Her eyes widened, she took a step back, and her own face went pink. It all happened so fast that it took you a moment to recover as well.

“It's not like a date date,” you quickly said, desperately trying to fix what you did. “I mean, we will have dinner, talk, hang out for a bit, but it doesn't have to be romantic. I mean, it's not romantic!” You corrected, waving your hands around and standing there with your eyes almost falling from your face, and your heart beating way too fast again. Well, so much for trying to save your job. Now you were going to be let down under the accusation of sexual harassment or something like that. You didn’t know if keeping talking was a good or a bad idea, but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop either. “I just thought it might help us lose up a little bit, you know? Get more comfortable around each other. Our first scene together was a very… deep kiss, we didn't have much time to talk before that.”

Elizabeth didn’t say anything at first, but she also didn’t look as surprised as before, so you would count that as a small victory. You waited for her to say something while changing your weight from one leg to the other, hands awkwardly crossed in front of you while also trying not to stare at her for too long. It was the way you were incapable of not being a gay mess that got you in that situation, after all.

“So…” The other woman started eventually and you felt your breath getting stuck in your throat as you waited for the verdict. “Like a dinner?”

“Yes,” you agreed way too fast, just for you then realize it would be better if you acted a bit more like it wasn’t just dinner with a stranger. “And no. If you don’t mind, I think that acting just a little bit like it's a date might help. I could open the doors for example.” Just after you said that, you realized how dumb it sounded. You placed both hands on your waist and took a deep breath. “I will stop talking now before I dig myself a bigger hole,” you mumbled shyly.

Yes, you were now getting fired.

You would have to pray not to have the police knocking on your door either.

God, you really should’ve gone to college like your family wanted you to.

“I don't dislike your idea, but we don’t have much time,” Elizabeth took pity on you, apparently, which you weren’t sure was a good thing. “We have more scenes together to shoot tomorrow.”

Way quicker than you should, you exclaimed: “We can go out tonight!” And, after hearing how eager you sounded, you were fast to add: “If you want.”

Elizabeth didn’t look so certain that it was a good idea indeed, and you pretended not to see when she glanced at you from head to toe because it would only make you blush again - you feared your face would never return to its natural color if you kept blushing like that. “Ok,” the other woman conceded finally.

It was your turn to express how surprised you were by that answer. “Wait, really? Okay! Yeah, great!” You were rambling and, once again, you couldn’t stop. “Just spectacular!” Just spectacular? Really? You had nothing better to say? Could you keep yourself from oversharing things, please? “I will, uh, go now.” And now you were stuttering as well, good. “Just, uh, I will wait for you or I will meet you at the parking lot or…?” You trailed off, now sure you should just stop talking altogether.

“I would like to go back to the place I'm staying to change, if you don't mind,” Elizabeth said.

You wasted no time to nod eagerly at her. “Of course not! That’s perfect.” Yes, because you needed to return the clothes to the dressing department and having a shower also sounded nice. You could back to your hotel and pick something better to wear. It also gave you some time to find out where you could take her. “I can, uh, pick you up if you wish and then we can, hm, go.”

Now Elizabeth grinned at you stumbling over the words and her eyes glanced down for a moment - just enough for you to feel like you could breathe again. “Sounds nice. I have your phone from the group chat they put us in today. I will send you my location when I get there,” she promised.

You sighed in relief, not even trying to hide it. “Sure, sure. Okay.” The rambling was back. “Yes. Perfect.”

“Yes, spectacular,” Elizabeth replied with a slight teasing in her tone that made you relax instantly.

You chuckled mostly at your own awkwardness and then shook your head. “Okay, now I will go.” You pointed over your shoulder with your thumb and saw the blonde woman smile. “See you later.”

Soon - very soon - you came to the conclusion that you were insane.

There was no other explanation, really, because you really asked Elizabeth Olsen to have dinner with you. And then you proceeded to run over your mouth and say it was kind of like a date, but not a real date. You should also not forget that you not only made a fool of yourself - twice in the same day, you might add - but you also managed to make things worse than they were before.

You were certain you would be fired by the end of the week.

But that was the exact thought that made you find enough courage to keep going with your plan. There was no way you could make things worse, you were at least sure of that. So you could keep up with your initial thoughts to get to know her a little better. You might get out of that with a friend, after all.

Also, the idea of having dinner with Elizabeth was a good one. You loved her work and you could spend some time gushing about how amazing she was - something you were sure you would find no problem in doing.

With your mind set to make it all worth it, you tried to find a nice restaurant on your way to the hotel. You tried to use your phone, but your mind was racing too much and you couldn’t comprehend the several reviews from different restaurants online. You read all of them, but no word actually stuck and you barely even understood the restaurant’s names to start with.

“Hey,” you decided to say, leaning over between the seats to get closer to your driver. He seemed like a nice guy, he hadn’t tried to talk to you yet and he put on a nice playlist, so you considered it was safe to ask him. “Do you know any good restaurants in town?”

“Depends. What do you want to eat? And what’s the occasion?”

You left his car with three options in your mind, which was great because you could call them and ask if they would take your reservation. The driver told you the name of another restaurant just before he took off, having leaned on his window to be heard by you, and you raised your thumbs at him in thanks before entering the hotel. You and Elizabeth didn’t say what time you would pick her up, therefore you decided not to take too long to get ready. You showered pretty quickly and chose your clothes after just a few minutes of debating with yourself, and then you grabbed your phone to make some calls.

Two of the restaurants didn’t even pick up the call and you wondered if they were even working that night, and the third one said they didn’t have any free tables. Luck started to smile at you when you called the fourth place the driver had said and they gladly told you they would be waiting for you at any time you decided to drop by. Relieved, you decided to check their name just to be sure you wouldn’t be taking Elizabeth to a food truck around the block. It seemed like a nice enough place, just a small French bistro that you were sure would do just great.

Elizabeth reached out about two hours after you got into your hotel room and you couldn’t say you weren’t surprised that she was still on board with that. You were half expecting her to either text you saying she couldn’t make it or just disappear all night, but you were glad to see that wasn’t the case. After calling for another cab, you took one last look in the mirror to make sure you were looking somewhat good enough, and then you left to meet her.

The address she sent you wasn’t from a hotel and you soon found yourself in front of a building. You texted her to let her know you were there and, after asking the driver to wait for a minute, you exited the vehicle to wait for Elizabeth outside. She didn’t take too long to appear, opening the door and stepping out distractedly, although she immediately caught your attention.

Elizabeth was wearing a simple dark green shirt that clung to her skin perfectly and a black tiered skirt that went down to her ankles. Around her waist, a black belt complemented the look along with the high heels that you weren’t surprised to see. Her hair was pretty much the same as you had seen earlier that day, but she clearly put on some effort to do her make-up, topping it all with red lipstick that made your brain shut for a while.

You were all of a sudden feeling undressed, though you couldn’t imagine having anything in your wardrobe that would get even close to that.

“Wow,” you breathed out once she spotted you and started walking towards you. “You look… gorgeous.

“Oh, thank you.” You noticed a blush rising from her neck to her cheeks and how she raised a hand to put her hair behind her ear and you just smiled at the cute scene.

Holy crap, you didn’t even know someone could be so beautiful.

Noticing you were staring at her again, you shook your head and pointed to the car waiting for you two. “Right, so, we should, uh, go.”

The drive to the restaurant took a while and you tried to keep the conversation light because the driver could hear you two talking and it would do no good. Elizabeth kept her replies short, but she shot back you a few questions - mostly about your career and how you got into acting. She admitted not knowing much about you before they called her to be the protagonist of the current movie you were working on, but you didn’t mind about that. She seemed interested enough to learn now and that’s all that mattered. Things still felt a bit awkward, but you were going to blame that on the fact that you had to watch your words since you weren’t alone.

“I hope you don’t mind the place,” you told her after stepping out of the car. The bistro behind you was even smaller than you initially thought and it looked mostly empty, which made you start rethinking your decision to take Elizabeth there. “But I was told they have an amazing menu.”

“It looks nice,” Elizabeth replied with a small smile.

You motioned for her to walk first but, before she could open the door of the restaurant, you remembered what you said before and took large steps to beat her to it - which would certainly look ridiculous to someone looking from outside, but there wasn’t much you could do. You opened the door for her and waved your hand dramatically to indicate the way to the other woman. Elizabeth arched one eyebrow before chuckling softly and walking inside the bistro. She paused to wait for you to do the same and you were blessed with a smile when you looked at her again.

Before you could say anything, though, someone approached you to take you both to your table. After you were sitting, you allowed yourself a moment to just look around the bistro, noticing the small details and the cozy environment while Elizabeth looked over the wine charter to pick something. It was a nice place indeed, especially where you were sitting by one of the corners since you asked for privacy, and you almost wished you had tipped the driver better for that only.

“I wanted to apologize,” you said after you placed your order minutes later. Elizabeth looked at you in confusion, so you jumped to explain. “I feel like I might have made you uncomfortable with my rambling earlier. This isn’t a date and I’m sorry if I made it sound like it was. I tend to make jokes when I’m nervous, but they don’t always come out…” you nodded while trying to think about the right way to phrase it, “as I wish they did.”

“You didn’t make me uncomfortable, don’t worry,” Elizabeth told you calmly. “I understood where you were trying to get and what you were trying to say. Like I said, I don’t think this is a horrible idea. It can actually help us out.”

“Yes, that’s another thing I want to apologize for.” You scratched the back of your neck and grimaced. “I kind of ruined the shooting today.”

“You weren’t the only one there, you know?” She offered with a shrug. “Like I said, getting to know each other will help us out. Besides, we’re going to work together for two months, so I guess this is a good start.”

“Even if I put my foot in my mouth?” You wondered, although now you were feeling relaxed enough to feel all your anxiety leave your body at once. It was like you could finally be yourself without the constant fear of doing or saying something wrong.

“Let’s see how the night goes,” Elizabeth joked and you both shared a laugh at that.

Things after that went pretty well.

The wine got there before the food and you both drank while talking about work at first. It was an easy topic, sharing fun stories and anecdotes that made the other laugh, but it soon wandered away from it. You both started talking about family, friends, hobbies, dreams, plans for the future and, before you realized it, you were animatedly chatting, laughing and gesticulating as if you had never once felt nervous around Elizabeth before.

She had a cute laugh that made you want to keep saying silly things to hear it again, and an easy smile that made your heart skip a beat, and green eyes that made you never want to look away, and her voice was so smooth that you wished you could hear her for hours and hours. She was funny, but she was also smart. She talked with passion about her works, about gardening, about her family, about the books she liked to read, and about everything she loved.

Halfway through dinner, you realized you wished it was a date.

It wasn’t surprising because you knew yourself enough to know it might end up happening - Elizabeth was, after all, a very beautiful and interesting woman - but that didn’t mean it made things easier. You were there to forge a friendship with her so you could work together, not to fancy her somehow. Elizabeth was also way out of your league, you couldn’t even bring yourself to dream about anything else happening.

The conversation was happening so smoothly that neither of you realized the restaurant was about to close until one of the waitresses politely told you she would have to collect the plates, but that you could finish off the wine bottle before leaving. That was the second bottle you shared and you were feeling just too happy already, so you declined to drink the rest of it. You were sure you weren’t drunk from the alcohol but from the great time you were having, but it was better safe than sorry. Elizabeth ended up saying she wouldn’t drink it either and you decided to call it a night to allow the employees to go home instead of having to work in a mostly empty restaurant.

You called for a cab once you were outside, thankfully managing to make a car stop in front of you pretty fast, and then you opened up the back door for Elizabeth to enter. You slid behind her, telling her address to the driver, and then you kept talking silently until the car parked in front of her building. You got out first and reached out with one hand to help Elizabeth get out as well before walking her to the door.

“I had a great time,” Elizabeth said as she turned around to face you.

“So did I,” you smiled. “I don’t think I laughed this hard in a long time.”

Her giggle reached your ears, which brought you such a gleeful feeling that you just knew was not a good sign. “Me neither,” she admitted.

When you tell that story years down the road, you would blame the way Elizabeth smiled at you and the way the light made her shine like something from another world for what you said next - though you knew it was just your large mouth speaking before your brain could process the words again. “So, if I wanted to take you out on a date date, would I stand any chance?”

Elizabeth looked at you for a long time before finally replying. “Well, you certainly left a good impression tonight.” She hesitated before talking again. “I would say it made me wish it was a real date. Just a little bit,” she added with a hint of humor, holding her index finger and her thumb just a few inches apart from each other.

You laughed - mostly out of relief - and nodded. “Do you think, well, do you think you have free time later this week? I would love to take you out again.”

“I think we can make that work,” was her answer and, honestly, that’s all you needed to be sure you made the right choice that day.

The director barely recognized you two working together on the screen the next day, so much so that he pulled you both to the side to congratulate you on your performance. You said it was all Elizabeth, but she only rolled her eyes at you and hit your hibs with her elbow before you both shared a laugh. You had your first official date that same Friday at the same bistro, albeit you ordered different dishes this time.

You were officially dating a month later and, by the time you wrapped the movie, there was already some gossip going around about you two. Both Elizabeth and you decided to ignore it and not address it for a while since they were harmless gossip - not to mention that it did wonderful things to the movie’s advertising.

A year later, though, you walked holding hands at the movie premier and you couldn’t bring yourself to care that you were celebrating your first year together promoting the movie that made you meet the love of your life.

[vagabond-umlaut]

two shots of ristretto, please!

One must have heard of espresso, but ristretto? No?

Well, translated to 'restricted' in Italian, ristretto is another version of espresso, but of a sweeter and more intense quality than the latter— though, you reckon, there's no entity in this world, sweeter and more intense than that white-haired, blue-eyed enigma-turned-menace of yours.

▸ yakuza heir! gojo satoru x uni classmate! fem! reader; TIMESKIP; dad! gojo satoru x mom! reader; FLUFF AND HUMOR GALORE; popularising the headcanon that gojo is so terrifyingly gojo for everyone, except his crush; the said crush's smart & not dense, for the first time in my stories; there is yakuza so there's a gun and there's a tiny bit of violence; brief appearance of utahime, shoko, suguru & nanami; POST-TIMESKIP: the most adorable twins ever, sachiko and sachiro, are back, with tons and tons of fluff!!!!!

▸ belongs to the series 'tang!' — same universe as the work 'every rose and its 'twin prickles'' — but you can treat this as a stand-alone fic if you wanna!

▸ i know i described the reader to be smart and stuff, but the thing is: she is smart, of sorts, that is. and the post-timeskip portion is tooth-rottingly fluffy but not for satoru; sachiko & sachiro will never let their papa get some loving from their dearest mama... AND this is 4.4k wc long— idk how i wrote so freaking much! anyways, whatever it is–

▸ i don't own the characters, the image or the divider used. please don't plagiarize or translate or repost this. enjoy reading! ❤️

Gojo Satoru was born with three things.  

His name. 

His looks.  

And, of course– the baggage certain to tag along with the above two. 

Cup of coffee languishing in the frost of your ignorance, you lock gaze, the first time, with the famous infamous scion of the Gojo’s, an awfully stormy morning at the café your friend works at.  

Said friend looks halfway on the path to sweet, sweet dreams, resting her head on folded arms on your table — smiling, you tuck a wayward strand of hair behind the shell of her ear, and return to your sly spying on the group seated couple of feet away. You think you see Gojo look at you yet another time — it must be an error of your eye, you reckon, given how he's giving a sharp grin to the man across from him, in the very next instant.  

Yeah, that's what it is. No one can possibly switch from shooting that level of thoughtful gaze to that level of feral grin in that short span of time. Yeah, it must have been a mistake of your silly eye.  

Anyways, whatever it is, to say you hate drawing attention to yourself will be the greatest understatement of the century— so you decide to look away for a beat, to avoid even the faintest hint of suspicion, eyes going back to the chemical reactions strewn across the mess you call notes— only to snap back to the white-haired boy, widening in horror from the click! then the scene crashing onto your brain.  

Gojo chuckles, eyes flitting from the gun aimed at the space between his eyebrows to the man holding it. "Aww," you register him croon, that self-sabotaging dumbass, "resorting to such cheap violence so quickly, Zenin-san? Grew tired of a civil conversation already? Tsk. What a pity." 

Another time and you think you'll consider this precise moment to be when you wake your friend up and slowly sneak away into the kitchen then out, via the back door. Another day and you know you'll consider this very second to be when you return your focus to your assignment on carbohydrates, all the while hoping you or your friend won't be cast into a brawl none of you are a part of— 

Too bad it isn't another time or another day, though.  

Biting back a grimace, you shut your laptop and rise from your chair with a loud clatter. 

"Forcing someone isn't really a nice way to make a deal, y'know," you hum, walking over to their table and plopping down onto the free seat next to Gojo, "what is better is to explain the pros and cons to the one opposite to you and try to convince them. Gently. And if that doesn't work, manipulate the hell out of them. But this?" you shoot the metal gun a disappointed glance, shaking your head, "this is a method even I know I shouldn't use to get my rival to agree to something, though I'm not from a criminal background." 

The man– Zenin, you correct yourself; the second largest yakuza clan right after Gojo's family, your memory supplies after a beat – gives a slow look from the weapon to you, a scowl appearing on his features. And barks – voice, a disgusting grating noise to your sleep-deprived self.  

"Who the fuck are you, girl? And why the fuck are you interfering in this?"  

You pause. Okay, this wasn't what you were expecting when you first strolled out here. You were expecting a yell, a scuffle; worst case, the gun aimed at your precious brain. But this? One question about your identity, and the other about your reason for approaching them? You haven't prepared yourself for this! 

Frowning, you cast a glance to your left, only to find the white-haired boy stare at you, staggered, with wide eyes and flushed cheeks; then at your friend who's snoring away like she doesn't give a damn about napping at work; then at the man glowering at you.  

You sigh, rubbing your temples. 

"Who the fuck I am... that's for me to know and for you to find out,” you answer, smirking, before growing serious again as you rush to explain, upon catching a murderous glint in the man’s eyes, “I mean, c'mon, y'all are the yakuza. This should be a piece of cake for you, shouldn’t it?"  

The man's glare only worsens in result; stamping down the apprehension in your mind, you continue, "And as for why the fuck I'm interfering in this—"  

You abruptly fall silent.  

Offering the boy beside you a panicky glance.  

Wondering what the hell you can say in reply. 

Should you say, "I've been listening to you threaten the poor boy for a good thirty minutes now, saying he's gonna face dire consequences, or some shit like that, if he doesn't share the area in the east with the Zenin's or refuses to marry their third daughter— who I'm pretty sure, y'all have made into nothing but a maid, a cook and a broodmare. Poor girl, being spoken of by her own family member to a stranger boy, as if she isn't a human being but something with no life or ambition. But, hey, how you raise your kids is honestly your own problem and I’m not here to drill some lesson into your head– though I guess, folks like you could really use some. Anyways, whatever the fuck it is, I'm here because I JUST CAN'T SEE ANOTHER BEING FORCED TO DO SOMETHING AGAINST THEIR WILL. AND I’M GONNA PROTEST AGAINST IT AS LONG AS I’VE A BREATH LEFT IN MY LUNGS." 

The inner-you tsks at the outer-you.  

You groan inwardly, shifting to the next plan already.  

So, must you say, "Gojo's my classmate, who has been sitting behind me since the first class of the year, and very weird to say, but I have also been finding him here at this coffee shop, every day I visit since that day, sitting at this specific table and scribbling in a notebook for hours at end— and, yeah, way weirder to admit out loud, but I guess I have also formed some kind of attachment to him? 'Cause of which, I feel, I get worried when I see him being actively threatened? And, yes, of course– all the while I totally ignore that he's next in line to a notorious criminal family or the fact that he's never even noticed me once before today." 

Another click! bounces off the walls into your ears, making you draw away from your mind back to the situation at hand. You settle for offering a shrug.  

"Why I'm here is because Gojo is one of my acquaintances and I just can't seem to stand someone being forced to do something against their will." 

Your statement earns a mocking laugh from the man, but before you rush to defend yourself and the fact you spoke the truth, a calloused palm rests on your forearm. Gojo's gaze flits from you to the gun still pointed at him then back to you. You feel a mild tremor in his fingers when they meet your skin. Good heavens, Gojo must be really scared, huh? 

His careful voice reaches you, a far cry from the haughty tone he was employing with the Zenin fellow earlier, "It's best if you leave now. Go take your friend and go away. And don't come back here. At least not until sometime later, yeah? Things are gonna get a hell lot messy and I don't want you to see that." 

For the first time in many days, the buzz of caffeine in your veins weakens, giving way to the thrum of worry you feel at Gojo’s words. Has this bastard already accepted his fate!? Hell no! Not if you can help it!!  

You give his arm a light pat. 

"While I leave you here, all alone, huh?" Shaking your head, you click your tongue. "Nope! Not gonna happen, mister. My parents raised me way better than that. Besides, you might not be knowing me but I've been knowing you for a while now, and despite what everyone says of you being the crown prince, or whatever, in the underworld — I ain't leaving you here, with your life at the mercy of a person who doesn't even have a shred of respect for others' freedom of choice and stuff." 

A noisy yawn sounds in the background, soon followed by a noisier series of snores. Gojo's mouth opens and closes a few times, like a funny fish, before he inquires, voice brimming with disbelief, "You... have noticed me? Since when?" 

You blink, then chuckle. "Of course, I have. Since the first day, if I'm being honest here," you reply, then add as a hasty after-thought, so that he doesn't see you as a weirdo, "I mean, it's tough not to notice you, y'know? Not when you're—" 

A deafening crash interrupts you in the middle of your sentence. You look away from the boy to find the man standing now, face contorted in a mix of fury and desperation while he shifts the gun's muzzle from Gojo to you, then back to Gojo, words leaving him in a harsh yell. 

"THE GIRL NOTICED YOU 'CAUSE YOU'RE THE GOJO SATORU AND YOU'RE HANDSOME AS FUCK. NOW, CAN YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP, BITCH? AND YOU — YOU SICK, SPOILT GOJO BRAT– YOU SAID YOU DON'T HAVE A MINUTE TO SPARE? BUT HERE YOU ARE, CHATTING YOUR LIFE AWAY WITH THAT GIRL—" 

A second deafening crash reverberates through the small shop– and you think you see your life flash before your eyes– but not before the man drops to the ground, most probably unconscious and hopefully not too damaged to lead a functional life, and very earnestly not dead. The gun clatters to the ground beside him. You turn to your classmate, eyes wide. Gojo returns your gaze, unblinking and slack jawed. 

Heart thundering in your ears, you hurry to explain yourself, "I–" 

"You smashed that plate on that guy's head." 

Gojo’s blunt words bring you to a still, making your eyes drift to the fragments of the unlucky glass plate, to the unluckier but-totally-deserved-it Zenin, then back to your classmate. A little more awe on the boy’s face and you think his jaw might hit the floor.  

You nod slowly. 

"Yeah, but as self-defence. I mean, you saw how eccentric that man was acting, right? I had to do something to protect both of us," you explain, looking away from the pair of blue eyes watching you closely, to your friend who still seems to be lost in the land of sleep (how much exactly did she drink last night, huh?) to your grey sneakers, voice growing mumbled with every other syllable you utter.  

"But that doesn't mean you've to feel some sort of debt towards me or anything. I too was kind of at mistake then, I guess... what with me rambling so fucking much when there was a literal gun at your head. I should have acted with more tact then – if I had done so, then maybe this mess could've been avoided. I mean, I've never seen these things before in my life, y'know? Except in TV shows, that is. Yet, this foolish me here thought she could just swoop in and save you like some sort of a hero..." 

Sullen, you trail off, face growing warm from embarrassment whilst your mind devises a plan on how to clear up the mess you created, many thanks to your foolhardy nature, when a muffled laugh reaches you. Gojo's eyes twinkle in enjoyment at the bewildered huff you give him.  

"You did save me like a real hero back then, y'know," he says, grinning a wide grin – before it disappears, making way for a much reserved, much shyer(??) version. A giggly voice within you whispers he looks just as sweet as he did with his cute dimples. The boy continues, carding a hand through his mess of white hair, with a casual glance at the man, "And, as for the mess you keep mentioning, don't you worry. Gun shots create more mess than a plate smashed on the head. And if I can clear that within a minute– this won't even take me a full second, Miss Hero. Don't you worry for this at all. But, yeah, thank you." 

Now, you don't really know if it was the sincerity in his voice as Gojo thanked you, or the fact that he has to clean up the mess you made in the first place, or the stunned feeling so clearly visible in the blue colour of his irises when you admitted to noticing him— whatever it is, you find yourself not wanting to leave anything unsaid between you both.  

Moreover, the realization that lives are considered extremely low-on-value in the world of crime, so much that guns are whipped out at the tiny disagreements or boasts are made on how quick a gunshot mess can be cleared by them — this realization doesn't make things any easier for you. 

Giving the injured man and your napping friend a momentary glance, you return your focus to Gojo, whose eyes are now narrowed at his mobile, and speak those words weighing heavy on your mind right now.  

"I really noticed you since the first day, Gojo," you say. The boy pauses his typing, confused gaze darting to you. "But not just 'cause you're the Gojo Satoru, or 'cause you're really pretty — which you totally are, by the way— but mainly because you had ambled into our first class, on the first day, a magnificent hour late, with your two friends— and my first thought seeing you was, what sort of a fucking entitled brat is this guy, sauntering in as if he owns the entire place." 

A beat passes before the boy erupts into chuckles, though the tense quality of them doesn't escape your notice. Pocketing his mobile, he shoots you a small smile. "And what about noticing me after that? It was just my name and looks which kept your attention hooked onto me, wasn't it?" 

The question– the mumbled way it was asked, more so– sends you into a brief bout of musing silence. Gojo's eyes remain trained on you the entire while — quite contrary to the innumerable adjectives you've heard to describe them: oceanic blue, sparkling blue, mesmerising blue, kind-of-startling blue– you think they're just... blue. So blue, you wonder if there's anything as blue as that gaze peering down at you.  

Perhaps not. 

Lips curving into a smile, you hum, "Yes and no. Yes, 'cause that was the main reason why my eyes kept trailing you whenever we were in the same place. No, 'cause they were the reasons only until I realised what kind of person you are, and how very different you're from what I first thought of you. I got new reasons after those." 

"Mind telling me those new reasons?" 

Gojo's nervous question widens the smile on your face. Casting your friend a glance — goodness, how many drinks did she really have at the party she went to last night — you reply, making your voice light and friendly, "Your personality made me curious. You are old money, with good looks to boot— you're literally the heartthrob of every girl on campus! Still, I've never seen you with anyone from them— never with anyone outside your group of three friends — though, I got to admit, the blond boy looks nothing less than constipated for a week, when he talks to you." 

That last comment draws a chuckle from the white-haired boy. The tightness in his shoulders seems to relax a bit, you note with relief. Face still carrying the same smile as before, you continue speaking.  

"And the second point which made me curious was how different you behave in different places. Your voice rings across the cafeteria every day during lunch yet you stay so quiet here for hours at end. You once said you've never been much of a book person, yet I always see you in this shop, immersed in your notebooks. And– what has struck me the most of all is the way you tend to go out of you way to annoy others – I've been sitting in front of you in class for a good three months now, yet you've never ever irritated me in the slightest. Kind of strange, ain’t it?" 

Stunned silence comes as the answer to your question, what with the addressed classmate of yours, rooted to his spot on the ground, blue eyes as round as the plate you had smashed on the man's head some time ago and the expression on Gojo's face, almost as if you've grown a couple of heads in the while you have been chatting with him.  

Or more like monologuing, now that you think about it.  

This guy is always so chatty with others: he was even then with that gun cocked to take his life — then why the fuck is he so unspeaking right now, eh? 

"Oh God, Satoru, I can't believe your plan of lurking in the places she goes to, to catch her eye, worked out!!" "Are you asking her out right now, bro?" "Can you all please move? It's raining like hell outside and I'm not really keen to get my leather jacket wet, thank you." 

The noisy rumbles of rain and thunder stream in through the opened door, before the latter is closed again, snapping you out of your internal monologue, a bit too sudden and harsh for your liking. Three pairs of eyes regard you with an utmost curiosity — you return them a blink before dragging your eyes away and looking at the boy a good foot away, only to find him resolutely staring at the overhead lights. Two pretty long (and pretty weird) seconds pass before you finally decide to tear your gaze away from him to the rain-soaked glass window of the eatery.  

A face with creased brows and warmed cheeks greets you from your reflection.  

Screwing your eyes tight shut in an attempt to ward off an annoying headache you can feel build up, slowly yet steadily, you let out a sigh.  

Friendship with the Gojo Satoru seems good enough but romance with the Gojo Satoru... that doesn’t seem half-as-good, right? 

Right? 

"Wrong." 

Your son's insistent voice, coupled by the tiny fist he slams down on the table, breaks you out of your reverie and you turn to find Sachiro wearing a frown, tears brimming in his eyes– eyes which move away from his father and sister to you, pinning your drowsy form beneath the weight of their moisture.  

Stifling a weary sigh, you place the menu card back on the table and coo, "Aw, Sachiro! What's wrong, baby? Are Papa and Sachiko saying mean things to you again? Are they still teasing you regarding today's incident?" 

Although, you suppose to yourself, catastrophe might suit what happened today, way more than the word 'incident'— what with the shrieks, cries and yells resounding through your flat in the short time you took to get ready for your Sunday lunch at a restaurant. Rubbing his eyes a little, the little boy scoots closer to you and nods weakly, wrapping his tiny arms round you. Pressing a kiss to the top of his head, you direct a stern look at the two sitting across from you.  

Sipping on the welcome drink, Sachiko just shrugs back at you.  

"I'm not the wrong person here, Mom. He is," your daughter explains, pointing a finger at her brother, then retracting it at your frown. Your husband snickers from beside her. “Yeah, sweetness, it’s Sachiro who’s wrong. Getting confused on when’s your birthday is no small mistake. Besides, our darling little munchkins taunt me the entire time if I ever make a mistake, no? Can’t see why they can’t stand a taste of their own medicine, then.” 

The sobs muffled into the cotton of your dress grow in intensity and misery. Sending her father a vicious stink eye, your daughter moves to observe you and her brother, a cute little frown on her face.  

"Okay, fine," she relents after a short beat, returning the lemonade to the table, "Guess I was a little wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have teased him so much, along with Papa, for messing up the date of your birthday. I also should not have said, he doesn't love you, some time back."  

A very weighted moment passes. The little girl jumps off her seat and reaches your side of the table, tiny arms reaching out to wrap around her brother. It takes a minute, and a small nudge from your side but soon enough, your two kids are hugging each other; Sachiro, a wailing mess, whilst Sachiko, being the older of the twins that she is, keeps saying 'sorry's' and patting his head, the exact same way their father does to them in times of their grave distress — when they throw a tantrum and get a nice long lecture from you, that is.  

Fond smile creeping onto your lips, you tear your gaze away from the two adorable angels of your life to your husband.  

Relieved to find him sans any teasing smile, you receive a gentle look from him, his hand reaching out to interweave his fingers through yours. You let him with a content hum, basking in the simple domestic joy seeping in through the sweetly scented air of the restaurant. A pair of plush lips press to your palm; biting back a giddy giggle, you throw the owner of said luscious lips a meaningful wink.  

Though... you doubt how much of your meaning could be conveyed to him... given how the two of you jerk back from each other a mere instant later, at the loud clearing of a throat from Sachiko and an angry 'Papa! Go away!' from Sachiro.  

Stomping back to her chair and settling into it with some effort and a huff, you watch an extremely pissed shadow form over the little girl's face, worsening as she twists and cranes her neck up to face her father. You really, really think your husband must not chuckle in this way in the face of such a thunderstorm— not when your daughter is shooting daggers with her gaze; and certainly not when your son is shooting that gloating smirk at him.  

Another time and you think you’ll look at that glare and at that smirk, then proceed to be on cloud-nine, realizing your children, despite being xerox copies of their father (both in looks and manners), did inherit certain features from you as well— something which a terribly competitive voice inside your head claims, is a great win— now, however, is decidedly no such time.  

Not when the person you’ve loved for these many years and know, will continue to do so for an eternity, looks one step away from being tormented to death– by none but the two milk-toothed lights of both of your lives.  

You watch Sachiko’s frown deepen, more than should be possible for someone her age, then begin. 

"Papa, I'm sorry but I have to break our deal. Sachiro is right. We two are the strongest duo of twins in the multiverse — we can't let you break our team this way. So, what if my brother makes a mistake? He's a young baby and babies are allowed to make mistakes, aren't they?"  

You wonder if she truly understands she was born a mere six minutes prior than her brother... and not six whole years, as appears to be the case right now. Holding back chuckles, you spare the person, addressed in the ‘not-really-apology' apology, an amused glance, then nod your head solemnly at her words.  

"They are, baby. They so are," you agree in the very next instant, then ask, a genuine inquiring inflection to your tone, "But what deal did Papa make you agree to, baby? Sounds pretty serious to me, to be honest." 

"Oh, it wasn't anything, sweet cheeks," your husband begins with an awfully nervous-sounding chortle; too bad, your daughter is quick to beat him to it. Throwing him a smirk, you can only describe to be devious, she looks back at you and grins. "Two weeks back, Papa found me in the living room, late at night, staring at shooting stars through the windows. And I found him walking away from the kitchen, eating a giant chocolate bar. Papa said you’ll be very mad because we didn’t listen to what you said, so, we should make a deal and become a team to keep this a secret from you." 

"Papa made that deal– only to divide us. So, our strong team can be destroyed and he can easily defeat us and keep you all for himself, Mama," your son chips in, puffy eyes narrowed into a very hard glare. Your daughter agrees vehemently from the opposite side.  

Your eyes drop to the glass of lemonade before you; you try your best to stifle the yawn.  

This fight over your affection has been going on since the time your children turned four or so... and despite them nearing an age of six in few months, no end can be seen in the horizon, to this war raging within your home...  

And as for the matter of Sachiko being awake way past her bedtime? You reckon you can't really do much on this, other than repeating the rules and the reasons behind each one of them– especially of punctuality and an adequate sleep– to her, like you did the last time... though, you think of toning your lecture down a little this time, considering it wasn't a video game but a meteor show she had stayed awake for... besides you too used to be — okay, no, wait, what??? 

Your husband's sheepish grin collides with the incensed glare you aim his way over the table. Letting out a frustrated huff of an exhale, your face turns away from his, choosing to stare at itself in the clean glass windows instead — too, too mad to acknowledge that white-haired, blue-eyed menace of yours, whining apologies with a pitiful gaze.  

You screw your eyes shut and let out a sigh. 

Being married to the yakuza king, Gojo Satoru, is a story, you deem, it couldn’t have been better, but being married to the sweet fiend, Gojo Satoru?  

Oh, sweet– no, strike that, you fucking hate that word—  

Oh, sour heavens above.  

That's a different story altogether. 

▸ if you've reached this point and still love me and/or my writing, istg I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH. writing something inspired by one's self-ship is so satisfying but so difficult, ngl. A BIG TYYY TO YOU WHO IS READING THIS LINE RN AFTER READING THIS MONSTROSITY OF A ONESHOT *sniffles*

▸ masterlist

[callsigns-haze]

Out of All: Chp 10

Jake Seresin x OC! Anna Bradshaw

Brothers' Best Friend Series! Follow along as these characters navigate the treacherous waters of love, loyalty, and desire, all while facing the ultimate taboo: falling for your sibling's best friend. From heart-pounding moments to steamy encounters, this series is a rollercoaster of emotions that will keep you hooked until the very end. Brace yourself for intense romantic tension, sizzling chemistry, and enough drama to keep you guessing. Are you ready to embark on this captivating journey?

This chapter includes explicit sexual content with detailed descriptions of sexual activity and intimacy between characters. Scenes depict physical intimacy, including kissing, touching, and biting, with characters described in states of undress. Emotional intensity is explored, encompassing themes of longing, desire, and vulnerability, with brief references to past trauma. Characters may be shown consuming alcoholic beverages, and mature themes such as casual relationships

The soft glow of the afternoon sun filters through the curtains, casting warm hues across your bedroom. You stand in front of your closet, the anticipation of your date with Jake Seresin making your heart flutter with excitement. Jaden lounges on your bed, sprawled out like a lazy cat, his phone in hand as he scrolls through online fashion sites. Jaden is what you'd call your band member, he duets with you and always has his word of say.

With a sigh, you hold up a sleek black dress, its fabric shimmering in the sunlight. "What do you think about this one?"

Jaden glances up briefly, eyes scanning the dress before returning to his phone. "It's nice, but it's a bit too formal for a casual dinner, isn't it? And anyways its not your style."

You nod, acknowledging his point as you carefully hang the dress back in the closet. "Yeah, you're right."

The two of you continue your impromptu fashion consultation, Jaden offering his opinions with the flair of a seasoned stylist. However, as you try on various outfits, Jaden's brows furrow with concern.

"Are you sure about this, peach?" he asks, his tone hesitant. "I mean, Jake? He's not really your type, is he?"

You pause, taken aback by his question. Jaden has always been protective of you, and his concern is touching in its own way. "I know he's not exactly the guy I usually go for," you admit, "but there's something about him. He's different."

Jaden studies you for a moment, a flicker of uncertainty crossing his features. But then he sighs, conceding defeat. "Alright, if you're sure. Just promise me you'll be careful, yeah?"

You offer him a reassuring smile, grateful for his concern. "I promise."

With Jaden's cautious blessing, you settle on a simple yet elegant ensemble. The dress hugs your curves in all the right places, its soft fabric flowing gracefully around you. Jaden sits up, finally taking notice of your choice.

"Ah, there she is," he declares, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "The epitome of charm and grace."

You can't help but laugh at his theatrics, giving him a playful shove. "Oh, please. Stop flattering me. If you keep this up, I might just have to take you out instead."

Jaden chuckles, a playful gleam in his eyes. "Watch out, Seresin. You've got competition."

The light banter between you and Jaden eases the tension, reminding you of the unbreakable bond you share. With a final nod of approval, you finish getting ready, the excitement of the evening ahead bubbling inside you. Jaden watches you with a warm smile, a silent reassurance that no matter what happens, he'll always be there for you. Always.

--

You and Jake sit in a fancy but calm, Italian restaurant of his choice. You loved Italian food so this was quite the enjoyment. The two of you have already finished your main meals and were finishing off some desserts. You ordered their famous ice-cream donuts while Jake ordered some cheesecake.

He was quite fine dressed. The only times you've ever seen him was in his flight suit, beach shorts or naked. His hair was neatly put, it was slightly gelled and just put to stick in place. He was wearing a clean and rather fancy polo shirt. It was clean and milky white and just fitted right upon him. He wore a pair of light blue casual jeans. They fit him right and shower off his muscles and legs.

You on the other hand were dressed fancy as well. You wore a beige sundress that was coated with flowers at the edge of the bottom and from the waist, upwards to your chest. Your hair was put in a cute, loose bun with your front strands being free.

The two of you have talked for what seemed to be a lifetime. At the start when you met Jake you believed it'd be a one time thing but now, clearly it is not like that anymore. You guys went full, weekly hookup mode and now you were out on a date together.

"You look so beautiful, chick," he whispers into your ear as he takes a free strand of your hair and puts it behind your ear. "And you look rather Handsome, Jake," you say back as the eye contact never breaks as you both sit there. "Still no nickname," he laughs as you were aiming to make you one up.

You lean in closer to him whispering directly in his ear so nobody else could hear, "Actually I have made something up but for now those are mostly suitable in bed." He looks up at you as you say that and he smirks his fancy and usually smirks and whispers to you, "Why is that simple idea making me go hard."

You look at him in awe, inside your jumping up and down and giggling like a teenager but here you have to keep at least the smallest amount of composure. You stare into those beautiful green eyes and lightly lick your lipsticked lips. "You planning on taking me home on the first date, Jake?" He rather laughs at that and leans in to answer you, "Oh come on chick, I've made you cum more than fifty times before this date. It's nothing new."

You blush all up even though it was only you that heard him you felt a small bit like a teenager about to rush home. You never felt this before with a guy and you call over the waiter almost immediately. "I think we're ready for the bill."

-

As the night air cooled around them, Jake and Anna walked out of the cozy Italian restaurant, their laughter lingering like the taste of the tiramisu they'd shared. The date had been a success—the conversation flowed effortlessly, and sparks danced in the air between them.

Jake offered Anna his arm as they strolled towards his car, a vintage truck that gleamed under the streetlights. With a smile, he opened the door for her, and she slid into the passenger seat, her heart fluttering with excitement.

As they drove through the quiet streets of the city, the soft glow of the street lamps cast a romantic aura around them. Jake glanced over at Anna, her profile illuminated by the dashboard lights, and felt a surge of warmth in his chest.

"So, did you enjoy dinner?" Jake asked, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them.

Anna turned to him, her eyes sparkling. "I loved it. Thank you for taking me out tonight."

"It was my pleasure," Jake replied, his voice soft with sincerity. "I had a great time too."

They fell into easy conversation, sharing stories and laughter as they navigated the familiar streets towards Anna's and Bradleys house . With each passing moment, Jake felt himself drawn to her more deeply, her presence filling him with a sense of joy he hadn't felt in a long time.

As they reached Anna's building, Jake pulled the car to a stop outside. He turned off the engine but made no move to get out, reluctant to bring the evening to an end.

Anna turned to him, a shy smile playing on her lips. "Thank you for the ride home," she said softly.

Jake reached out, his hand finding hers on the center console. "It was my pleasure," he replied, his voice husky with emotion. "I had a wonderful time tonight."

Their eyes locked, and in that moment, the world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of them in their own private universe. Without a word, Jake leaned in closer, his lips meeting Anna's in a tender kiss that spoke volumes of the connection they shared.

A/n: We've never met Jaden before but ughghghgh I love him and his future contribution is BIG🫣

tagging:

@callsign-magnolia

@shanimallina87

@callsign-dexter

@horseslovers2016

@rosiahills22

@djs8891

@hookslove1592

@emma8895eb

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@mrsevans90

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@drakelover78

[butchsophiewalten]

03/16/24 Twitter Space Recap

There was a (pretty long!) twitter space yesterday, feat. Martin & Eva, with a later arrival of Crystal, and a (relatively brief) appearance from Coral. Kyle was going to join, but was experiencing technical some problems, so ended up sitting this one out.

-Martin starts the space proper by asking Eva to post some "Jack Walten Photoshoot" images he made back in May of 2022. Here they are:

-Someone asks if Martin could possibly release unfiltered versions of the Walten Files episodes, and Martin said that at one point, back in 2020, he sent HD versions of episodes 1 & 2 to Eva, but later deleted them, thinking 'why would I bother keeping this around, it's all on my computer anyway,' and then his computer died, and they were lost. He says he thinks he has an HD version of TWF3, but that for TWF4, the VHS filter was applied to the scenes individually before the episode was edited together, so there is no 'HD cut' of the entire episode.

-Martin reads a question, "Is it possible you could describe what happened in the Welcome to Bon's Burgers trailer? I swear I saw it back in 2020 after Sagan Hawkes released his his video." and answers, "Uh, the Welcome to Bon's Burgers trailer was basically like, uh, a very low-quality, movie-style trailer with like, royalty free stock trailer music that was like, really action-packed. And it was like, 'We can stop him, Sophie! Welcome to Bon's Burgers!', and it was so cool. I'm not making this up, this is literally what the trailer was like."

-Martin and Eva joke back and forth about Sophie doing really cheesy action movie stuff in the WtBB trailer, like saying 'fuck you!' to Bon, and throwing a grenade at him. Eva than starts explaining some context for those jokes, saying, "Back in 2021, we like, desperately tried to, like, make Sophie this, like, badass epic horror protagonist, and it- it's just really funny, because that's just not who she is, at all. She's just some loser!"

Martin laughs, saying, "We were talking- we were like, she would not be like this, she would not be like this at all, she would be so awkward."

Eva responds, "She's literally just some awkward, like, mentally unwell loser. She wouldn't be this, like, badass epic hero."

Martin responds, "I think it was- in my opinion, that stemmed pretty much from like, Walter White, because we were on like, our peak Breaking Bad phase. And it was like, Walter White originally was so awkward, and loser, and then he becomes 'badass' and 'cool', and we wanted to, like, replicate that.

Eva laughs, saying, "...Now she's literally just some loser- loser girl. And she's like, way cooler now," to which Martin says, "I love Sophie, she's one of my favorite characters."

-Martin reads a question, incredulously, "'Out of the entire cast, who would like yaoi the most?' Nobody! Nobody would like yaoi the most... Well, maybe Brian."

-Somebody asks something about Showstoppers Inc, and Martin says that the series is currently on hold, so he can finish TWF5.

-Someone asks what Martin's favorite non-canon episode is, and he says it's definitely The Mysterious House. He says out of every episode of The Walten Files, The Mysterious House and TWF6 are probably tied for his favorite. He talks a bit more about it, saying, "I know it's not the best- Maybe it hasn't aged perfectly, but just- it just has that vibe. It just has a really cool vibe, that I really dig."

Eva responds saying, "It's such a fun episode. I like how it just all goes to shit.", to which Martin asks, "Wait, are you talking about Six, or The Mysterious House?" and Eva replies, "Well, both. They both go to shit."

Martin says "Yeah. Technically, Six- we've talked about this in private, but Episode 6 is very inspired in The Mysterious House. Like, I wanted to have that feeling The Mysterious House had, because I really love that."

-Eva reads a question asking what Edd & Molly's relationship was like, and she says she likes to think of them as siblings that just fight all the time. Martin agrees, saying he thinks it happens a lot that Molly is really annoying, and Edd gets angry with her very easily.

-Felix's new VA, Connor, sends some audio to Martin and tells him to share it with the space. Transcribed, it went as follows:

"Uh, hey, Jack, it's Felix. You probably won't be able to answer your answering machine, it said it was full, but it's still letting me leave a message. I'm not entirely sure- I already called the police, uh, nothing's wrong, uh. Well- there is something wrong, I- I can't take your kids home. I'm drunk. Uh, and- you've gotta be pissed out of your mind right now, that's- that's fine. Uh, I'm sorry. And if there's a way- way I can make it up to you- I know, that, like, why the hell would you trust me, after I fucked up the first time, but, I tried to take Edd and Molly home, bad idea. I swerved a bit- we didn't- nothing crashed, nothing happened, I just- I lost my balance. The kids seem okay, I hope they are. They didn't seem to notice, but, in that instance, I just- I couldn't do it. I can't. So, uh, if you can, just- I'm near Saint Joanne's right now, y'know, the forest near section 95, but. Uh- hang on, hang on, kids, give me a minute. They're trying to get my attention. We pulled over on the side- Luckily there was a payphone- there was like a gas station maybe a walk over from the highway. Ope, and they're coming out, they want to say hi to you. Well, I'm gonna hang up now, 'cause I don't have the- Hang on! I'm just gonna hang up. Uh, I am so sorry. I- I really am. And again, if there's anything I can do, if there's a future favor you need, I will- not fuck it up. I'd be fucking foolish to. I'm just so embarrassed, I'm sorry."

Martin was surprised that the audio was so genuine and sad, since he hadn't listened to it before playing it on the space, and thought it was going to be kind of joke.

-Eva reads a question, "'Which character would be into some real good yuri?' Jenny."

-Martin talks about "Raw Bunny", a character which originates from The Walten Archives. He says there were originally going to be two dolls, "Raw Bunny" and "Raw Tammy", and that Edd was going to possess Rocket, and Molly was going to possess Tammy. He has no explanation for why they were called "Raw".

-Martin asks Eva if there's any autistic characters in The Walten Files, and she answers, "Uh, Sophie, I guess, Maybe?"

-Eva reads a question, "'Would Sophie read yuri and yaoi?' I don't think she knows what those are." to which Martin says, "Do you think Sophie would respond, like, 'I've never listened to that band'?"

-Someone asks for character birthdays, and Martin tries to joke that Jack and Rose's birthdays are both on February 31st, but misspeaks and says "21st", which later lead to this very funny twitter interaction:

-Eva reads a question, "What did Sophie do in college?", which leads Coral (who has joined the space by now) to say they don't think Sophie ever went to college. Martin says, "She did. She did go into college, but she got kicked out, because she shaved one of her colleagues' head bald... Like, Sophie really fucking hated this one girl in college, so one day, at night, she goes to her bedroom and starts shaving her head." The original question never gets answered.

-Martin keeps talking about Sophie, saying, "I can't remember if it was in school or college, but I had it written down that she broke someone's arm one time, because the person was bullying her." Then a couple minutes later, goes, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember! Yes, it was in school. I had it written down, because I remember, uh, this was after- of course, I can't get too much into it, because we do cover it in the series, but it was after the crash that someone was bullying her, and since she wasn't in a really good headspace right now, she broke a kid's arm. And that's how she got kicked out of school. I don't think she ever, like, returned to school after that."

Coral responds, "She was forever just wandering," and Martin says, "That is very Sophie Walten. Sophie Walten is always just wandering."

-Eva asks, "Which Walten Files character would've had an emo phase?" and Martin says, "If we were talking like, a year or two ago, I would've said Sophie, but now I think- uh, probably... y'know what? Ignoring, like, the time period and everything, if a character were around to have an emo phase, I think it would be Rosemary, since Rosemary's, like, the most artistic. She would just be like an emo for like, a year or two, and then she would be like, the most jolly person ever."

-Coral jokes that it'd be really funny if Charles had an emo phase, and Eva says she thinks it's funny to imagine Jenny going through an emo phase, because she's such a colorful and friendly person. Crystal says "I feel like [Jenny's] the kind of person that will, like, fully commit to, like, a fashion aesthetic, like 110%." to which Martin responds, "Actually, yeah, definitely."

-Eva says, "I like to think Jenny is like, really good at fashion and shit, meanwhile Sophie just dresses like absolute shit." Coral says, "I don't think Sophie knows how to dress," to which Martin responds, "No, I think she doesn't, but I don't- I don't think she has, like, bad- I wouldn't say 'bad style', because I definitely don't think she has any style. But I don't think she wears bad combinations, y'know? She has like, 5%-2% style."

-Martin says, about Sophie, "Her brain is one ketchup tall."

-Martin asks everyone to say something they think Sophie would actually be really talented at. Eva jokes that she'd be good at "Eating spaghetti.", but Crystal says "I feel like she would, like, be a surprise good cook," and Martin says, "Yeah. I feel like, since she worked at the meat store, so I think she would know how to work with all that." Crystal jokes that someone would think her cooking is really good and ask her for a recipe, and she just completely mentally blanks.

-Eva reads a question, "Would Ashley and Sophie be friends?" and Martin says, "I think Sophie would hate Ashley. I think, Sophie- I think she would stand Ashley, but I think Sophie wouldn't be able to stand Ashley like, actually going blindly into a fucking- I think Sophie would be, like, really annoyed at Ashley's obliviousness, to me. I'm not saying Ashley is stupid, I don't think Ashley is dumb in any way, but I think Sophie wouldn't be able to relate to Ashley's, like, motivations and shit."

-They start joking about Sophie getting high? Martin says that she could never be allowed to get high, because she'd freak the fuck out and have the worst trip of her life. Martin says, "I think if Sophie got high, imagine she's, like, looking horrified at the door frame, and she's grabbing Jenny's hand, and she's like 'Jenny, Ronald Reagan's here. He arrived. He's taking me away, Jenny.''

Martin keeps going, "Imagine- imagine Sophie holds Jenny's hand, and she's like, 'Dude. Jenny- I cracked the case. I cracked the case. Jenny- Jenny, c'mere, I cracked the case. I think Bon killed Kennedy. I think Bo-Bon kill- Jenny I think Bon killed John F. Kennedy.'"

-They start talking about if Sophie would drink, and Martin says "I think Sophie drunk, like, at a party, like- imagine it's like, the only time she goes at a party, and it was just because she was, like, going with Jenny, who was invited. And she gets drunk, and then she's like, 'Uh, here's my car. This is my car.' and she doesn't even have a car. She's just trying to, like, break into a random car on the street."

Martin jokes, saying, "The entire friend group is like, talking about, like, 'aw, yeah, dude, y'know, when my grandma passed away, it was so sad,'- and then Sophie goes like 'Dude, when JFK died, it was like a national tragedy.'"

-[Eva] "Sophie would hate The Irishman. If she watched it."

[Martin] "She wouldn't watch twenty minutes of it! She would be like 'Jenny, I don't get this. I don't get this.'"

[Eva] "She would be like, 'I'm turning this off, this sucks.'"

[Martin, laughing] "And Jenny would be, like, so offended."

-Martin says, "I think Jenny would be more, like, artistic, and, like into experimental films. And Sophie would just watch, fucking, I don't know, fucking-" and Eva interrupts, saying, "Sophie would enjoy Adam Sandler movies if she was, like alive today. She would enjoy Adam Sandler movies." Martin laughs, saying, "Do you think Sophie would watch Ted and be like, 'Ohh, that's just like me...'?"

-Eva says, "I just had the worst idea. Sophie would, like, watch those stupid fucking Sigma Male movies, like Taxi Driver, and shit like that, and be like 'oh, that's me. that's me.' Martin laughs, saying, "That is so accurate! Imagine Sophie watching American Psycho, and for an entire week, like quoting the movie." then later says, "Imagine she does the fucking Taxi Driver cut, for like two days, and then starts crying because she regrets it."

-[Martin] "Someone- someone once said- Did I ever tell tell you, Eva and Crystal, that there was this one time when I was high, and I- I heard someone on Twitter going like, 'oh Sophie would love Weezer,' and I started crying. I started crying."

[Eva] "She would! Sophie would love Weezer!"

[Martin] "No! No she wouldn't! And I started crying, because I realized I failed as a creator."

-[Eva] "Someone asked, 'Does Jenny get high?' Yeah, Jenny would get high. Jenny would be stoner."

[Martin] "Yeah. No- I think she- she was probably, like, back in like, the late 70's she was more of a stoner, but then, when she started living with Sophie, she kinda just, started like, just settling down. Into a jolly- Into a silly, jolly lifestyle."

-[Eva] "Sophie would get really irrationally angry over video games, I think."

[Crystal] "I feel like she wouldn't, like, say anything. She would just stare really angrily at the screen."

[Eva] "She would, like, pick up a thing on her desk and just crush it."

Martin says he wants to draw that, and later posts this:

-Eva reads a question asking what Sophie's fears are. Martin says, "I think Sophie's fears, um, to me- and, of course, I cannot explain where this originates from, because again, it's spoilers. But I think one of Sophie's, like, fears she has- I wouldn't say it would be 'losing control', but not being able to decide what happens to her. Like, the idea of not being able to have control of her future. To me, I feel."

-Eva says "[Bon] would occasionally vomit blood, as a treat."

-Martin says "I think Sophie- I mean, I don't think she would be completely competitive, but I think Sophie would secretly be a bit competitive, when it comes to playing games. And Jenny would be more like 'Hey, it's just having fun!' and that's just because Jenny is like, the best gamer ever."

-Someone asks if Jack or Rose would experience road rage, and Martin says, "A lot of, uh, Jack, when I first wrote Jack, was a lot of inspiration from Me and my dad, because both me and my dad have had to deal with anger issues, and we both had to, like, y'know, go treat that. But I will forever remember how my dad would act during fucking road rage. I think Jack would act like that, just- Jack would fucking punch the fucking steering wheel, going 'God FUCKING DAMN IT!', and he would like, get out of the car, and- because this is something my dad would do- Jack would get out of the car and walk to the fucking thing that's causing the traffic jam. And go, like, 'Hurry the FUCK up, HURRY UP!'"

Martin goes, "I think Jack would go up to the driver that's causing the traffic jam, with the most polite, gentle look on his face. He'd ask him to, y'know, put the window down. And then he would poke his head through the window, and he would go, "Heya, man. KILL YOURSELF!!!!"

-Martin goes, "Why do Jenny and Sophie say 'fuck' so many times in BunnyFarm?" to which Crystal responds, incredulously, "You're the one who wrote the script, what do you mean!?"

-Martin says, "I think Sophie would eat the Forever Weed Brownie."

-Eva asks if Sophie would have the same anger issues as Jack, and Martin says, "No, I don't think she would have anger issues, but I do think she would have a big- a big fuckin' temper."

Eva responds, going "Well, no, she fucking broke some kid's arm and saved some girl's head, she probably does have, like, some anger-" and Martin goes, "Well- yeah, yeah. To be fair, yeah."

-Martin says, "I've told this to Eva, Sophie was a shoplifter, for a while."

-Martin says he changed Sophie's height again (For what, like the third time?) She's about 5'6-5'7 now. Jenny's height has increased proportionally, Martin doesn't give a number for her, but says she's still taller Felix, who's 5'7.

-Eva talks about how she was asked to sing a song as Bon for an episode, and the song Martin had sent her had some sexual undertones, so he changed it to be more kid-friendly and told her to perform the new lyrics. But she fucked up, and just sang the normal song, so they're just using that audio anyway, and it's really funny to both of them.

-Martin says, "One idea I had, back in TWF2, that I really want to repurpose someday- Originally, there was going to be a funny scene where Kevin, Hilary and Ashley would, like, play around with the robots, and dress them up, and make them do fucking goofy poses and shit like that. And I think, If i ever get the chance to do it again, I would probably do something like that... I would really love doing a scene like that, in The Walten Files. The caretakers just absolutely doing goofy shit in K-9."

-Eva talks about how she's a bit mildly uncomfortable with cutesy ship art of Felix and Linda, and asks Martin if that's weird of her. Martin says, "I don't think Felix was abusive, per se. I don't Felix, like, abused of Linda. Y'know, I don't think we was, just, uh- intentionally taking advantage of Linda's emotional state, for his own benefit. But I do think Felix was a very neglectful person, who- the way I see it, he was just with Linda just because, y'know? He didn't really- It was just a thing of, 'Oh, there's a guy and there's a girl. It makes sense, yeah, it should be a couple, yay,' Y'know? And the way I've always seen it is that Linda and Felix had, had, a good dynamic. But I don't think it was a good romantic dynamic.

I think they just- They took what could have been a could've been a potential good friendship as romantic feelings, and that was their downfall. And by being a couple they didn't really help each other, and Felix being neglectful eventually took a toll on Linda. Which- is bad! It's a very bad behavior. And I don't blame people who consider that to be emotional abuse, but to me I don't feel like Felix ever had that intention. But it's not a good couple, because they're not healthy for each other."

-Martin continues, "I feel like Felix didn't know how to be- Felix didn't have a couple before Linda. And I feel like, to me, Felix never properly learned how to love? So, to me, it would be like, uh, he wouldn't be emotionally connected with Linda. He wouldn't open up to her, and he wouldn't really try to be close to her. Both in an emotional and a physical way. It would just be like, every now and then, that he remembers, 'oh yeah, my wife', and just, like- a kiss, every one in 500 years."

-"I do think that Linda was a very independent person. And does- she wasn't like, too focused on, 'oh, how much does Felix care about me?', she was just, like, doing her own thing. I think it was later down the line that she started realizing how neglectful Felix was, and started, like, actually trying to reconnect with him, in a way. And since Felix had become worse and worse, he just kinda kept brushing her away until he ended up confronting her, and ended up hurting her feelings in a really bad way."

-Martin reads a question, asking, "Why did Felix start drinking, anyway?" and answers, "Uh, without revealing it too much, I think the reason he started drinking was because, uh, there was a problem, to Felix, that was starting to build up, and he started isolating himself on that problem. And, uh, when he started isolating himself, he started losing all the things he had, to like- all the shoulders he could lean on. So, without nobody he could actually go to, to reach out to them, he started drinking. Because it kinda numbed away those feelings, it kinda helped him control all the frustrations he had about himself, and the kind of person he was. And thus, at first he was just, like, 'Oh, it's just, every time I feel some kind of hatred towards myself and the person I am.' And it kept escalating, to the point that-- The moment he started fully hating himself was the moment he started completely drinking all the time. To kinda, just numb away those feelings."

Martin says, "To me, uh, the way I see it is like The Shining, where they refer to alcohol as a medicine. And to me, I feel like Felix saw it as a medicine, too. Like, as a way that, hey, it's an easy way to be happier with the person you are and the decisions you've made."

-"I feel like, in a way, the way I see Felix as a character- I like to think that he's someone who isn't happy, wasn't happy with the kind of person he became and the kind of decisions he took, because I think he saw a lot more potential in him that he didn't- that he didn't actually use. And, it's like, I feel like that frustration was the one of the reasons he got into drinking. Because it's like, just the idea of, 'Hey, I wasted so many years away not doing the stuff I wanted to do. So what's the point anymore?', Y'know."

-"Felix has- In my opinion, a very realistic, kind of like- I want to say a middle-aged crisis. As like, a way of being depressed over- I like to think Felix is sad that he didn't get to savor his young age very much. Because, to me, it's like, one second it was him and Jack going, like, 'Hey! We gotta do this project, and it's going to be so cool, so great and everything!', and then the other second it's like, having to worry about the paperwork, and the idea that- Yeah, sure, Jack and him are still best friends, but Y'know, Jack has his family now. Jack has other priorities, it's not the funny, 'Hey, we're young, we have our whole future ahead of us!' because now the future is happening, and Felix doesn't know what the fuck he's about to do, what the fuck is going to happen to him. And thus, he instantly thinks it's all doomed, it's too late for him to choose a different way to be, a different person to be with, a different goal to have. He thinks that all the decisions he made lead him to this, and he can't change it, because it's too late for that. I think that's what kinda dooms him, in a way."

-Martin says, "To me, when [Felix] had a low point, instead of trying to get himself out of it, he just accepted defeat, because he thought he couldn't get any lower than that. And, there was another rock bottom, and another one, and another one." He says, "I'm always going to say this- and this is kinda like, a message from The Walten Files- It's not a priority, but it's a message that you cannot live a future you do not want to live. You cannot force yourself to accept and settle down for a future you don't want to live, because you're only going to live in constant- you're going to be miserable with yourself! And you're going to be constantly looking to the past, instead of trying to fix your future.

And I think the main flaw with Felix- and you can even notice now, in the current content, that Felix looks a lot in the past, and he's stuck in the past, and he's so unhappy with the place he is right now, that he doesn't try to get himself out of it. And it's just like, "Ah, maybe if I just keep doing what I'm doing, it'll just magically get better on it's own!', and that's not how life is, so yeah."

-Martin and Eva talk about how it's kinda funny, how for them, Felix's hangups have served as a sort of cautionary tale, because his experiences and struggles are so human and so relatable, that his behavior helps them to understand why you need to work against the kind of thinking he succumbs to.

-Eva goes, "I can't wait until we can have long ass discussions like this, publicly, about fucking Jack." and Martin goes, "God! Jack is so cool, too!"

-Some asks if there's any "canon trans rep" in The Walten Files. Martin says, a little regretfully, that No, there aren't, not because he thinks there shouldn't be transgender people in The Walten Files, but because he doesn't go out of his way to think about applying those sorts of labels to characters as he makes them, he just lets them develop naturally, and sometimes ends up applying concepts like that depending on what he thinks feels natural for them. He says, "I never actually touch the territory of, like, their gender identity and all that. So, I guess you could headcanon any character you want as trans. That's totally fine."

-Martin says, "Felix, his main issue was not talking to people and getting help when he needed it the most, and I feel like the way I wrote it stemmed down from the way that a lot of- especially in that era- there was a lot of toxic masculinity around the idea that you cannot show weakness around other people. That you have to be, like, the strong person that takes care of everyone else. You have to be, like, the man in the group, the man in the family, and you cannot, like- you cannot be vulnerable towards anyone else. And I feel like Felix kinda grew up around that mentality, and he isolated his issues from everyone else, because he felt like showing any kind of, uh, vulnerability and just any weakness at all would make him lesser.

And I feel like that problem amplified itself when he met Jack, who was this collected, smart person, who always knew what he had to say. He was charming, he always had an answer for everything, and Felix felt like- if he- if he showed vulnerability towards Jack, Jack would see him as someone lesser than him, y'know? As someone weak. Not worthy of being Jack's friend, y'know?"

-Eva reads a question that asks, "What're some genuine flaws about Jack, besides his anger issues? Has he ever done something he ended up regretting?". Martin pauses for a while, then says, pretty definitely, "Yeah. He does."

Martin then says, "I feel like we could answer some flaws about personality. I think, like, the one thing I could say is that Jack also stems a lot from that mentality of, like, that you shouldn't be weak, you shouldn't show vulnerability to anyone. And I feel like, uh, he- the only person to me, that Jack was ever vulnerable to, the only person that Jack could tell 'I'm scared', to was Rosemary. And, uh, I feel like Jack is a person who wants to always be in control of everything. He cannot lose control, because when he loses control he feels weak, and he doesn't like feeling weak.

And, uh- He kinda, like- One of the bad things that happened, is that, to me, I feel like he kinda passes those bad habits to Sophie, who also doesn't like the idea of losing control. And doesn't like the idea of showing other people that she cries, and that she's vulnerable. And I feel like that stemmed a lot because of Jack."

-"I think one of the worst things with Jack is that he has a problem with communicating stuff. He cannot, for the life of him, just let out a vulnerable side of him. And the way I wanted to show that is that he's always shown smiling in photos, he never tries to frown. He never tries to show any other face, other than just him being okay, him being happy."

-[Eva] "I find it cool how, like, Jack wants himself to be perceived as like, this ideal dad type-guy, which is also how Felix-"

[Martin] "The perfect- the perfect person."

[Eva] "... In reality, Jack would be like, very- very flawed. Very, like-- I don't know how to describe it. His brain would be very, like- emotionally he'd be very fucked up. Not, like, evil- I mean like. his emotions and shit, he has a really bad way of expressing them, and stuff like that."

[Martin] "He doesn't know. He doesn't know how to express his emotions. And to me, Jack, I feel like- I feel like one of Jack's greatest flaws is that, to him, everything is appearances. He really cares a lot about appearances, and he cares about looking like the perfect role model, like the fucking 1950's magazine, cut-clear perfect dad, and his cut-clear perfect family where everything is fine, and nothing can ever go wrong. That's one of, like, Jack's fears. But if we talk more about it, we'll go into spoiler territory!"

-They talk about how frustrating it is to be so interested in and passionate about these characters, but so little of their stories have made it to the audience so far, so they have to be really cagey about everything. Martin says, "I think, mostly because of Sophie, because to me, the way that Sophie is shown in The Walten Files 3, that's just scratching the surface. That's not an ounce of, like, her character. And I really, really want to show what she does, and how everything goes down, but I can't."

-[Eva, reading] "Which character's story goes the deepest? Which character has the most depth?"

[Martin, immediately.] "Jack. Definitely Jack. (pause) No- Jack and Sophie. I think it's Jack and Sophie."

-Martin says, "Bon is so- a much worse person than Felix, but I really like that he's not as unlikable, because Felix knows what he's doing wrong, and apologizes and says he wants to change, but he doesn't. Whereas Bon is a delusional prick, who fucking- doesn't regret anything. And that's so cool to me." Later, he says, "I wouldn't say [Bon] has regret, but he has a lot of, like, emotion about what he's doing. He's not like a cold, heartless killer."

-Martin answers one last question, "What was your original plan for The Walten Files?" and answers, "The original plan for The Walten Files was actually very different, because it was- first of all, I had two original ideas. Originally, it was going to be just a compilation of, uh, footage of Welcome to Bon's Burgers, and I was just gonna plaster a VHS effect on it, and just be like, 'hey, look at all this cool stuff!' But then, when I scrapped that idea, there was The Walten's Archive, which was gonna be, like, a documental, that was, like, a retelling of the events that happened. Like, a 1990s documental, like, a dramatization of everything that happened, and that's why you'd see everything in like, a cinematic light and everything. And it was going to be, like, ten episodes. And I still have that document, and some of the ideas carried over to the actual stuff, but not all of them."

-Eva wants to answer one last question, too, saying, "Someone asked, 'Is "Bon" a 'it's for the greater good' type of person when it comes to his killings?' I'd say yes. Whenever he's like, killing someone, he definitely knows that they're afraid and that they don't want to die, but he'd kinda like, think of it as 'Oh, you don't know what's good for you,' or 'This is for the greater good,' like, when he's killing them. That's kinda like, a way he would justify it in his mind. Like he would just think, 'Oh, yeah, you want this, you just don't know it,' like shit like that."

[nights-at-crystarium]

Fragments - episodes 36-40 author notes

You can find similar breakdown posts on older episodes in my pinned!

I didn’t need to spend so much screentime on Titania fight, yet it was a fun personal challenge. I’d never written/drawn a cohesive fight scene before. The scripted ingame instances don’t leave much room for imagination, I wanted to stay away from the fourth wall, and make up a more immersive scene. How do you even make it look mildly interesting? You’d think, well, characters will just flail at each other until one of them dies, right?

So yeah the biggest challenge was creating the ebb and flow. What affects Vivi’s actions? Why wouldn’t he just murder Titania like any other opponent, and be done with it? I threw in a generous amount of inner pov (that I previously used very sparingly) and some silly tricks. The stakes are high, yes, it’s a Lightwarden vs WoD encounter, but Titania still retains their playful personality above all else. Vivi's here just to do his job, but he also knows that he's dealing with a fae.

The msq makes Titania stand out among other wardens, I capitalized on that and hc’d that they’re important to Feo Ul, and, by proxy, to Vivi. That instantly provided some emotional stakes, and an answer to why he doesn’t rush to kill them out of the door.

Vivi enters the castle in episode 35, and mostly runs in circles, analyzing his enemy, and even falls victim to illusions. This could’ve been it for him, but I daresay it worried none of us because we’re just at the beginning of a story about this guy, he’s THE guy in this universe not for no reason, he’ll manage.

No deep meaning behind "grasshopper", I just thought it's a bizarrely precise descriptor of both Vivi's long legs and dragoon jumps, and it fits the natural theme of the fight.

Vivi didn’t go in unprepared.

This line will be relevant again in like, 5-7 years from now :’>

More under the cut~

He always, always doubts everything, especially when it comes to his level of power. Self-nerfing. A light (heh) case of an impostor syndrome.

Everyone loved the bonk for meme reasons, Vivi simply bought himself some time to cast.

The Rainbow Sparkles of Believing in Yourself! And of something else, perhaps. I’m planting quite a bit of stuff for future, this one should take a mere year or so to pay off.

I hope this pose’s enough of a hint that you shouldn't be taking episode 37 too seriously.

Yes, he used his spear to ~cast~. And took a sailormoon pose. This's his, monoclass dragoon’s, interpretation of what the caster magic’s probably like.

Offscreen, Titania comes to their senses and shrills “so you wanna play rough?!”, Vivi ignores them, concerned with only one thing: did he succeed? How did the test of his custom spell go?

It only worked out because the both of them are idiots.

I like to emphasize that Fragments isn’t about retelling the msq, or big epic battles, but here, where I actually put my heart into it, I feel like I managed to pull off at least one epic beat you’d typically see in an action-focused comic. Super proud of this panel ;w;

This’s a standard panel divider I’ve used multiple times before, but it couldn’t be more visually appropriate here :3c

So, to recap. Vivi asks Titania if they miss the night sky. They do. Vivi brings the night sky to them, and lo, something actually happens. I illustrated this “something” as one of their eyes getting sort of cleansed here. This story suddenly takes a mahou shoujo (shounen, heh) turn, I appreciate that it may cause some eyebrows to raise, but I think it’s okay to take creative liberties like this in a story themed around identity, agency, and believing in yourself. If Titania’s so strong as to retain a tiny bit of their old self, to cohesively partake in a simple convo, then why can’t they return, even if for a brief moment, given the proper assistance.

An appropriate reaction to the wild bs that’s going on. Imagine inventing the tale of WoD in the First, only to witness THIS.

As about Vivi, he can save a soul when he genuinely cares for it. We haven’t seen him do this before. He does it for Feo Ul explicitly, implicitly as a self-reflection. He’s projecting so hard after realizing that Titania looks like him. He wishes for them what he'd wish for himself: to rest, to be treated with care and consideration. They don't only look like him, they're also unfree, tortured by something. Empathy or not, this’s the kindest fight Vivi’s ever fought.

I’m iffy about the canon talents that come with the Echo. You can understand any sentient creature, okay. What happens when you speak, does the other party feel the difference between that soulspeak and their native tongue? Does it feel off? Does it offend? I incorporated my own misgivings into Vivi’s thoughts about his Echo. He doesn't use soulspeak here out of respect and concern that Titania might not react well to it, throwing the entire plan out of the window. Thus he memorized quite a bit of fae words before the fight. This’s his way to mark himself as one of their people, or at least to show that he truly cares.

STAY TUNED FOR EPISODE 41

Vivien Doubter Rell. Also yay first nod!

Embracing his new duty, and possibly giving Titania the hug they deserve.

Look HE’S OKAY. For now. I just thought the hiccup would be a cute way to acknowledge the terrible power he’s just absorbed. The canon cutscene moves on unblinking, but here’s different.

Bracing himself for confrontation. Things might go awry. Or might not. Vivi doesn't know. Worst case scenario: this’s the end of his sweet lil friendship with Feo Ul. Do they like him, or a Titania-lookalike in him?

“Oh bugger...” big pets come with big responsibilities, my dear Feo Ul.

Just to reinforce his fae-ness.

Vivi had full control in this fight. Analyzed the enemy, successfully tested some crazy tricks, managed to have a heart-to-heart that resulted in getting a permission to kill Titania not with violence, but with mercy. So much could’ve gone wrong, but just didn’t. Vivi’s used to this, even if he constantly doubts everything, this’s how it always goes. He’s being flung at tasks with abysmal odds, somehow he emerges victorious.

I just like this panel so much okay.

This arc may feel slow, but it gives depth to Vivi and Feo Ul's relationship, and seeing them together in later episodes will spark even more joy.

Even after a warm moment they’d just shared, Vivi’s still wary. I broke out an analysis of what external influence, pressure to change means to him, please read this post if you missed it. YEAH TAGS AS WELL.

His expression here is an attempt to downplay the anxiety and swing the odds in his favor. What if Feo Ul insists and throws a tantrum? What if he has to become Titania right now, and there’s no way around this? Let’s make puppy eyes just incase, maybe that helps.

One more personal fav panel. There’s SO MUCH in this look. They’re on a threshold, about to become something else on Vivi’s behalf. Because they love him so much. They’ve instantly become friends because they don’t want anything from each other, just the company. Feo Ul’s such a breath of fresh air for Vivi, a new hope in a new world, where he’s (comparatively) a nobody, where people still have the potential to love him for who he is as a person. This’s why our crimson pixie gets so much screentime.

Vivi really said XD

The next few episodes wrap up the Il Mheg arc, and focus on good vibes and celebration. ShB follows a rollercoaster formula where it makes you smile at something nice and sweet only to whack you in the face right after, and I’m trying to do the same :3c

As always, thanks for reading~

[foundtherightwords]

🤫🍕🐈 "AQPD1" thoughts 🤫🍕🐈

I just got back from the movie, and here are my rambling thoughts (below the cut to avoid spoilers as usual.)

I have to preface by saying that I'm not a huge fan of the Quiet Place franchise or anything - I quite enjoyed the first movie and thought it was a really clever concept, but I didn't think it needed a second one at all. In a way, that gave me the perfect mindset to watch this because I had very few expectations of it (other than seeing Joe on the big screen for the first time!)

First of all, this is more of an apocalyptic thriller/monster movie for me than a horror. I was tense, but I was never scared. But that's OK because I wasn't scared by the first two movies either.

Second, this is a lot more character-driven than the first two movies. All the monster stuff only serves as a backdrop to explore Sam and Eric's emotional journeys as they navigate this end-of-the-world scenario. Fans of the franchise and horror movies may want more of the monster, but I think it has a good balance between drama and horror.

In fact, I wish the movie delved even more deeply into the characters. Sam has a fairly solid arc, and I like that her goal is so simple and relatable - it's the end of the world and she's dying anyway, so let's just get pizza. Eric is such a sweet puppy, but we know next to nothing about him (the articles aren't lying when they describe him as "a man of mystery"!) and I find it kind of weakens his connection with Sam a bit. I remember that in an early screening of the movie, Eric was suicidal because his father rejected him. I wish they'd kept that, because it both paralleled and contrasted nicely with Sam's own journey, and it would make their friendship and the ending even more powerful. There is also a hint that Eric has a fear of water (either because of his encounter with the monsters or something in his past), but it's never explained, which makes the ending a bit rushed to me.

Still, I enjoyed the movie and was ecstatic to see Joe on the big screen. Eric has one hell of a character entrance, and I totally did this when he appeared:

Some more random thoughts:

Frodo is too darned adorable. Between him and Eric, I spent most of the movie going "aww" or squealing.

The pizza/card trick scene is so, so sweet and made me tear up. My headcanon is that Eric wants to become a magician but his dad forces him to study law.

They cut out the stuff about Eric's shoes!!! There is only a very brief moment where Sam gives him the Reeboks to change into, but otherwise it's not addressed at all. I guess it's for pacing/time, but it's a shame.

In fact, there are a lot of scenes/moments from the trailers that are not in the movie. They're not important, but it's kind of annoying.

It's so funny that in the red carpet interviews, everybody was saying Alex Wolff would be the first of the cast to die... and his character IS the first to die!

The buzzcut has grown on me immensely, but seeing his curls on the big screen made me miss Joe's hair (especially in the earlier scenes, where it's all floppy and looks so cute.)

Anyway, that's it for now. Oh and I wanted to get one of those flyers/posters, but my theater didn't have any! These would have to do for now (I may have to go to a different theater to watch the movie again and see if they have a poster I can take home):

[luminousdryad]

to make things brief cause I suck at organizing what I have to say, the live action was definitely Something™.

Cast: 10/10 kinda biased personally but yall can't take this from me

Gordon as Aang and Dallas as Zuko were the standouts imo. Gordon needs some direction on line delivery and the angstier scenes but overall he's very charming and I'm so proud of him for getting so much exposure!

Ian as Sokka was great, I just wish he was allowed to be more...messy? like Sokka pretends to be chill and all that but he's actually dramatic so I hope that gets improved in the next season if there is one

speaking of improvement, Kiawentiio as Katara brought out a softer side to the character but sadly diminished her spark and passion. I like that Katara now actually feels like a younger sister, it makes sense within the context of the story that Sokka and Gran Gran would shelter her after what happened, but as someone said, her anger is so central to her character and I just wish that got shown more. It's more of a script and direction problem tbh, if you look at Kia's interviews she has the sass and feistiness Katara needs

Lizzy as Azula is great, the writing is a bit clunky though so she did the best she could with it. Can't really comment on Mai and Ty Lee yet because they're kinda just there but it's a nice setup

Maria as Suki? perfection show stopping never the same she is a queen and I love the tidbit of Suki backstory which she never really had in the og show. I love her being such a loser around her crush we love to see girlfailures girlfailing. I wish the writers didn't make them KISS though 😭 slowburn ftw

the adults were great

Writing: 6.5/10

There were genuinely good moments and I love the concept of mixing up certain plot points to condense the story

But they just suffered from too much Telling instead of Showing WRITERS PLEASE LISTEN TO THE CRITICISM YOU HAVE TIME TO IMPROVE PLEASE

Omashu, mechanist, and Jet plot mixing as a concept was fine, but it dragged on and my friends and I got bored of it. I like it in theory but if it was going to take THAT long couldn't they have just separated one of those storylines for a different episode?

I appreciate that they tried to develop the water siblings' relationship by making them the stars of the Secret Tunnels, but I would've changed the way they "conquered" the problem (really? badgermoles respond to love? cute in theory but like why). If anyone's watched Barbie: A Fairy Secret there's a part where Barbie and her frenemy accuse each other of why their friendship failed, and it helps them make up and breaks the curse put on them. So that's what I would've done, force them in a life or death situation in which they have to say the unsaid things, maybe hug it out and boom

The way they handled Koh and the Spirit World was a Mess™ but the effects were decent

Zhao meeting horrible ends in every incarnation is so deserved

Yue having more agency was a welcome change AND I LOVE THAT SHE WATERBENDS. Then waterbends even when the moon is gone. It's such a nice visual nod to the fact that she has the moon spirit within her

That said, the show could definitely use more visual storytelling, less weird dialogue. Like it's so strangely common for shows or adaptations these days to exposition dump. Like they did not have to make Yue say that the ocean spirit was angry, literally just show me the dead moon fish and I'll get the idea. Then Iroh says "That's Wrath" that's just redundant now isn't it

I like that they saved Katara bringing Aang out of the Avatar State until last even if it could've been done better

HOW DARE THEY MAKE ME LIKE HAHN HE WAS A JERK IN THE SHOW BUT THEY MADE HIM A GENUINELY GOOD CHARACTER. Yes to brown men not being portrayed as jerks but also in the original it was a nice contrast to how far Sokka had come because Hahn reflected who he used to be. But live action Hahn </3

I like that they showed the deaths and blood. I wanted a live action that was both lighthearted but more realistic when it came to the injuries and death, and that'd kind of what I got

Other thoughts + overall

You can tell they put so much heart into this show, watching the bts, the bending boot camp with the correct martial arts, the easter eggs, the nods to the comics, the beautiful adaptations of Cabbage Merchant and Secret Tunnel nomads, there's so much passion behind the show it's a shame it suffered in its writing

which is why if they read reviews and criticism from the bigger name fans (TheAvatarist, HelloFutureMe, etc.) it would really help them improve for future seasons! The cast is stunning already and they have great chemistry (hopefully gets improved too!)

The live action is just a different angle to the show. And I'm saying this as an Avatar fan–the original wasn't perfect, either. I had some problems w it but the overall show was genuinely so good and heartfelt, those problems weren't glaring enough to put me off (unlike The Dragon Prince, sorry). The live action definitely wasn't perfect, but it tried to give us a new look into Avatar. Again, no adaptation will ever be a 1:1 remake and none should be. Where's the fun in that? But while the show is so full of heart and with actual fans working behind the scenes, I doubt if they listen to any criticism that they can't pull this off better next season.

[technicallyverycowboy]

playboyy: no fags, no femmes

okay, so. playboyy meta. thanks to @lugarn, @chaos0pikachu, and @cryptidafter for talking all this out with me <3

i originally started this post with "not to be that guy," but honestly, i do want to be that guy. because so much of the critique and analysis of playboyy i'm seeing is a) grounded in a lack of knowledge about queer history and aesthetics and b) veers unintentionally but wildly into unexamined homophobia.

so, given i'm going to reference susan sontag's notes on camp several times, i've decided i might as well go full queer studies major about it and copy the list style she uses. (i would highly recommend reading notes on camp. it is academic and somewhat dense, but it's a tame 13 pages)

1. so many people are confidently asserting that playboyy is not camp, regardless of what the creatives behind the show think. to which i have to ask: how are you defining camp? what things are campy to y'all?

2. the personal definition of camp that i arrived at after writing a bunch of papers about it is two-fold: camp is exaggeration, treating things that are serious casually and treating things that are casual seriously. camp is about an aesthetic of inhabiting a role, where something is a little bit off or being something that it's not meant to be.

and to be clear, this is a wildly incomplete and simplified definition, because one of the points of camp is that it's a vibe, not something concrete. It’s also something that shifts over time the relationship between queerness and society changes.

2a. camp often intersects and overlaps with surrealism, like in rocky horror picture show. very often media that is campy exits the mundane world and enters a heightened world of exaggeration and stylization. 

3. so, is playboyy campy? i sure as hell think it is. i think lugarn and chaos0pikachu both made really good points about the campiness of playboyy and it being specifically sexwork camp. (both replies are at that link.)

4. a brief list of things that specifically resonated as campy to me: first throwing american dollars in the pool for soong to catch, zouey's fantasy of feeling up teena in art class, every single element of nant's room (especially the projected images), captain's sports plot that involved zero doing the sport and 100% fucking and fantasy, the softly romantic framing of nuth and phob's sex scenes, jump's pleather tank top & coverall combination, prom wearing assless chaps to a rooftop party at 2:30 in the afternoon, the entire concept of investigating a disappearance via a themed party... i could go on and on, but i said this was brief.

5. i think the actual problem a lot of people have with playboyy is that it doesn't care about straight people.

6. what i mean by that is that playboyy is not a universal story. you could not plug different characters with different sexualities into the plot and preserve the essence of the story. the gayness of the characters is integral to the plot. the sex work is integral to the plot. this is not a world where homophobia doesn't exist and being gay is just like being straight.

7. additionally, these characters are all performing gender in a specifically queer way. they are femmes and fags, they are obvious, they are clockable, they're visible. when nice gays talk about the people who are giving gays a bad reputation and making it harder for everyone (to assimilate into heteropatriarchy) they're talking about playboyy gays.

8. comparing playboyy to only friends is low hanging fruit at this point, but i would argue that the reason boston stood out in that cast and was so viciously punished by the ending is because he was a fag stuck in a nice gays narrative.

9. and this is where the fandom homophobia comes in. so, so many people describe these characters and chaotic and messy, watchable as incoherent and vaguely amusing from a distance, but without real substance. the resulting narrative is often that no one could take their characters or their stories seriously or resonate with them.

10. again, why? why was ray and sand's high and low, blow up fights, calling each other whores relatable but soong and first's miscommunications about what they mean to each other unbelievable chaos? why is white taking black's place an acceptable plot point, but nont pretending to be nant is absurd?

11. most bls do not deal with flamboyance except in limited capacities by comedic side characters. flamboyance is a baseline trait for most of the playboyy characters. so if they feel too much, too loud, too out there, consider asking yourself why they do.

12. to a large extent, i think a lot of the criticism of playboyy is rooted in a bad faith refusal to engage with the show beyond a surface level pearl clutching about the sexual content. the unspoken belief here being that sex scenes are inherently vulgar distractions. they can't be integral to characters or their relationships. they can't be vital pieces of a narrative.

to which i say, there are nine thousand other BLs out there where the kissing is chaste and sex scenes are ~tastefully abstracted shots of shoulder blades and hands. watch those instead.

13. if you decide you want to watch it anyway, take a couple minutes to examine what parts of the show make you uncomfortable and why. and to be clear, i think there’s a lot of value in watching things that make you uncomfortable; media is often one of the best ways to dip into interrogating your emotional responses from a safe distance. 

but don’t use discomfort to dismiss the possibility that there’s meaningful artistic and stylistic choices made to serve a meaningful narrative. take a second to sit with your reactions and ask yourself where it’s coming from. 

[markantonys]

i just remembered there was some mention of a brief "welcome to jordancon" video from the cast, so i dug around and found it (it's at the very end of this video, but the stream freezes and gets garbled partway through so a chunk is missing; but from what i could hear i only heard these 4 actors' voices so i don't think there were any additional people we missed getting a look at) and oh my god ELAYNE'S OUTFIT??!!?!?!! she's in her Rich Girl Taking A Gap Year To Go Backpacking era, bless her

also adding in the costume glimpses we got in the s3 wrap video, just to see them all in one place (marcus and daniel were in this one too but it looks like the same costumes & backgrounds as above)

i'm not going to put too much stock in the sets they're on since they could just stick an actor onto any old set for purposes of recording a short video, doesn't necessarily mean that character actually has scenes on that set in the show, but it IS interesting that nynaeve's outfit seems a lot more similar in style & colors to moiraine's and rand's than to elayne's 🤔

obviously nynaeve will spend the majority of the season in tanchico with elayne, there's no doubt about that, but i wonder if there could be a bit more overlap between them and the waste gang than i'd been thinking? could my hopes of the tanchico crew meeting up with the waste crew towards the end of the season come true after all? or nynaeve's outfit here could be a TAR outfit, or a tanchico outfit that's just less Extra than elayne's haha or maybe it's actually falme-style clothing which they all bought before leaving on their respective trips (i do suspect that aviendha's clip, at least, was filmed during the shooting of an early episode since i would imagine she'd be in wise one clothes in the later episodes, although who knows)

[thestargayzingetherian]

She-Ra In He-Man Revelations/Revolution

So it's been a few days and I wanted to put this post out there to basically publicly give my thoughts on some... recent developments concerning He-Man Revolution. Before I go into this, MASSIVE SPOILER WARNING FOR THE SHOW!

And also, and this is probably MORE important than the spoiler warning. Do not, and I repeat, do not take whatever speculation I put in this post as gospel or something that is GOING to happen. I may be a bit more knowledgeable than a lot of people about this stuff, but I don't wanna consider myself an expert. This is just me speculating and giving my thoughts and I don't want to get anyone's hopes up because there's a good chance, that what I'm saying turns out to be completely wrong and I don't wanna be responsible for that, so please, take all of this with the smallest grain of salt possible.

With that out of the way...

So the new season of He-Man ends with the reveal of this lady, Despara. For those who don't know... she is Adora. As in She-Ra Adora. In the DC He-man comics, Despara was the name Adora was known as when she was raised as Hordak's daughter. Her name is often used by Catradora fan artists and fic writers who really wanna just make Adora a hot evil lesbian, usually with a hot butch hairdo. It is likely that if/when another season of this show comes, Despara will be the main focus.

Now this raises the obvious question... how are they going to handle the She-Ra stuff. As I have made posts about before, the She-Ra rights and He-Man rights have been separate for a very long time and apparently, the last thing I heard, Mattel themselves can't use any of the She-Ra characters in animated form due to Dreamworks owning them now.

So naturally, you might be thinking that Despara here is just a placeholder because they can't use She-Ra. Except... there are a LOT of She-Ra references in this season that are way too numerous to be just references.

For example:

They recreate the exact scene from the 80s She-Ra movie where Adora is taken as a baby by Hordak in a flashback scene. They also mention Horde Prime existing as well and they EVEN imply that Shadow Weaver exists in this universe as well and Hordak's new robot second-in-command, Motherboard is a replacement for her.

So yeah, all signs SEEMINGLY point to some sort of She-Ra-inspired adaption being the next part of this show. Now, considering the very complex rights issues... I can see this going one of two ways.

Mattel and Dreamworks did a deal like the one Sony and Marvel did with Spiderman to temporarily get the She-Ra rights back for JUST this next season. Despara is revealed to be Adora and her arc will be her learning her true family AND eventually becoming She-Ra to fight Horde Prime with her brother and possibly all the other She-Ra cast are there too. This I feel like it would be the ideal solution to all of this.

2. Despara is revealed to be someone else OTHER than Adora under her helmet because her face is obviously not seen in her brief scene when she takes her helmet off. Technically, Mattel would own Despara outright and not Dreamworks and they could easily make Despara her own character. This was also how they planned to include her in the second season of CGI He-Man. HOWEVER, considering all the foreshadowing and knowing how many people working on these shows loved SPOP... I feel like it'd be really unsatisfying if it wasn't Adora under the mask, both as a fan and from a creative standpoint.

As for my personal theory of what Despara's whole deal is, I think she's ruling Etheria on the other side of the galaxy with Catra and serving personally under Horde Prime. Basically SPOP but a bad ending. The plot will be He-Man and his friends finding out about Etheria and going there to free the planet and Despara will redeem herself and she and Catra and whoever will join team good guy.

But that's just my personal theory. I really don't know what the hell is going to happen here or even IF more episodes will even be coming and I don't want to get people's hopes up. There's a reason I myself have been working on my own She-Ra and He-Man crossover extended universe stuff for the last while so, at the very least, there'd be a fanfic that would satisfy my hopes. I am prepared to be very wrong here.

But even if none of this speculation pans out, I still highly recommend this show to She-Ra fans. The second season definitely fixed the few issues I had with the first one and I hope more comes out of this version of He-Man... then again, it wouldn't be the first time a He-Man series was cancelled.

Hope you find this post informative!

[cellarspider]

5/30 The pseudohistory of Prometheus

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We return to a movie I wish to send on a journey down the Kola Superdeep Borehole, Prometheus.

And my insanity truly begins in this segment. We are only 1/10th of the way through the movie so far. Content warnings for discussion of racism in pseudoscience and historical anthropology, Spider getting hung up on logistics and space nerd stuff, and pictures of Yuri Knorozov, the most sour-faced man to ever live.

The cast sits down for a briefing. This is a scene with an easily identifiable narrative function: providing exposition to the theater audience. The act of doing a briefing makes sense. It is the last thing here that will.

We are introduced to a hologram of Peter Weyland, the financier of the expedition. The name means all sorts of Lore to the series, but what’s intensely distracting is that we seem to have caught Weyland halfway through applying his zombie makeup.

Weyland is played by Guy Pierce. As of the filming of this movie, he was somewhere around 45 years old. Yes, they smothered this Australian in old man drag so that he could play this character. This is a baffling decision, that only gets slightly less baffling if you know the production history of the movie, which I did not at the time.

Guy Pierce was hired to play a younger Peter Weyland. There’s a promo video out there of him giving a fictional TED Talk in the not-to-distant future of next Sunday AD 2023, there were various plans for him to appear in the movie proper. None of those scenes are actually in the movie. They refused to double-cast the role for some reason. While the practical effects in the movie are generally excellent and it does make the tiniest smidge of sense that a hypercapitalist asshole would be portrayed as a literal rubber-faced movie monster, this, like many things in Prometheus, made the movie a very weird sit. One where I was increasingly less open to going along with the movie’s fiction. You are telling me that this is an actual human man. I am not buying it. He looks far less human than David, the only non-human there.

Speaking of David, Weyland calls him “the closest thing to a son I will ever have”, and then immediately says David is an inhuman lesser being, who does not appreciate the specialness of his existence because he does not have a soul.

Which is funny, because I think you can see David’s soul leaving his body at this exact moment.

Weyland then tries to mash in some existential weight to the movie: they might finally get an answer for “why are we here?” and all that jazz! He also tries to explain why naming a ship Prometheus is totally not like calling it Titanic II: Don’t think about the part of the myth where Prometheus is chained to a rock and has his ever-regenerating liver eaten by an eagle every day! Think about the bit where he brought fire to mankind! We’re gonna bring back that bit!

And then the archaeologists take over the briefing, and this, THIS, is the bit where they entirely lost me. My suspension of disbelief had already been strained by multiple oddities up to this point. My skepticism about these characters in particular was already a bit elevated by their implied invocation of the ancient astronauts concept.

Turns out, only Vickers, Shaw, and Holloway know why they’re here. 

Two years away from Earth. On a massively expensive expedition that intends to make first contact with an alien culture, the first alien culture that humankind has ever found evidence of. Nobody has been briefed up until this point.

This is lunacy.

Explanations have been figured out by fans since then: this is a passion project by Weyland, an annoyance to the rest of the corporate structure that nobody else believes in. The movie eventually intimates this, through Vickers. 

Fans have thus speculated that Weyland was just quarantined off to do his little alien hunt, with no logistical support that would make it actually functional. He believed a crazy theory put forward by Shaw and Holloway, and everyone else wasn’t actually best-of-the-best, they were just whoever would take a big paycheck to do fuck-all for nearly five years of sleeping their way to and from their destination.

I am willing to consider that this was intentional. The movie possibly tries to confirm this with Mr. “I’m here for the money” Fifield, but none of the other characters have enough characterization to determine if this is the general trend.

How could we make a story that more clearly spells this out? Maybe Millburn the biologist could encounter more of the crew talking about the payout from taking the job, or reveal that he himself has some project he needs money for. It would also chip away at the dearth of character-building dialog for most of the cast.

As a result of those deficiencies in characterization, a lot of my discussion of plot points is going to be focused around what they do, rather than why. …Except when it is about the why, at which point the main commentary will be “WHY.”

In any case: while it makes sense, I'm still not certain the film meant for this character motivation. Prometheus is just so loudly explicit with so many of its plot points that it doesn’t seem like this is the case. The movie certainly believes in the sincerity and correctness of the archaeologists, though.

Unfortunately, it also immediately tells me that they’re a couple of wingnuts. I’m not sure if it intends to, for reasons I’ll get into after I foam at the mouth for a little while.

They present a series of artifacts to the crew: Egyptian, Mayan, Akkadian, Sumerian, Hittite, Hawaiian, and their Scottish cave painting. All of them feature “men worshiping giant beings”, who are pointing to what stargazer nerds call an asterism: a pattern of stars. Shaw and Holloway believe that these are aliens that engineered humans into their current state. Shaw literally says “it’s what I choose to believe” as the entirety of their justification for this.

Again: I knew the movie wanted me to take this as truth, within its universe. That’s the implicit deal the movie has made with the audience, this is truth. You are supposed to be contemplating the "whys" of it all. But the movie had also smacked me in the brain so many times in the past five minutes, that I, like Millburn the Biologist, was ready to call bullshit.

I appreciate him for doing so, and it shows he could have been a smart character, but sadly, he is in Prometheus.

Because he is a fictional biologist and I am an actual biologist, I will expand on his argument, as I descend into ranting for the rest of the post.

Millburn objects on the basis of evolutionary history, which the movie only partially succeeds in papering over: the implication is that evolution on Earth was directed with the deterministic outcome of creating something like humans.

This opens up a whole new can of worms that the movie doesn’t get into–when exactly did this engineering start? When great apes evolved? When mammals did? Tetrapods? Skeletons? DNA itself? After all, we know the aliens, now dubbed Engineers by the archaeologists, have DNA. Did they seed all life on Earth? How did they evolve? Our last universal common ancestor is believed to have already been using DNA 3-4 billion years ago, evolving out of a likely RNA-based genetic standard. Hominins diverged from other apes around 15-25 million years ago. What sort of culture would undertake a project that required at least 15 million years on the extreme low end?

All excellent questions! The movie is not concerned with them. I am, and that is part of why this movie still lives in a special, awful place in my head.

This isn’t actually what made me become actively hostile toward the archaeologists, though. What managed that, well! It was their archaeology. Anybody who had an Ancient Egypt Phase in their childhood should be able to articulate multiple reasons why the academic community would’ve laughed these guys out of the building.

Bigness in ancient egyptian art does not indicate literal size. It indicates importance. In fact, the artifacts the movie uses exclusively come from artistic traditions which feature hierarchical or non-literal scale. Do the Engineers turn out to actually be eight feet tall? Yes! Am I still annoyed by this? ABSOLUTELY.

You know what else is a big problem? Many of the cultures they reference here had written language! A LOT of written language! They include Egyptian, Sumerian, Babylonian, and Mayan art in their evidence, all of which not only wrote a LOT of things down, but had a habit of annotating a lot of their art with labels to tell you what was going on! You can actually see some on the props they used in this scene!

Beyond that, they had very prescribed formal styles, where you can follow the action entirely through gestures, held objects, attendant symbols, and clothing! If all these cultures, as implied, had actual, direct contact with aliens, recorded in the art presented here, we would know what they were told.

Skipping ahead of the movie for a minute: the Engineers were apparently not telling humans “we’re here in these stars, come find us”, they were telling humans “settle the fuck down or this is where the hurt’s going to come from”. 

Here's the thing. Ancient peoples weren't stupid. They wouldn't just not talk about this. If giant aliens came down from the sky and gave them a stern talking-to that contradicted their religion, that would be a big deal. And these characters specifically say the Engineers are being "worshiped" in these images! They're apparently taking onboard what's being said!

It is certainly possible for information to be lost. Over long time scales, that's unfortunately the rule, rather than the exception. But again: half the artifacts have writing on them!

I chose to believe that Shaw and Holloway simply did not attempt to read any available translations of attendant texts, and they were thus cursed for their foolishness by the ghosts of Mayan Studies pioneer Yuri Knorozov and Egyptologist Jean-François Champollion, and the still-extant spirit of Assyriologist Irving Finkel.

Knorozov knows your sins against Mayan Studies. Knorozov is a vengeful god. Chapollion and Finkel are likewise very cross.

Two last things stood out to me in the theater. One of them was extremely petty but tied into some very serious issues with pseudoscience, and the other one was not.

Pettiness first: the asterism shown in the artifacts is a pattern of six stars. The movie wants you to believe that it is very spooky that the only asterism that precisely matches this pattern are six stars that are too faint to see with the naked eye. This is laughable, both because the asterism is so generic-looking that I can think of several very visible asterisms that are good matches for the pattern, but it also recapitulates a bunch of really fucking annoying stuff from pseudoscientific bullshit. 

First: Pseudoscience and pseudohistory likes to make a big deal out of the fact that every culture has stories about the stars. Why? 

The sky is very important to every culture’s mythology, because every culture can see the sky. Like, that’s literally it. People can see the sky. They tell stories about it. There’s not much to do at night except look at the sky, when even keeping a fire lit can be an expensive prospect. It is not even the least bit weird when multiple cultures–all of them in the northern hemisphere in this case!–have stories about the same stars.

Second: Cultures vary in their ability to faithfully reproduce celestial landmarks in art and align their architecture is variable, and not as exact as modern techniques can manage. Pseudoscience will claim that they are exact, when it fits their pre-existing theory, or fudge the difference if they want something to fit their claims.

(This is a photoshopped image, by the way.)

Were the stone age temples of Malta secretly aligned with a particular star that foretold the doom of Atlantis, precisely tracking its location through the sky over thousands of years of Earth’s axial wobbling? No! They were roughly aligned with the sun. Sunlight is important when you don’t have electric lights. Were the Great Pyramids of Giza laid out ten thousand years ago to match the layout of the stars in Orion’s Belt, according to the designs of a legendary lost race of highly advanced non-African people? Were they tapping into the Earth’s magnetic field to generate energy? No! They were aligned with the cardinal directions, and they got them a bit wrong! 

Hell, if we want to play at that game, I found a decent match for the asterism in Stellarium's Egyptian constellation set. Just flip this 90 degrees clockwise and you'll see I'm totally right. Aliens confirmed.

I know the movie is trying to tell me that all the asterisms in the art are precise matches for each other and are thus impossible to explain without intercultural contact (or aliens!!), but it is also showing me that they are not that precise. So, it’s just showing me stars. At least in some of them. Their little charcoal lad from the Isle of Skye may be throwing fruit at his audience.

In fact, there's a further, probably unintentional link to pseudohistorical claims in the artifacts presented: the Maya artifact shown does not actually depict a "giant figure" being worshiped, in fact, it shows one instantly recognizable, known figure in Classical Maya history: It is an altered version of the ornately carved coffin lid of Kʼinich Janaab Pakal I (24 March 603 - 29 August 683), with the top quarter of the carving replaced with a star pattern that looks nothing like the ones on the other artifacts.

The carving shows Pakal in the pose of an infant, entering into death and being reborn. It is packed full of so many symbolic elements that can be easily recognized by those more familiar with the Classical Maya than I am.

Conspiracy theorist Erich von Däniken thought that it showed Pakal rocketing away on a spaceship. Däniken proposed this because he didn't understand the cultural symbolism, but he had seen pictures of astronauts before.

And on that note, 2,400 words into this rant, we get to the actually bad shit. Unfortunately, it ties into the issue I had with the premise to begin with: the real-world context of pseudoscientific claims of ancient alien contact. Specifically, the racism.

We’re going to unspool this more near the end of the movie, because there was further behind the scenes I was not aware of when I first saw Prometheus, and it just compounds this stuff. 

So, when I went on my first tangent on how unpleasant ancient alien theories are, one thing I highlighted is that the further from Western Civilization you get, the more these theories presuppose that fellow humans are incapable of building great works or imagining interesting things. No, they had to be guided, and explicitly shown things that they copied down to the best of their limited capability.

The only european example of alien contact they show is from the Upper Paleolithic, 37,000 years ago. All the examples around the Mediterranean and Mesopotamia range from 5,500-3,700 years ago. The examples from the Classical Maya and Hawaiʻi are from 620 and 680 CE. 

During this period, Tang Dynasty merchants were creating the first paper money as the famous female emperor Wu Zetian was on her way to the throne. The Prophet Muhammad went to al-Aqsa mosque, and we’re only eight years before the birth of Charlemagne’s grandfather. We’re no longer talking ancient, it’s just old.

I want to emphasize that the movie is presenting these not as depictions of myths that have been passed down–though there are more problems with that I’ll get into shortly–these are implied to be contemporary depictions of events witnessed by the artists, who were quite possibly instructed by the Engineers to record a precise pattern of stars. An equivalency is being drawn between stone age Europe, bronze age Africa and the Middle East, and a couple of startlingly recent Mesoamerican and Polynesian cultures. 

But let’s be generous. Maybe these aren’t supposed to be contemporary accounts in these two outlier cases: the movie’s script will certainly indicate later that they have no idea what they’ve implied here. Perhaps these are story traditions that were handed down from the Olmecs and Melanesian precursors of the first to sail to Hawaiʻi. 

Unfortunately, this just recapitulates a different racist trope: that European and more “developed” civilizations invented so much cool and comfortable material culture and philosophy that they forgot the Mystical Religious Truths of the old ways, which were preserved only in Primitive Lands and among Uneducated Peoples, where they never found anything better to do with their time. Oh, if only we had heeded the warnings from those spiritually attuned non-white people!

(Look, I only remember Devil (2010), which has 50% on Rotten Tomatoes, because M Night Shyamalan wrote and produced it, and this was two years after The Happening came out, so I watched it out of morbid curiosity. It's not as unbelievably bad as The Happening, but as shown in the clip above, the spiritually attuned latino security guard Ramirez attributes toast landing jelly side down to Satan. That is an actual thing that happens in the movie. He is proven right.)

But let's be even more generous: someone probably realized that they'd focused near-exclusively on Middle Eastern cultures, and wanted to throw in a couple from elsewhere. Sitting here, having seen the movie in full, this is the most likely option: their inclusion creates a contradiction with a later scene, and was thus probably not checked for consistency. These cultures were thrown in as a bit of background flavor. I list this last, because in the theater, there was no way to know this at the time.

That answer's still not great. Still leaves us in the same position, where Europeans are pretty much given their own agency, while other cultures need to be led.

Oh, and to anyone else who’s made it this far and knows the production history of Prometheus: don’t worry! I know what Ridley Scott told that one interviewer, about a contact between a less-ancient European power and the Engineers. I’m saving that one. I like to save that one, because strategic deployment of that quote made some of my IRL friends scream.

Next time: the Prometheus descends to an alien world, and I descend further into madness. I am going to drag you all down with me.

(Pictured: Yuri Knorozov, and my present mood.)

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Citations for alt text ramblings:

https://www.almendron.com/artehistoria/arte/culturas/egyptian-art-in-age-of-the-pyramids/catalogue-fourth-dynasty/

[scoobydoodean]

Hi I don’t really know how to word this correctly but I was wondering if you have any thoughts on how costuming informs how fans view the brothers? Specifically during disagreements?

Early seasons fans don’t really know the characters so costumes and props are a large part in informing the audience of how we are meant to view and receive characters.

I personally find Sam has a softer look and combined with being the youngest Dean gets categorised as being the bad guy who led him astray, especially bc he dresses… more edge to his look? Idk the word I’m looking for it’s escaping me.

Specifically with clothing (and maybe casting?) I wonder if people would be as harsh if they were swapped, like literally only that aspect and nothing about them.

Tv is all intentional so I’m just interested in your thoughts

This is an interesting question.I went back and looked at the clothing in some of the brothers early disagreements that came to mind (seasons 1-4). While the brothers dressed more distinctly during the early series (Sam showing a preference for hoodies and a Carhart jacket vs Dean's leather jacket and jewelry). I found that during the fights I remembered most, they didn't seem to be dressed all that differently. A leather jacket is a classic "bad boy" piece of attire, but Dean isn't actually wearing it in a lot of their arguments.

Here's their fight in the Pilot (which I brightened a little bit just to be able to see).

Sam's wearing lighter colors, but what feels more significant to me is the lighting. I always remember Sam's face bathed in shadow as he steps toward Dean with an almost menacing tone, and Dean pushing Sam against the railing.

Their attire also isn't very distinct during their small spat in 1.02, and it's hard for Dean to look imposing in side by side shots.

Sam is wearing his Carhart jacket in "Asylum" and shot from below to accentuate his height.

One would be hard pressed to suggest this episode makes him look like some soft kid. He's teeth-gnashingly angry most of the episode and lashing out.

In the asylum, he looms over Dean as he insults him and Dean looks vulnerable and hurt.

Overall, I think if anything, season 1 portrays Dean as the "rational" and "level-headed" member of the family, shouldered with two loved ones blinded with desperation for revenge.

Note: In the fight in 1.20, Dean's wearing the leather jacket, and I think we can ascribe significance to that—but rather than it casting Dean as a negative influence, it—as "dad's" jacket—seems to distinguish Dean as the "parent" of the group.

Another notable aspect of the gif where Dean pulls Sam and John apart in 1.20 is how the shot accentuates Sam and John's height as compared to Dean... and we often see Sam's size accentuated in scenes where he's angry—whether the shot is captured from below his eyeline, he's making broad gestures that accentuate his wingspan, or he's simply looming over Dean or throwing him.

Sam's softer moments in season 1 are usually ones where he's worried about himself, Dean, or John rather than when he's fighting with anyone. Look at him in "Faith" for example on the phone with John:

The one scene where Sam and Dean have a brief fight and Sam is dressed in a "soft" manner that comes to mind is "Something Wicked" when he's wearing the famous purple dog shirt. But in this scene, they only fight briefly because Sam is confused about Dean's unusual thought process and can sense that he's hiding something. So it's still more of a "Worried about Dean" look in the end.

Season 2 brings Dean's anger boiling to the surface in a way that wasn't present in season 1, but I don't necessarily get much from the clothing here.

Season 3 and 4 clothing during notable fights:

Especially in season 1, I think Sam is actually pretty scary and imposing when he's angry. I don't tend to get the impression from his posture or attitude that he's cowed and he never looks vulnerable to me. Dean in season 1 very rarely raises his voice and is almost never the aggressor in their conflicts.

[cinemaocd]

My Revised Ranking of Every David Lean Film

based on how gay they are

Lawrence of Arabia: the reigning champ, the queen of the desert, the only certified canon, 100% gay film in the Lean filmography. Lawrence of Ali are married. There are lots of other romantic subplots as well...

A Passage to India: would it have been gayer, had Merchant & Ivory made it? Yes. It's still, and I can't stress this enough, INCREDIBLY gay...I mean where shall we begin with Aziz and Fielding. They have a meet cute (Fielding is in the shower! Aziz stops by), whenever they talk one of them is usually sitting on a bed, they have a David Lean Train Station Good-bye which is pretty much the gayest thing you can put in a movie and some classic tropes like Fielding covering Aziz as he sleeps, I mean...yeah. Wow. Great movie and I'm in love with Victor Banerjee now so there's that.

Great Expectations: I put this a lot lower on the last list and then people came out of the woodwork to tell me how wrong I was and then started dropping receipts...so I guess I'm willing to admit when I make mistakes. Alec Guinness used his character name from this film, Herbert Pocket, when he was arrested for a homosexual act.

Bridge on the River Kwai: after a rewatch I placed this much higher on the list than last time. There was a lot of stuff I'd forgotten about but especially this scene...

Brief Encounter: yeah it’s practically the template for hetero longing but it was written by a gay man and that checks out: gay men have more longing in their pinky than most people have in their whole body.

Blithe Spirit: Noel Coward again. Witty drawing room comedy where everyone is smashed out of their minds and everyone has slept with everyone…how is this not just gay culture?

Dr. Zhivago: this film is only gay if one day on the 34th viewing your friend goes: wow Julie Christie looks a lot like Peter O'Toole. And then you can’t unsee it and it’s just Lawrence 2: This time they’re in Russia.

Hobson’s Choice: the presence of Laughton alone ups the anti on the queerness of this film. Then there’s the romantic hero of the film. His name is Willie…and he is… just very submissive. Something something metaphor for cock shaming and there’s probably a thesis to be done out of a queer reading of this film.

Summertime: pretend Rosanno Brazzi is a butch lesbian and this is Carol but they fuck and no one dies.

Ryan's Daughter: Lawrence of Arabia screenwriter, Robert Bolt penned this adaptation of Madame Bovary set in Ireland after the Easter Rising. The schoolteacher is played by Robert Mitchum, rather drastically against type after his Max Cady adventures. Charles O'Shaunessy is a very gay coded character who presses flowers and has a hard time fucking his very hot young wife. Nothing to see here...

The Passionate Friends: the addition of Claude Rains to any cast automatically add a bonus 10 Queer points.

Madelaine: I dunno, a women-centered noir with Psychosexual Themes is usually pretty queer.

The Sound Barrier: Lean's shortest film probably took me the longest time to get through....Even Ralph Richardson can not save this one for me. Similar to The Dam Busters and Spit Fire, but without the press of a hot war to up the tension. It's merely a race against the Americans to go a bit faster. I know scientifically it was a big deal, but the stakes are lower and Ralph plays another mean, cold dad character. :( Also, maybe some gayness between the pilots but I couldn't tell them apart well enough so it might have just been onanism...

[tepkunset]

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes Film Review

(This review contains spoilers!)

I consider The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes book to be a masterpiece that sets a standard of what YA Fiction can be; something that any young adult upwards can enjoy. Suzanne Collins does such an amazing job of pulling you into the world and characters she’s created, and doesn’t shy away from the truly grotesque things that make a dystopia feel impactful. I am glad to say that, for the most part, this film lives up to that standard.

Before anything else, I do want to get a few minor complaints out of the way. Keep in mind they did not ruin the film for me, but I feel they are worthy of pointing out.

Sejanus Plinth is my favourite character in the book, and while for the most part he is very accurate, there is one thing that really disappointed me: In the book, Sejanus knew damn well what he was doing with the rebels; he deliberately supplied them with weapons. But in the film, he has the line “I didn’t know there would be guns”, discovering for the first time that they used his money to arm themselves. This really feels like de-clawing his character to me.

It would’ve been nice to have at least a brief mention that Barb Azure is gay. I can understand why they had to cut out Pluribus Bell for time, but because the also cut him out, that means there’s no mention at all of the book’s queer characters in the film.

The relationship between Coriolanus and Sejanus has a much more bitter feeling in the film than in the book, and after sleeping on it, I think I know why: Because we don’t get to hear Coriolanus’s thoughts in the film, the film I think overcompensates by making him much more verbal about his snobbery towards Sejanus. Subsequently, it’s harder to believe why Sejanus sees Coriolanus as his best friend.

Okay now, onto the praises!

The story is extremely loyal to the book. In fact, there is a lot of dialogue that is ripped right of the page, and it all made me really happy to hear. I am especially glad they kept in this pinnacle Lucy Gray quote: “I think there’s a natural goodness built into human beings. You know when you’ve stepped across the line into evil, and it’s your life’s challenge to try and stay on the right side of that line.” Because this, of course, directly enforces the core message I took from the book: Good and evil is a choice. The choices that Coriolanus made are his to hold responsibility to, and as much as you can point at Dr. Gaul for introducing him to the path he takes, ultimately, he chose to walk it. Most of the changes were understandable cuts for time without any sacrifices being too detrimental. The things they added were all, in my opinion, enhancements to the story by expanding on what only happens on the peripheral of Coriolanus’s point of view in the book. For example, the things he only watches on screen in the arena are delved further into by shifting to Lucy Gray directly a few times. They also added a bit to Coral’s character at her time of death, which I liked because it made her out to be less of a cardboard antagonist and instead reminded the audience that she, too, is a victim of the system.

All the actors did a phenomenal job, from both the main and supporting cast. Tom Blyth does a great job at showing Coriolanus Snow’s progression down the path of a young villain in the making. Rachel Zegler does a great job at capturing Lucy Gray’s charm and free spirit. Josh Andrés Rivera does a great job at selling the weight Sejanus carries around with him, and has some of the best line deliveries in the film in my opinion. (My favourite being “I’m so blameless I’m choking”.) And I especially have praise for Viola Davis as Dr. Volumnia Gaul, who does an amazing job at bringing the unhinged character from the book onto the screen. She’s properly intimidating and strange at the same time. Dimitri Abold as Reaper was also a scene-stealer, in that he captures what I absorbed from the book really well; the western societal expectation that a young Black man is a danger that is then turned on its head. Not only does he not kill a single person, he has a very emotional moment of mourning for the tributes, collecting their bodies as he does in the book, and covering them with the Panem flag – something that outrages the audience more than the actual death of the children.

The scenery is very loyal to the descriptions provided in the book; I swear they stole it straight from my own personal imagination while reading.

The music… I don’t even know how to put to words my satisfaction in how the film adapts the music written out in the book, into an actual song. My personal favourite is “Nothing You Can Take From Me”. Rachel Zegler has a great voice, for sure.

The costume design is great. The Capitol’s eccentricities we know from the core trilogy haven’t evolved yet, but there’s still a certain flavour carried with characters like Tigris and Dr. Gaul for example, that tell a story of where the fashion will eventually end up. On the other hand, we see that things haven’t changed very much for District Twelve at all, which showcases how society’s change is stilted in poverty.

The colour palette of the film is mostly just a little desaturated, with one exception: whenever Lucy Gray takes Coriolanus outside of District Twelve. The meadow, the lake, and the forest are all noticeably more colourful, which I interpreted as representing the freedom these locations offer to the characters.

All in all, I think the film was fantastic. It is easily the most loyal Hunger Games adaptation, and I don’t think that’s coincidental in its quality.

[eslanes]

Storytelling Secret Saturday Sunday

@havenroyals tagged me in a super cute post to share some juicy story-related secrets. So, for anyone interested, here are some A Devil Between Us lore straight from my brain:

(side note, I will finish the story if it's the last thing I do! There's literally only the ending left and I hate the idea of pouring years into it only to leave it unfinished!)

I put this all under a cut as it got way lengthier than I anticipated! Considering how friggin long the story is I tried to keep it fairly brief (I failed but anyway)

Tillie was supposed to get more screen time, mostly in Prodigal Daughter (ch.4). She hasn't really been seen much since her romance/marriage to Airdan. Nothing overly exciting, but a few cut scenes with Sky but mainly Kyra (we'll get further into that). Also cut was at least one scene showing Tillie and Airdan in wedded bliss. There will be a cute scene with them in the epilogue though!

Zander was also supposed to get wayyy more backstory, but I ended up cutting a lot with him, for the sake of time/trying to stay focused on the main storyline, especially as it was nearing the end. In the first couple chapters, there are several references to his difficult childhood, complicated family dynamics and the resulting impact on his mental health etc. There's a scene in Devotion (ch.3) where we see him cutting while dealing with the aftermath of Aida disappearing/skipping town. At this point in the story he has not-so-secret feelings for her and relapses as a result of this loss. I don't think there are any other mentions of this after Tillie finds out and. I also cut pretty much everything in relation to his relationship with Kyra (again will get into this more), other than they're together and very happy. Them getting together wasn't even a planned thing, but it was a good decision because they are cute AF together. There will also be a sweet epilogue scene with them at least. One last point, a while back I did a Faelern family tree post, I'm thinking I'll do one for Zander for context at the very least.

Amazing, awesome, gorgeous Kyra. To say I did her dirty is an understatement. She initially appeared as Aida's doctor in Tender Prey (ch.2). I had so many plans to flesh her out but, like many Tillie and Zander scenes (she was supposed to be properly introduced in Devotion (ch.3) as Tillie's acquaintance turned friend) they were cut purely in the interest of time/focus. She's a great character and I love her so much but I definitely fumbled her. It sticks out to me even more considering she's the only black character (will touch on this a little more). I don't even think I mentioned the fact that in her spare time she writes smutty novels under a pen name 😭 she will get a moment to shine and a sweet epilogue post but still. I'm so sorry Kyra!

Sky was always meant to be bisexual. Another thing I meant to touch on a bit but ended up on the cutting room floor, so to speak. I have regrets.

I definitely wish I did better with representation. I did my best with my knowledge at the time of starting the story/introducing the characters, but as a learning, growing individual there are things I wish I did a better job with now. Namely Kyra being cast aside as a minor character, definitely not intentional but I have big regrets here (not because of her race obviously but I hate the thought of a successful, intelligent black woman not being given enough screen time as she's so awesome and was meant to be seen a lot more, especially considering she's the only black character). Not to say I didn't try to include a variety of ethnicities/cultures in the story (Sky and Diego are both Latinx, Airdan is of Persian descent, Faelern is half Lakota though I think when I made him in CAS in 2014 I based his features on those of Cree peoples). But like Kole was meant to have Asian ancestry (where???) so I definitely did him dirty. During one of his more recent makeovers I did give him a new eye overlay but it definitely doesn't fix this glaring issue. Anyway, at the very least I can say I've learned a lot and can identify ways to do better in this area. Growth is good.

Speaking of Kole, it's very obviously alluded to the fact that he and Aida start sleeping together after Jace ends his relationship with her. I was gonna include a NSFW scene but cut it because it was too depressing. It's already blatant that she's in a very destructive downward spiral at this point.

Finally, I've been back and forth on this over the years but I decided I do not regret the copious amount of graphic sex/violence featured throughout the story. When I was first putting it together in 2015 simblr stories were the equivalent of the Wild West, the large amount of stuff I distinctly remember being written about (often with not a trigger warning in sight) would probably not fly today (I can think of two off the top of my head that included assaults on minors that even I found very disturbing). I definitely noticed a shift after the Great Titty Ban of 2018. I totally get being sensitive regarding triggers/trigger warnings and ensuring that minors aren't exposed to shit they shouldn't be. That being said, I do think there's a balance. For me personally, my blog is intended for adult audiences and is labeled as such. And, like other media that features graphic/disturbing elements, I think it moreso depends on how things are handled. While the story features some very heavy/disturbing topics (kidnapping, murder, sexual assault etc etc), in retrospect I think I did a decent job of being deliberate with these elements. Each dark/disturbing scene is intended to be just that, and treated with appropriate gravity. While I recognize that this is not everyone's cup of tea, I have no regrets. As for the non-disturbing sex scenes, what can I say, I love a bit of smut lol.

If you made it to this point, congratulations (and thank you for reading!)