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How VR porn can change the way we masturbate for the better

May is National Masturbation Month, and we're celebrating with Feeling Yourself, a series exploring the finer points of self-pleasure.

When VR was tech's pie in the sky years ago, people's minds ran wild imagining all the new ways it could get us off. But then VR actually came, and largely, there wasn't all that much to cum about.

Instead of opening us up to new, previously unimaginable forms of self-pleasure, for the most part its nascent existence has been little more than an extension of the clichés we've come to expect from Tube sites. Whether it's the rote 360 3D VR porn made most accessible through sites like Pornhub, or the more interactive adult VR games about customizing your own virtual sex doll — many criticize VR porn for being even more limited to the cis, heteronormative male gaze than regular porn.

But that's finally beginning to change.

"In the early days there was a concern that, if there's only a handful of people making content, they'll only make content that appeals to them or who they envision their consumers to be," said Ela Darling, a pioneer in the VR porn space as a performer as well as CMO of adult-only VR platform PVR and its IRIS headset. "But now there are more and more newcomers making diverse content, because the tech's finally making it more accessible to create."

As it turns out, there are untold, untapped possibilities for VR to transform the way we masturbate. And while the same problems from years ago remain, a new swath of VR porn is delivering on the medium's greatest promises, allowing for more intimacy between player and porn viewer, embodied experiences, better storytelling, and virtual explorations of kink. 

From the impressive furry VR game Yiffalicious or innovatively kinky Dominatrix Simulator, some of the most popular virtual reality adult games are being made by small teams of indie designers sustained through niche, yet dedicated, Patreon communities. In the realm of live-action performances, PVR is about to launch a novel series of ASMR VR porn, with a gender-neutral design focused on sensorial experiences. 

"What's most important to creating engaging adult content in VR is not a perfect pair of boobs you can play with. It's about erotica, creating experiences through storytelling," said Ana Valens, a game designer and Daily Dot columnist covering trans experiences, sexuality, and VR porn. (Note: The author of this article knows Valens socially.)

VR porn needs to move past the infantile stage of pure gimmick or odd sex toy to become relevant.

"And that's the direction the industry seems to be heading towards as people realize, OK, this isn't enough," she said.

The virtual reality porn gap

The current issues keeping VR porn from reaching more innovative, varied, and inclusive heights are reflective of the regular porn industry it grew from. But in VR porn, the issues of inclusivity are only exacerbated by the additional gatekeepers of tech, cost, and access.

Most mainstream VR porn is exclusively heteronormative and cis-gendered, assuming the user is male and excluding trans identities. This is likely driven by who has the resources, not only to have VR but to also make it. While the diversity of audiences is increasing through niche communities, the prevailing consumer base remains cis men. 

VR can be more than a virtual sex doll for men.

Image: bob al-greene / mashable art team

"Many VR porn creators seem less focused on exploration and possibly self-discovery, and more on simply getting off. That's fine. It's just not what we're all about," said Devilish Domina, who is the mind and voice behind the Dominatrix Simulator. "It seems like developers in this space are more opportunistic than seeing it as an art form. And because it tends to be a more taboo area, it likely doesn't attract as many experienced developers."

How the indie scene can save VR porn

While the norms of regular porn define the offerings of bigger, more traditional VR porn publishers like Naughty America, creators like Dominatrix Simulator's Deviant Tech are carving out their own space with their own growing audience.

Unlike many other VR games (erotic or otherwise) that assume you're male, Dominatrix Simulator gives you the option between two genders — and is currently working on adding non-binary options due to fan requests.

Worship her — or just take the headset off if it becomes too much.

Image: deviant tech

But that's not all that makes Dominatrix Simulator a beacon of innovation and sexual exploration in VR porn games. 

In the game, a femme-dom (who comes in four different varieties) tells you what to do. While you get some dialogue options to communicate consent, the idea is that the dominatrix basically inhabits the role of the player, while the person wearing the headset becomes her game as a submissive, flipping the traditional adult video script of the player being in control. She knows whether or not you've obeyed, too, since the motion controls can detect whether you're kneeling like she commanded, for example.

SEE ALSO: Naughty America is betting big on VR porn at SXSW

"It's no longer just about your alone time at night getting off," Valens said. "It allows you to explore what it means to be a submissive, or in a BDSM relationship. What does it mean to play an adult game when you are not the one in charge? VR is perfect for that kind of question because BDSM is such an embodied experience."

While Dominatrix Simulator delivers an immersive BDSM simulation, it's also a tool for dipping your toes in BDSM rather than trying it first IRL.

"One of the things we've been most excited about with creating a VR submission experience for players is how safe it can be for new people to delve into kinky experiences, experiment being controlled in a really safe way, and enjoy themselves in the privacy of their own homes," said Devilish Domina. "Submitting isn't always easy. Being kinky or queer isn't always easy."

But in VR porn, you can let loose in ways you wouldn't imagine doing in real life. Also, unlike healthy BDSM relationships IRL, you can quit the virtual session whenever you want without needing to go through the usual steps with a partner, like aftercare (the term used for the check in stage after the roleplay is done). 

"With our game, people are gaining confidence in their bodies and their interests. Many of them are taking risks and talking on our server, asking the 'newbie' questions, and venturing out to find others in the real world," said Devilish Domina. "And we hope to keep offering this kind of sex-positive space."

Much like a dominatrix, the simulator, "gives players the chance to experiment with letting go, giving in, and, ultimately, giving themselves permission to enjoy their bodies and their pleasure," she said. "We tell players to get naked. To show off. To touch themselves. To orgasm. We give them permission to let go." 

As with many indie adult VR games of its kind, the Patreon community around Dominatrix Simulator is not only integral to funding their work but also to creating the diversity of content that VR porn deserves.

Who knows, maybe you're into being a furry? No harm in trying.

Image: Yiffalicious,  Craket

"The fan community is absolutely critical for the indie and non-mainstream VR porn scene," said Devilish Domina, pointing to others like Yiffalicious and Virt-a-mate. "Fans with VR rigs know how small the market is to them for games, let alone VR porn, so they are a generous bunch who want to help fund new projects."

Aside from exploration, though, there's also an educational element to the best kind of VR porn.

Darling saw the potential for adult-themed VR as a form of social learning. She helped create a VR dating simulator of sorts, set in a rainy cafe where the viewer would get to talk to a holographic capture of herself and other performers.

There wasn't any actual porn involved, but if the player handled the situation well, they could get more forward and sexual with her. Their ability to broach the topic, though, was reliant on an invisible point system that accounted for whether the player chose to first engage in polite conversation rather than immediately jump into inappropriate or even mean behavior.

"If you said anything like that before you had established a rapport with this holographic person, she'd be like, 'You know what, I'm going to go.' We even put in a functionality where it would detect where your gaze was focused, so if you're staring at my tits my holograph would be like, 'Excuse me, my eyes are up here," she said. 

The erotica of embodiment, environment, and intimacy

For a long time, Darling dominated the camgirl VR scene because she emphasized intimacy with the viewer.

"What works best in VR isn't these, you know, Olympic-style sexual scenes of extreme, graphic aggression. It's the ones that feel the most intimate and personal," Darling said. 

View this post on Instagram

New job, who dis? I’m officially the Chief Marketing Officer of PVR, an awesome adult VR headset/technology company!

A post shared by Ela Darling (@eladarling) on Jul 26, 2018 at 9:37am PDT

When it came to the new ASMR series, establishing that relationship was the central direction director Anna Lee gave all their performers. ASMR is already intimate itself, but VR brings a whole new level of closeness. "Incorporating the really cerebral aspects of ASMR with the visceral VR experience deepens and heightens that connection," said Darling..

That's true for the more game-ified adult VR experiences as well, though obviously in a more fantastical context.

"World-building is really important to creating arousing experiences. Mainstream porn has set a low bar for what is possible," Devilish Domina said. "But with this kind of immersive playground, we can make all fantasies into realities. We can let our players be someone they are not, like how people swap genders in games all the time ... We have had so many requests for experiences players just cannot have in real life."

And for sex columnist Ana Valens those possibilities are also in a way what makes VR potentially so valuable to the queer community.

While the world of VR is still severely lacking in queer content, some queer women have taken to adult games like Honey Select, which allows them to customize every minute detail of a virtual woman. But it still assumes the player is male, and that both participants are cis.

"One thing that's bummed me out a lot about these adult VR games is that there's just no bodies like mine. It's just not there. I'm not gonna find it. It's just not what the priority is because, again, VR porn is mostly made for men," Valens said. 

That's a particular shame, too, since VR as a medium is defined by its capacity to let you inhabit other bodies. That's an invaluable experience for someone who has never felt at home in their real-life body.

VR porn has come a long way since its earliest days of being just Tube porn on a Google Cardboard headset. But somehow, we're more ready to explore hardcore fantastical furry sex before approaching experiences grounded in the actual realities of trans people's embodied experiences.

"I don't know when we're going to see more queer VR games," Valens lamented. "We do see some, but adult queer VR probably won't happen for a while."

The good, the bad, and the future of getting off in VR

VR porn is far from having reached the height of its potential, with too many practical issues (like availability) to address before it possibly ever could. But some creators and a willing audience seem equally invested in seeing its freak flag fly. It feels like we've never felt closer to watching adult-themed VR flourish into something great.

The Deviant Tech team is already looking into how to implement remote controlled toys tied to Dominatrix Simulator's game controls ("think buttplug.io," Devilish Domina said.) 

"We hope that our game kicks off a whole new niche in VR of self-loving, self-empowering porn — where, in the privacy of their own mind, people can experience their fantasies and explore new ones," she said.

But she is also cautious of certain aspects of VR porn, particularly its incredible power to allow users to lose themselves in those fantasies.

"The more immersive and realistic a game is — the more it makes a player feel — and the more addicting it can become. Porn is already a very addicting medium and many people find their relationships challenged when one partner is compulsive in their porn usage," she cautioned.

Similarly, Valens notes that VR porn will be defined by the ethics of the people wielding that tool.

"As the technology gets better, it becomes a tool, and a tool can be good and a tool can be bad. Tools that enter the hands of bigots or people that hate women are going to be used horribly," she said. As an example, she pointed to Studio FOW, a notorious hyper-realistic form of animated porn known for its extremely brutal, horrifyingly graphic, and unbelievably popular content. 

There's another worry, too, that this burgeoning indie adult VR game scene will be squeezed out by big developers who limit the tech.

"Inevitably, VR porn will mainstream VR in general. And then VR companies will want to move to a closed garden format, like Android or iPhone," said Valens. "That would mean that the kind of resources needed to make VR porn would stay in the hands of these really privileged developers rather than being shared with marginalized people."

A towering, giant VR Dominatrix shows VR porn's potential.

Image: deviant tech

But Darling is confident in VR porn's mainstay power among fans, who seem more than willing to pay to ensure it addresses various kinks and desires.

At its worst, VR porn can be just more of the same — if not even worse at objectifying women by turning them into literal objects to be manipulated and controlled by presumably male players. But at its best, VR porn is beginning to open doors to an endless possibility of new and progressive spank bank material.

"The world is changing. People want bodily autonomy. Sexual autonomy. And we want to see VR porn and adult experiences encourage this," said Devilish Domina. "There is so much potential for educating people about their bodies, letting them try different relationship styles, be different people, and give them the chance to discover more about themselves in a safe, non-judgmental environment."

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