#You want to know the enemy you’ll never defeat…the enemy you can't defeat because they’re as pervasive and necessary as air

[divinekangaroo]

Feel like there’s not very much attention paid to the S2 trauma of Tommy being coerced into use as an assassin.

(and, from a few of my notes during the S2 rewatch, the men he killed were sufficient to trigger great hostilities w Ireland; effectively he killed those men and (re-)started a war?) ‘The Chosen One’ / ‘I am Chosen’ / ‘May the Chosen One smoke?’

And then Churchill letting Tommy think he was being executed ‘Chosen One’ and crawling out of the grave owing his life to Churchill ‘I am Chosen’; the way Tommy asked for his last cigarette before that execution ‘May the Chosen One smoke’; his rage and disgust in both scenes, the coat on the meat hook and reminiscence of hanging…

The way he has to ‘give up on grace’ just prior to committing the first assassination, the way he has sex w Lizzie like eating a last meal he can’t even taste; the way he gives up on actual Grace as well as grace, just before he resigns himself to his own execution…

I mean, I’m nonsensical about it, can’t quite explain; at S1 it is a fairly hopeful ending; his personal ‘schemes’ for S2 reach high but aren’t wildly out of reach. To that point, when he’s killed it’s primarily been in the heat of battle.

But then he’s pulled off the street and forced to cold premeditated murder.

That first assassination he committed I feel did him some serious, serious damage, and that was the point that he did release any idea of ‘grace’ for himself, with everything that followed just further embedding that belief.

[elenatria]

That moment in the 1x02 Chernobyl episode when Bryukhanov attacks Legasov because he can't tell how the reactor can explode, then mocks him, and Legasov is troubled, so Boris steps up and asks Bryukhanov about the graphite on the roof, and he's like "How dare you? Only I can yell at Valery. Am I clear?" And my heart bursted.

HHAHAHAHHA omg it never occurred to me to see it that way?? Brilliant. A want a ficlet on that scene.

You know what, it’s about time people got to know why this pairing is so hot and tragic and inspiring and and… And I mean I’m not crazy for shipping them, am I?? I mean ok ok “real people with tragic destinies” etc etc but but b-but the writer and the actors are doing SUCH a great job giving us the enemies-to-friends (or lovers) trope so effortlessly in a matter of, like, two episodes (btw I didn’t need two episodes, just the first time they met was enough for me to ship them hahah am I nuts or am I nuts). 

Alright, SPOILERS.

So at the end of the first episode Boris Shcherbina, the head of the Bureau for Fuel and Energy (aka aggressive, unapologetic apparatchik and bureaucrat), is calling Valery Legasov,  the first deputy director of the Kurchatov Institute of Atomic Energy (aka awkward nerdy idealist scientist), to bark some orders at him and essentially tell him “We don’t want your opinion, nerd, you’re here to answer questions, nothing more, kbye.” So at their very first contact Boris is rude, entitled and arrogant to Valery, even hanging up on him.

In the second episode Valery reads Boris’ report and freaks out. When he joins General Secretary Gorbachev’s committee, Boris tries to downplay  the disaster, his arms sprawled out all over the armchair as if nothing happened. and looks at Valery in utter disbelief when the scientist tries to convince everyone how serious things are. Obviously Boris would rather be home with his wife or something. Btw in the show Valery doesn’t have a wife, he only has a cat, cat=loneliness, geddit?

When Gorbachev orders them both to visit the power plant Boris cannot believe his ears. He’s stuck with this annoying nerd, a scientist for crying out loud, a know-it-all, the kind he obviously hates because, as an apparatchik, he probably climbed the social ladder through his connections in the party and not through studying. So he obviously loathes anyone who knows more than him. He’s an alpha and wants to remain one.

Look at his face and body language when they’re left alone, he’s totally blaming the Nerd for becoming a burden. His burden.

Here it is, the “unlikely partners” trope. 

And now things start to get interesting.

As they walk towards the helicopter Boris is totally ignoring Valery. They’re not exchanging a single glance.

In the helicopter Boris asks Valery how a nuclear reactor works. Valery finds it difficult to explain and Boris quickly shows how inferior he feels to anyone who has studied more than him, so he puts on his aggressive and arrogant facade.

He acts SO entitled that he even threatens Valery that he’ll have him killed if he doesn’t explain how the reactor works.

At this point Boris inspires nothing but fear and disgust.

HOWEVER when Valery fidgets his pockets trying to find something to write on Boris is quick to give him both a pen and a piece of paper. Even if he has his poker face on, his gesture is clear. He’s helping Valery for the first time and not just because he wants to learn about reactors.

When Boris quickly catches the metaphor of the neutron being like a “bullet” Valery seems startled. Apparently Boris is a good student, who would have thought!

But as soon as the explaining is over Boris shuts Valery out once more saying he doesn’t need him anymore. Entitled and arrogant af.

Now it’s Valery’s turn to seethe internally because he’s stuck with this total asshole. 

Aaaaand then we get to the part when I totally flinched in surprise and I was like… “Okayyyyy do they want us to ship them now or what?…”

Because Valery, in a state of panic, finds the courage (or might I say, has the nerve) to call Boris by his first name (back then Soviet people would call each other by both names as a sign of respect). Valery probably mimicked Gorbachev using “Boris” in the previous scene but Boris simply. Won’t. Have it. 

He instantly snaps at the unexpected intimacy and I’m over here fangirling like crazy because who else would snap at terms of endearment and intimacy but a man who’s not used to it - and is probably craving for it. But not from this carrot-headed Nerd. Definitely not from him, he loathes the guy, okay??

Boris exercises his power once more threatening to have the pilot shot if he doesn’t fly over the reactor and for the first time Valery manages to “outrank” him by explaining to the pilot why he’d rather be shot than fly over the reactor. Valery convinces the pilot to disobey Boris - power play at its best. Boris is clearly defeated, maybe he’s never been defeated before.

And this is the first time Boris touches Valery (hopefully not the last).

As the helicopter turns to avoid the reactor Valery trips and almost falls on Boris’ lap. Notice how Boris doesn’t push him away but he rather steadies him and helps him sit. For a man who loathes his partner and is not used to intimacy he’s rather… well-behaved.

Of course the look on his face when the scene ends says it all: “You’ll pay for this, nerd.”

We’re 25 minutes into the episode and we finally see a glint of doubt in Boris’ eyes when Chief Engineer Fomin and the plant’s director Bryukhanov mouth off to Valery, disrespecting him and questioning his expertise and patriotism. For some reason something clicks inside Boris. Maybe he too had dealt with too many people doubting him and treating him like shit in the past. Maybe he feels Valery, for all his obnoxiousness, doesn’t deserve that kind of behaviour. Maybe the proud Head of the Bureau for Fuel and Energy will lose face if his partner is disgraced. Another nanosecond of doubt and he decides to step up. He uses Valery’s observations to talk about the core exploding.

At first I thought “Oh goooood I can’t believe this asshole is ripping off Valery’s observations to act all clever in front of his inferiors. What an asshole.”

But it turns out that he’s siding with Valery and starts to trust his judgement and expertise. Maybe because, for all his lack of formal education, he’s too clever to not know suck ups, cowards and liars when he sees them.

Next he challenges the two men to prove Valery wrong. Perhaps he does want to prove Valery wrong and ridicule him. Or perhaps he’s rooting for him already.

When Valery pushes him to evacuate Pripyat, Boris snaps again. He’s not here to follow the Nerd’s orders.

But the very next minute Boris walks away with the promise to get Valery as much boron and sand as he needs to put out the fire, like a king eager to impress his betrothed. “I’m going to get YOU.”

As soon as Boris leaves, General Pikalov is quick to offer Valery some help.

Because they both know they have long days and long nights ahead of them.

I will come back to the subject of the hotel in my next post. There’s another fanfiction trope right there, two unlikely partners forced to stay in the same hotel (or hotel room if you want your imagination to run wild). YESSSS.

Cut to the hotel room. An exhausted Valery massages his own neck (oh baby I’m sure you would like someone else to massage it for you.)

Boris enters his room (*their* room..?) without knocking - apparently someone doesn’t feel the need to lock his door. 

Boris is happy to announce they’ve been successful at dropping sand and boron into the reactor but Valery doesn’t share his cheerfulness.

AND THIS IS WHEN BORIS STARTS CARING ABOUT VALERY’S OPINION AND FEELINGS. The “what?” cliche when someone is not reacting while his friend/lover is begging for a response. Because. Boris. Needs. Valery’s. Approval. That’s why.

Valery insists that the city should be evacuated and Boris reassures him that they’re staying there “so it must be safe.”

But the way he utters those words in a hoarse whisper, shaking his head confidently, is almost like he’s saying “I’m glad we are staying here. Together.”

When Valery gets carried away and slaps Boris in the face with the horrible truth, Boris loses the ground beneath him.

But he doesn’t look just shocked. He looks hurt. Hurt that Valery didn’t sweeten the pill for him. 

Valery instantly regrets his bluntness and takes a step towards Boris as if to comfort a helpless child. Or a very good friend. But he can’t really hug him, shush him and tell him everything is going to be okay, can he? So he takes a step back.

“I’m sorry”…? What?? You just met the guy and you hate him and he hates you! Get a grip!!!

Boris feels so horrible that it takes him ages to pick up the phone.

When they join Gorbachev’s committee again to brief him on the crisis Boris seems totally lost, a fact that doesn’t go unnoticed by Valery who stares at him, concerned.

When Boris finally comes to terms with his own mortality he steps up once more, taking control of the situation. Valery fails to convince the workers to go to the basement and open the valves and that moment…  I just knew it was Boris’ turn for a glorious inspirational speech. And boy, does he deliver. Best, most laconic, most convincing inspirational speech I’ve ever seen. He appeals to the workers’ patriotism and self-sacrifice and he succeeds. So he’s not educated and he’s not as clever as a scientist but his true talent shines here, that of leadership. Inspiring people to do the right thing, like a true general. They’re at war and Boris knows he’s the man for the job. 

And now it’s Valery’s turn to look at him in utter awe.

“That’s him. That’s my guy.”

And I haven’t even talked about episode 3 yet. 

Oh god, ep 3, I mean…

[arcaneglitch]

Overtaken

An innocent Crucible match reveals that Oryx might still have more influence over Harley than anyone thought.

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"You want to what?"

"I want to play some Crucible," Kai repeated, "You've been acting kind of weird and stressed out lately, so I thought we could decompress."

"I must have missed something," said Harley, "Since when has Crucible been a place to relieve stress?"

"Since always," said Liv, "Duh!"

Harley couldn't agree. While he had enjoyed Crucible the last time he played it, he also remembered it as very stressful. Points weren't something you had to think about when clearing out a Fallen base. And going up against other Guardians had been an entirely different experience. Still, he saw the merit in Crucible acting as training for Guardians. It was excellent for learning tactics and cohesive teamwork. And he'd done rather well the last time he'd entered it. Maybe there was something to the idea after all. At any rate, it would probably be better than dodging his friends until his next patrol assignment, which is what he seemed to spend most of his time doing.

"Alright, I'm in."

Liv cheered. "Hell yeah! We'll show those other Guardians a thing or two!"

"Are any of the others coming?" asked Harley.

"Besides us three, Rogue, Rae, and Kay all said they'd join," said Kai.

"Not Tristan?"

Kai shook her head. "He's studying in his room… I'll slot us in for the next match."

As the Titan typed on her interface, Liv turned to Harley. "So what weapons are you going to use?"

"Hmm, probably the Freelancer and my sniper."

"You any good with it?"

"You've seen me snipe, Liv."

"Yeah but not in the Crucible. It's different in there."

"Well, I used it last time and it worked pretty well."

She shrugged. "You do you… It'll probably be good to have some variety anyway. A lot of the others like to go short or medium range."

"Next match is Zone Control in Bannerfall," said Kai, "We should probably head out now."

Liv clapped Harley on the shoulder. "See ya there!"

Harley watched as his friends transmatted away and then had Prism do the same for him. Once they were on their way to the chosen area, he worried over his gear, checking his weapons.

"Nervous?" asked Prism.

"I guess I kind of am," he replied, "It's been a long time."

 "When was the last time you played?"

 "I think it was before Oyrx and all the Taken stuff. I meant to go in a couple times since then, but then there was the stuff with you-know-who."

 "And then you were avoiding everyone."

"I wasn't avoiding… Ok, maybe I was. But they keep asking about the you-know-who situation and I don't feel like talking about it."

 "Understandable. Crucible should be good for you, then. You can hang out with them but they'll be too concerned with the match to bring it up. And hopefully, you'll be too focused to worry about it."

 "Hopefully."

Guardian and Ghost fell silent, watching the scenery of the City go by as they approached their destination. Soon, Harley found himself being transmatted down into the arena below. Bannerfall marked the place where the Guardians of New Monarchy had defeated the Concordat, a faction that had attempted to wage war against the Vanguard. Later on, Shaxx had turned the site into a map for the Crucible.

Shaxx made the opening announcements and then the match began. A display popped up on Harley's HUD, showing the score, roster, and the waypoints for the three zones.

"Let's head for B," said Kai, "But split up."

"Ace, why don't you get sights on B," said Liv, "I'll watch your flank."

Harley nodded and ran off to find a good sniper lane. He knew that most Guardians figured out where all the good sniping areas were after playing a few matches on a map. There was a good chance that someone on the other team would be expecting them. But he could see nothing on his radar.

"Those dumbasses all went for B together!" exclaimed Rogue over the comms, "If only I could smash 'em now…"

The point counters on the scoreboard ticked up as Harley's friends engaged the enemy team.

"Son of a Dredgen!" cursed Kaedro, "I had a perfect line on B and one of them shot me out of it!"

Harley tuned the chatter out, sighting down his scope. But as he focused on the zone, he caught the flash of an opposing sniper scope that wasn't aimed at him.

"Liv, get down!"

The crack resonated across the map. Harley spun to find Liv sprawled on the ground and watched as her body was transmatted to the designated respawn area. Then his radar flashed red and he looked up to see a Hunter lunging at him. He dodged out of the way, drawing his knife, and plunged it into the Hunter's chest.

All of a sudden, something inside him twisted and he fought the urge to be sick. He found himself kneeling next to the Hunter's body, hands outstretched as the transmat kicked in. He shivered. Cold sweat beaded on the back of his neck. He heard Prism's voice calling to him, but it sounded so distant. The sonorous voice of Oryx filled his head.

"Your Traveler cannot reach you here, Child of the Sky… Your will is mine."

A pair of legs entered his field of vision, only to disappear in a violent flash. A different pair took their place, striding up to him with quick, sharp steps. Hands clamped down on his shoulders, yanking him roughly to his feet. The sharp movement only worsened his nausea and he groaned. The person holding him up was yelling something. Suddenly, they reached up and yanked off his helmet.

"Wake UP Hayden!" Kai was shouting, "This is the Crucible, not a summer camp!"

 "Kill them all. Make them pay."

Harley's hands were trembling as he clamped them over his ears, trying to block Oryx out.

"I can't…"

"Can't what?"

"I can't… I don't want…"

"Don't want what?!"

"I don't want to kill them! Don't make me kill them!"

Kai pulled his hands away and said something else, but all he could hear was Oryx commanding him to kill her. He broke free, pressing his hands over his ears once more. Kai snapped her fingers in front of his face, waving irritatedly. He screwed his eyes shut and found the voice quieted. He could hear Kai better now.

"-on Prism?"

His Ghost's reply was worried. "I think it may be a panic attack."

Why wasn't she phased? He had to find her, but he feared that if he saw her, Oryx would tell him to destroy her.

"I have no idea why he's reacting this badly. He was better for a while..."

"Ace?"

A hand settled on his arm. He flinched, but the touch was light, barely putting pressure on him. Kai's voice was much less irritated. Instead, she sounded concerned.

"Look at me."

Harley shook his head, eyes still closed. He heard the faint sound of approaching footsteps. But then Kai said something that made them stop. Everything was still muffled. Hesitantly, he brought his hands away from his ears. The voice was silent.

"Look at me," Kai repeated.

He shook his head again. "Can't."

"Why?"

"If I see you, he'll tell me to kill you."

"Who?"

"Oryx."

He heard her inhale. When she spoke again, her voice was measured.

"Ace, Oryx can't control you. You're not Taken anymore. That was two years ago."

Harley cracked his eyelids open by a sliver. Sunlight poured in, making his eyes water a bit. Kai stood in front of him with Prism floating next to her. Both were watching him with concern. When Oryx's voice didn't emerge to give him commands, he opened his eyes the rest of the way.

"Harley?" asked his Ghost.

"Yeah?"

"Are you still hearing him?"

He shook his head. "Not anymore."

"You haven't had an attack this bad for a while," she said worriedly, "Do you know what might have triggered it?"

He took a slightly shaky breath. "When I...killed that Guardian, it… It was like when I was Taken and Oryx was telling me to kill you guys. Like when I almost killed Kay."

"I didn't know you remembered that." The Titan's voice was carefully calm.

"It's fuzzy… Everything's fuzzy except when it's not. Does that make any sense?" She shook her head. "I don't remember much. But...I remember turning on Kay. But only sometimes. When I'm...reminded."

"I think I'm starting to get it," said Kai, "Are you ok now?"

He nodded. "Better."

"Do you want to finish the match?"

He shook his head feverently. "I don't think I could make myself kill another Guardian… I know they're on the other team, but killing that Hunter made me feel...wrong."

"Ok. I'll get Shaxx to pull you out. He'll understand… Look, Ace. I think you should tell the others about this stuff. You've been...affected by this since you were in the med bay. It's the kind of thing your team should know."

"No! I don't want them to worry about me. I can manage this. They have other things to worry about. Promise me you won't tell them!"

"Alright, alright. Calm down. I'm not gonna say anything without your say-so. But you should think about it. This isn't the kind of thing you should suffer through alone."

"...I'll think about it," he said unwillingly.

Kai nodded. "Good. We'll meet you back in the Tower, yeah?"

He nodded. With one last glance at him, the Titan returned to the match. Harley retrieved his helmet, then allowed Prism to transmat him back to the Star.

"I shouldn't be a Guardian," he said as they flew back, "What kind of Guardian can't even play one Crucible match?"

"Plenty of Guardians don't play Crucible," said Prism comfortingly, "That doesn't make them better or worse than the ones who do. It's not a weakness to not want to kill other Guardians."

"It is a weakness to fall apart on the battlefield. What if next time something like that happens, it's someplace like the Vault of Glass? What if someone dies because I'm incapacitated? ...I never should've been given the Light in the first place."

"You are more than deserving of the Light, Harley. Don't torture yourself by wondering about things like that. If something like this ever happens again, we'll get through it like we always have: together."

Harley gave a small smile. "Thanks, Prism."

"Anyone who thinks my Guardian doesn't deserve the Light will get a piece of my mind. And that includes you."