#You know it's funny because I'm pouring all my headcanons and readings of the current arc in fic format

[thyandrawrites]

Do you ever look around yourself in a fandom and realize your headcanons aren't shared by almost anyone anymore because most of your original group of peers left the fandom and now there's new folks with completely foreign tropes and interpretations... or is that just me? Gosh, way to make me feel like a fandom oldie...

[notice-me-senpai-hell]

I literally had this blog since I was a little kid and now I'm a grown adult. Honestly it hurts to look back at my writings because it shows that I was a chronically online kid with no sense of anything (social cues, social no-no's, and just copying cliches from anime at the time).

BUT cringe culture is dead and I can't blame the little 11 year old that was just having fun and didn't know better at times. Now as I'm much older, I'm falling back in my hobbies and joys I had when I was young but couldn't embrace before of school, peer pressure, and my own sense of shame. But I'm just human and I have grown so much and yet- I still enjoy the same things like before. Granted, I may cringe at the stuff I posted whether wishing I did better or didn't do at all. Like my tag name is still cool in my eyes even if I struggle to say it out loud to a stranger/friend irl without getting red.

I'm losing my point, but I just get shy talking about my interests since I never had the space before. But I'm in a better space than I was a decade ago. I want to respect past me and current me to give myself the space to have fun and bit a little cringe (affectionate).

I don't want to delete anything or private it (even when I think too hard and want to) since I had some people reach out about my writing on other platforms and you never know if you wrote something that someone enjoyed or likes to go back and laugh at (whether in a bad way or in a funny way). I was also part of other blogs that did stuff for many fandoms that I loved (for example, Gravity Falls, etc , and Notice Me Senpai - a game that I loved to this day and I'm so proud of the stuff I did there. I'm not ashamed of the fun I had even if my irl friends at the time were weird about it. If you played that game and read my Match-Ups on that group blog I was part of or anything I had here .. KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU!!! I adore everyone on that blog and in the fandom of that game!!!! that was so cool and I can't believe kid me had so much time to write. I'm so happy that was a big part of my experience here on tumblr before the game got shut down. Yes, I was a little weird kid, but at least that weird kid had a funnel to pour all their ideas that got rejected in science and theater class).

This is just a public statement on my blog that when you scroll past this you will see and witness a gradient of my childhood of a chronically online and acoustic kid that didn't know know what would be fun then would be the thorn in my side aka my internet footprint. It will start with the sparse posts before diving into piles and piles of stuff. Don't look at it if you are new. Just don't. But you could.

But fuck it, let's embrace it since when I'm even older then this - I may cringe at myself now. Hell, I'm an adult on the internet talking about Japanese and Chinese visual novel/RPGs games. But I want to give myself the space to have fun with my hobbies since I'm so drained from being an adult - I just want to be a person that can have fun and not think to hard about irl. I want to pour out all my AU's and headcanons that rattle in my head since that's the point of creativity if you don't spill it out.

This has just been in my mind in a hot minute and I wanted to put it out there not really for anyone to read but more like a public statement for myself to remind me that it's okay to have fun. If you have been following me for some years and now just seeing this- heyYyyyyyy. Thanks for everything and y'all feel free to DM here. I would love to see how my audience changed with the years and talked to people from the NMS fandom (since my blog was more directed to them)

Heads up, I'm going to start posting stuff again like writings and headcanons and I'm excited to feel this weight off my shoulders.

TLDR: I was a chronically online 11 year old with no sense of anything (social cues, social no-no's, and just copying cliches from anime at the time) but that's fine- everyone is cringe when there are in middle school. I won't delete or private anything because I don't want to take away anything that someone enjoyed. I'm grown and I'm giving past me and current me the space to have fun.

I love the NMS fandom and proud of that stuff (even if I don't read it). Reach out to me and know that this blog will get a makeover and be alive one again.

[violyane]

Hey! I hope this blog didn't die but are you still gonna update Master Plan? It's only one chapter but it got me really fixiated about the story

Hello anon I'm still here! I'm currently enjoying my holiday break while doing absolutely nothing.

As for Master Plan, I really want to write and continue this story. Really. Like I've been thinking about the story and plot for about six???? years now I believe (damn I've been in this fandom for quite a while), but honestly, I think a few factors overwhelm me in writing it.

I started writing it way too early. Which is funny considering I have had it in my mind since 2016. But tbh I only planned the major events of the story. And they include such different aspects of the characters' personalities and development that they look flat without some in-between events. Even looking at the first chapter makes me realize how flat Kaga and Megami are. They are behaving more like their future selves than who they should be now. This is not the first impression of them I wanted to leave at all. I think I really should just open my fanfic planner, take a deep breath and write the whole story, with all the events that I wanna include, before actually writing the thing.

The place of events and timeline confuses me. Since Akademi was changed from a high school to an academy I really have no idea how the organization of the institution even works. Do all students attend for one year, or do they have to be there longer? Are they finishing with a certificate? Do students just choose what class they want to be in or does the school management test them? What does recruitment look like? And more similar questions like that. As for the timeline, some things just don't make sense. For example, when does the student council election take place? If Megami and the student council girls took the position on the first day of school, was the election taking place while Megami was still in class 1? If yes, then how did Shiromi become part of it, considering she just started attending school in April? (That's actually why I put her in Aoi's class since the fanfic takes place before the canon events and she has to somehow be here).

I need to research more into the canon. I really don't want to make my fanfic a big AU with my own silly headcanons in it. But is it even possible to access all canon information? I was looking through YanDev's Reddit posts in the past, but unfortunately, it's not easy to see all of it. Dev also shares some information privately with friends and on Discord (where I don't really hang out much). Sure I can just use info from the game, but is there really that much of it to write a nice story? Especially since I'm writing about the last rival, the most mysterious one, while we only got the first one in-game. I can make it more into an AU, but will it still be Yandere Simulator? I mean, I could always rewrite it after we get the full game, but I don't know... what if half my story loses a logical narrative because of it...

I'm not confident with my writing. English is not my first language. When it comes to reading literature, I only base my knowledge on other fanworks I've read over the years. My writing is not the most ambitious, I know that. But the problem with writing a long-chapter fanfiction is that you have to interfere with your written work. When I write my one shots I mostly just write them, publish them, and never return to them again, so I don't overthink every word and sentence that I came up with. I'm actually scared to open the first chapter of Master Plan because I'm afraid that when I'll re-read it, I'll just start cringing at my writing and delete it altogether.

There are probably more concerns that I have, but these are the main ones that are stopping me from writing Master Plan. Sometimes I really just wish I could stop overthink it and just pour my heart into it.

But I'll say this. I promise to work it all out. Because I don't want to disappoint the teenage me, who spent numerous nights daydreaming about this story. I will do anything to write it.