#Yeah I do think about Rami Malek’s eyes a lot can you blame me. Can you possibly blame me. In any universe could you even remotely blame me
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caterpillarinacave · 1 month ago
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Honestly my dreams are the best
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r-ahh-mi · 5 years ago
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A Cure I Know // Part 5
Part 1  II Part 2  II  Part 3  II Part 4 II
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Pairing: Elliot Alderson x fem!OC (Emerson)
Summary: A sex addict & a nut case - what a perfect pairing, don’t you think?
Warnings: Brief brief brief hint of sex talk, but overall pretty much no warnings.
Word Count: 1.5k
A/N: If you’d like to be added to my tag list for this series or any of my other writing pieces, let me know and I will happily add you! Enjoy this cute little number xx
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The evening after work was stiff and cold. Everything and everyone seemed to be frozen in their spots as they attempted, with crossed arms, to hold in any form of heat that was manageable during the cold month of January that hit New York like a gust of wind; both literal and figurative. Usually after work I would have gone straight home on severely chilled nights like this, but it was a Thursday. Thursday was therapy day. I was never fond of therapy, though I suppose it did give me someone with an unbiased opinion to talk to, but I just didn’t feel like I got anything out of it which I wasn’t going to blame on my therapist. She was nothing smaller than an angel who was trying to chisel away at the layered cement wall I’d built up around myself. 
You know me enough to realize that I'm not the most open person with others. It wasn’t that I didn’t find it appealing--i’m sure it would be beneficial for me to vent to my therapist or anyone willing to listen and get out my emotions instead of seeking out some sort of feeling through my body being sweaty and entangled with a near stranger, but everything felt so routine now. I wasn’t fond of therapy, but I also didn’t want to give it up because it was something I've been doing for years and it was something that i got to jot down on my calendar every other week. I didn’t want to stop seeking out intimacy with strangers because it was what I had been doing for years. Though I didn’t jot it down on a calendar, well, usually i didn’t, but i craved routine I guess you could say. I craved something that let me go through the motions, yet still gave me something to do besides sitting in my home with my thoughts to unravel on themselves.
Though, come to think of it, I hadn’t sought out anyone for sexual purposes at all this week. Seemingly normal to most, but not to me. I’m sure it was just my mind being preoccupied and busy...or maybe I'm finally cured of this ultimate craving for some sort of affection that is absent from my day to day life. The thing that struck me the most was how okay I was with that. I didn’t feel empty, I didn’t feel as though my routine had been thrown off its course or that my life didn’t have some sort of goal or purpose to fulfill. I was okay with it and had never even paid attention to the matter up until this very moment.
I didn’t let my mind get too carried away into this satisfactory feeling--after all, I had places to go. 
Thankfully the cozy loft building, that my therapist was located in, was nothing more than a ten minute walk at the very very worst. The cold temperatures were perfect motivation for my legs to get some lightning speed into them as they strolled quickly down the sidewalks that were just beginning to be littered with a light layer of snow. I let out an appropriately volumed sigh as I hung up my scarf and damp hat on the coat rack set just near the door. I was expecting to see Rose, the always smilie receptionist, which I did see, but stood next to her, just on the opposite side of the desk was someone I couldn't even have fathomed I would come in contact in this space.
Neither of us said anything as we stood there, both of us fully knowing, but not quite understanding why we were seeing each other's familiar faces in a space that was usually our own and completely separate from each other’s lives. It nearly felt like one of us had found out an intimate detail about the other, quite by accident.
“Elliot?” My words came out as if I was asking a question--Was this Elliot I was seeing? Was this a familiar face? Of course I knew it was, but my mind was still attempting to fit all the pieces of the puzzle together.
A large puff of air gulped its way down his throat as his prominent Adam's apple nearly popped right out from under the tanned skin of his neck.
“Hi”, was all he managed to say as he stood there, visibly uncomfortable and looking as if I had found out something I wasn’t meant to know about.
“So uh...you see Krista--I-I mean Dr. Gordon?”
At the mention of her name Elliot lifted his eyes to mine, but quickly moved them back to some space he found safe enough to hold zoned out eye contact with.
“Yeah.”
“Oh, uh..cool!”, I spoke with a little too much excitement in my voice for the occasion, but I suppose you could call that a little nervous habit of mine.
It didn’t take Elliot but a millisecond for him to lift the dark fabric onto his head, creating several shadows along his cheeks, nose and chin as he began taking big steps towards the door I had just entered in from.
My body was still standing in the entrance so I knew Elliot would need to either ask me to move, and do so kindly, or I could think ahead and move out of the way for him. I’m sure you could guess which option I went with.
“Can you move.”
“Sure”, I quirked with a rotten grin on my face. Elliot didn’t seem too keen on buying into my teasing manor as he rolled his eyes, but still stood in his place.
“Please.”
“Please what, Elliot?”, I placed special attention to this name as it rolled off of my tongue.
Elliot shook his head, letting a tiny, you’d miss it if you blinked, grin appear before his sadly too familiar frown lines set back into his face.
“Emerson, I'm ready for you.”
I turned my head over my shoulder to see the ever pleasant face of Krista, formally known as Dr. Gordon, but she had always assured me she wanted to be on a first name basis with one another to secure some sort of comfort. I adored her.
I smiled at her as she watched curiously while me and Elliot exchanged body language that was much too uncomfortable for two people to know each other well, but also too familiar for them to be total strangers.
Without a word I moved my body out of the way, keeping my much too happy grin on my face as Elliot shook his head, but his lips were much more relaxed this time. Not a frown, not a grin--somewhere in between. I watched as he pressed his palm on the steel door handle and let his body waltz out into the cold New York night. I too made an effort to move my body in the direction I was meant to be heading in, that is until I heard a very faint, but clear “bye Emerson”. 
I turned around quickly, stopping dead in my course to Krista’s office, but all I could make out was Elliot's slim shadow against the lighted sidewalk just outside the once cracked door that was now fully shut. Surely my mind could’ve made it up and that was my very first logical explanation, but there was a tiny voice that also wanted Elliot to have said my name.
Whether it was meant to be heard or just for him, I didn’t care. Though it was a simple and generic mannerism that was taught to toddlers when teaching them “please” “thank you” “hello”, and other friendly exchanges, but a simple goodbye from Elliot seemed like a lot coming from him and it elicited a reaction in me that even Krista took note of.
“Do you two know each other?”
I turned back around to the curious faced woman and  clasped my hands together in my front as I debated on how to reply—because both a yes and no would be truthful answers.
“Sort of”, I shrugged as I walked past Krista and took my normal spot on the couch, but I couldn’t help but feel the warmth beneath me.
My thoughts began to wonder as to why he was sitting on this very same couch, or rather why he needed to seek out a therapist in the first place. I knew not everyone needed a full blown reason to seek therapy. For some it was used as having a person to talk to that was guaranteed to listen and be non biased; everyone needs that. On the other hand, what if he was seeing Krista because he had a problem. Whether that be a past or present problem, I wasn’t too concerned with, I mainly was just curious as to know why.
Maybe Elliot and I weren’t so far apart from one another. We both seemed to share lifestyles that were far from identical, but also the same in the fact that we both wore masks during our day to day lives. Elliot just thought he was good at hiding his and maybe to the rest of the world the mask fit perfectly and succeeded at its job. But I too wore a mask, just a different threading weaved its way into mine.
The saying ‘creative minds think alike’ can also be the same for just about anyone who shared a common personality trait. Crazy minds can also think a like and I could tell that me and Elliot, we were both fucking insane.
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Tag: @rawmemalek​ @sassystrawberryk​ @itsme690​ @imnottiredofgettingoveryou​ @lovelymalekk​ @mezzomercury​ @sherlollydramoine​ @rami-malek-trash​ @amcquivey​ @txmel​ @crystalmethchristmas​ @ramimedley​ 
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illfoandillfie · 5 years ago
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The Dinner Party
Pairing: Ben Hardy x Reader + Rami Malek, Lucy Boynton, Joe Mazzello, Gwilym Lee 
Summery: Ben finds out about one of your fantasies and offers to help make it a reality.
Warnings: SMUT 18+ !!! it’s a big ol’ gang bang folks! unprotected sex, dom/sub dynamics, sensory deprivation (blindfolds), gags, restraints, choking, slapping, biting, spanking, oral (f and m receiving), a*al, orgasm denial, overstimulation/forced orgasm, nipple play, fingering, degradation, sexual objectification, handjobs, i think thats everything oh god i dont know theres a lot
Words: 11,538 (jesus)
A/N: I am so sorry I made you wait so long for this one - the last couple of months have been fucking whack as heck. Anyway, I hope she was worth waiting for! I’m gonna go have 12 cold showers in a row and scream for a while.
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(its so fucking hard to find photos of all of them together jesus christ)
Taglist:  @idontbelievethiss @somekindof-cheese @dtfrogertaylor   @ezmina98  @vee-ndetta @atomic-watermelon @kellypenac @labessieisallama @deakyclicks 
“So, uhh, that fantasy you sent me the other night,” Ben ran his fingers lightly up and down your arm, “You really got off to that?”   You could feel the sweat caught between your back and his chest, skin sticking together where you leaned against him. His hand was heavy on your stomach, moving with you as you wiggled around, trying to decrease the sticky discomfort.   “Well, yeah, otherwise I wouldn’t have sent it. Was it too much?”   It was something you did when you were away from each other. When you’d been apart for too long and you were yearning for each other's touch. You’d message each other with what you’d thought about while masturbating. Like a lot of the little traditions and patterns you and Ben developed, it had started as a joke. But now it felt weird to not do it. Sometimes it was links to porn videos or erotic stories found online. Sometimes it was reminiscences about previous nights together. And sometimes it was just one word. You.    “No, it was pretty hot actually.”   This time the distance had been caused by Ben’s filming schedule taking him overseas for three whole months. It was the longest you’d been separated in a while, and your game had turned into a bit of a competition. Trying to one up each other with wilder fantasies. You’d sent the last one, drawing on something you’d thought about a lot but never really divulged to anyone before in order to claim victory. The moment you’d hit send you’d worried it was too much. Ben knew you had a thing for exhibitionism and for being treated like an object, happy to help you indulge in them from time to time, but you’d never really exposed how deep they went. His response amounted to an oh my god and a couple of flushed face emojis. No come back, no one upping. Just three words and two little symbols. You hoped it was because he had nothing hotter to counter with and not because you’d freaked him out too much.  
Three days later he was back home, hurriedly removing your shirt within minutes of walking through the door. The sex was neither sweet nor soft, though the way Ben sat up and pulled you against him afterwards, kissing your temple in the process, was both.    “Glad you think so. It’s one I’ve thought about a lot.”   “And you’ve never mentioned it before why?”   “I don’t know, not every guy would be cool hearing about how his girlfriend dreams of being used by a bunch of strangers.”   “Okay, yeah, spose that’s fair.” He was quiet for a moment, absentmindedly stroking your skin with feather light touches, “But if you got the chance, you’d really want to do something like that?”   “I think so, yeah. Maybe not actually with strangers. Don’t think I’d feel comfortable enough to get into it if I didn’t know and trust everyone there. But in theory, yes.”   “What if... what if I could arrange for something like it to happen?”   “What?” You sat up straight and turned to face him, convinced you’d misheard him.   “If I found some people you were comfortable with who... wanted to help make this a reality would you want to do it?”   “You’re taking the piss, right?”    “I swear I’m being serious. If you wanted to actually do something like that, I’d be into it. I’d help set it up.”   “Are you feeling okay?” you pressed the back of your hand to Ben’s forehead like you were checking his temperature but he just laughed, grabbing you by the wrist so he could bring your hand to his lips.    “I feel fine, babe.” His smile hit you like a ton of bricks. Fuck you’d missed that smile.   “Can’t blame a girl for checking,”   “Look, what you described was incredibly hot and the idea of watching you be used like that...” he trailed off but you didn’t need him to say anything else, his rapidly hardening cock was proof enough. You repositioned yourself on your hands and knees, taking his cock in one hand, “You wanna watch me, blindfolded and restrained, being fucked until im crying? Wanna see me helpless and desperate and used by a whole group of people?” Your strokes along his shaft were interrupted as Ben wrapped his hand around your throat.   “I really do,” he growled as he pushed you back onto your knees, “but I think I need to fuck you again, make sure you remember who really owns your cunt.”  
Ben didn’t mention it again that week, though he barely let you out of his reach. He always got extra clingy and cuddly after you’d been reunited, surprising you with soft deep kisses and tight hugs at random. Always finding some reason to touch you, a hand on your back while you were standing at the stove, brushing fingers as you slipped past each other in the corridor, clutching your waist as he pulled you onto his lap while you played video games together. You figured he’d forgotten about your conversation now that the immediate heat and need for each other had been replaced with a softer desire to just be close. Not that you minded. You were happy to let that fantasy remain a fantasy, and if you were honest you hadn’t fully believed Ben when he suggested making it happen for real. Until he brought it up about a week and a half after his return.  
You were watching TV, resting your head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around you, when he spoke.   “So I got a call from Lucy today, turns out in a couple weeks time the whole band will be in London. We’re planning on meeting up for a few drinks, something like that.”   “Oh that’s so great Ben,” you said, pulling your eyes from the ad for bathroom cleaner you’d been mindlessly staring at and looking up at him, “Be nice to see everyone again, all at once.”   “Yeah. Actually, I thought I might suggest they all come over here for dinner one night.”   “That’s a wonderful idea.”   “And, uh, if you were still interested, we could maybe give them all a chance to fuck you.”   You choked, an exclamation of surprise catching in your throat.   “Sorry, couldn’t resist,” Ben said, almost laughing as he hurried to get you a glass of water. You glared at him through watery eyes as your coughing fit subsided, gulping down the water as soon as he’d handed it over.   “What the fuck?” you rasped out once you were back in control of your voice.   “I didn’t think you were going to choke. Just thought it’d surprise you. You alright?”   “Yeah, fine. But what the fuck?” You grabbed the remote to mute the TV, a signal that you wanted Ben to take this conversation seriously.    “It was just a suggestion,” he said with a half shrug, “You said you’d be interested in doing it.”   “I am, I just.... They’re your friends Ben, wouldn’t it be kinda weird?”   He shrugged again, “Maybe at first. But you said you’d be more comfortable if you knew the people involved. Well, you know them. And I trust them. It’s worth thinking about at least.”   You paused, chewing your lip as you took in what he was saying properly, the original shock having passed. It did kind of make sense.   “Would… would they be into it?” you said slowly.   “I mean, I’d have to talk to them. But, yeah, I think so.” he shrugged slightly.   “And you’d be okay with it?”   “Yes,” he answered matter-of-factly.   “Really? Ben it’s one thing to think about it while you get off or talk about in the abstract. It’s a whole other thing to actually watch your girlfriend having sex with other people, especially your friends.” you shifted in your seat, moving to kneel beside him and reaching out to stroke his cheek, “I don’t want you to do something you’re not fully comfortable with just to try and make me happy. It was my fantasy to begin with and I am totally okay with leaving it like that. Really think about this before you say anything else.”   He reached up, taking your hand in his and tracing lines over the back of your fingers, “But I have thought about it. A lot. Kind of non-stop actually. And I want to do it, if you do.”   “Really?”   “Yes. Look, it’s not like there’s gonna be feelings involved. This isn’t making love on a bed of roses type stuff. I’m not gonna be watching you have a romantic night with anyone. I’m gonna watch you being treated like a living sex toy by multiple people. Probably join in a bit too. And you’re not the only one who can set boundaries. If there’s anything I don’t feel comfortable seeing happen I’ll let everyone know.”   You opened your mouth to speak but Ben cut you off.   “If you ask me ‘really?’ one more time,” he laughed, pulling you off your knees and onto his lap, “Y/N, I promise you I am more than okay with this. It might have been your fantasy but it was my suggestion to actually do it. If it was strangers involved it’d be different. But the guys? None of them are going to hurt you, they’ll all respect whatever rules we put in place, and they’ll make sure it’s fun.”   Your eyes roamed over Ben’s face, looking for any sign of discomfort or unease but all you saw was a plea for trust.   “Okay. Talk to them, see how they all feel about it. But if anyone isn’t into it, the dinner stays as just a dinner. Deal?”   “Deal.” He rested his forehead against yours, “I love you.”   You hummed, kissing him softly.    “Love you too, Benny.”  
Over the next week Ben talked to everyone individually, gauging their interest in the dinner party and any extra activities that may involve. Some were a little more hesitant than others but by the end of the week everyone was a hard yes. It made your stomach tighten every time you thought about it, anticipation and excitement and nerves building as you counted down the days. You and Ben worked out the rules, where lines would be drawn and where boundaries would lie to ensure the night was safe and fun for everyone involved. You collected supplies, discussed and re-discussed how everything would work as well as planning the actual dinner party aspect – food and drink and music. As the night got closer you found yourself more and more aroused, constantly wet, unable to think about anything else for too long. Ben for his part seemed just as affected by it as you were and you found yourselves naked together much more frequently than you’d expected to. Not once was it rough though. It was like the two of you were saving all your energy for the dinner party, spending the hours in bed having lazy, gentle sex, soft kisses and gasped names and whispered ‘I love you’s. By the time the actual night rolled around you were burning for something harder and faster, looking forward to being used and bruised.   
Half an hour before everyone turned up you started to get ready. You’d been wearing your plug all day, at Ben’s suggestion, but it still made you shiver when you caught a glimpse of it as you were getting dressed, the sparkly jewel catching the light as you checked your reflection. The lingerie you’d picked out left very little to the imagination, a crotchless thong and matching sheer bra, the garter belt and stockings the most modest part of the outfit. You fixed your makeup, adding extra mascara and reapplying your lipstick knowing it would just end up smudged.   
“They’ll be here in ten babe, you ready?” Ben asked as he knocked on the bedroom door. You took a deep breath, looking over yourself one last time before you left the room. The soft ‘wow’ Ben gave you made you giggle as he led you through your unit to the mixed living/dining room. You’d rearranged the furniture earlier, shifting the coffee table over to the wall which left space for you to kneel in front of anyone on the couch. The dinner table was already laid out for everyone, except you of course, a tray of champagne glasses waiting to be offered around. You headed towards the coffee table, running your hand along it as you checked all the toys were there. Some of them were things you’d used before, some were newly bought specifically for tonight. Each had been carefully considered between you and Ben, only those you were both completely comfortable with being put out.   
“Okay, let’s do this,” you said as you headed to your position in the middle of the room.    Ben grabbed the spreader bar off the coffee table, attaching the cuffs to your ankles, forcing you to stand with legs wide open. The butterflies in your stomach went wild, everything suddenly feeling more real.   “You all good?” Ben asked as he stood back up.   “I’m wonderful. You?”   “Brilliant.” He flashed you a reassuring smile and pecked you on the lips before turning to pick up the ball gag and press it into your mouth. Your lips stretched around it as he adjusted the fastening at the back of your head. You nodded to show you were comfortable and he turned once more, reaching for the black bandana that was going to be your blindfold for the night. You wanted to touch yourself, relieve some of the pressure that had been building all day but Ben grabbed your hands, pulling them in front of you, palms up. You heard him walk away and then come back with the tray of drinks, placing it carefully on your upturned hands.    “Okay, all set. I’m gonna go check the dinner but everyone should start arriving soon. See you afterwards.”    You hummed your agreement as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear and pressed a kiss to your forehead. His touch left you but he was still close by. You felt him lean into your ear, sending a shiver down your spine as he growled a final warning in the voice he reserved for dominating you.   “Don’t drop the drinks, slut.”  
You were left in almost silence. Your unit wasn’t huge but the kitchen was far enough away that the noise was muffled. Or maybe you were just so aware of how much being left alone in such a vulnerable position turned you on, that outside noise just wasn’t getting through as easily. It was just you and your pounding heart and your steadily growing arousal. Nothing to do but wait and hope your arms didn’t give out under the tray of glasses. You had no idea how long it had been. You’d had about ten minutes when you’d started being set up, surely that time would have passed by now. Saliva was beginning to dribble under the gag and over your lips, trickling slowly down your chin to drip onto your chest. You heard Ben come back into the room, heading towards the speakers he’d set up and beginning to play the mix he’d created, music turned down low so it filled the background without distracting. Still you waited, trying to focus on keeping the tray of drinks balanced. Then suddenly, the buzzer, shocking you slightly and making your heart race. Ben answered, giving whoever it was access to the building and moments later you heard talking at the door, listening intently for who had arrived.   “Ben!”   “Lucy, looking lovely as always.” A pause, “Rami, great to see you buddy. Head on in, grab a drink and have a look. No touching yet though, we’ve got some rules to go through once everyone’s here.”    You heard footsteps, a pair of heels clicking over the floor and the duller noise of someone in flat shoes, getting closer. A girly giggle as two drinks were removed from your tray. You prayed it wasn’t going to change the balance and tip everything over. They were both quiet for a moment. You could feel their eyes on you, looking you up and down.   “You know I half thought Ben was joking,” Rami said quietly making Lucy laugh.   “Glad he wasn’t.” She said and you heard her heels again as she began walking around you slowly, taking in every inch of your helpless form, “She’s very pretty. Always thought Ben lucked out with her.”   “Alright, Luce, keep it in your pants,”   “Can’t help it. You know I can’t resist a helpless, restrained toy. And you have to admit she looks like she’ll be fun.”   “She definitely does. Almost can’t believe it’s Y/N. She always seemed so sweet and not one for this sort of thing.”   “Are you kidding? I knew she’d be into some kinky stuff the first time Ben introduced her to us.”   “What? No way,”   “Well okay, maybe not the instant I met her. You remember when we were at the restaurant with them, I went to the bathroom with her so I could chat to her, woman to woman, and I caught a glimpse of her wrist. There was a very clear mark that she was trying to hide, looked like it came from too tight handcuffs.”   You felt your cheeks grow warm at the memory. God, if you’d known then that Lucy had worked out what you and Ben had got up to that morning, you would have died from embarrassment. But now all it did was turn you on more, heat pooling in your stomach.   “God, see that?” Lucy suddenly exclaimed   “See what?”   “Right there, on the inside of her thigh,”   “Oh my god, you’re right, she’s dripping.”   The warmth of the oven spread through every room but you couldn’t suppress a shiver running down your spine as they both laughed, continuing to talk about you as if you weren’t there. You heard Ben walk back through the room as the buzzer rang a second time. The door opened and you said a silent thank you that Joe and Gwilym had arrived together, your arms already sore from holding them still for so long. Ben greeted them and told them the same thing he’d told Rami and Lucy – grab a drink, have a look, don’t touch. You were briefly forgotten as the two newcomers entered the room, everyone more focused on greeting each other until Joe asked where they’d got their champagne from.   “She’s got them.”   “Woah,”   “Right?”   “Is that really Y/N?”   “Go on, have a closer look. She’s absolutely loving this.”   “What d’you mean?”   “She’s wearing crotchless panties and you can see she’s completely soaked.”   “My god,”   Your tray lightened again as another two drinks were removed from it.   “Where’d Ben go?”  “He said something about giving us a chance to have a look around. I assume he meant her.”   “Hope he comes back soon, I’m itching to touch her.”   “Jeez Luce, didn’t realise you’d be so into it.”   “Well excuse me for getting into the spirit of it all.”  
They kept talking, the conversation a mix of catching up and comments about you. When Ben came back, his footsteps audible beneath the chatter, he was met by dozens of questions though he wouldn’t answer anything about you straight away. Eventually he took the last glass, leaving you to hold the empty tray despite the ache in your arms, and tapped it with his fingernail to get everyone’s attention.   “Sorry, don’t want to interrupt for too long” he said as everyone quieted down, “I just need your attention for a moment. There’s a few rules we need to cover before the fun can really start." He paused and you felt the energy of the room change, an electric current running through everyone as they focused on you and Ben.    “Firstly, just to be clear, this has all been set up with Y/N’s consent. Everyone has agreed to participate but of course you aren’t obligated to, and if anything that happens makes you uncomfortable, please talk to me about it.”   There was a brief murmur while Ben paused but once he started speaking again it stopped.   “Y/N and I can stop the scene at any time. Our safe word is red but obviously it may not be possible for Y/N to speak throughout the night so she also has a safe signal, three slaps against something. It could be the floor or a wall or her own thigh or whatever, but three slaps or the word red means everything stops instantly. There shouldn’t be any need for us to use them though, if everyone follows the rules, which are, one: you can touch or fuck Y/N just about however you want, as long as there is no anal play. You may have noticed she’s wearing a plug tonight but her arse is off limits to anyone who isn’t me.”   You whimpered softly behind the gag but Ben ignored you.   “Two: For the boys specifically I guess, you are not allowed to finish in her cunt, but down her throat or over any other part of her is fine. Three: We expect some bruises and marks, especially if you choose to use some of the toys provided,” he gestured towards the coffee table, “but please nothing that will leave permanent scars, no burns or blood. Four: Degrading names are fine but stick with things like slut and whore and bitch, nothing too personal. And finally, on a slightly different though no less serious note, five: no forehead kisses or anything that has a romantic connotation. That one is less for her sake than mine. Everyone understand?”   There was a chorus of yes’s in response before Ben spoke again.   “Good. We trust you, it’s why we were comfortable setting this up and inviting all of you, but my main concern is keeping this fun and safe for everyone, especially for Y/N.”   If it weren’t for the restraints and the desire to be good that had practically taken over your brain, you could have melted at the way he said your name. It carried the same weight as the words good girl or the ‘my’ in my slut. But before you had a chance to really appreciate it he’d moved on.   “I promise, this is the last thing I’m gonna say. Tonight this is not the Y/N you all know. This is a toy who happens to look like her. She is an object, a breathing blow up doll, here for your entertainment, for you to talk about or talk to or to use however entertains you most. Her pleasure is not the priority. Now have fun.”  
Everyone was still for a moment, not quite knowing how to start but then Lucy was coming towards you, the clacking of her heels almost ominous.   “Can we get rid of the tray now? Maybe the blindfold too?” She asked. The general chatter started up again behind her but you focused on Lucy’s voice.    “Sure thing,” Ben sounded more amused than anything, “You wanna leave her arms out or put them behind her back?” Ben took the tray and you let your arms drop, heavy with the strain of holding them up, a slight ache already in your shoulders.   “Restrained I think”   “Oi, Gwil, chuck us those handcuffs will you?” He called across the room before he turned back to Lucy, “I’ll give you the keys, Luce, let you decide how long she stays like that.”   “Ben, you’ve just made my day,”   They were both laughing as you felt your blindfold being tugged off and you blinked as your eyes adjusted to the sudden brightness.   “Much better,” Lucy teased, standing right in front of you, her voice low and pouty, “now we can see those pretty eyes.”   A familiar hand gripped your wrist, pulling it behind your back, followed quickly by the other one as Gwilym joined Ben behind you and handed over the cuffs, the fluffy black cover in place to make it easier on your wrists. Lucy dragged her hand down the side of your face, distracting you from the two boys behind you.   “Look at you, all dolled up for us. Don’t quite know where to start.” Her hand trailed lower, sliding along your jaw and down onto your neck. Your heart raced as the handcuffs clicked into place and Lucy opened her hand as if to choke you. Instead she lightly ran her thumb and fingers down the column of your throat, laying her hand flat once she reached your sternum. You jolted as Gwilym’s hands landed on your arse, grabbing you firmly and almost sending you toppling forward. Lucy continued to trail her hands down your body, squeezing your breasts and teasing your nipples through the thin fabric of your bra. You wanted to beg for more, for them to stop teasing you, but the gag prevented you. All you managed to do was let more saliva drip onto your chest.   “She’s got a nice arse, can see why you want to keep it to yourself,”   Ben laughed, “Can’t expect me to share everything mate.”    “Nice tits too,” Lucy said before she reared a hand back and brought it forward to slap one of them. You whined behind the gag, and Lucy’s face lit up.   “Let’s hear that again.” Her hand rose up into the air as Ben grabbed your arms, holding you still as she brought it down on your other breast. You whined again, partly because of the slap and partly because of the way Gwilym’s fingers were sliding along your cunt. Every noise you made only served to cover you in more of your own spit.   “You were right about how wet she is Lucy.”   “Why don’t you bend her over and fuck her,” Ben said as he let go of your arms, “that’s what she’s here for and I can promise her cunt is just as good as her arse.” He gave you a final tap on the hip as he walked off, winking at you from over Lucy’s shoulder before joining Joe and Rami in their conversation.  
The next thing you felt was Gwilym’s hand on your back pushing you to bend at the waist as he grabbed your bound arms where Ben had just let go. You looked up at Lucy as best you could, eyes wide at the sound of Gwilym’s zip being pulled down and the shuffle of his clothing. This was it. This was what you’d been secretly dreaming about for years, or close enough anyway. Lucy bent down slightly, bringing her face to your level as your hip was grasped hard by the man behind you.   “She’s gagging for it Gwil, drooling everywhere.”   That was the only encouragement Gwilym needed before he was sliding into you through the opening in your underwear, not giving you any time to adjust before he was fucking you hard and fast. The plug in your arse increased the fullness and tightness you felt and you squeezed your eyes shut as his hips snapped against you repeatedly. When you opened them Lucy was gone. Disappointment washed over you, compounded by the fact that Gwil was doing nothing to intentionally push you into an orgasm. His thrusts were forceful and made you whine around the gag but he wasn’t angled the right way to hit your g-spot and he refused to touch your clit.   “Slow down for a minute would you Gwil, wanna get that gag off her.” Lucy was back, pulling Rami along by the hand. Gwilym adjusted his pace, slowing enough for Lucy to remove the ballgag from your mouth, a long string of spit dripping from your lips as it was thrown to the side.    You gasped out, “thank you,” as Lucy ran her thumb over your chin, pushing the drool back up to your mouth.  “Liked it better when you couldn’t talk. Rami, sweetie, why don’t you put her mouth to good use.”  You whimpered as Rami released his cock and Lucy wrapped her hand around it, pumping a few times before she threaded her fingers through your hair to hold your head still.   “Good girl, keep that mouth open nice and wide for us,” she cooed as Rami eased himself inside.   He must have given Gwil some kind of signal that you’d missed, too focused on Lucy’s voice, because both of them began thrusting into you at the same time. This time Gwilym started slower, matching Rami’s pace as he worked himself down your throat, gradually speeding up again. Every noise you made in reaction to how Gwilym was fucking you was lost in a wet gag as your throat was used. Complete contrast to the slapping noises of Gwil’s hips against you and the grunts from both men. You knew they were both going to cum and that, at the rate you were going, you wouldn’t be just yet, and that only made you more desperate to touch yourself. It was very very rarely you’d been able to get off from penetration alone and though you tonight could potentially prove to be another of those times, it certainly wasn’t going to happen this quickly. Lucy must have sensed your need because she began to trail her fingertips down your back as she walked away from your head, eventually bringing her hand to your clit. You moaned as you finally felt some kind of relief, the sound muffled by the cock jammed down your throat.    “So needy,” Lucy commented to no one in particular, laughing as she removed her fingers and heard you whine. And then she was back in front of you, sucking on the fingers she’d touched you with as she watched more saliva drip off your chin.   “Oh, f-fuck,” you heard Gwilym grunt, his cock twitching as he slowed his hips and pulled out of you. You barely had time to register the sudden emptiness and increased desire before you felt him covering your lower back with his cum. He tapped your arse in appreciation and walked away. Lucy leaned in to whisper something in Rami’s ear and with another two thrust he was cumming too, making you swallow every drop before he fell from your lips and tucked himself away.   “Think I need a stiff drink after that,” he said as he headed off to find something, leaving you alone with Lucy.    You let out a breath as you stood up again, the ache between your legs stronger after Lucy’s much too brief touch.    “Think I could use a top up too actually,” Lucy said as she looked around, “I’ll be back in a minute and then we’ll find another use for your mouth.   You whimpered as Lucy walked away as well leaving you alone, unable to move properly, dripping and needy, back itchy where Gwilym’s cum had landed. You could see Lucy talking to Ben as he topped up her glass of champagne, Rami and Gwilym standing with them. Turning your head, you found Joe, standing at the table where you’d laid out the toys that you and Ben were open to people using on you. He picked up the leather paddle Ben liked to use when you needed a punishment, tapping it against his palm a few times. Your instinct was to squeeze your thighs together but the spreader bar prevented you. Instead you watched, holding your breath, as Lucy joined Joe. You could see them talking and laughing, Joe still tapping the paddle against his hand absentmindedly. And then they were both walking in your direction, still talking, Joe still holding that damn paddle. You swallowed hard.   
As soon as Lucy was in front of you, she wrapped her hand around your throat again, squeezing slightly as she took a sip of her drink.    “I checked with Ben, he said this was okay,” She brought her lips to yours. Your first thought was that they were softer than Ben’s. Your second was that she tasted like champagne and strawberry lip gloss. Your third was how much it hurt when she bit your lip and pulled it.    “Had to know,” she shrugged, looking at Joe.   “Hey, no complaints here,”   “D’you want to uncuff her, or should I?”   “I’ll do it, you keep making out,”   Lucy giggled as she handed over the keys.   “Uncuffing me?” you croaked; voice rough from a mixture of not talking and how your throat had been used.   “Only because I want your fingers. Gonna use them and that pretty mouth to get me off.”   You whimpered and heard a chuckle from behind you as your wrists were finally released.   “She hasn’t even heard what I’m gonna do to her yet,”   “I was gonna let that be a surprise Joe,”   You rolled your shoulders, stretching the stiffness from them, and confessed that you’d already seen the paddle. Lucy tutted as she undid the clasp of your bra, dropping it to the floor as she turned towards the couch and fell into it gracefully, “Might have to blindfold you again after this. Can’t have you ruining any more of our surprises.” She crooked her finger at you and you awkwardly followed her, the spreader bar inhibiting your movement so that each small step drew everyone’s eye. When you were close enough to grab onto the couch for support you eased yourself to your knees and shuffled as close as you could get. Lucy raised her dress slightly, hooking her leg over your shoulder. You could feel the heel of her shoe resting on your back as you were drawn towards her still clothed pussy, a large wet patch proof of how much fun she’d had so far. You hooked your finger into her underwear, pulling it to the side, just as Joe began to speak to the room at large. Lucy’s hand in your hair kept you focused on her, kitten licking along her lips, as Joe began to take bets on how many spanks you could handle before you begged to stop. You weren't sure who said which number, everyone’s voices bleeding into each other as they argued and defended their bets. The lowest you heard was a pitiful five, the highest you were sure came from Ben who put his money on twenty. After all, he knew he’d reached that with you before. You tried to keep your tongue on Lucy as the talk died down again and the nerves rose in your chest, everyone waiting for the first strike. The was a pause, almost silent, and then the paddle came down against your arse, splitting the air with a sharp slap followed by a chorus of voices counting the first strike. You let out a small hiss as you relaxed back into Lucy, drawing a gasp from her as you circled your tongue around her clit. You were a little more prepared for the second spank now that you had an idea of how Joe moved, how forceful his first one had been. It only made you jolt forward, your hitched breath covered by everyone calling out two! The spanks with the paddle came faster and harder as they progressed, making you gasp into Lucy’s cunt as you continued to lick along her folds, gradually adding your fingers one at a time. By the time they’d reached ten spanks you were fighting back tears, three fingers pumping in and out of Lucy, trying to distract yourself from the sting in your arse by listening to the moans and sighs falling from her lips every time you curled your fingers and lapped at her wetness. You could tell she was getting close, rhythmically clenching round your fingers, her heel digging into your back as you took yet another hit. You sucked Lucy’s clit into your mouth as you pressed your fingers in deep, curling them and making her moan. It didn’t take much more than that to have her cumming, though the way you whined as Joe spanked you again probably helped push her over the edge. You let her ride the orgasm out on your fingers, licking up her release until she pushed you away and let her leg drop from your shoulder. As soon as you were free you felt another spank, this one hard enough to push a sob from your throat and tears from your eyes. Everyone yelled out the number thirteen and you braced yourself for another.  
You finally broke, crying out to stop at number twenty-two. Mascara stung your eyes and left black lines down your cheeks in the wake of tears you couldn’t stop. As chatter filled the room once more, discussing your performance and claiming Ben shouldn’t win any money since he clearly knew how long you’d last, you heard footsteps approach. Ben’s hand was warm against the back of your head and for a moment you let yourself drop out of the scene, leaning your forehead against his leg and breathing deep to control your tears.    “Hey, that wasn’t too much was it?” Joe asked, eyes flicking between you and Ben.   “No, not at all. Y/N knew how much she could take and you stopped when she said so.”   “Okay, good. Just wanted to check. You seemed a little tense towards the end there.”   “Mate, you’re fine. Just not the easiest thing to watch my girlfriend in that position when I’m not the one controlling how hard or how often she gets hit.”   “Yeah, Joe, that was great,” you said, looking up at him through watery eyes, “Broke my record.”   “And won me fifty quid,”   “Good luck getting everyone to pay up,” he chuckled.   For the briefest of moments, it felt like the three of you were just hanging out, joking around over a beer down the pub, until Ben leaned down to ask if you were alright to continue.   “Yeah, I am,” you nodded, sitting back on your heels and hissing slightly as they came into contact with your red, stinging arse. Even the pain wasn’t enough to dull the ache between your legs.   “Then why don’t you be a good whore and give Joe a proper thank you,” he turned to leave, stopping long enough to tell Joe not to be afraid to be rough.   “Well come on, thank me. Haven’t got all night,” Joe towered over you as you hurried to unzip his pants, setting his cock free as you slid them down over his hips. You wrapped your hand around him, thankful to be able to use your hands, as you leaned in to drag your tongue over his tip, collecting the precum that had already begun to accumulate. Clearly he’d enjoyed spanking you. From the way he bucked his hips as you took him between your lips, running your tongue along the underside of his cock, you’d say he enjoyed it quite a lot. He let you set your own pace, bobbing your head as you took him deeper before pulling off him entirely, pumping your hand over his length. Your own need was too much to ignore and you trailed your free hand over your thigh, desperate for some sort of relief. You didn’t get very far though before Joe noticed.   “Didn’t say you could do that,” he says as he knocks your hand away with his foot.   “Please, Joe, need to cum so bad,”   “Things like you don’t need anything. You just want it. Maybe you can convince me though.” He pushed on the back of your head and you took the hint, taking him back into your mouth. He left his hand resting lightly on your head but you could feel the weight of it, aware of how easy it would be for him to hold you down and make you choke. It did nothing to alleviate your desire.   “That’s better,” he grunted as you hollowed your cheeks. You picked up the pace, the mere possibility of an orgasm spurring you on. He let out a string of muttered curses as you let him sink deeper, reaching up with your free hand to squeeze his balls lightly. You looked up at him when he grabbed a fistful of your hair, eyes meeting as he snapped his hips towards you, making you gag. When he brought his other hand to your hair you knew you weren’t in control anymore. All you could do was brace your hands on his thighs and try to relax your throat as he thrust into you again and again, heedless of your comfort, your breath, your choked moans. You knew he was getting close by the way he sped up, grunting as he held you down. And then he was out of your throat, covering your chest with his cum while you desperately sucked air into your lungs. You were still gasping when he pulled you back to your feet. He lazily trailed his fingers down your stomach, stopping right before he reached where you wanted him most.    “Joe, please,”   “No. Didn’t convince me. But maybe someone else will take pity on you.” He withdrew his hand, walking away.  
Once again you were going to take matters into your own hands when you were stopped, this time by Ben who was clearly keeping a close eye on you.  “Uh uh uh, that’s not allowed.” he said as he grabbed your wrist, pulling your hand away from your dripping cunt, “if you don’t play along properly we’ll have to stop the game, and then you definitely won’t get to cum.”   You whined as he pulled the black bandana from his pocket and tied it round your eyes again.   “Didn’t expect you to lose this so quickly, let’s see how long it lasts before Lucy takes it off again.”   You nodded, vision removed once more.   “Now, are you going to be good or should I tie your hands up again?”   “I’ll be good.”   “Good. Can’t have you misbehaving in front of everyone.” He gave your arse a swat, making you whimper, as he walked off, leaving you alone and unable to see. It didn’t last long, the being alone part at least. One of the guys, you couldn’t tell who, trailed his fingertips over your collarbone, raising goose bumps and making your breath quicken. He remained quiet, giving you no hint to his identity, as he moved up your neck, fingers coming to rest where it met your jaw. He tilted your head to the side as he leaned in to attach his lips to your skin. You could feel your pulse beating hard under his tongue, a moan dropping from your lips as he kissed his way down your throat. He sunk his teeth into your shoulder before he left chuckling at the way you’d cried out. About a minute passed and then another set of hands were on you, rougher than the last. He, whoever he was, grabbed your wrist pulling your hand out so he could spit into your palm before wrapping your fingers around his cock.   
This was exactly how your fantasies normally went – just you and a series of anonymous people using your body however they wanted, rutting into your hand, squeezing your throat as they pinched and pulled your tits, bending you over so they could shove their cock into your mouth or examine the bruises forming on your arse. You could hear snatches of conversations as you were pulled around by numerous hands, never quite sure who was touching you at any given time. On your left you could hear Joe telling someone about the road trip he went on with some friends last month. The juxtaposition of such a casual conversation while you were being fingered to within an inch of your life made your head spin. It was the third time you’d heard the story during the night. Right before he got to the part about almost being left in a truckstop bathroom you heard the familiar click of Lucy’s heels. She was the only one you were certain of when she came close. Well, her and Ben – you had no trouble picking his footsteps or scent from everyone else’s. Perhaps you could have worked out the others except that thinking was becoming harder to do. Your body was covered in splatters of cum at various stages of drying, making you itch, your arse smarted, and you felt like if you didn’t cum soon you were going to combust. You’d been close more times than you could count but never quite got there before those who were fucking you pulled out and left you with their cum straining your underwear or dripping from your lips. You moaned as the fingers still pumping into you sped up.   “C’mon Gwil, be nice and let her cum, she looks desperate,”   So that was who was tormenting you at the moment, Gwilym was the reason you’d been saying nothing but the word please for the last three minutes.   “Think you mean pathetic,” he made no move to alter his pattern  “Well if you wont, I will,” her fingers drifted down towards your clit, circling you slowly as Gwilym continued finger fucking you. It only took a few seconds for her to have you moaning out your release, coating both their hands in your juices as you rode the orgasm for as long as they let you.   “Thank you,” you said breathlessly as both of them removed their hands from you.   Gwilym tapped his fingers against your lips until you let him push them into your mouth. Leaning into your ear he softly said, “I’m going to fuck you again before the night’s done. Properly.” You heard him retreat but then Lucy was grabbing your hand, placing it between her own legs.   “Fair’s fair.”   She was wet, her cunt welcoming you with a squeeze as you let two fingers slide into her. You began to build a steady pace, searching for that spot that would make her knees buckle. She threw her arms over your shoulders for support as you added a third finger, her nails digging into you as you let your thumb land on her clit. Her moans were muffled by your neck as you pushed her closer to her release, curling your fingers and stroking until she came on shaking legs.   “I’m going to have to ask Ben if I can borrow you for a night. Chain you to my bed and play with every inch of you until I can’t cum anymore.”   You lost track of how long you’d stood there, being repositioned over and over. Sometimes you had less than a second before one cock was replaced by another, sometimes you were left alone for what felt like hours, listening for any hint of someone approaching but only hearing the conversations happening around you.   
When Ben announced that dinner was ready everyone moved toward the table, replacing chairs they’d moved around during the night, a couple of people giving you a last squeeze or slap as they passed. Ben knelt down to release your feet and you almost collapsed against him as he led you towards your designated seat. It was one of the chairs taken from the table everyone sat at, pulled off to the side so you were still within view without being the center of attention. He pulled your arms behind the chair, securing you in place with the handcuffs so you couldn’t move. You could smell the roast Ben had spent the afternoon preparing, along with all the accompanying sides that you’d helped him make.    “Is Y/N not eating with us then?” Lucy asked.   “Toys don’t need to eat,”   “She’s probably full anyway,” Joe said matter-of-factly, “y’know, from how much she’s swallowed tonight.”   There were snorts of laughter amongst the tinkling sounds of cutlery and glasses, followed by the melodic buzz of talking, sometimes discussions that involved the whole table, sometimes just kept between two or three people. Occasionally you heard your name mentioned making you jump and focus on the conversation. More often than not it was Ben mentioning you in passing as he talked about the day trip you’d taken to the beach last week or something else equally mundane. But the few less innocent comments you heard made you squirm. Hearing Rami describe how incredible your tits were was enough to have you whimpering, and hearing Gwil talk about how hot you sounded when you came had you clenching your thighs together in your chair.   “Fuck, look at her now,” Joe said, accompanied by the sound of someone shifting their chair for a better look, followed by a louder, “you alright?” directed towards you.    You whined, knowing you sounded completely desperate but beyond caring, as you tried to get some sort of relief.   “Needy whore,”   “Wants to be fucked some more,” said with an accompanying laugh.   “Someone should do it. Dinner and a show.”   “Nah, let her squirm a bit longer,”   “If you boys are quite done, I think I have an idea,”    “She’s all yours,”   You whimpered as Lucy pushed her chair back, listening as the sound of her shoes went past you and then returned a few seconds later.    You got a whiff of her perfume, floral and sweet, as she leaned down, hands resting on your thighs. You could feel something pressed between her palm and your leg but couldn’t work out what it was, not with her talking to you so softly, her breath tickling your ear and sending a shiver through you.    “You wanna cum again, don’t you? Poor thing.”   All you could do was nod, whimpering out a soft, “please.”   You were already trembling as she knelt between your legs, caressing your thighs softly before she hooked her fingers into the band of your thong and slid it off you. She lifted one of your legs onto her shoulder so she could push the unknown object into you before she let your leg drop back down and stood up again. You were panting, unsure why she’d teased you so, as she took her seat again.   “What’d you do, Luce? Nothing happened,” Rami barely finished speaking when you felt the egg vibrator come to life and a small oh slipped out of your mouth. The vibration increased sending you hurtling towards the orgasm you so badly wanted. You clenched your legs together as you moaned through your release, Lucy reducing the power of the vibrator as you came down. You had maybe five seconds to compose yourself before it was being turned back up again, pulling a string of moaned expletives from you as you fell into another orgasm much more quickly than you ever had before.    “There’s your show,” Lucy laughed over your whines as your sensitivity grew.   “Pass me the controller for a minute,” Joe said, “how do you use it?”   “Just spin that wheel, up makes it vibrate more,”   “Like this?”   You jerked in your chair as it got stronger, whimpering when he turned it down again.   “Oh, easy. Think I’m a little scared of you now Luce.”   There was laughter as you tipped over the edge again.   
They didn’t let up until they’d had their fill, finishing their dinner to the sound of your heavy panting and moaned requests to stop as you unsuccessfully tried to squirm away from the constant vibrations. The controller was passed from person to person, each one changing the settings according to their own whim. For a while you were left with a low-level buzzing as the controls sat by Gwil’s plate, untouched, giving you as much respite as you could hope for under the circumstances. But then it was back in the hands of Joe who delighted in making you scream as he turned it up high. By the time everyone had eaten their last bite and complimented the meal, the controls were in Ben’s hands. If you’d hoped for leniency, for a kind word of praise as he set you free, you’d hoped wrong. Ben did halt the vibrator, turning it off as he walked towards you and removed your blindfold again, but he also twisted his hand through your hair so he could tug your head up, forcing you to look at the table. Four pairs of eyes were fixed on you as Ben spun the controls to the highest possible setting, watching as your hips bucked and your back arched as much as your bound position would allow you. You couldn’t even scream as you came again, your voice catching in your throat as all the air was pushed from your lungs at once. When he was satisfied with your performance, Ben turned it off and reached between your legs to pull the egg from you, pocketing it as he began collecting dirty dishes with the help of an insistent Lucy, leaving you twitching in the chair. You closed your eyes for a second in an attempt to settle your pounding heart, opening them to find Rami standing in front of you.   “I know you lost count of how many orgasms you just had,” he said softly as he kneeled between your legs, “but I’m going to take another one from you.” He pushed your legs wider, probing at your entrance with two fingers as he rubbed your clit with his other hand. You didn’t think you could cum again but his unhurried movements built you up despite how sensitive you felt. He watched your every reaction as he changed the angle of his fingers until he found your gspot. You shook as you tipped over the edge again, unable to resist his steady strokes.   “Good girl, knew you had another one for me.” he said as he wiped his hands on his pants. 
“What do you think Rami?” Joe asked as he and Gwilym approached.  “What do I think about what?”   “Best way to play with a girl’s nipples,”   “Oh, I guess, like this,” Rami reached out with one hand, pinching your nipple and rolling it between his fingers before tugging it away from your body, making you loudly whine.   “Is that really your favourite way?”   “It’s a classic. Simple. Easy to control. You can add a twist,” he twisted your nipple until you tried to jerk away, “for a little extra pain if she’s into that.”   Joe scoffed, “You cannot beat sucking on a nipple. It’s clearly the best way,” he lowered his head to your chest, his breath fanning out over your sensitive nipple as he moved closer. He took it into his mouth, tracing his tongue around it and sucking gently. Your eyes fluttered closed, releasing a soft moan at how good it felt until he suddenly clamped his teeth down, making you wince.   “See? Nothing beats a little bit of tongue and teeth. Well okay Gwil, since you clearly disagree, you wanna demonstrate for the class?”   “I don’t necessarily disagree. It just depends on what you want to achieve.”   Joe raised his eyebrows and waved his hand, inviting Gwilym to go on.   “Well if you want her to moan then yeah, either of your methods is great. But if you’re looking for something a little more painful, maybe more of a punishment, you can’t beat the flick.” Without any warning he dropped his hand towards your other nipple, flicking it quickly, making you jolt.   “It’s especially good if you surprise them with it after you’ve been fairly gentle. And the more you do it, the more it hurts.”   “Show me again?”   Gwilym repeated his flicking motion on both your nipples at once, and then again, each one sending a shock of pain through your chest. You whimpered as his fingers were replaced by Rami’s on one nipple and Joe’s on the others, both testing the flick for themselves.   “Okay, that’s pretty good.”   “I’ll expect your cheques in the mail soon,”   “Wonder what Ben thinks,” Joe said, heading off to find out, followed by Rami. Gwilym stayed behind.   “What say we get you out of those cuffs now?” Gwil said as he picked up the keys from where Ben had left them near you. You nodded, expecting there to be a catch, but he leant down behind you and unlocked your restraints without another word. You brought your arms to your front, rolling your wrists, but didn’t have time for anything else before he was dragging you from the chair to the table and pushing you down over it.   “Told you I was gonna fuck you again.”   Your nails scratched over the smooth surface of the table, looking for something to cling on to as he bottomed out. The best you could manage was to grasp the side of the table, knuckles turning white and plea for him not to stop, as he fucked you. You clenched around him, reaching your peak and falling into an underwhelming orgasm right as he pulled out of you. Before you could stand up again he was pulling you backwards and pushing you to your knees.   “Mouth,” he grunted and you had a few seconds to register the way Gwilym was pumping his fist over his cock before he was coating your lips and chin. You had just enough time to swallow what you could lick up before Rami pushed his cock between your lips. It took you by surprise, not having realised the others had returned but you tried to stay relaxed as he thrust into your mouth a couple of times before Joe replaced him. Your hands flew up to grasp their shafts as you alternated between them, sucking one as you jerked the other. Suddenly your hair was being tugged on as Lucy spun your head towards her. She used her free hand to remove her underwear and you obediently leaned in to suck her clit, still jerking Joe and Rami. Lucy pushed you closer to her, your nose nudging her clit as your tongue wandered lower, pulling a few softly spoken expletives from her. You felt like you’d just found the perfect rhythm to please the three of them when you were grabbed under your arms and pulled away. You were dropped on your feet in front of Ben, who sat on the couch. He spun you round and you squealed as he swatted your still sore arse but you bent over for him all the same, trying to relax as he carefully removed the plug he’d wiggled into you that morning. The lube was cold as he squirted a generous amount onto you, using his fingers to make sure you were ready before he pulled you backwards, spreading your cheeks as you slowly sunk down onto him.    “Breath,” he said into your ear and you realised you’d been holding your breath, “You good?”   “Mmhmm,” you tilted your head back, eyes closed as the stretch settled into a deep fullness. Ben leaned into the back of the couch, almost lying down, and you felt your legs being spread. You barely had time to react to Rami plowing into your cunt, the moan getting caught in your throat as Joe filled your mouth with his cock. Somewhere to your left you could hear Gwilym and Lucy laughing about you being sealed airtight but the joke barely registered in your brain, much too concerned with how incredibly full you were. Joe timed his thrusts to match Rami’s, the force making you rock on Ben’s cock even as he stayed relatively still. Your eyes fluttered shut, stray tears clinging to your eyelashes as you tried not to let the mix of sensations overwhelm you. You felt the couch dip a little as Lucy knelt beside you, grabbing your hand and placing your fingers at her entrance. She rocked against your hand, chasing the release she’d been close to getting from your tongue. Gwil grabbed your other hand, wrapping it around his cock, but you hardly noticed his rutting as Ben suddenly thrust up into you. Your whole body felt hot, a fire spreading through you as you were fucked from every angle, a fuzz settling in your brain as the pleasure took over. You shook as an orgasm rolled through you, Rami pulling out of you and jerking himself off onto your tits. As soon as Rami stepped back Joe took his place, pushing deep into you as Lucy brought your head to her chest. She arched her back into you as you sucked a nipple into your mouth. Joe and Ben were so in sync as they thrust in and out of you, filling you more completely than you’d ever felt before.   “Fuck,” Joe grunted as he pulled out of you, cumming over your stomach. You whined as Lucy pushed three fingers into your overly sensitive cunt, your head being pulled away from her breasts so Gwil could fuck your throat. Your own choked moans echoed in your ears as your whole body buzzed and your vision slipped in and out of focus. You felt like you were floating between them, unable to find anything real to cling on to or ground you. You were vaguely aware of Lucy’s rapidly increasing ohs as she rubbed her clit and reached her own release on your hand. She continued to pump her fingers into you, curling them until you were seeing stars. The moan you made around Gwil’s cock had him cursing as he filled your mouth with his cum, watching it drip over your lips as he pulled out. You hastily sucked in a breath of air, it going some way to making you feel less lightheaded, but the breath was quickly pushed from your lungs again as Ben grasped your hips and began to slam you down on his cock repeatedly. It didn’t take him long to reach his own climax, pulling out as he released his load so that it dripped down between your legs.   
You still felt floaty and dizzy as Ben picked you up and lay you down on the couch with a pillow under you head.   “She’s done guys,” he said to the rest of the group, nodding his head to the table as an invitation to join him. Everyone stayed a little while longer, sitting around and talking over coffee and cake like it was a regular dinner party, like they hadn’t just collectively fucked you into a different realm. You stayed curled up on the couch, dozing on and off as you gradually got the buzzing in your body to stop. Your dazed state stretched on as everyone left, snatches of goodbyes floating to you from the doorway. When you thought back a week later you could distinctly remember hearing Gwilym say he’d love to do that again if you were ever going to repeat the experience. Once the door was shut and the music stopped, Ben knelt down by your head, brushing your hair away from your face.   “Y/N?” He said softly. You blinked your eyes open and smiled up at him.   “That was fun,” you felt groggy and tired but you laughed as Ben pulled you into a tight bear hug, “You shouldn’t hug me Ben, I’m covered in cum and smudged makeup and lube and whatever else, gonna ruin your clothes.”   “Clothes shmothes. As if I’m not gonna hug you after that. You were fucking incredible.”   You buried your face in his neck, breathing deeply.   “How do you feel?”   “Like I need a shower.”   “How about a bath?”   “Even better.”   Ben kissed the top of your head before he let you go, wrapping his arm around your waist as he led you to the bathroom. You picked up a facecloth as Ben ran the bath, using it to clean the mascara tear tracks and smudged lipstick from your cheeks and chin.    “Let me help,” Ben said softly, dropping to his knees and unhooking your stockings from the garter belt, sliding both down your legs and throwing them into the laundry hamper. You ruffled his hair in gratitude, the tiredness you felt only getting more pronounced as the seconds slipped by.   The tub wasn’t full but you needed to sit down, carefully stepping over the edge and easing yourself into the hot water. Ben quickly shed his own clothes, adding them to the hamper, and climbed in behind you. You stayed sitting just long enough to turn the water off before the tub overflowed, and then leaned back against Ben.   “How do you feel?” he asked again as he picked up your soap and washcloth, “now that you’re in a bath I mean.”   “Tired and a little sore. And kinda feel like crying but I’m not sure why.”   He ran the washcloth along your shoulder and down your arm, beginning to scrub your skin clean.   “Well I’ve booked you in for a massage tomorrow afternoon, so that should help with the sore. As for the tired, I am gonna make you stay awake a little longer, but you can relax while I take care of you and you can sleep in tomorrow.”   “And the random crying?”   “Just your brain rebalancing. It was flooded with a bunch of endorphins and different emotions. Cry as much as you need to, it’s cathartic and it’ll make you feel better.”   You nodded, tilting your head back to look at him, “did you have a good time?”   “Absolutely. That was so unbelievably hot. Definitely gonna keep me going next time I’m away,”   You both laughed softly as he gently pushed you forward so he could wash your back. He pushed your hair out of the way and traced his finger over a mark on your shoulder.   “You got a few souvenirs from tonight,”   “Is that the bitemark?”   “Yeah. Do you know who left it?”   “Not really. At the time I thought it might be Rami but I’m not sure. What else have I got?”   “Couple red spots where people slapped you. Quite a few scratches.”   “Lucy,” you both said at the same time with a chuckle.   Ben kept talking to you as he shampooed and conditioned your hair and while he wrapped you in a big fluffy towel. He kissed you on the forehead again and told you to go hop into bed, that he’d be with you in a moment.   “And don’t go to sleep yet either. I’ll be quick.”   You did as he asked, having just enough energy to slip into one of his tee shirts and a fresh pair of undies before hopping under the covers. You snuggled down deep, closing your eyes as your head landed on the pillow, ignoring Ben’s request to stay awake. But, try as you might, sleep wouldn’t come. Your body was too amped up, still kind of horny despite everything, leaving you simultaneously dead tired and wide awake. Sitting up again you reached for your laptop, figuring you might as well watch some Netflix or something. And then the tears started, virtually out of nowhere. When Ben came back, in fresh pyjamas straight from the clean washing yet to be put away, he found you hunched over, clutching your knees to your chest and crying uncontrollably. He placed the items he was carrying down on his bedside table before he joined you in bed, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you leaned into his chest. He rubbed your back and mumbled soft words of praise until you managed to stop.   “Sorry,” you said as you wiped at your eyes, “it just hit me,”   “Nothing to apologise for babe, I told you to let it out. Do you feel better?”   “A bit, yeah,”   “Here, brought you something,” he handed you a glass of water and a plate of food, everything from the dinner you’d been unable to eat, put aside especially for you, “wanted to make sure you ate something and drank some water before you slept,”   You nodded already biting into a warm potato.   “What d’you want to watch?”   “Don’t care, as long as I don’t have to think.”   He picked an episode of Brooklyn Nine-Nine at random. You’d both seen it before so it wouldn’t matter if you fell asleep while it played but it was funny enough to keep you entertained as your brain and body relaxed. After you’d finished eating Ben offered you a row from a block of chocolate claiming it’d help your body balance itself and feel more normal. You didn’t know if that was true but you ate it regardless. Finally he was ready to let you settle down. He got up to turn the light off as you packed away the laptop and once again snuggled down under the covers. You hissed slightly as he slid in behind you, coming into contact with your bum.   “Shit, I’m sorry babe, should have got a cold compress on that earlier,”   “‘s alright. Do it tomorrow, it’ll be fine.” your eyes were much too heavy to be worried about how you’d bruise. Ben agreed, pulling you against his chest carefully.   “I love you Y/N, so much,” he said softly as he leaned his head against your neck.   You were already asleep.  
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sunlightbabe · 6 years ago
Text
as our heads leaned in (ii)
Pairing: lucy boynton x reader A/N: a follow up fic for as our heads leaned in (x). mentions of implied smut, but this is mostly just 2.5k words of cute girls being hopelessly in their feelings. enjoy!
Filming was done. After years of re-writes and delays, after months of shooting, the journey of Bohemian Rhapsody was coming to an end. The tone on set was bittersweet for the final days of filming. Soon enough, people would be giving teary eyed goodbyes to each other before heading back home as cast and crew alike scattered across the globe.
But now? Now it was time to celebrate.
You sighed happily as you slid one of your heels off, rolled your ankle, and stretched out your foot. As much as you loved these shoes, you couldn’t stand wearing them for another second. The second heel came off shortly after and you tucked them under your chair, enjoying the feel of the cool floor beneath you.
It was nice to get off your feet for a moment. All night long you had wandered around the venue, congratulating everyone on their hard work and mingling with the other crew members. Flutes of champagne had been pressed into your hand all throughout the night and now that you were sitting down at a table away from the main bustle of the party, you were starting to really feel it. You pressed the back of your hand against your heated cheek, delighting in how cool it seemed in comparison.
“Mind if I join you?”
A small smile tugged at the corners of your mouth as you turned to face your visitor. “The honor’s all mine, Mr. Malek.”
Rami sat down at your table, pulling out a chair a few seats from yours. His hair was looking a little ruffled and the top few buttons of his shirt were undone. You reached for your drink and swirled it around its glass as you watched him settle in.
“Can I have a sip of that?” he asked as he set his arms on the table. You slid him the glass without a word and watched with a small giggle as his eyes widened once he took a sip.
“That’s not water,” he chuckled. You shook your head slowly as he took another sip anyways before returning your drink. “That’s gin.”
“Yep,” you said, popping the ‘p’. “Gin and tonic. Needed something different to break up all that- that sweet bubbly.”
“Sweet bubbly? Maybe you should have some water,” Rami teased with laughter in his eyes. You merely stuck your tongue out at him and he grinned.
You folded a leg underneath yourself, making sure your dress didn’t get all tangled up in the process, and cupped your chin in your hand as you leaned your elbow on the table. “So, what brings you to my quiet little corner of the world?”
Rami shrugged. “Just… needed some air for a moment. ’s a lot, ya know?” There was a slight slur to his words. You hummed in thought, finger swirling around the rim of your glass.
“I’m sure no one would try and stop you if you, like, just skipped out early.”
“Tempting,” Rami said with a hum, tilting his head to the side as he considered it for a brief moment. “I know the guys were thinking about getting some people together after this for an, uh, after party thing.” He paused. “I think Joe would maul me if I didn’t at least make an appearance.”
You stretched over to place a hand reassuringly on his arm. “You poor thing. Must be hard being so popular,” you teased him with a dramatic pout.
Rami rolled his eyes and flicked your hand as a smile snuck onto his face. “Speaking of being popular, your name keeps getting brought up tonight.”
“Oh?”
“Lucy’s been looking for you.”
Your skin felt heated and it was only partially to blame on the alcohol running through your system.
The Kiss, a moment so important you capitalized it in your mind, happened well over a month ago and as you had thought, it changed things between you and Lucy- but it changed them in the best way possible.
The two of you would sneak kisses in your makeup trailer and in-between takes. You’d reach for her hand whenever you thought you could away with it and Lucy had started to sit on your lap whenever possible, her arm around your shoulders or her hand playing with your hair. Your days were filled with soft touches, private smiles and lingering looks.
(Since The Kiss, you had spent just one night together, and the two of you had spent it tangled up in her sheets, hair fanned out against the pillows, skin pressed against skin. The memory of how your bodies moved together made heat and want coil low in your stomach.)
But the past few days had been busy. An excited frenzy took over the set as everyone worked hard to finish the movie on schedule. The few moments you had seen each other were rushed and spent in the company of others. Ben had caught you after that first kiss and Joe had pried the details out of you a week later over some cocktails, but you weren’t sure how much everyone else knew. You didn’t know if this thing between you and Lucy was supposed to be secret.
Rami arched an eyebrow expectantly. Right, you were having a conversation. Be cool.
“She has?” you asked after a long moment. You had hoped to come across as casual but judging by the knowing look on Rami’s face, you missed the mark entirely. This is why you could never be an actor. “I-I mean, yeah that- that makes sense? I haven’t seen her tonight- or like, I saw her earlier, but she was surrounded by people and I didn’t want to interrupt or get in the way or anything.”
You felt like a rambling idiot.
Rami watched you with a fond smile before he reached over to pluck your drink out of your hands. He ignored your protests as he downed the rest of your gin and tonic, smacking his lips obnoxiously before placing the now empty glass on the table.
“Dude-”
“She’s by the bar. Or she was just a couple of minutes ago.”
You snorted as you pushed yourself up and out of your seat. The room didn’t spin but your legs felt more unsteady beneath you than you would have liked. Maybe your next drink really should be a glass of water. “If you wanted to finish my drink, you could have just asked.”
Rami simply waved dismissively and with a salute, you headed off towards the bar.
The floor felt a little sticky under your bare feet, but you hardly cared, entirely focused on finding Lucy. A majority of the party attendees were either on the makeshift dance floor or clustered in groups near the bar. You easily made your way across the room, hands reaching out to lightly touch people’s shoulders or backs as you navigated your way around them. The music overhead only got louder the further you walked into the main room and you could feel the bass notes reverberate in your chest.
You reached the edge of the crowd when you saw her.
Lucy smiled at the bartender as she was handed a flute of champagne. She was wearing a charcoal gray dress with lacy sleeves and a bold plunging neckline. Her earrings and necklace glimmered under the lights and her hair was done up in a simple french-twist. She was breath taking.
And, you delightfully noticed a moment later, she was also without her heels.
She turned her attention away from the bar and towards the room and when her eyes met yours, everything else seemed to stop.
You walked forward without realizing it and Lucy was quick to set her drink on the bar before she was closing the space between you to meet you half way. Her arms wrapped around your shoulders and yours wound themselves around her torso and the two of you stood there for a long, beautiful moment, holding each other tightly.
“There you are,” Lucy smiled as you two finally pulled away. Her hands remained on your shoulders, thumbs brushing against your skin, and you kept your hands firmly on her waist. “I’ve been looking for you all night.”
“Sorry,” you said with a small, breathy laugh. “Didn’t mean to keep you waiting.”
Lucy said nothing. A warm look crossed her face as she looked you over, eyes trailing slowly down your body. You bit your bottom lip and fought the urge to squirm under her gaze as a wave of giddiness washed over you.
“You look beautiful,” she breathed out and you almost didn’t hear her over the music, and then, “but what happened to your shoes?”
“I could ask you the same thing.”
Lucy moved her hands from your shoulders, fingers trailing down your arms, before she took your hands in hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. “Rami took them for me. Said he was going to put them at one of the empty tables in the back.”
That sneaky bastard.
The song changed and Lucy’s face lit up. “Dance with me!” she said excitedly as she lightly tugged on your hands. You barely nodded your head before she was pulling you over to the dance floor.
Lucy weaved her way through the crowd and by the time she came to a stop, you were somewhere in the middle, surrounded on all sides by people you recognized but couldn’t name. The song overhead was a remix of a popular pop song whose name currently escaped you, but that hardly mattered. What mattered was Lucy, her hands warm against your forearms as she bopped and swayed to the beat. She was just slightly off beat- although you weren’t doing much better. You were well beyond buzzed at this point and moved your hips as in-time as you could.
One song bled into another and you and Lucy remained on the dance floor, bodies close as you danced. She’d shimmy and you’d shake your ass and the two of you would giggle and nearly collapse into each other, wide grins on both your faces. It was silly and fun and every time your eyes met hers, your heart would lurch in your chest.
Lucy was beautiful. Not just physically, but as a person. She was a beacon of light who always had a kind word to say. She was reliable and dependable, the kind of person who would give you the shirt off her back if you asked. You were grateful that your paths had crossed and truthfully? It blew your mind a little that she seemed to like spending time with you as much as you did with her.
You weren’t in love with her yet but god, you were well on your way.
The song changed once more to something slower but still with a steady beat. Lucy took a step closer and raised her arms to your shoulders, her hands clasping together behind your neck. In turn, you set your hands on her hips and the two of you rocked together, weight shifting from foot to foot.
Lucy looked at your face expectantly and you blushed. “Hi,” you said softly, the two of you so close that you didn’t have to shout to be heard over the music.
“Hi,” she replied with a smile. Her eyes swept over your face and you tried not to stare at her mouth. You very much failed. “What are you thinking about?”
“You,” you answered truthfully, all that champagne making you a little bolder. A shiver crept down your spine as Lucy gently ran her nails along the nape of your neck. “I’ve missed you.”
Lucy leaned forward to rest her forehead against yours. “I’ve missed you too,” she sighed. You felt every inhale and exhale against your skin. “Thought you might have been avoiding me for a bit, actually, but Rami told me that was stupid and pointed out how busy we’ve all been lately.”
"Does Rami know?” About this. About us.
Lucy shook her head, nose lightly brushing against yours. “No.” A pause. “Well, I’m not sure? I haven’t told him, but I’m sure he’s pieced it together by now. I’m not exactly subtle when I talk about you.”
Your eyes fluttered shut for a moment. “So you talk about me a lot, huh?”
“All the time,” Lucy admitted with a breathless little laugh. “I’m.. I’m absolutely crazy about you.”
The two of you came to a stop. It was easy to tune out all the noise and motion around you as your attention turned to focus on only Lucy. And the way you could hear your heart hammering away in your ears- the two of you were so close together, chest to chest, that you were sure she’d be able to feel it.
“I know there’s people everywhere, but- god, can I kiss you?” You stumbled over your words, mouth clumsy with more than just alcohol.
Lucy held her breath. “Always. Please.”
And so you did.
It didn’t matter that you were in the middle of a crowded room, that any of your friends or co-workers could be watching. All that mattered was the way Lucy’s mouth clumsily pressed against yours.
Your fingers curled in the fabric of her dress. Lucy pressed her nails against your hairline and you let out a soft noise against her lips. Every point where you touched sent sparks of electricity shooting under your skin and it didn’t take long for the kiss to go from sweet to heated. You nipped at Lucy’s lower lip and she opened her mouth to you, your tongues meeting-
A giggle erupted from within your chest. You laughed against her, mouths moving drunkenly together, and you could feel Lucy’s chest shake as she started to laugh quietly with you.
“Are you alright, love?” Lucy continued to press kisses around your mouth and against your cheeks.
“You taste like champagne. Like- like sweet bubbly.”
Lucy pulled back to give you an amused look. “Sounds like it’s time we call it a night.”
We. You grinned at that and Lucy shook her head fondly before leaning it to kiss you once more, a quick peck against your lips.
"Let’s say our goodbyes and get out of here.” Lucy removed your grip from her dress and you were quick to grab one of her hands, intertwining your fingers.
“Shoes. We need our shoes,” you pointed out as Lucy lead you out through the crowd.
“Right, yes. Shoes, goodbyes, hotel room. I’m thinking mine?” Lucy nearly had to shout to be heard over the din of the room as the music switched back to something more upbeat.
You squeezed her hand. “I don’t care where we stay, just as long as it’s together.” You waited until Lucy turned around to smile at you before you continued, “And with a bed, of course.”
“Forget the shoes, we’ll grab them in the morning.”
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blackgirlsuperherorants · 6 years ago
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I know Freddie Mercury isn’t a superhero, but he’s also maybe a superhero, and I guess I’m gonna put this movie discussion here, because... this blog is already used to my bullshit.
No, but, this is actually a serious thing. This will be lengthy, because I’m approaching this not as a rant, as per usual on this blog, but as a study? I guess? I mean, without research, because I’m in grad school and my brain will crumble if I add any extra research, but yeah. 
I have seen a lot of criticism of the Bohemian Rhapsody movie that I have been giving a lot of thought to. To be completely fair, I sort of have always had this view of Freddie Mercury as a godlike figure. And I love Rami Malek. So, I have been checking and double-checking myself for bias, which is the thing to do in this situation. 
I really enjoyed the film. I am also a screenwriter (MFA student) and I understand and cannot totally ignore the problems with the film. 
One of the things we’ve been taught to do, in my MFA program, is pay attention to things like cultural markers and identity markers in our writing. As in, if we write a bisexual character, what makes them bisexual? If we write a South Asian character, what makes them South Asian? Often, writers will write “diverse” characters just for the sake of having them in the picture, but they will inadvertently be devoid of whatever it is that makes them... part of their culture. This is not my criticism of BoRhap. In fact, this post will not be a criticism, per se. It’s... it’s an examination, and a question. And, full disclosure, I should absolutely be working on stuff for class, right now.
This will be focusing on the portrayal of queerness in BoRhap more than anything. 
When I saw the movie, being queer myself, I was very... excited to hear Freddie say, on screen, that he thinks he’s bisexual. Like, what a moment, in film. I don’t think that happens, often, and I don’t think screenwriters write shit like that. I believe it’s because bisexuality is misunderstood. People assume bisexual men are gay. People assume bisexual women are straight. People think of bisexuality as something you do while you’re in college out of curiosity, or the last stop over to gayville. People think bi people who date or marry members of their same gender are gay/lesbian. People think bi people who date or marry members of a different gender are straight. It’s just a very, very misunderstood sexual orientation, and those of us who identify this way (I mostly do, although I kinda like queer as a general term) really walk on eggshells all the time trying not to ... be constantly judged from all parties, I guess. So, to hear a character say it in a film? And it’s sincere and not a character flaw or played for laughs? I C O N I C.
But the film also undercuts that line immediately, with Freddie’s girlfriend yelling at him that he’s gay. Because a man can’t be bisexual, yenno? If he likes dick at all, he’s gay. (Of course this is wrong as hell, but whatever.)
I guess, that’s part of the reason so many people are unhappy or even angry with the portrayal. One criticism I keep seeing is how it treats queerness as a cautionary tale. How Freddie gets caught up in this “gay underworld” lifestyle and it literally kills him. How redemption is him “straightening up”. (Which actually does not happen in the movie. The movie... ends with him finally settling down with JIM, a man, JIM! How that was read as “straightening up” or I guess becoming hetero to some people is beyond me.)
And mentioning that, there’s criticism of showing Paul Prenter, who I understand re: Queen fans, to be a slimy slimeball piece of crap, as the villain, because Paul is also a gay man. 
So, this is my concern, or I guess, my issue, with these criticisms: much of this is based in the reality of the situation. I’m not suggesting that this film is historically accurate. I’ve seen discussions of timeline issues, invented moments, and Freddie actually never told his bandmates he had AIDS until the day before he died (unlike in the film). But I struggle with the argument that it presents queerness as a cautionary tale when Freddie’s battle with AIDS is actually what happened. He actually died of AIDS related illness in 1991. That’s not to say being gay killed him. A lot of people were gay in the 1980s and did not contract HIV or die of AIDS. But unfortunately, Freddie did.
So, what is the line? When we’re handling stories based on true events, based on real people... what are we supposed to write? Would it have been worse to show Freddie as a healthy man who died in his sleep of natural causes, ignoring his battle with AIDS completely? 
What about the Prenter situation? The man wasn’t a good person, and wasn’t good for Queen or Freddie. I’m not extremely well versed in Queen history, but I do know that Paul Prenter is, well, a villain in the eyes of Queen’s fans, and he did do snake shit to Freddie. Does the fact that he’s also gay mean that should be left out? Or should they have erased Paul’s queerness, so that it’s not suggested that the evil gay person ruined Freddie’s life?
Some of my opinion on that matter should be clear, but I also don’t really know the way they should’ve handled this stuff. I thought, personally, that they handled AIDS delicately, and maybe a little too delicately, but... I thought it was done fine. Freddie wasn’t even blamed for having the disease. And the invented scene where he tells the band before Live Aid (I don’t know that he had even been diagnosed, yet, in real life), was a touching, beautiful scene. Nobody scolds him, or says “you shouldn’t have fucked all those people!” They aren’t angry. They cry together, and tell him he’s a legend and they love him. Then they go get a drink. It wasn’t... at all... very “cautionary tale,” to me. Especially because directly after that moment, he goes and finds Jim Hutton, the man he’s been wanting for a long time, and finally pursues being with him for real. So, what’s the caution, here? Don’t be gay, just be gay? I don’t... get it....
Like, it’s a hard line to tow. Do you... make a huge show of an icon dying from a horrible disease that ravaged the LGBT community terribly during the 1980s? Or do you.... not mention it at all? Or ... do you do what they did and mention it lightly, and try not to make it a huge deal? I don’t know. I’m sure you don’t really know, either. You’d probably try your best, if you were writing this, but ultimately, it’s hard to know what the move is, here. 
That’s not to say that the movie doesn’t have faults. It doesn’t know which story it’s telling. It sort of moves like a “brief history of” type of thing. It’s also 2 hours and 30 minutes long, and still feels like it didn’t go in depth at all. 
I also agree that we see much of Freddie’s vices and little of the other members’ vices. I mean, we get hints of Roger’s affinity towards being with multiple women, but barely. And John and Brian were basically angels. Which... can’t have been realistic, considering they were hot rock stars in the 1970s, when everyone was fucking everyone and everyone was snorting cocaine. I do wish they would’ve showed them all behaving like rock stars, more, instead of showing Freddie throwing lavish parties and the other guys sort of shaking their head and going home to their wives. But also, we don’t see very much of Freddie’s wildness, either. The movie is very, very tame, as rock star biopics go. There’s not even a sex scene. There’s cocaine on a table, but nobody snorts it on screen. There are parties with lots of boys making out and whatnot, but Freddie isn’t even shown really participating in that shit. I honestly think it’s even this tame because the living Queen members had a say.
Like, if Brian May and Roger Taylor weren’t involved in the production, I’m sure we would’ve seen more of their vices, too. And probably more of Freddie’s vices. I think it’s silly for people to suggest they are jealous of Freddie and made it look like Freddie was the only one partying to make themselves look better, because I think Freddie looks damn near innocent in the film, and I think that’s thanks to Brian and Roger protecting his legacy. For instance, we learn towards the end that Freddie has AIDS. But WE NEVER SEE HIM CONTRACT HIV. We don’t see him sleep with some dirty bear in the back of some gay bar in NYC or something. We just... learn he has AIDS. 
That can either be cause for criticism or praise, I guess. From a writing perspective, generally you wouldn’t randomly reveal a character has AIDS without some hint as to how they contracted it, in a narrative like this one that spans like 15-20 years. And also, maybe you could stretch it as an example of that “cautionary tale” business, like “even though Freddie was a good boy, he still got AIDS because of all the gay.” Which... is a reach, and I’m sorry I pulled it out of the sky. They also did one of my least favorite movie tropes, which is “character coughs up blood, so you know he gon die.” Although, IDK if that’s something that every happened to him. Singers can cough up blood just from damaging their throat while doing certain things with their voice, and getting infections and things...
Anyway...
I just... I get the criticism, and I get the instinct to be hypercritical of this movie. After all, Freddie was one of the most unapologetic and influential queer artists in the world. In history. You want to make sure it’s done right and with respect.
But, I genuinely don’t know how they could’ve approached this differently. I mean, I see how changes could be made to make it a better film, narratively speaking. But I’m not sure how I’d write a movie about Freddie Mercury and discuss his battle with AIDS... without the reality that Freddie succumbs to the illness in 1991. Or, how you write about the doomed dealings with Paul Prenter, without acknowledging that he’s a creep, even if he is gay.
See, when shit is based on a true story, it’s harder to navigate these things. Because, I totally understand the reaction to what many perceive is a slight against their people. But, IDK, if I’m writing a Freddie Mercury film, I’d know that he’s going to die, and from what, and I’d know that he kept it to himself, and explore why that is. 
And as for Paul Prenter, fuck that guy. One can be evil and gay. Just as one can be a sweet baby angel and gay (like Jim Hutton.)
The movie has problem. (Another topic for another day). These aren’t problems it has, to me. 
I’d be open to hear others’ opinions, here, but only if you promise not to yell at me (CAPS IS YELLING) or call me names or be a general jerk about things. 
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shinichirosbabymama · 8 years ago
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Happy Birthday Daddymenrah!
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A/N: So today is the birthday of real bad bitch and GOAT @daddymenrah I decided to write her a little something following a hilarious conversation we had over whatsapp. Plus I’ve always been kinda equally horrified and fascinated by the thought of your fave finding your fanfic blog. But here we go, enjoy!!
‘Come on you guys, it’s bed time.’ Jeffrey cooed in a low voice to his chickens as they clucked and squawked as they made their way into their pen. It was dusk on the farm and time for his evening ritual.
Jeffrey made his way inside, stopping first to grab a beer from the fridge before firing up his laptop. It was once again his favourite time of day.
Jeffrey squinted at the keyboard over the top of his glasses as he slowly tapped in tumblr.com into the search engine (after searching for google directly through google chrome).
Once he had accessed the site he went immediately to the Neagan x reader tag - his personal favourite. Hell people really fucking loved this character and how could he blame them? He gave a low chuckle to himself at his own narcissism as the page loaded, his eyes searching anxiously for any new posts.
His heart skipped a beat when he spotted a new one - Professor Neagan. The title alone made the blood rush to his cock as he began to read. The story got hot really fast to the point where Jeffrey almost needed to palm himself out of frustration. This girl knew how to fuck. He could have spent himself on the first read right there but he decided to indulge.
He clicked on the URL - he had no idea what a 'menrah’ was but the daddy element was certainly attractive. He kept the imagine open in a separate tab as he began to scroll through the blog, the site of his own face across numerous gifsets pleasing him greatly. Maybe there’d even be pics of her.
His need continued to increase as his eyes flitted between the blog and the writing until he came across something that made his blood run cold. A man, who looked younger than him, was sprawled across the screen in front of him writhing around in some bed sheets.
'The fuck…’ Jeffrey hissed as he examined the tags daddymenrah had adorned this post with.
'Fuck’
'Daddy’
Each one was like a stab in the chest. Jeffrey cursed himself for allowing to think that just for a moment, he was her daddy and not this skinny little kid – Rami Malek.
What was so fucking special about him anyway? Against his better judgement he continued scrolling only to be met with more pictures, writing and declarations that she wanted to screw him. That was it. Jeffrey opened up her ask box (after taking 2 minutes just to find the damn thing) and typed out a quick message, the sound of his fingertips clattering on the keyboard filling the room.
Are you a Neagan blog or not? I don’t know who this other guy is but I like your Neagan writing the best.
Jeffrey rubbed the facial hair above his lip after he’d hit send. He hoped he hadn’t upset her with his impulsiveness. The thought stayed on this mind until he noticed a reply on the blog an hour later.
Well this is my blog after all if I want to write other characters then I will. Neagan will always be my priority but I’m open to other stuff. If you don’t like it don’t follow.
Jeffrey felt a stab of guilt in his chest – he’d been completely foolish to just message her so suddenly like that. He knew he had to make amends.  Agitated, he began to think.  After a few moments Jeffrey shoved his glasses higher up his nose as he focused on the screen. He knew what he had to do.
Jeffrey’s knowledge of tumblr had been limited to start with. But making his own blog took on a whole new level of technophobia. His paranoia led him to create a whole new email address which took nearly half an hour in itself. For the next six hours he carefully crafted his blog – titling himself Neagan’s bitch as he slowly filled the page with gifs and pictures. His follower count grew but barely.
Late that evening, exhausted by staring at the screen for hours on end, Jeffrey hovered his cursor over daddymenrah’s ask box once again. This time there was anonymity, no hiding. It was time to be Neagan’s Bitch.
Hey so I only just joined this site but can I just say your writing is fucking amazing. You write Neagan so well and so dirty! I think that’s my favourite part haha. Sorry if this is weird.
Jeffrey steepled his fingers until his chin, hoping that his little note was enough to make amends. He relaxed back into the couch, hoping to get out of his mind with some TV and the beer he’d long forgotten about earlier.
Jeffrey jumped awake a few hours later. The glow of the TV filled the dark room and he could feel dampness on his thigh where the last of the beer had spilled from his hand. He shot upright to grab a towel to dry himself with when he noticed tumblr still pulled up on his laptop.
As he approached the screen to shut it down he noticed something had changed. A box had appeared in the corner of the screen and Jeffrey’s heart palpitated with horror when he realised it was daddymenrah.
Thank you for your message. Your cute as hell. More people need to recognise Neagan as the god of fuck that he is. JDM can get it too tbh.
Jeffrey let out a choked sound at the sight of his own name. His hands shook as his fingers danced across the keyboard in swift reply – barely processing what was even happening.
I agree I don’t think enough people recognise Neagan’s sex appeal, I think most just think he’s some old dude lol.
Jeffrey perched on the edge of his seat as he waited for the reply. It came quickly once again.
Old dude? That’s exactly what I find so attractive about him though. He gets better the more he ages.
Well that certainly piqued his interest. Jeffrey ended up staying up most of the night talking to this girl. He felt like a bit of a creep but it was (mostly) innocent and in all honestly she fascinated him. He learnt that she was from the UK (which would explain why she was wide awake and he was dropping off), she was younger than he was (but totally legal! He reminded himself over and over) and totally infatuated with, well, him.
After that night Jeffrey didn’t let his phone out of sight. He constantly waited for her to text him. As soon as his phone screen lit up he snatched it up, searching for any information she was giving him. It was strange honestly – he couldn’t place what had led him obsessing over this girl online but that didn’t seem to stop him. She, on the other hand, was far more aloof. They communicated often and she made him burst out laughing with a deep chuckle often but he knew she probably wasn’t waiting for her phone to ping like he did.
Jeffrey had to constantly balance between revealing too much about himself and going too far in the descriptions of his on-screen characters. Even his vibrant strand narcissism could only go so far. But daddymenrah continued to indulge him without even knowing it.
This went on for a long time. Longer than he thought actually. He knew his girlfriend suspected him but he only grew to resent her. She didn’t talk about him the way daddymenrah did. She didn’t appreciate him. As he and daddymenrah got closer and closer he began to understand that she didn’t just want his body – she really understood him. She’d studied him a lot. And she liked what he saw. He knew her real name but he tried not to call her it for risk of her materialising too much for him.
Eventually he could tell that she was growing suspicious of him. She never got upset about anything but Jeffrey could tell she was kind of pissed that he didn’t share much.
I wish you would tell me more about yourself looool I hate emotional shit but I wish I just knew some stuff.
You do know stuff we talk all the time.
Yeah. About me.
Jeffrey sighed. She wasn’t wrong. But what could he do? If the truth came out she would never speak to him again. And his career would be in ruins. But at the same time he couldn’t bear to throw this away. What a ridiculous thought – a grown ass man getting caught up with a  girl who writes stories about him online. Jeffrey continued to scold himself as he fell asleep that night but he knew that a decision was inevitable.
The day started like any other. Jeffrey and daddymenrah texted first thing in the morning and then sporadically throughout the rest of the day. Jeffrey smiled and swore loudly when he drooled toothpaste all over himself when he was distracted staring at one of the many selfies she sent him reacting to some stupid joke he’d made. Sometimes she pulled the most horrendous faces but they always made him laugh. He loved to see a woman so uninhibited.
That night Jeffrey settled down on the couch of his empty house. He felt sick but he knew it was now or never. He had to make her understand. Hands shaking, he typed out a message.
Do you want to Facetime? I thought it would only be fair.
YES OF COURSE I DOOOO
Okay but first let me just say something.
Aight shoot.
This isn’t a prank or one of those fake videos or whatever. I’m sorry that I’ve been lying to you I just didn’t know what else to do…
Daddymenrah didn’t reply to that and instead the sound of the incoming Facetime call blared out loudly from his phone. Jeffrey swallowed down the bile that had been rising in his throat and answered the call, holding the phone as thought it were a grenade.
The girl he’d been talking to for all these months gazed back inquisitively from the screen and then froze completely still, a frown overtaking her features.
'Surprise doll.’ Was all Jeffrey could muster in a low voice laced with embarrassment.
'This isn’t fucking funny.’ Daddymenrah began to laugh, a high-pitched wild laugh.
'It’s not a joke…’ And then Jeffrey said her name and she stopped, going very quiet.
'WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK-’
Jeffrey had to hold the phone a good few feet away from him to cope with the noise as it bounced around his whole damn house.
'Please try to calm down. I said I was sorry – I couldn’t just tell you from the start darlin’’
'Shut the fuck up just book me a plane ticket. I’m coming over there right now motherfucker.’
Jeffrey let out a loud laugh. So this is a thing now – he thought.
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ukumi-chan · 8 years ago
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Tag Game~
LOL @omg-satou tagged everyone who wanted to do it, so don’t mind if I let myself in~~ 1. Are you named after anyone? Not after anyone specific! Although my name is hard to pronounce for most people, so my mom gave me the middle name Chloe in case I travel out of Denmark! //Never use it tho'// 2.  When as the last time you cried? Yesterday actually ^o^;; -My mom decided to show me a video of how much she loves me, and I'm a very sensetive person...... I cry easily TBH //Mentally slaps self "CeeCee ur soon to be 19 FFS!!"// 3. Do you like your handwriting? I make hearts above my i's and my a's are hella' old fashioned... But it fits me so i'm oke w/ it! 4. What is your favorite lunch meat? Chicken? Haha I can eat most meats. 5. Do you have kids? No, but I would love to be a mother someday~ 6. If you were a different person, would you be friends with you? I guess lol?? I mean I like myself so i'd hope so! 7. Do you use sarcasm? A loooooot >v> 8. do you still have your tonsils? Sure do! 9. Would you bungee jump?  Hell nah boi!! 10. What’s your favorite cereal? I don't eat a lot of cereal actually! But we always buy oat meal sooo??
11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? I double tie them so I don't have to deal w/ it TBH. I don't think i've done it since I got em'! 12. Do you think you’re a strong person? Mentally yeah! I've been through a lot of heavy stuff, but I'm still me~ Physically i'm like... In the middle x,D 13. What’s your favorite ice cream? Vanilla~~ 14. What’s the first thing you notice about people? How their personality is! 15. What’s your least favorite physical thing about yourself? My height.... >3> 16. What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? I never wear pants. Only skirts or dresses! But black stockings currently~ 17. What are you listening to right now? Not anything ATM! 18. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Probably a light pink! 19. Favorite smell? Ooooh... This will sound a bit wierd haha, but at my current workplace //a flower shop// The attic has a very specific smell to it! I can't really describe it, but it has a familiarity to it! Reminds me of when I used to go to my grandparents farm as a kid! ^w^ 20. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mom! 21. Favorite sport to watch? IDK if there's a proper word for it in english, but my 2 step-siblings go to what we in Denmark call 'Håndbold' directly translated into 'hand-ball' //which sounds really stupid TBH// 22. Hair color? Blonde~! 23. Eye color? Blue! 24. Do you wear contacts? I'm afraid of em', but I find them really prettyyy ;3; 25. Favorite food? PIZZAAAA~~ 26. Scary movies or comedy? Scary movies actually! Bring me dat horror!! 27. Last movie you watched? "Your Name" ... //I blame @mullberri and god damn I cried like niagara falls!!// 28: What color shirt are you wearing? ....... A white/black striped dress and cardigan???? 29. Summer or winter? I'm more of a spring type of gurl! 30. Hugs or kisses? HUGS FOR EVERYONEE~~~~!! <3<3 31.Book you’re currently reading? There's this book that in Danish is titled; "Døden I dine øjne" or "The death in your eyes." if u translate it directly. But the official english title is "The Chaos" by Rachel Ward. 32. Who do you miss right now? My dog Charlie ;3; 33. What’s on your mouse pad? I don't use mine LOL! //But it's just a plain black one// 34. What’s the last tv program you watched? Watched a few spisodes of ‘Mr.Robot’! //Just Cuz Rami malek lol// 35. What is the best sound?  The sound of raindrops! It's so calming~ 36. Rolling stones or The Beatles? I don't listen to either of em'! 37. What’s the furthest you’ve ever traveled? From DK to London... I don't get out much 38. Do you have a special talent? Other than maybe drawing, I can bend my feet in a really odd position that looks like the poses u use in anime! LOL it freaks ppl out for some reason! 39. Where were you born? In Denmark! In a very small town called 'Sønderborg'
And I tag~~ @origami10 ((Heyo sweets!!)) @pleaseshutupaboutsatou ((Da’ Dearie)) And anyone else who’d like to try~! ((=^o^=))/
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