#Yay! he doesn't beat his freaking wife

[bethanydelleman]

Yes, sure, Mr. Bennet doesn't beat or cheat on his wife, he has cleared an extremely low bar, but who in Austen's novels does? This is the novelist who tore down a heroine for mildly insulting a spinster, you think she is okay with a man who exposes his wife "to the contempt of her own children"? Like honestly you think Jane Austen is okay with a man who repeatedly calls his own daughters stupid?

[social-muffin]

Oki so I grabbed all the questions! Lemme answer them for the woman of all time!

Now introducing! Hibari Noriko! The mother of the most notorious troublemaker of Namimori!

A: what happens if they get shot in the forehead with the dying will bullet?

Noriko will suddenly be half naked and deeply determined to tell her husband and son she loves them! Her husband, Hibari Renji, and every other person on the construction site he works in will promptly nosebleed and faint, or be bowled over and knocked unconscious because Noriko must confess to her husband with a kiss.

Then she will seek out Kyoya and tell him she loves him a whole lot! While squishing his cheeks and putting a Lil kiss on his head. Kyoya would freak out over anyone seeing his mom like this, so everyone is getting bitten to death indiscriminately. Meanwhile, Noriko comes out of it with Kyoya's jacket around her shoulders. She will be confused but not distraught. She likes modest clothing but doesn't mind getting her tan on spontaneously either. Kyoya disagrees. He lectures her after he's done beating people unconscious, and she will pout on her way back home. The next day, it'll be a thing of the past to her. Kyoya is mad about it for a month, but he recovers eventually too. Renji loves his wife!

More under the read more of course x3

B: what team would they be on in the rainbow representative arc...

Team Fon! Fon is her twin brother, even if she's mad at him for disappearing for decades after the curse. She would fight for him begrudgingly upon Kyoya's request.

C: would they be able to protect enma from bullies in a high school AU?

She would! You see, bullies have this odd habit of looking at her once and then taking off screaming in another direction. Noriko doesn't realize this is because at first glance her and Kyoya look similar enough. Enma is getting bandaids put on any injuries and a little food snack from someplace nearby!

D: would they like or dislike interacting with cervello?

Noriko would like them at first, because yay, fellow twins! But then the Cervello have very little individuality and that would confuse her and make her sad.

E: what flame type would they have in an AU where they have a different one?

I can see her as a Lightning or a Sun!

F: what happens when you apply the 10-Year Bazooka directly to their forehead...

Suddenly! A sweet 50+ year old lady. Kyoya is getting his cheeks squished and complimented for being so cute and polite. He endures it only because this has been his life since birth anyway.

G: would they do well in school if you put their memories of their future arc self into their current/present self. (if they already are, what % are they on tests?)

Noriko is around 48 years old in the present time. She also never finished a formal education. At age 14, she went to study and work in her chosen field of flora and fauna and nature preservation! Even at age 58, she would at best score a passing grade on the tests Kyoya gives her for fun sometimes.

H: how well/decently/poorly would their life go if they were genuinely lambo and i-pin's age.

The Hibari Clan looks after their own as long as their influence is welcomed. And Noriko never hesitated to ask her Family for help! She is spoiled and safe and cared for. A relatively normal childhood for her!

I: what would they hate the most to have as a box animal. or a different one.

Noriko does like most animals! Everything has a place in the ecosystem! However. If her box animal were a species invasive and harmful to Japan she would be disappointed.

J: black spell or white spell in millefiore?

White Spell! Accidentally. As soon as she sees her son out and about causing a ruckus, she would deflect as easily as Spanner.

K: disciplinary committee or liquidation committee?

It depends whether or not she meets Adelheid! Because 'Kyoya don't be mean to women. If she wants a fight, give her a fair fight.' If Kyoya says no or is huffy, which he would be, just to be contrary, then Noriko is joining Adel's side and gushing about Kyoya as a baby. Truly, nobody wins in this situation.

L: what if YOUR character had the sky mare ring instead of byakuran. what would they do with it.

Noriko would think it's pretty jewelry, then hand it over to the Clan because she doesn't care for sky things. The ring will be kept safe for however long it takes for Cervello to ask for it back, I suppose.

M: make them a leader regardless of their actual role and give them 6 guardians of any type, any characters. (you can do this monotype or 2 types or whatever you want... think of this like making a pokemon team if you want a metaphor.)

Oh! Oh Noriko would love to join Kyoya's little friends for one of their playdates!

But really: Takeshi, Tsuna, Hayato Lambo, Ryohei and Chrome. Kyoya can stay home and have a quiet afternoon, his mom is taking his friends out for dinner! And to bond!

N: would they willingly be part of vindice?

No, she doesn't wanna be immortal. Now, if they kindly asked her to keep the prison tidy and feed the prisoners, she could do that! But she would rather watch the world burn than become an Arcobaleno.

O: would they be a victim of mist flame ransomware? would they even know what's going on...

The only mist flames she's exposed to are Renji's and Kyoya's! They are both on the weaker side too, so no. She's getting scammed. But honestly that's. A normal thing for her? Kyoya often intervenes to rescue his parents from bad deals and computer viruses. His parents are Gen X, or Boomers and not great with technology.

O(2): would they notice if someone is subtly using flames with objects just doing something they normally do?

Despite Noriko falling for Mist scams! She has an incredible flame-sense. She can find Kyoya in a crowd of billions, not just because people avoid him like the plague. 'Your Flame is easy to spot, Sweetie ^^' so yes! She notices flames a lot in her day to day!

P: what are the ranks they'd be #1 in if you had fuuta ask the ranking planet?

#1 person most likely to get away with treating Hibari Kyoya like an average teenager.

#1/only person to be able to convince Kyoya to behave well in a social setting.

#1 most well protected mother in Vongola history? Perhaps?

Also one of only two people to frequently be blessed with Kyoya's very limited patience, empathy and kindness in regular situations. (He can be those things in special circumstances, but his parents bring it out of him regardless of the situation at hand) The only other person to get this privilege is Renji!

Q: would they ever try bianchi's cooking.

Noriko would try it and survive! She's silly enough to eat random berries from her massive nature preservation forest, so she's accidentally developed resistances to a few plant poisons! At worst she's getting a tummy ache . But she likes the taste as long as it's animal and animal product free!

Ironically, she's a vegan insofar that she won't use animal products if she doesn't know for certain that the animals are treated well! She does have some chickens and an apiary! So eggs and honey are on the table!

R: if they got Skullitis... what deep, dark secrets come out... ?

That would be a complicated situation, because she definitely doesn't have a clean record, no sir! Being a fully trained assassin isn't something she's proud of. Every murder on her record makes her frown. The many small things that annoy her about her husband and son is something she would never dare bring up! Her deepest, darkest secret might just be that she resents Kyoya for being on speaking/friendly terms with Fon.

Luckily for everyone, KYOYA KNEW THAT ALREADY! Heck, the whole Hibari Clan is mad at him for that! He doesn't give a hoot either way! He finds the whole situation ridiculous in the not fun way.

S: what if they fail miserably doing something they usually can do just fine with their flames... what would it be. what would happen.

Hmm... Noriko doesn't use her cloud flames for much, but occasionally, I imagine she would use them to comfort Kyoya whenever he's too prickly to tolerate human touch. If she messed up comforting him or god forbid made him feel worse, Kyoya is kicking her out of his room and not speaking to her for the rest of the day. Noriko will feel terrible, but she gets to apologize the next day, and Kyoya might just forgive her because she'd make his favorite foods.

T: would they be helpful if they went to help kyoko and/or haru with chores...

Super mom to the rescue! She is taking charge and no dust bunny stands a chance!

Unfortunately, she wants to make it a family activity, and Kyoya demands that if he has to clean, so must everyone else. And it devolves into chaos from there.

If it's just Noriko and the girls tho, the floor will be sparkling, dust will be a thing of the past, their crops are watered and thriving and the dining table is almost bending with the weight of that massive meal!

U: would they also keep non-mafia people they care for/are close to aware of anything major or dangerous happening?

Kyoya doesn't keep Noriko in the loop. Her and Renji tend to figure out mafia things after they already happened, and they don't like it. Much to Kyoyas chagrin, they also tell the Clan things very honestly. They did know he would be in the Vongola. They were involved in the process when the Clan elders offered a six year old Kyoya to Nono as a potential future tenth gen Cloud. Reborn was not informed of this, however. Iemitsu sucks at communicating.

Noriko will just casually talk about Mafia things to civilian friends, too, even if it's in vague terms. She never took no oath, and Nana deserves to know her Son likely has scars!

V: what IS their dying will? do they have anything they'd regret to the point of not dying?

Noriko is a Cloud! The first time her dying will lit up, it was to protect her family. And that is still her biggest conviction. Even if her family is no longer her brothers and cousins and is instead her husband and son. She really adores them in a very honest way.

W: if spanner custom-made them their dream moska, what would it do? (does it help them out? does it look cool?)

It would look absolutely adorable! Either a little helper around the house and her forest (someone to removed spikey, invasive plants would be great!) Or a little robot Hibird to check in on her husband and Kyoya occasionally. Not a spy thing. Literally just to be like, 'What do you want for dinner, sweetie?^^'

X: if they had a rough equivalent of the Vongola Gear, what would it do too?

I mean. Sometimes Kyoya is sick of wearing his bracelet and hands it off to his parents. Or leaves it at their place. Noriko has gotten adept at using it herself because of that. But if she had a gear herself, I can imagine it to be a cute Keychain or a foldable fan? If it has to be jewelry like a bejeweled hair tie or clip. She has pretty, long hair!

Y: would they have any way to defeat Ghost?

No. She's a decent fighter, but. Big ol guy of lightning would leave her out of her depth. Now if Ghost was more solid, she does have the strength and pain resistance to do some serious damage even without her flame! But they probably need more than that to defeat Ghost.

Z: ... would you trust them with any piece of the trinisette.

Kyoya trusts her with his bracelet, and she hasn't lost or misused it so far! Now, if she had a whole set of the three available, that would put a much bigger target on her back! Kyoya, Renji and the whole Clan (including Fon here(and Skull, but that's a other story)) would be very protective of her and keep her safe! Noriko can be trusted with the two sets of rings!

The pacifiers... are a different story. Noriko resents those for ripping her brother from her life. She is actively leaving them in a ditch. Luckily, Kyoya noticed, collected them, and told Fon to go call his friends and get their stuff from his place.

Happy Ending?

to everyone with ocs (I love u)

i'm too scared of getting personal to reblog the cool ask memes (?) so here is a somewhat similar one for ocs and/or characters in general. ... i did not finish the full alphabet, i am sorry. :')

reblog this and/or @ me and tell me about your oc in as many or as little as you want.

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A: what happens if they get shot in the forehead with the dying will bullet?

B: what team would they be on in the rainbow representative arc...

C: would they be able to protect enma from bullies in a high school AU.

D: would they like or dislike interacting with cervello.

E: what flame type would they have in an AU where they have a different one?

F: what happens when you apply the 10-Year Bazooka directly to their forehead...

G: would they do well in school if you put their memories of their future arc self into their current/present self. (if they already are, what % are they on tests?)

H: how well/decently/poorly would their life go if they were genuinely lambo and i-pin's age.

I: what would they hate the most to have as a box animal. or a different one.

J: black spell or white spell in millefiore?

K: disciplinary committee or liquidation committee?

L: what if YOUR character had the sky mare ring instead of byakuran. what would they do with it.

M: make them a leader regardless of their actual role and give them 6 guardians of any type, any characters. (you can do this monotype or 2 types or whatever you want... think of this like making a pokemon team if you want a metaphor.)

N: would they willingly be part of vindice?

O: would they be a victim of mist flame ransomware? would they even know what's going on...

P: what are the ranks they'd be #1 in if you had fuuta ask the ranking planet?

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... i'm tired and that's enough for now lmao.